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Oh and he has a Showtime special that comes out this Friday, May 29th. And it's on Showtime, 6:00 p.m. Pacific, 9:00 p.m. East Coast. And it's called Stay at Home, Son. Stay at home, son. That's what it's called. I love them to death. Please give it up for the great and powerful.

Hey, Suze Trejo government podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience, trained by Joe Rogan podcast by Night All Day. Pestles, my man. What's up, brother? Good to see you. Good to see you, man. Thank you so much for this amazing opportunity. I couldn't sleep last night at all. Yeah. Yeah. No, I was excited. I lay down my my my outfit and ironed it. I'm like, you know, I got.

Yeah. Lint roller.

That's so crazy, dude. You know, I've been friends for years.

You got to relax. But this is a big deal.

I mean, you're you're you're trying to get that shit out of your head, try to get that big deal out of your head. Yeah.

Just clean it. Clean it. You've got a big deal tomorrow night. Showtime. Well, when this airs, it'll be tonight.

Yeah, be tonight. Showtime. My first one hour special. That's amazing. I'm excited for you. I've seen you working it out. It's hilarious shit. And I know you've been really grinding up until this pandemic, but luckily you filmed it. You got under the wire. Right. How many months out were you?

I filmed on November 2nd. OK, you missed it by a couple of months. That's good. Yeah. November 2nd I filmed it.

And, you know, people think I named the special stay at home son because of what was going on. But I landed on the on the title in the summer. It's called Stay at Home. Yeah, stay at home son. OK, and I you know, if I would have named it, I would have put a comma right before the sun really drove the point. But yeah, I was excited and my first one hour special, it's like one of those things where you like you dream about it as a kid and here it is.

And it's like how many years I've been doing stand up now. Thirteen. Oh that's good. I started when I was twenty and I'm thirty three now.

This is a thing that they say, I don't know who they are but I say to who are they, who are they.

Ten years takes ten years to become a real comic. That's what they always say. I don't know why they say that.

Is it like the black belt is like, you know, it takes ten years to more or less to get a black belt and the learning begins?

Well, you're always learning. You know, I think that learning begins stuff is kind of a weird way to say it because you're always learning. You know, I understand what they're saying, that there's so you once you understand, it's like there's an expression. I think it was either Darren Dennis or Terence McKenna said that when the bonfire of knowledge increases, the surface area of ignorance is exposed more.

So the idea is that the more you know, the more you realize the possibilities and the less you really think you ever knew anything.

When you're young, your knowledge is so limited and your world is so small that you get cocky and you think also your brain's not fully formed. Right? You think, you know you're way smarter than you really are.

But as you get older, the older I get and the more I understand, I'm like, oh, this is all madness. Like this whole thing, like tied together with bubble gum and fucking shoestrings, they could fall apart and fly off into the universe like this. As I get older, I'm less confident and everything a more a more puzzled by everything. And I think I know way less the more I know like I know way more than I knew when I was eighteen, but I'm way less confident now.

Yeah, that's, that's absolutely true.

The older I get I seem to just even doubt myself more because I'm like, what do I know. It's like I guess, you know, even in standing when you first start out and you have those first few minutes, you're like, oh no, this is funny. And then you, you know, with time you're like, that was not funny, you know, at all. So it's like you hold things less dear. Yeah. You know, it's not like, you know, your first five minutes.

You're like, oh man, this is, you know, late night show here we come in and just like looking back, I couldn't believe I was doing that, but that's how I tricked myself into doing new material is like I imagine that this is day one of stand up for me.

And this is the only material I got. And I think it's hilarious. And I go up and I try to do it as if I'm starting out. And I think this is that's only material I have. Right.

That's a good way to do it, man. I mean, I think the method that guys are doing now, like I guess like Louie probably started it off because Louie was doing one a year for a little bit. I think that's too much. There's too much money here. But something happened around that time or I think I believe Louis C.K. was probably one of the big reasons why people started doing a lot of really regular specials, because he was he was if he wasn't the top guy, he was certainly at the top.

And you got to remember that this is when Chris Rock had to take that he took that self-imposed exile, just decided to not really do shows, except whenever he wanted to for like ten years. Right. So during that time, Louie really came up and Louie, when he was at its peak, was doing a standup special every year. And I think even he thinks that they weren't as good as they could have been if you gave it two years or three years, stuff like that.

But then everybody started doing that. So throw your material out and then the number if you go back. I bet. I bet if we had like a chart that show the number of stand up specials made like when the Internet became really popular in like the 2000s and then things started getting on the Internet like YouTube clips, everything just ramped up everything in a big way. The just the sheer volume. And everybody does the same thing. Now you abandon your material and then you do all new stuff.

And and I think like Louis C.K. during during. That time to like he disrupted the business model of introducing like the five dollar specials, so it's like it became something that was like, hey, you know, you can sell, produce it, put it out there. There's no middleman. Exactly.

But I feel like the the the our like, throwing away the hour every year seems to be like what comics do overseas. From what I understand, like the Edinburgh farce, they go in, they do the they do the names, right?

Yeah, they do. Kind of like you been.

I've never been I would like to experience that. But I think American comics really like hone this special for years, you know, and it takes so long to get the first one and then in between. But now it's like, you know, like you said, it happens a lot more.

Everybody's doing it now. Ari loves that Edinburgh. He says right to I say it wrong, Edinburgh, Edinburgh, Edinburgh.

Do you know how it's got Scottish culture like Adam Edinburgh? Yeah, but they do themes.

Apparently I haven't been. But the way Ari describes it, it's like, you know, to do a theme on childhood.

It's like this whole hour they'll write over the year and it'll be dedicated to childhood and then they'll go perform it and, you know, special. And then the next year they have a new theme.

It's like they favor like the one man show kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, but they have their own versions of it. Right. Like. There's like the Eddie IFTTT version or Eddie Izzard, rather, the Australian version, Eddie, if you know Eddie, right? Yeah, yeah, of course.

American American does a lot of standup in Australia, but the Eddie Izzard excuse me, his version of it is different than, say, like like who's the.

Ricky Gervais, I would say it's like the top dog, right, that's over here in America from England, and he does pretty much American style standup. When you say would you say that?

Yeah. Yeah, he pretty much I mean I mean, he hosts a crosier, you know, so it's a it's more in tune in sync with what we gravitate towards here in the States, I believe.

Well, he's also like a very brave social commentator. Like when some shit's going down, he's usually got a hot take and it's usually controversial, but usually correct.

You know, he's got balls. He's a critical thinker, you know. Yeah, I put him in that category. And I think, you know, a lot of comedians have this critical thinking mind. I'm not one of those. I'm more of the goofier side of things. But in the spectrum of comedy, I think there's like Gervaise and, you know, it's like Chappelle and yourself that kind of dissect, you know, a certain element of a premise.

You know, it's like they walk down the alley and they flash a flashlight on the tangents and explore it. It's almost like a modern day philosopher. I feel like, you know, back then they would go to the plaza, talk, you know, these points out. But now it's like it's comedy.

Well, one thing I've noticed in particular in these last couple of months when we haven't been able to do standup, first of all, some people are figuring out how to do it anyway, like Andrew Schultz got it nailed and nailed it.

He's got an email that he's absolutely so fun to watch.

Yeah, I'd be turning the phone before he tells me to start. I real quick, dude, he's he's put out some fucking amazing ones.

That one on Joe Biden was just epic. It was epic. I didn't see that one. Oh, my God. How Biden's the perfect president for right now.

Because the world. I could see that. Yeah. It's so good.

Yeah. It's like he's writing these pieces and then he's he's doing a different thing because, like, the comedy clubs aren't available, which is where he would be working all the stuff out in the comedy club. So instead of just waiting, he said, no, I'm I'm going to just do it and I'm going to make this content and just make it so good. I don't even need an audience like everything's rapid fire.

It's all on a log. He's having fun. You can tell he's being silly and having fun. They're great, man.

They're great. It's presented perfectly. It's it's. Yeah, it's everything about it. It's impeccable. Yeah, it really is.

And you know, my boy Tim Dylan, his shit that he's been doing hilarious during this pandemic. It's been some of the I saw the way you posted yesterday. He says he's an animal.

He's an animal. He's so and he's so prolific. I love that. He's always, always working. Always doing something. Yeah.

He's bulletproof for sure. He's so good. It's it's just yeah. He's he's so funny. And just the sweetest guy ever is the best guy.

And I think that like there's a real hope for the future stand up knowing that in this dangerous time guys like that are still out there swinging from the hips, like throwing bombs, you know, like Andrew Schultz throws bombs.

He tells you he would he's saying the shit in these videos that he would say, if you guys are just hanging out. Yeah. And he's like, fuck it.

And that this is what's funny. Yeah. It's like I feel like that liberty can be taken now because there's no network in in the forefront. It's his channel. He can take those risks. He's not worried about getting let go persay. Yeah. You know, but there is some kind of repercussion on social media. Social media. People are like, you know, they're adding him and stuff like that, you know, reaching out. But not that it matters.

He does a company he wants to do. And I think that's satisfying as a comic to see.

Yes. The only way he could do it, he's one of those dudes. He's got his you know, he's an all in marches to the beat of his own drummer. Yeah.

Those guys will step into like traditionally comics have been kind of lazy.

A lot of us are alcoholics. A lot of us gamble. A lot of us sleep late and irresponsible.

And, you know, and for the longest time before all these specials were getting produced, a lot of guys are doing the same material forever.

Just kept doing it forever and ever and ever.

Well, now you're forced into this position where you can't really can't really do that when when there's no shows. So who steps up and who does stuff and like picks up the pace of the stuff that they're doing online.

And that's that's where Schultz has come in. Tim Dillon. And and a lot of these guys are doing that, you know, for him, as does he does a lot of hilarious.

He's so funny. He's so funny, man. So unique for him.

Manoir has a bunch of great shit with him having conversations with him.

Yeah, he's he's he's so funny. And and again, he recognizes that he can write his own stuff and just puts it out there. And it's done very simple, like editing wise. But I mean, it's all phones. It's great. It's great. He's one of the guys that I love watching at the store for him and Germar neighbors. Yes.

Oh, dude, no one's ever done the Instagram better than Kyle Dunnigan. I've said that before. I'll say it again to the day I die. That motherfucker goes in his.

Oh, my God. If you painted his face swaps, have you ever watched. No, no. You never see how I'm going to follow him. Yeah, I got a phone.

Oh, my God, dude, he's got a bit where Bill Maher is in a gang bang and you can't breathe when you watch.

It is so preposterous, is so preposterous. And it's that. Really bad face swap, which makes it better, right, because I wanted to like Dr. Frankenstein or the faking those kind of scary. They're scary.

Yeah, it doesn't do it so good. It's like what? That's Trump's face on a baby. How do you do that? Right.

This stuff looks wack. It's wobbly and shit. But it's like southpark like it doesn't have to be realistic in the fact that it's not realistic adds to why it's so funny. Right. You're not attached when Kenny dies every episode.

He's not like a real little kid with his head goes flying. Right. They'll be fucked up.

There's something satisfying comedically when you see the production value, not at 100 percent, you know, it's like we almost accepted more. Yes.

Yeah. But you'll allow things to get through your filter, right?

Because like like Cartman, he doesn't like a person. He looks like, you know, you understand that that's like a little kid. Just words are coming out of that. So that is the thing. But when that thing dies, there's no emotional connection because it's not a real thing.

It's not like a squirrel. You see a squirrel get hit by a car like fucking little guy.

But if you see. Right, I see Kenny G killed.

There's nothing you're like, all right, I can't wait for next episode kind of thing. I mean, the squirrel might come back as a butterfly. It might be a good death, right? Might be a good passage for him.

That's what's great with cartoons. You know, it's like all of that's like, yeah, it it doesn't harm.

But imagine if that was really what life was like. You started off as a single celled thing and then that died. And the next life you come back as a multi celled organism and then that dies and then you work your way to the worm world, the insect world, a spider world.

What if we're at the end of a long process that started not just biologically started with the first single celled organisms, but like that's a graduation that the life form has to go through?

I think I think that would be cool as I am, but I think it would be cool.

And if people had an idea that that's what was happening, I think people would be a lot more mindful.

You'd be like, could you experience every level along the way? It would mean something to be at the level that we're at, right?

Yeah. People wouldn't take life for granted as much because it's like, man, I, I have to go through every step of the way to get to hear you, see what I'm saying?

Well, you also run into people that seem like they got a fucked up roll of the dice from the start. Mm hmm. Like almost like even almost like they're starting out life at a deficit from another life.

Like they owe money on their past life, like they fucked their past life up so bad.

They're coming back in this one. They're doing their best.

But they should have paid the tickets off. And then there's other people that believe shit that's even weirder. And all the shit's weird, right? Because here's what's weird. Just what we know is true. People have sex, they make babies. Those babies live to be a certain time and then they die. Right. And they have sex and they have babies and that we just all keep doing this. But everybody's living like they're living forever.

Right. Right. That's that's crazy.

Is it so crazy that you do this same life over and over and over again until you get it right? Is that crazy? I don't think it's crazy, it's almost satisfying because it's like, oh, I have another shot at doing it right, because this one wasn't here's what I wanted to be.

But doesn't that I think that mine fucks you. If you really knew that that was true, you'd be so mind fucked. You would.

I don't know if you'd be able to live in the moment. Right. Yeah, because you would be so concerned and like I got their lives and I'm not worried about it, not just that, but you would be thinking like, what's the point? It's just I'm just going to do this forever and ever and ever.

Look at my cool with that.

Do you think the human mind wants like a like a kind of kind of a structure, an ending like they want to like ending? I want to know how this ends.

Well, this is how you have to look at it. This is you don't have to look at it this way. But from this is how I look at it. I'm yeah, that's the way I look at it, John.

We all we exist in these shifts that we all agree are necessary, like sleep like.

So we have on and off and on and off. And nobody violates that. There's no no one gets to not go off on and off.

You could hold off off for a long time and eventually two days I've been up for 48 hours. Boom.

And you go down you might go down for 12 hours. Right. We all agree that this is a part of this thing that we do so. I think we take comfort in, like, having markers like, oh, it's lunchtime, oh, it's dinnertime, let's watch a show and then I'm to take a shower and go to bed and, you know, it gets to you get to these markers or they're in your head and it kind of makes life make sense.

Like you just looking forward to the next thing and looking forward to the next thing.

But if you knew for a fact that this life goes on forever, forever and ever and ever go on a million eons, you've got to get it right. Right.

If this life doesn't give a fuck what the 1950s were like or what kind of cars people drove in the 70s, it's life doesn't give a fuck.

It's just going to do the same thing again over and over and over and over and over again. Yeah, there's some kind of. Yeah, maddening. Kind of. It's crazy. What if it's even worse? Talk to me. Do what if you start off as a single celled organism again. Right.

And you go to work your way all the way through it like yeah, reincarnation is real but it takes millions of years.

Would have reincarnation.

Incarnation is real.

But what if you like, you get to the top of the game and then boom, start off as a bug and you go through the whole thing, go through the whole thing all over again until you become you again the exact same you confronted by the exact same situations with different outcomes, maybe like a hint, like something in the back of your heads, like, hey man, I think we've done this before. I don't do it this time.

Hey, man, but that's don't run that yellow like it's too long. Hey, don't run that yellow boom.

But that's what makes it interesting is to have a recollection of the previous you know, that's that's what would change. And, you know, I focus too hard. Yeah.

I sometimes I feel like you. Do you have something?

Because we know that, like, dogs have like serious instincts, man, like crazy instincts that are built in.

They all have them like where's that coming from?

Where are they getting the information? Why do they know to smell piss? Why do they know to pee on the spot that another dog did? Like, I didn't have to teach my dog that they I do it. Every dog does it. It's like, where is that information? Right. What is happening to that dog that wants to do that? And where it get that from? I think it's getting it through.

It's genetics, getting ancestors.

So there's some sort of a membrane or programming that the ancestors have left in the thing. It's not a blank slate. Dogs are not blank slates.

I mean, they say everything has, you know, some kind of level of programming, even plants at the molecular level. They say they have like kind of like a binary code in there. If you look deep down inside, I've read stuff online and it's like I kind of believe that it's all part of like some kind of program of some sort.

Well, they know plants communicate in really weird ways. Yeah. They use the mycelium, I think that's what it's called. They use essentially fungus in the dirt and the the soil that they live in, they they transmit data from plants to plants. And if there's a group of plants in like a community of plants and one of them needs more resources, like if it needs more water, they'll allocate more water to that plant. It's very weird, weird stuff.

They've shown that it really does benefit their growth. If you play music near them like classical music and talking to plants like all that wacky hippie shit, no shit works.

I remember there wasn't like making that up. I'm not right. No, that's real. Right.

OK, that seems like one of those ones I can get called out like I remember reading this case study like it was in college, but so there was a doctor who had water. Right. And, you know, before he froze the water, he would when he would say nice things, the next one he would say, like, really mean obscene things. And then he would freeze it. And then the pattern of which the ice would kind of crystallize, like the one he said, mean things to like the ice would crystallize in a very dissonant way, like like the pattern didn't look proper.

And then the one where he said all these nice things, it was a very beautiful, repetitive, organic, like crystallization happening.

If that's true, I don't think it is because I'm pretty sure they debunked that.

But that's one of those ones that I have to be real careful with because I'm wishing for it to be true.

