Editor's Note: Accuracy is not guaranteed; you can help us get better by highlighting mistakes and suggesting edits! Please fill out this survey if you wish to learn more about us and our mission or send me an email.
Hello, friends, welcome to the show, this episode, the podcast is brought to you by on it and the on it body weight program, a six week workout plan that you can do from home. And it's now free for doctors and nurses. And this is our way of showing appreciation to the frontline health care workers who have responded so bravely to the coronavirus pandemic at on it. We believe that the best way to achieve any goal is to recognize that the body, the mind and the spirit are intertwined.
Improvement in one area specifically will bring progress universally. Well, a deficiency in anything will hold back everything these programs are designed by. On its chief fitness instructor, my friend John Wolf, and his group of world class instructors, the program was developed for use with no equipment. The programs focus on improving your strength, conditioning and overall fitness and well-being. Much research has shown that when a person is vigorously active and in shape, he or she maintains a stronger immune system.
In addition to greater mental acuity and physical endurance, fitter health care providers make for more resilient force on the front lines of this global crisis. For this reason, they are giving the on it six body weight program to these workers. Absolutely free start today and you could be looking and feeling your best in just six short weeks. These are really amazing programs, folks. There's a ton of them there for Kettlebell the body weight program is fantastic. You got to try for a limited time.
Nurses, doctors and health care professionals can get the program for free, go to Onat Dotcom to learn more. And I can't stress this enough on is just amazing company. I'm very, very honored to be a part of them. And we sell top notch shit, including these fantastic fitness routines.
We're also sponsored by Groove Rings by Groove Life. I wear one of these things there. If you ever look at my finger and you see that black wedding ring, that's what these are. It's a groove ring. And the reason why I wear them is I don't know if you ever seen what happens to someone when their wedding ring digs into the tissue around the finger.
Just Google wedding ring injuries and you'll find out why so many people who are physically active choose to wear a silicone ring. Well, these rings were founded by Peter Goodwin, an Alaskan mountain and bear hunting guide. And he needed a ring that was safe to wear while guiding that also performed and didn't sweat other silicone ring sweat. But groove rings have breathable channels that allow air in and moisture out. Kick started in twenty sixteen and it has grown exponentially. They're located in Nashville, Tennessee, a true American business.
They have grown from two employees to over a hundred in just four years and they make and decorate all their rings under one roof. In Nashville, the new ZUS with enties stretch tech. And not only did groove life solve the sweat problems, their newest Zoosk rings are made with an inner anti's stretch band. They flex and will break safely, but they don't stretch ever. Our buddy Michael Chandler, one of the top fighters over Bellator who has been on the show before, he swears by these loose rings and they have a ninety four year no bullshit warranty.
They say B.S., but you know what that means. Ninety four years, a long time for warranty, for a silicone ring. But break it, tear it, even lose it. And it's covered. And if it breaks after ninety five years, I mean are you really going to complain the license with the NFL, NCAA plus they have the original camo patterns of Mossy Oak, cryptic and real tree. Get yours at Rogan Love's Groove Dotcom and use the code Rogan at checkout to get fifteen percent off.
So that's Rogan Love's Groove Dotcom and use the code Rogen for 15 percent off. We're also brought to you by Master Class. Master Class is a program online that allows you to choose from a bunch of different interesting courses and lets you learn from the best with exclusive access to online classes taught by the masters of their craft. Specifically, how about this one? Aaron Franklin teaches Texas style barbecue. If you've ever been to Austin, Texas, you should know that Franklin's barbecue is legendary.
I have eaten there. I've actually had somebody bring it to us, add on it. They have spectacular barbecue and Aaron Franklin will teach you how to do it with master class. And they have a ton of different classes. When you go to the master class website, you'll see all kinds of cool stuff that you can learn. Malcolm Gladwell can teach you writing. One of my favorite authors, Carlos Santana, teaches you the art and soul of guitar.
I mean, Ron Howard will teach you directing, there's so much you can learn, so interesting, I highly recommend you check it out. You can get unlimited access to every master class. And as a Jarry listener, you get 15 percent off the annual all access pass. Go to master class dot com slash Rogan. That's master class dotcom slash Rogen for 15 percent off master class. We're also brought to you by one of my all time favorite beers, Blue Moon.
Once in a blue moon, moments should happened more than once in a blue moon. It's an awesome beer, folks. It's delicious. It's interesting. It's unique. And Blue Moon is a celebration of the moments we spend together, even when we're apart.
Oh, and right now it's important for us to find that special in every day to keep our spirits up. And for a refreshing take on the every day, try a twist on the traditional Belgian wit with Blue Moon.
Blue Moon is a beer that I've been drinking forever.
I've been drinking Blue Moon for probably at least a decade. And it was actually they came up with the name because a satisfied taster said a beer that's good only comes around once in a blue moon. Well, you can enjoy Blue Moon and you can get it delivered to you. How about that? Maybe you're one of those people. I'm not going anywhere. Well, you can visit, get dot blue moon beer, dotcom and see what your delivery options are.
And in some areas, local delivery is available in one to three hours.
Oh, how about that? You're thinking right now I can have a beer in my hand in an hour. Maybe. Blue Moon is carefully crafted for one of a kind appearance and flavor. It's a full flavored beer with refreshing notes. Unlike any other beer. Valencia orange peel for subtle sweetness, coriander provides balance and oats create a smooth and creamy finish. Best served in a glass with a signature orange garnish to showcase its beautiful, hazy color. Next time you need a taste of the extraordinary open up a blue moon jet blue moon delivered by visiting get dot blue moon beer dotcom and see your delivery options.
Blue Moon Reach for the moon. Celebrate Responsibly. Blue Moon Brewing Company Golden Colorado Ale. My guest today is a very good friend of mine and one of the best stand up comics to ever do it.
He is in a new movie called King of Staten Island, and he has a new season out of his animated show called F is for Family. He's one of the greats.
Please give it up for my brother, Mr. Belabour Government by the Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day. Podcast by night. All day. Hello, sir. Good to see you. Good to see you, too. We're just talking about like you have two kids now.
You have a real family. You got to get an SUV. Yeah.
We had something that just once you get the two car seats in the back and then, you know, with all the shit for the kids and then all the shit your wife has, all of a sudden it's just like, oh, I now understand maybe this suburban. Yeah. Which was a long blazer.
And you look at that thing like, who the fuck needs all of that unless you're like homeless and that's where you live. But then you're like, oh, I get it again. If you have three or four kids. Yeah, you definitely need one.
You definitely need one. They always bring a bunch of shit with them too. They want to bring stuff. So you have to have yeah. It's a room for a toy or this or that.
Those Tesla ones you were talking about, those are great X with the crazy doors.
Yeah. The Lambo doors. Yeah. That's a dope. Never seen them dance. Now Tiffany Haddish had one.
She's in the back of the Comedy Store. I heard that she said it to dance and she puts music on and the wings start going off and the car starts turning left and right. It's actually pretty bad ass. It's fun.
She's one of the most fun people I've ever hung out with fun. I wish I was I wish I was there for that.
She had the covid. She had it. She got it over. She she kicked it.
I'm surprised more comics didn't get it the way with shaking hands and meeting people after shows.
Um. Yeah, I somehow I got my wife and the kids, we had to get tested, so I was clean. Clean, yeah, big jokes and got it, he had it in his client. Feels weird to be talking about people that have it.
Yeah, I know a lot of people that call it. Yeah, I know about nine.
You like naming names like Joe McCarthy. You know, they're fine now. Well I like people who have had it now because they have the antibodies. They think they can like walk on fire. It's like do this thing is a brand new thing. I don't know if you want to be testing. You know, I got a buddy of mine ended up getting it and then he was just like, oh, I got tested.
I got the antibodies. So now I think he feels like he's bulletproof.
So they don't even know if you can catch it again. They don't. They really have no idea. Well, people are going to find out. Yeah, we're going to find out. Yeah, because I when I was driving over here, I actually got into a moderate level of traffic on the highway.
Like I've noticed. That's just at some point. I mean, considering people are just kind of doing what they want to do. And a lot of people were after two weeks, everyone just sort of depending on where your ego was.
You know, to me, this is fucking something.
I'm going to go outside those people. They just kept it going. So now I just feel like, well, you can't have 60 percent of the population go broke because less than one percent has something.
Yeah. So I don't know.
I think we're just going to just go back. I think we're just going to go back and if you get it, you get it. And if you die, you die. And if you don't, you don't. And then eventually they're going to they're going to get something that'll slow it down or stop it or something like this.
It slows down your fucking immune system. They don't tell you a goddamn thing about that. They don't tell you how to take care of your immune system. There's no word about that. It's put a mask on, wash your hands. No one's telling you. Sleep more, drink water, take vitamins. There's none of that. Yeah.
And I know this one guy brought up vitamin D and his big podcast's and then you couldn't find it anymore. Do you like fucking Oprah when she attacked the meat industry? I just saw a clip of this guy on Roger Night. I didn't even research.
So who the guy was, it was just like, I am a woman. That's how much I pay attention and I go, I got a fucking health food store.
It's all gone. And there's some bootleg vitamin D. I was like vitamin D plus some like, what is that? What is that?
I know that that that probably going to make me catch it. So I just take vitamin C and I try to get eight hours sleep. And I, I've been I've been doing a pretty good job of a pretty antisocial like a lot of comics.
So I haven't had a problem stealing away from everybody. My wife for you, I quarantine in my house like my wife. So you guys sit down and have dinner with us. I'm always open for I'm alone. No one can hurt me.
It's just leftover childhood shit just coming from a family of loners.
So you feel weird. Not doing stand up was up like I did not miss it at all. But I think that whenever there's something like painful in my life, I think that that's what I do is I just go, I don't care, I don't give a fuck.
It's all I really learned a lot more about myself during this quiet time of not running around and going to airports and kind of sitting with myself and being like, wow, I thought I was way further down the road working on myself than I was.
But I have a lot of fucking childhood issues left over.
I got a lot I was like I really started, like all these puzzle pieces just started coming in and I was able to look all the way back where I was to where where I am now and how I got here and these little fucking things that happened to me, you know, good things and bad that just sort of just knocked me down this road that I'm on.
It was just sitting alone with a long time.
Yeah, well, you know, my wife was going through the third trimester, you know, when, you know, when they just over it and you're like, oh, God, this six weeks ago, I really have no like, oh, now, you know, I finally, you know, get my daughter to bed, get her to bed.
Everything was good. Make sure all the doors were locked.
And then I was just sort of like, why, you know, all these years of doing stand up, I'm just up at that hour. Right. So I was just sort of, you know, sitting kind of by myself, like, I, I don't know.
I haven't been watching TV like the news. You just brought up three things. You see, it's going on Seattle with the fucking FCC. Whatever he says, I don't know.
I don't know what is what is Tifa Antifa?
They call themselves antifascists and they're they wear masks and carry sticks and helmets and shit and intimidate people.
Exactly. Stop fascism. They use fascination like stop fascism. And they blocked off I think, six blocks of Seattle and they declared it a police free zone. This is occupied by the people of Seattle. And you you can't use money in that police freeze out you.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's not going to end well then well at all. That's the only thing that's going to keep it from ending badly is that Seattle is kind of a fucked up city. They tolerate a lot of homelessness. Seattle got a lot of weird laws, like it's a it's a I forget the way it's described. I think it's a mutual combat state. That's what's described. So, like, if you're in front of a cop, save, save.
I'm a cop and you and Jamie decide to duke it out. You can just say you want to fight, motherfucker. And you go, yeah, I want to fight. And the cops will let you fight because it's some Wild West mining shit from like the fucking sixteen hundreds settle it like men.
The books, no lawsuits. I like it. You can duke it out in the middle of the street. It's very dangerous.
No people getting knocked out in the street is fucking terrifying because they fall and they hit their head and they go unconscious and there's no ref to stop those last nine hemolysis.
I think the cops are supposed to do that. Cops are supposed to act as a referee to this. There's videos of guys getting into street fights in Seattle and cops just standing around watching. Yeah, it's weird. In fact, I don't have a problem if two people are willing to do it and they they're, uh, they know the risks, you know, if you get hit, you're going to fall and crack your head on the back of the curb there.
I mean, a lot of them are drunk, though. They don't know the risks. There was one of them. This is this kid. I think his last name is foder. I think Carlos photo or he was a mermaid fighter and he would dress up like a superhero. Would you see if you can find out what you remember his name anyway?
He actually knew how to fight and he was dressed like a superhero. So he's kind of baiting people to fuck with them. And he's walking on the street and these guys fuck with them and they hilarious. They decide to go at it. And then, you know, he's bouncing around like a real pro fight and start slamming leg kicks in on this guy. See this guy's face like, oh, my God, what the fuck have I signed up for?
He's just some drunk asshole and some dude dressed like a superhero.
I don't have any sympathy for those people. I think he called himself Phoenix Jones. If I saw a guy walking around dressed like a superhero, I'd be like, that guy's out of his fucking mind.
And I would give him a wide berth. Yeah, hoping he was on his way to his place of solitude or whatever.
Maybe he's on his way home to his ice house is on the way to the Batcave.
Awesome. Cause I was younger. Yeah.
I might have, you know, if I was standing in a crowd. Yeah. I probably would have done some good punk shit like that.
A couple of whiskeys and yeah. I get my fucking orange wig slapped off. Yeah, probably.
So Seattle is run by a warlord, some one fucking dude apparently according to my friend who's a seal was running this entire seven block or six block area of Seattle. They spray painted all the windows on this.
Yeah. You know, OK, talk to me in three days. It's been going on a lot longer than that.
It'll be fine. Do you think so? What's going to happen?
Do you think this war what he's going to have ten blocks and then eleven and then he's going to take over all of Washington? I mean, he's going to run out of men. They have guns.
OK, that's the problem. The problem is they're openly carrying rifles inside this six block.
I know, but they need to eat, OK? And then no supplies are going to get in that seven blocks. They're just going to wait them out or they're going to come in with superior firepower. And it's not going to end well, Joe.
I don't think it's going to end well. I'm just I don't know how it's going to end.
All right. Let's let's let's guess the scenario, OK? All right. How many bodies? What's the overunder? Four people die.
How many are there? How many of them are there?
Thousands of thank yous. And you're only going with four.
That's a good number. That's like a Vegas number we like. Fuck, that was like the perfect like a Orrego. Under this, the price is right.
I don't know how many fucking people are in there, but the photos that I saw, the place is packed, filled with people like like they're just getting out of a Chappelle show.
Look at this. These are the people that took city hall.
Oh, they took city hall. They own city now.
Now, most of them are white. So I don't see the staying power of this.
What did you say? They opened the door for them. They gave them city hall. So this is city hall they're walking into right now. Yeah, this is yeah.
Well, this is going to be funny now when they get in and they don't know what to do. Let me have some volume on this. Jamie, you wanna hear what the fuck the L.
It's very simple, Jamie Masada, he's got to go to the Laugh Factory in Long Beach, got looted last night.
Oh, God, I can't imagine. I mean, puppets, they took their puppets, factory floors, these giant creepy fucking mannequins that places. You know, I love that place. I love performing there. But some of the Jamie's decor, I love mine. My favorite things to do in this business is shit on Jamie Masada.
He knows I love Buddy Bellbird back Black Lives Matter, but they don't burn down my club.
Yes, please, buddy. Please, buddy. This business has always been weird like that. There's always no.
That's why you're the king. Do it because you got outside of it, but you're totally in it. And they can't. They can't get you. They can't get you.
I, you know, piling up some stories here, being in the Matrix, I won't get into them. But it's the same. It's just the same.
Old corporations only know how to do business one fucking way.
Well, just they push their advantage. They push their advantage, they have their leverage. And they want the biggest slice of the pie.
That's that's what I don't have a problem with that. It's when they go beyond that and they just straight up steal, are they stealing from the. Everybody does.
Every every time you get in business with, like corporate guys, this is how it works. It's like the check, OK, we're in business to make money from them and then you get in business with them and the check goes to the corporate guy and then you get your cut off of his checkbook. So right there I am immediately in a situation where there's no way I can steal from him, but he can rob me fucking blind.
Right. And you can add a bunch of expenses on the things that front end load expenses to make it look like they're losing money and. Yeah. Hollywood accounting. Yeah. No, it's stealing. It's stealing is what it is. They just call it Hollywood accounting, but it's not Hollywood accounting. It's, it's corporate accounting. It's scumbag accounting. That's just and it's how they do it.
And they sleep at night and they always say, oh, that's over in the accounting section of the building, not over here.
Well, me and my yacht are I'm like artist friendly. You know, I majored in fucking liberal arts in college. Well, it was really interesting. When podcast started to take off, they started to try to get in with the old model and weasel into podcasts and buy pieces of podcasts.
And like, if you do a deal, your deal is going to if you think the fucking industry is going to sit back when they didn't get to wet their beak on that thing.
I'm going to tell every young comic when we get back to this shit is what they're going to do now is what the music industry did, what they said. It started saying straight across the board deals, they're going to get some young kid who's got no power in the business.
And it's just like, you know, we'll help you create a podcast, you know, we signed with so-and-so, blah, blah. And what they're going to do is they're going to own the podcast. The advertising money is going to go to them and they're going to rob them fucking blind.
They're going a hundred percent. One hundred percent going to fucking steal from them, rob them fucking blind. And then when they get audited and they get caught stealing, they're going to label that kid, that young comic, difficult to work with, meaning difficult to steal from. That's it's already happening.
Yeah, I know guys who young guys. I won't name any names, but they've come out to me go, hey, I'm signed this management company. They want to sign me, but they want a piece of my podcast now. They want a piece of this and they want there's no reason.
There's no reason. Yeah. You got to tell people that. You get to tell. Oh, I got to tell people. Do not don't give up anything. Don't give up anything. Don't ever. It's all you talk.
They're not going to do anything for you. What they're going to do is move the ball quicker. Yeah. At first fucking two years and then the rest is all going to be you. If you just hang in there and struggle a little bit like you got to grind, you just going to hang in there and keep going.
I mean, I got a lot of offers to buy half of the podcast or to buy and nothing I wouldn't. I won't I won't do it and I'll never do it. But then Spotify came along and they said, we'll give you a licensing deal. So just put it on our network. Yeah, but you still own it, right? I can't win. And that's that's why we did it that way. But this this comic that I won't name, he was telling me that this management company, they want to sign him.
They wanted to own a piece of his podcast forever. And I that eventually become.
Yeah, because what they're going to look at it is they're going to make it like if you started a podcast while you watch this manager or why you with this agent, it'll be like back in the day when you booked a sitcom. Exactly. And then if you left the agency of the manager throughout the lifetime of that sitcom, you owed the commission to them. But back then that you needed them to do that. You don't need them for the podcast, but they're going to do that.
So then you're going to leave this manager and then for the rest of your fucking life, you're going to be paying this never ending alimony. Yeah, I mean, there'll be guys eventually they'll try to take fifty sixty.
I own your podcast. Managers will start agents will start podcast networks because there's nobody regulating them to not do that anymore.
I got an offer just five years ago from a company that was a radio company. They wanted 50 percent of the podcast, we're going to give me no money. They want 50 percent of the podcast just to be associated with them.
And like, we're going to pull together all these advertisers and it's going to help your revenue amount 50 percent so that they never deliver what they say they're going to.
And then they come in and they just they just they gut the thing.
Well, the beautiful thing about podcasts is podcasts all get big on word of mouth. Like, I've never advertised this podcast. I never did anything with it. I never bought billboards or put ads up anywhere. It's just from word of mouth and the way other podcasts grow as people get on people's podcasts and they say, hey, you listen to Bill Burr's podcast, Monday morning podcast, fucking hilarious.
And then it just grows.
