Editor's Note: This transcript was automatically transcribed, so mistakes are inevitable. You can contribute by proofreading the transcript or highlighting the mistakes. Sign up to be amongst the first contributors.
We're back we're back with Merry Christmas. Oh, Rath, it's a distraction.
How are you, Rob? I'm good, man. That was very festive. Thank you for the festive welcome.
Oh, are you going to do the whole episode in Santa's Voice?
Because listeners have been clamoring for this great bouncy guys for. You're not amused, folks. I feel good. I can't believe Oxford brothas in Maine.
We get it.
Maine based podcasts. Yeah, we did it. We went back. We did the whole quarantine on both ends type thing. It feels incredible. Now, we can't leave this home, but it's there's snow outside, so that's nice.
Are you are you glad you did it? Is it nice? Yeah. I mean, it's nice to do in the sense that, like, you know, we weren't getting anything out of the experience in New York. And I wanted Kate to see your dad. And, you know, it's where I'm you know, I don't have, like, a real experience of Christmas beyond going to see, like, Oliver Stone movies with my parents. So this is like a way better version of it.
You know, there's a tree and I have like tasks carry firewood.
It's good it's good for me. Like getting sent to reform school.
Yeah. Like carrying a fire, which is like my folks used to make me do it at Christmas time.
It was a bit shows like I just wanna drink eggnog until I puke.
Mom, don't make me. Yeah, I'm looking forward to some dog. I'm saving it because it's the sort of thing I'm not really like a built for for nog. I don't have the years of experience that you do. I imagine you could just say putting that stuff away from sunup to sundown. You know what?
I'm a total personnel. I drink almond nog. I didn't even know they made that.
They make it. They make it. Look, it's I mean, I don't think it's Nog by any definition, but it's like almond milk eggnog.
So it's you know, it's got tincture of eggnog, Yoenis, in it.
And, you know, it's becoming one of those overly busy containers. That's like, why did I fuck up? No, you didn't, bitch. This is all Nog.
Yes, it's better for I think it comes in a regular carton, except I bought a fancier one that comes in like, you know, those creamer's that come in, cartons that look like it looks like a vase, like it's thick on the bottom and then it curves.
And then it's got like a it looks like a decanter.
It's like walking around, except for it's full of like the carnation. Yeah.
And my son likes the Almanack, but he only likes one kind of almond nog.
So he tried the other one and sped into the sink and I was like, show some respect.
Yeah. First they gave their lives for that the shitty yuppie and dog boy.
But I don't so I don't drink regular eggnog because it's so heavy. Oh my favorite old David tell jokes.
I have a lot of favorite old David tell jokes, but he would make fun of eggnog and he would say, I will get a little drunk but I also want pancakes.
Yeah. I think it's really a testament to what we've built here at this podcast that last week we were going over like the ridiculousness of the Williams-Sonoma catalog. And in the first five minutes of this podcast, we have gotten significantly to the right of the Williams-Sonoma catalog in terms of Bujji obnoxiousness. Oh, dude.
Doing the things that I noticed when I when I posted the Haters Guide on Defector last week was like all the commenters were like, oh, I have that.
It's kind of good. Doesn't quite work. And I'm like, yeah, I'm like I'm like, oh shit.
The counters have betrayed the the the facade of every day, every man righteousness that I put up a bunch of fussy lawyers being like, Yeah, would not describe the core caravan correctly for this van someone.
So I saw that it was the sort of thing where it was very like I did not mind any of the comments because nobody was like mad about it. But there were a lot of people being like, I thought you should know that you described that very poorly.
The actual product itself, like, yeah, no, I'm not mad. I'm not mad at the I'm not mad convertors. But it's definitely a mask off. I mean, it's clear like I went to Exeter, I went to Kolby. My parents have lived in Connecticut for thirty years. I'm a WASP.
I'm the target audience for the call is coming from inside the house. Yeah, the call is coming from inside the manor.
And so it's it's it's it was just such a such an obvious thing.
They said to say the commenter's like don't don't let them know that I'm I'm actually an upper crust dickhead and I actually authentically am a little bit far afield from this.
Like I've not had the famous peppermint brittle or whatever the the product was peppermint. It's it's Barcroft. It's Pepper.
But I'm I'm curious, you know, like I'm willing to learn I'm up here carrying a Christmas tree through the snow. I'm, like, open to new experiences. The works great.
