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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollars Car Rental Studios. It's the Dave Ramsey Show where debt is Dham, Cash is king and the paddleboat mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. It's common sense for your dollars and cents, godson, grandma ways of handling money.

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The only thing we are sure of is that common sense is just not that common anymore. Matter of fact, it's a highly rated talk radio show.

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So we're here to talk with you about your life and your money. Dr. John Boloney, Ramsey personality, my co-host on the air today on the Dave Ramsey Show. So you're going to get intelligence and wit and humor.

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It all goes on one handsome package that someone unbelievably handsome package.

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You know, people have used a lot of people have used a lot of words to describe me over the years and unbelievably handsome has never been to put together.

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I always get I got a face for radio. But anyway, triple eight eight two five five two two five is the number. It is a free call.

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Some say the advice is worth what you pay for it. Triple eight, eight to five five two to five. Starting off this hour in Omaha, Nebraska, is Elizabeth. Hi, Elizabeth.

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How are you? I feel like the lucky number caller. Well, we'll see when you're done. How are you?

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I'm so great and so happy that Dr. John Delaney is part of your team. He's amazing with you.

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Well, thank you. He said he heard that. So be careful. And, hey, I've got your vidro on the way. I'm going to get you paid up.

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No. All right. So my husband and I are recently on baby steps three good and approaching baby steps for I just feel like 15 percent of our income. It is a lot to invest, we take home about six thousand dollars a month and 15 percent of that is nine hundred dollars a month in our mortgage is fifteen hundred dollars a month. So maybe we're house four. And that's why I feel like that's too much money to be investing. Is it OK to invest less?

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Well, the math work that if you invest less, you'll have less. And so if you invest more, you'll have more, obviously, and your mortgage is at 25 percent of your take home pay. So it's OK, I would suggest you try it.

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Because we've worked with millions of families and sometimes people feel like that's a pinch. Sometimes people feel like it's not enough and they want to do more.

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And so that and that, of course, starves them from the ability to do other things with the remaining money in terms of generosity or purchasing things for the family and those kinds of things. But I would give it a run.

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The the all the years of doing this, it has shown me that you start saving 900 bucks a month or your income goes up. We'll call it a thousand dollars a month later. You're going to have so much money later in life. That you can retire with dignity and completely change your family tree, and that's the reason that we do that. But, you know, it's new. Here's what's weird, when you went back in baby step two, you probably had payments equivalent to the 900 and weren't thinking anything about those, the adding up of your student loan, your car payment, those kinds of things, your credit card payments, just probably not even anything about that.

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But now that it's investing, it feels like strenuous, like you're taking something from your today.

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Like you're somehow. Taking good times out of your day, I don't understand it, I don't understand the well human nature to enjoy the moment. Yeah, YOLO is human nature. That's right. That's right.

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Have you found over the years it's easier day when you're working with families that it's easier to. Out of sight. Out of mind it. Yes. Or do you need to feel that pain a little bit every month?

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No, I want to I want the autopilot. OK, I want it like that's one reason the for one case Brillion it comes out your check for you can get it. There you go. Or you know, if you set your Roth IRA up to be automatically drafted from your checking account, it's I've got I still do that.

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You know, I trick myself into discipline in the sense that I probably wouldn't sit down and physically write out a check and mail it every month.

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Right. Right. That would get today particularly. That'd be weird.

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But even in years past when that was more normal, anything there's an auto draft protects you from yourself, has a tendency to continue to do it.

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And, you know, if you live like no one else, later you get to live and give like no one else.

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The whole purpose of this is not just to get out of debt, it's to get out of debt so that you change your family tree, so that you retire with dignity, so that you can put yourself in a position to be outrageously generous. Adam is in Tucson. Hey, Adam, what's up?

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Hey, Dave, thank you for taking my call. Sure. How can we help? So my mother unexpectedly passed away.

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I'm sorry to hear that, ma'am. Yeah, bad things happened, but she was set up for life insurance. Seven hundred and fifty thousand, and I'm her only child that it's going to. I'm curious about how my wife and I go about investing that. We have one rental property right now. And I would like to go further into real estate. It's kind of any direction would be great. So you're the beneficiary on the life insurance and you're receiving the entire 750000.