And I think it's the job of people making money and podcasting to let new podcasts know. Do not sign those things ever.
Do not let the fox into the henhouse because they are going to fucking rob you blind and you don't need.
And I saw this documentary one time on this heavy metal band, Anvil. Right. This crazy thing about this band that just was around forever and never quite made it. And there was I think it was I think it was that one. It's one of those ones about an old, like metal band from the 80s.
And this guy said, like, the truest shit ever when he was talking about the music business.
And this goes straight across podcasting, everything he goes, you're better to own something one hundred percent and only sell 20000 copies, then you are to not own it at all and sell 20 million like you're literally going to make more if you just sell 20, 20 crazing.
Yeah, no, because and then another thing that they dharmic I do. Another thing that they do is then that all the people that they lose on, they dump that on you.
Yes. Yes. Like I remember one time I forget what I was with this network and I had a CD that was already made, I already made it and I just wanted them to put it out on their label. And they and they wanted to own the CD. And I was like, no, I'm not no, I don't want you to own it.
I just need you to to to like distribute it. I need you as a distributor. And the guy said to me goes, well, you know, ownership shouldn't be that big a deal for you. It should be about exposure. I said, all right. Well, let me ask you this. If ownership shouldn't be that big a deal to me, why is it such a big deal to you? And he started like Stammer. And then he basically said, well, you know, we get in business with somebody named a couple other comics who CDs didn't sell and we have to recoup those losses.
It's like that ain't my fault. That's hilarious. I could have told you not to sign that fucking jerk off. What is your it's not my fault you didn't do the fucking work. So that's the way.
I had another one more time I signed this is back when I made like CDs and I did one and I had a 60-40, you get you know, I was getting 60 and they were getting 40, but their 40 was off. The gross mine was off the net. An all expenses for the album was on me. It's like I thought we were doing this together. Every fucking thing, the artwork, printing it, all of that, all of those expenses came to me.
And in the end, that's 60, 40, 60 net, 40 gross. They made way more money than I did.
It's just how they do like, oh, OK. Well, I'm getting six dollars on every ten. Yeah. Plus anything. It's just hilarious that they would come up to you and tell you that we did some deals with some of comics to wanted to make this TV show in the fucking guise sense. This the bill for the whole fucking thing. I shouldn't be saying that. But this is a while ago, right? The guy was going to Bill is twenty five hundred bucks a month to use this copier machine and then another, I don't know, 4500 bucks to use his editing.
Let's say we have both of those things. We don't need those. Let's take that money and put it on the screen. We're trying to get this thing to go. And and the guy like, oh, a funny shit.
He goes like, I'm insulted by those questions is something like that, which is my favorite thing ever.
The the event like the what is the I don't know, you're a fucking thief and you actually have the audacity to be like taken aback, like a fanning yourself. I can't believe it's like it's how many fucking shows you charging. Twenty five hundred bucks a month to go, you know, fucking use your copy machine.
Yeah. A lot of money. That's rent for a nice apartment. No fucking thieves exceed.
How much does it cost to use that copy machine. Really. First of all, the coffee machine probably doesn't even cost 2500 bucks.
Probably renting it. Yeah, probably rent it for a couple hundred bucks a fucking month. But even to buy a car, he probably has nine shows paying twenty five hundred bucks a month from the guy, the Tavey. That's it.
If you have like a really big one, one of those commercial grade copy machines, what did it cost. Ten grand. I mean, how much could it cost?
I mean, I think he's bought a couple of houses off of owning that copier machine.
And I just I just love telling these fucking stories because these are the things that you like. What's great about podcasting is you can say this. This is for every person out there as a fucking business.
And, you know, there's that thing where you want to take it to the next level.
And then these these guys come in and then they're all just like, yeah, well, hey, we're going to take a piece of it. And they take a big fuckin chunk out of it. And what they do is their risk is all the way down here. Yours is up here.
And then somehow they just I'm telling you, like you better you better to sell twenty thousand copies on it. A hundred percent then twenty million and not own any of it. You're going to make more money. That's just how the game is played. And those fucking guys who steal from people, they they sleep very comfortably.
But it's also just podcast. Just the stress of dealing with other people's eliminated. Just the stress of dealing with production people slows down it slows it down, slows down.
It's awful. Yeah. I mean, the only thing Spotify has ever done so far is ask, do you know who the first guests will be?
And already I'm like, oh yeah, they're going to be who they're going to be, you know, they're going to be great. I'm going to try to get this friend called Funniest People. That's them justifying their desk.
Like, I can't just sit here like Joe knows what he's doing and the idea.
Well, what I'd like to start an email chain and we could maybe circle back later and have a conference call. And they're just trying to fill up there.
Yeah, they just haven't used time, but they have Spotify people have been great. They literally said, we don't want to do anything. We want you to just do what you're doing, just do what you're doing.
But even asking me who the guest going to be, I was like, oh, no, please let this be the only question. Yeah, I'm never available, and that's nothing, though, that's nothing, I mean, they're great, but could you imagine if you were doing that with a network, like imagine if you were in business with ABC or something like that and they were helping produce your podcasts? You'd have to go in for meetings. You'd have to go in and sign into the office.
Bill, you sign in here, you go and sit down and waste your fucking afternoon having some dopey conversation.
You kind of complain a lot when you read these letters, Bill. Do you have to when people are signing the emails, maybe you should be.
We could have. We read on the blah, blah, blah. And what do you think?
How do you feel about product placement? Because we've kind of got a great deal code.
Look, I just wanted to I just wanted to tell a few of those for younger people out there, because it actually really bothers me that people do that to people. Yes, it really bothers me.
And I love comics and I love seeing new comics coming up that have talent and I hate seeing them get fucked over.
So hopefully people listen and they do it, but they're fucking worms, man.
If there were worms, there's a lot of worms out there and there's a lot of worms to try to grab comics real that they're talented but real raw. And they try to lock you up some enormous lifetime management deal.
And when you take off and you have something to say if you're good.
I remember back in the day when everyone when companies were like shooting specials before comics started shooting them. And the amount of guys that got that, yeah, we only got enough money to shoot one, you know, to only you can only shoot at one time, but you're going to crush it. And you got this hour down. We only got enough in the budget and then they'd show up early and they'd be shooting another comic special on their money.
The deal to double them as a management company, what they would get or an agency, the amount of fucking times that that happened with the same audience.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Oh, do you want to have the best one I ever heard? Jim Breuer was filming a special Sold Out This theater, and the people that were filming the special told him that the money for the ticket sales was theirs because it was all about the production, because the money that people were paying for the production, he's like, the fuck are you talking about? This is my audience. That's my money. His management tried to steal the money from ticket sales and say that it went towards production.
Went all the way to court with it. Managers on the way to court has a fucking panic attack because the hospital, like the whole thing, is a nightmare. I think she won. Yeah, yeah, it was thievery, thievery like these people are paying to see Jeff buy her a million of those fucking stores.
But this is the thing. This is what kills me about a lot of this. There's rhetoric that's going on out there, which I agree with 90 percent of it, but if you if you agree with one hundred percent of it, like you and I are not supposed to be having stories like this, we're supposed to be the ones doing it. And it's just like you.
I mean, like as far as the the whole, you know, oh, you're a white male heterosexual, you know, Dorje just fly open and people like, hey, what do you dream they like.
I'm not saying and I'm not obviously not bitching, but I'm just saying that like, like people will fuck you.
It's all about money.
They talk about money, they don't give a fuck. And they and they all those people that do that shit. Really.
Yeah. So there's a long history of Hollywood accounting. There's a long history that I mean, there's been so many stories about people who made Keiller hit movies and never got paid because Hollywood's like, look, you know, we had this much had to go to advertising and this is the production.
We cut bad.
Elvis got fucked. Oh, yeah. Elvis got fucked so bad. And then one of the main ways he got fucked on the road, he only did one out of the country date, I believe he did Toronto.
And he never traveled the world because his manager had something going on with his visa. And he was worried if he left, he wouldn't be able to come back.
So that kind of like fuckin Elvis in a ton of fuckin money and see in the world or whatever the fuck he might have wanted to do.
Keep doing these movies. Elvis, you know what?
To go on the road. That is hilarious. Well, you know, the best version of breaking down how corrupt the music business is was by Courtney Love. They said she had a ghostwriter. I don't know. But she did.
But it was it's a it's a great article that she wrote documenting exactly how much you get paid versus how much money gets generated and where it all goes and how they fuck you.
Yeah. Now, it's it's they've always done it that way. I mean, that's just always the way they've done it. That's the answer.
And people that's the answer to it is. Well I mean that's how that's how it's done.
So whatever I don't want to fucking sit here bitching the whole time I smoked cigars. Are you done.
I quit but I smoke like one or two a month. Oh. Oh, God damn it, Joe.
I got these from Mike Binder. I got y. Yes, look at that.
Well I guess I didn't quit today did come and Billy.
We doing this. Yes. Let's do it. OK, come on. We got to celebrate yet kid.
You have to. Here you go. On my birthday yesterday. Oh that's right. Happy birthday.
Thank you. Thirty eight again. Fifty two brother. Holy shit. That's me. Two fifty two. Pick up. There's no weird number like you say it.
It doesn't seem real.
Well I think in your 50s nothing matters until the odometer flips to sixty and then you just like fuck. Yeah I know. Sixty guys in their 60s they're cutting in there. Yeah. Sorry guys in their 60s this the Ted Nugent one. Look at this with the fucking. That's a serious one.
That's from Benchmade Knives. That's a awesome knife company. They gave me a good cigar cutter.
Mm hmm. You sound like Bill Murray, in fact. And what about Bob, which I just watched the other day?
You know, when he's a great movie, that's a perfect movie. Oh, my. He's fucking eating.
We did a family movie night, basically every day. The pandemic was. First couple of first couple of months, basically every night we watch new movie was every single Adam Sandler movie watch Groundhog Day again. I forgot how good Groundhog Day was. These are delicious. Shout out to my commander. He had a very good. More anyway, anyway, but podcasting is up. Yes, well, it's a great business. I mean, I started off because I was kind of depressed because I had to move here from moved back here from Colorado.
I thought I had escaped. I thought I was gone. It's like I'm out of luck, L.A. I can't take this crowds and everything. I want peace and I want the wilderness to live in the mountains.
I remember that.
And you had to have a Glock when you went out to go get your mail saying we get eaten by a fucking bobcat or something.
My whole life. My whole life. Yeah. Yeah. I saw one in the yard like that. So that could be an issue. I know it's basically a middleweight tiger.
To welterweight welterweight 150 pounds under 47, welterweight tiger welterweight boxing, at least welterweight MMD 170.
Yeah, yeah. It's a weird animal to see in the woods too, because, you know, if that thing runs at you, like you literally have no chance. They're scared of you that they don't want nothing to do with you. For the most part, if they if they're really hungry and really old, they'll fuck you up.
That's why I, I try to tell, you know, my wife when I whenever you're outside, I'm like, Mama Bear is next to the cub. Always, always I go these coyotes and they're getting bald because everyone was inside. Yeah. And they come down every night looking for a little dog or a little fucking cat. You hear that shit going down.
Mm hmm. In the hills, everyone big like, you know, wants to isolate. You just hear. Which is basically the dog, like, what the fuck is that, you know, fucking brutal? Yeah, it's gross. It's scary because a little little cleanup crew goes around and catches animals slipping in the backyard. Yeah, I don't understand people that little dogs, because those fucking coyotes, they'll figure out a way. Oh, yeah, well, they're very smart.
They, you know, they have to survive. They figure out a way. Yeah, well, creepy fucks.
Yeah, they are a little creepy fucks everywhere. Can I. Every city.
Can I promote this movie is for family to f is for family season for coming out tomorrow. Tomorrow. I got two big things coming out and then that's it. I'm dried up because everybody interviews. What's next for you after these two things. It's I, it's it it's it's the pandemic.
I have got to start going on the road at all. Uh, clubs are opening up. Yeah. I'm going to see how you guys do. You know, it comes back with a cough. I let you guys walk towards the atom bomb that they just I mean, I got a little one at home, so I think I'm going to chill until like September unless it's just wide open by chill. I mean, if things go well, I'm going to I'm going to try to do some shows at the Troubadour because I know that they're hurting.
And that's one of my favorite venues. All these bands that I love have played their troubadour on Santa Monica.
Yeah. So they're kind of they're, you know, they're in a bad way because of this. So I'm going to try to do a little run of shows down there. You know, are they available? You can do that. Not available yet.
But when they are available, I'm going to try to do like a three night thing down there, you know, work for free, get the rust off that people pay for tickets, buy a bunch of booze and some troubadour T-shirts and keep that place going. Man, that's great.
Yeah, I'll do that. Yeah, well, I'll do that too. Let's do it. I'll do it. Yeah. That sounds like fun. Yeah. I went there twice this year.
I saw Everlast there and I saw Sturgill Simpson and Steve Martin open for Richard Pryor there. Wow. I like read this great Steve Martin article where he was talking about, uh, opening for him there.
So it also has like some comedy history there.
When I was there, I was saying this is a perfect venue for comedy. It's like 500 seats. It's awesome. It's got a balcony. I could be a great place for stand up.
Yeah, it's the stores need the store needs help, too. Everybody needs help. Improv needs help.
Well I know the is good. Once they can open up I know they're going to be fine. Mm hmm. So because I'm going to be down there all the time anyway. Yeah. So as far as I think between now and September, if they start opening things up, there's a bunch of little theaters that are around that. I would just, you know, pop in and do a night. Like I said, just work for free, have the people pay, you know, whatever for some tickets and buy whatever they're selling there, you know, knock the.
Well, yeah. You know, because I'm not going to have people pay full price. I mean, I haven't taken this amount of time off since I started.
Yeah. You know, like my last gig was March 10th, the Dean del Rey Bon Scott tribute to you. You should have come down for that.
And I couldn't. I had another thing happen. It looked like a lot of Dean fucking murdered the band, murdered.
It was fucking. And we had a great comedy kind of crazy voice.
It's just it really sneaks up on you because they'll sing in the car you like, but then you see him when he's with the band and the microphone and everything.
When that video that you guys put on Instagram with him singing a whole lot of rosy, I was like, holy fuck, he's really good.
Well, he did it for like fifteen, twenty years, you could tell. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's legit. Yeah, yeah.
I was a good time and then it was over and then it was over. Yeah. Strange. Yeah. I got some gigs lined up. I'm an announcement next week but I'm going to, I'm just going to hit the road, do some fucking clubs, knock the rest of it. Looks like the store is not listed as a bar. It's listed as an entertainment live entertainment venue because they're opening up bars and restaurants and all these different things. And the store, they kind of they try to label it as a nightclub.
But Peter Shor's like it's like a nightclub. No one's no one's milling around. You you sit down, you go in and sit down. It's more like it's more so what do they need to be classified as to open up?
Well, they need a different distinction for comedy clubs. They don't really have one. And, you know, there's a good argument, a real good argument. The comedy club should be some sort of an essential business because people need to blow off some steam. It feels good. It's really good for you.
Look, if I was a guy working a regular job and I was used to going to the store every couple of months, knock some, you know, knock some laughs into me, I mean, I'd be fucking chomping at the bit to go see some comedy right now.
Oh, I think they're going to be packed. I remember I was in New York during 9/11 and I was like, as anything ever going to be funny again. And it was like a, you know, like a two week lull.
And then they were just fucking packed. Yeah. Yeah. It was actually became almost like a second, like boom or whatever way back in the day.
I'm worried about a second wave of the corona. I'm worried about them locking things down. Someone's going to step in and stop them from doing that next next wave. You guys got to be proactive. You got to do something about people's immune systems. You got to lock down old people and sick people, let regular people do whatever the fuck they want.
You can't you can't just lock people's freedom down for something that killed a small fraction of what you thought it was going to kill.
The whole thing is it's just fucking. Creepy to have guys like Mayor Garcetti be in charge of telling people whether or not they get to work. That's not what a government is supposed to be.
That's trying. But they're trying to look out for your best interests in trying to get four hundred million people to all pull in the same direction is fucking you can't get 40 comics to pull in the same direction. So why did they have, like, an impossible. They did and they didn't. There was those people fucking write the whole fucking time. There's been fucking assholes on my street walking around, no masks, you know, not quarantining like the people that come by the houses.
You see the fucking you know, the same people that were going in and out of the house who are not part of their family, still going in and out of the.
I want people to walk down the street with a mask on.
Let's not start this joke. You know, let's not start this, OK? Let's turn. I don't want to start this bullshit.
I'm not going to sit here with no medical degree listening to you with no medical degree, with an American flag behind you, smoking a cigar, acting like we know what's up better than the CDC.
All I do is I listen. I watch the news once every two weeks. I'm like, Maska, no masks still mask. All right. That's all I give a fuck about. I don't care.
But even they say you shouldn't wear a mask unless you're treating a coronavirus patient. The World Health Organization, they didn't say that initially. They didn't say it initially. No, they didn't. They did. And then it gradually and then.
And then everybody wore the fucking masks. This is like rollerblading, everybody fucking rollerbladed. And then there was that one fucking homophobic joke and then everybody acted like they never did it. And then one hundred million fucking rollerblades got thrown into the fucking ocean. We all wore masks. Then all of a sudden people are fucking sitting there.
Well, you don't have the body type for to your fucking knuckles would scrape on the ground even with that extra two inches.
I just love how wearing a mask became like this fucking, like, soft thing that you were doing, like being courteous, being courteous.
What is it for so stupid, first of all.
Oh, God, you're so tough with your fucking open nose and throat shiho and your five o'clock shadow. This is a man right here. Man doesn't wear a mask. Why does it always become like that?
It's always like the man is worse. The men do we make fun of things, anything, anything that seems like you're not taking chances. Right.
That's we don't have a problem with that unless you are already wearing the mask and then you're acting like you didn't. Then all of a sudden people watch your thing and then they all pile on this bitch wearing the mess.
It's like you were fucking doing it two weeks ago. I was scared out of my mind in the beginning.
In the beginning, like when the first when when everybody's shutting down the beginning and people are stockpiling food. I was convinced I was like, Jesus Christ, did you have like an elk in your basement?
You were you were the one person who was fined. Top-up is making bread plenty. I knew he was someone I was worried about.
I was worried about people I knew getting really sick and dying. And then I was convinced that I had it. At one point times I kind of had you feel like I'm breathing heavy. I felt like I watched my breath some my breath coming short.
I did I did like like psychosomatic issues. The thinking about it like that, I got over it.
I had a fucking panic attack sitting on fucking twelve elk. You had a fucking panic attack in the sauna and then you felt bad about yourself.
And then you attacked people with masks. That's how it works and that's how the hatred starts. And that's right. Now, why seven blocks of Seattle, you can't go now.
So I'm going to go and I'm going to drop off free food for those folks. Those find protection.
There is a major American city were seven blocks that people have took over it. And I had no idea what you were talking about. So that's great. Anything that I don't watch it.
I envy you at all. I envy that, that you just do that. You just shut everything down me every day. I check what part of the world on fire.
I don't like histeria. I don't like making decisions with histeria.
And I, I when I first became a dad, the histeria of other parents, I would just I would be looking at them, but I wasn't listening because that's all that's what was the tone of everything was saying, you know, better get some sleep now and you'd be like and then any time you say anything positive about your kid, how would your kid.
Seven weeks. Oh yeah. How is. Oh, she's great. She's great. Oh, wait till seven and a half weeks.
It's like it's like dude maybe you suck at it. Yeah. How about that. Yeah.
You sitting there with your fucking legs trembling. Right. All nervous and shit. Yeah. I don't, I don't like you know I'm already fucked in the head, I'm already fucked in the head. I don't need 24 hour news.
