Happy Scribe

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Give it up for the great and powerful Hannibal Burress government podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience, trained by Joe Rollicking podcast by night all day. Hello, Hannibal, what's happening, man? Good to see you, my friend. Good to see you, too. There's been a last time I saw you was in Thailand. It was in Thailand. Yeah, I was. I was two years. Who he is.


Twenty eight. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That was random.


That was very rare. That's so crazy to me. We had dinner hung out in Thailand. I was like, this is wild.


Yeah. Yeah. At the end it was in Chiang Mai. Yeah. Yeah I was doing Muay Thai. Yeah.


That's crazy. So you just decided just up and decided I'm going to go there by myself. Yeah. For several months. Just a month. Oh you went for a month. Yeah. And trained Mai Thai.


Yeah I needed to, I needed a reset after doing tag.


I wanted to kind of just reset my brain after doing so much press because it was a lot of press and a lot of just, you know, repetition as. So I need to go do something extreme to get into a totally different zone.


What was do you ever train more time before that? No one was like glasses the first day.


So I went in in Bangkok first.


I went to my class. I just went to one in my camp was in Phuket. And so the is all the other gyms outside.


So to warm up, I was drenched in sweat and I ten minute warm up. Oh this is, this is good. But it was, it was dope man.


It was just, it was, it was nice to I stayed on the camp for a little bit so it was, it was nice to just have that focus and live there and be there and just work out and lean into it. It was cool.


How into did you get did you ever were you ever like hitting the pads going I think I should take a fight. No, no, take a fight.


But it was it was some times where my my kicks I'm Bow-Legged so my kicks are weird.


So doing a roundhouse I wouldn't be able to so my elbows were, would sit in my knee and so some of the trainers, they called it, they started that was my nickname.


It was elbow elbow my elbow.


But my kicks will be so weak it would be so weak, it just hit the pad and just have a pitiful sound.


It's not a thing that comes easily, especially, you know, when you're in your 30s and you just starting to train like Moatize. There's like to move your legs like that.


And that kind of dexterity takes a while. It's a slow, gradual build up.


Yes, but the hips have to be looser. And it was just. But I'm also bowlegs. So certain yoga things that I can't do even sit Indian style.


But you seem normal when you're walking around. How are you? Because I know some dudes that are really Bow-Legged. My walk is a little bit it has a little bit to when I run it gets really crazy.


I don't look how I think I look in my head while I'm walking. I think the music in my head is do it.


But my walk is kind of burnt out after I've done my walk is way weird. I look at on camera who is that guy and what causes Bow-Legged.


This is an anatomy thing.


Is it just like an anatomy thing. Yeah, it's going to stand up so. Yeah. So my knees don't touch so it's seem normal.


I'm not seeing anything weird, not crazy but it's just it, it, it effects my roundhouse guy.


You know.


I could help you with that, I guarantee you. I bet some stretches and some learning how to do it slowly. The thing about roundhouse kicks and he kicks in general is people try to do them like fast.


You really want to learn them slow. You want to learn like you've got to resist the urge to try to hit things.


What you really want to do is just go through the motions, just go through the motions, just slow and do that for a long period of time, like many, many, many weeks before you guys try to like it.


And then you want to kicking up and you put all the strain on your ligaments and your supporting leg because you're not pivoting. They fuck themselves. And then it's hard to unlearn that. See, when you learn something, if you learn it wrong, like when I used to teach the worst students were students that learn something wrong.


You would think like, oh, I already have five years of karate in this night. And I'm like, oh, great, this should be good. It was never good. It was the opposite. You're better off taking a young kid with no experience at all. They can get way better, way faster, because they don't have any bad habits, because as soon as you get nervous or as soon as you get tired, you go right back to your bad habits.


You go back to your house, you have to relearn everything it was.


Seeing the kids, I went to some of the fights out there and his wife and the kids in in the undercard, well, you said seven year olds crazy, right? Fight it. This is wrong. But I got to see the main event, too, so I can leave.


It's that culture. It is. It is kind of feels wrong, but it's their culture. And it's also how a lot of the families make money. I mean, they literally send their kid off to the camp.


But I was all I was trying to figure out. And so this is part of the culture. It's national sport, but it doesn't seem.


You know, you have people this is some some fighters that alleges they're the equivalent to Mike Tyson or and you could probably get a private with them for 400 bucks. Yeah.


So what's going on with the model over there where it's been a national sport for a while, but it seems like the money isn't there? Is it corruption or what will happen?


Well, first of all, it's very inexpensive to go to the fights. You know, that everything's inexpensive in Thailand. And I mean, everybody's wearing flip flops, right?


It's an interesting place. Like my friend Jamling Par went there when he was a boy. He was a young teenager and lived there, lived as a monk. You know, he's an Australian multiple time world Mutai champion. And he he spent like a good deal of his time growing up there and really embraced the culture. And he's like, they're just first of all, it's the land of smiles. Like everyone's everyone's friendly.


Like one of the things I noticed, they're like people are genuinely very friendly. There's very little materialism there. People are generally happy with like wearing a pair of shorts. It's never cold out. So you can wear shorts and flip flops. And that's how everybody's walking around. And I don't think there's a lot of money in the business.


You know, I think there's a nothing takes it, king takes it.


King takes a lot where we take a picture in front of the king. We did we had a picture and I was like, I don't know if we should post this.


Like you and me smiling in front of a picture of the king, like you might get in trouble for that. There's weird rules over there for the king.


The king I actually had a bit about.


I cut it not because I was scared, but just because it in it is, but is about how he you know, you have to stand up during the national anthem and they play it at certain times and a player before the movies.


So I went to the movies out there to see it.


MAN two And after the previews, the king of Thailand hype video comes on and everybody has to stand up in the movie, in the movie theater.


But it was the worst produced. It was a terrible video.


I see Instagram fitness models with better videos than a king.


As I tell you, the king gets some king like production value. And I know top notch editors.


I don't think Thailand is known for its like films. He needs to get on five or something.


I don't work for five or maybe what's one lost all the money could be political. It was a go that it could be.


Yeah, maybe get on that. Oh no. He needs because you're the king. Yeah. Are you putting your stuff in a Marvel movie.


Do you see that shit with his mistress. He had an official mistress, but she fucked up and she got demoted. And so she had to like like bow down in front of them in front of everybody. Like she was talking shit like the mistress probably wanted to be the queen, like over there. She's, like, begging for forgiveness.


Oh, my king makes mistress lie at his feet and make her is what does it say as he makes his way from the sun.


But it's official. That was when she was the official concubine attended by his Whately. They were wife in all capitals, but then he demoted her.


This is this is when she became the official concubine. And by the way, I think that was the first time anybody had an official concubine like a hundred years.


That's that's the this is the flashiest version of. I don't know that. I hope I don't let out how I love you look. Oh, same that bitch in front of everybody. Look, she had to lie down and be like, look, fuck you.


It's words like the king's I only see us, you see, as he's the only baller.


The only, like everyone else, is just kind of normal, there is there is life here. It's the same thing.


Oh, the wife, I do the same shit. Wow. And she's pointy on her head. What is that?


What about the people laying down and cleaning? Seems very odd. A good for him. They seem to love him. He used to be the ICU, the former.


She was a soldier, bodyguard, former bodyguard.


OK, you take that weird hat off and come live with me. That's a microphone cover. That's this. That's the. Take that hat off.


I'll stop chatting that stuff. Let's go have some tape.


I did enjoy Thailand. I enjoyed it a lot. It's a good time. Yeah, I went back last year, did the same thing.


Who's that? Just for a little bit. Not the what's going on there. They crept up. What is this? The monarchy even threatened to sue Facebook over the startling shots taken in 2016 by a passer by who recognized the king.


Oh, that's the king yoga class. Wait a minute. Cell cycle.


Well, she she has to wear the crazy hat and sport. He's a mute. Oh, he's kicking it. OK, yeah.


The laws over there are. So people I saw something about someone get put in jail for liking a post making fun of the Kings Dog. Yeah. I saw that just is the next picture I saw.


This is a. So that's just how he likes to rock it, he likes tank tops that show his belly button. That's cool. It's cultural. OK, yeah, that's I'm the king is the king.


If I was the king of Thailand, I dress like that to fucking do, bitch.


Yeah. You can get a lot of trouble for making fun of him over there.


Yeah. Yeah. Guess we're not going back.


Well we probably shouldn't for a couple of years. Cambodia, it is Myanmar. I want to go see. Have you ever seen that way. Do you know what that is. No. That's like if you think Thai boxing is extreme, they take it another level. That way they use headbutts and they kick you when you're down. They do all kinds of crazy shit and kicked.


Kicked while down. Is this is it looks it's too intense. It's intense. We David Leduc, who's the the king of let's say he came on the podcast Wild Man.


He's a wild man.


And I think about oh, they're bare knuckle too.


Yeah. I just want some cardio. This is let's look at this. This is how you the bare knuckles, they just it's basically like morti, but way, way more hardcore.


Like see that you can you dude when he's on his way down it's just it's way more hardcore. It's like one more level of hard core and headbutts, a lot of headbutts.


Yeah, but they basically use all the techniques of morti but they just take it to a totally different level.


This the second time I went when I went to call some way in last year and this girl, I said she would go to a couple classes and I didn't know she had Moiseyev before.


So we we had a private and she was lighting the bag up with the kicks.


Oh, no, bad, bad. I was like, oh. And then I get out there and my Bow-Legged kicks a bit and then the train is like, come on, you will do better.


Look at oh no. See the light bao bao let's not do. Elbow elbow. And she fought before.


I don't think she fought but she had trained a good amount.


It was. Yeah it was. She laid it up but she was one of those people.


I mean you know you can't tell people but I had known a little bit but they didn't know that she had she kept it under wraps.


Yeah. Was it uncomfortable after that? No, I wasn't uncomfortable. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it was so unexpected. I didn't know. Yeah. There's something about women that can fight.


Like it's an extra element of danger.




You have women who lock you up like a hot chick who can fuck you up is like, oh, that's that's nerve wracking gamein.


Like if you're a woman like a holly home or like, you know, world champion kickboxer woman like how what kind of man do you date? Like you got to date another savage.


Yeah. Data fighter. You have to they can't, they can't respect regular people.


They'll fuck you up unless they separate.


Not a problem. Unless they dominate you. They'd like to hold you down, make either post or you just grab you by the back of the head closet.


Fucker. Cool motherfucker. Shut up. Yeah. I just got for ten miles that kind of shit.


Drip, drip, drip.


It's by a lot of guys who are into that though, you know.


Dudes are really getting kicked in the balls during all kinds of weird shit, you can find somebody out there that's into everything. They're getting kicked.


That one that seems extreme because what you see, the videos of guys that are in getting kicked in the balls by women now. Oh my God, I want to show it to you know, they won't look it up.


They they they're really getting kicked in the balls and getting their ball stomped on by stilettos.


That's like a whole category of like pain and torture, like all those BDM folks, you know.


Yeah, yeah, yeah. To stop it out seems as. I don't know what would really lead you to that, to that zone of extremes.


Look, I love Jim Norton to death, but he likes chicks pissing on them and all kinds of crazy shit. People are in a weird stuff, man. People living out there dead live and people out there living, you know, speaking live. Yeah, I've been hearing some crazy shit about you, where you and I've been hearing that you are making a move like a very, very unusual move to a very strange place. Yeah, it's very unusual for a man from Chicago to just up and take off.


Yeah, that's I do want to get into that. Just reminded me that I bought some of those flamethrowers when they when I was selling about Elon Musk, when I bought them with the intent of reselling and in my parents basement.


So how many got I bought for. That's a good investment. That's worth a lot of money. Yeah. Yeah. I got a yeah. I got to go check on them.


OK, so with this, how you doing.


Something crazy. Am I so covid and just kind of being cooped up. It really made me think about how. You know, the places that I've lived and what was keeping me from living elsewhere and moving on. International is because all you need to be here for work as something you have to be, you know, within a couple hours of these places to the tour or film.


But now, Toranosuke, where are you doing any touring at all? No one's last time you did in the beginning of.


March me to march in Denver two weeks ago. Did Houston how's that weird? Yeah, first show was weird. Second show was normal. Second show was a show for show was like, I can't believe I'm going to do stand up again.


Do you know Moses? Brian Moses. Yeah. Roast Battle Me, Moses and Tony Hinchcliffe. We went to the Houston Improv. It was awesome. We had a good time. It was really fun, man. It was like the old days.


But I got weirded out and I was like, man, I don't want to catch this shit. Like, is this worth it? Like, why am I what am I doing? And then Houston, while we were there, they got this thing that they're moving back to stage one. So they're they're going back. So they're shutting all the bars down. Restaurants are down to 50 percent capacity. And I was like, look, you know, we're not in the crowd, the stage of the been the Houston Improv, has it moved in years as I haven't been?


It's my first time ever.


OK, it's nice. It's a nice place and it's got a high stage. So you're above everybody. It's not like they're spitting in your face. You're above them. Everyone was wearing masks. So I was like, this is probably safe.


But afterwards, you know, just odd. It was just odd. And I was like, I don't want it. I don't want to get sick.


And most importantly, I don't want to get anyone sick. Right.


So I was like, you know, my my wife's mom lives down the street from us. And I don't you know, I mean, it's like, what if I got a guest sick?


I had a I had a small jam session on my roof on Sunday, was initially supposed to be the band handful of people. And then it didn't get crazy.


Like everybody was packed. Everybody still kept their space. It was a reasonable setup. But with these times it made it intense. And I had some mushroom drink that my friend Babylon and made. And so I had a good time.


