Happy Scribe Logo

Transcript

Proofread by 0 readers
Proofread
[00:00:23]

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollars Car Rental Studios, that's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king in the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us, America. My co-host today is Kristy Wright Ramsey personality, and we absolutely are looking forward to taking your calls.

[00:00:50]

The phone number eight eight two five five two two five. That's triple eight eight two five five two two five.

[00:00:59]

Mark is going to start us off in Manchester, New Hampshire. Hey, Mark, welcome to The Dave Ramsey Show. What's up?

[00:01:06]

Hey, they've either gone better than I deserve. How can we help? I have a question. Me and my family moved here recently, about four years ago, and we got here legally. We are on the way to trying to get our life started. And I want to have a question for you. I recently moved out. I paid off almost like eighty thousand dollars worth of debt with my future wife. And I want to see, like from my parents point of view, they still have about like thousand worth of debt making, sixty thousand a year, they're in their 60s and I want them to pay off their debt and save for retirement, I guess.

[00:01:49]

What would be your action?

[00:01:54]

OK, what does their debt have to do with you? I'm confused other than you just wish good things. You wish good things for them. But other than that. It doesn't have to do anything with me. It's just like they moved here and they made up for financial decisions, I guess I would make more of my question is how would they save up for retirement being in their 60s right now? I see.

[00:02:18]

OK, and where did they move from? Lebanon and when? 20, 30. OK. OK. All right, cool. And so they have a household income of 60000, and how would someone in their 60s with that and 20000 hours worth of debt save up for retirement? Is that what you're saying? Right, Kristie, I think they're going to kick their income up and they're going to be working a while. Yeah, and I'm curious, Mark, I've got one follow up question.

[00:02:45]

Are they already talking about it? And and they're opposed to it, like you talked to him about it and they're opposed to it. Or this is not even just on their radar because that's a little bit different, how you approach it, if you're coming from a position of their opposition to the idea or they just it's not even on their radar. And you want to introduce it from an encouraging perspective.

[00:03:02]

Well, it's on their radar as they're having trouble with that primarily right now and then with with them getting older and their health issues being getting worse, I guess. That would be going over time in the next 10 years. Sure. OK, that makes sense. I mean, because a lot of times we have people call in and, you know, their parents are just are not on board and not interested in hearing about it. So the fact that they're already thinking about I think is good.

[00:03:30]

I think, you know, one of the approaches you can take, just like Dave said, with encouraging them to increase their income, whether it's a sad business, take an additional job, whatever that is for the short term, not for the long term, for the short term to get this debt paid off.

[00:03:42]

But if you come from a really encouraging perspective, I think from just I think a lot of times they can look at this as well where, you know, we're older or it's too late or blah, blah, blah. It's like you can really encourage them, show them what's possible. Hey, if you if you increase your income to this and you set a goal to get it paid off, by this time, you could kind of see the light at the end of the tunnel and and get get motivated by seeing the possibilities that may kind of light a fire under them as well.

[00:04:06]

Exactly how old are they exactly? OK. Late 60s there. All right, well, it's going to take a year if their own beans and rice to pay off 20000 make in 60. OK, so one years doing that. The next four months is going to be spent building their emergency fund of three to six months of expenses. And then from there, they're going to just do all they can to build a nest egg and to get into a position to retire.

[00:04:32]

At that point, the book that we have that would help the most with that is Chris Hogan's first number one bestseller called Retire Inspired. But it doesn't change the baby steps. Baby steps are based on the shortest distance from where you are today to become wealthy. What is the shortest distance and the shortest distance is the same. When you're 26 or 66, it's clear through the debt and with no payments, you build an emergency fund and then you dive on the on the retirement grenade in this case and you go crazy on it.

[00:05:05]

So hold on. I'll have Kelly pick up and we'll send you a copy of Chris's book, Retire Inspired. Danny is in Cincinnati. Hi, Danny.

[00:05:12]

How are you? One day coming yesterday, better than I deserve. What's up? I don't question I'm going to turn 70 in October and I've been doing something I'm never going to happen to.