Never like who's that guy on Fox News. I always joke with Tucker. He's got great hair but horrible points. Like if his points were as good as his hair, which guy. He looks like a Kennedy. I mean, he's just he is the white guys, white guy. He was talking about black people going and when they come for you and they will they're going to you know, it's just like what you fucking told Hannity. I don't know who he is now.
It's not anti anything.
Was the guy who they they put with that fucking that that rooster at the chicken the end of his life looking guys like here's your liberal dude and all my relatives are.
Conservatives like I mean, look at him, I mean, he's so meek, it's like this thing is cast like a show. Yeah. Who is that guy that he was with? Hannity and Colmes Neocon's. And the one guy looked like he was on death's door and he was the he was gray.
He was gray. And the other guy looked like a football hero, astronaut with a square face, nice fucking hair, glasses.
He looked like Mr. Burns, right? Yes.
And he had no spine. He had no it wasn't strong arguer.
Oh, he was there. He was he was the Washington generals. The other guy was the Globetrotter Senate. That that ended at a conservative point.
And and then you put on CNN, you got all those fucking nitwits with the Situation Room and all of that, his brother.
This is why I wish that there was a comedy club, because there's a bit that's already come and gone was what I loved was when Colin Kaepernick when he was taken a knee.
Right. All the liberals were just like, well, hey, man, it's just like his opinion, man, this is a time to listen, man. And then everybody on the right side shut the fuck up and play football.
You fucking piece of shit. Don't disrespect the flag. Right? And then Drew Brees tweets something conservative and then all of a sudden everybody, the right's like, hey, man, this is just like his opinion, man. And then everybody on the left like you fucking racist piece of shit. I'm going to fucking cancel you. They literally do this. Everybody believes in, like, freedom of speech. As long as you're saying what they want to fucking hear is basically and that's why I fucking hate both of those news channels.
I actually divisive.
It makes my blood boil when I walk into a house with people I know if they're watching CNN or Fox, like I can't get past the like when people watch, like the Kardashians, it's like, why would you do that to your brain?
It is what it's like.
I mean, it's very toxic. It's very toxic. Both sides. And they they they never see any good points.
But the other side is making every video on the Internet starts after the thing happened. And it's like you're always like it's like you're getting eight episodes in and you're like, what the fuck? It's like you don't know what it's like. If you watched the last scene, a judge you like, what the fuck fucking you kill that shark.
There's enough sharks dying out there. You didn't see that this thing was specifically targeting human beings and he needed to do this, right. How does that relate to the news? I'm saying when you watch the news, people don't like not filming what leads up to whatever fucking confrontation happens? OK, so you're getting a very skewed. You don't know what happens, you know what a good version is, what they're saying happens could be what happened or a bunch of other shit.
I don't I don't understand. Good word. I'm supposed to watch something. You know, like this this obviously obviously like that ship, Minneapolis, was the most obvious shit. That guy is a murderer and those other three guys sat around and just watched him fucking do it. Well, guys, call it out. I can't breathe. And all of this shit and calling out for his mother was fucking sickening. That guy's a monster. Had the audacity to have a shock look on his fucking face.
That guy's terrible, right? But like what I'm saying is that thing had all of this, you kind of got the whole fucking thing when they came up. You had the whole thing.
There's so many other and I'm not just I'm not I'm a cop stuff. I'm just talking about anything.
I'm taking a little piece of somebody's stand up routine or a politician says this or voted he voted no on this. And what it is, is the shit that it's usually the shit that was attached to it, which is something I don't understand with politics. Like, why can't you just vote on what you're voting on? Like, should we have clean water? He actually should. And then like the shit that's attached to it, we can still fucking dump toxic shit in here.
And then when the guy goes to the woman goes to run, it's like, oh, this this person voted against the Clean Water Act.
This is your tree hugger. I'm Joe Blow and I approve this message.
Well, here's here's a good version of that. Remember the Covington School case? There was the kid had a maggot hat on and the Native American was beating the drums. The kid was smiling, looking at him, and they took it, pretending that this kid walked up to this Native American beating the drums and was smiling in his face and mocking them. What really happened is these kids were on a field trip for high school. They're selling Magots. The kids are sixteen.
There'd be an cherkovski, buy these hats and put a while. They're just having fun, very little supervision while they're there. These Native Americans are beating the drums and this guy walks up to the kid and gets in the kid's face and is beating the drum. Now, CNN, all these people went with his narrative. These kids were mocking him. The kid just stood there smiling while this Native American got in his face.
But the photo is disturbing that those you know, there used to be rules on ownership of media. Yeah, I think what way back in the day was like a rule of Sevan's.
Like no one person could own seven or any combination of radio TV because you can literally influence public opinion.
That's why, like I've watched and I do 12 years ago, I went down the Federal Reserve fucking rabbit hole. I became a fucking the guy you didn't want to talk to about the Federal Reserve. All of that share the plan. Is this federal and Federal Express? I want that island.
Yeah, all of that shit. And like. Watch. I just I just feel like in the last I don't know how many years where it's just all of a sudden they stop being just sort of everything they were.
I think reporting was always perverted to some level. And now it's just it's just you sort of watching, like, op ed pieces.
So this is somebody who doesn't watch anything and reads like, you know, autobiographies of football players in the 1950s.
So when this Covington school kid case, they sued the kid, sued and won the you know, the CNN painted him out to be a monster.
They were getting death threats and they did CNN issue a retraction.
I don't know what they did, but they paid him. I don't know what they.
But that's why I don't I don't like either one of those channels because of that. And it causes, I think, rational people like that guy, the guy the the fat dude on the bicycle suit ripping those pieces of paper are those girls heads.
Oh, yeah. Jesus Christ, that guy.
That is the result, I think, of watching one of those channels 24/7 and then going on Facebook and writing and capital letters.
Could you imagine if you were there watching that guy rip piece pieces of paper out of a little girl's hand like that that he didn't even know yelling and running up to her where the mother is yelling, you stop touching her, get your hands off her?
I would. Oh, that was the mom. I thought that was a friend. Whoever that was sound like a woman.
Like a woman yelling because it was a little girl.
He was doing everything but growling. Yeah. And then because then it gets to the point of like, what is in your head that you're trying to defend? Like, well, that's a guy. But then everybody vilifies the guy, which I would rather sit down and talk to that guy and be like, let me ask you this.
When you watch that, you know, Floyd video, like, what is it that you see? Because just yelling at them to cancel them and making him lose his fucking job, you're just going to make the guy even more angry and he probably has grandkids that he's going to fill there before before he dies.
What's the solution? Sit down. Talk to them. I think that should be part of it. But let's just sit down for a second. You were on a bicycle. You wanted to burn some calories. You obviously into it, by the way, you're dressed OK. You're enjoying America's great parks, right? You come across these kids, you know, do you like kids? Have you ever attacked a kid before? They're just putting a piece of paper up with the point of view.
What do you think led up to that level of a response? Because I have to be honest, like we've all fucking snapped and done.
I would like to think I have. And afterwards, I mean, like, what the fuck? Why did I argue that? Why did I say that? Why did I do that?
And the only way. To kind of prevent from you being a fucking asshole again, you have to kind of walk back and look at it, right?
So going at the guy, which I totally understand, because it was it was so bad, it was almost comical because he was borderline growling at them.
And, you know, it was really bad. He didn't even get the paper from the girl grabs the girl, the girl clenched or fist held onto the paper.
My favorite part was the sound of the bottom of his shoes that took a little thick.
You sound like a little show pony. He was trying to growl like a tiger and he sounded like my pretty pony.
Like somebody should have been combing his hair. So and I was sitting there going, look at this crazy old guy. And. OK. I don't know how how old I thought he was, but then he was like 60. I was like this guy's like only eight years older than me. So he graduated high school like eight years before. I was like, this guy is almost part of my generation. Like, what experiences did he have that he.
Looks at this whole thing like. You know, I mean, I'm not of that that that thing's saying all cops are like those guys. It's like, no, it's like you have to get those guys off of the force.
That's what I think. So. I just don't understand, like and that was my understanding, what they were putting up there was specific to the Minneapolis case.
So my thing is, as a human being, how could you have an issue with somebody trying to put something up, you know, honoring that guy or something positive about that? That's what I was confused.
I don't know what she put up. I'm not sure what you put up. It was definitely about the George Floyd protest. You know, maybe that's a great point.
I couldn't see what was written on the paper. And I just I filled that in when I watched it. And but I really couldn't get over the central issues, though.
Really fucking funny. I just started walking faster with the bike. It was almost like a great movie trailer for a horror film. Yeah, no, but could you be a 60 year old fat Vikramaditya if that was your daughter? So I may prejudice your daughter. You're sitting there and that guy runs up to your daughter and he's grabbing the paper out of her hand. He's running at her, grabbing the paper while a woman screaming at him to not touch her.
Don't you touch her. You know, I mean, imagine yeah, I mean, it's only one response as a father. Yeah. Murder. Yeah, yeah. I don't like murder. No.
What do you like maim? I want them to remember that he did it. That's interesting.
Let's start with the blown out ACL. And you go from there. Yeah. Beat him with this stupid shoe. Why do people I actually if I actually had to look up why people wear those shoes, that clip in, I know they do, but I'm like, what is the advantage of that?
Is there an advantage?
Yeah, I think I think it's when when you're coming up this way, you can you can still pull with your legs. So you're getting more of an efficient motion.
This one's really been really into hiking, biking and not putting paper on trees.
They'll put their dead relatives in their faces, just, oh, man, that would run up to a little girl like that and grab her grab paper out of her hand. There is. Click, click, click, click, that's before, but that's before he grabs her, Jamie.
Yeah, back it up from the beginning, because now as far as you with your martial arts background, you got to be impressed with the way he's using his bike there. No, he's sort of like trying to be a little heard shots of Maryland Takana.
What is this one? See right there? That's where.
It was caught on video attacking teenagers who were posting flyers about a teenager and a little girl, does that really a teenager? She might be 13. It runs up towards yelling at. I mean, look, he's towering. Oh, my God, look at her. Oh, go for her. She. Yeah. See that's I think I don't know if that's a woman or her friend, but that girl's got balls. Or ovaries, I like the little skip step, too, like a cornerback when he's running at the guy with the camera and knocks him over.
The man achieve this goal, OK, as much as you don't approve of what he's doing, achieve this goal. No, she's still got the. No, I'm just Amchok he grabbed her arm. Whatever happened to that guy, we got three charges. I don't know, but that promoting my movie right there. Look at that king of Staten Island. What are the odds on demand everywhere? Friday. You know. I would be in the news.
The big old fuckin orange jumpsuit on if that was happening to my daughter. Oh, my God. The real problem, if I caught someone doing like a fucking badger on that fucking gives you your biggest problem would be what do I use?
I always think for half a second, like you would be, you know, the elbow. What do I do, choke him? What do I fucking do? That spinning heel kick I saw you do if you ever hit me with that, I have to learn how to talk again.
Yeah. Yeah. It didn't happen. It didn't happen to your daughter, right? No, you just we just went to a dark fucking place there. I go there all the time though. That's a real problem with you know, I do too. I go there all the time.
I do think getting talking about all these protests, I think something really positive is going to come out of this, because the fact that so many white people are also in getting involved in it and so many cops were vocal saying, you know, they shouldn't do that.
So I think something good is going to come out of this. I just agree more. I really do. I do.
And I hope so, too, because it's it it's been wrong for way too long. And I also hope that.
That a bunch of other groups don't use this as a piggy back thing to then do some other shit which will then escalate will make people who want things to stay the same.
They'll be able to shift focus of like, you know, like how they try to make like the protesters in the riot, like the looters, the same people, right. Where it's just.
Yeah, there's only yeah, you did that. And then at night you did this. No.
Yeah. The way that. So they're going to do it anyways.
I think there's the once the looting died down, you see in peaceful protests that are very encouraging. I think it's great. I really do mean that downtown L.A. one was amazing, 50000 fucking people filled the streets and no crime or very little nothing I heard of. It was just mostly people chanting and holding signs. And I looked promising like they got to.
The thing that disturbs me is this idea that they should defund the police.
You can't get rid of the police, which you need to do is spend more money and train them better and have higher standards and do it the way you do the military, where it's very difficult to get in and you weed people out that are weak, like that guy was a pussy. That guy leaning on that guy's neck like that. A guy is a monster.
There's no way that guy, because he knew he was being filmed to and he just had, you know.
Yeah. I mean, that's like hands in his pockets.
Like, he was just fucking, you know, waiting for an Uber or something like that makes you think, yeah, he's a monster.
Yeah. And that guy had been doing that for, you know, there's new evidence that they work together and they fought they argued about the way that cop was treating the customers. They worked together at security at the same club. And that cop was a fucking asshole to people at the club. And they argued about it. So they had a personal issue. And there's some people that wanted to be elevated to first degree murder because of that, that he did it on purpose, that he knew he knew that guy.
I mean, it's just yeah, they argued when they worked together, apparently one of the guys that worked with them said that George Floyd was always telling the guy he's a fucking asshole the way he treats customers because he would make people and shit that kind of stuff. Pepper spray, folks, he just was the first guy to use violence right away. Yes. Escalate this.
He had a history of complaints back to 2006. My friend, Joe Schilling, the kickboxer I'm talking about again. But his fucking page is the most disturbing page right now because all he's done over the last five, six days is post videos of police brutality. And it's police brutality on black women, white women, white old men, black old men, young guys. It's just just police brutality over and over and over and over again. There's a problem of racism in this country for sure.
There's also a real problem with people that have the kind of power the cops have that are weak people that are that are sociopaths. And that's that's as much of a problem as any of this. Yeah, yeah. You attack the racism onto it and you got a horrible situation. But those people are psychopaths. They're monsters. That guy did this me a long time ago.
Like I've talked to a security guy and he said the best guys are the guys that that they did escalate it. Yeah. He goes, you don't?
Because this guy used to put together crews of guys to I think was like rock concerts and stuff.
And he said you didn't want to get guys that wanted to fight. You didn't want to have those guys because those guys would be a fucking headache. And every night there was going to be something and there was going to be lawsuits.
Like what what you what he was saying you ultimately wanted was nothing to happen. Yeah. So.
I remember because I was joking with them, I remember a long time ago, the Grill 93, this old Dick Doretti room, I remember that joint.
So two guys were about ready to go at it and the club and the bouncer gets them outside. OK, and this guy is trying to say his point of view, and he put his hand on my shoulder, he goes, he goes, he goes, no, all I was trying to do. He barely, barely went like that on his shirt.
And he goes, OK, first of all, don't touch me. That's what the bouncer said.
And just immediately it was here and then it went to here. And then those two guys started yelling at each other and then within I don't know what the fuck. He just twisted the guy up and took them out. And I forget who the fuck I was with. We will fucking die and laugh.
And it just became a catch phrase between us. So he would come out, Hey, Bill, you're working this weekend. First of all, don't touch me.
You just see immediately just escalate it where it just becomes. So what the fuck? And then first of all, don't touch me from 90 percent of guys is immediately going to put you in your ego where it's like, oh, fuck, now. Now he's on top of me and I'm the bitch. I got to I got to at least get a little get at his eyebrow level. I have to come back with something else. It was inevitable.
The second he said that, first of all, don't touch me. I did like the three slide steps down because I learned that young watching fights, you know, you don't want to have a really good seat because it's like a tornado. You don't know where it's going to go and you think you think you're like 20 feet away.
I haven't met me at a Bruins game, the old Boston Garden. And it was like one of those, you know, just everybody smoked. You could smoke in the garden at that point. I just remember like like smoky bars and shit. So we went in there and everybody was hammered. I was hammered drinking like fucking Haffenreffer.
I remember the green death like this is like six percent alcohol. So some like one of those two rows of fans fighting, which is always great because like, the people that are arow up are just throwing down this guy's fuckin clown.
There's always a loafer laying there, right?
Mike Milbury picking it up. So I remember the cops ran up there and I ran up to to watch the fight and they started grabbing guys and coming down the stairs. And it was the Boston guard and there was nowhere to go. And I remember this big cop bounding down the stairs. He literally had a handful of this guy's neck. It was like his whole neck and his jugular.
And this guy was I was I just remember he was going to try to try to push me down the stairs, trying to push me down the stairs. And he came down like and I was trying to get out of the way. And I figure I think the guy who he had grabbed, like his knee fucking hit me in the back. You know, I just I just got caught by the debris of this guy running by.
And that's when I kind of learned, like, you know, how to watch a fight, which you watch a fight and you're looking at your exits because like I said, it's like you don't know where it's going to fucking go. And I have learned that lesson. So when I saw that guy say that, first of all, not touch me, I was just like, OK, sliding over here.
But some other people settle in in front of me. I can do I like doing that.
Yeah, that's the same as a yeah. You want to be above slightly above looking down at all the altercations. Get a better viewpoint there anyway. Yeah, I suck at it. I stopped fighting in, like, junior high. That was it. I just I knew. I mean, I just knew I was like, this is not my thing. I can't slap a punch. I am slow as shit.
I got a big ad I got to target. This is not going to go three rounds. It's just not.
I fought up until like six rounds, sixth grade. I think I probably have my last one. And then all of a sudden kids start to get one hundred twenty and thirty hundred forty pounds and they started being blood and fucking people missing a couple of days of school after a beat down.
I was just like, you know what, I think I'll be the funny guy.
It's weird how things go sideways like that when there's a good feeling in the air, when whenever chaos breaks out like that, there's a real melee.
There's a feeling in the air like it's like you feel it. It's like, oh, this is nuts. Like, this is this is really dangerous. Yeah.
There's a mob mentality feeling that you get. It's real weird when things go crazy.
I remember it took me having to leave Boston for about seven years. I was gone for seven years before I finally walked into a bar and just felt the normal energy. I think the city's changed a lot, but like that sort of that tail end of the the craziness, I walked into a bar and you could just feel it. It's like something's going to get suckered. Yeah, not now. It's about 90 minutes away. You can just feel the level of drunkenness, the energy.
Well, guys would go out looking for fights. Some guys would go out looking for fights. Yeah, I know. There's a guy I used to train with, Mike Blythe. He used to work at the Rathskeller. He was a bouncer. He would go he would wrap his hands. He'd wrap his hands on his way to work. I knew a guy I knew a guy deep is wrestling shit, I knew a guy who was a bouncer and he used to bring a mouthpiece to go to to work, but he used to carry it all the time.
And I remember when he would get when he would get in a fight, he would fuck fucking it was it was something where he would it was a mouth bite down.
It wasn't like what you guys wear, but it was totally psyched the other guy out, like he would come out and he would just put this thing in and the guy be like, this guy brought equipment like fuck is going on here.
And I remember one time he got he got suckered he knew was going to be a fight. Now, for some dumb reason, he sat down on the stairs and the guy was standing above him and one of his friends jumped down and just punched him. And I saw the mouthpiece was like fucking Buster Douglas Tyson. I saw his mouthpiece fly towards us.
And then just I shouldn't tell these stories because I don't know, because I you know, it's my version of what it was a long, long dream and names.
I was like 30 years ago.
And what happened was we were. In an off campus apartment and I simply want to tell a story, I'm going to tell a quick version, tell the whole version. Now, two of my buddies left.
To go upstairs, it was one of those you know, those old fucking Boston, it looks almost like a three family house, but it wasn't one of those big ones. It has all apartments in it. Right.
So they left the party we were on in the first floor and then they went upstairs. And like 20 minutes, they came back when my buddy's shoulders were separated, the other guy, fat lip and flat top to remember this big fucking gash coming right down here and blood coming down his face.
And we were like, what the fuck about what the fuck happened? So we just asked this guy for a drink. The whole party started beating on us.
So this whole mob goes up the stairs to go fight the party, right.