I mean, no one, too who has had the bark has complained about it. Like, it's hilarious that it's forty bucks. You get ten that says like Althea on it or whatever the fuck you. The reader, one of our readers I. Regret not having the name in front of me was like, you can pretty much get anything you want on the tin. And so, like one of them is, like you said, some examples that he'd made that were just, yes, eat shit, just like which I think is delightful, that Williams-Sonoma is actually key, extremely laissez faire on stuff like that.
Yes. He said, I have it in front me. He got eat shit 20, 20. I've gotten a couple of Christmas cards that like one of my wife's friends, an ornament that said, fuck, Tony, Tony in a spiral like in the snowflake.
My kids liked that kids loved in Peach Mint with the mint spelled like Minty.
And then county twats was the cheese, which is a very, very, very British.
Bit of profanity.
Yeah, that's like getting in on like off on a technicality or whatever, where they're like we can't have curses on it, but like if it's a curse, like if it's like a Cockney curse, meaning like something like and we can't prove that it's an American profanity, then like, yeah, go ahead, do what you need.
Yeah. Yeah. My New Year's resolution is to incorporate the sebum into American profanity as deftly as British people have done it.
Yeah, they're my New Year's resolution is to go see a movie in a movie theater with my wife and then go get a drink afterwards and talk about it.
I honestly think you will be able to do that. I hope so. I mean, it would be cool to do it before summer, but I would settle for doing it during the summer. I just have been really thinking about that. I think I've had dreams about parties, not even cool parties, not interesting parties, just like being at a party, like in a room with other people, some of whom I know, some of whom I don't.
And then I wake up and I was like, oh, that was interesting. I wouldn't from it's like when I when I stopped eating red meat for 14 years, I started again, but I would have dreams about eating red meat. And then when I stopped drinking after my injury. I inevitably had a few dreams about where I would be drinking, and I wouldn't think anything of it. And in the middle of a dream, I'd be like, oh, I'm not supposed to be doing this.
And then I'd wake up and be like, oh, oh, I'm just I'm just high.
Yeah, it's tough that way. You never really know the distance between your unconscious and actually just the high brain that you have.
I would say that like fuck 20, 20, eat shit 20, 20, whatever as a sentiment. I know that that's like become sort of like a normal thing now that that's like a consensus.
And I can't really argue with it, but I've been trying like, you know, we only have a few days left in the year.
And I've been trying to kind of like reconcile how I actually. Feel about all of it and the answer is, like, insanely bad, but also like I have no even by the standards of, like, old guy collapsing brain, I have no idea how far back twenty twenty goes. Like, to me it's like it's 30 months. Yeah. It's a it's a time portal. It was like its own Trump administration. Yeah.
It was like just like this kind of dilation where like stuff that happened in twenty, seventeen maybe also happened in June.
Yeah. It was one year of four more years and that's why I so I remember at the end of twenty sixteen everyone was like twenty sixteen worst year ever.
And then I was like OK just fucking wait like that. Yeah. Yeah. And twenty twenty like all the twenty twenty jokes were justified because the year was shit although I have to tell you. And I want to I want to talk about because. And I don't know how to say I don't know how to say this without sounding like a complete dick, but then again, I sound like a complete dick everywhere. People like character. I can only say personally that I had a wonderful year, which doesn't make any sense, because I think, you know, now that we're all extremely online, it's very hard to separate your own personal welfare from the welfare of the world.
So the world's doing really bad.
Therefore, you know, you open up your doom scroll and you're like, well, you know, my day is ruined, but really it's not.
You can still compartmentalize and your personal world can be OK within that.
That's how it used to be, like before online, like you could, I don't know, in like I don't know, in the eighteen hundreds or something like, you know, there could be there could be a fucking war five miles over, but you'd be, you wouldn't know about it and you'd be like baking fresh bread and that would be a nice day for you.
Like you're not if you're not in the Spanish Armada, the sinking of the Spanish Armada might not mean that much to you. Yeah.
Yeah. So I had like a good year. Like, I went to therapy. I got very mentally fit. I got physically fit. We started this website like which was like no small thing like and I'll I'll tell the story and you might tell me I can't tell it but like it was this time last year.
In fact it was a year ago on Christmas Eve.
It was last Christmas Eve. Or we got the the news that there was going to be an investment, a term sheet for defector and that we were going to have a website. And so we were like and my mom, I swear to God, my mom was like, I don't think that's an accident because we got the news after we went to church.