Like, I hear shit like that and I go with Alvie Dope, if you could see that, like thoughts and feelings actually come out in your words and they affect physical objects. But I think I read it that was debunked. Oh really. Yeah.

But I think it's one of those things eved, like it's almost like the quantum leaping I've read, you know, stuff like that where you put your intentions in the water and it's kind of at its earlier roots. It's kind of like, you know, when we have a shot of of whiskey, it's like, hey, cheers. And it's putting like, you know, to your good health. Yeah.

To a positive intention in motion. And you feel it. Yeah. You definitely feel that. Right. Like that's that's interesting because I think we inherently know that it's a real thing, like you feel it. So that's I think one of the reasons why we want to see it. That's why we would think that like seeing it in the ice crystals would be cool.

Yeah, it's like under a microscope when he saw the ice, it's like you could see that design. Yeah. But I mean, you know, 80 percent of our body is water. It's like to think that there's not some kind of like living thing, that it's affected by emotion and reactive to our words which go into plants, you know. Yeah, because we know those feelings, like when you run into someone that is mad at you or someone who's said something bad about that feeling, so.

Mhm. Yeah.

And if you see someone that you miss like oh it's up. Right. There's that feeling, you know, like the feeling that you get what a great song comes on, you know, that feeling where it's like everything fucking charges up.

You're like yeah. Yeah. Changes your mood. And so workout playlist. Yes. Exactly, exactly.

So I think sound and you know the you know, the sound that one can make is like the language could be different. But I think the vibration that stems from here, there's something that happens between here and here. When it comes out that's it affects it affects people. It's like you can have somebody not speak the language and yell at you to know that, oh, this guy is pissed.

Yeah. Just give you that look like I'm going to get out of here.

You're right. If someone's mad at you and they're speaking some language, you don't know. It's almost like pure OK.

You feel it like an energy. Like I don't know what this guy's saying, but I, I get his intentions. Intentions are very, very obvious despite the language gap.

Yeah. And to bring it full circle, like even dogs like I have, I have a phobia of dogs, you know, I have a terrible phobia of dogs. I'm better now. But, you know, I got attacked when I was younger. But I can tell you that dogs like they sense it.

And I've been bit multiple times, unfortunately, and it keeps happening. But it's because of my nervous energy. They they they pick it up, you know, it's like, hey, what's up? And then they're charging at me. They smell cancer.

They've taught dogs to smell cancer, which is so crazy.

They take cancer to put in test tubes and the dog will run down the aisle as they were trying to teach dogs to smell people I had covered.

Oh, wow.

That's the airport is like, what could they do that? I don't know. Oh, my God.

How Coveny would you have to be the dog to smell it?

I think they would try out if they were successful because it doesn't everybody have like a few cancer cells in your body breaks down those cancer cells.

I think that's the key, is that like when you get, like, really ill with cancer, your body's just not stopping the reproduction of these damaged cells. So I think if the dog can smell it, they can always smell it. When you got, like, real cancer, not like what normal people the amount of cancer cells, people have it. I'm like, how many cells can they smell?

I have a theory that that the dogs like the smell that they're trained to smell is like there's something in the sweat is like somebody's sweat that that radiates either the smell of, you know, when somebody is diabetic or when somebody, you know, it's like they have or high blood pressure, they have these dogs to kind of pick that up. You know, there's a very specific smell to somebody when when when they're, you know, diabetic or in this case, covid, you probably exert some kind of smell.

Yeah, right. They can tell when people have a diabetic attack, right? Yeah. Or when someone is about to get a panic attack, there's a certain level of perspiration that the body provides to to to warn. It's a it's a you know, when somebody faints, you know, they start to sweat. And that's a mechanism that the body does to help you wake up. You know, your body goes cold after. So it's a certain level of sweat.

You know, it's like, you know, we drink coffee, we go to the restaurant, we smell when we go, No. One take a piss like, oh yeah, I drank coffee earlier. I the weirdest is asparagus. Asparagus is like, yeah, like I shouldn't be.

This Fox is doing my best instant to. Yeah. Right away. One little piece I know in the crazy like how is it so instant.

Like you chew that asparagus and within five minutes you're peeing asparagus smell thing.

Now I'm paying radiator fluid. It's we like how's it going through exactly. How quick is this stuff work. What is it. It's interesting now everybody's fascinating. Well, life is fascinating, you know, it is it's just like this is what we're here at life through, peering at life through the lens of being a human being.

But all of it is fascinating, man. I get I go down these nature video rabbit holes. Yeah. Usually it's like one of those nature is metal Instagram posts that gets me.

Oh, that, that that account is another lead.

You can't watch that before going to bed. I'm oh I'm like, oh boy, no.

I made the mistake of watching these. I think they're wild dogs tear apart. This is like some sort of antelope. They're disembowelled and they were spinning around and it was either hyenas or wild dogs. They're tearing this thing apart while it's alive.

And I'm like, whoa, daddy. Yeah. There was one where I saw that there were like in in like biting the leg, the butt, the the neck and the the animal's still fighting for life.

And the hyenas didn't care that I don't give a fuck.

They see the entire alive dude. We are so divorced from what nature is.

We're so separate from it. We're so like so delusional. It's so we're so delusional that people try to get closer to the scarier animals to take pictures with them.

Not I'm not thinking that they're on the menu. Big ass giant bears. And that lady in was it South Carolina that got eaten by the alligator.

She was trying to take a selfie with the alligator. Yeah, she's trying to get close to alligator and just fucking hate her.

It's like, what, years ago do you remember this story where this woman was? And like, we're doing a safari and she got out of the van because it was an argument.

Yes. And the lion or the tiger was sitting.

Waiting.

That was in China. She she got mad, I believe it is in China. She got mad, stepped out of her car and was yelling. And then someone goes gets out of the car to talk to her. Come on, get back in the car.

And then it's fucking tiger comes up, just snatches her and drags her away.

And what was fucked up is it was even her that died.

It was actually her mom that died. Her mom went after her with the tiger. That tiger killed her.

Oh. So this girls are the first girl got away and. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah.

I think she was just in an argument with somebody.

Yeah. And it's like for, for the tiger it's like a like a hot pocket as soon as the doors opened. Yeah.

They can't help themselves. This is my number one problem with the zoo.

You you can't just feed them because they don't want that. They want to kill things. Right.

So you've turned them into couch potatoes, you know, and that's they're going to live and they're going to die and you're going to feed the meat, which means that animals have to die.

If you want to not be cruel, you should have those animals kill animals. That's what it should be. It should be like they are in the wild or as close to it as it can get. And you can't just feed them meat tray and expect them to be happy.

That's it. Logically, they they lose something, right? It's like they get depressed. It's like it's what does a mammal instinct to work for something.

They're designed to go chase shit and kill it here. It says the lady said, I don't look like a deer and move closer to the alligator, apparently trying to touch it. The ten foot alligator estimated 400 to 500 pounds, then attack Colvert, who officials said was five feet tall and 100 pounds.

This crazy lady decided that she was going to touch a fucking alligator. It's just I mean, it's not even her fault.

Like she didn't people don't get it drilled into their head with what an alligator actually is.

These are dinosaurs that live amongst us. It's not just an alligator. You give it a name and then it's in your head. Oh, there's the alligator. Oh, there's an alligator. Well, that's a fucking giant reptile. Put that back up again so I could read that one part of it that it is a giant reptile and they have no brain.

There was tiny little fucking brain animal giving there, latched on to coverts leg and begin pulling her into the water.

Oh, Kreiss witnesses ran to the water's edge, tried rescuing her.

A neighbor brought the rope that was used to try to pull culvert safely back to the shore. Amid the rescue attempt, witnesses report cover very calmly, saying, I guess I won't do this again. She was pulled underwater moments later. Witnesses said cover never even screamed during the attack.

Holy shit.

Wow. She's probably in shock. Yeah, she's probably in full shock.

It happened so quick. I mean, those things move so damn quick. Alligators still holding on her body.

Her body was finally surfaced across the pond with the alligator still holding her by the leg. It quickly dragged her back underwater. Deputy said, Jesus Christ. When the alligator resurfaced with coverts body again, a deputy fired several shots from his nine mm service pistol killing the alligator and allowing the first responders to retrieve coverts body, according to the sheriff's office. So that cop killed a.

Monster that ate a lady that just lives in the neighborhood, like here's the thing, we get used to the fact that alligators live places, right?

So it's not a big deal, you know? Oh, yeah, there's an alligator. If you live in Florida, like I lived in Gainesville for a bit.

That's how alligators all the time you see him, if there was no alligators and then all of a sudden there was alligators, we'd want to kill them all. If alligators came from outer space like a fucking UFO filled with crocodiles from outer space and just started eating swimmers, we'd be like, we got a gun, these fucking things down.

We're going to kill them. Right? They're going be people. Sure. But they were already there, but they're already there.

So they're like, oh, Florida Gators. Go, go, go, go, go, go. People eating monsters. Oh, man. Yeah.

And you see, like, you know, footage of, like, you know, golf courses with these alligators. Just chilling, chilling.

Just like people laughing who look like he's right there due to baby got eaten by one at Disneyland last year.

A baby. The alligators at Disney. Yes. Do they have to they have to fucking chase him away.

Oh, wow. Yeah, I went there.

I went there with my family and my youngest daughter and I went fishing. We went out on to this lake and we're going bass fishing. It was really fun, was great. Florida's like the best bass fishing in the world.

But everywhere you looked, catalog's alligators and a lot of gator, what does that sound like?

A fucking dinosaur is going to eat me, bro. They get huge, huge, like 15 feet. Yeah.

And that's common. That's not a like. Oh, yeah, normal. That's a normal normal shit.

It happens all the time. There was one we went back and forth on this Jamie. That was we couldn't find it at first.

The one where the alligator was stopped.

Traffic probably. It's crazy. Oh I for one, I just it's well they're all crazy but it's crazy. It's like here you are driving your car in this. I don't give a fuck. Dinosaur is just walking across the street. Right.

Well, hey, they they're building these, you know, they're building cities on their in their neighborhood. So sort of the real thing is they're overpopulated. They're over. Pop, look at that thing.

What the fuck, bro? Holy you. Imagine you're on your way to your car. What are you doing, baby? Come on. You know, you got like a pack of gum and a fucking Diet Coke and you looking for your keys and you look in fifteen feet away from you. That thing is walking across the median.

What, some poor guy twirling a sign going, I'm going to go inside for a little bit.

I'm look at that price stork monster. Like, just look how it walks. What a ruthless, heartless it doesn't care, right, monster, someone sent me a video trying to find it to show you, but like the two alligators fighting in the middle of, like a residential street and they got the other by the head of the video, like these guys are filming. It's like four or five minutes. One guy goes and try to grab the tail to, like, pull them apart.

Doesn't work. And all my jokes get in there.

What's interesting is the alligator is the commer of the species. And because it's the karma of the species, it allows it to live alongside people.

And people tolerate it because you see an alligator and keep playing that because it's freaking me out. Yeah, I just want to I just want to see a move that we tolerate that.

But we won't tolerate crocodiles. You know why? Because you can't. Because crocodiles just kill everything they find. Right. Crocodiles kill people every day. Like every time they're around people, they try to kill them.

Alligators let most things slide, you know, so you can kind of. And that's one of the reasons, I think, why they made it this long. Like they have a different attitude about things. They're less aggressive with the crocodiles, too much of a threat. The balance of the ecosystem is so fucked up like somebody released because Florida is crazy. Somebody released a couple of Nile crocodiles in the Everglades and I just found them and they issued a shoot on sight.

Just kill them. If you fight, you have to kill. You have to kill them. You can't let them survive.

Like if you see a Nile, because if they take hold and they start taking up real estate in the Everglades and breeding breeding populations of Nile crocodiles in that fucking already unmanageable shithole of pythons.

Maro Dansa, imagine imagine if there was a spot in Florida that's just filled with monsters. Just call it monster soup. Yeah. Fuck all the Everglades. What do you got, a 20 foot pythons and Nile crocodiles.

There was a there was a crocodile or.

Oh, shit like this. And alligators swimming in a Texas lake with a knife in its head. Oh no.

Why in the fuck sugar. Like the guy who tried to stab him in the head with the knife inside his stomach? Oh, my God.

Yeah, that guy's gone. Look at that. Knife is deep in its head to see. That's what I'm saying, man. You can't have something in your community that could just swim around with a knife in its head and be fine with it, you know?

I mean, the animal would be freaked out, like, what's up, guys?

What's that on your head?

Bob, I don't know if a raccoon had a knife and attacked me like you're trying to pull that fucking knife out of its head. Where'd you get the hat, Bob? I don't know. Some guy gave it to me.

Yeah, that thing's just swimming around. I don't even know. I can't say there is an alligator in a parka out.

And what is the Harbor City? There's like a little park. I forget the name of the park, but somebody had dumped one in there or something concrete and it was just taken down ducks. It's like a bunch of ducks go there. And I was just thinking about ducks. And I guess the family spotted it and they closed down the park until they got it out. And they, you know, they they did some mitigation there with the with the swamp to clean it up because it was it was filthy.

People were throwing stuff in there.

Did you see the video from Mexico of the cartel guy had a tiger and the tiger got loose and these dudes are chasing the tiger down the street is chasing them? Yes.

They're on this road with the lasso these fucking Mexican cowboy dudes know. Yeah, man. And they're trying to lasso this tiger. What? What?

Yeah, they got a tiger and they lassoed it and see again. If the tiger gets upset and just decides to jump on one of them.

It's game on. It's game over the look at it. Look at Hellboy this recently. Passman It happened last week.

Oh, my God. Well, it was last week ish. Yeah, it was going around on Twitter.

So, look, there's one guy with a tan in shorts. Yeah. We showed up around and look at these cowboys. Oh my goodness. This guy's got a chair in front of us. Do you think that's going to help you, bitch?

Oh, my God. Look at the size of the thing looking lassoed. It broke.

Those fucking cowboys are begging for ass. Do you know what kind of a badass you got to be to throw a fucking lasso around a tiger's neck on a street? And what what city?

Yeah, what part of that? Guadalajara. Well, I mean, my mom's from hysterical Guadalajara and someone's got a tiger.

Imagine getting that call from the boss is like an idiot to go get my tiger.

Well, you know, what the fuck did you just say, bro? Yeah, man, that's there.

That's insane. It's like I don't know why people who want, you know, that those kind of pets is like it's not something that you can tame.

It's wild people, people like Mike Tyson. When he was champ, he had tigers. That's right. We had a hilarious conversation about it. He was about a horse first.

Right. He was trying to get a horse.

And then the guy said, if you wanted to get your tiger, he's like, you give me a tiger or something like that. Yeah, Tyson. But I love that Tyson is into pigeons. Like, that's one of my favorite. That's my favorite animal. I'm just so enamored with pigeons and they're like, you know, they say the rats of the sky. But man, there are so resilient. Like they're not supposed to thrive the way they do.

And they do.

Yeah, they're an invasive species. They're actually from Europe. They're I think they're from Europe. Might be Asia, I don't remember.

But a pigeon was brought over here for food. They're brought over here. Yeah. They're like, you know what squab is. I don't know if you heard of it. Like the meal squab. No, it's on menus like fancy places.

It's pigeon that. Yeah, there's the scent. Oh, squab is on the menu. Excellent. So how did you find chardonnay. Squab is just pigeon. I yeah. I love pigeons.

There's something to be sure that's true. I'm pretty sure it's true. I think squabs like a baby pigeon as like, like lamb is baby sheep.

Watch it be goat chest meat.

I don't think so. A young unpledged pigeon. Yeah. Wow. So it is like it's like veal but the pigeon version of veal.

Oh that's, that's weird. That's, that's the one animal is like pigeons. I love pigeons, I love goats.

But it's good to know that you can kill them and eat them. Yeah. Yeah. People eat them for sure. Yeah. People eat them quite a bit but rats eat them.

You ever see the video. The rat eating the pigeon in New York City. New York rats are resilient. A, I've seen I've now seen a rat slice of pizza, right, a pigeon hole through the rats killing, killing and eating a pigeon, you know, they're going to rat war right now.

Is rat war going on in New York City?

I hope someone's documenting this because it's really interesting because this for the first time ever, rats don't have a steady food supply. So all these groups out there, people aren't going to the restaurants, not nearly as many. So this is rat killing a fucking pigeon.

PMS crazy like Ligi hunted it, he's biting it by the neck and he's holding on to the fucking pigeon and killing it.

So what's going on in New York City is cannibalism rap wars where rats are invading other rats territories because there's as many, if not more rats in New York City as there are people. Really?

Yeah, there's a lot riding the subway, like everywhere. Tunnels and and there's so they're getting their food from these regular sources that now dried up. So now they're moving into new territories, apparently. So I'm reading. Yeah.

And they're attacking each other now. Look, here it is. Rats growing more aggressive, even eating each other during the pandemic. Yeah. Same ravenous rats.

A warning for New York City didn't suck enough. It's going to be a bunch of rats are trying to kill you.

That's I mean, everyone's stacked on top of each other during this pandemic, and it's the worst place to be in a pandemic stacked on top, everybody.

That makes sense with this whole pandemic stay at home thing. It disrupted their their food supply. There's no way they could survive.

So, yeah, I don't mean New York sucks either. I mean, it sucks right now to be in New York and now you've got murderous rats.