And I'm going upstairs like, what the fuck am I don't my big fucking hit, I'm going to get knocked out here, but I have to go because they're my friends, so we fucking go up there.
And we hear the party, so my buddy, the mouthpiece guy, like the most innocent voice ever, knocks on the door.
He goes, Hey, is there a party going on in there? Right in the fucking door opens up.
And it was like a fucking west Wild West movie, like a saloon fight. Just fucking haymakers. I remember I didn't even want to go in. I was so scared because I was like, oh, my God, this is going to be fucking nuts.
And just the mob just sent me in and it was just like, everybody's just throwing I remember this dude jumping over my back, punching my face.
And there's smoke fuckin clears and it all settles, you know, was like fucking 15 second male and it all fucking settles. And we look at the party and there's like six or seven guys, six or seven girls. And there's like a board game that's tipped over. And we had gone to the wrong party. I swear to God, I know this sounds like a joke.
The real party where they got hit was upstairs and I don't remember what happened, but they they were actually rich kids and they sued my friends for going and whatever the dumb shit they did. Oh, no. We all went in to the wrong party and they were in there having like a couples thing and they were playing like fucking Monopoly or something.
And all of a sudden there was a knock on the door, hey, is there a party? And then everybody just came fucking running.
And I told them, that's what I'm saying. No, I fail. That's why I didn't want to tell, because I felt I felt really like, yeah, I felt bad.
When I was in high school, the first real brawl that I ever saw was when I was like seventeen. I think I was a senior in high school and there was a rich kid that moved into the neighborhood. He wanted to make friends. So he put on this crazy party. He just invited everybody. So kids from all kinds of different high schools were coming. Oh, that's just good. Newton North, Newton South, a bunch of kids from all sorts of other places.
And I happened to be at the right place at the right time. When I saw it pop off, people were already robbing this guy. I saw people taking stuff out of bedrooms, running down the stairs with it. It was real sketchy because it was way too many people for this guy's part.
But then this girl, I still to this day don't remember what she did. She either slapped this guy in the face or she threw a drink in his face. I don't remember. I think she slapped him. But I what I remember is he uncorked a perfect right hand on her. He know how to punch. Like I remember thinking, wow, this guy is trained because he's he snapped it.
Joe, always the commentator. Listen, I've been doing it for a long time, but whatever she did, I'm pretty sure she slapped him.
But he went like this.
I mean, it was a perfect right hand, hit her right in the face. Her head goes back. This guy behind her catches her. She's totally unconscious.
And then. Chaos, chairs flying, bodies piling up, and I'm on the stairs, so I'm watching this through the railings, I see the guy punched the girl. As I'm coming up the stairs, I see it all play out of my holy fuck. And I'm like, I got to get out. Yes. And there was pile. I didn't I didn't hit anybody and nobody hit me.
I fucking it was like a movie like, excuse me, crawling out like a dog does everything. Meanwhile, I was fighting at the time. I was traveling to tournaments all over the country and fighting. So my friends were looking for me. They like, you know, go get go. And there's piles of people brawling and I'm just ducking the piles. And then I ran into my friend Jimmy and I'm like, Where is everybody? And we gather our friends and got in the car and drove off.
We were laughing our asses off, but it was like when we left, the cops are just starting to arrive. There was piles of horseshit beating the shit out of each other on the lawn.
I forget it.
My friend who separated his shoulder in that fight, we popped it back in and he went back up, threw a punch with the same arm and missed it, came out again.
And I remember him flopping on the ground like a fish out of water. And afterwards we said to him, like, Dude, why don't you throw the other hand? And he goes, Because I wanted this hand to get its revenge, I swear.
But you made as part of his body, like a karate movie, like Avenge its Shoulders Death.
And I have to tell you something, when people talk about, you know, you're a funny comedian and blah, blah, the characters that I grew up with and what I loved about what they did and what they said was they weren't trying to be funny.
Like he was dead serious.
It was revenge for this. Yeah.
And then we were driving home hammered and we were three abreast in the fuck in the pickup truck was this guy's dad's truck and he had the flattop. So he's got dried blood on his forehead.
We're just driving home and nobody's saying anything. And the dude in the middle has got these sunglasses on and he's just sitting there like this. And then all of a sudden out of nowhere, he just fucking goes like that, scared the fucking shit out of me.
And I didn't I was like, dude, what the fuck are you doing?
And he goes, Oh, sorry, guys, because I took a little acid. He goes, I was looking at this bug.
He just goes, I thought it was on the windshield.
It goes it turned out it was on the inside of my glasses.
Now, I don't know if that was true, but, dude, there's only like there's no way you could ever reenact how much he flipped it, like how much you would freak out on acid if you thought a bug was over there.
But then your mind told you that it was on the inside of your fucking glasses. And I just remember all three of us just crying, laughing, driving home at this, just just the whole fucking situation.
And that was like that was like every weekend of my life for like probably two and a half, three years, every single fucking weekend.
And we used to going to this there was this club in this bar in Chelsea without water.
Yeah, well, I thought I was such a baby face.
That was the only place where he could serve. Right. So it's a rough place. Yeah.
Yeah, it was. It was. Yeah. And they were like selen fucking blow out of this so they didn't give a fuck.
If you look like you were twelve years old, like I was when I got older, my, my vodka Collins was like the only.
How old were you. I wasn't of age like 19 or 20, probably 20.
And I would go in there and I just remember one time standing outside that bar and there was this fucking do to look like Rob Halford from fucking Judas Priest, just fucking totally whacked out of his fucking mind standing in front of his motorcycle. And he was telling this story about riding his bike and this drug thing.
He got stuck. He just kept saying, I'm going around the apex, going on the apex, I am going on the apex right now hammered and I'm like making fun of the guy in front of them to my body.
I'm looking at my body and I'm so shitfaced I don't go around the apex. I'm going around the apex. And he's hitting me because the guy's staring at me. Oh yeah.
It was it was a and I didn't understand because I never did Coke, so I didn't understand what was going on.
I'm going to leave it at that. I didn't understand what's going on. But all I know is I just seem to be the guy that wanted to go home first.
I'll leave it at that. That was a fucking dangerous place. Boston was dangerous. Now, I this is when I figured out what the fuck was going on was one time I went into the bathroom by myself to take a leak. And it was one of those things you walk in, there was a sink, there was a stand up, and then there was a stall which just had one toilet. And I walked in and there was two fucking legs guys in there.
And I was like, what the fuck are those guys doing it? So my dick's already out. I'm taking a piss. And they open like that then because I didn't have a latch opened up and they had like they were doing blow and I was taking a piss because it was weird.
It was two guys in. Then I kind of glanced over as I'm already pissing. I look over in this guy's all fucking hand and they were werewolf's.
The fuck are you looking at?
I was just like, pee didn't wash my hands after that one. Now, there was a there was a lot I don't know why. Because a lot of like. Like easy targets really got hit and I was beyond an easy target, and somehow I just never. I you know, I never asked. Yeah, I did, I did, because I would have got really I was not as tough as my friends were. My friends were fucking lunatics, you know.
But, you know, my my grade was cool, but like the grade above me, grade A below me, they were like some fucking they were crazy.
Talk to friends that grew up in other places. They didn't have the same amount of fight stories. I think Boston is a particularly feisty place fighting.
I'm saying I don't know what. Yeah, there was something going on. But I mean, I think a lot of those east like New York, in fact, this thing is going out.
Um, a lot of those like I find the people in like New England, Long Island, tri state area, it's all sort of the same savages, savage children of immigrants.
That's what it is.
Yeah, but you go out to the Midwest and that's like German, a lot of Slavic people, Polish people. So I mean, that's I don't know what I think they just had more space out there.
So it wasn't as intense. You weren't so, like, packed in.
You're in a cornfield. There's something about Boston, though, in particular, I think even more so than New York. Boston was just a lot of fights, man.
My boxing coach got his finger bitten off on a fight. He was on PCP and I bit his finger off and he had his toe removed and replaced his finger with a toe.
I tell you this. I remember that that was that was the back then.
So he had it curved permanently so that he could still throw right hooks.
So his his when you would shake his hand, he would always give you one of these.
He was like the guy from Boston to he had this weird looking nose and some guy it bit it off and had it reattached. Guys last years do.
That's why I'm saying why you know, right around sixth grade I was just like, yeah, this is like the common blood sport. Like I think I'm going to try to be funny here.
But yeah, there was a lot of Bhosale also a lot of you know, the sports scene back in Boston is just. Well, I wasn't saying, well, hockey is hockey was big in Boston, and hockey is the only sport that involves actual fights, is the only sport where fighting is a part of the sport.
I'm reading this book right now. I'm reading like I get three sports books I'm reading right now. Right. I read a few lines and then a couple of chapters over here and I'm reading this one called Bartnick gave it to me, called the code, and it breaks down for anybody.
I've never understood why there was fighting, which I never quite understood either. I just knew I liked it. It's it's in how the players have to police the game. I'm not far enough into the book, but it's really eye opening, like what goes on out there. And they have all these enforcers talking about it, like because sometimes you had to fight, sometimes guys would just skate out. They put them out, just the guy being out on the ice.
Sometimes he'd say something like, hey, we don't settle down out here, boy, somebody's going to get hurt. A guy would just say that. And then people like, all right, OK, let's fucking sticks back down. Everybody play Old-Time Time Hockey, whatever the fuck you supposed to do. All star hockey.
And just as far and then as far as like. How there's this whole code of and there's all these there's like, you know, the heavyweights like heavyweight only fucks with a heavyweight unless a middleweight is doing some shit and you gave him a warning and he didn't, then he has to take a fuckin beating. And if he doesn't take the beating and turtle's up, that means one of his fucking teammates is going to get the beating and then he's going to be a fucking asshole in the locker room.
I mean, is it is this whole web of fascinating shit? Because everybody just looks at the sport and they just think, oh, drop clubs, fucking beat the shit out. There's a whole fucking thing that that is going on out there that actually because of that, it keeps the game safer, which I don't understand. I don't understand.
I don't understand it either. But I just think it's fascinating that this is one sport where it's OK to fight like it's a sport you do. That's all they do is fight. That's the whole sport.
That's the sport itself. But there's no fighting in basketball. There's agreed upon fighting in hockey. That doesn't exist in any other sport where everybody backs off. And these guys go on the cross. You can do it in lacrosse. Who the fuck, please?
Professional lacrosse. I don't know, but I wouldn't want to say that I would want to say that to one of them, this full fucking cage, I wouldn't say that. But those guys are savages for no. What about the cross country skiers? And all of a sudden they got a rifle. They're doing like the right gun range. I mean, it's different. That's a stupid fucking. What is that? That's not the decathlon.
You know what that's like? That's like Teddy Smith, Tex Mex food. Right? Asian infused fuckin Americana. That's all it is. It's just people. People are, you know, doing their version of cross-country skiing.
Like that's like. Yeah. I like that cross-country skiing weather and then shoot, that's like the beginning of a lot of James Bond, things seem to be in the snow.
Yeah, well, the whole idea is the elevated heart rate. It's hard to control your shot because I think they're supposed to shoot off handed to you know, they're not supposed to have a rest.
I know. See, I don't know shit about hunting. And that's the thing that I always that I lived for in the hunting shows. What was when the guys after the kill and then they've just been so scared to just say all this fucking shit.
And it's just I get it.
If you're shooting like a lion, it's a nerve wracking thing because you don't want to fuck up. And, you know, it's like people are going to make fun of, you know, because you're going to hurt an animal. You don't want to wound the animal. You want to kill it. You want to kill it cleanly. And you have to keep it together while you're you're pulling the trigger on an animal. You going to end its life.
It's very nerve racking.
Can't you just give him the second one second bullet?
Oh, he's saying if he runs away and the pig suffers, if you make it, you know, you shoot it in the leg or something like that, it's very likely it's going to get away and die slowly, get eaten by coyotes or something. It's really bad.
I got one for you because you got me watching those fucking videos which animals eat. First of all, I love bears, but I can't watch them kill anything because they see the reason.
One day the bear took down the Buffalo Bills.
Why won't they kill? They killed it. Well, they just they kill because they start eating it before it's dead. They just hold it down and start eating.
Yeah, that's what bears do. I got one for you. OK, have you watched the praying mantis videos?
Yes, I have. Do you see the one with the praying mantis eats the lizard. He tries to eat him while he because he fucking alligator armed it.
He was like, I'm going to kill you always. He kind of did the little flick. He gave a little jab and then that thing just gradually was like, oh, what the fuck is you like?
And then I looked at him that he started. Yeah, but it is jaw.
But if he let his hands go, as you guys say, with his tongue. I think he could have pulled that thing in and crushed him. No, no, a praying mantis is so fucking strong. There's so much stronger than you would imagine them being because they have these little stick arms.
Yeah, I watched one eat a hummingbird. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They eat all kinds of shit. They do everything to get a hold of. We're lucky their little pregnancies are amazing. I fucking love those little things. They're crazy.
What they can do to a bird or something much larger than the lizard was the most impressive because the lizard thought it was going to eat him and that thing was totally immobilized.
Yeah, it was like it reminded me of watching the shit you say.
Well, he's passed his guard. Yeah. Now he's going for this.
That thing was just like, oh, it's exactly like that because the clamp is so it's like if somebody got you in a Daas, it's the same thing. If someone gets like like this grip and then cinches it up to a dark joke, you're like trapped in there. That's what it was like. He was there.
It is. This is pure fuck. Look, he thinks he's going to get them and he's like, bitch, you ain't get nothing.
But look how he holds his mouth open. And he's like, oh, dude, I hate I feel so drunk.
But this lizard, he gets away. He gets away for a second. But this is what's a second. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at yeah. He starts his mouth, he just starts know what he's doing. Yeah I know. I love it.
Have you ever seen praying mantis versus a murder hornet. You know, everybody's afraid of murder hornets.
You know, he's like, fuck, what did you do to my face. Oh Jesus. He's like in pain, is shaking it off. And the praying mantis is like, bitch, I'm not done with you yet. Like, he's in agony and he's spazzing around. The praying mantis just locks onto him again and slowly starts pulling him apart. And at the end he's dead. He just starts eating his brain that they just can pull that skin apart and bite right through it.
But it thinks so much bigger than him. It's like you eating a cow that's like you holding a cow down.
I would tell you that he's eating his fucking brain lizards dead as fuck.
Well, that part's not a problem for me right here because now it's dead. Yeah, but it died this way. I know it.
That was the part. I love it. I'm a big fan of the praying mantis. I like the technique.
I'm not going to begrudge, but I just I don't need to.
The video, the grizzly taking down the buffalo only two days ago I was in Yellowstone, linked me to a thirty minute video of it just fucking up.
All sorts of animals are praying mantis. Yeah, I'll put that on. By the way, there's so many fucking people. There it goes.
What's what's you fucking the kinds of things leaf is. It's a leaf bug I think. Oh wow. What a weird looking creature. Praying mantis is pink. He's he's camouflaged himself. Oh, wow, now he's the color, the leaf. This is a good point. Ten million views on this praying mantis video. They're amazing animals, man. What are you going to say? Well, you mad about. I wasn't mad about anything. I was just like, you know, I love bears, right?
Yes. I love when they ride the bikes at the fucking circus. I like the circus.
Oh, this is my thing about that.
What did they have to do to that bear when you see what this thing can do to a bison? What did they do to that bear to get him to get on a fucking bicycle?
Give them food. That's how they train them. So how you did it? I've never got a bear in the back.
You just ECOFIN it's the way you said that because I've seen you've seen the train bears.
They can train those guys who doesn't need any sleep. Like of all the random fucking things. I've seen it.
This is the one with the o with the, with the whip.
The little whip there is just on the bike take freaks out. I don't think he's beaten the bear. I'll tell you right now, that guy is not dressed to get a fuckin to be attacked by a bear. No bull. The Bears got a muzzle on and it's a little less bear.
But bear still fuck you, man. Fuck you.
They got the they got the Freddy Krueger claws on.
He got four of these a vest for now, will you that. Wow.
I mean, could you humiliate a bear even more. He's got to wear that frilly outfit now. You got to. I didn't give him a motorcycle.
Someone who's a big fan of the Bears riding bikes. I was joking me to joke.
I didn't know my man actually watched the whole training video of how like where do you find what part of the internet are you on?
Well, I don't know. I was I was trying to figure out why people look the fuck. That guy's got a giant grizzly bear on the back of his bike playing a horn and it's cats playing a trumpet because it got any volume on this trumpet.
Let me hear this up. Back it up there. A little something like this person that's filming.
This is an idiot. You think it can't break out of that seatbelt and just put them on.
That thing is on a fucking lap belt. Yeah. What is he just imagine this got to be Russia, right? The only way they would allow this is in Russia. Yeah. Yeah. Look at the language in the back of that truck. The fucking traffic. Jesus Christ.
It's fucking girl size of that fucking thing. My God. Just thrown his arms up just thinking about ripping a person apart.
Oh, he is. Yeah. He's thinking like I used to be in the woods fuck and eat whatever I wanted.
The weird thing about bears is if you train them when they're young, they're like almost like dogs. They become your buddy. They're weird people.
Somebody tells that bear that it's riden bitch.
That guy fucking I got riding the motorcycle. This guy, it's going to be in trouble. He's riding on the side cart. Yeah. He's going to be in trouble side.
Whatever happened to those you know, you never see those motorcycle with a sidecar. See the racing. No, the sidecar racing. Car racing. And when they go around a turn, OK, and it's on the side where the guys riding side is lifted up, that guy, he has to stand up.
Do they go like I don't know how many fucking miles an hour he has to stand up and lean over all the way over on this side of the bike because of the weight of the second half. So it doesn't yeah, they can go through the turn at a higher speed. I mean, it's bad enough when you the guy in the car with the map.
You ever seen those two?
Yeah. The one guy's yelling turn and one hundred yards left, left, right, left. Yeah. Those are those rally drivers. Right. I never understood. Do you know what they're doing. The yelling out directions of the road. Right. But they have notebooks that tells them like what was the next turn. Next turn right.
I would guess that the course is so long that they they can't memorize it. Or maybe it's just through a fucking town. Must be. Yeah.
This is a sidecar.
Racing back of the driver, I believe. But they're going fast as fuck, going really fast.
Oh, my God, you're the one who turned me on to those bike races in the Isle of Man. I was supposed to go to that this year.
Oh, you would be side on the side. Oh, no, no, no, no fucking way. No. I plan to befriend some people in town with a balcony. Even then, like, I know some part of the bike could come flying up, but I want to go to that before they outlaw it and get outlawed just because people die every year.
More people have died than years. They've had it. Whoa. And it's still like, look at these motherfuckers.
This is like this is so, so more than one person dies every year. What's basically average? Yeah.
And I think way back in the day where more people died, like the safety equipment is much better because you see there going by brick walls and trees.
And I just know, Jesus Christ, when you say safety equipment like water, what the fuck kind of safety equipment is going to save you?
Yeah, well, they have an air bag, which is a really amazing piece of technology, whereas you fall it can tell when you've let go of the bike and you're falling me instantaneously and it protects your organs.
Yeah, but obviously your brain in the fluid so it doesn't protect that. I tell you that. But the best racing out there, moto GP is the shit.
It's better than this. Um, well, I don't know. I, yeah I would actually because I like the passing.
There's so much passing. What kind of with Formula One where the Mercedes and Ferrari are just so much better than everybody else, it kind of comes down to the two of them. And every year since I've been watching since twenty fifteen.
So I'm new to the sport. Italian. Yes, that's DiVittorio.
So Marc Marquez, I believe I know these guys. Yeah. Wow.
So Mark is the guy in second place is like he's the Jordan of the sports. Right, for real. DiBiase also is actually in third. I don't know who's in first. So those that's a Ducati, a Honda, Ducati and I think a Suzuki.