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Yes. OK. When did she pass away from. Say that again, when did she pass away? She passed away before July. My goodness. Just the other day. But I'm sorry, brother number one, it's OK to make decisions while while we're it's OK to not make big decisions.

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In matter of fact, it's preferable to not make big decisions while we're grieving. And so it's OK to park this money for a period of time and kind of get the lump out of your throat. Kind of the you know, you're driving along the road and you suddenly just start crying, kind of get past those things that the initial waves of the grief, because you might not be making real clear decisions during that time.

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So I kind of use two things to answer this type of question. One is, obviously, I'm going to tell you to walk up whatever baby steps that are remaining in this process. Do you have any debt at all? No, I we're debt free, but currently renting as we're kind of in a transition stage.

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You owe money on the rental property that you own. No, it's paid for. Yes, OK. And you have zero debt. All right, well, I would make sure I had an emergency fund in place. I would earmark a small portion of this money to enjoy and do something nice for you and your wife. I would earmark another portion of the money to just do something in your mom's memory as a gift or something that she a ministry or whatever, that she would feel good about you doing that.

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And then you can decide the amount. I don't think it has to be a big amount, but I just want you to have that exercise.

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I would set aside a chunk of this money to pay cash for your first home.

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And then I would begin to talk about with the rest of it, buying rental property that I pay cash for, but that I don't go into debt, all of those things can go slow and there's no rush. The second liens I use is when you're doing any of those activities, ask yourself if when you're doing that, would your mom be smiling? I love it. And if she would be smiling, then you are honoring her legacy. You're honoring her memory with the use of the money that came to you with her untimely passing.

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That's why I recommend them to you. Call 800 356 42 82 or visit Xander Dotcom.

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The very first time I ever spoke after I wrote the book financial piece and I had some actual books, the little blue books, and they were at the back of the table, back table after I finished talking at the Kiwanis Club or whatever it was with my overhead projector, I walked back there a ladies reading through the book and she says, Oh, why don't they teach this in schools, what they teach us in high school? Well, guess what we do.

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I've been asked that question since the very first day we started this business. And so now in about 30 are about 48 percent of the high schools. Our Ramsey Solutions, financial foundations, foundations in personal finance are taught is taught. Now, here's the thing. We also want to help you get prepared on the self study basis, so we got your back with a fully digital self study courses, your teen is going to know the right way to handle money.

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This is like the home school edition.

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And some of you are homeschooling like of other homes to do. But now we are right.

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The drinking starts at 9:00 a.m. Eight teachers drunk and two students get expelled by noon. Yeah, so homeschooling is there.

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So Dave Ramsey, dot com slash self study. And we've got courses available for your high school, your middle school, and you can make sure your kids are prepared because listen, parents, you don't teach your kids how to handle money. They will live in your basement till they're 30.

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They will learn it from their neighbors. Yeah, for real. Eight eight two five five two two five.

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Annie is with us and Annie is in Albuquerque. Hi, Annie. How are you?

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Hi, Dave. Hi, John. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. How can we help? OK, so I have a sister who is in her 30s and she had a kid when she was 21 years old and she's been a bartender for about the last seven years before covid. And for the last several years, my sister has been taking money from our father and grandmother and they fund several parts of her life. For example, she's never had a car payment.

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Both my dad and my grandmother have both purchased cars for her. And so she's never really had to make any effort to improve her lifestyle. And she'll say that she's going to do things and then she doesn't follow through. And so my question is more about I'm starting to feel resentment toward my sister because I feel like she's taking advantage of our family. They don't really have the financial means to be helping with these situations. And they've been bailing her out of her situation financially for years.

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And I just want to know how I should proceed with a relationship with her. Have you ever talk to you about. I feel this way. Have you ever talk to her?

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Know I have talked to my dad about it. Well, my grandma is way or. Yes. To talk to her.

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Hold on a second. How can you ever talk to your sister about it?

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Um, well, we had a falling out. We are just now starting to talk again. We had a falling out because she had made some pretty bad relationship decisions with significant other and I didn't support it. Yeah, it was a very abusive situation and I didn't know what to do. So I just said I don't I don't know what to do here.

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And so this is one of those family conversations. It sounds a lot more complex in reality than it really is. The reality is you don't have a lot of power in this situation.