Although it's interesting to see, like Mark Norman was doing a bunch of shit was just going down the street and no one on the streets. It's a really, really rare time when no one's on the streets. And you could just go do that.

Yeah, I went to downtown L.A. I've been going to downtown L.A. and it's all the Santee alleys and all that. It's gone. People cannot sustain the the you know, the closedown. You know, they don't have money to pay for the leases and the rents. It's it's a ghost town down there. It's crazy. And some people have opened up shops. I've noticed that they open up shots, but a lot of them, they're not opening again.

It's scary. Like there's no traffic I can get from where I live to downtown L.A. in like 20 minutes. That's unheard of.

What's going to be real weird to see what happens when they turn it back on again and society goes back?

How long is it going to take for us to even out? Because it's going to be a rocky restart. It's going to be rocky.

Yeah, there's going to be some warm up. You know, it's going to yeah. I saw an article that were saying people are criticizing Governor Newsom for opening up too soon.

I'm like, stay home, stay home, don't tell everybody, stay home, you stay home, right, you stay home enough. We can't just stay home forever. This is not a valid strategy for dealing with a virus is not how it works.

There's all this talk from all this talk like as if anyone has the correct answer.

It is sad. I mean, you know, we were talking about it earlier that, you know, all these businesses are going to go under like the, you know, you know, child care and barbershops and stuff like that. It's like gyms. And they didn't do anything wrong. They didn't they did everything right.

And, you know, you know, maybe in hindsight it's going to turn out that it was the right thing to do and that it stopped the spread of the virus. And even though there was some flare ups here and there, it made people more aware and the virus eventually goes away.

Maybe it's possible, but even if it's not the right thing to do, I think people are just, you know, doing it out of caution because we don't know what it is.

But it's not the only strategy. There was other strategies that could be employed and they could have made people more cognizant of protecting themselves. That would have really greatly slowed the risk of transmission. And I think you could have let people stay working. We tell people they can't work.

I don't I don't like that. You know, I don't like that, not just because it's unconstitutional. I don't like that because I don't like people telling people what to do. And I don't like that because I don't like one person being in charge of figuring out what's right or wrong and how it's one person or 100 hundred people. But what's right or wrong for an entire state of forty million people to do and to make up the mind for them?

Based on what? Based on just because you have voted into office. Right. That doesn't make any sense to me. You should be dealing with like legitimate problems, not controlling the population through some Orwellian mandate. We just deem it that everyone has to stay home. Then you even offer rewards for people. In L.A., the mayor was offering rewards for people turning people in who weren't social distancing.

Yeah, that just that opens up a can of worms. I think it's not all the wrong moves. That's not going to help anyone that you know, when I heard the whole thing that you can basically snitch on somebody not wearing a mask or not doing. You get money.

Yeah. Yeah. You're setting people up to. Yeah, it's it's not a good thing, dude.

It's so do you ever see the article where it says normally it's snitches get stitches, but in this case it's snitches get like they're even calling it a snitch.

And it was an official thing that they released. Oh, my God. Some marketing person was like, yeah, I got the thing. I don't know if it was an official thing or was the article on it?

It was in the L.A. Times or whatever it was.

I was like, what are you saying? This is a terrible idea. You're encouraging people to turn people in for rewards.

Do you not understand psychology like there's people that have grudges against people?

There's people that are they don't like their neighbor.

They're just going to turn each other in. Right.

You can't give people that kind of power, right? You give people the power.

Just say to him, it's him.

He's got the scarlet letter and then then fucking they look up your ass with the microscope, see if you've been social distancing azouz. I got my eye on you.

Six feet, six feet mask. Hand sanitizer. Yeah. Stay safe. Stay home. Watch your head. I'm going into a cop car.

Don't know what the fuck they're doing, man. They don't know what the fuck they're doing. No one knows what the fuck they're doing for them to tell us what to do.

Look, definitely you have to know maybe you should do it that way. Maybe you should wear a mask. You should stay home. Don't don't tell me what to do.

They already have had this on the county page for like snitches get rewards for turning people in for crimes.

Well, right now, crimes I still don't like the reward. The reward should be you're a good citizen. Like if you see someone breaking in someone's car, you managed to catch their plate, you should turn that in because you're a good citizen.

You should cash. You get cash. How much cash? It doesn't say as this is, you receive payment for the business. I'm fixing to change my opinion. Yeah, I don't know man. Yeah, I think a lot of silly stuff.

You give people money for things, you incentivize them. You know, it makes it dangerous because you can't there's an incentive to go one way or the other.

So if someone sees a crime and they want to turn that, you know, they want to give up the information about that crime, whether it's a license plate or description or you got a video or something, that you do that because you're a good person. You don't want your mom to get robbed like that. You do that because you don't want your neighbor to get robbed. You do that because there's a problem in your community. There's a person who's committing a crime.

And as a community organizer, we look we look out for each other. We found this person's fucking up.

Well, like the inception of this program, wasn't it? Like a like a neighborhood watch program. Like you always see that. You always see these signs as like who is in this neighborhood watch program?

Yeah, that's the other thing. How much are they watching? You know, people so lazy.

This is kind of what there's a bunch of actual rewards out here right now. They're looking for information on a bunch of shootings and oh, I'm sure. Twenty five thousand dollar reward, bro.

Here's the thing. They don't have the time. They don't have the time to so many things that are going on in L.A. at all times. Somebody breaks in your house like, did you die?

OK, we got we got to. They're not going to have a full time Columbo on the job, but the fucking dusting for fingerprints of that kind of bandwidth, there's no they don't have that kind of bandwidth. Yeah, hiring people, especially with budget cuts and all that. You know, they don't have that kind of bandwidth and manpower needed to look into everything and do this shit going down in Minneapolis.

It's crazy, crazy, crazy. You see the video, the looting stuff, the video, the looting is crazy.

But the video of the guy, the guy shin on that man's neck while the guy is begging for his life, telling us pumps like it's so heartbreaking because he's he's trying.

And even as he's talking, he's like, officer, I can't breathe.

Like, that guy has got to have some sort of physical training. Right. He's got to I mean, cops do they teach them jujitsu? Some I mean, I mean, but it's like to put the I don't know that any law enforcement is is teaches me on the neck. I mean, no, no, no.

I was going to say it's like it's a shitty thing to do. Like if you did that and jujitsu class people would be really mad at you. They came, came fuck you get off my neck.

You know, like this is you're in the position he was in to handcuffed on the street. So you have one really hard surface where your neck is pressed on the bottom and then him on the top coming down with his shin. That cuts off all blood to the brain, that cuts off your ability to breathe. Like he's got to know that. Everybody knows that if he's got any training at all, he knew what he was doing, which is so fucked up he was killing that guy in front of everybody with a camera on him.

Like, that's what's crazy about it. Like, he he was just doing it right in front of everybody.

Yeah. And you would think after all these that have been filmed, all these of like there's some sort of education to stop this, there's some sort of intervention, there's some sort of psychological examinations to get people to stop them from getting to the point where they can't separate themselves from as a you know, because he's killing a man.

Whatever whatever happened, I don't know. Did they? There was a physical thing. Was there was there a resisting arrest? I don't even know what happened.

No, I don't know what happened leading up to it. And I know there was more officers there eventually. Right. But it's like to it's the other officers not stepping in to put a stop to what he was doing. I mean I mean, that's that's rough as well, man.

There's another one that haunts me. It's there was a story of a gentleman who reached into the cop was in the passenger side window and told the guy to show him his hands. Let me see your while he goes. He reaches for his wallet.

The cop just empties his gun. And I remember how many times he shot it. Empty sound. Very dramatic. No, but he shot him and killed them. And all the guy was doing was reaching for his wallet.

And I remember thinking, like, God damn it, like, how crazy are the interactions between people when you're a cop and you're in that weird position where you literally have life and death power over someone at any moment's notice, you can decide that you were threatened and you had to take a life.

And if no one's there with a camera, how many times how many times you guys died like this where no one was there with a camera? Right. How many times it was like he was resisting arrest and he died? Oh, guess so. I guess he's dead. No big deal. And I trust the paperwork that.

Yeah. That person fills out.

Oh, he shouldn't have got drunk. I guess he died. Too bad we didn't. There's no video. But then you see the video of that guy with his shin on that man's neck and you're like, God damn, yeah.

If you have any training at all, you know, you're killing that guy.

And that's that's probably the the part of the problem there is like not having the proper training. Like you said, if you have any kind of jujitsu training like you would be.

I don't know, man. I don't know. He might have just killed that guy. It's hard to say, dude. I think people that work as cops are just like their people. They're exceptional people because it's a very difficult job. Right. They're tested in a way that most of us are not tested, but they're just people. And there's a giant spectrum of people from people that are like genuinely happy for other people and good people. Do you know, who love each other and do.

And then it's fucking monsters. There's monsters.

You know, I was watching the Unabomber Unabomber documentary on Netflix. It's really fucking creepy, man. Yeah, but one of the parts that's the creepiest is like when he was really young, when he was a baby, he got sick and the doctors took the baby from the parents for a long time, like weeks. And when the baby came back was never the same again. It was like detached and never, never focus sick. But it was also that it was not with its mother for weeks and something happened to it.

And then he grew up just to, like, lack empathy and always have this, like, anger inside of them. Very fucking creepy man.

Very creepy. So just like people are like that, right?

So are cops. The vast majority of interactions people have with cops don't end up like that are fine. And I've had of the vast majority of all interactions I've had with cops, particularly before I was even famous, were positive and respectful. I grew up around cops. My martial arts background was always trained with cops. I knew cops constantly.

They're just people and people. They vary. The problem is when you give people the ability to have that kind of power over other people that I can shoot you.

If I think you might have a gun, I don't have to see the gun. I could just start shooting you like that. Or maybe you just so PTSD out that you just think it's gun. You see a gun. There's no gun there. You just losing your fucking mind cause you seen too many people die over the last couple of months. That's possible, too, man. Cops are in a constant state of alert. They're pulling people over.

They never know if they're ever going to see their kids again. They don't know. They don't know what the fucking windows tinted the rap music.

Now I smell the weed.

Fuck, they don't know. They don't know. You could be. A bunch of cool guys out going to get something to eat, like, hello, sir. Sorry, sir, here's my license. Everything's fine.

Or you could be a cartel member. Like, they don't know. They have no idea.

You're always interviewing people that are lying. You're always talking to people are trying to get away with something. And then you see violence every day.

You see gunshot wounds and knife wounds and fuck, you're on the edge. When cops commit suicide at a staggering rate, it's really kind of crazy.

It's like it's I don't know if it mimics soldiers, but soldiers commit suicide at a very high rate, too. And I think for a lot of them, it's just a regular life in comparison to the chaos of war and the chaos of of the violence that they run into on the streets. If you're a cop, sometimes it's just incompatible, like regular life. It's just like you're too fucked up from it.

And I don't know how many of those guys get treatment, how many of these guys get therapy or how many of these guys go into that job for the wrong reasons. They go into that job because they like having power over people. There's those kind of cops, too. Yeah, but then there's great cops. This idea that we should hate cops is nuts. We should hate a human being's actions. We should hate that a human being could do that to another human being.

You know, I don't know why he was so mad at that guy.

I don't know what if it was pure racism, if there was in some sort of interaction that didn't go well, I don't know what it was. But him holding that guy down with a sheknows knee, it's like especially when you watch because you know how it goes, like, fuck, man, it's it's gut wrenching.

It's heartbreaking. It's it's so unfortunate that that man shouldn't have died. And it just it's awful what that officer did to not have the the empathy or sympathy to to to see what was before him. It's like, hey, you're hurting this man. It's like he's already handcuffed. I mean, it just it's heartbreaking, bro.

It's it would be shocking if he beat him to death while he was handcuffed. It would be shocking if we watched him just kick that guy to death. It would be insane. But somehow or another, he thought it was OK if he just put all of his weight on a shin and put it on that man's neck.

Dude, I don't know if anybody's ever done that to you, but people have done that to me in jujitsu. I've had guys like when they're passing, maybe they go for a mounted triangle or some. Then they put their shin across my neck and not even for long periods of time. But it's hard to handle. It's hard to handle for someone who does jujitsu. It's one of the reasons what triangle chokes are so effective, right?

It's because it's your your leg bone and your other leg bone, all the leg muscle and all that pressure triangulates shit compared to like putting all your weight on the guy's neck. You know why? Because you don't get tired of doing it. If I have someone in a triangle, if I'm on my back and I just think that weight on a person's.

Exactly. So if I have someone in a triangle, I have to squeeze I have to use my legs and I use my arms. But if I'm on top of someone with my shin on his neck, I have to do anything. I just balance and put all my weight on it and I'll die.

You can kill someone that way, and the fact that that guy just thought he could do that in front of everybody is it's that's crazy. You all you have to do is put it if you thought the guy was trying to get away. It's a jujitsu moves called neon belly and you've got them flattened out. So you put neon back and you just put your knee on his back and you could hold him there and you'd be OK.

Right. You can do the same thing. You hold the body, you just pull your shin, you put your instep right up to his body. You put all your weight on your shin and you just hold him there.

You're a cop. You've got a handcuff guy. You don't have to put your fucking shin on his neck. But where's it coming from? Right, that's that's what we have to figure out like is it just do do do some people just need to be stopped before they ever become cops?

Maybe this maybe it's that maybe it's the the the fact that somebody like that can become a cop, it's like Diddy. But that's the question. Did he was he always like that or did he become like that? Did he become like that because of the stress of the job? They become like that because of who knows whatever reason. It is it is it racist, could he do that to a white guy, too? Could he only do that to a black guy who is resisting?

But when you start seeing a pattern, you know, it's like it's a lot of a lot of lives being lost in the same way, in the same manner. It's like you start to raise questions is how can you make an argument against for what it is? It's in plain sight. You know, it's a pattern now. Yeah, it's a pattern.

But it's also it's just a pattern with cops that it's not just a pattern in that, you know, cops are killing young black men, but it's also a pattern that cops really there's certain cops who really can't handle that kind of power. They can't handle that position. They they turn bad just like this. Corrupt politicians. There's corrupt cops. And they might not be corrupt in terms of being on the take, but they're corrupt in terms of like what they'll do to get a case closed.

They plant guns. We've all seen that shit. We've all seen videos. There's a video of a guy shooting a guy in the back and he throws a gun on the ground at the guy's feet.

Yeah, dude, this is they've been doing that since the beginning of time. They plant drugs on people. Cops have been busted planting drugs on people numerous times. There was a cop that was drug. He was busted planting drugs on someone with his own body cam. The footage from his own camera showed him planting drugs on a guy like they're cops, but they're people. That's the problem with what a cop is. It's like you're given extraordinary powers to an ordinary person.

That's what being a cop is. You have to be an exceptional person to be able to handle that. And the truth is, most of them are. That's why you're you're not hearing this every day. All over the world, cops are having interactions with people that are positive all the time. And it's hard to do for them.

And you don't hear about it.

It's just the ones that stand out are the ones where it goes horribly wrong like that. But it's not indicative of all cops. That's why it's so crazy. And I don't know what they can do about that other than have stricter standards to keep people like that from becoming cops, or is it just that the job makes them that way? Is it just that the stress makes them that way? And seeing all the criminals dealing with all the crime scene, all the violence just fucks them up so bad?

Yeah, even even there was a case here in L.A. in Boyle Heights where there is a man who was not fighting back and the officers going in and just like just fine him to the point where he the officer rips his glasses off and starts wailing on the guy that is completely not fighting back.

And the people there was a home there and the people from the home come out and they're like, hey, you know, he's not fighting back, what are you doing? And he's telling people to stay back. And and, you know, there was another officer trying to kind of calm the thing. But, man, that officer was wailing like teeing off on this guy who would, you know, just holding on to the fence. Just it was it was right there in Boyle Heights.

An unbelievable to see that. So there's something definitely broken and wrong. I mean, I don't know what it is.

I mean, well, it's I think it's a lot of things. It's a lot of people that are on edge no matter what. The people are angry. Now, you give that person the position of power like a police officer.

Then you put them around crime for years and years and years. They feel underappreciated.

Their life's in danger. Every day they see their fucking cousin who manages a restaurant is lives on danger. Like, what the fuck? This is the guy. Yeah, that's the guy.

Look. Oh, man. He's not fighting back at all. Oh, man. They just punched him in the back of the head. These are terrible, sloppy pungency glasses off. First of all, I would make that guy stay after class.

I mean, like everything you did, you have zero leverage in your punches. You're so fat, you can't even you can't have a manhal. This big gentleman. First of all, this big gentleman barely even noticed that you did all that. Look at this. He's just hanging on like, bro, you just punched me a bunch of times. You shouldn't do that. But at least this big guy is smart enough to not punch him back. Because there's a real good argument that he should flatline that cop, but but yeah, no, just a guy with a gun who's got a badge and a job and he just wails on you and you can't do that back.

Like, that's not how you're supposed to act when you're a cop. The guy's not even moving Tsong. He's running away or fighting him and trying to get away.

It's just it's heartbreaking when you see stuff like that is like, bro, he should just let that guy keep punching.

Just hold on, keep punching. Keypunch. That guy was about to have a heart attack. He had like three or four more punches left in them. They would have fall to the ground.

Is big old barrel chested and skinny arms, terrible punches. That's an embarrassment to the martial arts and to the police department.