The one time we a year we go to fucking church.
And my mom was like, I don't know, that's pretty.
And I was like, Mom, you're like, you might not be, but let's not take this as some sort of signal that we should be going to church more often. Right.
My mom and be adults about all this.
Here's my mom is extremely not religious, in fact, hostile religions, which is why I grew up rather hostile to religion.
So but for her so far to say she's like she's like, you know, it's like how my daughter treats astrology like my daughter is like, don't be talking bad about astrology at the dinner table, yo.
And I'm like, all right, calm the fuck you will might anger the Sagittarius. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, yeah, I'm, I mean, it's funny, I didn't remember that it was Christmas Eve last year, but I did you know, it was a long time coming that we thought that the site was going to be a thing.
And that's right. And I never really thought that it wasn't going to happen because I have a great deal of faith in the people that we were working with. And I think we really did have, like, you know, a unique kind of value proposition. But I also, you know, it's the year that it was like even before there was a fucking plague on, I was just like, not.
Willing to accept that any of this was possible until it was actually happening? I don't know that I'd say that this was a great year for me. I've had happier ones. But the fact that we have this site now and we didn't when it started is like, I don't know, I found myself feeling very grateful for it. But again, as you said, it's like a weird thing to sort of feel grateful for because like also every other thing that we, you know, believed in or grew up with is like atrophied or falling down around our ears right away, you know, in ways that you can't ignore.
Right. Yes. But here's our website. Here's our stupid podcast. You know, we're lucky, right?
Because it was a year where you could not avoid. You know, you could not ignore the world's consequences in your own personal life because you had to stay home, you had to wear a mask, my my kids could not go to school. That altered their year significantly. So all of that, you know, I took all that into account.
And the other thing about defector was and I remember it was around January, February, right when the specter of the pandemic was really growing like intensely. And I remember Billy hazily and Slack was like this going to fuck with our website.
And I was like, shut up, Billy. It's not going to happen. You're right.
And then it totally fucked with the website. So we waited. We didn't launch. Yeah, we didn't launch until September. So we had nine months after that Christmas Eve of really waiting on tenterhooks to see if we could actually pull this off.
And that's the end of the year. And we did it.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's hard to to sort of like pull out your own feelings from the broader sort of context of being exhausted and sort of frightened and despondent about, like the broader state of things that I've been trying to do that. And I think that that's like. I don't know, I mean, the goal for us in having the site, I mean, is I think pretty simple and we've been pretty clear about just wanting to have a place where we can all work together, you know, that'll make us a little bit of money.
And but like as a cash flow business, like we're not trying to become ESPN or whatever.
Right. What I hope will happen is that there'll be more sites like this, you know, and that there'll be other opportunities for. Places, you know, that do something like what we do outside of this, like failing structure of the, you know, the industry in which most of this is still suspended.
Well, the other thing is that we waited for nine months because we had no other jobs. Right. Like, I had a nice freelancing year.
I'm not going to complain about that.
Like, I was one of the rare people who was able to flourish as a freelancer right now, only because a very, very, very special circumstances that other people, other people in our line of work don't have the privilege.
Also, to be fair, you're very good and you've been doing it for ten years. It's a different sort of thing. Yeah, fucking great.
And um, yeah, like I'm well known and all that stuff. So I had that advantage on my site and like a lot of other people, but I couldn't find a real time. I couldn't find like a full time job. I couldn't get health care.
I was paying COBRA for eight months, eight months until we started to factor like the fact that I didn't have to pay COBRA anymore was like an astonishing victory.
I think the only people I know that has ever actually avail themselves of the COBRA option because it's so expensive.
Yeah, every time I've been laid off from a job, you get some letter where they're like, we're pleased to offer you, like the plan that you were just on for a mere two thousand six hundred and seventy dollars a month.
That actually is pretty much what my Cobra bill was.
Yeah, but I mean, you actually need it because you have a thing. I have no brain damage, so yeah, it's important. And you know, you want to say it so directly, but yeah, you can like the idea of like spending that kind of money. Like in my 30s I was like, you know what, I think I'll just not have insurance for a while because like this seems stupid, inexpensive and like if I don't go outside, how can I get sick?
Yeah, it's it's one of the weird things about aging is where. You don't get sticker shock anymore, you just sort of you see the bill and you're just like, oh, that when I got.