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And so what you can control is the boundaries you want to set up and the conversations you want to have. Other than that, your mom and dad, your dad and grandma, I'll get to decide how they spend their grown up money. And your grown up sister gets to decide if she wants to continue to leech off other people or if she wants to get her life together. The choices you have are to have a hard conversation with your dad and your grandma and say, I think you're being taken advantage of by a sister.

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And that's about as far as that conversation can go.

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And then you can have a hard conversation with your sister and say, I don't like how you're treating grandma and and dad. Other than that, you get to choose where you want to carry around a bunch of resentment and frustration.

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And because that pain is in your heart, that's not on anybody else that you're choosing. It's almost willfully choosing to wake up everyday. Frustrated, right. What do you think, Dave?

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Yeah, well, you're exactly right. One of the hardest things in our lives is when there are adults that we love that are being stupid and you can't keep them from being stupid.

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There's no longer stupid. Stupid is not illegal. And it's in almost every family, by the way, like every family. And so some put the fun in dysfunction.

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But I mean, it's but, you know, it's just it's hard it's hard to watch people you love.

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So the only way you possibly can do any good with your sister is just say, I think you could have a better life than you have.

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And it breaks my heart that your life is not good and it's not good because of some of the choices you're making. And and I would love to walk with you and spiritually disciple you, whatever, on making some different choices and cutting the ties where you're being supported as a grown woman by mom and dad and grandma. And if I can help you with that, I love you.

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And I think you can do I think you can do better.

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And I think you're going to have a better life and talk make it about her doing better rather than how bad she is.

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And go ahead.

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And do you do you want to have a relationship with your sister or do you want her to stop?

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Yes. Yes. Or so badly. So you don't have one now, are you have you have a broken one now, right? Yes, sir. We're reconnecting now.

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So really, what I'm going to recommend a great way to heal a relationship is not to come out with somebody letting them know they need to make a bunch of life changes and they need to fix some stuff that you don't like. Sometimes the best way to start and repair and rebuild a relationship is to say, I love you. How are you? How you been? How can I help you? I've missed you. How can I help you and just start there.

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And true life change comes through relationship. It comes through connection, not through somebody's barking orders at you. And so I'm going to recommend if you want to.

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And the reason I ask that question is some people just want their sister to quit taking their future inheritance. They just want their dad to start getting taken advantage of. That's different than man. I miss my sister and I love her and I want to reconnect with her. Those are two different processes and two different approaches. But when I say call her direct and say, I love you, let's get together and I'm going to start from there.

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You know, far as your dad goes, if you do want to have another conversation, it could sound like this. Dad, you're an enabler, mom. You're bringing harm to someone, so. By helping them because all of her character muscles have atrophied, and so because here's the thing, your dad, your grandma, I know about enablers.

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One thing I know about all of them is they're the nicest people.

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And they love deeply. They just they just love they just want to be helpful.

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And if he can if he can become convinced that he's actually doing harm, which he is, rather than helping, then he will suddenly grow a backbone and introduce a new word. No.

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All right. Because he is doing harm to your sister.

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And as a dad, if he ever gets that, he'll stop it. But as enablers all feel like they're helping. Oh, I can't. I could never. Oh, my child. I could never. They could never.

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And they say things like that with always whisper in their voice. Don't talk.

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Don't. Yeah. You don't talk about the breath ear. It is the most dramatic. It is. Yeah. It has to be. Oh they would be homeless. The the grandchild would be a gift for my grandchild out on the street.

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Right. It's like as if she wouldn't get her butt in gear and get a job and probably figure this out.

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We'll figure it out. That's right. You know, so as if you are the sole barrier between your grandchild and homelessness. Right. Homelessness.

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Well, and I also know enablers who they love to be needed and they love to play that role of support and care.

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Sometimes that's that's they need to look in the mirror on their own selves. Right. Because if my daughter does go get a job, she does start supporting her kid on her own, then who am.

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I am I'm not necessary anymore.

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I'm not as valuable as I once was. And that's a lie, too.

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When you're participating in funding someone's insanity, you are bringing them harm. That's right. Well, it's the equivalent of giving a drunk a drink. That's exactly right. Well, that's tough love.

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No, darling, that's just love, right? Love is making grown ups grow up.

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So I've got two young kids and I know about this intellectually. What do you've got?

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Grown ups, real grown kids.