YouTube, Gosta YouTube comments are just roasting the cop for being like not being able to what you're saying.

It was a terrible technique. But first of all, here's the reality. That guy that he was trying to hit and take down was enormous. Yeah, he could have hit that guy all day long with his bitch ass punches.

It's not going to work. OK, I was big that guy's neck like a fucking football player. Yeah, he was like a pro wrestler or something. The guy was enormous and he wasn't taking that guy down.

And if that guy decided to just pick him up by the neck and fucking pile, drive him into the concrete, he couldn't said shit about it. Right. The only thing that saved him is that he was a cop. But that's probably why he did it in the first place. It's probably why he became a cop. You know, those psychological flaws, I feel the same way.

You know, I.

I feel like cops are in a sense, they're so necessary and yet so disrespected and underappreciated. And then they're also forced into doing things that are that are not what they signed up for, like giving people tickets, like cops become glorified revenue collectors.

If you just make them sit hiding behind a bush, wait for someone to go 49 on a 45 like I got them pull over.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's not what a cop signed up for this. They've signed up to stop bad guys and make the community safer.

And then it opens up a whole thing with, you know, you know, Fourth Amendment probable cause.

You know, you get stuff for one thing and it opens the door for four other things on Snoop Dogg's page, he's got a really good video of a good cop talking about what these cops did wrong. And I love that Snoop Dogg. Yeah.

And Snoop Instagram. I love to Snoop put it up there, too, because he said, here's a good cop and a good cops take. And I agree with everything the cop said, dead on about everything, about all of it.

And he you know, he's an actual police officer.

But I like the fact that Snoop put that up there. I got to check it out.

Oh. Attacking people in downtown L.A. Do you see those cops that were trying to drive through downtown L.A.? They have a march.

They're smashing their windows like those are not the same people. Those are not the people that did that. That one guy who had his shin on that guy's neck. Yeah, you're right about him. But these are not those people. These are just other cops. Yeah, this is this is the guy. This is a good video. Yeah. Play a little bit.

Let's talk things that happened in Minneapolis. Cops standpoint. Right. I'm disgusted with the things that happened in Minneapolis. Pierpoint Blank Things could have went way different at the end of the day. Let's talk facts, guys on the ground. He's laying on his stomach. He have handcuffs on. Is four of y'all one of him, four of y'all. One of him who has control of the situation is not much one person could do against four people. Now, let's get deeper.

Right. As an officer, you are first responder, right? So if in the midst of you trying to gain compliance, someone is hurt, you have to render aid. So somebody saying, I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I can't breathe. You don't think to yourself and say, oh, my gosh, this guy can't breathe, he might die. Let me render aid right now. The point officers, other officers, if you're going to be an officer, is going to stand there and not help and not help when things go wrong.

Come on. Like you don't see that. That's the reason I got behind his badge. Right. Because I wanted them officers that's afraid to step up. I want to be the one to step up if I see wrong happening wrong. It's not happening in my presence. Right. I'm going to check it. And that's period.

Jimmy, pull the top down so I can find out what the dude's name is, because I think just said from a good cop.

Yeah. Who counts right there.

It's it's he's got a ticket is that is ticktock account.

JD underscored by J.D. on the score will well shout out to him because he's he just said it perfectly and that's who we want to hear it from. You want to hear it from another cop. You know everything he says 100 percent correct. You have four guys standing around this one guy down, you're in control of it.

It's not to provide aid when somebody is clearly telling you, officer, I cannot breathe and not another cop steps into him, I get your fucking chin off his neck.

You're going to kill him with. So sad, and here's the fucked up thing, if you said. Do I ever think there's going to come a day where there'll be no crime, like no. No, right. Why why is that why is that like an insurmountable thing that will never come to a day when we don't need the police like this is where anarchists lie.

Anarchists feel like you should have no policemen. I don't want the police. We'll work it out together as a community. And that's how you get kings.

That's that's how dudes take over and form an army of other murderers and they fucking start slaughtering people and take over the city and you don't do shit about it. That's where kings come from.

Now you need cops, stupid. You need good cops. You need cops that understand what the job is like.

That guy, a guy who's a big, strong guy who could handle that situation, wouldn't feel compelled to put his knee or his shit on that guy's name. Right.

And can think critically. I mean, he went through all the points of what could have gone different to change the outcome.

Fuck, man, it's just in the middle of all this crazy crisis. It's everything has been such a rollercoaster ride because in the beginning, everything was really scary in terms of worrying about the pandemic. But it seemed like people were being a little more chill. It seems like people were confronted by real danger and we're like a little nicer to each other.

So I had a lot of hope in the beginning of the pandemic. And then somewhere later on, it seemed like businesses started failing, people started going bankrupt, a lot of suicides, a lot of craziness, a lot of drinking, a lot. And then things just got way worse. It seems like the online discourse now, if you go to Twitter, shit like that seems way more aggressive and angry.

Tone is change, of course. The tone. Yeah. And now this. Right. I mean, this is a this is a terrible, terrible situation. So this happens. We all get to experience it in video.

And then in the middle of this horrible financial pandemic, now there's riots and burnings and like, what are they doing in Minneapolis? And they're burning buildings and shit.

There are the buildings and the targets and stuff. But it's.

Yeah, like this. Know. Already the conspiracy theorists are out. I saw some shit on the Instagram where people were saying that federal agents were starting the fires and are doing that to control Minneapolis, they're going to lock everything down.

I always wonder who who's they? Who's they that's doing all that they did on these fires?

Man, there's a lot of fucking fires.

And these are just like what, just people building. So someone's private property got burnt down. Because a cop's a fucking asshole. Why don't I know people are angry, but just running around, burning people's houses, burning people's buildings, that's that's not fixing anything.

God damn it, a lot of fires to be from there.

Look at your city like this is my city. It looks like right now. It's right now you're going to walk around this area that you and your friends burnt to the ground.

And how you're so connected to that act now, if you're one of those guys that threw Molotov cocktail or did whatever you did to light those buildings on fire, when you walk by those things every day, when all this is settled, all the dust has settled. You're going to realize what you did do, you just burnt someone's building down, didn't have anything to do with it. Somebody probably had a job in there. Somebody probably had life's work in that building.

Right. Their life savings to either their business, whatever it is, is that fucking thing to the ground. But the whole situation, it's horrible. Horrible. Yeah.

It's horrible that it's going to keep happening. Right. The cops are going to keep killing people because they're going to make mistakes. It's just how it is and what the solution be.

There is is there any clear cut solution or steps to find one or to arrive at one, you know?

Well, you know, what a great point.

Andrew Young, Andrew Young, when he was running for president, one of the platforms that I really liked, he said he wants every police officer to at least be a purple belt in jujitsu.

Hmm. That's a great piece of advice.

And I don't even think Andrew really practices jujitsu. If he does, I apologize. But I think his thought is that you should be able to control someone's body. You should have the ability and the understanding how to control someone's body because you've seen these scrambles with police officers where they don't have control and they get fucked up. And the cop the guy tries guy gets on top of them and beats a cop half to death and takes his gun, drives his car away.

That shit happens all the time if you don't know how to fight.

And you're also the person that gets to enforce judgment, that's a crazy that's like not knowing how to drive, but being in a race car on a track like you don't know how to drive like so you're in violent altercations, but you don't know how to do violence, right. So you don't know how to fight. And you're a cop.

That's crazy. Crazy. I can't imagine that's like I mean, they'll be like working at the border and not learning Spanish, like, what are you doing?

It's essential to the business you're about to take on. Yes. You're going to do a lot of talk in Spanish, man. You better learn it, learn Spanish.

You're going to be around a lot of violence. You better understand violence. Better not just be some fucking barrel chested fatso cop with spaghetti arms. Well, in a way, it's some guy that barely notices it.

God damn it, Jaysus, it makes you know, another thing is it just makes me feel sad.

Like when a story like that is on the news, I just feel sad. I just feel bad.

Just feel like you feel like there's like, like a psychic funk that travels over the land, you know, and it's the energy we were talking about, you know, it's like those things do affect do do affect, you know, how someone feels and you know.

Yeah, it's your I keep saying over and over again, I sound like a broken record, but it's heartbreaking. Like you you feel that that pain and in this area.

And I always feel like the only way I could ever address those things now is to talk about them like people say, why don't you post about that on social media when something happens?

I'm like, that's not I mean, I could and I certainly do with some things.

But sometimes, like, this is like that's something I want to talk I want to talk through because it's so hard to be had and, you know, you got to talk it through.

But also, like, if you're going to give your take on it, the best way I think is talking because I feel like you're going to write some caption on Instagram photo.

It's not for me, at least it's not the best way for me to express myself.

Yeah, you want to talk it out, think it through and. It is also like a lot of celebrities doing hot takes on things. You know, I'm saying, like, every time something goes down, they go to this guy, like, what is he going to say? Go to her? What is her feelings?

Right. You know. And then the celebrities sit there like I'm trying to get a lot like this one, really spice it up nice.

You think that's what it is, 100 percent. Yeah, right. 10 percent. Yeah. And it's unfortunate that that's that's the the side that people look to, to capitalize for some kind of clout or, you know, I think it happens a lot with actors, with actors.

You see it a lot because, you know, there's a lot of cool actors out there, a lot more than I ever thought there were.

But there's a lot of now their fucking minds out of their fucking minds.

Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy cat shit. Crazy out of their fucking mind.

And they any time there's an opportunity to say something or do something to get some clout, you know, they'll just use the right language, use the right hash tags and like, put it out there like a little love bomb.

Just let it float out into the water and boom.

Everybody's really excited that I made that post decrying racism and letting everybody know that women are going to run the world.

I saw a photo is one of the saddest photos I ever saw. Sam Tripoli put it up on this page. It's a bunch of dudes standing around with the future is female T-shirts. I want to hope that someone Photoshop that I really do. I really hope someone Photoshopped it.

Oh, that it's a fake one. Yeah, I hope it's fake. I hope they had, like, IBM t shirts or something. Like they're on some retreat. Look at this.

The future is female. There's all these guys with the shirt on. And Sandra, what does it say, make it smaller so we can all read it, the annual meeting of Jews that report my posts.

I don't know if he wrote that must be his trouble is so funny, man.

He's hilarious.

So there's all these fellows that look like they could use a good crosthwaite class, a repost o x, x, x, x, x, x, x, y, z report accounts.

These days there's loose, loose porn accounts that will try to take you off site to somewhere.

There's only if only fans or what those guys are wearing is just as ridiculous. If they have a shirt on that says the future's masculine, that's just as ridiculous.

I mean, what the future is, is it how about the features humans and, you know, you have to have male and female Ufuk, that's how you make babies Jesus Christ exist.

I'm not trying to shame people make their baby in a test tube. I'm just saying the vast majority we need male and female and we can all be nice. I have a lot of male friends that I love very much. I have a lot of female friends that I love very much. We're all close, male and female.

We can all be cool. We can all come in future. Doesn't have to be female. Jesus Christ.

The future hopefully is a positive one, an uplifting one.

But when someone has a future female shirt on there like they want it to be female, that means I'm going to lean more female than male.

It's like if you want you want to you want real equality, you should hire the best person for the job always. So if you got this job and you're lenient with this guy, seems like he's better.

But he's not a woman and there's a mandate to have a woman, you're going to go with someone who's just a woman. You going to give them a little break because the woman does not equality.

That's not good for anybody. The future is a well qualified person.

That future is a well qualified person. You should have that shirt. So it just shows that be a great shirt on.

The future is a well qualified person. That would be right. I'll be an interesting shirt.

Yeah, interesting to sell the future is all people. So sure it's after a show.

I don't know that that's going to be a thing anymore, but they'll probably go back to that. I mean, you got to think people went back from the Spanish flu to where we are before the pandemic.

But restrictions I mean, restrictions won't allow for it. That's that's the restrictions.

I hope they they lift these restrictions fully. Do you miss on it? Yes.

How can I not miss stand up. I know, man. And now what is this 1918 pandemic photo watching a football game in Georgia Tech, I think, wow, they're all watching a football game with masks on.

That's crazy. Viral and crazy, though, is crazy.

Like we didn't know about this, right? I never thought that. You know, if you asked me about the pandemic, I said, yeah, a bunch of people died from the flu. But I don't think people are walking around with masks on.

Did you?

I mean, we had the maybe that for that full pointy nose. Masterda.

Oh, yeah. Lindsay Shepherd. I know. I'm misinterpreting the name. My head. It's all mixed up right now. I won't say the wrong one. Lindsay Fitzharris shot that southernness. Yeah, it was her, right? I think so. But yeah, that was there in that time period because there was a couple different.

Yeah, it was her. It was about the plague masks. Right. Right. I'm thinking. Yeah, yeah.

It's not like they had herbs and shit down there that they thought it was going to kill the smell of the plague as you breathe it in. That was the idea. You ever seen one of them things? No.

Oh dude, they're freaky looking. It's like an eyes wide shut mask. They wear those and eyes wide shut. Oh, that's been a few things.

It's like a villain or whatever. Yeah, you live like a bird.

So what's going on is that beak is filled with like stuff or herbs.

OK, yeah. Then you smell that walking around with a face mask full of potpourri. Look at the goggle.

Imagine if you knew your girl that you're dating a guy and he seems so cool in every way, but he wants to fuck you with a plague mask on you, you're thinking maybe he's the one maybe you were going to grow together and have babies together and you're dating to cancel 16th century plagues.

So maybe it's just like that was their idea they had back then and it didn't evolve until. Look at this.

But it says 16th century plague doctor mask on display at the sea, that word.

Say that word at the Dugin. Good luck, man made is no this. It's like medicine history.

It's just German. Yeah, Duchenne man seen. His story in Germany is partly history, what a nasty thing to come up an engineer and be like, no, this helps like like the way that they sold us to people and people were like, no, yeah, no. You know, people say that this is a thing. We got to put popery in these mask and smell it.

And I wonder what the what the actual herbs were like, what kind of shit they put in there. That's interesting. Like what?

I guess like menthol or something like how do you make menthol like anything like menthol rum and what's in their lives is that leaves some other stuff, really.

It's like a hito. No.

So what do they say, what they put in those fucking things? I remember Lindsay telling us that it's in there. So it really is potpourri and sponge.

Vinegar sponge. Wow.

The purpose of the mask was to keep away any bad smells known as my asthma, which were thought to be the principal cause of the disease before it was disproven by germ theory.

Wow.

So they thought so they kind of knew it was coming through the nose.

The purpose was some kind of bad fart. They're like, yeah, why is everybody wearing masks? But we let one go.

But it's hilarious that says, you know, to keep away bad smells, but they put vinegar inside. Yeah, vinegar doesn't smell too nice. Smells terrible. It's no lavender.

But imagine how bad people smelled back then. Nobody bathe, no soap, no toothpaste.

Your teeth rot out of your fucking head like hot tomato onion soup hoof. Yeah. I mean, you would you would smell terrible. Your feet would stink. Everything would stink. Wow. That's the image of what people look like when they're dying from the plague.

So back then, when shit would go down, didn't even know what it was, they just prayed to the gods and sacrificing chickens and shit, they don't know what the fuck is going to happen.

Things they used to do back then, it's like let people bleed out because they believed in that it was had bad blood. Now, this guy is like dying because the blood supply is on the roof.

These to use leeches. Wow. However, though the Beke mask has become an iconic symbol of the black death, there's no evidence it was actually worn during the 14th century epidemic. Medical historians have, in fact, attributed the invention of the Beke doctor costume to a French doctor named Charles La Charles Delorme and 16 19. He designed the bird mask to be worn with a large, waxen coat as a form of head to toe protection modeled on the soldier's armor.

Wow.

First worn by doctors during the plague of 16 fifty six, which killed one hundred and forty five thousand people in Rome and 300000 in Naples.

That's a lot of fucking people. Folks like to put it in perspective. I think Italy lost. How many did how many died in Italy? Overall, I feel like it was less than 50. I think it was less than 15. Yeah, what's the full total? Thirty three thousand, yeah. So think about that, right.

We saw those images from Italy. It looked like the end of the world. Right? Right. Like the hospitals overrun and point, it's 3000 deaths.

Now, think about how many deaths they had in Rome and in Naples. They had 300000 in one place and 100000 in another, like everybody was dying.

It's a different thing. So even though. This pandemic sucks a fat one. Yeah, it's we're way better at this shit than we used to be.

Well, good thing they phased out the bird mask. I mean, imagine if was still wearing that using that science.

Actually worked. That would be the Frasier. I mean, if they have these 95 masks, right, what I mean, doesn't some stuff kill things?

It doesn't Garlett kill a lot of shit that killed half the people in the cities in sixteen thirty one. Yeah, look at that. Wow. The population. Wow, wow. One in Verona, they lost 61 percent of their population. There's fifty thousand fifty four thousand people in sixteen thirty by sixteen. Thirty one there was thirty three thousand. They lost sixty one percent.

Holy fuck, man. That's crazy. But the Italians in Italy in a lot of ways have that one thing in common with folks that live in New York City's high density right with them, its density in families, the families all live together.

It's like mom and grandpa and dad and kids built up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're all around each other. They're very social.

They're just giving it to each other or kiss each other and shit that kissing each other, making out while they're sick, drinking wine, smoking cigarettes, are all smoking, executed three plague spreaders which they've been talking about in today's world, people that are like spreaders.