Do you ride? I did for three months out here, I always wonder why my parents would never let me. So finally out here, I took a motorcycle safety course, I got my license and everything, and then I had a bike for like two months. And it was just it's L.A. is not the place to learn how to ride. And everyone was texting while driving. You want to go to Wyoming?
I think I want to get a dirt bike home.
But this is the type of shit like with this racing, what I like is like a three or four races. Last year on the final lap, there was like two guys that would pass each other like four or five times.
Like that shit right there. So then you try to come on the brakes, the the latest on the brakes, but not overshoot the turn. I mean, there's just so much shit that you sort of learn as you're watching. And I still don't know shit about it, but this guys are fucking incredible.
You begin to go on to a track, learn and run on a track that seems like the safest way to do it. Absolutely.
That is the way to do it. And then where all of that gear and then have fun. You can, like, open up. Dean sent me videotape that it's kind of push that could go 200 miles an hour, but he fucking does it on a highway and it's just like you're going to kill somebody or kill yourself.
It's like take that thing to the track. Yeah. Don't do that.
And God forbid you hit some debris or you know what's going to happen to your car like you.
I just think I think there's a lot of people that buy High-Performance shit that go into a tractor is not available. It doesn't enter their mind like somebody like myself. Like it wasn't until I started watching racing.
I kind of learned a little bit about it, like, oh, there's like a track, you know, out in the Inland Empire, you know, there's there's a day where the general public can come down or whatever you can pay to rent the track. And it's kind of like, you know, a lot of these guys you see driving around in Ferraris, if you have the only time I ever drove a Ferrari was I drove one of a track.
It was fucking unbelievable, like how hard you could stomp on the brakes without the thing locking up and you're trying to impress the guy you're riding with and you think you just want to be like Florida and blah, blah, blah.
And what you really want to be doing is smoothly.
Going around, the smoother you go, both, you know, on the gas and braking, then it becomes like this really like finesse thing where it looks like you just grab it by the fucking throat. And, you know, like I said, I only get it one time, but I immediately learned that, like, made me appreciate what they were doing a lot more. Plus anyone went around five times at my fucking brain was like that for us.
Yeah. Like I almost felt a little bit like I'm not sick. I just felt a little fucked up. Like, I think I'm going to sit down here for a couple of seconds, not say to the guys I'm driving with, hi. Fine, fine. I could do that all day.
Jimmy, pull up a Porsche rally driving the dirt road. Porsche drivers that those are the guys that are reading left, right, left, right, right. They have like a no.
You need a driver next to you that's got a notebook.
That that looks like a lot of fun. Apparently, that's a great way to learn how to really drive to is on the dirt. Same with dirt bikes, because, you know, you slide a lot. So you learn how to counter steer and you learn how to how to handle the weight out back. Hey, guys, it's kicking out. I learned how to counter it.
I have this weird thing where I'm fascinated by machines and I want everything that I see. I want to learn how to drive it and fly it or whatever.
But I'm not a speed guy. Like, I'm just not into like like smart going fast is, I don't know, dangerous, I like Chileno. These guys see the guys there's the guy with the book. This is a regular how fucking. So it's a digital thing telling them what Geary's in and is.
What fascinates me is the trust between those two guys. Oh yeah. Like this guy.
This guy is driving like a fucking lunatic in this guy's looking down at his paper, you know, and your friends that's driving like a lunatic.
You're looking at him going to slow down. Slow down.
This is a road. People and trees and cars and houses on both sides. This guy is flying down this fucking road and he's going sideways all the time.
You see him counter steering all the time.
We see his ass and kick out, like, all the time. Yeah, it's amazing. Oh, my God. And how are these fucking people that are so confident they can stand on the side of the road while these maniacs are fucking?
I used to think racing was just this stupid, mindless thing. And now I think it's one of the coolest sports out there.
Oh, it's a very cool sport. It's I like driving cars just to field the mechanical, just the gears moving and all the things that are happening. I have an old Porsche 93. That's no power steering. It doesn't have a radio, it doesn't have any sensors and it's all air cooled.
So it sounds like it's really mechanical. You ever see I'll show it to you afterwards. That red one. Yeah. Yeah. I wish I had the key with me here. I'd let you drive it. It's fun as fuck. But it's not fast doesn't. It's not. It's the slowest car I have. But it's fun. It's so fun to drive like you feel everything, you feel every bump. There's no nothing between you and the wheels in terms of steering.
There's no power. You're steering the wheel all by your hand. It's really hard to steer. It's not that safe either. Yeah, you can't make quick turns like you've got to really muscle that motherfucker.
I'm like I'm in like these guys. Oh, Jesus Christ. But when I at these fucking crazy assholes standing by with the guy with the propeller hat, he's just like, yeah, I'm a fucking idiot.
I'm enjoying this. So it's a fucking.
Highton This guy catches the ground with two wheels. Oh, my God. Is it land good. It does land good. That's amazing.
But I drive that car to the Comedy Store, it's my if I want to do like if I'm really working on something or I really want to be jazzed up for a set, I'll take that car to the Comedy Store because it's so loud and fucking smoky and everything is like your whole body.
Feel it. You like you're excited when you get there. It's like you're a stimulant.
You know, it's it's it's fun, man.
All of that stuff.
You look at these guys, you should I guess, you know, since the last time I did this show, I got to finally fly in a star, which was what the cops and the news guys fly.
And that was that was the coolest thing about our helicopter, we should tell people is is the coolest thing I've ever flown as far as like. Just the power in here compared to what? You know, I fly these little fuckin eggbeaters or whatever, but like I did until all that bullshit happened, but I got one of the last flights I did, I got to fly a buddy of mine who was training me to get my instrument like I passed the test.
And then after you pass the test, you have two years, so I still have two years, I have to December of next year to pass it, so I got to finish that part of it, you know, did we do a podcast since you took me up?
Have you done one since you took me up? I think I think we did, yeah.
Dodgem. Yeah, that was fun.
We went over downtown L.A. and you realize how many those buildings have helicopter spots on the top. Yeah, that was fun, man.
It's just it's crazy to me that with a helicopter, you could just kind of go wherever you want to go. Yeah. Yes. If I can float around, just go wherever you want to go. Can you stop it?
But but then what it is, is you give up speed. Yeah. For that design you give all kinds of drag. And just the way it's designed for what you want to do with it, you give up speed. So I get envious of planes or even if you get like a Cessna, like they can just fly though.
I mean I think even like the some of the smaller ones can fly faster than the some of the faster you have to have like eight million dollar helicopter, maybe that could fly fast. But anything that I've fucked with, you can't come anywhere near like most of them, 120, 130 knots. And then it depends on headwind.
It's not to a mile an hour. Well, it's it's like it depends on how the wind because you can literally be flying 90 knots and have like a fuckin 15000. Not what I fly, but a significant headwind. This is all shit you have to know on the test. And the second you take the test, you fucking I forget, but you'll actually be going slower.
I've had times like especially out like like Palm Desert and stuff, which is like a Ventry with the way the mountains are and when the fucking the wind comes in, which can be really fucking scary as far as how it throws you around. You're looking down at the highway with what I fly and they're going faster than you and you're just like and then that's when it sucks.
Because also with the helicopter, you the whole you can't just like, take your hands off a shit.
So you have to you're literally it's like your Porsche, like you're, you know, imagining like trying to parallel park that car, even though it's a lighter car. It's a nightmare. I have a sixty eight 4100 when I first had it and that power steering dude and it was just like, I mean I remember when you brought that thing to the house, that thing is that shit.
Yeah. I love that old truck.
That's kind of my thing. I like the trucks and then I like old like.
Not pimp cars like the guy who is a pimp, but he's not a pimp like like, you know what I mean? Like not literally a pimp.
He doesn't have a stable of bitches, but he's crushing life. Like, I like that car. Like like if I was going to get another car, I would get a 67 Cadillac Eldorado.
And it's actually the color that I loved.
It was in that the Tarantino movie. But somebody was selling one. And I swear to God, by the time I saw that YouTube video was already sold, I would have bought that fucking car.
It's the most gangster man's car, like just at the back end in that car. It's perfection. I absolutely love that fucking car.
It's a beautiful car. 67 Elderado. Would you get a convertible right now?
I hate convertibles. Do you really all convertibles?
Yeah, I kind of. I got it. I'm a little sexist with the convertible.
There's one convertible that I like, the one that I have, the 65 Corvette.
Now, that's not that. That's a seventy. No, no, that's that's years that it's the car that the woman playing Margo Wazzani. Margot Robbie.
There it is. There it is. There it is right there. It looks like it's green there, but I think it was blue.
Not that no, not that one over the with the suspenders right to the left of that.
Yeah, down there, that car. Oh, wow, you got to see the back of that car, that that's the 67. 68 or something like that, but the back end look up 67, Cadillac Eldorado rear end. This is what I do while you're learning how to train a fucking bear to ride a bicycle, I with this shit. Oh, click on that first one. Click on the first one. We see a little bit of the side of the car.
I mean, look at that. That's beautiful.
That is beautiful. You need one of those in your life, Bill. I do. I need you driving one of those. This is what I love about my wife. I'll show her that. I got to think about that. She's like, that's a fucking good looking car. And she would be cool if I got something like that, I think, for sure.
Yeah, but look at that.
I'm too fair skinned to drive that you need olive skin no more. You could pull it off. You could pull it off. You need one of them paper boy hat. So now that that thing with that thing would fucking that thing would blend too much in with my beard, could I just look like it'd be the ginger mobile.
Oh would you get there.
There's a year they got there's a there's a blue that they have. Um, it's not that blue.
It's more, it's more of a oh look at that red one. Click on that red one the middle. But look at the front end like when the lights are flipped. I look at that. Thank God. Look how good that looks.
And red that's a fucking beautiful car. Oh, but the lines in that car, that's just like and then that's the kind of come you're not going to smoke a cigar driving down the street right in that pocket, you have to.
Yeah, that's beautiful. I think I'm going to get one. Get one. I know. Where am I going to put it then.
Going to be that guy with the fucking garage. Put it here. You park it here. Vicky. I got plenty, Ray. All right, dude, this is why you're the number one podcast in the world. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to encourage irresponsible behavior.
And if you continue to own your podcasts, you can buy something like that. And if you don't do, your fucking agent will buy that that, uh.
Yeah, I love them. I love Cadillac convertibles, too, though. I don't like muscle car convertibles after a certain like mine, that Corvette that I have out there. You've seen that silver one. Yeah, I love that in a convertible, but that has a aftermarket suspension and aftermarket frames.
I've seen I've seen all those cars. I love the fact that the old ones, those frame it's just too much bounce, too much shake and wiggle. You have to have like an aftermarket chassis. It's far stiffer. They make it so that it's like very, very rigid. It doesn't bounce around nearly as much.
The needs to make like a Swabia is something that you would put in there, because I know in my truck, when I take a turn, I have to grab underneath the seat and hang on. I don't slide into the door.
They can upgrade your coil overs and stuff like that and put a better suspension on handles. I have a nice balance of a little bit of modern on it and still fighting it. So you feel like it still shifts on the column, which I think is bad ass. But then when I get on the highway, I get to stay in the right lane, you know, three on the tree, right?
Yeah. Do you have disc brakes on the swap disc brakes out. I had, uh it, it had, it had just the shoes on it and the drums. The drum brakes. Yeah. And then I converted those Christopher Titus to help me with those. And then what did I do after that. I switched out the radiator because they tended to run hot so they put an aluminum one in and. What else did we do to our tightest power breaks and then power steering Titus's to have us so sweet, I think it was a 55 Chevy that they made for them on the show rides.
It was incredible.
All that Chip Foose car. Yeah, I think Chip Foose made it. Yeah, it was incredible. Just I don't know if he still has that. He might have lost it when he got divorced and all that jazz.
But it was. No, I think he got it back, Daddy.
I think he got it back. But I like it. Christopher Titus's.
I like those those resto mod cars. It's sort of the.
There it is. There it is. Look at that fucking thing pretty well. Him that is a work of art. God, it's it's all very modified to 56 Bel Air Custom four by Chip Foose. Go down Jamie in that one on the left hand right there with Titus right there.
I think that's him. Yeah.
Look at that Foch. I mean that's about as far back.
That is incredible. That car is incredible.
Like when do you like look at that or drive that and not smile. Yeah. That's what I, I, I don't know. I like also I'm into those cab over engine trucks.
I like weird.
It's a cab over engine. What does that look. Those, those are, those were the trucks um forties and fifties.
And the reason why they had that was there was some weird law where they didn't want trucks to get too long. So then that affected did it. So they kept a tractor trailer long and then they put the engine cab over. Engine is what it stands.
Oh. So the engine's below you while you're sitting there. Yeah.
So if you look at some of the ones that people have fixed up, they're fucking wild. That is wild. Look at that thing.
But the thing is, if you do a gig in like Wyoming, you can find an all original one, just like sitting in like junkyards and shit.
Look at that fucking thing. God damn.
That's like I always was like one of those car shows like fast and Loud, the ones I've watched throughout the years. I always wished that somebody would do one of those.
I had that guy on the podcast. He was awesome. Yeah, he brought his own tequila.
Oh, there's another great one from when I was a kid that that yellow one down. That's a Ford.
Yeah, I love those because that was like the fire engines looked like that thing, but it's like what would you do with it. But they drive around to the store.
It's for sale. Gateway classic cars.
I know, but that's that's like the dumb shit. I like those like those kind of the GMC RV from stripes and you got to do it in the Palm Desert.
Fucking the Ron Burgundy Green.
You like very odd cars you have. Well, first I think you're into Mustangs and you're into fucking like the ghettos and the ones you're supposed to like. Yeah.
And then I'll ignore what you just did. And then I mean, look at the you got to get the interior on that fucking thing to Scooby Doo mobile.
That's the mystery mobile. Now they had a van. Hmm.
You OK? Click click on the one you're on the right, the lower left all the way to lower left from the cluster on the right.
Yeah, then it click on that pocket. No, that's not it, that's not that I'm sorry, but twenty one. It's the one. It's the best green one they have.
Just click. Look at that. Oh, and inside it looks like a Ron Burgundy suit. Like it's the green plaid type shit. Get a little humidor in there, drive around, do some looking, I mean, look at that. Come on, man, that's the fucking shit.
So you like those old cars, like autos. And I like all of those.
But like what I don't like about them is the baby boomers like them and they have a zillion dollars. So then all of a sudden it's like, you know, this is a Mustang Shelvey.
We're going to start the bidding at two hundred fifty thousand dollars. It's like, go fuck yourself.
So I like, uh, you know, I like a 65 Ford Galaxy. That's what Frank Murphy, Season four episode family. That's what he drives.
I like station wagons.
Have you ever seen those icon thrift masters? You know what that is? Jonathan Ward, the guy from Icon. He takes an old thrift master and redoes it completely from the bottom up. It's the fuckin most incredible car. It drives like a car.
But look at that. It looks insane. Look at that thing they in they they do it from the bottom up, so it's all like modern brakes, modern suspension, beautiful, and that's what I love.
But then when you go in inside, I want it to look like the year that that truck was. Look at that silver one.
The one that right above your cursor. Yeah, look at that Fokin.
Yeah, I've seen actually I looked at one. I accidentally came upon that one car. That's beautiful. I got another one. It's a weird one.
Look up GMC. I always forgot the name of these things were a parade of progress. That's what it's called.
I figured that's why they would drive these things like elephants into town. They were like a living room giant, like truck RV thing.
The fuck are these things called.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That thing.
Look at that fucking thing. What the fuck. How do you even know about this.
So so the great thing is you open the door and there's like a spiral staircase where you, you go up and in there what they usually had was back in the day because they would open it up on the side. They would, they would drive them in like elephants and make like a semicircle and people would walk in.
And it's that I don't know what I don't know what they have in there. That's it. Yeah, that's an airplane engine or something. Why is there an airplane engine in the middle of that?
I don't know, because somebody other customize the power for the air age. I think they were it was this weird sort of after World War to see there are on the black and white there. They are like driving it and driving them into town.
And look at the steering wheel.
You were right in the center and there was like a little spiral staircase that you walked up because those things go for, like, I forget how much like two, three million bucks or something. Oh, that's nineteen thirty six. It's a parade of progress. Shows you what to get that motherfucker.
Yeah. That's just weird shit. That's so that's what you want, one of those a rolling podcast studio now, that shit is too weird, but I appreciate it. Like when you that old BMW where the front of the car opens up and you got the steering wheel that goes out, like disconnects and goes out with the front of the car, that one.
All right. I just it would help if I knew the names of the cars, the steering wheel disconnects BMW.
I just know Steve Urkel had it and family matters. That's it. Yeah. That's how I look at this.
So how you get in is you, like, open the front. Oh, yeah. Click on the red one.
There it is. Yeah. See, there's a steering wheel. Well, does it disconnect?
There's something weird. It seems like the steering wheel stays but looks like it disconnects.
Well maybe like it, it just it comes back.
You enter through the safe, you get in the front end collision, you've got to kick the windows out, get out of the car.
Yeah. And it's three wheels to this one.
Go yeah. Hirko I forgot about Erkel. He has his came off in the car.
I met him one time. He's like the coolest fucking guy I heard. He's really nice.
I guess it bends over there to see how it's turned down to the side.
Oh it bends and he step over it. Whoa. Yeah I knew there was something. There was something about the steering wheel. Yeah, there's a lot of weird shit out there, but you like weird stuff, you're not necessarily like you.
You, you know, to cool things. No, it's like if you get into music, if you really get into a band, like if you're into AC DC, can you really listen to you shook me all night long again.
OK, you're like now dude you got to listen to what's next to the moon. Get it hot. Some of them you know I like cod. Hmm. I like after a while you just like. All right. You know, like I would say shook me all night long is the Mustang of AC DC songs. And it's just like if you're out here there's a zillion mustangs, but it's like you after a while you want you want to see, you know, it's part of human beings.
You want something a little bit different. It's a little different. It's cooler.
Like I kind of learned from fast and loud that the that the Ford Falcon or something I had the same chassis is the fucking Mustang. But like, it's just a way cooler car because everybody goes for like the Mustang.
You I mean, you want to you want to spend all that money and then some other fucking asshole shows up and he has one too. That does bother me. Bugs me.
It's it's like it's like when you're in a comedy club and then if somebody just touches on the topic, you're like, I can't talk about that. Yes, I get that because then it becomes like, oh, they all do that.
I get that. But there's a reason why everybody loves Mustangs. I love them too. But I have this weird thing where I love the interior up to 66, but I like the back end on sixty with sixty seven.
Sixty eight. Yeah I like that back but I hate. But that's when they get this shit steering wheel like the steering wheel and like in the 60s looks like an old school steering wheel and that one that they haven't 67 or 68 was when they first came out with them. That one starts to look like, oh, cars are going to get ugly.
Now, quickly, the last muscle car that I like that that that I vividly remember, like the last year would probably be the seventy Camaro with, like, that sharp nose, too. I like that. And then there's a few there's a Buick Riviera, the boat tail from the early 70s that I like. I'm really into those big two door sedan, sort of like, you know, he's his own man Riviera type.
Yeah. I love those cars. I fucking love those cars.
And you know, I'm trying to think like there's a few cars in the 80s that really tapers off, though. But I like Ford trucks right up to eighty six. I didn't like when they did the first that first design of the aerodynamic headlights I didn't like. But then there was one of the early 90s, the one OJ had that front end on his Bronco. That one is the shit.
Yeah. I saw one yesterday exactly.
Like O.J. is like totally restored. I like muscle cars up into seventy one. Seventy one. Seems like the last year like seventy one barracuda. Still a really nice car that it gets in the seventy two they start looking sketchy. 73 looks sketchy.