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What do you tell yourself when they if they were to come back and say, hey, I need some support, if they have an emergency situation, we would help them.

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All right. But it's not a pattern.

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I love it. The pattern is the problem. It's not a one off kid needs to move back home. That's fine. You know, a safety net is OK. A hammock is not OK. I look at that.

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This is the Dave Ramsey Show.

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Dr. John Maloney, my co-host today on The Dave Ramsey Show Ramsey personality, we're here to answer your questions about your life and your money. Jeffrey and Marcio are with us from California to do their debt free scream. What's up, guys?

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Dave, are you doing. Good to have you guys. How much have you paid off?

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So sixty two thousand six hundred and sixty nine dollars in 13 months.

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Yes. Congratulations, guys. Loving and your range of income during the 13 months was 110 to 140 for.

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Nice jump in one year. What do you guys do for a living?

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So I'm in the Air Force. I'm a C17 pilot. I've been in since 2001 and I'm 18. I'm a professional model. So I do everything from print to runway to Ekom.

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And a funny story, Dave, is I actually worked with lines dot com, and I thought, how cool would it be to tell Dave once we do our debt free scream that I worked with them and they've just put your picture up and that I ad on YouTube.

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So you YouTube are seeing it and people look deeply into your radio. You can see the picture.

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OK, that's so cool. That's so great. That is so cool. Was that an agency thing hook up or just ran a random agency thing and it just happened to be.

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Yes, it was an agency connection. It's one of the clients. Wow. That is so cool. Fun, fun, fun. And we just saw the picture come by. You guys got four kids now. What ages. Yeah.

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So the boys are three and five and then the girls are eight and nine who are in it right now. This is the kind of guy that was the 63000.

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So we had to cast some student loans and consumer debt. So normal credit card.

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Normal living. Mhm. So you're kind of normal. Yeah. Normal people know and and check the check.

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So what happened. What was the wake up call.

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So I'm, I was approaching close to retirement time and you know we when, when I commission of course, you know, more income came in and we always thought, you know, one of the next things to get better and then know put on captain and, you know, increase in pay and things are sort of saying, you know, kind of check the check billing. And, you know, I was you know, retirement is around the corner and I would love to get out without any type of financial stress.

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And then so we actually sat down and we looked at where we couldn't figure out where is our money going. And so we printed out everything, all of our statements. And I noticed that even after buying groceries, I spent four to five hundred dollars in one week at Publix. And so that was a big wake up call where we said, OK, we need to sit down and really look at this deeper. And that was it. The straw that broke the camel's back, I guess.

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OK, so when you start paying attention, it was like, oh, crap, this has got to change. Absolutely. And how'd you connect to us?

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So when I commission a former commander of mine across the board, he flew in and he commissioned me. And one of his gifts to me was your book Total Money Makeover. And, you know, unfortunately, I was you know, we're getting married about the coming to a lot of new money and it became a decoration in the house.

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So that's nice. Usually it's just a coaster coaster. Right.

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And, you know, we had when we sat down and we had this conversation, I remember the conversation with him. And then we went and picked up the book, started reading it, and then it was it was game on from there.

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OK, all right. So. So. Michiyo, she says, we got to fix this and, you know, I think there's a book here somewhere. Yeah. All right, I got it.

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Well done, you guys. So it was as simple as the Total Money Makeover book led you to do it or show you how it started the drive.

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And then, you know, we got Gizelle and I started, you know, I'm on my time off. I would deliver groceries, deliver food, deliver stuff, Wal-Mart. I mean, just fine every way to just increase the income to throw at it. And then Michelle started taking every modeling gig that they would agency would throw at her if she was traveling all over. And that's how the increase in income jumped, because we just buckle down and, you know, tighten the budget.

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And just whenever that intentional.

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How did your marriage change when you all got together, started making these plans and you started following a road map together? Tell you what it was.

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It was it gave us this entire new team dynamics. It was a thing we're talking about. Money was no longer stressful. It was fun. We put ourselves on a clear path together. It gave us something to work towards. It gave us a connected goal. And it's just been great ever since. So now all the money conversations with great conversations because we now know exactly where we're headed financially. Very cool.

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What do you tell people? The secret to getting out of debt is being intentional, is being intentional, going after it's setting the goals, setting the big goals for the smaller steps that you have to take to get there aren't as hard or doesn't seem as insurmountable. And, you know, I enjoyed it so much that I became a financial coach. So I'm one of your aapc. Wow. I'm leading Financial Peace University here on Travis Air Force Base.