Have you heard that talked about at all that someone's a spreader?

Yeah, like people that are just outspread, mean bad people intentionally. Like they know that they're positive for it. So they executed people who didn't.

Who defied the governor's orders, describing a historical trial and execution of three alleged plague spreaders. It says, well, then they started publishing pamphlets, probably to scare people away from doing well, for sure.

There are people that if they get a disease, they want to give it to. You twisted somebody with a Twitter schwein. Plus, they're angry that they're they're really sick and you're not. Why aren't you sick? You fuck. And they just want to give it to you. There's some selfish people out there.

Oh, terrible, terrible people. So. How long did you work on this set before you put it on your special account? When did you know what the set was going to be?

Oh, I mean, I was I was tweaking I was tweaking stuff right up to it just because I was getting obsessive. I mean, I was you know, I toured with that hour for for that year, you know, and, you know, the paperwork was done by like first quarter, you know, twenty 2019. So. OK, so you knew. Yeah.

So I knew. I knew that I was going to film a special and I thought that was going to film it right away, you know. But then I ended up waiting and I filmed it in November.

Do you think that's better? Do you like it that way?

Like I always feel like every time a film, the special, if I just wait three months later, it would be better.

I well, yeah, I wish I would have waited in a certain sense because once once I taped it, I had some weekends lined up so that I had on the books and I went out there and I found new tags and new stuff and I'm like, man, always man.

That was it didn't sit well. I was like, like a lot of dissonance. And even as I'm editing the thing, I'm like I kind of put the tag right there. I could have said it this way, but it's like it's ever changing. So it's like when does it stop? You know, it's like it's like, you know, I hear it about documentaries. It's like when do you stop a documentary? Because, you know, it could continue, you know, documenting an event forever.

And so it's like at one point you just like, hey, it's a snapshot in time. This is the material I was doing from here to here. This is what I got. Yeah, that's a good way of looking at it.

Yeah. But you're right about never knowing when they're done and you read about documentaries and. Yeah. Documentaries he go on for.

There's some documentaries like, like the Wild Wild Country, the one that's on that call in Oregon. No, I felt like they could have done that for a year.

They could have had I mean, they had so much footage and then tangents, you know, the tangents that could have taken is I what about that person? Let's follow this person. You know, it's it's it's never ending. So you almost just have to, you know, just like. All right, you know, here's a deadline. You know, the checkpoints we were talking about earlier and just going with it. And it's my first special.

I mean, I'm I'm excited for it and I hope it's well received, but I work really hard, man. I don't look at you, handsome bastard.

Look at you wearing this. That's awesome.

Now, once it airs, once it's on Showtime, will it be available on an app afterwards or on iTunes?

Yeah, it's going to be yeah. It's going to be a wide release where people can stream it, you know, on on Spotify or Pandora or, you know. Oh, nice.

But the video version of it, is that going to be on. Yeah. Somewhere for streaming too. Yeah.

That's going to be, that's going to be streaming wide release. But we'll, we'll find out where it's going to go. Hopefully I'll find a home where it could be streaming stuff.

But it's on Showtime Friday night.

Yeah. Friday, 9:00 p.m. Eastern, 9:00 p.m. Eastern, 6:00 p.m. Pacific Time. It did math for you.

You're welcome to stay at home, son. That's awesome.

Twenty nine really is the perfect name for the time.

It's almost like you predicted it crazy. Do you think you did do you think you willed into existence? No. That's like something my mom would do is like she she claims to have a psychic ability, like it's so delayed.

Mom, you know, maybe you did. Maybe you subconsciously somewhere in your head is going down. Should stay at home, stay at home.

I mean, it's yeah. I'm just very excited, very excited that I got to do the special and put it together.

That's awesome. I'm excited for you, man. I know it's going to be really funny. Like I said, I saw a bunch of the shit we worked together at the Improv in the store and very funny stuff.

Thank you man. I'm you know, I'm appreciative for the opportunity to get to work with you, too, man. It's you're very kind. And, you know, seeing you work, too, is like when I get to host shows for you at the Improv or the Comedy Store, it's like it's called a hotspot to sit there and see what you're doing, tweaking stuff. And I remember you working on the Jennifer bit. And when I saw you do that act out of the stool of getting up there, I was like, holy moly.

Like, you're one that constantly changes. And I'm you know, when you perform, I'm always kind of watching what you're doing. And, man, that act was insane.

Well, I had to figure out some way to to, like, make someone whispering in his ear while he's sleeping.

But I also had to make it like it had to be dramatic, like whispering to a sleeping person. I had to, like, crawl in there.

And I wanted to do it in a way like I'm really flexible so I can move in a weird way, you know, so you can move like I think a demon would be. So I had to figure out how to make that funny. Man, it took a long time, that act.

I was exclusive to a Joe Rogan type because, I mean, just the strength that would require to stand the way. You were on top of the stool. And I love when you did that bit at the store because Danny, the sound guy, would dim the lights and it'd be like a spotlight on you in this room. Be completely dark. I'm like, oh, it's an even additive fact. But I mean. But you held it the level of commitment.

I love seeing that, you know, it's just like at first it was like a little shorter, but then I mean, you would you would commit like it would be three or four minutes.

It was like, oh, I.

And to figure out with the tags on that or to those weird as well. But it's also like we're so lucky that we are around other people that are pushing, pushing really good material out to that's like when you're around people that are working on stuff, it's very inspiring.

You know, that that environment at the store is the main reason I stayed in L.A. for this long. Like there's something about that environment at the store.

It's so electric and everybody's watching. Everybody I'm watching. You said you're watching Bobby Lee. Everybody's watching everybody and everybody's Edwards.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Owen Smith. And everybody's getting this sense of, you know, the level of comedy now. It's very high.

Yeah. But the story is like a petri dish of just like success. Like, you see, like it's so conducive. It's set up in such a way that it makes a comedian work hard and try to figure it out. And even more so now. I mean, all the big guys are like killing it. So it's like if you show up, even if it's a one a.m. slot, it's like you better bring it, man.

You know, it's like going at the store. Yeah. Writing and figuring all the when you think we're coming back, if you had to guess July.

Like full on, backpack, full on, I'd say there'll be a level of coming back in July, I think Fourth of July would be a big thing. So yeah, people want to go out and. Yeah, but I think September, September, as my roll of the dice, September, September, mid-September is my guess. We'll see what you think later or sooner.

That might be right for full blown out shows with full audiences.

Well that's what I'm hoping.

I think it's going to be that, you know, reduced capacity for how long people are going to be starving, like the the clubs are going to be hurt and bad.

The restaurants are already hurting bad. And you to let them open up at 25 percent. I want to know, like, what kind of science is there in that?

There is a picture that I saw. There was a comedian out of Puerto Rico that that that posted it. But there was a picture of a theater. Right. And the seating was taken out. So there's two seats, six feet, one seat, six feet, two seats together, six feet apart, one seat in L.A. It looked like there were like building there, like there were filling in the seats, but they had taken out the things.

And I'm like that.

Yeah, that that just looks gnarly.

So weird.

I want to know if there's real science to that. Is that really going to stop people from getting sick? I don't know, I mean, that's this is our bird mask equivalence, but there's no fucking talk about nutrition. No one's telling people to sleep more, not telling people to stop drinking sugar.

Right. It's all just be scared. It's all wash your hands. Stay away. Stay away.

Cover your face. Yeah. I can't wait. I can't wait to get back on stage. I've been writing and just the the the routine that we develop of, hey, you write during the day, you get stuff ready, you go home at and I record the set, wake up in the morning and listen to it like that's been disrupted completely. And it's like I feel it. I feel the you know, the, the energy shift. And I want to get back to that as soon as possible.

I mean, it's there's nothing more exciting than putting together a set. There's nothing more. Well, I shouldn't say that these things are more exciting, but it's a very exciting thing. It's up there.

It's up there putting together a set and and getting to work it out and just get excited about it. I got a 10, 13, 10, 13, 10, 15 spot ahead down, sit in the back for a little bit. Get my bearings. Yeah.

Who's not able to do a shot? I might do a shot before the show. Yeah. You know, get ready. Go over my notes so quick.

Yeah. There's something very exciting. Me. Yeah.

Especially when you know you're about to do a new bit. Here comes here comes Hazels and Youngstown's. Yeah. And knowing me I'd be so excited.

I go up there and like it and a fumble and I'm like, oh boy, you know, it takes a while for those bits are alive. They walk out there on bamby legs.

Yeah. Sometimes I most of the time I feel like I was somehow do a better version. The first time I say and then I'm chasing the dragon. Yeah. Yeah. A long time and it's like it's that's a recording.

Come and play though, right. Mm hmm. Yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm obsessive.

I'm obsessive with the with the writing. And, you know, it's like leading up to the special. I even got like, like a wee work spot just so I could use like really the whiteboard. And I would be for each week and I lay out the whole thing. And, you know, I you know, Ian Edwards was kind enough to I'm like, hey, can I walk you through everything? And I'm doing arrows. And he's said, you should hold that picture is like that that that picture you should hold because I would just lay everything there.

Do you have a picture of it? Yeah, I do. Is it on your Instagram or anything.

No, I haven't posted yet. Maybe I'll post it right after the the special. Oh yeah.

Yeah do it. It's everything on there. And I broke it up in thirds like I got a really obsessive, you know, because I wanted to explain, you know, the first twenty minutes. It's like my upbringing, I defined the variables.

You have the picture. Why don't you airdrop it to me right now while we're thinking about it. And I'll put it up on Instagram to let everybody know he said it to you. Do I could put it up.

Right. There you go. Yeah, but maybe he doesn't want anybody to see his set. No, no, no.

They can see it because not everything got it and got got in there. But it doesn't bother me. OK, you know, it's it's my process so. Right, right, right. I'll definitely buy the just sent to me.

Yeah. Yeah. Well remember. Remember but I'm, I'm excited. I know you work really hard so I'm excited to see it because I know you are always grindin. I see you at the store at the Improv. You're always putting in the work you always find, but you're always real enthusiastic.

It's just we're real just we're all real fortunate, man, that we get to do this. We're real fortunate that we get to do it. Yeah.

Around each other. So many other funny people. Yeah. No, it's it's great. I'm a I'm a fan and a student of comedy. You know, it's like I you know, from, from the get go like, you know, even because I didn't have full command of the language, you know, you know, until I was like around in fifth grade. So my first exposure being, you know, Mexican comedians like a Cantinflas or, you know, just Breteau who was a playwright, you know, who wrote these funny characters.

And then Maria. And that was my first exposure to comedy. I feel like it was like, you know, from there into physical comedy to your Laurel and Hardy and the Three Stooges, Buster Keaton like to me that was like hysterical.

When do you when did you learn English? I started learning well, I think by fifth grade I fully understood it, but I grew up around, even though I'm born here in Long Beach, you know, I didn't you know, you slowly learn it. That's interesting. Yeah, I slowly learned it. And I was in or around only people that spoke Spanish.

I think there's a giant advantage to being bilingual, not just in that you can speak two languages and talk to, you know, people from different cultures and go and travel around the world, speak Spanish. But also because I think your brain has that.

There's more nuance to your understanding of language. Right, because you've got two different languages that you can go back and forth. And you had you got a romantic Latin language and you've got, you know, European English. You've got this weird combination of those two things you can choose. And so you get a flavor of like these sound different. They have different different ways of structuring sentences. I bet you I bet it's playing chess and a lot of ways like a little brain exercise.

Yeah, it's interesting. But I think initially when you're trying to learn a language, my dad used to joke and say that, you know, I was going to end up mute is that you can't speak English or Spanish. Well, he's like he's like this is bad. And that's true. I think from a learning point of view, it's like you had him garbled up together. Yeah, I would make up words or, you know, my dad is like, what do you that's not even Spanish or English.

And I'm like, do you like my my dad wouldn't even speak English either. So he's like, I know I don't speak a well, but I know you're saying it wrong.

So it was a very hard thing, you know, and I tested very badly in school because of it, you know, and that's a problem with a lot of kids, right?

Huge. I would be put I got put into, you know, slower classes, if you will, you know, because I tested so, so awful on on paper.

And it's like I understand the concepts. I understand what's going on. I just can't communicate it. And, you know, and obviously part of education is learning how to conceptualize something and communicate it properly when if you can't do that, they just think that the mechanics that are the logic, your logic is impaired and it's not. Yeah, it's my ability to communicate. Yeah. It's it's your ability to communicate.

And it's also when you get behind the eight ball with something like that as a kid and you get self-conscious about it and then it's bothering you for years and years that can affect all the aspects of your life, can totally affect your confidence with girls or with friends or whatever.

And then when you boys, whatever you're into, then something could be like, you know, it's like, oh, he's not behaving well with kids. He's fighting words because the lack of communication.

But you get angry and frustrated at the world and lash out and but, you know, now as an adult, knowing both languages, it's quite interesting because especially performing stand up, I've been to New Mexico and performed stand up. And it's really cool because even as I was getting ready to do this special, there was a show in Mexico that I went to go do and I did the hour in Spanish. Oh, wow. So now it's like how much changes?

A lot kadence.

You know, Caden's similes metaphors are different. You know, you're saying things backwards. It's like it's the red car car red, you know, it's like so you're thinking different. And sometimes new jokes come about. But sometimes the material you lose in the translation, you know, wordplay. Yeah.

Do you add as well though?

So I definitely have some original only like like Spanish observational bits that wouldn't work the other way either.

So that's really cool. I think it's really cool. It's like I guess the best example I could give. It's like working on your left, you know. You know, you spent years working on this shot and you can do, you know, a free throw. You could do the, you know, leeway and now you're with the left.

Yeah, it's close, but it definitely requires more work, more thinking. Yeah. Yeah.

When you teach people martial arts to left hand, it's like useless. It's hilarious when they first learn how to throw a left hook. So few people know how their left arm correctly. It's not coordinated. Yeah.

It doesn't have the muscle memory. And at least for this, for the language, eventually one language takes over the other and it's like, you know, my in high school I remember an English teacher told me, this is like, you know, which language is the most dominant because you dream and thinking that like, oh yeah, I've heard that people say that about moving someplace or being on vacation someplace for a long extended period of time.

Speak the language, start dreaming in that language.

It's kind of crazy. So it's like now I think in English it's translated into Spanish. But, you know, so when I went to Mexico after like a day or two, it's like I'm now thinking in Spanish because my crosshairs have been adjusted. You know, you almost have to like, want to soak in the the the environment. You don't want to like the I feel I don't know this to be true, but I feel like the the the mind wants to like, mimic, you know, I always tries to replicate.

That's why when you hear somebody with an accent, you're like you almost want to repeat it back to them, you know, kind of thing is like or somebody whispering like I'm whispering to is like you don't like, why are you doing it?

And I. That that's what that is, too, is like you you start to adjust your crosshairs, but it's been fun navigating, you know, doing stand up in both languages.

Joey Diaz, the Spanglish shows. Oh, cool. He does English and Spanish together. And he's he's done a bunch of those in Miami. Do you do not want to follow Joey Diaz in Miami when he throws some Spanglish on that crowd?

Heck, no English, Spanglish, whatever you want to follow him with English. But I'm telling you, in Miami, he when they used to have him go down to the Miami Improv and middle, he would middle for these big time headliners. And Joey was friends with the guy who ran the club. So Joey was there quite a bit. You know, he'd get good roadwork there.

And nobody wanted to work with him. Nobody wanted to work with him. He would say some shit in Spanish and then English, soccer loving guy, and then everybody would be fucking fall on the floor.

And then you try to go up there with your regular jokes like, good luck, bitch.

What's the deal with the Sox? Like, get out of here with that. You can't, man, not that place. Miami so wild is such a wild place, so different.

I haven't spent much time there. I definitely know that it's it's like a South American country. It's wild.

They're wild, man, all party and no one's wearing any clothes.

Yeah. People are dancin. Is music in the streets of food's great.

But it's just got a different vibe, you know. It just has a different vibe. Yeah. More party vibe. Party vibe. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I've been told.

Like when I hear old people moving to Miami, I'm like, how are you going to keep up. Right. Right. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Burning your house up, you're going to be like these kids. They're fucking noise in the back yard here and music and people laughing.

That's what people go when they want to party, if they want to. It's like a young kid. They're not doing shit their life. Like I think I want to move to Miami.

It's like, oh boy, can I get my party on maybe a DJ.

Oh hey. To each his own.

And that's what you want to do, what you think you would have done if you weren't a comic? Hmm. I think I would have I would have done something in the art style, maybe even like teach art. I would have been cool, like illustration or. Yeah, illustration. I like doodling and stuff. I've always been into that. And I thought I was going to do that in college. And I ended up, you know, getting a business degree and marketing.

Are you left handed?

No, no, no.

You do a lot of shit with your left hand on notice and you move.

Yeah, I, I, when I was younger, I could, I could write with both. I push myself to be with us. So it's like my, my, my left is my, my dominant like no I mean my left hand is basically useless.

I broke my forearm once when I was like six I guess you know, I had to write and draw and shit with my left hand.

Terrible. I got that cast off, I went right back to alrighty. He knows how to listen. My handwriting isn't great. It looks like a little kid wrote it. And so when I would, I would do that on my left, because I'm like, they both write the same. So. So what does it matter? They don't know, do you?