[00:05:26]

Having trouble hearing you. Your phone's muffled. Can you speak directly into it? I'm going to have to ask you to hear me now. Yes, sir. OK, I'm in my legs and I'm going to be 70 in October, and I have already got somebody just to sit in the closet. I haven't done anything to 30000, and I know I've met incorrectly. I think the government now says when I turn 72, it's going to be mandatory.

[00:05:58]

I'm just wondering if you have any ideas what I should do with it, change it over into a taxable type of mutual funds or you other.

[00:06:09]

Yeah, I'm not positive about mandatory withdrawals on a Roth. I think it's only on traditional. So double check that with your investment adviser. And if it is, then take the minimum the required minimum distributions and just move those into other investments is what I would do in this case.

[00:06:25]

Or it's only three thousand bucks. If you've got another nest egg you're really planning live on, maybe you enjoy some of this money as it's coming on out. And, you know, that might be a way to get out that.

[00:06:34]

James is with us in St. Augustine, Florida. Hi, James. Welcome to The Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Hey, what's up? Oh, well, I just I read Financial Peace and Total Money Makeover a few years ago and but never really got on board with doing everything exactly as is laid out. And then the beginning of this month, my wife and I decided we were going to we're going to do it. I jumped on first and actually saw I was serious.

[00:07:02]

She she was all gung ho. We had other than what was already an account for bills, we had a dollar and fifty eight cents at that time. And within 15 days we had a thousand emergency fund and we're staring at thirty thousand for a little less than nine thousand in debt right now that we got to get out of. And our budget is bare minimum and already maxed out. She just had to go back to work to bring in more money.

[00:07:27]

And so we're looking at it. And I was trying to keep up the intensity and with no desire to slow down, I got to brainstorm what I could do. And I figured it up our house warehouse for right now, we're at probably 50 percent of our income is going towards our mortgage payment. And it's you for what it is. It's a great deal and everything. But for us, it's more than we can handle right now. Yeah, we've been making it for three years there, but I figured it up.

[00:07:56]

And if I sold the house, I have equity and we could sell for three hundred thousand. I have some friends who have a trailer not too far from us that they rent out for a double, like they went out for like eight hundred a month, which is extremely low. Everything else in our area, it's like two thousand a month. And I didn't realize until I was talking to was talking to these friends, they actually did financial peace and they're actually step seven.

[00:08:23]

They're done with a debt free and everything. Right. I'll tell you when we come back from this break, we'll get the rest of your details and make sure we give you a good, solid answer. Hang with me. This is the day, Ramsha. Around here, we're always looking for ways to save money. That's why I am a huge fan of Honey. Honey is a free online shopping tool that automatically finds the best promo codes and applies them to your cart.

[00:09:08]

You never have to open a tab to search for a discount again. Money is found. It's over 18 million members, over two billion dollars in savings. Add honey on your browser today for free at joint honey dot com slash Ramsey.

[00:09:39]

All right.

[00:09:39]

We're discussing with James in St. Augustine, Florida, has got a house payment, 50 percent of his take home pay. They just started their financial peace journey and his friend offered to let him sell his house and move into their trailer for eight hundred dollars a month. The friend was an FPO grad as well. That's a fair summary of what you told me so far. Pretty much. What's your household income? Household income is about forty one thousand. My wife just started working.

[00:10:09]

She mostly he'd been working, took some time off. She just started back. And so when she works a full year, I want to say six seventy two hundred that she brings in. She just works a couple of nights a week at home care nurse.

[00:10:25]

Seventy two hundred a year. Yeah, it's Yorke's like a couple of nights a week, it winds up being 50 a week that she that she takes home, OK, and she's a nurse.

[00:10:37]

Yes, sir. Yeah. She says she started doing that a while back just to make a little extra money, you know, to help out.

[00:10:46]

So how much is your house payment? The house payment with the actual payment is like nine hundred and twenty five bucks with a mortgage on the property taxes, it wants it up like fifteen hundred three dollars and fifty three cents. OK, so you're dropping at about five or 600 bucks now, is your wife staying at home because there's kids? Yeah, we have three kids, a four year old and three year old and one turns a year old and a couple of weeks.