I mean I remember I remember when I moved to New York in 1998 after graduating college and I had to look at the rents and like I was like, what the heck?
And of course, of course, now I think my rent. I think my at the time, it's like a hundred bucks how much again? Fifteen hundred bucks. Terrific. It was four which was one bedroom.
No, it was a fucking it was a studio, but had an alcove, so that was like it was in Midtown.
So it had I was like I was like, oh my God, there's a whole alcove where I can put the bed and the rest of it can be like a TV, can be a bachelor pad and like it has carpet.
I was like, wow. And and it had half a fridge. It was like, this is the highlight.
I'm living like a fucking graduate Congressional Foreman Grill and was.
Yeah, I totally I totally had a Foreman Grill and I had, I had a freezer that was the freezer in the mini fridge like was fully up, fully clogged with with the white frost. Yes. With Frost. What the fuck. I can't, I can't think of the what, what is the name of it.
When, when food gets frostbite. It's not it gets freezer. Freezer burned. Yes. All right. So it was entirely Kaikoura with freezer burn and inside that was an ice tray. That was it was a metal tray. And there was a grid inside of it was a pull lever. Yeah.
So no, those so you actually put your finger on one of those because that was one of my first official acts as somebody living independently in New York City. No, but there were times in my fridge.
No, there are times where it was so frozen like I couldn't pull the lever no matter no matter how drunk I was. I couldn't I couldn't do it.
We were I was. So when we were driving up here, now we're talking about like, ah, like initial forays into trying to cook dinner for ourselves around that time in our lives. And like, you're a pretty serious food person now. But I remember you telling a story on an early podcast appearance about how you would use the Foreman Grill or misuse it. And you just I would just cook chicken thighs in it every night. And I never clean the fat trap.
But it was just like that to me, has always been the gold standard for just like perverted 22 year old kitchen style things.
I did that and I would buy sausages and I buy stovetop stuffing and I make the stove top stuffing, which, by the way, I, I'll still vouch for stovetop stuffing.
It's fucking great. And I would count the sausages and mix it in and put hot sauce on it.
And that was my dinner like that was my bachelor dinner. So it's either that or foreman chicken thighs.
So that was my that's when you're trying to knock out the fat but also leave in the flavor.
That's right. That's right. That's right. I set it and forget if you set it and then I would fall asleep on my own futon watching a Bengals game.
So anyway, that that rent was like fifteen hundred bucks a month, I can guarantee you that. Should our studio apartment in Midtown now rents for like four grand a month, and I can guarantee you like stuff that I remember fondly, the apartments that we were shown when we were first moving in here, we're like, it's exciting.
Like this is you know, I'm that like kind of like the party in the USA sort of energy that young people bring to moving someplace. Right. Who knows? Like what kind of amazing fortune awaits us here. And then you, like, look at an apartment in, like Chinatown where they're like, well, one of the bedrooms is underwater. That's like so one of you guys is going to obviously get the short straw on that one. And there's carp that live in it, but they're friendly carp and they're affiliated with the restaurant located directly below you.
And then also sometimes the restaurant above you will come down and ask for carp as well. This is twenty three hundred dollars.
I remember my wife and I moved here and we were like twenty eight, twenty seven. And and we had we, we had a we had a one bedroom apartment. So we're like, oh my God, we have a whole other room. Wow. That's awesome. And we threw a housewarming party like I was like oh I'm going make Bache cocktails and and like get like a a fruit platter.
It's going to be a kick ass. And three people showed up.
I was like all our all our all our friends down here were like, oh yeah. No, Dave, you know, Dave's having a party tonight, so we're going to that he goes to fruit platter. So. Yeah.
So it's like I was like, well, this is an auspicious beginning. But then now here I am, an actual house that I can't leave. So who's who's the winner now?
It's like, yeah, that's you know, so that actually brings us back to twenty twenty.
Who's to say that it hasn't all been leading up to this to this moment of triumph, trapped indoors, talking about old apartments we had.
Let's take a break and come right back. We're back, so I'm bullish on twenty twenty one, but again, I can't complain about my own existence in twenty twenty, but I think it's I think one thing that I need to do sort of in the New Year is do my best to.
It's weird because I wanted divorce my my own sort of personal prospects from how the earth is doing at any given moment because the world would be perfect. So as we fucked. Yeah.
Well there's only so much you can control. That's a really that's like a fucking life's pursuit there is trying to keep all that in mind for me.