I got on a mike a little bit nuts, but and it was cool and, you know, people were vibe and everybody was excited to be the bands playing different people. And then at one point I started looking around, Yo, did I?


Am I creating some type of a super spur to see to it like the outdoors is maybe 15, 18 people, but I just started oh, I'm just I'm about to be in the goddamn news for this party is somebody's gonna die from being.


And it was just I had the worst trip ever because of it, because I never had an Hatti, you know, new spot for me. So I hadn't had it was just it was a lot of sensory overload and just thought spiraling. And my friend, one of my friends come up, she said, you are right.


And I was like, I was really I was gone. I had to take a walk around a block.


And it just it was, it was er because I did I just create some type of a situation where somebody could die from a fucking jam session jazz because I kind of get antsy about, you know, wanting to do something, you know, and yeah, it was, it was rough.


I had, I had that was Sunday. I had some a couple appearances a calls to do Monday canceled those like no on camera today.


I'm still pulling it back to get it was it was bonkers man.


Yeah. I got back, I immediately got tested and when I was clean I was like, that's it. Yeah.


I'm canceling everything for a while until they come up with some sort of a treatment or until herd immunity is kicked in to the point where, you know, the virus dropped down to a very low level of viral load and people aren't getting real sick.


It's just if everybody was healthy, I would have no worry. Right. But I don't want unhealthy people to die or old people that, you know, it's it's so complicated, man. You know, I have a few friends that I have, like nine friends and I've got it. Yeah. And everyone's fine. But what if they weren't, you know, I mean, there's a lot of people that aren't.


It's scary. It's weird.


And we were just I mean, I was just reading this story about from the UK. I think it was the mirror, all these people that they're finding that have very minimal symptoms, but then they have this brain disease. Damn. Yeah.


Like some inflammation of the brain. And some of them had to be on anti psychosis meds. One lady, what did she saw? Lions in her fucking house. Yeah. A new study, the potentially more that warned that potentially deadly brain disorders may be a symptom of covid-19 even in people with otherwise mild disease. The research published today by the journal Brain, looked at 40 adult patients with covid-19 in the UK finding that they showed symptoms of a wide range of serious brain diseases.


Many of the patients had only mild, typical covid-19 symptoms, such as fever or respiratory issues. And for some, their neurological symptoms were the only sign that they were sick. One 55 year old woman with no known current or historical mental illness was admitted to a hospital with recognized covid-19 symptoms, including fever, cough and muscle aches. She was discharged after two weeks, having been treated with oxygen. But four days later, her husband reported she was confused and behaving strangely.


She didn't experience hallucinations, reporting that lions and monkeys, she was seeing lions and monkeys in our house and became delusional and aggressive with her family and hospital staff. She was treated with antipsychotic medication, and her symptoms improved over the course of three weeks, although the study did not does not confirm whether she made a full recovery. What?


Yes, pretty bonkers, right?


This fucking disease is bonkers because for some people it ain't shit, right? I know some people that were asymptomatic. They went through the whole thing with nothing. They they they had like they tested positive. They didn't feel it. They they they chilled. They just quarantined for two weeks. They got retested. They don't have it anymore. They never felt anything. And then I know other people that months later they can't go up flights of stairs. They're exhausted all the time.


They got no motivation that just everything feels just the world like they got a weight vest on everywhere they go.


Yes, fight this disease, it's it's it's flipped everything upside down, man, that's why so I've been thinking about what are you going.


Thing about going to Ghana for a couple months. Oh, you're not going to put it on the side, you show me the outfit. Come on, man, you know this I actually I got this I got this in a in a you know, I don't get to go nowhere.


So, you know, is he put on some flak every now and then and I don't know. So this part, it's also that part. Make sure you don't catch that on the camera.


But this is a this is from Singapore, a random jacket I get over the holiday. I would think about going to Ghana just because.


I took an African ancestry test. Apparently, I'm gaining on my father's side and I think. America is going to be. It's very annoying now and it's going to be pretty annoying in November, so if I can get out of here October. At least for two or three months, just as an exploratory trip and get a different perspective to live from right from work from in just a whole different zone for a bit and really dive in out there, I think now is the time to focus shifted.


I love the idea. I love it, especially now, right, you just released a special it's available free on YouTube right now. Yeah. So like, what better way to come up with new material than live in Ghana for a few months right before the world explodes because it's going to fucking explode no matter who wins.


Man, I'm nervous to be here, no matter who wins is because it's not a. Biden is not a is going to be weird because it's not something to really cheer for, even if the plan is for him to pass it off. Yeah. And step down. That's still weird. Yeah. If that's not going to be that's not smooth to step. Hey, I'm old. I'm, I wan I'm stepping down. That's that's going to create a whole zone.


The only way that would ever work is if whoever his running mate was was preferable to him and everybody was excited about it like someone who you would have voted for anyway.


And we don't even know who the running mate is right now. As of today, July 8th, we don't know who that is. But if the running mate is preferable to him and like, good, he's going to be a woman. Good. Give it to her. Let her run it. If it's like that, maybe it will be OK. But he's not even around. He's hiding somewhere. He's in a basement.


I, I just am skeptical of him just because he. He was vice president as an old guy for eight years.


I mean, he was just jealous, says jealous. Look at over one day.


One day is so that's too weird of that's too weird of a wait. It is weird to make that move at this age is is to be a cab 60 for president.


Well and I'm only saying 60 to be nice. About 50, 50, 55.


Well when Reagan was president he was the oldest president before Trump and then dimentia.


Yeah. He wound up getting Alzheimer's. Right. Was it Alzheimer's? I think dimentia, I'll just never forget when I was an open mycar, was like nineteen eight, there's a guy named Jimmy Tingle's a Boston comedy legend. The others joke about Reagan on trial because Reagan was on trial and they asked him if he ever sold arms to Iran and he said he couldn't remember.


And Jimmy was like, Mr. President.


If you ever sell arms to people who hate us, jotted down, make a note, put it on your refrigerator.


Yeah, you should have some type of reminder.


Yeah, he went out and we thought he was bullshitting. Like we were like she's just pretending he doesn't remember.


But then in the end, he didn't remember anything.


Like, who knows if you remember that he is the age thing is there needs to be a sort of cap because why you shouldn't be first of all, your.


Any ambitions you have in your 70s should be private, things like carpentry or fly fishing, music production is Veep, right?


Any you sit have anything at 70 that has to do with the larger population? No, you go knit, you go read it and pursue something you wish you did when you were 32. That's not involved. And millions of people.


I say that. But then I was I was willing to vote for Bernie Sanders.


I was a Bernie Sanders supporter before he lost, you know, in the primaries. I felt like his policies were interesting. I could be an interesting way to shake up the country. Let's put focus on on human beings and people and communities instead of just money and foreign interventionist wars.


I think Bernie has some interest in policies and he's just you know, he sits on a PDF. Is he the only one that can't be that good?


If he's the only one I could do to, you know, pass him off and be the advisor on the side, you know? Yeah. Have you have, you know, give advice, you know, guidance.


Be the wise sage. Hmm.


The wise sage. But at that, you know, it's the travel is the travel is tough on a young healthy. It's tough on us. Exactly.


Yeah. When I got back from Houston I had not done stand up in a long time and I was exhausted on Sunday. I was like, fuck man. I forgot how tiring the shit. Multiple flights getting up in the morning, all that shit.


I am very curious now that this Jalen Maxwell guy or lady got arrested, you know, Jeffrey Epstein's confidant.


What first of all, how quick before they killer. Second of all, they don't kill her. What is she going to say? And who's going down?


Because there's a lot of people going down is is pretty bonkers. I don't think the election. You think it affects the 100 percent. 100 percent. Yeah.


Well, first of all, Trump used to hang out with that guy, his picture with Melania and Trump and Jeffrey Epstein and Gullane and Fox News cut out Trump. They cut they edited the picture so the Trump wasn't in the picture.


Now, like, well, we made a mistake. I bet you didn't make a mistake. There's the picture.


They were posing, partying together. They hung out what I know at the end to the dark on Netflix, they said that he had all of those tapes and all of those rooms were being taped. So I wonder if she has access to that or did they burn that? That's a good question. What's up?


Yeah, you know, he had a picture of Bill Clinton in a dress in the foyer of his house that it's a crazy picture like you are my bitch, because he had Clinton flew with him like 26 times.


Look at that. That's a picture. That's a real picture. There was in the foyer of his house in.


How crazy is that, that's a real picture, man, my friend Eric Weinstein has seen that picture in real life.


That's a real painting. Painting? Yeah, not a photo painting.


Sorry, but he also made it Tonto. He made him made it to let them know, bitch. I own you. I mean, that's what I'm a man. Look, we're friends. And then you came over my house and I got a painting. Hey, Hannibal, I want to show you something. You want a dress? If you and I have been partying together and I flew you to some island and we fuck kids together, and then you came over my house and there's a painting you want to dress in, like, what have I done?


Yeah. Just set us all on fire.


Just come in with chopped up with dynamite, everybody. You know what? I don't deserve to live anymore anyway.


It's so, it's so crazy because it's one of those things where you would hear about that from like the craziest conspiracy theorists, like bro, there's an island, they take all these elites and they have these underage girls in this island, like, get the fuck out of here with this crazy talk.


That is. So that's crazy talk. And then you find a way. It's true.


And they had scientists there and lawyers there and politicians, they're like. What there really was an island like they had the prince. What's his name, Prince Andrew. Prince Andrew was there.


His his part was was funny because they said, oh, is this picture of you? Yeah, that is a picture of me. But I don't remember. Yeah.


He was like, I don't hug. I'm a royal royals don't hug.


He just kept it. Yeah, that's me. But I don't I don't know. It's you. Yeah. He's blank faced lie like that and just keep it now. Just keep it. Nozawa it is what it is. Well why do you say that interview that he did the full interview I just saw in in the dock?


Well, there's an interview with him. I forget who the woman was. It was interviewing him. But when you're watching the interview, you like Holditch. Why did you do this?


Like, you know, you're guilty and you agreed to do this interview. This isn't even the cops. This is like a reporter and you're talking to this reporter and you're clearly full of shit and really nervous. This is great.


The whole thing's crazy is old old money, white guy, confidence that. But it's also it's royal confidence, right? They have. They have well, they also have crazy libel laws in the UK, like they can get away with a lot over there because like they could sue you for all kinds of shit.


And the royal family, I'm sure, is extremely litigious.


This is a whole story. Is it is Jane Maxwell as allegedly secret video footage of Prince Andrew. Oh, Jesus. PornHub. Here we come.


It just seems like we're going to movie man. It's like the the movie just keeps getting crazier and crazier. Yeah.


You know what I've been doing just to turn my brain off putting on that show. The floor is lava on Netflix and yes, sound off put music on some tied up with like the Super Mario theme and and it lines up and I'll play to death music when they fall into something just to just it's just good to zone out for a half hour hour and just look at something that is not intense at all, just nonsense, low stakes chill and it's just a SCAP a little bit.


I watch people try not to fall in the love. Yeah.


My friend Rutledge Rutledge, he's the host of that. He's a car guy. Shout out to Rutledge. Yeah, my kids love that show.


Yeah. Sound off. It's a good sound off show. It's just Redwater just you get it. You don't need to hear anything they say. I don't care about your back story. Oh you're all doctors. What I. OK I get it. I don't want to know. I don't know. And nobody sound like plays and tones.


And what's more noise. Love to. Yes. Oh that'd be. Yeah meditation is great.


Yeah. There's like those are the kind of things that are very, they're very popular at times like this. Like we want cartoons almost. We want things that are silly.


No stakes because you can is so much as so much news and every area has so much news right now. So if you want it you can get it right now because every state has its own individual Coruna situation. So you can kind of get lost in the I'm getting, you know, lost in California and Illinois because that's where I am, where my family is, but then is everywhere else. And then you kind of. Oh yeah. And that has been open for a while.


There's shooting stuff in Atlanta and even Soudan and film and film.


Oh. What's going on here. What's going on it.


So it says if you I was able to do it earlier and kind of oh shut off and get off fossil fuels at one point and then things got more intense, the George Floyd thing. And then I got back in the news again, like really looking at stuff and and and yeah, I need a I need a cleanse.


I don't think people are supposed to take in the news of the whole world.


I think it's very bad for you, I think, because most of the news you're going to get is the news of things that are dangerous. So you're getting things that are dangerous all over the world. So it gives you a distorted perception of the current danger around you.


And yeah, I think it's everywhere and it's not. And most of it isn't actionable. Where you use is news, you can take it. OK, well, I'm going to do this, right? Nope.


It's just you just take it like that's happened. It just get scared and or you.


So, yeah. And it's. And you got to figure out how to keep it, keep it mellow.


I watched marble races, the Marvel Lympics, they race marbles, a race, marbles, but the guy who sells it is the announcer because he just he just he's locked in the entire time.


So he's created they created this world. Where is these marble? And as different teams the same way NASCAR different team. And so he talks about it in such a way he doesn't break at all.


You know, NBA announcers, they veer off this weekend. Oh, they know the marble guy.


He knows the concept together about it. You know, the marble raises the well. And, you know, last week he talking about other races. Last week, they got they beat them by point three seconds. And how do they race marbles?


They just drop them up. They just roll and they just roll them, right? Yeah. Yeah. And they just he just so is they're cheating.


Like, what if someone oils the marbles, do they get a no humans on camera at all. Is this one guy or a couple of people off camera marbles in the stands last week.


Tonight they just knew gotten big now. Yeah.


That's happened over the past few months. But yeah, this video was a million views of marbles. Oh yeah.