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So anybody listening on base, we're going to do a virtual one here soon. And it's you know, it's all about giving back now. You know, this has changed our lives for the better. And with this new knowledge, everything that I can do specifically to the military community, it's just been great. Wow.

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Well, thank you for doing that, because we as you know, we love the military around here. We do a lot of work with you guys. And for you to have that base, there are that classic virtual class going on this base is pretty incredible.

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Way to go, guys. So the kiddos, were they into it?

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Oh, yeah. Yeah. They actually I went through the smart money, smart kids, and we actually purchased the materials and implemented that with the older ones and then now the five year old. And so they have their envelopes and they, you know, keep track of their own finances. And it's pretty fun to see them just learning and growing along with us. That's fun.

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So you're not just getting out of debt, you're changing the every fire legacy of your family?

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Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. And they're going to get married and have kids that don't even know what debt is and don't know about owing somebody money. And they're going to have this whole other layer of free life because of the work you guys put in.

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Well done. Yeah. Hey, man. Touchdown, baby. This is so great. You guys are incredible. You're heroes. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you.

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I think we've got a copy of Chris Hogan's book for you every day millionaires, because that's for sure. The next chapter in your story. You are on your way. What a power couple right here, man. This is pretty incredible. You guys are awesome. All right.

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And the kids names are what are they going to scream with you? Are they there?

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Yeah, they're I hear it already. What are their names again? Jeffrey, Jeffrey and Roman.

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And Penny and Shelley. All right.

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And Jeffrey, Senior and Michiyo. I'm going to I'm going to mess this up, I'm afraid. All right.

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Sixty three thousand dollars paid off and thirteen months making one, two and a 144 countdown counted down.

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Zero debt free scream. Three to one would No. Boo boo boo. That's so awesome. You know, there's very few times in life you can hear a metaphor. Yeah.

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And when you hear those little chipmunk voices, you are hearing a family tree change you.

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Yeah, you are hearing it.

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We talk about the concept in the metaphor of I'm going to change my family tree might change the destiny of the ones that come after me. I don't do that. When those little voices are screaming like that and they're plugged in with smart money, smart kids and mom and dad have committed to this stuff and mom and dad are teaching this stuff. This thing has changed. This is a permanent transformation.

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And it's not only about money because they got to see mom and dad sit down at a table and work together and have discussions and disagreements and then realize, oh, wait a minute, they disagree, but they still love each other and they're still on the same team and they still circle back up the next week in the next week. And that becomes a change in your DNA.

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That becomes a change in every part of your life. And that's they're going to treat their bosses differently. They're going to date differently. They're going to do everything differently. Their brain chemistry is different.

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Everything about these changes, if I've watched goals be accomplished, the kids, they've watched mom and dad do healthy conflict for excellent sake and circle back and say we still love each other.

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They've watched, they've watched and then they've watched and then they participate in the win. Because when that 12 year old is 32, I remember being on the radio. Oh, yeah. Well, 17 million people hearing him right. Scream and he'll be bummed out here to yell because he never wasn't.

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Yeah. And but there's no chance. No chance they're going to. Oh yeah. That's so cool. This is how it works. Boys and girls. This is the day Ramsey Show. Thank you for joining us, America. We're so glad you're with us, Dr. John Boloney Ramsey personality is my co-host on the air today here on The Dave Ramsey Show. Nancy is with us.

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Nancy's and why can I not push the button? All right. Let me try again. Nancy is in Los Angeles. Hi, Nancy. How are you? I don't see how are you? Better than I deserve. How can we help? I would like to more my son has I have his money parked in the credit union. He has a hundred dollars on the CB and he has five hundred and thirty dollars on the regular savings account. He would like to know if I could put out his money Robinhood app, invest in the account.

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No, no, you're right. No. It does not need to mess with Robin Hood Dangereuses a cock gun, no, thank you.

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If he wants to do some investing, that's fine, but it's not about the actual results. Five hundred dollars is not going to give you actual results. It's more about learning about the investments. And so if he wanted to do a five hundred dollar investment in some mutual funds, sit down with a smart Vesterbro, let them teach him because he's obviously interested in that kind of thing, then, you know, they would help him.