When you write, do you write with a computer or do you write a notebook? I write stuff in my little notebook. I do it. One of the things I got in the habit of doing, if I can't, you know, get to my little notebook, I just start an email chain with, you know, premises for the week. Oh, really? And then I'll just email myself. And then, you know, when I do sit down and write, you know, on on Friday, I could just pull up the thing.

And I'm like I pull up this thread that I've been replying to myself, you know, birthdays. And then whatever thing I said is like, why don't you start on your notes.

Because I like to make things difficult. So if I'm being honest, I don't you know, it's like there's some there's some there's some impairment in here.

I mean, you legitimately like to make things difficult. Seriously, I like to find a different way of doing it. Oh, and to see if I can land in a I don't know. It's like it's like if I can land at a more efficient way or just another way of doing it.

And it seems like it's effective. I mean, you could it's easy to switch from your computer to your phone because you obviously have it on both. Well, yeah.

So it's like email. It could be a legal pad. This is what I use for sure. And then, you know, I, I put them up on my wall because I like to be like constantly like looking at them. So I feel like in the morning when I look I wake up and I look at the wall, I have the bits and I have a running set list on a whiteboard in my room that I just kind of look at.

Just look at the set list and then the stuff that I'm working at that I just write long form. Oh. So I don't know.

It's probably not the most efficient way, but it works for me. It makes sense.

It doesn't matter if it's the most efficient because it's really a lot of it is about time spent thinking about the bits. Maybe if it's inefficient you'd be thinking about it even more. You know, it doesn't matter. It's like seems to me that you're doing everything that you have to do, which is you're writing things and organizing things and thinking about it. That seems to be what it's about.

Like the way it gets better is thinking about it and thinking about it with like intent and energy and like real focus, like really trying to figure out how to make this bit better.

And the more time you spend doing that, the better bits are. So you're doing all the right steps, whether you do it through email or whether you do it through notes. I'm just wondering why you don't do it through notes or something like that. Or Evernote. I use Evernote too, which is great because you never know it's good.

I use that for a while because you can put pictures and stuff like that. So sometimes I would be inspired by a picture. I write the thing or a link. You know the article.

Yeah, it's great. I just love having that ability to do something that goes straight to your computer too. And it's also across platforms. So if you have Windows or Android, it doesn't matter.

When did you make the switch from paper to computer? Because in other words, gives me a hard time, like, you know, there's computers. Now, why do you keep writing a legal pad?

Well, they say when you write on legal pads, though, you remember it more. The yellow. The yellow does. No, not just maybe. I'm sure maybe. But what I meant was actually physically writing. I don't know whether or not the yellow would.

I think it's cool looking. I like the way it looks.

Looks like I'm serious, like I'm one of the most mathematicians.

They're always right on, like, yellow legal paper paper when they're they like the crazy thing for no reason is like, no, it's not an Inkwell fan.

So weird. That's weird looking pens. Strange because that's how the coffee gets spread. It fucks.

But I think there's something about actually writing things down that enhances your memory of those things. Like if you make a list, if you write that list down, there's something about it.

Stores better, it's more accessible. I've read that and I've experienced it. So a trick that I got from Kevin James because we have the same manager and I was I didn't have a writer.

They said, what do you want for, like, a writer?

So don't give fucks, water, whatever. Yeah.

So they put all the stuff that he gets. On my rider, they just give Kevin's rider, you know, it's like normal stuff, but also index cards.

He has index cards and sharpies with every every performance. And so I started going over my notes. I would go over my notes during the day, you know, do all my writing, write stuff out. But then right before the show, I spent a whole hour just breaking down bits onto a little index cards, just bullet points.

Just get things out just so it's drilled into my head right there and then full full of confidence.

And I know all the beats, all the moments in order and what window go fast and when to go slow and. Mm.

And it seems like just the more time you spend doing stuff like that, it's just better. It's just always better.

It's good. Yeah. It's good because I feel like you're engaging more parts of your body and writing something you're, you know, you're writing the letters so subconsciously you're tapping into the memory of how do I write this letter, this word, you know, organizing it visually. You know, you're holding a pen. It's like, yeah, it really becomes ingrained in the mind. And I think there's something special that I don't see myself walking away from that part of it.

But for the sake of remembering a premise, because there's nothing worse than like, dang it, what was that thing? I know. Oh, man.

That's why I really like using notes, because on my iPhone, when I use the notes, I just use that voice to text feature. Oh, that's right.

So when it's slippery and it's in my head like, oh why is it that.

And then I'll say it Pam and it comes out perfect.

Yeah. Voice The text is really amazing too, because sometimes in the process of remembering and writing, some of the words are lost and it's like, no, that wasn't the same. It's really captures exactly what you need to do. I wonder if we could pick up your name, my man. Hey, Susan is a bad motherfucker. Oh, yeah, look at that. Jesus, look at that. Jesus. That's perfect. I was wondering, like, sometimes the iPhone is like, you know, it's like when you get an Uber or something is like drop off Jesus on the left.

That always gets a big laugh.

Or when I do like like I'll get directions somewhere. And once I was like destination on the left. Jesus is like, what's with the attitude, Siri, Jesus.

Now why is it that that's such a popular name in Spanish?

It's you know, it's because it's a you know, Mexico. My parents are from Mexico and, you know, the predominant religion in Mexico is Catholicism. So it's Jezus much like, you know, and the Muslim religion and the Middle East would be. Yeah. So it's it's our equivalent, I think. I believe it lands somewhere in there.

Don't do you know how crazy you have to be to be a white guy to name your son. Jesus bro. You got to be off the charts.

Crazy if you found out his name is. His name's what. Right. His kid's name. The guy with the beard. His fucking kid's name is Jesus. Oh, my God. We're movin. Get your shit. We're moving your sister.

Fuck. Yeah.

So I can't look, I can't live right next door where we sleep. Names is kid Jesus. I don't wanna be here when the ATF breaks down his door, finds out he's running a cult.

When I went, when I went to Mexico, they had the paperwork and, you know, my my passport and stuff was so stressful. You know, I wrote it just as I would have, you know, and there was a thing that didn't match up and it was an accent. So if you look at it, it's written with English letters, you know, so it's like my parents don't like didn't really know how to read or write. So somebody else filled out the paperwork for me, like my birth certificate.

So it's struggle just like you would see it anywhere else. Right. But in Mexico, there was an accent over it. You know, there's an accent over there, the E Hesus, you know, almost like the anyway. So technically, I guess is I found that out when I went to Mexico. One of the comedians and also when I showed my my passport at Customs are like, it's Jesus, Jesus, Trego.

Oh, because it's not Hesus. Right. Because it doesn't have that accent.

Oh, interesting. Right. Like Inyo. You know, you're not married to that. No. No paper. No, I'm just saying it's like Inyo you know, the accent was like when the pope came. It's like because of the because of the accent. So it's like papa is like, you know, dad. Yeah. But also it's potato and it's like somebody had a sign on over. You can say it's like welcome potato like this with the confidence of, you know, Google Translate.

Do you imagine putting in all that work? And it's wrong.

Spanish has those cool little things that hang out above letters. Yeah that's anyway. Yeah. And that's a whole letter in itself. Yeah. Yeah. I was kind of dumped on you guys get extra letters, do you use all the letters that English uses to all of them? Do we use all of them? I haven't used in a long time.

Yeah, but there's got to be some. But there are some songs that are some some words that end in either Spanish words.

Right. Oh, yeah, oh, I thought an English is like do use. Right, but I'm saying in Spanish, do you how many. Maybe I said it wrong. What I meant is like, are there any English letters that because you have extra ones like anyway.

Yeah. And you use a lot like Nina. Right. You know, on for four year. Yeah.

So you have one more. But do you have all the ones or double L like make a Y.

Yeah.

Yeah but, but Spanish and English use all the other. There's not like a letter that Spanish tends to not use. Right. Yeah. It's the English language.

Yeah. It's, it's all the same.

Five extra letters o five extra letters and then Vikings have those cool little dots and shit over there.

They're letters like you ever watch like that show Vikings the way the Norwegian people and Icelandic people, they put those weird dots all over the place like do do you know what is that when they when they're typing things in Icelandic or in Viking slang language Icelandic?

That's to me, one more fascinating things about humans today is that they have this one part of the world where they developed these enormous men, these strong men, guys, these guys are all from Iceland, like a whole bunch of them are from Iceland, like that Game of Thrones guy that played the mountain through all these monstrously huge people.

And you're like, well, what is that? What the fuck is going on? Well, they're Vikings, bitch. This is the leftover Vikings.

Yeah. Like they were real.

They really were a bunch of giant men who marauded their way across the world. We're real lucky that now all they try to do is like throw beer barrels over the top of a fence.

That's we're lucky. We're lucky.

These guys just like hold on to cars and keep them from sliding down a ramp for you see that when they have a handle in each hand and they hold there, we're lucky.

We're lucky as fuck they would be out there crushing skills and smashing. That's just the weird.

When they have they have a letter that no word starts with, like the lowercase after D, it's in between D and E, it's called F.

I don't know.

What is it? What does it say? There was something that popped up there. What was that thing that popped up because I was just hovering over. Oh hover over that. Oh. With the thing the two dots over at the end. I'm trying to get to see the one on the far end. That's the one I was talking about. Like what is that fucker.

It's, it's like a character is like it's what are you doing here. Oh yeah. I don't know. They put me here, it says, oh or whatever. It's I'm saying how to say it is.

What is the thing above it. Oh Morlot OK.

There's a character that like I know there's a guy, a mathematician. Kurt Godel doesn't doesn't don't use that in his name. Yeah. It's a character that represents the letter from several, several extended Latin alphabet.

The letter O modified with an um lot or dire RSS diathesis in many languages.

The O or the O modified with an um lot is used to to denote the non close front rounded vowels.

Oh you know what that is. I don't have to explain that to you at all. He says the fuck is that.

The fuck's a non close front rounded vowel. I give up too hard you Viking fucks go eat your pickled swords.

It's so fascinating. Are they alphabet's even like the Greek alphabet, the alphabet gamma delta. I mean, yeah, it's like and in mathematics they tend to use that more to, you know, to, to assign to variables or, you know, what's that dope.

AII right next to it. That's pretty cool. What does that kid's name. Right. I think so.

Character formed from the letters A and E was originally ligature reppas representing the Latin dip song EHI. It has been promoted to the full status of a letter in some languages, including the Danish, Norwegian, Icelandic and Feroze for Faroese. Faroese. Hmm. What the fuck is that please. It was also used in old Swedish before being changed to an A with two dots above it.

Interesting. I just think that's an enema. I don't know how it's properly supposed to be said.

That character looks like when you buy alphabet soup and there's two letters stuck together like, oh wow, exactly. I got the exactly like spaghetti's each other.

Look at that one a D with a D that's been attacked by a sword with a backward six. And these are Viking languages.

So it's called Horth orthography. Looks like a lot of saying no lendix orthography. Nope. That's fascinating.

Well, what's really interesting to me is how old it is. I mean, how long is that that particular language been around for? They set early 12th century, it says first document referred to as the Dance Wild, that's wild shit.

They just found a horde of Viking stuff. I think something was defrosting and they were. See if you can find the Viking artifacts. What a crazy time that must have been.

Never knowing when you wake up, you can see a boat full of fucking giant men with swords just looking to pull up at the beach and start hacking people apart and raping all the women like FUX.

Is it melting ice reveals a lost Viking era pass in Norway's mountains. Wow, wow. Artifacts show people use the route for a thousand years, then abandon it, possibly amid a plague like another plague.

What is that thing that does on his hand? Was a bit for goats, kids and lambs to prevent them suckling their mother. Wow, because the milk was processed for human consumption. So passive.

Oh, so they put that in their mouth to make them bite down on it. Oh, how weird. It looks like the top of a scroll.

And so the humans were stealing the lamb's breast milk. And then giving it to their family and then the poor little lamp on what's going on, trying to suck that tit like, no, no, no, how about you just take a stick in your mouth, you little fuck, and tie it behind your head?

There's another one style that's more passive. How weird. It's a stylist.

So this is possible stylus. Yeah, but what would that be? Same. I don't know.

Did they have that Galaxy Note? It looks exactly like the one with us, even with a little knife. It does.

Like you could click the top of it. And have you ever use the Galaxy Note? No. Do they're dope? Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, the real problem is you don't have the same protection like it's Esme's for text messaging, that green text.

Well, yeah, it's kind of it's just not the best way. It's easier to if you're interested in privacy, it's way easier to intercept your data and the things you're saying. And it's just it's more secure the way Apple does it. But what they have going for them is this fucking pen.

We could draw on anything you could draw on this front screen, like you want to take notes, you could take notes, you could put your notes on the screen of your phone like when it's off, and then you can swipe like you put like a hundred pages of notes and you store those notes and you could write them all and they even take the text messages. I'm pretty sure that you've written and translated into printed font. So it'll take. Yeah.

Yeah, it's it's pretty amazing.

The fucking screen is enormous. It's an enormous screen with this tiny little dot hole in it. So like for watching YouTube videos and shit, it's incredible. It's just Apple's ecosystem is so seductive, right.

Once you start using the blue eye messages and then the big one for me is airdropping, like I said, hey, your job is so easy.

Just blue. It's got it. Got it. Even video from like a laptop to your phone. It's just so easy and yeah. In both ways.

But and with airdrop, you know, we could be on the top of a mountain with no cell phone service at all. And you could airdrop me, right. Because it's just Bluetooth. It's just wireless. It's gone from phone to phone. It doesn't it doesn't have to be connected to a network. It's pretty amazing.

Yeah. And it's hard once you get into this whole like. Yeah, once you get into the iPhone of it, all the Apple products is like they got you by every angle. You got to get the iPad.

You going to get thinking they're sneaky, they're sneaky. The headphones, the the works.

It's good to have competition. But the way they've done it, man, they've made it so attractive that like at least 50 percent of the people I think are on iPhones, it's not like that in America.

So depending on where you want to say, because I just heard something like eighty two percent of all of the world devices are Android. Hmm. It's like in the world.

So, yeah, that's just because in other places, iPhones are not as attractive because they they have more options and they have WhatsApp, these WhatsApp all the time. So they do so much, they're texting through WhatsApp and it doesn't even matter.

They don't get the green, they don't give a fuck.

And WhatsApp, you could send full pictures and you could do all that shit. Yeah. Videos, the whole works. Yeah. But there's something about, you know, the green text message bubble, you know, I hear it's like the cone of shame, apparently, you know.

But yeah, you got to be able to get away from that because here's the thing. It doesn't show up like that on an Android phone or an Android phone. Do you have different themes?

You could change the colors. You can change the way it looks.

Yeah, way more flexibility to to change the way it looks is a bunch of different messaging apps that you could use. You could have night mode and all kinds of shit, 45 percent of the smartphone users in the United States.

Wow. A hundred million iPhone users.

I've never gave it a shot, but it's crazy because it's one company. That's what's really crazy, like Android phones.

You've got Samsung, you've got one plus. You mean go down the line. You got, you know, Motorola.

Make some. Everybody makes them right. Palm still makes cell phones.

Do they really sound like a brother? I mean, a tiny one that's like that big. It's weird. It's so big you could wear like skin tight pants and it's just like a tiny little thing that slides into your pocket.

It wouldn't even wouldn't even literally look like there it is the size of this fucker.

It's hard to see right there, but it's so small. Look, look how big their hand is. Yeah, and I don't know how big that dude's hand is. Have you seen the new razor, the nail polish?

Maybe guys like to paint their nails. Maybe Tate Tate likes to paint.

He used to at least. But look at Tiny is like a little. So there's a lot of people are like, I'm sick of being fucking completely digitally connected. I just want to be able to text people what I want to.

So, yeah, so I'll just take this little last thing with me and just give myself a little break, like if I need to call somebody out there.

And the way I think it is, this is one of them. But the other one that they had syncs up with their bigger phone.

So they had like a bigger phone they could leave at home. So it's almost like a more usable version of an Apple Watch.

Oh, might not have that anymore, because this is just this is all that they have on there. So, um, designed for life on the go there down to that one.

Have you seen the razor? It's like the tiny thing that was like a new version that folds in half and then opens up to the thing that's pretty, pretty dumb.

And this looks like such an iPhone clone, though, doesn't it? Like, look at the way the camera set up in the back.

You can't trick me, bitch. Scroll scroll up a little bit so I can see those photos. Are they. Look at that. That's a fucking iPhone. Yeah.

Oh, no. We put it on the other side. Even the my phone is like pretty pretty similar, right. No iPhone on the left. We're on the right. Totally different. The same thing page.

I think I think phones are doing the same thing that cars like car companies do, that, you know, they kind of go with a certain chassis and they dress it up in their own way.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Well, there's definitely a lot of that.

Well, there's you know, there's companies that make the components, you know, like Samsung makes most of the screens for iPhones. So even though yeah. Even though iPhone is a it's a different company, the screens are being made by a company outside.

But the only thing that separates Apple in that regard is that Apple makes their own processors.

I think I think that bionic isn't it, exclusively to Apple, the 12 chip.

Yeah, the bionic thing. I think it is. And it's supposedly the best cell phone chip. Then with Samsung, they can choose between the Snapdragon. So they have the Snapdragon series, which is like the eight sixty five or something like that.

The specs that they got to be pretty close. Right. That's going to be like Intel versus their super close back in the day.