The commentary. The commentary is what it desperately trying to better their last outing. You don't have to. It's like it's real. I'm the qualifiers and trials and finals and but there's no people at all in the stands.


There's marble's in the stands. Yeah. We're losing our fucking minds. We're losing our fucking minds. But that's been going since twenty sixteen.


Is that's oddly compelling, but is longer ones to itself, the importance of execution over ideas are important, but execution is really important because that's top notch execution of what could be a terrible idea in the wrong hands.


Marbury's you give me raises and isn't that going to be there?


Yeah, some people are designed to be a commentator for marble races. Let's look at this one. Let's look at a little elevator escalator takes us to the top conveyor belt.


What's one point three million views on this thing that is so crazy? A bunch of people watching marbles while the world burns was kind zone out.


Yeah, I get it. I get it. So, Ghana. Have you been before?


No, I've been to Nigeria and Kenya. Do you know anyone over there? I know a couple folks, actually. What was really I told my brother I was thinking about it and he says, oh, one of my my old friends from work is from Ghana. That's all. I have a call.


And so we get on a call and then.


I think I'm thinking he's going to say, oh, restaurant recommendations as just, you know, some type of fluff, kind of helpful, but but the heat's a trip so serious. We're OK.


We're going to have you meet these people. If you want to work on this, we're going to have you do this. And you. And so it made me take it so serious where I went from being kind of an idiot to I guess I'm doing this. Wow. I know it's going to be kind of laid out in a real structured way sometimes when I've traveled. I don't I haven't planned thoroughly like that.


So I think it's going to be exciting just to get in a whole whole different zone. I'm still youngest to live in another country.


You're not married, you don't have kids. This is the time to do it. Fuck it. Why not? You know, and you've been very smart with your money. I know you you invest in real estate, so you've got a bunch of shit going on making you money. Why not fuck it. Go. It's a good move. I like it.


I like the idea just of doing something like that where you completely take yourself out of the normal life, because for a creative person, I think you can run dry like in terms of inspiration and experiences.


I mean, obviously there's a lot of chaos around us right now.


There's a lot of things to draw from, but something like going to Ghana, all of my I've been making I've been makers of music and so is this show I've been doing called Smoking at church is James Earl and Jamal Brown. And it was my first time being around a group of people in a while that I didn't know when I got invited to the studios. Five or six people. This is pre my mushroom rooftop party freak out, but I get to the studio.


It was real nerve racking. Man is five people in here. Oh my God. And it was socializing again.


Oh hey, how are you doing. And hello. And eventually calm down. I actually took a shot for the first time and I hadn't drank since the beginning of twenty eighteen but I took a shot just to commemorate being around a group of people again and I had a drink since then and without and so I started making music with them and that's been my one place I've been going to.


Besides working at my spot, I've been, you know, hanging out and then just going there. I had three total places that I be.


Is anybody getting tested now I think was just going on the you don't seem like you die dying act.


It's not real. It's been you know, I think mostly we want to get tested. Yeah. You want you tested today and get you tested. Sure.


OK, all right. I want to be a test right now.


I'm going to make it worse than you are. I'm going to schedule it right now. So as my songs that I started coming up with. They were only about vapes because that's what was happening in the studio. I bring a vote. Somebody stole the from the studio. I was smoking a nicotine vape. And then it was a bad vibe. So it gave me the it is so I got about four or five songs that are just about vaping because my experiences have been really limited right now and I haven't been digging in the past.


Maybe I need to do songs about.


We tie your tie tracks, why not? Yeah, yeah, we'll tie them out here, they call me Elbow. You know, I'm getting you thinking of me. Hell no, my real house is wet, but I'm about to kick you back. Yeah, I'm light enough to pads catch me up and saying my I can't kick my leg high above the elbow, hit you right in your temple and then you won't be nimble. You'll be all limping.


Now it requires a little work but there's something there. Yeah. It's just you got to get it out and then rewrite it.


Now when you go to Ghana, do you have like a plan of what you plan on doing or what do you want to just go there and. Right. Do you want to go there and just experience life?


And I think I would want to I want to go there and. Yeah, work, produce, you maybe even start direct out there, are there regular flights there because a lot of places are quarantined, like I know some people that try to go to Italy and they found out, you know, even though they're letting people back in Italy, that won't let Americans.


I think by the time I think by September, I feel like. But who knows? This world is crazy. But there's there's been initiatives in Ghana that are trying to get black Americans to to come live there. So I think they would the Canadian government would move out the trip.


But I mean, would it be hard to catch a flight like how many flights are going to Ghana right now out of New York?


I'm hoping that things change in September. I was looking at a site because there's not a sites like Wasco.


Where can you go? Right. So I was just looking at cabin fever web search. Where can I where can I go?


And so as each country, like this world of Nomad or something like that, we're like, this is what's going on.


You can't go there except in private flights to certain countries that you can fly private there. There's place you get there, quarantining for 14 days.


So so it's such a such a way as I thought about going to Newfoundland before the U.S. and Canada border was closed because I started getting panicky and I was looking at places that had low amounts of cases. And I saw Newfoundland. You know what thought maybe I go to Newfoundland and then Trudeau and Trump, they started talking about closing the border, the Canadian U.S. assets to I I got it is now never I don't really go to Newfoundland.


Of course I didn't go, but it was Newfoundland's interesting.


They're really into curling up there.


I did a show up there and I made fun of curling and people started going, hey, they were mad, they were mad at Newfoundland.


I think of pull up this photo of Johnny Cash moose hunting in Newfoundland.


Here's another photo that we need to get turn into one of the big metal prints, the Johnny Cash, wearing like regular clothes, like an old school rifle like 1965 or some shit like that, moose hunting.


And there he is, a Johnny Cash. In Newfoundland, there he is, look, that that's the photo, that's the one that's the one we need.


That's the worky, the walkie talkie he called a C C in Tennessee a moose on the on the horizon.


I see the moose shoot it in its eyes. Johnny motherfucking don't try it. I'm a Newfoundland shout out to man.


I would have loved to meet that guy. Is that a good taga. No, that's just a gungun. That's a moose head right there on. A lot of moose in Newfoundland, look at that walkie talkie thing.


He was a baller with that thing back then is that's like a refrigerator with an antenna was set.


A walkie is Johnny. Look at them. Hold it onto it. That's crazy. They probably use them to locate game. Column in column, and you've got to pretend that you're a female moose and want some dick is how you come and got to go.


Oh. Yeah, so it sounds like and they start today, slow walk or they run a day, they slow walk, they don't trust you. Yeah, they come slowly and they make their way around. Usually circle. You could call Amazon and it could take hours before it comes to.


Like you could call Moose and then it gets dark and you're in your tent, you hear something stomping around the tent, it's a moose looking for pussy. And then you got to kill it. Well, you really can't you can't see it in the dark, in the woods, it's fucking dark. Like you can't really take an ethical shot unless the moon's out. And most places have laws against that. OK, you know, I'll shoot at night or.


Hands up. Hands up. That's how they sound like, that's how bad they want, Dick. Oh, what's the ethical shot versus unethical shot?


You want to have a shot that you know for certain you're going to hit the animal in the vitals and it's going to die.


If you just take a shot at an animal that's really far away, you can barely see it.


That's an unethical shot. You might hit it, but you might not. But you really want is an animal that's like standing still broad side. So you want it to stand because if it's to animal standing straight at you, you have to hit it right here.


You have a very small like maybe a softball size right now, like a cantaloupe, a cantaloupe sized area that you can hit where the heart is.


But if you have a rifle, if you have a rifle, it opens up a realm of possibilities. I'll take a frontal shot with a rifle. But if an animal standing broad side, then you have a very large area that you can hit.


I thought of at the shot is when the animal makes eye contact. Do it, please. I fucking hate this life as bitches and moan. And by the time I get there and the most is always there, I'm depressed.


I hate my job back.


And when they, when they walk in they make noises like, whoa, well that's what the moose does. The male moose. The bull moose. He had to make a move sounds mix, tape sound. It's one of the few animals that, like anybody, can make the noise. You can't make a noise. Elk noises are hard. Really? Yeah. Yeah.


When is it? I'm good at noise, like specific noises. I can sometimes. Sometimes I'll get them. Have you ever heard of No. Michael Winslow? But every now and then there's a noise and I got it.


He's the only guy that's made a career out of noises. Like if you say like a noise guy like Michael Winslow as comedians. He's the known noise guy.


Pablo a little bit. OK, little bit. Yeah. But either way, he's not doing OK.


So. You've heard an Alex scream, no, pull up a video of an elk scream, it sounds like some Lord of the Rings shit, it doesn't even sound like a real animal when you hear them in real life. It's like gives you goose bumps. It's like, holy fuck. Like if you didn't know what was making this sound, you would think there were demons in the woods. OK, if you heard them scream like this, when they scream, it's the bulls, the screaming to let the cows know what's up.


And they let the other bulls know to step the fuck back. Back off. Yes.


For my. But. OK, I know this is tough.


Yeah, you going to do that one, you need a tube. You need like a Phelps call.


Yeah, Phelps and Sensitizer during hosannas and you'll get drunk. You'll be like Kitty Dukakis.


You don't want that shit. This video says they're actually making two sounds at once, which is real enough for us to do a whistle with a roar now, OK.


Oh, all right.


Good luck. And then the females have a different sound, though. It will look like come come get some pussy.


But no, I can't do the noise of the female either.


Female's like a few musical ago.


It's a weird sort of noise point is they make crazy noises, you know how the fuck we got out of this?


And Johnny Cash, Johnny Cash in Newfoundland, Newfoundland, Johnny Cash, Moose, the noises sound bought. And he said, I'm making the app. You say you're going to get the app going with the Joe Rogan Moose soundboards and you don't get it so expensive.


I don't think there's a lot of value in a sound board with animal noises sometimes.


Just got to do it for the love of the game. And I never. How about turning a profit every time you take some ale's for fun? I wish it was easy to make an app.


I've looked into having apps made. It's fucking complicated. They have made an app or had an app made.


No, I haven't.


I haven't had one mate. It's complicated. You got to I mean, I guess you get a I guess some people I'm think about having a game mate.


Really? Yeah. Just on road roadblocks. Oh no.


My kids are addicted to that fucking just a game mate based on the comedy special loosely.


Oh it's like all the subjects that you talk about in the comedy special. I'm not sure about all, but maybe finding one angle of it and stretching that out. The arrest story. The arrest story, maybe.


Yeah, something like that. And having a advantage that could work.


Jamie told me that it was Grand Theft Auto. They have like places you can go there. You watch a comedy show, right? Wasn't that. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.


I don't I haven't played it since they've expanded it in the last two years. That game came like ten years ago now. Yeah. Pretty crazy.


You know, the one in New York they had the Laugh Factory that was in Times Square was on the game and Katt Williams was on there.


And I think Patrice and you could just go in and watch them stand up or or Patrice was on a radio, but Patrice was definitely on there. Yeah. You could just go in there. Yeah. And watched him perform.


I think J.B. Smoove was on the radio to grant that vatos. Yeah, look at this. Yeah, it's cat. Yeah.


That is really crazy. That is crazy.


Look at this. So this is really interesting. Oh, wow. Well, in this 10 year old graphics, too.


Yeah. Like if they did this today. Oh, that's hilarious. Like they even mimic is the way he walks.


If I did, because this captured him. But look, it's a socially distanced crowd. They didn't you know, it's probably complicated in terms of animation to fill the crowd up.


That's while that's a shitty animation, though. Yeah, I think they had a TV or something, you could just sit and let go and this might have been like a show on it or something like how strange.


Split Sides Comedy Club. Yeah, but the animation they have now, there's a new video that's out now that's got the new Unreal Engine and we played it on here, it doesn't even look like a video game.


The like when people walk, little specks of dust kick up from their feet touching the dirt. What game?


It's it's a it was basically like a it was just a concept, but they kind of show like a Tomb Raider.


Watch this. Look at this. You can look at the screen if you want this face forward right here. Look at this.


This is shows you with all the pixels are. But this is what it looks like.


I mean, what the fuck to fight? How crazy is that? How crazy is that? That looks so amazing. Unreal.


Engine three. Is that what it is? Five five. Now, look at that.


Yeah, this is fucking crazy.


So if they did that and did like you do in stand up, they could literally get it to the point where it looks like you doing stand up now. Like look like her movements, a little odd, right? It's good they call that the uncanny valley, the difference between reality and like, obvious bullshit. It's like it gets real close to reality to it makes you feel weird watching it because your brain is going to mime watching bullshit, or is this a real person?


God damn, that's amazing.


Like, look at the graphics is says and I dove heavy into gaming when when quarantine started Teja it was I play a lot of NBA 2k.


I play and I play more than I've played in a long time because it was just nouse. I had no sleep schedule planned for 12 hours straight sometimes and just locked in like a crazy person because it was, it was escape's escapism.


Like I, I have a real problem with video games. We have a whole video game room back there, like a limited LAN room. I don't even go in there anymore.


I just stay away from it like like I'm an alcoholic and it's a bar.


I can't go in there. We tell them, Jamie, we're we're playing hours everyday to the point Jamie was telling me I had a problem. He would leave him alone. I'm not playing anymore. Where are you going? Get back, you bitch.


You take off and go forever. It was bad, right? It was bad. Like hours and hours. Every day we would get done with the podcast. I couldn't wait to go play. I like I can write.


Everybody can run right over there, booted up, get online, start talking shit. And we were talking crazy shit to each other. Come on bitch. And just like killing each other like hours and hours and hours.


But I would leave, I would play quake quake champions. My hands would be sweaty.