The worst thing was they kept, they kept the model name and then it was just completely bald. Yes. Like when your friend starts going out which is some total cunt and all of a sudden he can't hang out anymore like that was that era. You know the Mustang too. Cobra. Oh yeah. Once they got into the 80s with Mustangs, they were useless.
The late late 70s, early 80s. And once the gas crisis hit, they started making economical mustangs, mustangs that didn't eat so much gas, they were useless.
It's just a it's a hard fall between if you go from sixty seven to seventy seven, it's like, what the fuck happened to you, Dan?
Also the Mustang got all fat like the mock one and everything. It just was like kind of got into its Elvis years, you know.
And the Mustang. I'm resting on my laurels here.
Well there's no pizzazz to them. You know, like late late 70s, 79 Mustang. There's no pizzazz.
This is how bad it went. It became so quickly. If you watch like the remember there, the game show network.
I used to love that because I was fascinated with prices, you know, and like they would be like like they actually tried to pass off a Chevy Vega as a sports car, really.
And these people were losing their minds.
And I remember the Chevy Vega, like a lot of like, you know, guys who knew shit about cars back in the day. They would try to like jam Corvette engines and because they couldn't afford a Corvette. So they but they knew about, you know, how to build cars and stuff.
So they were like to. Yeah, there was always somebody had one of those like an El Camino up on blocks.
I'm going to finish that someday. Yeah. El Camino is a rare breed of person that wants a pickup truck that's fucked a Chevelle.
That's really what it is. It's like a Chevelle front end.
It looks good in the front and then you get to the back like, oh, and then and then the early the eighties that that veiga. Yeah. That was considered sporty. That's back for girls at.
But more girls with butts didn't get put on TV. No. Funny. Yeah. That's another amazing thing.
Like how do we what, what happened when we realized was it sir. Mix a lot like woke us up.
Yeah. He made the ass mainstream.
I'm going to give him credit. Might have been before that. Who else was it. It was all about tits. Yeah, white guys were running shit and it was about tits. I don't know why it was all about titties.
Something happened, something happened and it became ass's became really important because then I did.
Yeah. Because now the fake ass, I think is probably more prevalent than the fake memory by the 90s was like sort of the apex of the fake tity. You watch porn in the tit, almost look like bloodshot. They'd be like veins on the side, like they'd stretch the skin, you see. Oh yeah, that was really bad.
That was a really bad fat bottom girls before that. Yeah. For it.
But I don't think. Yeah. They didn't steal Freddie Mercury prancing around in the video I think for that. Yeah. Good song though. Yeah, what was it like, was like, no, it wasn't, Jennifer, God bless and God bless.
Yes, because I was always an ass man. Always I always just felt like that was the nucleus of a woman. If she had a nice ass, the rest of her body was going to be nice. I give a shit about you, Cortese. Great.
They won't be hanging on your fucking knees when I'm 50, bald, smoking a cigar, doing a podcast. That's weird, though, that like the shape caught on.
It's very strange. Like the what what's what guys are attracted to changed.
Well I think because. Why people were so dominant with fucking Owen in everything that their idea of beauty became the standard and this idea of beauty changed to that's what strange.
It's like I would say, it's somewhere, yo, MTV Raps somewhere around there, just making up somewhere around the I'm going to give Ed lover and the other Dr. Dre credit.
I think it's it happened around the same time girls lost their pubes. Because we were in high school, all everyone had pubes, even in college, everyone had pubes, the apex of pubes was the 70s. You were 80 with you, but you are proud of your pubes in the 70s, 70s. Yeah, dude, I remember like you'd go to the fucking public pool and the chicks had to be there was like shit coming out the sides.
I remember thinking when I was a little kid, again, you can see your pubes.
Yeah, pubes were now Pusa discussed.
It was muffs. If you're a girl and you got a full bush, now you're a dangerous woman.
But then I would say. That that was probably Dr. GAO in the ABA crossing over, made women proud of their muffs.
But there's no research. We just started talking, just making this up.
But there is a clear shift that happened. It's just like what happened? What made that clear shift? Porn caused the people to get rid of the pubes. That's definitely what happened, because porn led the way they trim the pubes first and then everybody trim the pubes. Now, I went too far.
Yeah. Now no one tubes. No. Then it went too far. Yeah, too far. Like a little bush. Yeah.
I would like. Yeah. They should look like a woman. Yeah. Yeah. Not like a cancer patient. Yeah, yeah, so if you bang me, I'm just happy you showed up. God bless you. Take it on for the day.
You can find beauty in everything.
But when I was a kid, I mean, everyone had pubes. It was a thing. It is oh, that's a weird, weird moment in our culture that we all just decided pubes are disgusting. I think more that they need to be maintained. Yes, if there's going to be a camera, an eighth of an inch from it and then gynecological.
So what's this movie did?
I did this movie called The King of Staten Island. Judd Apatow, Pete Davidson, your mustache. Oh, yeah.
Oh, you need one of those in your life. Why don't you grow one of those? I'll keep it. It was really annoying to eat with because club soda, Kenny told me because he was the guy I was saying, am I doing this right here? Because there's a whole way to grow it where it's like he goes, all right. He goes, if you're going to do the cop fireman when he goes, the hair has to go over the over your top lip.
And Kenny had all these great old IDs from when he was a cop.
And what is this movie about? It's, uh, it's sort of autobiographical. Of Pete Davidson's life, where he's playing a kid whose dad is a firefighter who died in a fire. It's not 911 like Pete's real dad, and it's basically his mom has indicated they just sort of froze, which I, you know, I think was something that kind of happened.
In his family and then all of a sudden his mother started dating and it was weird for him. So basically his mother, you know, through whatever circumstances I want to ruin it. I end up meeting her after me and Pete, you know, his character. I don't like his and I'm coming to his house to fuckin yell or whatever. And then I see his his mom played by Marisa Tomei. And then all of a sudden, you know, you know, we click or whatever, we start dating or whatever, and then he fucking hates it and the comedy ensues.
But it's you know, it's got a lot of heart, you know, it's not a hundred percent comedy, but yeah.
Marisa Tomei, Dom Lombardozzi and Steve Buscemi. Now it's streaming everywhere except Netflix. It's it's going to be like it's like that movie, that kid movie trolls, whatever they did is what Universal's doing with this one. It's going to be anywhere where you can stream movies. So it's supposed to be in the movie theater. It was going to be the movie there. And then all of this stuff happened. Yeah. So then people who make movies are deciding we're going to hold on to some of this stuff which we're doing with some movies.
This thing, fortunately, they're going to put out there it is Apple TV, Verizon, YouTube, Google Play, Amazon Prime, basically. Why wouldn't Netflix hop on board with this? Come on, Netflix.
I don't think it's a come on Netflix thing. I think eventually I'll probably end up there. But I think first they do this, this is the way they're going to get their box office. I guess you get it on Microsoft.
How many people are buying movies on Microsoft? You'd be surprised. I would be. That's why I'm asking.
That would be I would think that that's such an easy answer. You'd be surprised. That's like a I was like a political answer. I had no answer for you.
So I've got so many people are buying it on Microsoft.
So do you think this is a good thing that movies are being forced to stream? I kind of like it.
I mean, I don't want movie theaters to go under, but I do like the option of being able to watch a newly released movie at home.
Yeah, I think everything's going to adapt, but I don't think the movie theater is ever going to go away because I. I still enjoy going to the movies.
It's also it's a way to get out of the house. You get a sitter, you reconnect with your wife. That's right. We're friends.
Popcorn is fun. All of a sudden your jokes come back. Right. Having fun.
Any time I hang with my wife, like, if we get like a couple of days away, it the magic instant.
Oh yeah. Instant comes back and then when we get back to the house it's like the grind again and we just start laughing. When we got to remember, we got to remember those two days.
So the key is to have those two day little things enough that you don't forget it so you don't start fucking growing apart.
You guys do date nights. Yeah. Yeah. I don't date nights when my wife when we were doing them, when I was when I was at the store all the time when comedy was up, I was doing it on Saturday night because she didn't have to get up early in the morning for the kids, take the kids to school so she could be rested and refreshed, didn't have to go to school the next day. So I didn't have to get up on Sunday.
So it was a good day. So I just would take Sunday off and stand up. Yeah, we do date nights and this is the thing.
As much as women seem impossible to guys, especially someone like me with all my fucking issues, it's like just something like that does wonders. Yeah. For your your connection. And then we also had like once a week we were doing like before we got pregnant again, we were doing a family dinner and that was the best. And what we were going to was a bunch of like just mom and pop places in like the Valley and out in Pasadena and stuff like that of these places that just, you know, legendary in, you know, in that area.
But they don't have a chain. So it's cool because you feel like you're giving, you know, regular people money and business.
And we would go there and when, like, that was a big thing when I was growing up before you had all these screens and all of this shit going out to dinner with your family. Yeah, I remember being excited. I used to have this chain and Massachusetts computer pot. Yeah. They basically they made muffins somehow. They were a chain that made muffins and then they expanded into having full dinners and everything was made out of wood was very like seventies.
And that was like a big thing. My dad came by. We're going to pick it apart tonight.
And you like sight. And I would always get whatever like cheeseburger and fries and then a blueberry muffin. It's such a weird order. But I was a kid and you wouldn't get fat. It was fucking awesome.
So I want my kids to have a little bit of that that sort of don't. I'm probably romancing it, but I think it's because it was for my childhood. But I think it's an important thing to do shit like that.
Yeah, I'm a big fan of mom and pop restaurants. There's a place we used to go to in Woodland Hills called Brandywine and the owner, Peggy and Chris, the owners there was the owners, one, the female owner was the chef and the male owner was the maitre d. And they were a married couple. They've been together forever.
And they went when we met them, they were probably, I want to say in their 70s, like pretty deep.
And then there was there were already fair, fairly along, pretty far down the road.
And they eventually sold the place, they sold the place when it was sad, you know, and then some new people bought it, but I think it went under now. But I was a great little place, a small place. It didn't see very many.
You know, I get over that sadness. I get old because that shit really used to depress me. What I look at was like, you know, when they opened this restaurant and they were young, there was old people that were upset about whatever they cleared out. And it just happens, you know what I mean?
Like, well, I was just upset that I couldn't see them and I just enjoyed their company. It was it was always, you know, we have been going there for ten years. So it's one of those places.
What I do is I take the humanity out of it. It's the cycle of life. It's just like the praying mantis and the lizard.
Do I tell you this fucking this fucking this whole quarantine thing.
Really? Like, I never realized what a fucking idiot I am.
You're telling me that you were just everything I'm doing.
Why the fuck did I just do this? Why did this need to fucking be on here? You want my job?
No big deal. You're clean freak or something.
Give me I'm I'm cutting up disasters like it's coke and it takes it back to Chelsea going around the eighties.
I have a Coke memory from I never did coke but this lady doing it. I was coming home from Kelly's roast beef. Joe Rogan. Wow.
That's what I'm saying. Smart enough to realize it's not for me worried. What about me?
We were driving. I could snap on weed. I don't need to be doing coke weed in an espresso and you're ready to fight.
We're driving back from Kelly's roast beef. You remember Kelly's roast beef rivière? Great. You know what's so funny?
I don't think I ever went there, really. I drove by it a million times, always going by. KAP's liquor's on the way up to the roast people was great. Remember KAP's liquor's.
Yeah, I do. Yeah. Near the Kowloon. Yeah. He drive up to Krispy beef and clams too and they have clams, those fried clams.
I always that was one of those places I meant to get to. I always meant to get to that. And then that steak house with the giant cactus.
Oh yeah. I've got it right. I'm going to eat this. What the fuck was that? Hilltop Steakhouse. Yes. And I was going to meet there someday. I always ask my I just love the cows, the fake cows out front and we'll live in on the North Shore then. So we would drive my dad into work. We would always go down Route one and we would go by that.
And I would think like, you know, and there was also a hockey rink up there that had a Bruins emblem that they were allowed to use before. Like all the the corporate people really like you can't use our logo. So that Bruins thing and I was convinced that's where the Bruins practiced.
I went to Hilltop Steakhouse once and it was for some reason I have it connected in my mind with a boxing match that was on TV because I was so bummed out.
Sugar Ray Leonard fought Terry Norris and that I was that name, I should say Terry Norris is a monster and will show so much Sugar Ray when he was in his prime, but he got older and he fought Terry Norris when Terry Norris was a fucking just a demon. He was so good. And Sugar Ray just had no business fighting. And I remember eating food, just being bummed out, just just thinking, fuck, because this just what happens to all these guys I like.
They all decide. They all decide. One more fight. One more fight. Let me let me do it. And he came back and beat a severe find that. Can you imagine if your body broke down in around 35, you couldn't do stand up anymore. You definitely try to go for one more set.
Yeah, but it's different. It's different. It is different. The same. You're right, Terry. Terry Norris, totally different, was in his prime and he was just so fast and elite and sugar was just I want to say he was like thirty eight or something like that. I don't know how old he was, but it was, it was hard to watch. From Madison Square Garden in New York City, something when I think of Sugar Ray Leonard, I don't think I mean, what about that division he was in?
Oh my God. Hurns Duran and Leonard.
Well, he fought Haggler long, you know, I mean, he came back and fought Haggler and then Haggler retired after that one loss, he just like I'm good, but it was just watching Terry Norris.
I went to Italy and started making movies. Yeah, hilarious movies. I had a buddy of mine that is convinced that fight was fixed, I think, by the Italian mob. And then his payoff was they gave him a movie career in Italy.
It might be true. Your buddy might be right. There's something about it that I've watched them like, man, almost looks like he taking something off of his punches. And also I just don't see one doing that. I don't think I don't see him doing that. That's why. But I also didn't see him retire.
And I think he might have gotten fucked on a decision on that fight, because if I could, I really felt I was such a Hearn's I mean, Haggler fan. And I also what about what about Tommy Hearns being as tall as he was but could make that weight. Mm hmm.
When he fought Sugar Ray, I think he was only 22 and he was 147. Sugar Ray stopped him after Angelo Dundee gave him that that speech in the corner. You're blowing it, kid. You remember that? I'll never forget that.
You know, the one that I remember, one of the greatest ones I saw Kornegay was that Karalis Castillo fight.
And when he gets in the corner and he been knocked down.
For like I don't know, how many times kept spitting out his mouthpiece and they took away a point or something, he gets he goes into his corner and I remember is his manager or whatever we call a guy is in the corner. He goes training. He goes, you better fucking get inside. Now, I don't even know what that means. I forget he said that. And then this fucking Charlie Murphy, rest his soul, told me about that fight.
He's like, you got to see this fight.
He goes, I woke up my whole family. It was a wild ass fire. And he actually, Charlie, he was such a funny guy. He hurt his foot. That's how much he was into it. Like when he came back after getting knocked down and then knocked out the other guy.
I always forget Krauze Castillo was a Karalis is the guy I won that fight. Right?
Well, they fought more than once, I believe. Diego Karalis.
Yeah, he's the guy. And he died on a motorcycle. Exactly what I was going to say. Yeah. Terrible. That's an underrated fight. When I backed his back when I had time I used to watch this shit. Was Evander Holyfield versus Michael Doakes.
Oh, you remember that fight. That was a great a great fight. Holyfield had so many great fights. What if he was that guy was a warrior is.
Yeah. Coming back. Well, do you know that I want to see that he's training Mike Mike Tyson's training. They're both training. In their 50s, yeah, it is Michael Dokes.
Yeah, it was I mean, it's just amazing how much longevity Holyfield had and Holyfield started as a cruiserweight, I remember when he beat Dwight Muhammad Kawi for the cruiserweight title and then gained all this weight to go up even when he was a cruiserweight in the 80s, when I was lifting and I was young and all that shit, I was like, that's that's the body I want.
That's what I'm going for, cause I couldn't get it. But I was like, that's the shape.
I was what I look if I fucking looked like that. Oh, you look amazing going on stage, telling jokes. Just wear something that covers it up a little bit.
What a poncho. Like going out with a big square like Josey Wales.
Yeah. How Poncho.
Yeah, you flip it over and you got a Mickey to take it out. Well yeah. Oh my God. This is round two.
Look at the people standing up. I mean this shit was just did just so much. Stokes Oh right hand. That's it. They stop it.
That was steel which is steel is the same guy that stopped Julio Cesar Chavez and Meldrick Taylor with like two seconds left to go in the final round.
When Meldrick Taylor was up on the fight and Julio Cesar Chavez dropped him Meldrew Taylor got up and Richard C was like, are you are you ready to go on?
He has more muscle in his trapezes, whatever the fuck that's called. And I trap's I have in my whole fucking body, he's he's a specimen.
Oh, if it was a specimen. What's interesting about Holyfield, too, he was like the first guy that ever really put weight on successfully, like he had this this crazy strength conditioning program that he did to go up to heavyweight where, you know, he was fairly thin when he was a cruiserweight and started lifting weights and lifting weights.
Back then, most people thought lifting weights was terrible for you.
There was a lot that was a big thing in basketball. Don't lift weights. It's going to fuck up your shot. They thought you were going to, like, send the ball, pass the.
Well, you know what it is? It's from being stiff and sore when you're stiff. And so it does fuck you up. It fucks you up with boxing, it fucks you up everything. But it's a matter of doing it correctly so that your your body recovers enough so that when you actually fight, you're not stiff and saw, but you have all that extra mile. So this is great by the way, cause fights cigar, cigar praying mantis men stuff.
Love it. Right. Yeah. Yeah.
That, that era of boxing man those are the golden era when we were kids. My God. You know, ABC Wide World of Sports. You get up and watch the fights. Yeah.
I remember watching the Leon Spinks, Muhammad Ali, they showed it on TV. Must have been a replay. I remember watching that and just kept thinking Muhammad Ali was going to come back. It was the one that he lost. Yeah. Against Leon Spinks. I also remember the the the Mike Tyson Michael Spinks fight. And I remember the pizza didn't even get there.
And I remember my buddy was all excited. Dude, my dad ordered the fight and they had just finished their basement. And we went downstairs and we were sitting there to watch it. It was over in like ninety seconds. And I just remember my buddy got off the couch and he was on all fours like an inch from the TV, just screaming, what the fuck, what the fuck?
Because we didn't understand there wasn't the education, mainstream education of what a body blow did to you. So unless somebody got hit in the head in that mouthpiece went flying, we didn't understand because that last shot was a hook to the body. And you didn't understand, like literally their internal organs just slammed to the other side of their ribcage. You didn't understand that that was happening. Here it is.
Here's the whole fight. Yeah, this was an amazing, amazing moment because Spinks was another guy who went up from light heavyweight beat Larry Holmes and then became the heavyweight champion, then his fight and Tyson.
But, yeah, we were jinxed because we just wanted it. We won four times, but we wanted to see a fight.
Spinks had a good right hand, but he just you could see he's he's paralyzed here. I mean, he's fighting a guy is just so much bigger than him and he's getting smashed. Mike Tyson was just such a force of nature at the time. Yeah. He's just really had no business fighting legitimate heavyweights. He fought Larry Holmes and Larry was past his prime and, you know, beat Larry by decision.
But I thought he beat him bad. I felt like that was like, oh, no, you don't take enough. What was the time Holmes fought, Ali? Yes. And he was looking over at the ref, like, what the fuck are you going to stop?
That was bad people to the to the end of Larry Holmes career. Didn't appreciate him because that they they loved Ali so much.
So he hurt him with this right hand here and then he's swarming on them. I remember seeing this video of Muhammad Ali promoting here it is right here. Boom, body shot. He goes down. Spinks gets up, referee gives him an eight count, he says, I'm fine, oh, I thought he went down on that. That was a body shot.
And then he gets hit with a right hand right here. Tyson steps bang. There it is. Oh, that was. Oh, I see.