[00:11:14]

Oh, you're in the trenches, James, the little ones that y'all are in the trenches with, the little ones, so.

[00:11:20]

Oh, yeah. And so the four year old's very opinionated and he's not totally on board with the House. So that's part of my.

[00:11:27]

I like the four year old four year old has something to say about this. Yeah. Mean, let me help you with this so you don't get a vote, OK?

[00:11:34]

He doesn't have a vote. So I'm trying to say, how do I go about being a benevolent dictator? We're just going to it's going to be an adventure.

[00:11:42]

We're moving. Pack your stuff. The house I have I could sell it for if I could get three hundred for it, which it's worth that I would listen for like three twenty and try to get three hundred. But if I did that I could pay off the twenty nine thousand dollars in debt. Plus I could after paying off my own house over one hundred seventy five on the house, pay that off plus one hundred and twenty nine. I mean the twenty nine rather that I have in debt besides the House.

[00:12:09]

Plus I could get six months all in the emergency fund, all in one shot and still be sitting on one hundred and ten for a down payment on another place. Mm hmm. Why don't you just do that. Why do you have to move to the trailer. Well, because I have to be somewhere in between, because I have to sell the house and have the money study on it, because, you know, in this area, no, you don't I don't know.

[00:12:31]

You put the house up for sale and you accept a contract on it and you go buy another one. My contention is contingent upon the closing of your house. OK, that's normal. It's done every day. You just need to move down and houses all Yeah. You could find something, James, in the area you want to be in or somewhere close to it, that is better than this trailer option that you would feel great about, that you could still afford, still pay off all the things you're saying.

[00:13:02]

It's just going to happen without moving to the trailer.

[00:13:04]

How long you been working on this plan? A month. OK, let's let's push pause here, OK? You don't need to sell your house right now. I'm not sure that this is all that's going on.

[00:13:19]

So you're just you're just thrashing around in a brand new set of enthusiasms that you have.

[00:13:26]

So you may need to sell the house, but let's wait six months. Let's work the plan for six months. The other thing I'm seeing here is if your wife is a nurse, she can do a lot more hours and still do child care for herself. I still take care of her children. She can pick up three, 12 and really make a good living and do that on some weekends and stuff for a short period of time. And you guys clean up some of these messes.

[00:13:54]

I suspect if you clean up these messes and your income changes because she's working more than a couple of hundred and fifty dollars a month worth as a nurse, that means she's not working at all, then I think we rearrange and we look at her career track.

[00:14:09]

And again, if she has a desire to be full time mom, I'm not saying that's a bad thing.

[00:14:13]

The beautiful thing about being a nurse is there's a lot of different ways you can structure making some good money.

[00:14:18]

That's more than that around kids. Yes. And with kids and all that kind of thing. So that's exactly what I would do in this case. I would just wait a little bit and let's see how this works out. You know, after the first of the year, if you're still struggling and you haven't made any progress, which I would be surprised, you may want to sell the house and move down. But I think right now that's going to be premature.

[00:14:41]

So, hey, thanks. We appreciate it.

[00:14:44]

Open phones at eight eight two five five two two five. You jump in, we'll talk about your life and your money. Christy Wright is Ramsey personality co-host here on the air today. And up next is going to be Sarah. And Sarah is in New York City. Hi, Sarah.

[00:15:00]

How are you? Good. How are you? Better than we deserve. How can we help?

[00:15:06]

So I'm a really new listener, so thank you for having me on. I my question is more about my parents situation. So basically, a couple of years ago, my siblings and I kind of discovered that they had just like astronomical amount of debt and tried to help them. They ended up having to file bankruptcy. And it's still at the point where they're like especially my mom is resistant to doing the right thing and like cutting their spending and budgeting and making sure everything works so that they can get through this.

[00:15:43]

And my issue is more just the frustration and the stress and the anxiety of having to deal with that. And it's just wrecking my relationship with my parents. And like, every time I speak to them, it always comes back to this. And I can't even just sit down to dinner with them because I start to get, like, angry and upset. So that's sort of where we're at now.