I would feel like like I'm nervous. I'd leave, I'd be driving home and like I don't feel good, I feel bad.


Like I physically was feeling bad. And then I started like sleeping bad. I was thinking, I'm putting my body through all this crazy stress. Like when you're playing and you're locked onto that screen and it's like this heavy, intense combat and your hands are sweating and like you're so adrenaline, Jack, that when you get out of there, it's almost like you're drunk. Are you like you you just got off a drug or you drank too much coffee or something.


You feel terrible.


Yet as soon as can put you in a I don't play call of duty or anything, I play a little GTA, but that's a different and it took was just really I was locked in and I was doing a lot of research.


I started researching how to, you know, upgrade your character. There's a bad system where, you know, if your point guard, you get certain badges like, oh, you know, the dimer and that makes you able to pass better. So all these other specific attributes you can you can upgrade. How do you upgrade? Do you have to pay?


You can you can pay. You can or you could play and get the experience and then you have to keep on good points.


You get better, you actually get better. But then it takes a while if you're not great at the game. So I found out that there is a service where people just will play the game and and you can they'll just upgrade your character.


I've heard about that for those role playing games is just gigantic multiplayer games where you you'll hire people and they have like sweat shops where people just play your game constantly and then play the game, upgrade your character.


Yeah, because I was trying to upgrade the character. It was taken too long and it was in and I just knew, I knew there was a better way. And if somebody told me you don't have to do that, you can just pay some eighty bucks and they'll do it over a week. And I pay somebody. Oh yeah. This is much better.


And so you pay this guy and then you came back with refreshed skills.


Character was on point. Yeah. Character was up because the thing is there's the park on NBA 2k and so that's kind of open world.


Other people have their characters and so it's the park is like you're playing against other folk.


You're planning as other folks, they have their own outfits. And so you can see what everybody's great at is real. You know, it's a real social thing going on.


OK, everybody's here at 95 ninety.


You can can you hear them talk shit.


I don't want to hear anybody I could, but I don't really like talking about that because it's too is too. What is this guy doing here, Jimmy?


I was trying to hear the guy talking and trying to show the video of the park so you could just you of it. But it's not it's in the middle of this guy's video. Oh, wow. So, yeah, that's the part that's different, three on, three games to to oh, once you do, you have to wait in line and then you get some time.


Yes. So you add all those little circles out of weight and spots so you can either play randomly or you could come through. I meet up. That's why I'll meet up with people. Don't quarante me and my cousin. And you go to the park. Yeah. Let's go to Park seven.


We team up and we play. I guess peeps graphics are amazing.


I think this is actually live some of the plan that they have.


2K league. Yes. Now, like most of the real teams have their own team like this. They have standings and whatnot for every vote. And this is what they're showing on ESPN now. What my real sports. But this is close.


Wow. Yeah.


Sometimes you end up playing against one of those people in a in a random game. Oh, that process in is way deflated like they had to do.


I even had the same system as them because how they do it now, it's all consoles, right.


It's not in the computer.


There is the most players on PS4 and Xbox, but there is on PC and PC is where there's hackers.


I don't play on PC, but I watch videos of some PC YouTube and so sometimes they'll just have a player that is 40 feet tall.


And he said, is this one guy trying to take his name and his his his videos is him watching hacker videos. And it'll be somebody this their arms are going across the whole part. A hacker can just kind of change the dynamic of the entire park because I guess.


Yeah, you know, it's not as secure as the Xbox serve.


Yeah. Oh, yeah.


Solaria seems like a spider. Yeah. Oh my gosh. That's so funny. That is so funny. Oh, my God.


Of course PC people do that. Of course that's the same with Quake.


That was always a problem. Guys that have aming bots and they could just shoot you every time you showed up, anywhere you would get hit like they never missed.


So you you just couldn't beat them.


It's it's a different fucking, you know, a game you hear overcooked. No overcook is a co-op game where it's you work in a kitchen and it's just you putting together different meals. You and you and the person are going against two people and you all have to put together the most burgers and serve them. This is oh, I do know this game.


My fucking wife and my kids play this stupid game. Don't they get it taped up? The real hyped up.


It's what are you dressed for?


It's like you're playing pizza, making something about it that it hits a different part of the brain where you get hyped and it really shows who people are under pressure.


And it is and it's intense. They start yelling at each other, get the tomatoes.


Because I was telling my cousin Özal, my cousin Percelay, why does this game get me more hype than being in a war game and shooting people and getting shot at?


Because violence has kind of been, you know, we desensitized to a video game, violence, at least it's not this, but, you know, being in a kitchen is kind of almost close to real life.


And so messing up in the kitchen, it does seem to you, I don't know, I played it once.


I was like, this is stupid as fuck. I don't care what happens with this pizza.


Was your team who was on your team? I don't remember one of my daughters. Cee Cee Cee, leadership is important in this game.


I got you covered. Tested it. Six oh, thanks. So we're good to go.


All right. We'll find out what's up. And also, we've got to test for you the current test to find out if it's in your system and also an antibody test. OK, see if it used to be all right.


If you you might have kicked it. A lot of people kicked in. They didn't even know. It's really weird. We'll see to see what what direction means sometimes.


Yes. I started taking a good amount of take.


Item, I take some zinc, that's good, some vitamin B is good and. Adderall is a vitamin. No thanks, though. It feels like maybe the best vitamin No.


D is very important. D real important. Yeah, especially. Whoa, hey, hey, you know Yamagishi yeah, jackass get I had no idea, I just be in my house with stuff, you know, I bring some of this stuff.


How are you feeling without doing stand up? Is that weird? You out?


No. You know, dropping a special. Made it kind of weird just because there's a lot of movement that's usually associated with a release, you know, I'm going to do TV usually you in New York and L.A., you probably pop up at the comedy club a couple of times that week.


And so that was that was kind of a very weird for Phil and to have a big drop and then and then that.


And I think that's what kind of let me throw in a little jam on my roof was like, I need it. I like it to feel too weird. I got to have some type of little gathering, you know what I mean?


But, yeah, I've been I've been getting my outlet has been music as far as this being able to hang out and, you know, crack jokes and be creative. And I've been seeing it. There's drive through shows happen. I think about doing some drive through, some driving screenings.


Crash has been doing a lot of that. Yeah. Yeah. He did one with Miss Pat and Jaysus Trejo. It looked like fun man there on stage and they had 700 cars. That's like they put it, instead of like 700 people in the audience had 700 cars and there's got a video of it. It's pretty bad ass when the people are applauding at the end, they're honking their horns and flashing their lights. And he said it's like like UFO landing.


It's wild. It's all these headlights, 700 cars at all stage at once.


No, no.


I mean, they did sets. I mean, they did it like a comedy show. OK, yeah. Because that's the thing that I wonder about as a performer, that grilling and trying to ride the wave.


You know what I mean?


I believe that most people outside look at it like, man, this is wild.


That looks like a lot of fun. He said it was great. He loved it and he said the fans were going nuts, but he did some shows. He did one show in Oklahoma and there was supposed to socially distant.


It was supposed to be one hundred and twenty people in the audience. It was three hundred and forty seven people. They stuffed him into the place and he was like, I don't feel safe in the air.


Like, what the fuck are they doing? Like what did they do. No one had masks on, like ten people had masks on and this is them at the end.


So this is like real social distancing right now as long as they're all tested. And look at that.


Look at the all the crowds, like all the other cars, they had fireworks, births.


And this is Bert's idea. All his idea drive in movie theaters are making a comeback. Now, there was there's a movie that's out now. This is fucking horror movie that's supposed to be real good.


I figure it's like a one word name about a haunted house or some shit.


It looks fun, but they releasing it July 3rd in drive in movie theaters and then July 10th on demand. So, like, they're doing everything now, like basically movies have to come out on your Apple TV or Amazon or whatever, which I love.


I don't want to go to the movies, but I want the movies to stay open. Yeah, I want to.


Yeah I maybe I do at. Just yet, putting a special out and is kind of reignited. I want to I want to get in front of a crowd again and and just talk some shit.


He's going to do stand up in Ghana. Yeah, they speak a lot of English there.


Yeah. Yes. Fieldings. Wow. It's going to be it's going to be a great trip.


It was, you know, my first traveling I went to the whole situation, kind of had me feeling stuck, even though I could have been making moves or doing, you know, slightly in March and April.


I could have been doing stuff. But I kind of because of media and just I just kind of felt trapped in the crib, even though there was still options. And so towards the end of May. My sister lives in Phoenix and I go visit them and stay in Phoenix and just get prepped for the trip was so because I hadn't used my book bag in months and just all the stuff that came with traveling when I found my book bag, it felt like, you know, a warrior picking up his sword.


But it was like, wow, I, I teared up like, get my bag because I hadn't it. Oh yeah. I used to go to shit and do shit and pick my bag up, made me emotional and then be in there at their place and you know, I live alone. So it's a family of four, two teenagers. So it was nice to be in a house with structure.


They, you know, they work from home now, but, you know, kids go to school. So it was it was nice because I would go to bed sometimes at eight in the morning just because I had nothing. It was, you know, going to bed at eight, waking up at weird's and waking up at midnight.


Sometimes I it was the life of a comedian, had a crazy schedule. So it was just nice to be in a sit like, whoa, whoa. This is a function in how oh, this is what, you know, structured normalcy is. It was and it was really helpful for me. I needed it just being just being around him after that time and hanging with my nephew and niece. And it was it was really necessary. It makes you appreciate like normal.


Like one of the things about the lockdown, it makes me appreciate like meals, like sitting down, having meals with my family. If we didn't we didn't go to any restaurants at all for like three months. Right.


And then, you know, it makes you appreciate like like it made me appreciate having food because in the beginning I was thinking, like, what if we run out of food? Like, what do we do? Like, I have a gun and I have bullets and I know how to hunt and I know where some deer are in my neighborhood. I've been keeping an eye on them like no bullshit just in case. Just in case it gets weird.


Just you ain't got no vegetables in the garden. You straight to the deer. Well, if I was between vegetables and deer and you can't live that long on a small garden. Yeah. You can live for months on a deer. I could shoot one deer and I'll eat that fucker for three or four months. Wow. But if you have like four tomato plants and like some kale, you got some celery. Good luck. You got like three salads out of that shit.


I know a few people that they bought guns when it was first starting to go down.


They just a lot of people buy guns. Yeah. A lot of people came to me and asked, like, how do you get one? What do I have to do?


Like, there were asking people that like were negative about guns before. I have a buddy of mine. His wife was like, you're never getting a gun. We're never having a gun in this house. It's like, OK, fine, the lockdown happened. She goes, you got to get a gun immediately. Right away. He called me up laughing. She told me I have to get a gun in my car. I people change their minds.


They change their minds. You know, it's real danger. You know, when shit was getting real weird and this is before the riots and the looting. This is this was just during the lockdown. People started getting nervous about food. We started seeing people have fistfights over toilet paper like, whoa, people are losing their shit. The toilet paper situation was really shocking to see because I just had I had lots of wipes anyways, just in general, I just had lots of wipes on that.


Yeah, and you're going to be OK if you have a wash cloth and some water, you can wipe your ass. It's not that big a deal.


You need food. That's what you need.


I mean, you could clean a wash cloth. It's not that as long as you have water to have water and soap when you're good, you don't really need toilet paper. You're going to be OK. You need food. Yeah. Yeah.


I mean, you don't want to put that shit on a washcloth really though unless it gets dicey.


You do what you gotta do, what you gotta do when it's time to go.


Number two and the apocalypse come for, you know, 20, 20, 20, 20, without a doubt.


The weirdest year ever, right. In my adulthood, yeah, my whole life, there's no no time ever weirder yet a global.


The global pandemic. You know, I was. My girlfriend lives in Hong Kong and we met out there over the holiday, and so she was over here.


Hong Kong is going through some shit right now. Hong Kong is going through some shit. But she had the early she had the early window on covid.


So she was heading back there at the beginning of February. And. She was looking for Max while we were in New York, is it and is February. Second, third, she's looking for masks. Why do you need a mask to go back as to why are you going to go back there?


And so I remove your face time, Sheba, work with a mask on this like, you know, February 15th, 16th, that zone.


And I would look at her like, that's crazy.


Look at me. Look at ya. And nobody's at work. That's insane.


What? You just you just sitting there with a mask on all the time.


Wow. What is that like there.


I know. I would find out. Well, did you know that normal life now.


I was really oblivious thinking, oh, that's going to that's over there. I got an early look at this shit. It was just like, oh damn, that sucks you shit.


I was really telling her that you should escape there and come here and Hong Kong safe for now.


You said wait it out over here.


So back to look back at. I know. Come to America. We all get that shit over like it's in Hong Kong, man. It's insane now. And enthrone crazy covid jam session.


Who knows. And then being worried about it being where anyone had a full on meltdown.


No real.


I walked up to it.


It just it is what is it. A house party with.


I sit down in a jam session and I woke up keyboardists like a toilet. Yeah.


Looking at the drummer like keep everybody alive. What we need is a test that you can just like a real quick saliva test sense of style.


Yeah, but just everybody walked in. Lick that thing. OK, you're good. OK, you're good. OK, good.


Oh you're not good at like know who's clean. Let everybody in. Yeah. I mean if we did that it would change everything. If they had some sort of a test like a real easy saliva test just like it.


And you know, we could wipe this shit out in a week.


The test now is all right. But I mean.


Oh, no, it's easy now. Yeah. Yeah, it used to be like that. These go deep in your nostrils, like way up into your sinus sinus cavity. But now it's just the inside of your nose. It's nothing, no discomfort at all. It's like a little cutup. It just goes inside the nose. They swab it around a little bit for like ten seconds. They dipping into some sort of a solution. They send it off and you'll know tomorrow.