But that's what I was saying about the note that I have. Like, it's fast as fuck. It's really the new ones. The thing about the new ones is they have 120 hertz refresh rate. I haven't experienced that, but I have experienced that with phone with with TVs, rather, and video games monitors. When you play Quake on them at a very high refresh rate, it's amazing. Like a high frame rate makes the the things so much smoother and cooler look.

And it's really it doesn't look like they say your eye can only register 30 frames per second.

But I don't know if that's really true because there's more or less I think you could see more because when they ramp it up, the difference between 30 and 90 is pretty prevalent. And I think most most phones are at 60 hertz. Is that right?

Yeah, they're starting to get up into one hundred twenty, right.

Yeah. So apparently there's a big benefit. Samsung has that. So when you scroll, look, if you get one of their new Galaxy s twenties and you scroll with it, it's like buttery, smooth. Apparently everybody tries, it is intoxicating. So like it's so fun to use just because of that refresh rate. There's something so bad. Apple is going to come up with that next two. Yeah, yeah.

They're going to be talento. But I think the main the main thing, I think why people almost gravitate towards like an iPhone, it's like the camera, you know, it's like when when somebody's on Instagram post a picture from like a Samsung, you know, it's a Samsung, you know, it's like and this one just has a little more depth of field or I think that used to be the case.

Oh, not anymore.

No. OK, now the new Samsung, like the Galaxy s 20s, there's a thing called the S twenty ultra is one of the most ridiculous cameras you've ever seen on a phone ever. Dude, it's got a hundred and eight megapixel.

No way.

108 megapixel lens as don't get caught up in that hundred eight number, though, because it's just a number. It's like a data. No, right.

That's the same thing with the zoom. Right. Like the zoom is a lot of it's digital zoom, right. Yeah. It's it's still has a lot to do with the optics and the glass that's going in there and then the sensor that it's then being around. So that can give you a better or worse picture.

But it used to be a big deal to have like a five megapixel camera on a phone. Now they're up to 108. They have these gigantic camera bumps in the back of these cameras now because they have these they have actual zoom lenses that are mechanical zoom lenses and then they have digital zoom. So they have and then they're doing night vision, like not night vision, but night mode, where they'll take a photograph of a dark room.

And then you could see almost all the detail. They do that now. Don't. Yeah.

Did you see the iPhones to that infrared issue that came up like a week or two ago? No brand new iPhone that had a which I think it was on a phone like ten years ago and it came up, but there was like a setting you could do while you're taking a photo. It was like an infrared camera filter that allows you to technically see through stuff. Wow.

And like there like it wasn't supposed to do that, but see through like what I select from Unbox Therapy made a video just showing you what you could see through so you could take a picture of an Apple TV like the the actual physical box and see through the the black plastic, like see the internal components.

What did it to if a shirt you put underneath the shirt and you could see through a black shirt because it was good enough for it to kind of just as the way that the light light works with the infrared and what the camera then picks up.

Wow. So you could have a camera under your shirt and people would have no idea. And you walking around like like dudes wearing a wire. And these guys, you could do that camera strapped to his black shirt.

You can take pictures of people and have like girls naked and oh my God, you can see right through their clothes took they took it out off the phone.

Now, why didn't you tell me first hand? You could probably find it that.

Well, you make a great point for the for the Galaxy. I'm definitely up to try it because, I mean, with the iPhones, it's just a constant having to upgrade. And it's like that one. It seems like it would be good for longer than the iPhone. No, the iPhones actually last longer. Really.

Yeah, they say. And they also they they'll keep updating your iPhone far longer, like if you buy a Samsung, the dope phones, but you get like a couple of years out of them and then they stop supporting them. They stop supporting them with updates.

So who do you go with if you're like I go with this one or you just do both a. You both both, yeah, I like both. I think there's a real benefit to having competitors, and that's one of the reasons why Apple's been forced to really step up, because these Android phones, particularly Samsung phones and Huawei phones and all these different phones.

But that is funny. There's they're really stepping up.

But there was this lady who was working for AI Weiwei who got in trouble because she was posting photos on Instagram for Whiteway products using an iPhone.

So they proved that she was using an iPhone to take the pictures and posting them up as Weiwei.

That's awesome. Yeah, well, she wanted a good picture. See, that's what I was telling you earlier. You want a good picture, you got to do it.

And then there's Google. Google makes their own phones now, too. They make the pixels and they have some of the best cameras ever. Their cameras are incredible.

The Google pixels, cameras were way ahead of the curve, too, like there was the one of the big selling points about the early pixel phones and how spectacular their camera camera was and how seamlessly the phone communicates with the Android system because it's pure Android, there's no developer software on it or, you know, carrier software. So Verizon software.

Yeah, it's just straight Google. And they the updates go immediately to the Google phones. Whereas like Samsung, when you buy a Samsung phone, if Google updates their operating system, you have to wait a while, maybe even six months for them to kind of update you to the next because they have to code it. They have to get it.

But it gets released on the pixels first, right? Yeah. So that's the that's probably the best move for for a straight Android phone.

Thank you. Given your all your data. All of it. Yes. Here you go.

Fork it over all your data where you go, hey, Suze would eat. Hey Suze, would you look at hazes. Everything. What should I sell you. Hey Suze. Right. Where you been. Where you going? You know, your flight is at eleven o'clock in the morning. How do you know. How do you know where I'm going? You fuck. Right?

The phone was 22 minutes to home if you drive now. All right. How do you know where my home is? I didn't even put my home in the fucking phone. It knows where you sleep at night.

Buy a movie ticket. You better leave now. There's traffic. Oh, yeah. Well, how about Tom Poppa's story about the fucking Apple Watch? His Apple Watch told him he shouldn't be out while is during lockdown. He was sneaking away to record sessions for his audio book. His Apple Watch is writing him out.

I don't think you're home, Tom. No way, Tom. He should be should be at home now. Stay home. Stay safe. Really.

I didn't get to to ask him that. But like there, that could have been very coincidental because I get an Apple Watch update every day from this particular app. It just happens like the same exact time.

No, no, no, Jamie, no. Alerting him that he was not in his home and he was supposed to be locked down. It was saying it knows you're outside your home.

Right? Fuck. What are you doing? Well, it was a polite way of saying, hey, you're not home, hey, sign me out, done. I'm done. It's ten minutes ratting me out. It's angry me giving me advice. Shouldn't you be home? Are you a fuckin watch?

The watch got a cash reward for for telling someone. I'm not looking for advice from my watch.

You tell me what time it is and if I want something, I'm going to go to you. Oh yeah. Don't they got the watches too. It's time to stand up and say, oh yes, they do that to you.

You've been sitting for an hour, Bob. Shouldn't you stand up and move around.

I guess I'm stretching now. What do you do if you if Bob's a lazy fuck and he's working for you like Bob's supposed to be working on this project?

Well, my watch says differently. My watch says I need to stretch out. I'll be up here for the next ten minutes. At least let me do my job to the best of my ability.

That includes moving Bob as an H.R. So what happened on my watch said I need to stand up and go for a walk.

I said Too long to watch. That's hysterical. Yeah, how long how long before it's like a little roll with Sistan Shoulders tells you what to do. Yeah, I suppose right. A little angel.

So it's coming on the new iOS thirteen point five. I updated the other day and there was a notification that said somebody was lousier phone to pop up the like type in your passcode faster because I don't know if you have a face mask on the first step.

They're saying because there's going to be some app to notify you, they need a fucking fingerprint reader. Everybody else has a fingerprint reader. Listen, man, it's real simple. He put in Sony has there's a brilliant spot. They have there's where the power button is. He put your finger on there just as you're pressing it. You just press it, press the power button and it's a fingerprint reader.

The iPhones have it, but I guess the newer ones, they got rid of it.

They got rid of it. But the new Sony has a dope new phone. They have experienced something two to one or something like that.

I forget what the fuck it's called, but they just came out with it and they're they have insane cameras.

Yeah, they're the camera game is off the charts. Yeah. Yeah.

Because Sony has a history with making the best digital cameras of some of the best digital cameras. So they have that along with the screen and the screen is designed for the same aspect ratio as movies.

So it's like it fits perfectly. It's kind of odd.

It's like a long and thin, it's shaped different, like the iPhone is designed to be an iPhone. And when you watch a movie just fits or it doesn't fit on the screen, like why you watch a movie on your phone. We don't write right now that board. But with this, the fork with the Sony one, what does this Jamy the eyeball think?

They're a promo video for it. Oh, it's like the Terminator. It's a dope phone. Yeah. It's the one to I don't know what a weird name. Very weird name because try like getting your mother to remember that or give me one of them experience which was easy as the one to what is if I didn't want to do it. It's like it's not Spanish. Sorry. I'm talking to the two one. You got a twenty one phone.

Can you say twelve one. So what is all this.

Just eye technology built into it right now. This stuff is starting to get interesting with these cameras and what you can do and the devices and things that recognizes is instantly.

And what is it doing right there? Right there.

It's like it was checking like it's looked like it was like looking at pineapple's and whatnot.

But there's some new apps right now, like if you want to get it, like, for instance, this computer or a new shoe, you can type tapping the thing, like show it to me and it'll you could not turn your camera onto this table and it will show you what it'll look like sitting on your table.

Well, angles and see what this new thing you want to buy will look like in your space.

That would be amazing if you were an interior designer and you're trying to set up someone's house and you'd be like, look, look what you do here. Yeah.

And then they look at the phone.

Yeah, it's like, yeah, that's crazy. So they just. Is it the same technology for like like eyeglasses, you know how you could try on eyeglasses without being in the store.

Now a lot of the show you what you look like. Yeah. So it's like you could go you're like this, you know, like well let me see the thick frame ones. It's like, oh wow. Yeah.

You don't have to go in store. You can move around a little like a Snapchat film. Yeah. It's like yeah it's already like I don't know, it takes measurements or when you move it it's like yeah.

It's the same technology I guess that you would see with those when the girls do the things. The puppy dog nose and the ears.

Yeah. Same thing technically same shit. This glasses. These glasses. Yeah. We're the future is going to be very strange Jaysus. Very strange. Strange. Very strange. Does it scare you.

I'm concerned. Yeah but I'm always concerned because I'm look and something like this pandemic sort of just highlights why I'm concerned.

Like the world is crazy fucking the world is really crazy. Yeah.

Anything can happen out there. It's very strange. Yeah. You know, I mean whether it's technology or pandemics or asteroid impacts or just just death. Just mortality. Just getting old and dying.

Yeah. The world is really weird.

You should be concerned because it's all like there's a lot of shit going on that has nothing to do with you that can affect you in an insane way. Like what happened in Minneapolis. Right. Right.

I mean, if you were a person, you had a building there and also in your buildings on fire because some fucking cop was a piece of shit. What you know, what do you do now know your your whole life got changed overnight by something that had nothing to do with you? That's that's the risk we run by being a human in society. It's a risk we run.

I mean, and we also benefit from it. But that's also part of the thing. It's like if things are happening, like no one saw this pandemic coming in fucking October of last year, no one thought that this time last next year we'd all be sick of being locked down for over two months. And everybody was sick of all this shit and wanting to get back to work and has comics. It'd be the first time in our careers we what is the longest time before this that you didn't do?

Stand up a while? Yeah, I, I took a longer break, you know, because I had, you know, take care of my folks or whatever.

Oh you did. Yeah. So you've done this already. You've done.

And it doesn't feel good, you know. It's like and you're still holding on for dear life much like what we're doing now. We're writing, we're like, oh this is cool. I'm now there's online shows. I've tried those, but they could never replace what standup is.

No, I mean I guess it's practice. I guess it's practice.

But still, it's like we already got a taste of what it's like over there, you know? I mean, we're like, this is cool, but it's it's Splenda. That's the real sugar over there. You know, it's it's a substitute that can never replace the real thing.

Do you think you'd be more appreciative when you get back to be able to do regular shows?

Yeah, I think so, too. And I think it sheds a certain level of of, hey, what's up? You know, it's just like, hey, let's get to the real stuff, because this is this is valuable time, you know. Yeah. The only commodity in life that's that's worth anything is time. So now it's like, hey, make it count. I feel like I've always had a certain level of urgency and stand up because I love it and, you know, trying to, you know, make a buck, I guess, to, you know, provide for my family.

But even now with the pandemic and to see how scarce and how fragile life is, it's like this is what I want to do. Yeah. You know, and it provides it's provided many of the great opportunities of my life to be able to take care of my folks. So that's like it's just yeah, I, I'm going to go back and. Yeah. I can't wait to go back. It's like I, I miss it. I want to, I want to do a good job.

Yeah.

It's also exciting for you too because this is a big break right after a set that you put out on Showtime. So you get a chance to really think about what you want to start talking about next.

It's like a rebirth of a rebuilding, you know. Yeah, those are the dangerous times, but exciting. Yeah.

And it's, you know, that's especially reflective of where I was leading up to it. And, you know, moving forward, I want to show growth. I mean, I don't want to be the same person and stagnant, a different style, you know, you know, talk about more real stuff or, you know, whatever it is, I just don't want it to be the same where it's predictable. Yeah. I don't want to do that.

I want to keep people guessing.

It's such an exciting fucking occupation, such an exciting art form. It's so crazy. Everything I could ever hope for. I you know, there's a direct line to it out of stand up, you know, and work in the store, you know, work in the parking lot and parking cars and, you know, going through the system there at the store. I mean, it's like standup has given me a lot. I mean, it's it's it's my therapy.

It's everything. It's like I feel like it sounds cheesy, but it's like the reason I'm alive is because of standup. You know, it's provided for me. It's giving me an outlet to talk about when things aren't going well.

I mean, what other job could I do that and actually enjoy it and have a fun time with other people having a good time. Like part of the fun of standup is watching other people laugh at your. So you like literally making them feel better. You're affecting them. And there's part of that that's like when you leave and everybody had a good time, they enjoy the show. It feels good like, all right, you guys feel good.

All right. And there's an adrenaline rush that's like you can go to go home and go to bed, know where you're up to 3:00 in the morning.

That's why it was generally I have written anything in the entire pandemic. I really shit. No, I was going through all that Spotify stuff. So that was like that was a little weird.

And then the pandemic hits. And I said, I think I because I'm not going to be able to do stand up. I'm going to just chill.

I'm going to take care of my health, work out a lot, eat real good, make sure that I, you know, got my I's and cross my T's, but also really let this settle in.

If I'm going to talk about this in a joke form, I want to know what I really think about it. And I'm thinking of it changed. I was real scared about it in the beginning and then I'm not really at all anymore. I'm more concerned with people's health. And I think the better message is not to be scared of a disease that kills such a small percentage of the population. I think a better concern is to look at that small percentage of the population, no matter how tragic it is.

Look at that number and say, how do we decrease that number far further? Can we do it with exercise and diet? Nutrition and the answer's yes. But you don't hear that promoted. You don't hear anything from our politicians about how to get that no lower other than stay away from each other, wear a mask, wash your hands, stay home, stay safe. There's no talk of making. The population healthier overall, so much should be the governor should go on television or do a YouTube video or whatever with someone who's like a bona fide nutrition expert, maybe some Rhondda Patrick type character who could sit down with them on TV and goes, these are the strategies that we want to employ as a society to protect ourselves from any kind of disease.

And we're going to strengthen our immune system. And here's the stats that we found through improving your health and increasing your immune system and just increasing your cardiovascular activity and making a better diet for yourself. We're going to drop our mortalities by 50 percent across the board. So 50 percent of the people that would die if they kept doing what they're doing right now won't die if someone had some kind of stats like that. I just made that number up. But it's probably accurate and then got on TV with a governor.

Then that's real leadership. Then you're really showing people something that can help them, not just saying, stay away, stay. We'll tell you when you get back your freedom. But right now, you can't tell people what to do to make them healthier. If they're going to listen to you about staying home, you don't think they're gonna to listen to you about drinking water and stop drinking soda and eating sugar and eating bullshit you don't think they'd listen to about that?

Right. But they'll listen to they'll give up their fucking job for you and stay home and let their business go under. Right.

It's interesting. And I think it's telling of like the Western versus Eastern way of looking at medicine and health. You know, it's like Eastern medicine. It's a very preventative approach to things. And here it's more let's attack the problem. But now there's a dependency of medications or, you know, there's definitely I think this should be both, man.

I really do. I think. Yeah, yeah. For sure. You should be preventative. But for sure you want the best surgeons, the best virologist, the best people that are making antibiotics. You want you want people that know how to save lives, but you also want to know how to prevent your body from ever getting into a vulnerable position with things that aren't vulnerable. For a lot of people, it's not trying to shame people like health, shame them.

But we know for a fact that some people catch this virus and it doesn't do anything to them and then other people get devastated by it. How much of that is genetic? How much that is things that they can control? Many variables. There's a lot of variables, but we have some answers and they should be talking about that.

Yeah, and it's yeah. It's like too too much of either one extreme is not good is like trying to find the equilibrium point of, you know, Eastern and Western, like you said, good surgeons, but also like, how do we prevent who are we eating? Where are we supposed to, like you said, water exercise. And there are so many things. But I don't know, it's a challenge. You know, it is.

But it's also why people don't they don't get good programming from the people around them. You know, when you say someone's being programmed, it's not always bad. Sometimes someone can program you just by virtue of living with them to develop more discipline because you see it by example and it makes you want to raise the bar. It makes you want to do good yourself. Sure. And a lot of kids are getting program the opposite way. They're getting programmed by slothful, lazy parents and their families full of shit.