[00:16:09]

I've got a question, Sara, is does it come does the conversation come back to this again and again? Because you're bringing it up because you really want them to change their behavior with money? Or are you all are the children, you and your siblings giving the money and bailing them out whenever they get in a tough spot?

[00:16:25]

It's both. It's both. So it's like we've helped them. I've helped with because I don't want to just give them cash because I know it will just disappear. I helped with bills, you know, like utility necessities, things that they need to pay. And then, you know, my siblings have helped out. So it's that. But it's also then we, like, forced them to join and like give access to their bank accounts so we could monitor it.

[00:16:52]

And then basically I go in that or my siblings go in that and we see all the still like shopping and things that caused the problem in the first place.

[00:17:01]

So it's like they're not. How old are they?

[00:17:06]

They're in their late seventies eat like close to 80.

[00:17:10]

Mm. Okay. Well I mean this has been going on for a long time, hadnot.

[00:17:19]

Yeah, so, you know, we found out about it three years ago, but clearly the amount that they had racked up was over like decades probably. And, you know, it took us a long time to even just get them to the point where they would be open and telling the truth, like I had to pull their credit report.

[00:17:39]

How long ago was that the account? That was a year. It was early. Twenty. Nineteen. Not that long. And that was. Yeah. And that was when when did you get on their bank accounts?

[00:17:53]

Around that time. So when that was the point where we're just like everybody, you guys are going to have to decide as a as a group.

[00:18:00]

The siblings are going to have to decide. Hopefully they can have fun as a group.

[00:18:03]

Are we going to completely take this over and run it for them or are we going to dust the dust, shake the dust off our boots and just let them be what they be? If I'm going to kill, if I'm in your shoes, if I'm going to continue to give them money, they are no longer having access to anything except the allowance that I give them and other parents.

[00:18:26]

Other than that, I become a parent as if they were mentally disabled. Yeah. And you were just going to care for them out of the money that they have coming in. And you can show them a statement where the money's going. And that means, mom, you get pocket money this much, dad, you get pocket money of that much. And no, you don't have access to anything else or you don't get any money, more money from me.

[00:18:48]

And I'm just going to have to watch you spiral into the wall. And that's what you're going to have to decide which one this middle ground is, what's killing all of you trying to do both. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. My co-host on The Dave Ramsey Show today, Kristy Wright Ramsey personality in the lobby on the debt free stage right here at Ramsey Solutions, Carl and Danielle are with us. Hey, guys. How are you?

[00:19:46]

Great. How are you? Fantastic. Welcome. What do you guys live? We're in Ohio, just a little bit west of Pittsburgh. Oh, fine.

[00:19:54]

Welcome to Nashville. Good to have you on all the way down here to do a debt free scream. Yes, sir.

[00:19:59]

Love it. How much have you paid off? Forty one thousand.

[00:20:02]

Neat. How long did that take? Nine months.

[00:20:06]

All right, man, you did it fast. And your range of income during that time last year, we made hundred twenty five thousand. In this year, we're scheduled about 150000.

[00:20:15]

Well done. Very cool. What are you going to do for a living? Oh, I'm a nurse. I work in a billing office.

[00:20:21]

OK, good. What kind of debt was the 41000? A tractor and a driveway. A tractor on a driveway.

[00:20:31]

Things were usually here on this stage. What's the tractor for?

[00:20:36]

So we built a house and we have like 25 acres. And he thought he needed to try to be able to finger point there.

[00:20:47]

The driveway was in a horrible location, so we had to make a better driveway, but we didn't have the funds to do that. So we ended up taking a loan out to make the driveway happen, OK, and use the tractor to do some of it.

[00:20:59]

Probably, yes. OK. All right. So what happened nine months ago that made you just say, all right, we got these two weird little debts, we're getting rid of them?

[00:21:08]

Well, actually, it started about 10 years ago.

[00:21:11]

And we like your program so much. We did it three times.

[00:21:14]

Oh, my God. Third time's a charm. Third time's a charm. Yeah. So originally we got married and I was at the library public library because we had no money to do anything else. And I was looking for a book on money and I thought, I have a book. And I thought Dave Ramsey said, Who's this guy? We'll look at this, take it home and Total money-MAKER read the book. And I was like, Oh, we got to try this.