And then the antibody test that you'll do, this is the FDA approved antibody test they take. You just squeeze your finger like that. They take they put a little prick on the tip of your finger. A little blood comes out, they put it in a thing.


And, you know, in ten minutes, OK, it's easy. I'm sure you're fine. I'm looking at you right now.


I feel good. I'm good at this. Trust me.


Let me see you. Good. I think you're good.


I'm good. Have you been right?


Do you. Right. Right. Do you like sit down. Right. Or stand up or do you just like have ideas and work them out on stage. A little bit of both, yeah, I'll write some and then just have some some ideas. Here's here's my here's my covid game show idea is you get four people, line them up, put mascara. And is it's a game show caller who said that?


Everybody at Mascha, you know, who said that, and then my other one is bad joke, you got to get these out of the system before you hit.


And now the you know, everybody's wearing masks. The the bank robbers got it right robber on his mask, who even spent a lot of time alone.


This is strange.


You know, folks, covid is crazy.


What is this obsession with becoming a game show host that you have in your your special?


Is that it? Obsessive. It's just me. I've done it. Yeah, don't do it. Is that obsession is this is this kind of, you know, just the career path? Yeah.


That happens. And I've been offered a lot of game shows and I say not yet.


They come with a large chapter, yet they haven't made it undeniable for me on the game show side yet.


If I was in the same position I was when I took Fear Factor, I'd take it again because it changed my life, changed my life, gave me freedom like real freedom.


But it's job.


There's a big difference between doing that and doing standup. When you do standup, you're having fun. When you're doing Fear Factor, sometimes you're having fun, but it's a job you're working.


It was a great job. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, that's thankful.


I think on the game show side, I really just got to put my energy into who said that the Kovik game show would have.


Steve Harvey retires from Family Feud. That's an easy one. I would do Family Feud.


I would do family. It's an easy one now.


It's an easy one.


Survey says, yeah, I remember back when Richard Dawkins you in the airport and just people asking you random shit, good morning.


Good, good. And then they just, you know, what about it? Drew Carey got prices. Right? That's an easy one. It looks easy.


I don't think it's just I don't think it's for me. I enjoy some of them, but just me and what I think I as a regular gig, I got to be the one creating.


Good thing about the Drew Carey said that Drew Carey seems like he's making money.


He's stacking money like in no one even knows about it.


Pat Sajak. Well, Fortune's been on for my entire life, right.


But Pat Sajak is not a comic. What do you do before Wheel of Fortune? He didn't do anything. He was born on the set.


He grew up there. He's been doing that forever. He's not a comic, though. Maybe maybe he was at one point in time maybe.


I don't think so, though. He's not a comic. Have you ever heard of Pat Sajak is a former weatherman and talk show host.


Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. So he hit the jackpot, but who else what are the comics have done game shows.


Uh, Howie Mandel, Howie. He's done a gang of them. Right. He had that one deal or no deal. Hit more than one, right, and he did that was the other no, that was the other day. I was thinking of something else. A deal or no deal was a winner.


Like, why do they ever stop that show? I think they might well not live now. I think they were sold like they were touring it, I think. I don't know if it's I mean, it might move like CNBC instead of primetime TV still being produced all the time, like Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Still on TV. Hmmm.


See, I don't think I've quite soldier on who said that. So let's really dive into the concept for people where people wear masks.


So somebody says something.


I would like it if one of them was covid positive. One of them covid positive. Yeah. Why. Just for the fun of it. Just for the fourth estate that season three when people get bored. Yeah.


Season three, season three, Art covid. But and then once somebody says something. But it's not much movement. Right. And you to. Yeah it is. Yes. Yeah.


You said that 30 second episodes, you shoot 500 of them a day.


It's on YouTube. Yeah. It's not a bad idea.


Who said that it was him. Who said that? Well, the team was it said, Jesus Christ, how high did you get before you came here?


Now, this is this is me CBD. It's the Kloof CBD. These are good, right?


Very smooth. Good for you.


Yeah, I'm addicted to this. That actually is not a bad idea for a show.


As long as they didn't like, you could guess. And especially because, like they said, things that were like closely related to what they did, like, maybe you can ask them what they did like and then figure out who would say what.


I think keeping it simple and quick for these short attention spans, and then maybe that's somebody that becomes a legend on the show and they just can't it's somebody it may be a script.


It may be is real, but it's somebody who said that a boom and it's like, whoa, that was fast.


They just miss episodes over intros longer than episode intro's fits in episode four seconds.


Now let me know. Let me know how this sells. I'm going to. Yeah. Take it out. I won't take it. I'm going to take it out onto, you know, the video conferencing circuit just different to some meetings.


I think they're filming things now because Philippe had a thing on his Instagram where he said he's he's on a new show or it might be a movie. And they're they're going to the set on Monday. And he's all excited. He was talking about the protocols and all the different shit they have to do for covid, but they're fucking filming.


But what I was saying is like, if you're filming, you have to go home at the end of the day, what have you go home, you go out and you catch it, and then you come back to the set, like, how often are they testing you?


I don't I don't I don't know if someone gets it.


Like, if you're the star and you get it, what do they do? They lock the show down for two weeks and then come back. I have to start kids.


I think it's a tough thing. I heard they say it goes by no on the call sheet. So if the star gets it, then they cough and everybody else's mouth and then everybody card immunity.


And then the show goes on because, you know, Mom would say that I think when this was happening or starting, Tyler Perry's production team was saying that they're going to like lock the whole team down in quarantine together in like one hotel. And then they all go to the set. So nobody leaves, right? Yeah. Yeah, everybody is tested.


Nobody Tyler Perry can do that, though, because he's got his own right. He's got his own studio. He's his own boss. He's got it locked up. He doesn't have to deal with any bullshit, is all non-union.


He's he's like he's got a complete system like I heard that do it quick, quicker than normal to they do it in a couple of weeks as opposed to like a month or two.


Mm. Yeah, he's got an island, Tyler parents kind of fucking island. Yeah, that's next level. You don't get Ireland? No, no, no, I'm not interested in Ireland, really know you should use because you want to wrench. I don't want an island.


You might want to because you remember I think last time I was here, a time before I was talking about getting a Tesla and you said, don't get it, Tesla. Now you got to tell ya.


But that was and that's true. But I got that because Elon talked me into it. He was willing to do my show. I said, all right, man, I'll I'll buy a Tesla because he did my show. But then once I got it, I was like, he's right.


It's dope. You have one dude. They're the craziest cars out. Like every other car seems dumb. It's so fast. It's so fast. It doesn't even make sense. Like it defies physics. It just goes general.


It takes off like and then you got this giant screen for the navigation and then it drives itself. It does. Driving itself apart. It's amazing. Everything's amazing about it. You can play video games on it.


It got that far thing to it's got the real thing. If you hit the the blinkers that the fart, it's a solid car.


What kind of car you drive. I got to infinity is not mine. I started when I was Rinn from this guy and I was starting to shop for a car and then the pandemic. So did I. Just just held on to this. I held on sort of, you know, because I didn't know if I was going to add to escape. I probably drove it once or twice the entire month of April.


But you have a lot of money like why wouldn't you just get a car? I was shopping for cars within Bandini, OK? Yes, I was like shopping. And so you're renting early March to see if you like it?


No, I was just rent it because I will read through this app. Torero is like Airbnb. And then I started this written directly from this guy instead because less fees for him, you know what I mean? And it was just we just text and he bring a car.


It was smooth. And I was starting to look for a car because it wasn't making sense to keep Britain from it.


And then, you know, covid covid, I was shopping for a car and then a virus came and said, stop.


The only thing I saw a car van. You saw Karvonen commercials put what's Karvan caravanners? I will bring the car to you and we will socially they deliver socially dist. car to the.


But they're Bindon in the car how they buy a car and I don't know, they are driving so they have to touch it.


Maybe they wear a hazmat suit. I don't know how it is. Oh they drop it off on a truck.


Yeah we all are Venna.


I said wow they have eleven thousand eight hundred and fifty vehicles and they just drop it off on a flatbed and they don't even touch it.


There's no way to buy a car. Wow.


Have it or pick it up at a vending machine. You seem like a dude who would like a fun car.


You need something fun your life. Dodge Dart. Dodge Dart on 20 tools, they still doing that Miami, as in Miami, and they had these like like a Caprice classic on Giant, I saw BMW seven series on these giant fucking wheels dealing with the 27 inch wheels.


That is the it's like a wagon you driving around in an old covered wagon.


My you got to have solid parking skills for that. Are you going scuffed the rims on it. So you got parking. Good.


You got to be careful with your parallel parking game is I've just given up and gone around the block again sometimes on certain sites where I thought about just going to some type of school, just a specialized, just a parking, just a parallel parking intensive course.


Get a car that does it for you like. Yeah, Lexus. There's a certain Lexus, the sedan that you just press a button, it'll parallel park.


I know they know that there's some that'll do it. But you want to be able to because it's not. I can't it's sometimes we're about to nail it and then other times it's just it's practice.


Think about when you first started doing standup, probably weren't as good as you are now, you got to practice. Yeah, just just go somewhere with his cars, start parking lot, bounce out of it.


Just take a day. Yeah.


Saturday is Park Day Park parking all day with a full tank of gas.


Try it on busy streets. That's the real thing is the progressive park. When the people behind you. Yeah. They give you room but you got to kind of block out that noise.


Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of noise, how have the fighters liked being in the situation now?


I have some. Some love it. Some love it.


Yeah. I think some missed the crowd but some love it because it's first of all it's real quiet. No distractions. You don't you don't have the energy people screaming at you. You can just focus on the fight. And it's a lot like just being in a gym. Yeah. It's not like sparring, you know, so you could you could look at it that way. I like it as a comedy.


I'm not like I was just just talking to Louis about Louis C.K. about this. It was like, I don't know if it's better. I kind of like it. I don't miss the crowd in some ways, but I kind of like no crowd because you can focus.


Yes, they're different. They're very they're different things.


Like one of them is insane. Like if you go to a Connor McGregor fight and it's in a packed T-Mobile arena and Sinead O'Connor screaming, singing and the fucking green mist is on the air and everything, it's wild is a spectacle.


But there's something about the epic center where it's just me and Daniel Cormier and John Anick and fucking Bruce Buffer screaming to nobody. There's nobody in the arena. And then the fighters walk out. It's weird.


And then when they're hitting each other, man, you hear fucking everything.


You hear every every shot to the ribs. You hear the you hear breathing heavy. You hear wincing, you hear you hear all that shit.


You hear you hear them talk shit to each other. It's it's very different. It's very different.


There's something stunning about someone getting really fucked up where there's no crowd noise like Francis and Ganu, who's the scariest person on the planet Earth. He knocked out George Rosen strike in like 20 seconds. And Rosen strikes also a big, scary dude.


You know, Frances's fuck, he's terrifying. And all you can do is connect on people, right?


So he boom, boom, boom and roses struggles out cold and there's no sound. It's just him walking off Rosenzweig's strikes out cold.


And we're sitting there going, holy shit, this is why it's like there's no one there. There's no scream of the crowd. It's just the violence of it all.


The explosion is so stunning. It's all it's stunning.


It's weird. I wonder, what if you're going to take a L? I wonder what is better for the psyche to probably to not have that cheer because then it's like a regular street fight. It is like so away that you don't get to hear twenty thousand people cheering your potential. As long as you stay offline for a couple of weeks, you just get off to it.


That's the fact that people go on people's social media that fighters to taunt them after they lose a fight.


You are you going to go square up?


You just got you got knocked out. Yeah. By a pro.


Why are you is it feel like a weird move to dig in. Oh, it's a bitch move.


It's a bitch move for sure. But it's a real common bitch move. It's super. It's one hundred percent guaranteed.


It's going to happen as you get flatlined. Someone's going to come along and go back. They're going to have that thing from Friday with Chris Tucker. You got knocked the fuck out. Yeah, they're going to have that.


That's going to come up. Chris Tucker, an ice cube. You're going to have people taunt you like some guys are fine with it, like Ben Astron, who got knocked out by George Masvidal fastest knockout in history.


It was just a one year anniversary of it a couple of days ago. And he was like, oh, great.


Like he was he was he said, imagine your most embarrassing moment. And they celebrate it with a one year anniversary, you know, slowmo.


Yeah, but that wasn't too it was a packed audience. And everybody went, wow. And it lasted a long time, the screams and the cheers, and he was out for a long time to. I don't know if that would be better if there was no one there. It would be stunning if there was. I think I like it better with no one there, man. I don't know.


I love both of them, but I might like it.


A hair better would no crowd is it I want to have is too small of a sample size to to to decide. But have you seen a change in fighting styles at all or is it something different in a performance.


No, I don't think so. Maybe they've been maybe have been a little wilder, but I just think it's also like fighters didn't get to fight for months.


Right. So everybody was kind of chomping at the bit. And also there's a lot of eyes on them. So everybody realized that this is the only game in town. There's no other sport. There's no other sports right now that are running except for the UFC and the races in the Marmaris.


And the floor is lava flow.


It flow as lava flow is like shout out to Rutledge Wood.


I don't know of any other sports are coming back any time soon.


The NBA is soon. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I heard they're working on? They're working on a thing where there's going to be an app on your phone and you get to you'll be able to make noise and that noise will be piped into the arena. So like each individual person, like you'll have a seat. Yeah. And your seat will be make noise. Oh.