I forgot about that. Yeah. He's just like, fuck this man, body's like, fuck this, do you realize the fucking balls it takes to fucking walk or you do. You did it. Jesus Christ.
I mean, those guys, you walk into an arena shirtless, scary. That's fucking amazing.
What's really scary is it's like you think about it for weeks and weeks up to it, and obviously I never did it at this level, but at that level, when the whole world is watching and you know that this is just an enormous moment and you just got waylaid by one of the greatest heavyweights of all time and flattened.
Those are crazy, I was watching. He was so fun to watch because he enjoyed so many people because he was so cocky and he is such a weird star. Is that that Prince not see?
Oh, my God. Is that guy fun to watch? Oh, he was amazing. You know, Tyson had syphilis or something like that in that fight.
No, that was Buster Douglas. Did he get the clap or something? I think it was this right.
There was a funny one. Yeah.
When he thought Buster Douglas, he just didn't train very hard for it just really was just dominating everybody and just took it for granted. And he still almost one still drop buster. And to this day, like if you watch that fight when Buster's down, it's more than 10 seconds.
Yeah, but the thing was he didn't go to the corner fast enough, I thought, and he picked up the count. I thought he would have got up. I don't know.
I remember where I was when I watched that. I remember all of that shit. I was at my buddy Mitchell's house.
We were upstairs on his fucking square TV. And I was like, you know, because you cheer for the underdog. And he was all bummed out cause I want to see Mike lose. And I was just like, I didn't realize what. I had lost as a sports fan, because you're losing greatness, not like it's not great, but you know what I mean. You wanted to see that undefeated, right? Keep going thing.
And then afterwards, you know, it's a weird thing, but the Buster Douglas in that fight, you know, the whole story behind his mom died. Yeah. And he was devastated. And so he was always a really, really talented guy that just didn't work hard enough. But that fight, he trained like a motherfucker.
He trained like a real champion because he didn't come out, didn't want to face, didn't want to think about it.
He probably just focused on goals that maybe also he was like doing it. He was dedicating it to his mom.
But he once again, as a human element, just remove you just the void.
And I am a I am. I am. Is this what you're finding out from this, the pandemic being locked up and having too much alone time? I understand.
I understand my anger now. I don't know how to fix it, but I understand.
What is it? What is your anger? It's feeling like I'm not going to be heard and things are going to go in a way I don't want them to be. So the second is there's a suggestion different than mine. I catastrophizing in my head. And I don't be like, well, you're not actually, I can't do that because I'm doing Joe's podcast. Maybe I could do that tomorrow. I just hear the information and feel like I have no power.
And then I go, oh, what the fuck?
My wife like I just asked a question and then I am so fucking up here I have to like it takes it only takes me like two minutes and then I come in my head to the side of her head and I just go, I'm sorry to tell you, you married a fuck.
You blew it. You're not you're not good at reading people. You have no one to blame but yourself.
Like then I apologize like an asshole. Now am I think to there's another thing too, is I also in this have never loved my wife more, you know, gave me a son.
And it's just like it's one of those things where, you know, you just said, that's a beautiful really going like I am like I am way, way more of a fucking asshole than I thought I was. I knew I was, but I didn't think I was that bad.
So you realize you've got issues, but you don't know how to solve them. That's what it is. I realized that I had issues that I thought I was past. That's what fucked me up. But you feel like like, all right, so I've taken care of that.
Now I can focus on this. And it's like now I know this is still in this pile. You thought it was six feet high. It's 12 feet high. And it was.
That was demoralizing. So don't you think no one is part of the way to fix it, though? Yeah, but then you have to go through the torture of it, of because it's not like it's not like, you know, like the Dr. Phil episode.
You need to understand your fucking yellow people, whatever the fuck are you. Oh, OK. Thanks, Phil.. And you're just going to go do that.
It's it's like and then you have to do the fuckin work and it's so easy to just go back into your your it's a deep groove worn into your personality and you're trying to get out of the rut and is easy to go back into it and just be on autopilot.
That's why people like the pilot. That's why people like psychedelics, because it separates you so much from who you are. You get a chance to look at yourself. It's one of the things that comes out of it. I should have done that when I was younger. I can't do it now, like right now. On this podcast, I look at the I don't think they're a little bit of a pro. I'm supposed to be promoting one of these feature films.
We've already done it. We've promoted it looks great. I'm excited and excited to see what the mustache. Oh, so you say I'm done in the neck now do this. You could do a little drugs. So little mushroom's, be good for you. Listen, Joe, I know you're an influencer, but you aren't going to win on the influencer. If it's a dirty word to me, I will be kids get out of the house and they're fucking great people.
Hopefully, if I did the job, then, then.
So when they're 18, OK, we'll go when they're 18. And I take you somewhere, right? When I'm 70 and you're 71.
Yeah, well, get blasted together on mushrooms. Yeah. I'll finally get that part of the Pacific Northwest which will be burnt to the ground once they the looters take over those six blocks or eventually and expand expanded 12. There'll be no more Seattle. The trees will regrow.
Yeah. I don't see how you ever play the more theater. I love it there. It's great. I love seeing I love Seattle. I'm a big fan.
I used to love that Bellvue place. The the pool hall. That was a it was a pool hall connected to a comedy club. Remember that. You ever do that.
But I did that one went under, went under real recently.
It was fucking great trying to remember the name of the place but it was in Bellevue and I first went there with Calland Kalinda's one and told me about I was like, this is this is my dream.
A pool hall connected to a comedy club. This is the greatest thing I've ever heard of. I love that guy.
He's one of the fastest minds. That's unbelievable how fucking funny that guy is.
It's very funny, dude. There it is. The parlor. Yeah. Permanently closed.
Talented guy, too. I saw him one time with a bow and arrow. Just talk and all of this shit in somebody's head. He had a bullseye and then he did the next one. He split his fucking arrow talking shit.
The whole thing down. Yes. Did you see this at this guy's house that had one of those things that was dead?
Look, is a terrible archer is no jack shit about it. Listen, I know what I saw. We used dreaming. No, I saw this.
He talks shit the whole time and he said it it was fucking great. It was like I was watching a movie. I bought him a bow.
I said, I gotta tell you something.
I think you need to move him a little bit higher up in your brain is one of my best friends.
That's how you talk about a friend. I love them, but I bought them a bow, a bottle, my Hoyt carbine spider, really nice bow, never used it once.
We got to use that bow.
I got to use a bow one day, like get a feel for by standing on the string doing curls, knowing him.
Maybe he boxes, likes to go to the boxing gym, likes to mix it up. He goes in there, it's bars like Brian you're going to get brain damage. You're 53 years old. You can't be getting punched in the face. Yeah, but he's like a Jason Statham 53, because you got to you have to know that dude now that where these old fucks, OK, we're hanging in there because you see people I see at this point, I remember that's when I first felt old was when I would meet people after shows.
I'd be like, oh, this guy's got at least five years on me. And I find out they were five years younger than me. Like, I'll be like thirty three. I would look at your fucking 28 and he was like a real twenty eight married three kids and I saw what that look like, you know.
You know, you know, this fucking business is business, you get shit on steak, like I love the harassing to a point on ah, on social media harassing the you know, hey, you know, hey, Billy, booze face, say, Billy fat tits and all that shit like that motivates me like I look.
You got to honestly look at yourself like they're right. Yeah.
They're hang a little bit. I mean I need to do some push ups.
They will fucking bully you into getting and it's all how you process the information. Now, yeah, there's something to that, yeah, like you talking about fat shaming, I'm telling you that if I wasn't in this business, I would be a fat fuck. I get those blonde Oreo cookies, root beer floats. I would be fucking hammer in that shit.
So be in the business and then here. Yeah, because then on Twitter I would just have the fucking the pussy picture. Just the egg one where nobody knows who you are.
And I could be a fat fuck being like, you know, just giving people shit. And Goldfeder since the last movie I would have a blast doing that.
How's your shoulder. It's great, it's better because I've been I finally there was another thing is this like the shoulder thing also caused me that I had to slow down and like the patients you need to rehab.
It seems like you're sitting there with like a first.
It's just the weight of your arm doing the crawls up the wall.
Then you lay on your side and it's just the way to your arm and then a tuna can. Then I went into a can of clams and now I'm up to the pink weight, the one pounder, and then this is the big this is the big tipping point.
When you go from one pound to two pound is ridiculous. Is that sound. You're increasing the weight load by 100 percent and that's when you get hurt because you want to get like I used to be able to do fifteen pound, you know, 20 pound 25.
Those those sets you used to do. Yeah. And now I you know, when it's really hurting, I reach for some salt.
I'm like it resets it. So what I do is I just get slowly worked my way up to three sets of 20 and then when I go to two pounds, when I do it, I'll just do three sets of three some way beneath the weight load that I did.
And then you gradually it requires all of this patience that I don't fucking have.
What is wrong with it? This one I had a bursitis.
This one I actually I fucked up something else and this one is totally fine now, but I'm not using it as much because I'm not using this one. So I do the rehab on both sides just to keep them equal.
I've been doing a lot of coursework, a lot of back shit that I never did, which is how my shoulder got fucked up because I just did the eighty six. This everything up here. What I could see I worked on. So all back here was like, we can't fucking hold this shit. Everything my my shoulders bowled and one was higher than the other and it eventually it just got pinched. Yeah. Yeah I see. Do these fucking things.
I know that's for this but I didn't do any TV shows to for the middle of my back or lower back all of this. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking.
You use bands. Yeah. Bands are good. Will not get hurt. I'm a big fan. There's a product called Crossover Symmetry. It's a series of different weight. I'll show it to you out here. I have it attached to one of the bars, one of the cages. And these these bands, they come in fifteen pounds. Twenty five pounds, forty pounds, a bunch of different weights. It take these things and I do a whole series of exercises with my shoulders.
It's great. It keeps everything strong. And you're not really you're not pushed once. Once I get weights. Yeah.
I'd like to look at that. I'm not going to do it but once I get to a certain level of strength. But the thing is, you can do it.
It's not going to hurt you because you're not you just doing it lightly like a lawsuit.
Come in here, everybody. Look, this is oh, I just thought of something.
I just forgot something that I learned about myself with that shit. Oh, come to me. As far as like with rehabilitation, but it also came into my personality, just something that I kind of.
Oh, this is what I learned about myself and why I didn't miss stand up, because it was freaking me out, because what I experienced as a kid straight across the board.
Made me go to this mental place of like, I don't care. Fuck it, I don't care. I don't need it, I don't give a shit, and that caused that cause that's what caused everything to get walled off and that actually feeds into rehabbing injuries because of a big moment for me where I got this fucking console thing that I'm trying to put in my podcast studio and I supposed to deliver it and bring it in there. Right. So the day they were going to deliver it, my wife went into labor.
So I went to the hospital and then they showed up and I didn't want them going out my garage. I got all my memorabilia and shit. I just didn't want people in there unless I was there. So I said, I just have to drop it off. I thought I was going to be a box and it was already assembled and it was fucking big. Right. And it was also the wait load of it. I was just I was like, oh, fuck it.
If I keep my arms in like this, it's mostly biceps. And I was going to do this and I was going to do this stupid German. Irish. Phuket and what it was going to do was going to set me back. Once again, like I had a big setback in February, I had an acting gig and they said, hey, it was just a stupid little action thing, a wall, put your hands on it.
Hop over. Can you do that? Like I my shoulder feels pretty good in the second went like that, it felt like lightning go down my shoulder and I was like, oh fuck. Right back to the fucking tuna canning and all that shit. So I actually.
I had a friend come over, we were going to do it. I said, you know, what do I owe I owe you a fuckin dinner or something. I'm not doing this. And I called up this guy that I knew was a construction company. I know you got a couple of strong young guys that can just move this thing in there.
And I just had them do it and like and that's like something that I'm pushing through where it helps me as a comic and also helps me deal with highly emotional shit because I can just shut shit off and just do what I have to do, which works like back in the day when you're going to do Letterman, which was fucking terrifying.
It's freezing cold and you just have to be like, fuck this just it's just fucking people. This is just a different shiny floor that's freaking me out. And as an icon sitting at that desk, I had the tools to shut that off, which is great for that moment, but it's terrible for the rest of your fucking life. Like this shit.
That's like I just realized it's just shit in me that I needed, that I have not dealt with death of friends. All of that shit is just sitting in here. And I think that's also. Like when? People then go like, I, can you do this, I can only like like it's not all just that I'm not going to get what I want. A lot of that is like you got all of this shit that you're sitting on.
So you're sitting on all that and you haven't addressed it. So then it just it the only way for the steam to come out is like for you to snap or whatever. So which is really not fair to the people around you, to be honest with yourself.
I don't know if you go to therapy.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
What about meditating. You meditate. Yeah.
But I find the guy's voice is fucking annoying. You don't have to shut up.
Every time I'm getting there he starts fucking talking again and then he's using this really soothing, caring voice. That makes me face all of that shit that I didn't get growing up, which makes me angry at this person that's trying to help me.
Wow. Yeah. Quarantining is not a bad thing, for what it's worth, you're always fun to hang around with. I always enjoy your company. I don't have any issues with any.
You're crazy because I have a crushing need to be liked. So I toned down my cantinas when I'm around you.
Oh, listen, my wife knows me.
Hang out with her one time. She'll tell you some fucking stories, I'm sure.
Yeah, well the other I get. I like that helps you. Yeah. You know the deal. You don't know any better. You live with them. All right. You know. I will not accept your compliments. That's another part of my personality. Who's the guy that's running the meditation now that's annoying you?
Do you know who's abusing. I don't to put the guy on blast, but yeah, I do.
OK, let me know when he's great. He's great. Great. What he's doing, he's trying to help people understand. Yeah. You should do it without an app. Do I have a store? I can't say I can't say what I said nowadays. I can't say what I said. But I'm I was playing pickup hockey and I suck. Right. But I'm having a good time out there. I'm just, you know, out there trying to get a sweater on.
Right. And, you know, I'm having my head down and we're play no contact, and because I it was really my fault I had my head down, this guy fucking knocked me down on the other team. And it goes, you are right. When I said to that guy I still fucking regret.
I was so mad at him that he was carrying in that moment.
And that's one of those things. It was like, what is wrong with me? Wow. So you're really trying to come to grips with all this shit right now? Yeah, because I don't want to pass this shit on to my kids.
That's what happens when people are like. If people say my kids are not like me, like I'm like, good, that's weird, but I do think that a lot if they're like, oh yeah, he's you know, she's like, you know, happy go.
Like my great like I forget what somebody said one time. About my daughter, because she's like Jesus, Angel, right, and they made some sort of, you know, comic made the comment, you know, thinking it was going to hurt me. And I was like, dude, that's fuckin music to my ears. I don't want to I don't want to be like me.
Don't. Do you think they were trying to hurt you when they said it? No, it was one of those cosmic things where they don't have kids. So it was the guy and they don't know what to say. So then they got to, like, make a fucking joke. Like, I had a buddy of mine, a comedian on my birthday.
He goes, hey, happy destroying your Mother's Uterus Day.
And I just remember laughing, going like, oh, this guy has to do a little more work than I have to. Or I can say I can say I know, but I mean, I know what it is.
It was a Boston comic and he couldn't just say happy birthday because that would be gay.
So he has to go to so overcorrect that he has to go to that level. It's so fucking stupid. It's probably why guys die before women.
You hang on to shit and there's all that stuff, you know.
Can't say enjoy sunset, Joe, you can't do it. Why can't you shut up? But I know why. I know you do. I know. But the thing about you is you can also beat the shit out of most people in a fucking room. So you got that. So people can be like, oh, wow, you know, they actually want to hear that from you.
When they see you spinning heel kick, they want to know that you enjoy a sunset because like, I don't want if this guy is as angry as I am and can do all of that shit, what are my odds of getting out of here?
So you want to see that out of a guy like you, the guy like you don't want to see it, don't want to see you enjoying the sunset? I don't read.
I don't I don't know what it is. I am I am too in here to understand me.
This is interesting to have a very they have a very weird thing. I have an alley of my personality that works that I somehow turned into a living.
Yeah, but the rest of it looks like Fred Sanford's yard old radiator's and bed frames and shit.
It's a fucking mess. It's interesting because I've never seen you this introspective. Were you really trying to work it out? Really thinking about it more than I've ever seen. You think about it before. You've always joked around about it, you know, and all the years I've known you, it's always been a part of the things you talk about.
But it seems much more at the forefront of your consciousness right now.
It's something you really need to work on. You really realize like this is I got to fix this.
Yeah, I think it started last year doing the movie. Oh, it brings back the movie.
It was there was a bunch of shit that I had to play that I never had to play before. You want me to be allowed fucking asshole, I can do that.
But then all of a sudden, like, I had a lot of anxiety about a lot of the stuff, like my character had two kids and like the first time I meet the kids, it's classic acting where it's just like you just show up.
I remember I took this acting class, this guy, Brendan Hughes, he was great. He was saying like he was talking about what it's like to go on a movie set. It's like how you have to have access to all these emotions because you're showing up and it's just like, OK, you're this guy and this is your dad and your mother just died and action. And it's just like what?
Because that's the way it goes. It just goes real quick. So, yeah.
So I have to play like this. So I got two kids here. So the first day I met them, we had to do the family photo. They want to have one of those things in the background for a scene.
So you have to and I'm sitting there going like, fuck, you know, I got to I got to act like I love these kids the way I love my kids like.
And that's was really confronting for me as far as how I'm wired, where, fuck you, I don't need anybody.
So I had like a fucking panic attack before, like, really even that thing, like just being like just a comic thing where you just like, dude, I just I stand on stage, I do shit jokes for fucking hour.
You give the check and then I fucking leave. I smoke cigarettes, fucking leave me alone. Right.
And this thing here, it's like now you're not on a schedule. Somebody tells you where you have to be.
So like, you know, I was like a cat on a leash all of a sudden, like I have to be all these places. I was freaking out about that.
And then the I had to do the picture with the kids. So what I did was I just I got myself into a really silly mood. And I was deliberately I was joking with all the other actors. I was making fun of myself. I was joking with anybody that anything to do with the movie. I got this really silly, stupid move and I just to get myself in that headspace. And then I met them. I started joking around about what I look like and this is what your dad look like.
And then they started laughing. So when they took the picture, we were actually laughing about a joke I was making about myself. And then I looked at the pictures and they looked they looked real. They looked like I love these kids. So I got over that hurdle. So like throughout the shoot, you know, obviously the shit yelling at Pete, it's like I can fucking do that all day, but all that other stuff and it's like, OK.
And, you know, Jeb would be like, OK. And then you meet Margie and you're smitten and it's like smitten.
I you know, I've never had I've been smitten in life, but I've never, you know, as a comedian, I don't think you ever really go on stage. You know, if you were to do something where you were smitten, you're you're making fun of that emotion in the stupid things that you do and say now we need you to play this real like you really have just.
And I'm like, oh, so I'm like Indore. He goes, no, you're love struck like a lightning bolt.
And I'm just like, oh, jeez, I don't know how to fucking do this. And, you know, fucking I'm kind of in my head. In my head.
This person's won an Oscar and I think I suck, you know, just going through all of that shit. So it took me probably two weeks on the film. I was two weeks in. They had shot enough of my shit where I was like, all right, they're not going to fire me. I can kind of relax a little. And then after that, I had I had a I did. I had a great. I had a fucking great time.
Best time I've had on any acting gigs, and I've had a lot of fun throughout the year, so I think that's what sort of started it. And I was kind of like. You know, trying to communicate it to my wife and she doesn't know what I'm talking about. She's like you doing a movie, this is fucking great. And she has access, you know, opposites attract.
So she has access to all of that shit. She's actually, you know, a fucking way better actor than I am and stuff. So I she helps me out a lot.