They're liars, thieves. And you're getting processed by that. You're eating terrible, everybody. It's terrible. You drinking beer every night. Everybody drinks beer every night. And you just in a fucking real bad pattern. You don't know anybody that you can model on. Like, one of the things that we lucky about with standups is we get to see these other successful stand ups come in and work out material. You get to kind of I see what the landscape's like a kind of get a map of the territory.

There's a lot of people out there that don't have a map of the territory around them of a successful, healthy life. They don't know what to do. So they've been doing it. They're shitty way forever because everybody around them does it that way.

Well, they're conditioned. I think that's, you know, the root of a lot of problems. You know, it's like, you know, me, me growing up in Islam, which, you know, as a kid in the early nineties is like it was conditioning is like how does how does one follow a path of staying, you know, educating themselves, whether it's going to college or not?

Not saying that that's the correct way. But it's like if you're never exposed to anything else and only a certain lifestyle is like you become conditioned and, you know, this is the end all be all is like, no, you have to open your eyes. But you hope that the person has enough, you know, intelligence to like, you know, what's what's over there.

You know, it's like ask questions, you know? But yeah, you got to condition somebody's conditioning somebody. It could be bad, but also conditioning somebody to ask questions.

Well, even if someone's not conditioning you just by providing an example of what's possible, providing inspiration, you can model after that person, you can get a lot of shit done that you wouldn't ordinarily get done. That's one of the beautiful things about the Internet that you can have these conversations with variants like Kevin Hart the other day, like people listen to Kevin Hart talking. You just want to run through a building.

You listen to him talk like I'm going to get shit done.

Like he's he's so motivational. He's like he's so he's so first of all, he's so successful and not just successful in one realm. It's so successful in so many different realms. And he's always hustling, always moving a. There was a point where he wasn't successful, but he still put stuff in motion and eventually he became successful and it's, you know, again, when like when you say the word programming, I listen to that. It's like, hey, we also have the opportunity to program ourselves.

Yes. What are you reading? Yes. Are you are you spending time, you know, watching unboxing videos instead of some documentary or some reading, even an audio book? I mean, my goodness. Now we could have any book here. Yeah. So it's like it's also personal choice. And sometimes it's like, hey, man, you can only help somebody that wants to be essentially, you know, it's like and if you want to be helped, there's resources, there's books.

I mean, the L.A. County libraries, there's a plethora of resources. You can get a GDV, you don't have one, you can do it online, you can learn a language. You can get access to magazines that someone might not afford it. You know, the stuff is there. If you want it, you'll get it. Yeah, it's true.

Somebody's just got to kind of show you how to do it so you can be done or you see someone who is doing it. You know, there's always like every neighborhood has this one guy is kind of got shit together, gets up early and goes jogging. So he's reading books, you know, like remember that growing up there was always like a guy who was disciplined.

You know, when I first kind of like tapped into that was in high school, I went to Wilson High School and there was a program that came in. It's called Cameo. And it was a, you know, retired women from the city of Long Beach. I would come in and kind of mentor students and you would get an internship job, you know, at the end of that. And I went through the I went through the program. It was like tenth grade, eleventh grade and senior year.

They would do that. And I remember my first internship. Now they're exposing me to a world that I had no idea.

I don't know how to tie a tie. I don't know. We weren't supposed to wear white socks. When you wear like a suit, you know, it's like, I don't know, none of that. Like, I don't know where the placement of forks were because that wasn't something I needed to know. What I knew how to do was how to work with my dad. I knew how to fix a lawnmower. I know how to I knew how to fix a weed whacker, you know, take it apart.

And it was a two stroke motor, like I knew all of that, but not putting white socks on. When I wore a suit, I wore the white socks. And, you know, it's like I'm learning how to tie a tie. But they exposed me to this other realm of being a professional and reading. It's like I remember they they gave me the book of the Seven Habits of highly effective people. Yeah. That's a starting point. It's a great starting point.

It's a great starting point. But if if all I'm getting is as my buddy saying, hey, you know, read this book or, you know, and it's just some leisure book, it does me no good.

Sometimes they say the one thing that leisure books do is it familiarize you with the way people behave and talk when not around you and the way people think that people behave and talk when not around you.

Like he gives you a sense of things that are happening, that you're not exposed, they don't have your presence doesn't affect them. So you get to there's something about there's an observing effect that actually enhances your understanding of people by reading fiction. This is I'm probably butchering this idea, but I think that's the thought behind it, is that there is something to fiction that kind of benefits you in a way that regular nonfiction doesn't necessarily do. It's it's another layer of something, another layer of experiences, another layer of information.

How do you exercise creativity if you're not reading something that's so outlandish that, you know, wouldn't be real, you know, under, you know, gravity laws that that govern this world?

You know, it's scary shit like Stephen King stuff. Yeah. It changes your ideas of how you look at the world. A change, you know, it changes your ideas of creativity. Right.

Right. Yeah. It's it's a way of exercising and expanding it and, you know, find find parameters that, you know, you didn't know existed. And beyond that, I mean, it's like the universe. Creativity is like the universe. It's never ending, ever expanding.

So when you come up with a joke, don't you ever do you ever get that feeling like what is this coming from?

What was this idea coming from outside? You have this idea and you start laughing at yourself like like where did that come from?

What is this this thing that gets boiled down into comedy? What is that thing like?

Where does the mind go to access or tap into these premises of exploring it and finding? I don't know. It's like, you know, I think the mind has a we as humans, I feel like we have a very specific way of recognizing patterns where people have patterns, you know, if we like to recognize it. And it's almost oddly satisfying, we see something like, oh, OK, wait a minute, I'm onto something because we like the feeling, the endorphins we get when we figure something out.

Yeah. So I think, you know, where do we come up with this joke? I think it's a series of neurons firing and recognizing a certain pattern. That's that seems correct. You know, it's almost like rhyming something. It's like, oh, you know, jump up. It's like, oh, OK, OK. I see where this is going. And you're creating something you I mean, but in comedy, there's certain things that need to fire off and a certain sweet.

That feels fulfilling, I don't know. I know what you're saying. Yeah, yeah. And there's something fulfilling about watching someone do it, too. And someone nails a sequence of words and puts it together with a fat punchline.

Boom. And you watch it in the back going by.

Oh, it's so exciting.

It's like watching someone dance, watch someone pull off a pirouette and land on their feet. Perfect. Watching a back handspring in a tuck just perfectly nailed. Yeah. Something about it, man. Something about a person creating something, whether whatever it is, man, whether it's a book or a song or a joke, it feels good.

Yeah. And I think that it does like creativity in itself. It's like such a wonderful thing because it keeps like depression and anxiety at bay, because it's like there's something satisfying. It's like we're hooked to completing a task. We're hooked to, you know, you know, seeing a premise thought out to completion or.

Yeah, there's all sorts of different kinds of depression. But for some people, there is definitely depression of being stagnant, which is one of the things that scares me the most about this pandemic, mental health, people's mental health, being locked down for all these months.

And especially, you know, I had Adam on the other day, Adam Egert Abrahim going anywhere and he's not around anybody, doesn't have a girlfriend. So he's just like stuck in his apartment by himself in a weird water.

Water rots when it doesn't move, you know. So you got to give it movement.

So we're all especially as comics, we're all so social when, you know, we're so like we're such a community. They're like everybody's so huggy and real friendly.

They're even the ones that say that they're antisocial. It's like there's still a level of social ness that you need as part of your concoction that you call life.

Yeah, yeah. And I don't buy those people. I just think they get easily annoyed. I don't buy that they're really antitobacco patients. Yeah.

Because if you were in solitary, man, you'd be begging for people.

No one's really a loner. There's a reason that solitary confinement is a punishment for. Yes.

You know, Ted Kaczynski was a real loner, but he was a fucking psychopath.

Like, you don't want to be that like the idea of just being fine forever by yourself. That just means your time with people is so bad. The loneliness feels better than being around people, the loneliness, the thing that drives us crazy.

For them, it's a relief of the pain that's stronger than loneliness that they feel when they're around people. They're so right.

I think the pain that they don't want to project is like a psychological thing, that they don't want to project the loneliness that they have onto somebody. But, you know, the mind is so clogged up that, you know, they can see through that. Yeah, it's difficult. It's yeah, it's such a crazy.

But the Comedy Store is not I mean, it's so overwhelmingly friendly. It's great.

You know, it's it's really cool and very welcoming. I mean, you know, the same that it takes that it takes a village to raise a kid.

I thought I was an idiot. Let's take a village to raise an idiot. So it is it is a funny idea.

And in this case, it takes a whole comedy store to raise a funny idea.

Yeah, no, you're right. It is a village to raise a kid. That is the expression. But there's an idiot village idiot expressions or whatever.

Sorry. Hey, it's a marijuana talking. Yeah, but you're right.

It takes a village to raise a kid in the Comedy Store is like a village that raises all of us.

Yeah. Yeah. And it's you know, I look at my short. You know, time in comedy, you know, these 13 years and it's been it's been it's been the the people that I've met, the people that have given me opportunity, you know, and, you know, all these things that happen along the way to get an hour especially, this is a dream come true. But it's like this is not a lone wolf sport. Nobody gets here.

Just no, I did. It's like, hey, man, people took chances on you, gave you opportunities, stuck your neck out for you, maybe gave you an opportunity when you weren't ready. And I got a lot of those, you know, along the way and people taking you under under their wing. It's like it's a culmination of that.

Yeah. And I think it's something that we all enjoy. We all enjoy watching others come up and we all enjoy working together, the comics that are all like very friendly and get along together so well. One of the things that I think we all share is that this sense of camaraderie, it's a everyone's happy when people are doing well.

Everyone's happy when someone puts out a new special.

Yeah. Yeah, it's it's yeah, it's fun to watch and it's also fun to watch, you know, comics give unconditionally, like like like like you said, happy to see somebody, you know. Do you you've given opportunity to so many. You're you're essentially the new Johnny Carson.

This is RO Spotify. Come on. Like Johnny Carson to get a Spotify deal like that.

There was no Spotify. He would definitely go. Well, that's my point. But you know what I mean. It's I know you've created a platform where you co-sign people and, you know, it's you do it unconditionally. And I think that's very awesome to see, you know.

Well, it's a beautiful benefit of this. If there's people that you like that are nice people, you could blow them up.

You know, you can help them, give them a little push, let everybody else know why you like them. You know, like, look, guys, cause fuck and you're paying it forward.

I'm sure people did that for you. Coming up, you know, coming up in Boston to, you know, coming out here in L.A. and definitely got some good advice from a lot of headliners and shit and all that stuff helps.

And one of them, Lenny Clarke, I'm still friends with this day. He I opened for him like the second time I ever got paid. He gave me a bunch of great advice. And that was after Lenny was on HBO. And for me, I was like, I can't believe it was like it was hard to imagine.

Like, the the just the goal back then was just to be a professional, just to somehow another figure out a way to make money from comedy where I did need a day job that was like the ultimate goal, you know, what do you did you put any money away before the pandemic?

Yeah, I always got into a groove of, like, trying to save a little bit. It's not much, but it's like. You know, I learned that from my parents, you know, my mom, she comes from a very big family and my mom would say that, you know, because they can't afford a lot of food and they had so many kids that every time they bought rice or beans or whatever it was, my grandmother would take a handful and just put it away.

It's like we're able to make this is like we never had it. And before you knew it is like if some if you know, my grandfather did a job for somebody, you know, growing crop and they weren't able to pay them right away, like there were still something to get us by. So it's always like even when it's tough, when times are tough, that that little fistful of of grain will do you well in the future.

I bet there'll be a lot more of that from everybody now in terms of like don't live outside of your means. Yeah. Keep it keep it more conservative. Be more careful with what you spend your money on because you know, all that stuff could come fuck. I mean, it's way better to have a storage of money and food where you could last a few months. Yeah. That's what people are finding out now and again.

Yeah. It's like I found that out the the the saving part because it's like, you know, I got two friends I provide for my folks. So it's like it's not me. It's not a very much just worrying about me. I got to worry about, you know, my kids essentially. Yeah.

No, well isn't that beautiful that you do that to man and it gives you an extra sense of purpose. You know, you can't be lazy and you have other people to count on.

You know, know my dad looking at me like, what are you doing? He's sleeping. It's a it's a younger still sleeping is like, no, I'm up early. And I was like, I'm a I go to bed late and I'm up early. I run on very little sleep.

So, yeah, that's beautiful. It's when you have that sense and you can't be. Don't you think that's like the number one thing that fucks comix over is being lazy. One of them.

It's definitely an element of it stems there and it grows into something else and you know, we're all guilty of it. There's moments of, you know, you know, you almost have to allow yourself to be lazy at times just to know what it's like, you know?

Well, there's a real argument for creativity being spurred on by boredom. It's like we never allow ourselves to be bored because we're always, like, checking our phone. And that's stuff I always, like, tricked myself into. Well, I'm going to just going to go look through my Google News feed and I'll probably find something really incredible to talk about.

But most of the time, I'm just staring at bullshit most of the time.

Right.

You know, but when you put that fucker away and just bored, that's when you start thinking about shit. When he's just bored. Yeah.

Sometimes like when you're doing other things, like when you're commuting. I used to come up with some of my best jokes in my early standup years, not listening to the radio.

I used to drive around.

And when I was driving around with no radio, no nothing, just driving, I would have some of my best ideas because if I'm listening to Fucking Paradise by the dashboard, like, hey, no doubt about it, I'm thinking about that.

I'm not thinking about jokes. My my mind is occupied with the song. My mind is occupied with the podcast I'm listening to or whatever.

But when you are just driving, just doing something like sometimes magical ideas, a pop in your head.

Yeah, yeah. Even sitting under a tree and the wind's blowing and you're just looking at the at the leaves and now cops come over.

What the fuck are you doing man.

Staring at little girls is there's what are you doing. I mean I'm just thinking about like what do you think of this premise behind your back.

It's like, dang it. Yeah.

If you were just sitting there watching people play in the field, someone would probably come over and you're all right, man. I help you with something. Yeah, just. Just watching, just watching people. Yeah, even running like running for a while was a big thing for me where I could just clear my mind and I have the worst pace ever of running, you know, but just doing something. Yeah, because the body was moving.

So the blood's rushing, you know, it's circulating. It's almost like, you know, like a neon light. You know, sometimes when a neon light doesn't work, you have to move it around so the thing can move and circulate. Yeah, I know.

And I would think of stuff a lot of comics or a lot of writers I'm sorry, would write and then go for a walk and then listen to their notes while they're walking. Yeah.

Listen to a set too, because it's easier to attack somebody than to think in the moment. So you're tagging yourself. Yeah, I found that to help me so much.

So much, dude. So much. There's no pressure on me sitting at a coffee shop, you know, staring at my iced coffee, seeing the ice cubes melt and listening to my friend. I'm like, oh, oh, shit. I said this, you know, you're right. Yeah.

Do you so that we workplace like what is that like. Is that like a bunch of cubicles. There's like a common area, you know, and then they have like you can pay like a bunch of money for like the little cubicles that you like open and close and you know, you leave your stuff there. But if you just pay for like the common area, it's like it's basically a Starbucks where you're not required to buy a coffee. And there's a lot of outlets.

I'm not going to fight some guy for an outlet. Right. And he's charging his phone all day like, hey, man, I got one. I'm plugging my laptop. Know you know that's happened.

And yeah, that definitely Starbucks gets minimized. They don't have the lot. And you can't charge your laptop on those wireless ports either.

No, you can. This thing you put I've tried. I waited a long time, but yeah. So you go there and they have these meeting rooms. So it's like your pass allows you to get these meeting rooms.

Like how much does it cost to use one of those places? Like two hundred bucks for how long?

What I mean, like like a month. Oh, OK, yeah, oh, that's not bad. Some of them go up to like 300, but it's like the whole month and I thought, I like 200 bucks for a day. Like, that's crazy. No, no, no. What seems like a lot of me I like to something, but it's like, you know, you get coffee there.

They have coffee, they have free coffee or. Oh, really? Beer. Some of them beer. You getting drunk. Oh man. We work. I don't know.

It's a good place for me to go work. And I'm not you know, I'm not being stared at by the barista who's like, hey, are you going to buy coffee or not? Right. I know that's the coffee cup you bought last week. I like to hang it.

Some people really do enjoy working around groups of people, too. They feel like they get charged up. Do you do that? Yes. And that's why I like I don't ever see myself living in the countryside. I need to be around people. I get energized for me. It's like, you know, looking at people walk by, just people watching. It's it's it's meditative. You know, just what New York, if I could I would pick up and go there and live.

I just love the busyness. Even now with the covid, it's probably cheaper.

The way I look at it. I like you think like I think I'll take one of those bird masks with me. Yeah. All right.

Well, hey, Suze, tomorrow night, the day this comes out, it will be tonight, 6:00 p.m. Pacific, 9:00 p.m. Eastern. Stay home Sundays. I was called. Stay at home. Stay at home, son. Stay at home, son. On Showtime. Thank you, my brother.

Thank you so much. That means a lot. Thank you so much. Thank you very much. We just touched you see that crazy hand sanitizer.

I love you, buddy. Thank you.

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