[00:21:32]

We got to try this. And I got her on board. We did it and it was sixty seven thousand dollar debt initially. And then I fell off the wagon. She said strong. We took in some more debt, just vehicle that stupid that we paid all of that off.

[00:21:48]

And then we went back into debt again and I fell off the wagon again.

[00:21:52]

I bought a tractor. She was driving. So what are we going to do to keep you all the way? That I can't pay for doing a little seatbelt. Bitcoin's one year coin, five year coins.

[00:22:04]

So are you done this time?

[00:22:05]

Yes, we're done. We actually we drove down in a car that we paid cash for. That's a good thing.

[00:22:10]

Awesome.

[00:22:10]

Yes, I think I think this time, honestly, we you know, we were doing this whole debt free like so many times and we went to build a house because we thought that was going to make us happy. And, you know, I get on Pinterest too much and I thought I could have a Pinterest house. And, you know, we had a certain income and I kind of threw some little fits. And we end up building the house that we thought was going to make us happy.

[00:22:38]

And and we are happy with it. We love our house. But we had all this we accrued all this debt and there was a point in my life and like our marriage was starting to get a little rocky. I don't know. I don't know what happened because we've always been best friends. And I didn't know I wasn't happy. And I remember driving to work one day and I just felt the lowest point in my life. And I'm like, we have everything we wanted, but we're not happy.

[00:23:06]

And I dropped my phone in between the console of my car in the seat. And I shouldn't have been driving Degerman for my phone, but I was.

[00:23:14]

And I pulled out the CD from, like FPO from a long time ago. And I'm like, where did this come from? And I remember this flood of emotions come over me.

[00:23:25]

And I'm like, wow, like. If we would have done things right, we wouldn't be here like I just felt like hopeless, like why did we do this? And I put in the city and I think it was like lesson for about Gizelle intensity. And I'm pretty sure I cried on the way to work. So I get home and I'm scrambling through our garage because we still haven't unpacked completely yet. And I found the whole case of all the CDs, but I was missing the first three because just like money, you don't want people stuff because you don't get it back.

[00:23:59]

So I happened to get on line to like, look you up to see how I could get those first three CDs because I needed to do it again. And while I'm on your site, I realize I'm like, well, who's this Rachel Cruise person and who's this Chris Hogan guy? So I was looking I went to the library and it was when I read Rachel Kruse's book like that changed my life. I realized that I was chasing the wrong things.

[00:24:29]

I thought the house is going to make me happy. I thought, you know, I needed all these nice clothes and I needed to have the perfect house. But what's important is my family and God and, you know, our life. And it's not the stuff.

[00:24:44]

So we like sort everything. I mean, we haven't had a kitchen table for we finally got our kitchen table.

[00:24:51]

We haven't had one for like four years. And we were like is so intense. And it was in that time I realized it wasn't the stuff making us happy. So we did nothing. The beans and rice was like. We didn't even have beans in our eyes. It was just for us. We did a lot of hiking.

[00:25:12]

I was hiking and running. And when I read that book and we started to come together and realize we don't need this stuff, we just need each other and to get right so we can live the life that we want to live and inspire others. It was in that moment and then I read Chris Hoggins book and I crunched some numbers because I'm kind of the nerd here. And I was like, holy cow, we can probably be millionaires by the time we're 40.

[00:25:38]

Yeah, we can do. It's going to be hard and we still have to kind of live a simple life. But it's it's doable. So, I mean, those goals, I think you have to have goals that are bigger than you thought. Like, you have to believe you can do anything. We live in a beautiful country that you can come from nothing. Because we did come from nothing. We're making something of ourselves. Hey, man.

[00:26:03]

So love your life. Not there. Exactly. I love you.

[00:26:06]

I love Rachel Cruz. She's amazing. That's cool. She is.

[00:26:10]

It's so cool to see how your situation didn't change. You changed. Yeah. And that's what changed the situation. I thought if I could change the house, change the change the car, change these, you know, different factors. And they didn't change. You did. Yeah, it changed everything. It changed everything. That's really cool. Yeah. Well done, you guys. Yeah.