Now, how you feel about the most sound board I did. You see big. Now we have a launch pad for big NBA bubble season boom, that is a profitable I have to feel that people are going to organize shit or they're going to, like, chant and say things, you know, and have fun and like, you know, like people will there'll be things where people get together and try to figure out, like maybe sing a song, like you have everybody together all singing a song of the exact same time.




You could do, you know, we we don't want the virus.


We the we wish we could be there, but this is all right in the matter of and got basketball's back NBA playoff game.


Imagine there's no heaven.


Amazing. Never. No.


Well, listen, one of the things that's come out of this is like a lot of people have gotten real creative with shit.


You know, they've found ways to make things interesting. They've found ways to have fun. They found ways to be.


I like when people are confronted with real adversity and challenges because you get to see how the human imagination works.


See creativity.


Yeah, it just, you know, for me, it helped me kind of help me think about the other people in my life and who I work with and just how to.


Highlight and produce for them better, since I was able to sit oh, I was think about my Uncle Kelvin. He he used to deal at casinos in Chicago area from mid to late 90s, early, probably 10 years or so. And so he's a character. And so all we should do and I had had a gambling problem for a little bit. Did you.


Yeah. What kind of sports and casino? A lot of sports.


When you say gambling problem. Like what? What made it a problem?


What made it a problem is that it was really taken up a lot of time. And I never got into real trouble just because I was, you know, constantly working. I had great weeks. I had bad weeks.


But it was just if you're, you know, bad on stuff every other day or whatever, then that means you kind of until and not able to function most of the time.


And this when you were drinking a lot to this is when I was drinking lot.


So I was drinking and gambling and gambling and then getting up at midnight.


No, that was that, that's haunting sleeves get regular sleep schedules, you know, drunk stuff, you know, 4:00 or 5:00 a.m.. But how did you kick it?


Kick the gambling habit, the gambling? I had to just really take a look at what I was doing and then what how was serving me and look at the other stuff that I was doing. And that's also gambling, investing. And so realizing I had that outlet, it just wasn't in sports or, you know, throwing some dice.


But you can gamble, you know, invested in a company else. You can gamble by getting a build and you can gamble by, you know, trying to produce your own show out of pocket, all of these other things.


That's a game more. Yes. Or to get more of an investor.


It's an invest. But if it you know, investments go bus companies, you know, people to put, you know, millions of dollars, billions into companies that Quebec that.


And so that was invested and people they were really hyped about it and wrote big checks.


And so it was realizing that and just realizing that, you know, when I when I was, you know, looking at a game take up time because I would get really into it and research the history with teams and look at all these other match ups.


And so I said I could spend that time and mental energy on something else. It's more productive.


Hmm. Well, that's a wise way of looking at it.


But a lot of people don't when they get sucked into something, it's very hard to get like we were just talking about video games, but my addiction to video games, I just had to go cold turkey. I just had to step away and go, I can't fucking do this anymore. And just I figured it out and I stopped. But that's not easy to do sometimes. Like sometimes look, whatever it is about gambling, like whatever switches that pops off in your brain, that gives you that dopamine charge.


Yeah, it's I mean, there's certain bets that are just super pleasurable. If you if you bet the total in NBA games. You bet. Over and you there live.


The total is say the total what. You know what, the two teams will score 200 points and you're rooting for every score everybody.


Everybody uses. Yeah. Yeah. Free throws you like. Yeah. Free throws soda had you know a couple grand on a game and you're rooting for both teams life.


And I know what's wrong with this guy. Any total, any total score. Yeah. Hockey, whatever soccer.


You if the goals are over three and you ruin for both team yield curve is, you know two to two or four to nothing of like.


That's exciting. Yeah. The overbred is superhit Jamie Gamble, right.


Yeah. Yeah. I get more fights too. Right. Yeah sure. I would gamble on that. It's more fun to gamble on the overunder on rounds two. Don't hang on.


Hang on. Right, right, right, right. Yeah. Hold on.


I'm trying to think of some memorable fights.


I had some money I think I had I have Rumball Johnson against Teixeira.


Oh, that was a brutal knockout I had. Yeah. I have to run over everybody except Kamia for whatever reason. For me he's got his number but Rumball hits anybody. They go night night.


He's coming back, hit his board so he's coming back. My comeback is a heavyweight. Oh wow.


He's huge now. I mean fucking huge like 250. Gigantic.


I'll tell you to my craziest gambling story.


I talk about it on stage, but this is the most this is where it was. It was really bonkers. So I started I was betting with a bookie. But I'll use a site, you know, but it was you know, if I won the guy with sin, sin, money, he said a bunch of money and 500 out of money audit or, you know, I would just send PayPal or whatever. And it was it was like that.


But the thing was that since you could just do it made it is like sending a text. You just don't. And a site is so it does it it's not the same as holding the cash and bed. And we really have to think about is typed in real quick. And so you're doing, you know, these large bets.


So after a while my tolerance was I need it more. And I was on a hot streak. And so I asked my friend for another bookie with a higher limit because the limit on my one was to grant. And so he filed this. He knew this guy to 5000 a game. And so it's intense, but then is 5000 on the honor? So is that you not putting up five?


He's talking about putting up five with my physical his time. I probably would, but because he's five and five here and I had a hot streak. I was betting on a lot of hockey at this time. And I was getting I had a hot streak of high so much of my gambling buddies. Bozeman as critics are calling me hockey Hannibal because I was betting on Vegas, Golden Knights were doing really well. That was their first season and Black Hawks were hitting some stuff.


So I was doing parlay. So if you parlay a five thousand dollar bet with, you know, with the total support it did, that five is, you know, 12, 15 well. So I had a good run. And after a week I was up 100000 cash. And I love so and but I had never put in any money. So just I got this one hundred thousand from time. And so I meet up with the guy, Chicago and and I mean I pull up next to his car and he and he hit me 100 grand cash in a brown paper bag.


Whoa. And did you do like the Demi Moore thing?


We throw the money on the bed and roll around naked.


No, I put it on the table and kind of just really looked at. I thought I kept it free. I consider it. I kept the cash. I just put it on the table. I what? The audience just. Yeah.


Oh, how how big is one hundred thousand dollars and all this is not crazy.


It's a lot but it's not you know it's not mass. It's one, it's a couple. It's a few stacks. Yeah. And it was, it was so because there was no real effort to get that money, I didn't value it like that. And so in my head the gambles wasn't that happy despite it. What I saw that. You know what. Let's get them for Honeyball and the next week proceeded to go down to. Go down 90 grand, I doubt it.


So he stars hit me up, hey, I get that 90.


And so I was to who at the time I didn't want to give him the cash. I just want he we had an agreement to do pay for some stuff. But he of course, it wasn't for anyone to pay for low 90s PayPal, but, you know, to me was two, three. But I was in a zone of I don't want to I can't deal with given his cash back.


So and so he's asking for I am paper and I PayPal him the 90 grand.


And then. He says that she hit back, so now he flat footed, he wants the Internet hot potato with 90000 lb.


And and, yes, so it was really it was intense because I chose this and he hit me up a we see you going to be in Brooklyn. Oh no.


And so I try to I puff up and just kind of say, you don't want to show up to Brooklyn Dog.


Make sure I try to talk some shit to a man where you don't come to Brooklyn, you're going to get touched.


I said that. Yes, it's texted of that thing. They don't come to Brooklyn.


And you said you're going to get touched. I texted. I just trying to I was out of my mind. I was on tilt. Man was I was being ridiculous because I wanted I didn't want to Welch, but I just didn't want to pay like that. And so eventually you tried to pay. We sent it back and he eventually just took it.


But yeah, that was eventually he took, what, the 90 degree of paper, you know, that probably was a heat, you know. Yeah, that's bad for the taxes. That's bad for taxes or whatever.


And so I actually called him this week. So yo, sorry man.


I was buggin back says yo. Oh, how was poor form on my part.


My bad. I don't gamble no more. Sorry to put you through that and bring it on you.


And it wasn't but it was that's, that was the wild is one man. Well it just had me in, in a in a real irrationalism my friend. Delete all that. My friend, my friend Dana White, the president of the UFC, he lost a million in a day.


Yeah. A million playing. Well, it's on blackjack. Yeah. Playing blackjack. Million. A million dollars. He won seven million in a day seven. So he's doing crazy shit. Wow. Yeah.


That's and he's very wealthy. So like the only way he's getting a charge is if he does some crazy shit. Yeah. That's, that's man that's awesome.


Is it.


Since it's so hands sweaty I get hands sweaty talking about that like oh God. Because I don't ever want to be that guy but I could be that guy. Like if I got into gambling I, I was gambling for a while on the UFC before I decided it probably wasn't a good look.


This is like the early early 2000s, but the early 2000s it was stealing money. Right, because there was a bunch of guys coming in like Anderson Silva. And I would look at the odds with Anderson Silva over Chris Leave. And I'm like, are you out of your fucking mind?


This is one hundred percent fight. Like, you bet the house on the Brazilian Jesus Christ. There was a few of those.


And I did it for a while and then I stopped. But my business partner in on it, he has gambled all the time. So I would just sit down with him before the fights. And so I was like, this way my conscience is clear, but we were like eighty five.


Eighty seven percent. Yeah, I guess. Why do you need money. Because I know all these fighters. Yeah I know the fights. Like there's fights where a guy would be like slightly favored. I'm like slightly like this is one hundred percent fight or there's a guy that was the underdog that might. This is totally lopsided. This is and still to this day, sometimes they get it wrong. Still to this day, I'll look at someone like I'm like, how is that guy?


The underdog didn't make any sense. And then the fight will be like a domination by the guy who was the underdog. And I'm like, OK, I should have bet that. Yeah, but I don't bet on them.


But my business partner at on it man we made oh he made you know, I made it for him but we called a lot, I mean literally high.


Eighty percent. It was just stealing money day.


Yeah. Yeah. That's barely gambling.


It's kind of gambling but that's like I mean let's get gambling. Fights are crazy. Anything can happen but some shit you know.


Right. When you know. Yes. Yeah. I remember hitting you up for tips sometimes before I was like, hey would you like on to fuck you over.


Did any of them ever turn bad? I think most of them was solid. Most of them was solid. When I when I hit you up.


So my uncle so hit me. Oh, we me and my uncle to do a gambling back society.


So to have some focus, he's he has it from the deal of respect of any gamblers to but he's seen it's a it's a fascinating perspective just to watch from that side what you're facilitating, people losing lots of money and you get what, ten, fifteen dollars an hour and uses Canada the messenger you're helping. And so his stories are wild man. And so sitting in quarantine.


Oh, yeah, we should do that gambling podcast. I did. And that's easy to do. And we can do it remotely for now.


And and then we we try one out and it was it was a good feeling. Oh yeah. This is a good this is a dope show is fun to do. And we can, you know, get other gamblers on it and just really talk about it and just of course not encourage people. I think I got to have some tough talk about it. This is not an endorsement. The gamble doesn't start. We don't gamble. You might lose.


Don't spend your money, don't spend your Zoome college money, don't spend your kids teleconferencing, lecture fun.


But yeah, I mean, it's really what it was, the crazies, when he said, like, what's the nuttiest gambles that he saw?


He's just seeing people lose, you know, a few hundred thousand in a in a in a quick setting, you know, just in here, or he's seen people really fall apart and and people really I was fortunate, but some people really lose their whole lives just awesome on chance, on some cards, on on some.


And they go crazy to lose and they can't believe it. They just want to jump out of a fucking building. That's why when you go to Vegas, all the windows and the casinos, they don't open wide up. Right. They don't want you just jump off because there would be people jumping off every couple of days.


And you think all the when Vegas is wide open, all the hundreds of thousands and millions of people coming in there and how many of them are just blowing insane chunks of cash. They don't pay for those places on the buffet. You know, that's not what pays for those big buildings. It's people gamble, losing, losing.


I watched this documentary on Amazon that something on it's gambling on an edge. Some he's a car accountant guy. And it's just, you know, is this Moseley's is him getting kicked out of casino, the hidden camera footage because he's come up to him? Hey, we don't want your accent. How weird is that?


You can't count cards. You can't be good at what you're doing now. I mean, that's never navvies. Hey, you can say you could play any game here except for blackjack. They kick people out. The people get beat up, they kick Dana out of the palms for winning.


And, you know, so he pulled the UFC from the Palms. It was like, fuck you all because they didn't know it was him.


Because they knew they knew the math. Yeah. They used to have the fights there and then they kicked him out of there.


The secret gambling anymore or what you were find if I lost. But as soon as you win, they'll just put the kibosh on you.


Yeah, they have to take this. I mean, the casino business, they were one of the first companies to start asking for like four days into the lockdown.


They started at Yavin with Be My Father's for years and years and world shut down for a few days. And you get your hand out.


You know, there's a lot of businesses needed money constantly coming in. They can't just exist.


Yeah, like the way they're set up. They need that. And no one ever thought it was going to there was going to be something that shut everything down with no money, was coming in for months and months.


That's never happened.


You can't make a business model based on something that's never happened before. So everybody thought the money was going to keep flowing in.


And it's this was actually the first year that I kind of planned out the entire year before I got had a full on.


OK, January, I was supposed to do the porn awards, but I ended up not doing it for the avian awards. I think so. Yeah, I going have last minute.


They price a point with the February all star weekend.


March was south by southwest April. The Fords wanted thing. May was some, June was I wanna go to the Olympics. And then I had you know, I wanted to have one major event each month.


That was the first time I planned out the year before just to have experiences. Yeah.


Experiences and then kind of build the tour around, you know, go to the Olympics, also do some shows in Korea and around Japan a little bit and and is like, nope.


That was like when did you film Miami Nights. Miami Nights. We filmed August of last year.