That's right. You can't control any of it. But at the same time you don't wanna feel ignorant or tone deaf. And that's, you know, and you know, as a blogger, as a professional blogger, I will start a sentence.
Yeah. I had never I never did not sound tone deaf. But, you know, a certain point, you have to actually live something of a tone deaf existence if you want to stay sane like the whole.
This is not a normal thing that people been doing for four years, like.
You know, I know, I know Trump just pardoned like 50 mass murderers, that's what he does. Like, I can't. It's hard. I mean, what am I going to wear your obligations as somebody who's spent a lot of this year writing about about Trump to that like at some point, like you don't owe him.
Being upset all the time, every hour of every day, yes, he wants to live his presidency, is that all you think about is fucking him, that the only thing that anybody talks about is him? Like, so, yeah, like one act of resistance to that would be to just find something in your life that is better and more beautiful than that fucking caricature of a dude. Yeah. Shouldn't be hard to find.
And then just go from there.
I will say since he lost I think about him less, which is feels like it feels like feel like I broke up with my ex-girlfriend.
It's like oh a free I don't this person is not my fucking problem anymore. Hey you want a drink from the poisoned chalice. Oh my gosh.
So you can make just so we can divorce ourselves from all the bad things in the world. Let's let's think about something bad that isn't about the president.
This is from Rod Graham, Twitter user Rod Graham. He's an associate professor of sociology and criminology and Cordner of Old Dominion University Cyber Crime Program.
I bet they have done a lot in the field of cyber We love you. That's where Mark West went. His tweet.
He got dunked on this week for this. He said, I don't see the need for sex scenes in movies anymore. Most don't push the plot along and the act is better left to the imagination. God, that is such a Gregg Easterbrook sentence. They are not needed any.
The body scenes are new scenes. This guy is this guy is either five years old or ninety five years old.
Just unbelievable. Absolute potty scenes.
I've what I wanted to reply to. But what if I want to masturbate during the movie?
What am I supposed to do by one thing you seem to have left out, Professor Yandi.
To me that is also very much like that's a very like 20/20 culture, sort of. Like take there in the sense that, like the movies that have replaced all other movies are movies that would have no need of a sex scene because everyone in them is like, where's a cape all the time? Right. Constantly fighting a bad guy that also wears a cape, right?
Yeah. Like the what what was the last big movie that the sex scenes like Watchmen like.
Yeah. Can we talk about we're going to talk about that sex scene. I'd love to do it if you, if you're interested, because I think that's the perfect example of the sex scene. That is also a party scene. And it's also like that's the problem with trying to I mean, if all movies are kids' movies, which is basically true now, then like what would be like trying to shoehorn some scene in the owl ship set to Leonard Cohen performing Hallelujah is like that's the one instance in which you have to tip your cap to Professor Graham.
There's no reason that anybody needs to be seeing that shit as it is.
But in my defense, it had naked people in it. So I was I was aroused. So like I was like, oh, they played Leonard Cohen. Oh, that's so overwrought.
Let me watch it again to make sure how silly it is.
It's all just great because like, that's in the same way that everything that Zack Snyder does is like, you know, little clues in the endless true detective process of trying to figure out how a person actually wound up like that. Like, I think that that's what Zack Snyder believes sex is like.
It could be what it's that if you're him. But the idea it's like when I was a kid and I had, like, not had sex that I had, but I had seen Red Shoe Diaries and I was like, all right.
So like sex is when there's enough candles and, you know, think it was. And so for Zack Snyder, the idea of being like, what is the most, you know, erotic possible adult encounter like. All right. It takes place in a spaceship in low orbit. Between two people who are floating, I feel like all that adult stuff got shoved off to Prestige TV and that's where it is now and it's just not really in movies anymore unless it's like, you know, unless unless it's this time of year when the raft of Oscar movies came in, except there are no Oscar movies this year because they couldn't make any goddamn movie.
Yes, it is.
I mean, I feel like in some ways, like in order for a sex scene to fit within a movie, it would have to be a movie about like adult people with lives that have sex in them. And there just are not a great many of those getting made now.
Yeah, like those are just like those short the big budget movies don't get made anymore. Like there's no like big action movies with like, like the I think the nice guys was the last like big movie I saw that had like nudity and like gratuitous violence in it. And it was a flop. And they won't let Shane Black make it ever, ever again.
They'll let him make Iron Man four because Iron Man three made money that sucked.