[00:26:24]

OK, what's your son's name and how old is he? Aiden. And he's ten. All right.

[00:26:29]

So what are you guys now that you've done it and how you're going to how you got out of that and how you're going to stay on the wagon, what are the secrets?

[00:26:37]

I think just honestly stop in the rat race that we do in America and, you know, simplicity like just love the simple things and be humble because when you have nothing, you realize when you get stuff how much more enjoyable it is, just contentment and little victories.

[00:26:59]

If you try to pay off 67000 dollars for 41000, that's insurmountable. But if you could do it, you know, 500 dollars here, a thousand dollars here, it's definitely doable. Small victories make big wars. Yeah, I mean, awesome.

[00:27:11]

I mean, well done, you guys. I'm proud of you. Thank you. Very well done. I'm sure Rachel is as well. Good stuff. Good stuff. We've got a copy of Chris's other book for you every day, millionaires. And I guess you've got that one already. So we'll get you a different one if you want something else, whatever you want as your gift here for being with us. And we're very proud of you. All right.

[00:27:30]

It's Carl and Danielle and Aiden from just west of Pittsburgh.

[00:27:34]

Forty one thousand dollars paid off in nine months, making 125 to 150. This is the last time I count it down.

[00:27:43]

Let's hear a debt free scream. A three to one word.

[00:27:55]

I love it, I love it. That's amazing. Very few people win at something as a linear projection.

[00:28:08]

Most of the time there's some ups and downs and sometimes the downs are even a complete falling off the wagon.

[00:28:13]

Yeah, we see this in business all the time. People think it's just going to be this perfect path to success. It's like it's a roller coaster. It's peaks, it's valleys. It's holding on by your fingernails sometimes. But you know what I heard in her voice that was so interesting when she talks about this time she got in her spirit, not just in her head. She got it in her spirit and her heart, and that changed her.

[00:28:29]

That's the permanent change. That's right. That's transformation versus change. That's right. Yeah. There's a difference. Very good. Proud of you guys. Very, very well done. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Christy Wright Ramsey personality joins us as our co-host today here on The Dave Ramsey Show. Rebecca is next in Rebecca in California. Hi, Rebecca. How are you?

[00:29:47]

Hi, Rebecca. Hi, Rebecca. Oh, my gosh. Hi, Dave. Hi. Thank you for taking my call.

[00:29:53]

Well, how can we help?

[00:29:55]

So I'm calling because my husband showed up last week from work and he says that he wants to buy a five thousand dollar guy. We we just got out of that. We handed him the fleece, purchased our first car cash. And we are talking about money piling up money to buy a house. And I have the dream killer now because he doesn't think that he should be able to buy this five thousand dollar guy. So I just wanted to get both of your point of view on on this.

[00:30:29]

So you're out of debt, you have your emergency fund and you would have the 5000 beyond that, but it would come out of your down payment fund for your house. I'm understanding you, right? Correct.

[00:30:39]

Yes. We have about seventy two thousand dollars saved, but we're still we live in California, so it costs a lot to buy a house here. So that's just scratching the surface of of of buying a house. You probably need to save more along the lines of one hundred and fifty for a 20 percent down on a home here. Mm hmm. OK, yeah.

[00:31:01]

What's your household income? We make about one hundred and forty five thousand dollars a year between my husband and I.

[00:31:09]

And is there anything unique about this particular purchase? I mean, it's a custom gun, and he's sort of new to the he's sort of new to it all, he has a few that he's purchased. But I mean, it just we've been like Gizelle intense for the past year and a half. And so I'm feeling a little a little like, hey, that's all very good to buy. Five thousand dollars. And what about my five thousand dollar bags or, you know, we've really been.

[00:31:36]

We really, really bad Valentine's Day, so it just kind of off to I felt like I was still in the middle of trying to buy a house, right?

[00:31:45]

Well, you're at the stage that you would buy items if you wanted to, but it's it's just so fresh off the back of the debt snowball that it feels weird.