Oh wow. Yeah. Why were you hold on to it so long. It was just.


Just getting stuff right and and, yeah, we filmed it twice, actually, I filmed it in February of last year and it didn't like how it came out. And then I did it again, both out of pocket. Oh, wow. Yeah, it was. But it was the right decision to do it again.


How many shows did your film. To sell these to you before I do for now. Yeah, I did too before and I did it in Denver. The first show, some lady heckled. Oh my God, that bit's dead now. I'm fucked now. I have to get it right on. The second show was a lot of pressure with the label.


One bit, though, if you if you repeat it bit. Yeah, it was a big bit. Big bit. It was a bit.


That led up to another bit too. There's a lot to it. They they piled on together. Yeah. And the way she did it it was like, oh come on, prove it. Like it wasn't even a good heckle. Yeah. It was like give me some time dummy. I know what I'm doing here.


Er but then I did four and when I did four I did four for triggered and I did it out of pocket like Netflix had a certain amount budgeted out, but I said I want to do four. And the idea was that if I did four when I went on stage the first one it was like it was a regular show, like I had no nerves. I didn't feel like, oh my God, I've got to get this right. If I get this right, my second show will be loose.


I didn't feel that at all. I just went out. What's up? It was just totally normal.


Which one did you use? Most of the footage from four. I don't remember on triggered. I think it was probably the second night, but on strange times, my last one, a lot of it was the first show. So I was just so pumped up right out of the gate. I was so excited and I was ready.


Like I, I, I've done specials before, which I didn't plan enough, but now I want to do a special. I treat it like, like I'm training like I want to be like, like I'm running a marathon, like I put those miles. And so when I get on to that stage the night of the show, everything's oiled up, everything's just greased and smooth and just every words in place.


And the experience of doing stand up is so deeply ingrained in me. It's just a nightly thing every night to three shows.


Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. And so when I'm done like I want Saturday night last show, like I am fucking done with this material. I don't want to hear these jokes anymore. I did it. I'm done.


Nice break. Yeah, it. It. So, yeah, we filmed in August, I did a screening in November, the beginning of November, because I didn't want to send it to folks first to shop. I rather I had an event for I wanted to kind of create an experience around it versus somebody kind of watching it all dry in the office. So I threw a party, you know, had some we meant company, we drinks, you know, food truck.


We made a mix tape just for the food truck and had I wanted to have this whole thing. And so then.


Get some offers, but it just didn't just didn't feel great about them and just once, you know, I had an offer in the beginning of March and then I was sitting on it for a little bit. And then in May, I mean, I agreed and then I decided I'd rather drop it on my own because the world is crumbling.


So I need to mix it up. So I'd rather, you know, give it a shot because if I put it up there. The benefit would have been, oh, I'm sorry, I'm not sure in a fall and Ill fill up the torigoe crazy because it's up there, but then that went away. It is like, well, now it doesn't it doesn't look as great as. So I'd rather gamble on my own and just see what's up.


So I decided to put it on YouTube and see what's up. Yeah, I think it's a good move to put things on YouTube.


I mean, it worked out real great for Andrew Schultz. Mark Norman worked a real great for him. He loves it. Yeah. He's got more than two million views like a couple of weeks.


Yeah, he's been it's been a month of some change for him because I mean, I was tracking his just to see one thing too. It I could take that shit down.


Right. Right. I could read it actually some bits that I might put that Thailand bit back in there. But looking at.


So just the freedom to be able to. You know what, this is the other addition back home and Nabby. Oh, I can take this down. Here it is with only the French redub and I have some French voiceover person do the bits and that's that's going to be up for this week. And so it just the just let me be creative and try more stuff and and it can still go to one of the places afterwards is just right now I'm doing what I want with it and then.


And you can do the self. Yeah. You could edit it all yourself. You don't need anybody. Yeah. I think that's going to be a lot of comics going to look at that in terms of accessibility. Right now, Netflix has the market cornered, but Amazon is sneaking in. Gaffigan had a real good experience at Apple, at Amazon, and he said that they got real excited about it. They had a lot of a lot of use and they were very excited.


It was the most viewed our they had in a long period of time. So he said they're going to do more. But the thing about doing something on YouTube is everyone can see it, the whole world and you see it on your phone instant like that anytime you want.


You're on a bus, you're on a train driving in your car. You listen to it instantly.


Yeah, people shared a link more so that they could share the other link. Yeah. And they share a link.


And you never have to worry about if you have the app, everybody is fucking you take it and even if you don't have it, your browser opens up and. Right.


Yeah. Yeah. So I'm a we worked hard on it man. It's one just because of the situation with the false arrest is, is really is super personal because I kind of had to keep living that story every time I told it and then live it in the edit.


And it's just a funny situation too. You're drunk and this guy is arresting you for going back into a bar. I didn't.


So it wasn't that bar. I hadn't been in that bar. You went to a different I went to the bar after we spoke. I went to the bar, but he was still he was upset about what I said. So he follows me and set a bar.


But then, you know, they they made they cut it on their body cam footage. They cut it made me look, he really left his post and followed me to be all bullshit.


So, yeah, we probably he wound up getting fired. I don't know. I don't think I think he's still on the force. So now that's abuse. Yeah, that's the thing, it's a lot of it's a lot of emotion and a lot of ego based policing on the on the super petty side, you know, whereas obviously the you know, the issues on the extreme with the killings, those are terrible. But then there's a lot of people that are ruining lives with petty arrests.


Yeah, somebody's got to go out of his work or something or some some. You don't get mad because they are looking at the wrong way. Yeah. And then people are going so.


It's a lot. Are you a cop to be able to handle somebody talking to those sits at home drunk? Your cop in Miami used to be used to my father talking to drunks. So you without you putting the cuffs on.


And if you can't, you shouldn't be accosted. And you're supposed to be better than us.


Yes. Because this is less of you used to be better and you should have the mental fortitude and not like freak out because somebody says you don't like and you have extreme responsibility.


You have a gun on your hip in front of everybody.


Like it's not like whether or not, I don't know, you have a gun or you might have a gun. No, you definitely have a gun. It's right there.


And you're allowed to shoot people. You're allowed to it's part of your job. You're trained to shoot people. It's part of your job.


You have to be elevated. You have to be above normal discourse.


You have to be able to handle all kinds of shit. And the reality is that's not the case with most people that are police officers.


Yeah, man, even that cop I was I was walking away from him, but I was just talking and shit because he just followed me into a bar and saw I'm walking away.


And so that it was really, you know.


I say is absolutely instigated that situation, but it wasn't an arrestable and the cost I had to pay for that is is pretty high as far as, you know, my public shit on there just for a drug, not just for target some shit. And I'm on TMZ. I lost some corporate gig because of that, because they just saw it. And then, oh, you got arrested. This is why the gig, it was a decent paying.


You know, it was a it was a hockey Hannibal type of gig in that race.


So it was it was it was a rough it was a rough little time. And that after that.


So to finally kind of get the peace out, get the special out, even just putting it out Friday was like a huge weight, like none of the other specials because it was the other sports was kind of done on a two year clock, too. And they were in this one, failed it twice out of pocket. So super as so many other elements that made it really heavy. And that's close with that, too. Yeah. Had to close.


And that's why I threw a covert party. I'm sorry.




I'm sorry about the party.


I just I just needed to blow off some steam and those mushrooms let you know if you fucked up too.


Oh man. They will let you know they'll drag you. They would drag you to the darkest part of your imagination. Yeah.


Man was oh set and setting is everything super for us as well.


They say silent darkness is the way to go. Said is said at a coffee party. Yeah.


Hi I'm mushrooms thinking you killed everybody. Think think may go to some funerals. You looking at people Vivan out here. What did I do. This is actually the best.


Oh wait. This is me. I did this. Oh man. I don't envy cops. I don't, I would not want that job. It is a very hard job. But I you know, I'm, I'm an optimistic person generally. But I don't know what's going to come out on the other end of all this shit.


This is get in those kill cliffs, huh? Yeah.


My legit I don't know what's going to come out on the on the other end of this hearing.


Sam Harris now. Oh that's right. I forgot about that.


For people who don't know Hannibal and I did a podcast where we got hammered and then I had a podcast afterwards with Sam Harris. And I think it was Josh Zepps. Yeah. Who's an Australian TV presenter now.


And you guys got into it about he was pulling up stats on police brutality or violence with cops.


And I was like, yes, I was nodding, as I should of left after that podcast. I have to have to wee. But I just stuck around.


Oh, you're drunk. You're drunk.


I did call him a human PowerPoint presentation. That was something I think it was his being so fada. And in that tone he was and. Yeah, yeah, yeah.


Well it's a touchy subject in all of history. Cops killing people. That's the touchy subject you killed by the people that are supposed to protect you, especially unjustly, you know.


I mean, nothing else would have made that the these protests, the way they went down like that George Floyd video to see it so obvious where there's no ifs, ands or buts, that is what it is. It is a cop who's supposed to protect someone who's killing somebody in front of everybody. And it's being filmed by a 17 year old girl that doesn't have him.


It doesn't get any heavier. And that's why the reaction was the way it is. It was like a powder keg. It's like everything was building up. There had always been that. There was always been this this insane tension. And then you see that and it's just like, wow. And we're still dealing with it.


Still dealing with it months later is. Is super is super wow, you know, I was when I was driving to Arizona. I stopped at a gas station to do somebody a zoom interview thing, I just kind of I set up the tripod and my phone on on the hood of the car. And then I was hyped just it was like hyped to not be sitting in my computer. And I was just, you know, I look at me, I'm outside.


And but because I have been I have been off of social media, I didn't even know the joys. Floyd thing happened until I got into I was driving later and my friend told me she liked toys. Floyd in Minneapolis. And so. This had been, I think had been 48 hours or something at this point, but I was on some interview like, hey, what's going on?


I'm outside. I'm outside. Oh, my God. He's completely oblivious. He's just happy to be traveling.


Is it? And that knowing what I was maybe 45 minutes away from, knowing what was happening in the world. And so they told you.


They didn't tell me, but they probably were wondering why I was acting.


So did you have that jacket on? I did not.


And I have oh, I had some dope. I had some shades. It was a real I was genuinely joyful just being on the road and having that feeling again. And then I found out many hours later it was like, oh. Probably look kind of kind of crazy, right? They're a little jaded. Yeah, yeah, but. It's I mean, how often you off social media like that is a normal thing for you? It was.


Well, it was the beginning of covid I had to kind of that's when I, I just got into that zone and may well turn this off. Like you just said, if you want to get some stuff up the Senate side of your folks, have them post it up and then it's better when I didn't zone anyway because it's more I operating like a quarterback than it is to be in it, you know?


Hey, let's do this. This day.


This day, it is day to day and then I'm able to just do whatever I want, you know? Right. Just finished writing up the treatment for who said that versus the tweets.


You know, I did a series when he said that the longest running joke is called Gags of Callbacks.


It's a three hour bike and we had to keep it. We've been at it. I get it.


I get it. So you did the interview and then you found out afterwards, found out after, did you want to call them back? Go ahead. No, no, I.


It was and then I get to my sister's house and it's on the TV and it was this is heavy. Man is is superheavy.


But it's really just it's the training and. It just needs to be a high level of training. I talked to JoCo Willink, he's a former Navy SEAL and a commander, and he said that they should be training 20 percent of their time so that they train for a very short amount of time at the beginning of their career and then they don't train anymore. He said they should be training 20 percent of their time on the force while they're there. They should be going over how to defuse situations.


They should be going over how to keep people safe. What's your objective? What are you trying to do when you come up to a drive? If you're emotional of your partner's emotional, you've got to see that and step and you defuse that situation and you step in and go, hey, Mike, let me let me talk to this guy. And then you come in and you be a nice guy. Figure out a way. If you see someone abusing someone, you got to step in, step in, relieve him and you take over and figure out a way to do it where the guy doesn't have to lose face.


But you can keep everybody safe and figure out a way where they can train these people with shit like this doesn't happen. And it's we're in this time where these these fucking people, they go to work every day wondering if they're going to die. They go to work every day pulling people over. They're all freaked out. You never know what day is going to be last. If you're a cop, you're seeing people get shot every fucking day.


I mean, I've I can't imagine to look at it from their perspective to be to look at it with the rosiest of rose colored glasses.


I can't imagine that you are. You're walking up on suicide victims, murder victims. You're walking up on robbery victims. You're constantly around violence and death and crime. They're all PTSD out. That's what I think. I think most cops have extreme PTSD and some of them can handle it. Some of them could just handle it. And there's a lot of them that are good people and then there's a lot of them that should never be fucking cops in the first place.


They should have been a more stringent process. That guy in the George Ford case, you know, they got into it when they worked together because. Right.


Yeah, because the cop was abusive. He was abusive to customers and George Floyd and him got into it because of that. So there was a personal element to it. I don't want that job. You don't want that job. I mean, fuck that job. But the people that get that job, we've got to figure out a way to make it safer for them, better for them, better training and safer for everybody else. And I don't know what the fucking solution is.


No one does. And that's why we're all in chaos. And the people running around defend the police. Like who? OK, do you know what's what that's like?


That's like New York City right now. Are people getting shot left and right? Did you see, like, the stats in New York City?


It's crazy, really. It's fucking crazy.


It was on the cover of the cover of the New York Post.


See if you can find that about the amount of shootings 41 people shot over the weekend, nine killed. Something crazy like that. Well, they said they've never had it like this. This is like since the eighties is the worst gun violence weekend they've had in the history of the police force.