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And there are a few mutual funds you can open for as little as five hundred dollars, and many of them are a thousand or 2500.

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But there's a couple of them. You can get in for 500 bucks, but it's not because that's going to make him a lot of money.

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It's because it's a teaching experience for him and he's obviously got an interest in that sort of thing.

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Truthfully, other than that, I would not do it. I would say 500 dollars is a good thing to start towards his car. 500 dollars is a good thing to start towards the insurance on the car he drives 500 dollars is a good thing to start thinking about college with those kinds of things rather than playing around. But Robin Hood is going to be single stock investing. And that's a really dumb idea. The lesson he's going to learn here is going to be pain.

[00:31:36]

Right.

[00:31:36]

And he's only 12. So that's why I figure I wouldn't do it. But I want your advice. I kind of already knew you were going to go now. Yeah, absolutely.

[00:31:45]

So, again, if he wants to sit down at 12 years old with a smart Vesterbro, that's fine from a learning perspective. But really, it's going to get fairly boring fairly fast once he makes the investment because mutual funds don't they're not something you look at every day that they don't go up and down.

[00:32:02]

There's not a lot of action. It's a little bit boring.

[00:32:07]

Really good investing is what do you tell somebody, Dave, who's had to find that balance between teaching a 12 year old or 13 or 14 year old about? There's a couple of of goals to save towards and enjoying money like you worked hard to make a couple of lawn's.

[00:32:23]

You need to give some of that away.

[00:32:25]

You need to save some of that. What's that balance?

[00:32:28]

Well, I mean, you can decide the balance, but the balance has to be that there is some meaning that that if you only save or you only give or you just blow it like or you only spend or you only spend, then you're you know, you're not that's just misbehaving.

[00:32:46]

And so the goal here when you're talking about teaching kids about money is not the actual results of the five hundred dollars. It's not that if the kid takes fifty dollars of that and blows it on something stupid, the goal is it doesn't damage his life permanently from a math standpoint.

[00:33:05]

But if he doesn't learn the lesson from having done something stupid with the money, then that sets a pattern up that he's still doing or she's still doing when they're 35. That's exactly right. And so we're going to spend and I'm going to let you do something dumb.

[00:33:19]

I'm going to tell you that, you know, if you if you'll save up a little more, you can get a toy that will last or you can buy the cheap one that'll be broken by Friday.

[00:33:27]

Right. And but I got to have it. OK, then when it breaks Friday, I do say I told you so, OK, because I want you to learn the lesson. Now, remember when Dad and you talked about this and I said this is going to be the result.

[00:33:40]

So now you're hold all the money you spent on the toys gone now because you bought the cheap one and it broke. And we talked about this and I'm not browbeating them or shaming them.

[00:33:48]

I want to make sure the lesson that A plus B equals. See, I want to I want to see that this is what this is the result of your actions, because my goal is to teach them to work, to give, to save and to spend wisely.

[00:34:01]

Before they leave home and then there's a high probability they can stay gone. This is the goal. Abigail is in Akron.

[00:34:11]

Hi, Abigail.

[00:34:11]

Welcome to The Dave Ramsey Show. Hello. Thank you guys so much for taking my call. Sure. What's up? OK, so it's kind of make a long story short.

[00:34:21]

I am 22 years old. I graduated with a degree in health science in May of twenty nineteen. However, I'm pursuing my second degree in nursing. It's an accelerated program, so I have 10 months left. I you know, following I don't fail. I'm supposed to graduate in May of twenty twenty one. Good. However, my boyfriend I've been dating this wonderful man for almost two years and he just graduated with a degree in accounting this past May.

[00:34:49]

Obviously it's a tough field right now to find jobs. So he doesn't have we're both still living at home. He's in Michigan. I'm in Ohio. We've been doing long distance. However, we both have goals to continue on with our schooling. I want to become a practitioner eventually. He wants to get a CPA. And I the expectation that I have, as I would like to be engaged before I graduate from the nursing program to kind of like, you know, let's get a move on.

[00:35:16]

You know, like I don't want to necessarily put off getting married, have that dual income. However, we both have a significant amount of debt. So I don't know what to prioritize here right now. What's the arbitrary date for the just for your heart, just for your soul? Well, what this do to hustle up and wrap it up? I mean, look, I understand the importance of waiting, and I know, you know, I've already gotten myself into this financial mess here, and I don't want to do anything that's going to make that worse.