So after those two weeks, I was able to chill and then I had a great time and I got over a bunch of hurdles and I was kind of like, oh, this is like growing as a comic where it's like, OK, I know how to do this is a comic. What if I try to act something out? Oh, that's not my safe space. Now I start feeling like an open mic again. They're not going to like me.
I'm like stuck in spots at the store, go home, leave home with my parents.
I start doing that shit. Yeah. The whole show going on up here. Joan, did you watch it after it was done?
Yeah, I watched the initial cut of it. And then I saw the final version of it and everything, and you enjoy it. It's one of those things you just to you, you know, everything that was there and wasn't there and like and like especially with jokes.
Like there was there was some. You know, there's always going to be stuff that you oh, God, I wish why did they cut their which they put this in? But like, as far as like the movie itself, I loved it. How it worked and the way they put it together. And there's the opening scene that's in the movie initially was in the middle of the movie. And somebody just I don't know who came up with the brilliant idea to put that scene first.
And it totally changed the tone of the movie.
And then that's when it like took off because I saw a real raw cut and it was like, this is a bunch of funny shit. And like everybody I've ever talked to edits a movie. Like when they watched their first cut in the movie, they're like, oh, my God, I'm never going to I'm never going to work in this business again. I just wasted my fucking you know, I was actually talking to one of the actors who had directed one of my favorite movies, Tres Loung.
Steve Buscemi made that movie and he told this whole was fucking hilarious story about that.
You know, when he the first cut that he watched of it, like he just like went home like a zombie, you know, like, oh, my God. Like, how am I going to make and it's such a great movie by the time he was done editing it, but his first like, look at it.
So that helped me out. A guy as good as him having that type of thought.
I was just like, oh jeez, I think that shit all the time. You know, this guy is an icon if he thinks that and this is normal. So, like, I guess I'm kind of normal to think this shit. So, yeah. So I think that started it and then I just kind of would have just been happy to get through the movie and then that would have been it.
And then I had to be quarantined and we all got so myself typical self-involved me everybody's pointing.
And then that just became me sitting around and I was like, I'm not watching TV because this is just going to fucking make me feel like claustrophobic watching all this news and shit, trying to be informed. So I kind of went away from that.
And then I was just in the house with me, just sitting there and everybody was asleep as fuck and just thinking, thinking, but not in a bad way.
I don't think. I don't know.
Well, it doesn't seem like it's a bad way. It seems like you've isolated some of the things that you you have a problem with the need to work out. Yeah, I mean, that's that's one great leap on the way to figuring it out and knowing what you're trying to work on. Some people go their whole life not understanding what the fuck is wrong.
I'm jealous of those people. I grew up.
A lot of those people, those people watch TV all the time now. They just they are who they are and they just fucking do that.
There is something I know I have actually so fucked up this people like when I look at people that just do whatever the fuck they want to do.
You know, who doesn't want to just fucking eat a large cheese pizza and then finish it off with a pint of ice cream? Those people that do that, I know they pay for it. But there is something to be I'm reading this book right now on Bobby Lane was a quarterback for the Detroit Lions. And there's all these legend that his story is so legendary. You don't even know whether the legend is and where the truth is. But like this guy, Art Donovan, used to tell a story about, you know, he was on the other team and he sacked him.
And, you know, he's getting up. And Bobby Bredon goes, Jesus Christ, man, where the fuck did you go last night?
And Bobby allegedly said last night he goes, I had a couple of pops at halftime. You know, these guys were fuckin lunatics.
And he lived this life where he had this wide array of friends, really progressive, where he he like, you know, through playing sports, he had African-American friends. And if they were to go in someplace and they said, your friend can't come in because we're not fucking going in. I mean, this guy was doing this in the 50s and 60s. Right. And he was always like that. But he died at like 58 or 59. And it was hard for all of his friends to see him, you know, not being like the legend.
But there's a great part in the book where he's talking about his life and. Like knowing that, you know, he probably should have gone easier, but like this big smile came on his face that he kind of did it the way he wanted to because, believe me, do it. I would love to go home and kill a bottle of bourbon right now. I would love to smoke another fucking five of these fucking things, but I got too many people dependent on me.
But there is something to be said about living. You know, people, they just.
I like booze, I like it, I get drunk and just don't want to do it every night, I'm fucking going to do it. I live at home. I want to get a pizza. I'm going to have a fucking pizza. You do pay for it. But there is. I made me think of like, well, Lemmy from Motorhead. Well, what's. Yeah. What's that life like. Yeah.
As opposed to being like, well you know, I got to make sure my brussel sprouts and I like and you kind of. Inch your way to death as opposed to just being like fucking. Pizza tastes good. I want a pizza. Fuck it, I'm having one. Let's try every bourbon. I love that in the lameduck, when he just had all those surburban, the greatest thing that Lemi thing is in those guys are saying, let me go tell you want you want some Jack Daniels to go.
Yeah. And he takes a bottle down and then hands both of them their own bottle and they were like, what the fuck.
And he starts drinking out of this like he's having a coke. Del Ray said something fucking hilarious.
But when you watch the let me duck, he goes, Dude, if I saw that thing when I was in my 20s and I knew Lemmy was going to live to be 70, he goes, I never would have stopped.
His last days were rough, though. I remember I think everybody these last days are rough unless you drop dead. But his last days on performing, I mean, he basically performed until the wheels fell off.
There's a video of him like one of the last shows that he did where he had to walk off stage the middle of his performance. He was such a fucking badass, even like just the way he had the microphone, the way he would sing. We just came in, the fucking bass was all low.
Yeah, you can't teach that man. That kid was fuckin in his DNA while he lived it, that's for sure.
And he is a legend. And there's something to be said for that. It's all what you put your energy to. Yeah. Are you like I notice it's the balls to live that life.
Yeah. Indulgent and wild. Yeah. We're like this there's all this heroism to sobriety but which there is. Yeah. Being sober and just taking life in the face every day is is fucking hard.
And I think to see somebody but that has the balls even with all the surgeon general shit as I'm sitting here smoking a fucking cigar, looking for a toothpick if you have one now, no toothpick.
Who's got the piece of stick right there to the. And stick it in here. This is why it stops the because I smoke it right down to my fucking fingers. You whittle that thing down. Jesus Christ, you give me that stick. Oh, is that the way you supposed to hand somebody a knife? Well, I was going to say, are you going to do it? Yeah. I don't need you, Joe. I don't need anybody.
Good luck. You need a roach clip.
You want another cigar so you don't have to do that. I mean, we have now this is the best part.
That's the best part of cigar. Yes. Most mostly get the smoke goes right to you.
Yeah. OK, I feel like I'm in therapy. I'm a therapist right now. Listen, don't switch the kid glove tone with me. All right? I'm just fucking around here. I'm sorry, Bill, to you. That just. Just trying to assess the situation now, are you? Is that what your training has taught you? You talk to all these whack jobs on your fucking podcast.
The let me think is, you know, that's one of the things that people love about them, right? Because everybody knows you're supposed to eat well. Everybody knows you're not supposed to get fucked up every night. Everybody knows you're supposed to be responsible and mature and. And smart, but we did just why didn't work? No, it's going to be look them there. He was just wild, wild to the end.
And I think you need you need people like that, you do, you do, because you can get a lot out of the way that they live where every once in a while you feel like, you know, fuck this, let's go. Let's be Lemi today.
You get you get great art out of those people to those wild people, the couches and the Sam Kinison, the lemmings and the people are just fucking go hard. There's something to that. Yeah. There's something to that too. Yeah, there's also something to people that are stoic, you know, what's interesting to me is the just the range of people I can get I can get things out of people that just drink water and meditate. And I'm fascinated by them.
I'm fascinated by people like I was watching some. Do you know Russell Simmons? He lives in like what does he live in?
Like Bali or Indonesia or something like that. He was doing an Instagram live and he's doing it cross legged with like some crazy yoga shawl over his knees and shit.
And like, he looks like an ashram. And he's like he's basically talking like a yogi in an. This guy was the head of Def Jam. Yeah.
And he got like really, really into yoga.
And now he lives in some country somewhere and just fuckin does yoga. I was doing Instagram live, talking to people like like like a guru. Yeah, I ain't going to go that hard. I'm not either. I'll do I'll do a yo. I mean, I kind of do my own version of yoga, just shit that I've learned. Do you do a little yoga? I stretch all the time.
Yeah, I have to because I you know, you just get to a certain age if you don't, I mean, you know.
Yeah. I love stretching. Yeah. You kind of got to do all of that shit.
So anyway, enough of that you have to take a yoga class. Yeah. Like hot yoga. You ever do that.
I almost I just felt like I couldn't breathe. Yeah. And I remember to also like my back was fucked up.
That's why I went to the class and the like.
The position she started out with there was the twisting was happening too quickly.
So I kind of just went down to the mat and I was doing all the thing and the teacher got like all freaked out by it, really.
She's like, come on, you know, try to stay with the class. You can't be, like, busting out all these different classes. And I just started fucking laughing where I was just thinking, like, this is all supposed to be about listening to your body and you're literally you're like the oil man in here trying to control this is your own little fucking economy. And just the fact that I fuck you're walking around like you got it all figured out.
You got 99 percent of people here all doing what the fuck you say. And one guy goes down to his mat because his back is fucked up and you process it like I'm fucking with the authority in a yoga class.
Hmm. So with my broad brush, I said, fuck, hot yoga, delirious.
Yoga teachers like everything else, you know, some of them you're going to enjoy, some of them are going to be really good at it. And some of them, you know, know the fuck out of you. What annoys the fuck out of me is when they start giving you motivational advice and telling you how to live your life, you've got to learn to let go of things like for me and then tell some personal story. And so what I got out of that and like, Jesus Christ, can we fucking move on here?
I didn't come here to hear your first grade.
I used to go to this country. Psychology was a great class. It was a great class. But the dude he had, it was fucking awesome.
I like I was after a while, I would go I was just psychologically breaking this guy down and something happened to him at a gold's gym.
I don't know what happened to him. He just was forever making fun of muscle heads. And I was thinking because I've had the hybrid thing going on, like, I know I fucked up my shoulder, I loved lifting weights, I love going to the gym and all that shit.
And I liked the energy in a gym. You know, I liked it and the old school ones, right, when the guys used to walk around with the towels tucked into their fucking, you know, that shit, and he was forever shitting on it.
And then another thing that he would do would he would. Also somehow steer it toward like a subtle comment about lovemaking in the way, too, and he was putting out like his vibe that he was good in bed at the same time.
That's a yoga guy move.
Oh, you know, and he had a little ponytail and she was. But, you know, it was like a Will Ferrell character. It was fucking funny.
Is like this is like it was like a real life, like Will Ferrell, like. They just really just like I know everything kind of it was you wasn't as bad as that, but it was just that they had it. Yeah, it was funny, though, and I used to sit there.
Yeah, this is like this dude in New York, I remember was fucking hilarious and what was hilarious was I was bad at yoga, if you know, I suppose you would say that if you're doing it, man, you just, you know, where of your body that is supposed to be.
Right. And I just remember when he would walk around the class and he would adjust people. He'd always skip me and then adjust some hot chick who was way more flexible.
And it's just like, really, I'm doing it right as I'm sitting here. I have some reason I never needed an adjustment, of course. And there was this was like the 90s. So you can get away with this shit. There was a lot of adjusting like this, almost cupping a titty and fucking like shit on the hips and stuff.
Yeah. Hey, God bless them.
It's like a Pied Piper. You've got all these hot chicks in there and you get them all stretched out before he bagged and it worked. So I couldn't hate on them for that. But it was I to get through the class because I have such fucking Addie's. I was just there was like a comedy show going on within it, like, you know, like house. And then like I thought, you got to go, you know, we'll do it, you know, like a bet when he's going to how many times are going to shit on the gym.
What does he say? Um, what would he say?
He would talk about he would talk about the muscle heads coming in there and they had no flexibility and you know, how everything was all like overdeveloped.
But, you know, we'd always been doing some fucked up Poes or something. And he goes, this works on your. So as like what machine in the gym. You know, is there. So as a machine, you know, I can't I was like, fuck, it was a long time ago and at first it pissed me off.
It's just like, well, I like fucking doing curls, what's right.
And then it just became funny to me. There's a specific type of guy that's like that.
I went to a yoga guy once used to singing classes.
He wound up like he wound up banging this lady that was there.
And it was a lot back in the day. You can't do it now. There was a lot of banging back.
There's a lot of this is like I guess this is late 90s, early 2000s maybe. And he would sing in class and it was so cheap.
It was so disingenuous. Oh, like you would do these, like, yoga songs. I'm like, you are so gross.
I'm glad I wasn't the only one know you got better, but famous for that.
There was, but there was some really good ones that I fucked like that. I found out, you know, some yeah.
There's some really good ones.
This is really this guy go to I mean, you hear him talk, you think he's going to be annoying.
Let's get pierced nipples, the whole deal. But he's really sincere.
He's really into it.
He's so gay. He's so gay is like oozing when he talks.
But, you know, he's just so, you know, the way it's so gay, like the way he talks. We're here. We're here. You're supposed to be here.
Let it go. And but that's who he is. Like, he's comfortable. He's well, that is the lowest class.
Well, that's the thing is if it's genuine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then it becomes this great thing.
Yeah. That's who he is. He's yeah. It's, it's like whoever the fuck you are, if that's who you are like I like it and I don't want you to try to sell me on who you are, like the guy with the love.
Make it go to the last two hours of this podcast.
The selling you on who they are is where it gets really gross pretending to be something or not not be. I mean, I like flaws. It's good we all have them, you know, so my favorite people are all flawed.
I don't mind, and it's not even that guy was flawed, he was just he was just like normally you would think if a guy was talking like that, teaching yoga class like this is not going to be fun.
But it was great. There's a lot of people that are really good at it, man. It's just finding them, you know?
So I like the place that I go to. I just look at the schedule. I'm like, oh, that's a good one. Oh, I take her class. I like him. He's fun. Yeah.
And this is one of those weird tattoos, like real strange.
Like it always has to be clean too, because there's so much sweating going on. I hate when you go like those hot yoga classes, there's just no way to get the floors were sweating like there's just no way to.
He's got to accept it. It's so good for your body, so good for your stretching too, because you can get into positions when you're doing hot yoga that you're not going to get into. And it's like really stretching that tissue out and extending your range of motion.
I love it. I'm a fucking evangelist for it, though, I tell so many people to do it, a lot of people have listened, but more people just get annoyed. Well, I love that when you guys do the sober October. Mm hmm. You know, when I watch Sagara in fucking Krischer dry out and like three weeks in, they start looking like movie stars and shit.
Well, we did the fitness one.
We did one sober October fitness challenge. We all wore these these straps and we had to compete to see who can get the most fitness points. Stuff like that.
Ari got a fucking six pack like Ari got shredded like he doesn't even work out before that he was never working out. And over the course of the month, by the end of the month, he had a legit six pack and he looked great.
He was he's always pretty wiry, though.
Yeah, he did. Thin. Yeah. He got fat at one point in time because he was eating nothing but candy. He was literally eating candy all day long.
He was always, always holding a bag of gummy bears with him and shit like that. But then I got to say I saw the message. When we're done with this, I got to play the message, him congratulating me having a kid. It's so Ari, so fucking funny.
But, yeah, he he dried out with that and then didn't he never gain it back. But he never, never had that six pack again. He was shredded because he was super competitive. He was really trying to win. It was really interesting and interesting to watch. I know.
And I liked how Burt would do it to where Bert would have like he would always have like a crazy buildup that was totally against what he told me. This story about him running the fucking L.A. Marathon and like drinking the night before. I was like, dude, you could have fucking died.
And he never really trained for it.
But he but he just but he he he's mentally strong. He just got himself from this mindset of put one foot in front of the other and I am not stopping until I get to the finish line.
Twenty six miles. Fuck fucking hellhole for a fat guy. They did it, yeah. You won't catch me doing that. No, no marathon running, no DAVISSON at all. Um, no, I was not I used to ride a bike, I did that for a while where I, uh, I got so into it. I mean, one time I actually was drinking in the afternoon and I still had to go on a bike ride. I got on a bike shitfaced.
I was sweating.
This is the 80s to no helmet, no nothing, and just fuckin rode like like 12 miles. And I never had heard the expression. I never felt hitting a wall at, like, whatever the electrolytes were, there was just nothing left.
And I was like six miles this east coast.
There's all kinds of hills and shit from my house.
And I was like, I don't think I don't what am I going to do? There was no cell phones, like, what am I going to do? So I just kept riding. And then it was like this five minute, like, I'm going to die, I'm not going to get through this. And then I just got to the other side with a I think my body was just like I there must be something like death must be chasing us.
So we need to go and do something else here. And I push through into that.
That's what they say happens when you do those ultramarathons, those people, they get to a point where they think there's no way they can keep going. They're doing 100 hundred miles and they're thirty eight miles in and they're ready to quit.
But they just managed to just keep left, right, left, right, left, right. And eventually you get into a zone and you cross the finish line.
Twenty hours later, God bless them now, that's that I would just say, well, that you have all the people handing you cups of shit and you can is a lot of things you have to do in those 24 hour races.
You have to eat to run dry. It's like a regular marathon. Yeah, no, I'm not yeah, that's triathlon's Bill has been a great therapy session. Thank you. Season for coming out tomorrow.
How you have time to do that? How the fuck do you have time to do efforts for family as well? Stand up as well as all the other shit you do. Play the drums delegation.
Yeah, you you surround yourself with super talented people.
You do your job, they do their job, and you're able to be able to do that. I'm able to do it.
But I, I needed this break, though. I'm not guilty.
I needed it too. I didn't think I needed it. I thought it was fine. But now I am like fucking chomping at the bit to get back on stage. I need to wait.
And I yeah, I miss hearing people laugh and hangin with comics and hearing the crazy shit.
They say next time I see opens of the store. Yes. Or the Troubadour. The Troubadour. Either one either. I'm in Bellbird. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much, Big Brother.
Thank you, friends, for tuning into the show. And thank you to our sponsors. Thank you. To the sensational Blue Moon beer. You can get it delivered to your home. You don't have to go anywhere. Get Blue Moon delivered by visiting, get dot blue moon beer dotcom and see your delivery options. Blue Moon, reach for the moon. Celebrate Responsibly. Blue Moon Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado Ale. We're also brought to you by Masterclass.
So much interesting stuff. Neil deGrasse Tyson will teach you scientific thinking and communication. I highly recommend that you check it out and you can get unlimited access to every master class. And as a JAYATI listeners, you get fifteen percent off the annual all access pass. Go to master class Dotcom Rogan. That's Master Class Dotcom Slash Rogen for fifteen percent off master class. We're also brought to you by groove rings.
Folks, if you're a person like me that does a lot of physical activities and you are concerned and you should be that your wedding ring is going to ruin your finger. Get yourself a groove ring folks. There's so much better than any other silicone ring I have ever used the moment. I mean, Michael Chandler, who's a friend and he's been on the podcast before, he told me about him. And when I first put him, like, how good can a silicone ring be?
Just a silicone round. No, these are better. They're awesome. And they have a ninety four year warranty. How about that? Break it, tear it, even lose it.
You can lose it and it's covered. Get yours at Rogan Love's Groove Dotcom and use the code Rogan at checkout to get fifteen percent off. That's Rogan Love's Groove dot com and use the code Rogan for fifteen percent off and we're also brought to you by on it And there's six week body weight program a six week workout plan that you could do at home and it's now free for doctors and nurses. This is our way of showing appreciation to the front line health care workers who have responded so bravely to the coronavirus pandemic for a limited time.
Nurses, doctors and health care professionals can get the program for free. Go to Omnicom to learn more. Thank you, friends much. Love to you all. Bye bye.