They worry, but the police don't hate the mayor. The mayor wants the cops to stand down. Cops are quitting left and right. The cops don't feel like they're supported by the mayor. The mayor is like this super progressive, you know, really liberal guy who is just has no respect. The police officers have no respect for him and they're quitting. They don't want to do this. And then you've got people that don't think that they're in a place that's being policed.


And so they're just going wild. They don't think the cops are coming. They don't think anybody's going to stop them. So and then, you know, obviously with the covid and the lockdown, how many people are out of work? How many people are broke, how many people are just on tilt, just starving and not knowing where their fucking money is coming from and super tense, more damning.


So you can't defund the police. That's that's we don't want to live in Mad Max. We don't want to live in Mad Max. We want more funding for the police, better education for the police. And we all going to come to some sort of a fucking agreement.


Cops are us mandatory meditation for the police, mushrooms, mushrooms, mushrooms for all cops. They have to. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they are. The cops got to go to Joshua Tree. Mandatory mushroom training.


Yeah. I feel like that I feel like the mandatory mushrooms could help everybody, including politicians, mandatory mushrooms for politicians. I want to be in the room with, like the Governor Newsom of California. I want to be in the room when that guy eats five grams and I want to see how he freaks out. How do you handle it? We should all be able to watch you eat five grams. I want to know who you are when the devil comes knocking at your door.


The floor is lava. Did you find the cover? Yes, but it said tripled over the week compared to the year before. That's all it was comparing it to.


Well, just the numbers, though. What is that? It was something written one compared to twenty six hundred one people shot. Yeah. OK, I was wrong. I, i 40 hey, 101 people shot over a weekend. That's crazy. That's crazy. That is fucking crazy looking.


I mean, for New York, though, New York City is going to skyrocket as foreclosures let pistil perps walk free. Whoa.


Eighteen hundred people, I think, that have some sort of charge that haven't been fully charged because the courts are and, you know, can't lock lockdown chaos because of the chaos.


Whoa. A thousand people have been indicted with a gun possession charge with the cases are open and they're walking around the streets of New York City today. Wow.


Eight hundred more that have have been charged and not formally indicted yet.


And that's just in New York City.


Oh, my God, that's madness. Two thousand shooters running around New York.


Just think of that. You can't defund the police folks, all that that crazy progressive Marxist nonsense of defunding the police stop. You want to be safe. You want everybody to be safe. You just want the police to be way better. And what they're doing way better. And they're going to need funding for that seems counterintuitive, right, like if cops are abusive, they shouldn't get money, but that's it's not going to the cops needs to go to education and they need to figure out how to do it better.


What am I, a cop? Educator?


Fuck. Am I talking about you coming to me for cop advice? You fucked up. I'm a pothead in a cage fighting commentator.


You come to me for cop advice and it's going to be the fall. That's why I'm trying to get out of here and get out of here by November.


No matter who wins in November, it's going to be madness. Yeah, I want to just I want to I don't want to hear about no more, you know, versions of this.


The the we're not calling it urban music anymore. Aunt Jemima.


I think pancakes are racist. Let me just I mean, everything is this the changes? I don't know. Just the grandstanding part of it, I think.


And it's tough to gauge. I mean, most of it just, you know, they want their company to do well. So they. Right. They look at all, oh, this, let's do it.


And so and then the politicians are playing off it both ways. If some politicians that are playing off it, they're supporting that. And then some politicians like Trump, he's upset that the Washington Redskins and the Cleveland Indians are going to change their name. Now, what about the Redskins? Finally, they finally broke.


It looks like they're breaking. They're talking about Reagan, but what are they going to call themselves, like what's offensive? I mean, the Trump faces a lot of Trump faces.


Yeah, well, with the Washington spray tans, yeah, we're not the Redskins, but what are they going to call them? So do we know they haven't done any.


There's a bunch of names, but like doesn't like a lot of the professional soccer teams or football in the Premier League when they just could just be like the Washington FC like football club literally, and just want to just be the city team, you know, valuable.


Those those Redskins jerseys are going to make new ones with just the, you know, the news without Redskins on it now.


I know about the old Redskins jerseys are going to be so valuable they're not selling them anywhere. Now take them all off. Nike took it all off. Really? Yeah.


I mean, within the last couple of weeks, within the last couple of days, somebody's about to start making some. Wow. Let's see. What I just know I thought was crazy was NASCAR just remove the Confederate flag.


They just did it just recently. Last week, because of Bridget Jones, the bubble walls thing just recently removed, I didn't think it was still there.


That is why everybody's looking.


Let us do this real quick. Let's get us to get this stuff out of here.


That's the last go round. Yeah, it's interesting that so it's weird where this is all going to end because there's going to be an adjustment, right?


There's an overcorrection and then there's an adjustment and things come forward and back.


And, you know, we want to get to a place where people are just cool with each other and we're not there.


And I'll be on my farm and to, you know, directly directing films and just living off my.


Who said that to him?


I my gambling. I can't do they have stand up and gone. Have you checked on that?


They do. Yeah you do. And then in Nigeria, as I did some stand up in Nigeria, which is comedian Baskett mouth that hosted us over there and did some shows with him. Yeah, it was a lot of people perform in pidgin English.


Uh, so I wanted to show I went to I didn't know what was being said, but this guy is a solid performer, is delivering.


Sounds airtight, but I guess and I'm getting nothing.


And so you went and did your standup. Did they not understand?


You know, they understand English, but people that perform in pidgin. Oh, so they preferred you to perform pidgin.


And when you were just doing a regular English, they didn't it didn't work with them.


No, it worked. It just if if I performed in pidgin I would have what I did, but I did. It is just one of those things to where you know, they want to. Wow, what they want it, but you when you talk about outsider perspective on stuff and they, you know, oh, OK, he's talking about how he dealt with our traffic.


He dealt with. Yes. You saw this, you know, just here in America.


Come in and speak on Lagos, which is bonkers. It's four hours to get from the airport to the hotel. The traffic in Lagos is.


In say, and this is like one of those places where people don't pay attention to lights, lights, I mean, the the is so crazy on a highway that people sell stuff on the highway or fluck in six lainer is people. I walk in selling snacks. I think I bought what I buy banana chips or something. Just a snack on and.


Oh shit. Yeah, that's real Lagos traffic.


Oh for sure is if New York only had the BQE and that's it as kind of cars are parked sideways on the highway.


Yeah. They just gave up intense. Look at that. They have umbrellas.


It's it's an existential level of traffic. Well I guess this is it.


I'm here now four hours, four hours from airport to hotel.


And how far are you going?


Probably no. Traffic is 30, 40 minutes. Wow. It was.


Yeah, that is fucking insane, these images. Jamie, what do you what do you Google and so people can Google along with you.


Legos, Nigeria traffic.


This is what folks, this is insane. This people stand in the middle of the highway with umbrellas.


And not not a few people, a lot of people yell is, oh, my God, this is crazy. Oh, my God, it's everywhere. Yeah, yeah, and, you know, some stuff you take for granted over here. Emission standards that you just accepted? Yeah, yeah, it's not as kind of, uh, but I remember we were behind as a semi truck and it let off some seed into the sky that was so smoky.


Scottish, my crazy.


My my friend Babylon's said he said Captain Planet would have a fit with this just because the smoke was so crazy.


This video is what is this video titled?


I believe it's a forcades drone video and this is all water.


So these houses are in water. Just barely above the water on sticks. This is fucking crazy and everything is on fire. Look at that. Oh my God, this is madness. That is it, but it's amazing that so many people live there. And then, you know, this is just what they accept, people just get used to a certain way of living.


And for them, I mean, it's probably normal life for you or for us. We go there and work. What the fuck?


But once you're in the mix, the shit is dope. I had a great time and, you know, on to different spots.


What kind of food? What's the food like?


The food is great. So there's a lot of spice and stuff. But I've been to Ghana yet, so I'm excited about Ghana.


Yeah, Lagos's is is an intense spot that's in China has been. Investing and buying up a lot of they won't invest in all of Africa, kind of building infrastructure everywhere they say is, yeah, they're doing a lot in the Congo as well.


There's a lot of mineral rights and stuff they're taking there, a lot of precious elements and stuff, things that they use for cell phones and all kinds of stuff like that.


Yeah, I never been to any place like that, but I've been to Mexico City and I was stunned by the air quality there to Mexico City's madness when I took photos of it and I put it up on my Instagram. It looks like I'm flying into a fire and see if we can find that look like as I was flying and I was like, this is this does not even look real.


It looks like you you can barely see the buildings because it's just that's it.


Look at that. That's not a fire. That's my phone out the window. Crazy eyes and a smile. Yeah, all that smoke in the background, yeah, that's all just emissions. That's not a fire like you can see like a mile or two out and that's it. Everything else is just clouds, but it's just it's just exhausts.


Yeah. A lot of the big cities, the cities in India are the same issue. Bankert.


I remember I had an option and maybe take a seven or eight minute Ube or do a 15 20 minute walk from somewhere from my hotel in Bangkok and.


It's a walk, but when I get back to the hotel, I felt. Felt like I felt the pollution on my skin, it was my worst Walke decision and that image from Bangkok.




God damn, that's crazy. That is that's like you're in the middle of a raging forest fire, like you can't. Yeah, I remember this kid near me and I said I had to take a shower just from that wall, it was because he's sweating and it was it was next level.


When I was in Mexico City, I got a headache. I was like, I'm getting a headache just from the air and places at altitude.


Mexico's pretty high up there. And that was for the UFC fights, which was really crazy because they're like 8000 feet above sea level. So there's thin air and then bad air. It's a combination of both things.


Yeah, so that's right.


And yeah, they well, some of them like Fabrício over Doom. That was when he became Velasquez. He went up into the mountains and he trained actually higher than 8000 feet above sea level and he went up there way in advance so he can acclimate.


And he was in superb shape because that and then Cain, who's usually known for his cardio, actually gasped out the cane cane didn't know that he was training like that.


Cane couldn't go there early. He came out like two weeks out and that's not enough.


They say you're actually better off going there the day of than going there are two weeks of being two weeks before because two weeks before you're actually you're not going to acclimate. You're actually just going to be tired. You know, because your body's still trying to figure out what the fuck is going on, why is there no air? We're lucky, man. Oh, we're lucky in China is even worse in some cities, man. There was one city that I saw in China where there was so much pollution and this video that it looked like the sky, like it was nighttime and it was during the day and it was just coal just burning coal in the air, just particulates.


The air was like a dark gray.


It was crazy.


See, we find that it's like it's weird to look at because you imagine like if that was your mom living there or your daughter or your family, this is where you have to survive and you have to look up into that sky every day. It's like a like a Judge Dredd movie. You know, it's doom here.


I mean, I could yeah, I struggled just in Denver well out of shape. And I had a gig in Denver and was drinking a little bit. At one point, I started forgetting jokes. And I had smoked a drink before the show, but I was on, but I was blanking out and then another show, my breasts showed up.


I had to step off stage to go get my inhaler. I told Tony Joannides assessment, play something real quick. He starts scrambling and said, you know, you have asthma, you have asthma.


Oh, wow. Yeah, but I would don't fucking suck asthma at high altitudes without asthma.


High altitude in bad shape is is a terrible combination.


Have you found that shit from China in the middle of looking.


And I had to pee and I was about to go pee. Oh, I got distracted.


We could, we could wrap this up. We're almost at six o'clock and that's when we find out.


That's when we find out where you got to do.


I got to go. Do I have. I don't think so. Who said that? Put in your bed.


Send it to my Miami nights. My right now Miami. Nice jailable on YouTube.


Next time when you come back from Ghana, I need to know, you know what that was like when you talk.


Yeah, I'm back and I'm gonna write a book. Who have you ever thought about writing a book for this?


I have. I had a book deal in twenty thirteen. What happened? I realized that I would have to write a book.


I have to do this. It's a lot of work.


I have a lot of respect for people who have done it because that's a thing like if you're an author, like you've really done it, you really wrote a book. That's a big deal.


It's just, you know, I think it's like once you lock in on what you wanted to be and then just force yourself to sort of focus.


My friends have done it like Tom Poppo or Norten or Whitney. They say it's fucking brutally hard. It's a lot of work to extreme amount of effort. That they work with, I wonder. You know, I guess it's fine in a good editor, too, and just what the what the angle is. Just write down everything, right, you know, just kind of let it fly and then and then cut it down.


I had a book deal once the editors there were it was so annoying talking to them. They essentially wanted me to take my stand up at one point in time, just transcribe it. I was like, I'm not doing that.


And their idea of what it wanted to be or what they wanted it to be versus my idea. I just gave them the money back like I'm not doing a thing that was like more than 10 years ago. Yeah, that was before the podcast even to him.


Yes. So probably I would do it, actually, which was the supposed to do. People still hit me up about we we talked about doing a gig.


Was it Newfoundland or was it somewhere else, something crazy like that.


Well, it might have been a and one it was in Newfoundland. Or was it. It was a Nova Scotia. Somewhere weird, somewhere weird, somewhere Canadian, I'm still down for that. All right, let's do it when things get normally. Twenty one when I'm back from Ghana back next fall, the king of Ghana tour.


All right. Come see it in Nova Scotia.


Well, thank you, sir. Always a pleasure. Thank you. And your YouTube special is available right now. And check it out. And the king of Ghana will be released in December of twenty twenty one.


Good night, everybody. Stay tuned for who said that, who set that episode 200. Thank you, friends, for tuning in to the show and thank you to policy genius. If you'd want a little cash back in your pocket right now, see how much you can save by reshaping your home insurance rates at Policy Genius dot com. We're also brought to you by my all time favorite underwear. The only underwear I wear. I'm wearing them right now.


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