[00:31:55]

I'm sure it does. So, you know, I think if you came in and said, I want to buy a 5000 are Louis Vuitton, he might have a double back flip, Woody.

[00:32:08]

I think so. I mean. Well, OK. So I post it back to him and I said, well, what about you know, I'm not a bad person. I'm the bad guy. I just want to you know, I really want a house. That's really what I want. So I'm like, know you're setting back our goals by you wanting to buy this gun. I mean, we could probably say five thousand dollars. And you want of Cash-Flow the gun you had, you had the five thousand dollars.

[00:32:32]

Now, it would just you'd put it back in the seventy two thousand, right?

[00:32:36]

We do. We do. We do. So that's not the issue. But the issues just matter of priorities. Which one. So here's what Sharon and I learned. We decided it's not. No, it's just which one comes first.

[00:32:50]

Mm hmm. So we got in an argument like this about the time we were at the same place you were, she was driving a God awful nasty old blue Astro van with 900 million miles on it. You know, the two tone blue ones like redneck, ugly, you know what I'm talking about.

[00:33:05]

And if you're driving one out there, I'm sorry, but we're redneck. Ugly when we had one to so and it was newer back then. So she's driving that and she wants to upgrade to a suburban she's got a house full of kids. And, you know, we're off the back end of this bankruptcy stuff. We're starting to make some money. And I'm like, you know, 20000 bucks or whatever the stinking thing was. I can I can do a lot of work at the office for that.

[00:33:28]

And I was wanting to do some investing and stuff here at Ramsey, and she's wanted to buy this car. And so, you know, we got in this big thing about it. And what we finally sat down, figure it out was it's just a matter of when. Yeah. And so she got the car first and then as soon as that was done, then I'd got to do the investing at the office. But it wasn't like we said, you know, you can do one but can't do the other.

[00:33:51]

Right.

[00:33:51]

Or there's something evil or wrong about buying a 5000 Orgun.

[00:33:54]

That would be really hypocritical on my part because I own several, but the one I carry on my hip is about that. So but the.

[00:34:04]

So, I mean, I'm I'm I'm sympathetic with him, but I'm also sympathetic with you. And I will tell you sometimes when I get a thousand dollar gun, it does cost me a little bit Louis Vuitton occasionally.

[00:34:13]

But you make it's a good it's a good trade off, but that's that's way late. Maybe step seven game. Right.

[00:34:19]

So I think you guys just need to talk through, you know, are you're willing to wait on other luxury purchases to get the house? This is a luxury purchase is all it is, and which in and of itself is not evil.

[00:34:33]

Rebecca, is he the spender? He is the spender.

[00:34:37]

He loves to spend. And I've sort of been that he was the one with the Wheatus all the is all the stuff. So.

[00:34:43]

Yeah, so so the reason I'm going back we're going back earlier. Yeah.

[00:34:48]

Well it's because you have a little bit of money and I'll tell you, I'm the spender in my marriage. And as soon as we had our emergency fund and started to save up some money, when you have a little money, if you're the spender like I got it, what's the big deal like? It's very tempting to get more careless because you have a little bit like Dave said, this purchase is not evil. It's not a bad thing. But I think for him, he's looking at the savings count going, well, I've got the money, what's the big deal?

[00:35:10]

But you're looking at it from a goals perspective priority. I wonder if there's almost a compromise to kind of, like Dave said, not the necessary bag for gun trade right now, but does it have to be nothing or a 5000 dollar gun or could he get you said he's new to guns. Maybe he could get a five hundred dollar gun. There's cool guns for five hundred dollars are not dollars. That wouldn't set you back so much. That would scratch that.

[00:35:29]

It's already got some of those. There's a I want my limit on my work man. If not. If not, if not, then I think you have that conversation about, like you said, what comes first and priorities, because to you, you're looking at it as this is going to set you back. But he's looking at it like, hey, we've got the money. What's the big deal here?

[00:35:49]

Here's the good part of the whole discussion. A, you're discussing it. B, you're going to pay cash for whatever you do and you're going to be in agreement, if you can continue on that pattern, you will be successful with money regardless. And so it could be that you're saying that, you know, I'd like to go on a 5000 hour trip.