[00:35:48]

I'm, of course, willing to wait if it's what's best for the relationship, but I don't want to put it off if there's no need to put it off. You know what I'm saying?

[00:35:59]

I mean, I want to say, like, yeah, yeah.

[00:36:02]

That was really well stated. You were very articulate. So how much how much do you have? Oh, OK.

[00:36:09]

Just student loans. I don't have a credit card or anything else. It's ninety seven thousand dollars. What about him. He's got about the same. He also has a six thousand dollar car loan.

[00:36:18]

Are you guys, have you had the define the relationship discussion when it comes to debt. Are you on the same page that this has to go away quickly? Yes, we are. Yeah, for the most part, we definitely we want it to go away quickly. We just don't know if we're going to get engaged and married.

[00:36:37]

Got that part. I got that part.

[00:36:38]

But I'm asking let's assume that you are married. Are you both in? Have you both discussed that we are going to destroy this 200 thousand dollars worth of debt as fast as possible with these two stellar careers in accounting and nursing? Yes, yes, we definitely do not like we're going to screw around, keep Sallie Mae around like she's a freaking pet. No, no. I mean, yeah, we both want to go out of debt. Yeah.

[00:37:05]

My opinion is get married ASAP. OK, like the sooner the better. OK, even so, yes, this whole thing, though, yes, he's wrong. I have a full time job. I don't care. OK, ok, ok, ok.

[00:37:19]

I mean, Sharon, I got married. I'm at eighteen thousand a year and she can have a job. And the year I got married, I quit my full time job so I could go beyond knuckleheaded and get another to just be an idiot.

[00:37:30]

Yeah, so he collects. Yeah, it's a whole collection of them.

[00:37:35]

It's got more degrees than not a lot of friends, but it sounds like something else is there. Sounds like something like that. Is he not wanting to get married because of the debt.

[00:37:46]

His little thing is now like he wants to get. He has a sequence of things. He wants to get a full time job first. He wants to get save up for a nice ring. He wants to get like his from schooling out of the way. Like I'm telling him what I think is best for us, which is kind of I mean but also I want to get married, but like, you know.

[00:38:04]

But is he is he the kind of guy that he's a planner, as you say? Is he a planner or does he take a shirt in really tight accounting irons, his jeans before he goes to protect?

[00:38:14]

Or is he is he another kind of guy that's like always has a couple of things he's got to do. It's going to keep you on the hook, but he just doesn't want to move out of his mom's house and get married.

[00:38:25]

I think part of it is the fear. I think part of it is I mean, he's only twenty two. And I think part of it is it's a huge goal.

[00:38:31]

You stand a better chance of winning financially married.

[00:38:36]

The sooner the better you stand a better chance of your relationship going well married, the sooner the better.

[00:38:43]

I'm a big marriage fan, so he's the right guy and he'll do it. Go for it. She's going to go tell him you're going to get Dave Ramsey said for you to ask me. Dave said you have to marry me today. Dave said, You're gonna to marry me now, partner. Get off the ladder, buddy. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. This is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. You can listen to Dave Rachel Cruze, Chris Hogan or the rest of the Ramsey network anywhere with the Ramsey network app on your smartphone.

[00:39:20]

Catch all of our full shows, browse by topic or send clips to your friends, head to the App Store and download the Ramsey Network app today.

[00:39:28]

If you're looking for fun and practical ways to save money in your everyday life, you need to check out The Rachel Cruise Show, a podcast from money expert and my daughter, Rachel Cruze. Hey, guys, it's Rachel Cruise and I'm so excited to tell you about my podcast. A lot of people are living paycheck to paycheck. They're in debt. They don't even know where to begin. But they have this need this want to get in control of their money.

[00:39:50]

And if that's you, you have come to the right spot. So in each episode, you can get a ton of inspiration and practical advice. If not, subscribe to the Rachel Corrie show podcast. Make sure you do it today.

[00:40:03]

Hear more from the Ramsey network, including the Rachel Cruz Show wherever you listen to podcasts.

[00:40:09]

Hey, it's James, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. This episode is over, but check the episode notes for links to products and services you've heard about during this episode. Thanks for listening.