We love our nice guys. That's a formal endorsement from the distraction.
And anyway, it is such a good move. Every black ever shambolic movie that and kiss, kiss, bang, bang.
It was like and of course, I grew up on Lethal Weapon, you know, so like to see that back was like. It's how it's how Star Wars fanboys feel like when Luke comes back on the Mandalorian. It's interesting how you feel when somebody like hurts himself, falls down and fires a handgun. It works in different generations, like different things.
Yeah, I was like boobs on a screen. My childhood is back. Your Guy of the week, Donald. Ego weak. Hell yes. We love this week. We love him.
He was a kicker for kicks. But also I imagine you remember him as a Viking. He was a Viking for one year.
He was also he also, I believe, played in the O in the CFL for the Baltimore Stallion's and the Memphis Mad Dogs when the Canadian and the CPFL made a an ill advised excursion south of the border and had a couple of American expansion teams for like a day and a half.
He was that was good shit. That was I often get those teams confused with the NFL teams, but I believe that one of the CFL teams was the Orlando WRAGE. Which is a name that I've thought about often since I don't remember what league it was in, but I remember their jerseys were the color of the lemon lime Gatorade and Kirwin Bell was their quarterback and they just it didn't work. And it was so obviously not going to work. And yet even when I was in like eighth grade, I was like, I appreciate this effort.
It was an effort to part of you that makes more sense. So what I remember about a week and I looked this up to make sure that I was remembering it properly and I was happy that I was not.
So he was arrested as part of a big heroin trafficking thing and then he was just acquitted. Yes, that's right, yeah, innocent man wrongly accused. Yeah, I remember it was like a big scandal. I think it happened Wall. Well, I know it happened while he was kicking for the Vikings. And I think they released him because they're like, well, we can't get any drug dealers on the Vikings.
Our team that is exclusively resigned to driving while intoxicated.
Yeah, well, that's like more of a that's actually, I don't think, illegal in most of the upper Midwest.
Well, the Broncos sort of frowned upon. The Broncos sees the DUI crown from the Vikings like a while ago. But like when I was growing up in the 90s, like if you were a Viking, you had to get a DUI that was like jumped into the game.
That was a pretty rough week. They were like, is Gary Anderson around? And he was like, I'm 52 years old and hell, yes, I'm around. Let's do this thing.
It was good to hey, it's time for Dederer cancelled. We're blowing through it because we want to get to Christmas. Your dinner canceled. I actually had to look it up myself, so I considered myself exciting. Your daughter canceled this week.
Who is this person? This person dead or they canceled? It's Marlon Brando.
They never canceled Marlon Brando. Oh, wow. Right. That Marlon Brando has passed, is that right? Yeah. Marlon Brando died in 2004.
And I and I lucky enough ago that I was just like, maybe he's not making movies right now. Yeah. Yeah, I do.
Definitely not. It wasn't no one was inviting him to make a movie before his death anyway, because he had already made, like Island of Doctor Moreau and all that shit.
But have you ever seen that? No. I mean, I've always been curious about it. I love John Frankenheimer and it's got a lot of other really good actors in it. But like, it seems like it was the sort of thing where, like, nobody could tell Brando not to do stuff.
So he would show up and be like, I was thinking that maybe I could be with everybody else's hair and. All right. That's a good Brando.
Thanks. I look at it. It all happened, Larry. There was an old SNL skit movie I saw him in.
Like it's like Don Juan DeMarco, possibly the freshman was the last one I saw him in and he was great in it.
It's great. He was he was delightful in it. But he was he was Don Corleone. Yeah.
This is an ugly word scandal.
Let's get to the fun back, the last bumbag question, and it's going to be the last Trump question of the week forever. Freddie sadly died. Chris writes in, Do you think Donald Trump can flip somebody off? Like, does he have the fine motor control to put his fingers into that configuration? It seems like someone of his temperament would flip people off just all the time. But I can't think of ever seeing him do it. I wonder if he's even capable.
Does Donald Trump have the motor function to give you the bird?
What a delightful question. This is what Rayonier it takes us on.
So I think there's a couple of arguments against him being able to do it.
Like, for one thing, you don't he doesn't do a great deal with his hands beyond, like, make them into fists and sometimes, like, just point vaguely at people that he sees in crowds and stuff.
He does the he does the sizing thing like every speech. It's like like I caught a fish this big. Like he does that with his hands.