[00:36:09]

Well, I will be OK and delay the house down payment by 5000 hours. So that would be OK to that's back when people traveled. You remember those days.

[00:36:17]

And so I would say cruise, but we would all laugh out loud right now. And so but as an example, you know, you could spend that 5000 dollars a lot of different ways.

[00:36:26]

But in any of those cases, it would be OK. But you're choosing to delay your house by that little bit amount when you do that.

[00:36:33]

So one one last idea is I would either say wait until after the house, but maybe to say, you know, when we get to, you know, we're 72 now, we need 150 is our goal.

[00:36:46]

When we get to X between now and 150, maybe we stop there and you have a splurge and he has a splurge and then we re-engage the house thing or something like that. You know, maybe there's a couch that you want to buy. I don't know whatever it is, because none of those things at your stage are out of line with what we teach their wise purchases. They're fine purchases. It's just a matter of what you want.

[00:37:10]

What you said is exactly right. What do you want? What does he want?

[00:37:14]

And the good news is we talk about it and certainly on an expensive thing like that, it's good to know who's the savior and spender, though, because when I went back to my marriage, Matt and I, I'm the spender. He's the saver. If Matt came to me and said, I want to buy 4000 Orgun, I wouldn't even question that purchase because he never he never wants to spend money. It's such a big deal when he does that.

[00:37:31]

That's such a out of character thing. It's such an exciting thing. Like, yeah, what's this purchase? Let's let's, you know, make sure we've got the savings and so on. But for me, I have to know my temptation, which is usually to rein it in because I'm the spender. So, you know, you're part of the discussion too.

[00:37:44]

You know, it's a good thing to say out loud, look, I'm just tightwad. And so I'm the no person, the dream killer. I don't want to be that person. But you also don't want to be the spender that runs us back into the hole we just got out of. Yeah, because a lot of those purchases were you.

[00:37:58]

And when you bring this pattern to me, it scares me. Yeah.

[00:38:01]

And that's a fair thing to say. Yeah. To know what your weak spots are. Yeah.

[00:38:04]

And so, you know, Sharon and I have had those discussions because I'm the spender and she would say, you know, when you're doing this or acting this way, it's reminding me of back when we went bankrupt. Yeah. And it's it like opens up that wound. Yeah. You know, and so I just have that discussion.

[00:38:19]

Just talk about it out loud.

[00:38:21]

Then you can walk through and come up with plans to get some stuff, you know, whether whether it's a couch, a gun, a purse, a trip, I don't care.

[00:38:30]

Or a house. Not all of those things are proper. There's not like you're an absolute idiot for doing one of those others. It's not this is the stage that you would do those things, but only when you both feel good about it.

[00:38:41]

And honestly, Rebecca, you might be more concerned about his pattern of spending than you are this actual purchase. It might be bothering that it's looking like it did before, like they were sharing. So good. Good discussion. Thank you for calling in. This is the day Ramsay chef.

[00:39:09]

Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Dave Ramsey Show. This episode is over, but if you heard about an event, product or service, it didn't have a chance to write it down. Don't worry. We list everything you've heard about during this episode in the podcast, Shout Outs or head to Dave Ramsey Dotcom. Thanks for listening.

[00:39:26]

Money isn't the only thing we talk about around here. Get life changing advice on your career from my good friend and career expert Ken Coleman. Oh, my Ken Coleman show. According to a recent Gallup poll, nearly 70 percent of Americans are disengaged at work. If you dread going into work every Monday morning and you're just trying to make it to the weekend, the Ken Coleman show is for you. Everyone has a sweet spot. Your sweet spot is at the intersection of your greatest talent and greatest passion.

[00:39:56]

We will help you discover what it is you were born to do, and then we'll help you create a plan to make your dream job a reality. You matter and you have what it takes. Join the conversation on the Ken Coleman show. Hear more from the Ramsey network, including the Ken Coleman Show. Wherever you listen to podcasts.

[00:40:16]

Hey, it's James, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. This episode is over, but check the episode notes for links to products and services you've heard about during this episode.

[00:40:24]

Thanks for listening.