Yes. Right. The one where it looks like he's playing a weird accordion. Yeah, but that's right. But he does not. But he doesn't. It's hard for me to imagine, although at the sea though, if he were doing it, this would be my my heavily caveated answer.
If he were capable of doing it, it would be the sort of thing that he'd do while like biting down on his lower lip in such a way that his two front teeth are visible, like, yeah, making the the truck boy face that he makes whenever they like, give him a piece of heavy equipment to sit on.
You think you can do it. Yeah, I the I think you can give people the burden.
I think he does it all the time. I think I, I like to, I like to imagine that he's just utterly incapable of any like basic human function, like he doesn't even know how to breathe, but he does shit he can do. So he can flip, he can flip people off, he can like pour a cup of coffee without spilling it.
We won't drink the coffee, but that's like like there are some very, very like he can sit down on a chair.
He can't like when he sits down he sits, we are like he's taking a shit but he can actually place his ass onto the chair and rest on it.
And that's fair. I think that this is if this is really the last time that we're going to talk about him on the podcast and I'm sure it will be.
No, it's the last Donald Trump question. I'm sure we will talk about in some other segments. We should give some credit where it's due, like the guy really knows how to place his ass on things. Yeah, whether it's a golf cart, a large, overstuffed chair with, like, weird epaulets on it. Whatever it is, the guy can put his ass places.
I mean, there's no shortage of ass for him to use this. Again, this the arena. Yeah. Is this how we're going to end it? This is how we're going to end our podcast year. Do we have another friend now?
Let's just get on with it. Let's get on to Chris. You are obviously your wife celebrates Christmas. You are a tribesman. Do you are you going to have some?
Some Chinese food and see a movie and things of that nature. Well, no, man, this is we can't we're not we can't go anywhere like we might do stuff. But right now, what it's basically been is like we play cards every night. Kate's dad and her and I, like her mom, passed a little while back. And so we do that.
And then at some point her dad starts listening to YouTube videos on his phone, very loud of he's really into guys that use metal detectors to find old coins. So that's a really that's a pleasant sound to hear. Just the sound of a metal detector screeching.
And that's such a grandparent move towards a super powerful thing.
Yeah. And but that's like basically the size of it. And then, you know, like we spend all day thinking about what we're going to make for dinner and doing, like, sort of tasks about the house. I have come to really like it. I mean, it's like the the holiday itself is like, you know, they never went to church. Like, obviously that's not in the offing now, but the. Idea of it, like I sort of just have secularized it in the way that I do Thanksgiving, like it's just a chance to sort of be with people and not be working.
And I appreciate it very much for that.
I have I have I have other Jewish friends who just have a tree and they just do it because it's like it's it's an American holiday. Like it's just basically, hey, let's give you some of the free shit and hang free decorations.
And that seems fine. Like you don't.
Yeah, they they did take the Christ out of Christmas.
Oh, we won what you did.
Howard, congratulations and merry Christmas and happy twenty, twenty one. We will see you on the other side. One when we will not be here next week, we will be doing nothing like I want to say will be in Maui.
We're not going to be in Maui. We're going to be stuck in a house.
I'm going to be driving. So assume that I'm moving very slowly outside of Hartford at the time when you'd ordinarily be listening to the podcast. Oh, who doesn't love the wonders of our great town?
Well, this is our producer and engineer this week. Daza Rozario is our executive producer and our theme song is by the immortal Kirk Hamilton. You can listen to add free episodes of the distraction only on such a premium.
And thanks to Roth and me and just us this week, you got free month of stitcher premium right now because it's such a premium dotcom and you use the promo code, distract me, get your rate review and subscribe wherever it is that you listen and go subscribe to it.
Affect your outcome too, because it's still time to get yourself a holiday gift subscription. You go to Factor Dotcom Holiday Dasch gift and you can get a holiday gift subscription for yourself or for your loved ones. And a free tote. Yeah. Go say don't don't forget the tote. Yeah, you get the tote and that goes under your tree because you gotta keep your tree up to Long Beach. Go on, try and keep the the holiday spirit alive past Christmas, which never fucking works good.
So have you tried it with a tote yet though. I'm not trying out.
I'll see you all so I'll see what I can do about that. If the tote has like lots of chocolate in it, but you can't rule it out.
We'll see you in twenty, twenty one. Have a great Christmas. Thanks. Bye bye.