Welcome to today's episode of the Mind Set Mentor podcast, I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscriber and that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you want to get motivational text messages for me directly to your cell phone, text me right now, one five one two five eight zero nine three zero five. Once again, one five one two five eight zero nine three zero five. Today we're going to be talking about how to build a life that you love, a life that you don't want to escape from in a life that you are excited about.

Now, as you think about it, it seems obvious that every single person should want to build a life that they love. Right.

So many so many people, every single person with so many, every single person should be building a life that they absolutely love.

They don't want to try to escape from.

But if that's the case, why do so many people not love their lives?

Because if I look around in the people that I've coached, the people I talked to, it seems like most people are slightly content with their life and sometimes maybe even a little bit agitated with their lives.

And then some people kind of hate their lives.

But very rarely do I meet someone who's, like, absolutely in love with every aspect of their life.

And so I want to ask you before we dive in, do you love your life or do you love every single aspect of your life or are there certain pieces of your life or many pieces of your life be like, yeah, I don't.

I don't really like that, I don't really like that that that job that I have, that person in my life, I don't like any of that, because for me personally, I think that I should be. And I think that you should be building a life that I'm in love with in every single aspect. I think you should be building a life that you're in love with in every single aspect.

And there shouldn't be any pieces of your life, to be honest with you, that you don't love. And I don't know about you, but I want to be working towards building a life that I love every single day. Now, are there pieces that I still want to change around a little bit?

Absolutely.

But over the past 14 years, I feel like I've been pulling out the weeds, the things that I don't want in my life, and replanting flowers in places of all of those weeds. So if your life was a garden, you know, and you're looking at it, would you see more flowers in your life or would you see more weeds in your life?

If you see more weeds, what are you going to do to go through and actually start to pull them?

Because there's nobody else that can pull those weeds, whether that's the job that you have, the family, the people that you surround yourself with, the person you're in a relationship with, all of those things can either be flowers or weeds. And you need to go through and take an actual assessment and figure out exactly what it is that you want in your life and how you need to get each of those things as well.

And I'm going to say something.

I think that that that might kind of surprise a lot of people like waking up one day and having a life that you want in love is not going to happen.

A life that you actually love is built.

It's something that you have to put a lot of intention into.

It's built intentionally and it's built meticulously, like going through every single aspect of every single day and going, do I want to keep this here or do I want to get rid of it? A perfect life is built. It's not like you just wake up one day and go, Oh holy shit, this is perfect. I'm so glad that I somehow just absolutely landed somehow in this perfect life. No, you have to plan it. You have to plan it.

You have to check it. You have to check it every single week, check it every single day. And you have to execute on everything that you want in your life. Everything in your life, though, is changeable.

That's just beautiful. Because one of the things that really holds people back from building the life that they love is that they feel like they're stuck in the life that they have. And if you feel like you're stuck in your current life, then mentally it's going to seem really hard for you to build a life that you love. It's going to seem like it's near impossible. It's going to seem like, well, I guess I'm just not going to get it this life.

I guess I'm not going to get it this this round. And you've heard me talk about a friend of mine who was the number 30 employee in Facebook, and he was fired from Facebook a year before they went public and he missed out on about one hundred and eighty million dollars because of the fact that he was fired and he started to go into a depression.

And when he noticed he was going into a depression, he was there for a while. He started sitting around and going, and I don't I don't like being depressed anymore. I'm going to I'm going to figure out a way to be happy. And so what he did was he made a happiness list. Every single thing that makes him happy. It could have been music.

It could have been, you know, walking his dog. It could be certain food. It could be certain people could be conversations. It could be a movie.

He made a massive list of every single thing that makes him happy in what he did was every single morning he would look at that list and then he would look at the things that he had to do today.

And he would say, how can I bring as many of these things from this list into my day?

And the quote that I love, that he told me was that I will not leave my depression or my happiness left up to chance.

I'm going to be in control of it. Now, when you hear that and you start thinking of your own life, are you leaving your own life up to chance or you actually being extremely intentional about every single thing that you need?

What would it look like if you were to sit down and make a massive list of every single thing that you love, every single thing that makes you happy, every single thing that makes you feel better, whether that is music, whether it is, you know, playing with a puppy, whether it is just a certain food, certain restaurant, certain friends, certain cocktails you like, whatever.

It is a movie that you want to watch, listening to certain music going out and, you know, seeing a band play. What is it that that just makes you feel more alive? What is it that would seem like a piece of a life that you love. If you were to build a life that you love, what is a essential piece that you would want to make sure that you have? And you go through every single aspect of your life and you actually start to plan it.

So let's do it together. If you have a pen and paper, this would be a really good time to pull it out. Let's go through as many aspects of your life as we possibly can. Right. So let's let's bring the first thing in. Let's just let's just go hard from the very beginning. Your significant other right.

Is this someone that you actually do love or is is someone that you feel like maybe you're just, you know, making sure that you're not lonely anymore.

You know, to be honest with yourself, it's OK. You're the only one that's here that's talking to me and listening to this. Right. So be honest with yourself.

You know, are there maybe you do love them that maybe there's certain aspects of them in certain aspects of your relationship that you want to change.

OK, so what do we want to do? We take a A list and we make a list of everything that we love and then we make a list of needs to change. Right. Maybe that maybe the person needs to change, needs to be a completely different person, or maybe you and that person need to change a little bit in the way, show up to the relationship, maybe say, OK, yeah, I do love this person.

But to be honest with you, our communication sucks.

And what happens while I'll do something? She'll do something. And we don't say anything because our communication sucks. And it builds up and it builds up and it builds up. And then what happens? It just explodes and it explodes because none of us are willing to actually have a conversation in the time that we're supposed to have a conversation.

So, OK, what do I love about this person? What are the I love the adventure. I love how they're, you know, so goofy.

I love these things. OK, I want to deep in these things that I love and if I have a needs to changeless, I need to bring this up with them and actually start to figure out what we need to do together to change it.

Perfect. Now, we've at least got a little bit of a plan, don't we? Now we can start to build a relationship that we love. Great. Let's go into our friendships. Let's look at all of our friends. Who do you love? Who are the people that are there for you? What do you love about them? What are the ways that you want to show up to their relationship with them? Even deeper? Let's go deeper into it.

OK, now let's go into the needs to change list.

Well, you know, there is this one front that's always negative, I can try to change them, but I probably can't. So maybe what happens is I spend less time with them. OK, so you go through each person and you think about the relationship that you have with them and you start thinking to yourself, is this somebody that's going to be playing an integral part of my life 10 years from now and where I want to be 10 years from now?

Or is this someone who's actually kind of pulling me back into being my old self that I'm trying to grow away from? You know, is there certain aspects of this person or this relationship with them that I want to change or maybe just change it completely and spend less time with them and start spending time with maybe a new acquaintance that will pull me into the person that I want to be?

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All right, let's keep going.

What about your family, you know your relationship with your parents relationship. Obviously you can't change your parents, you can't change your brother and sister can't change of those people. What do you love about them? How can you deepen the certain aspects that you love about them? So do you spend more time in that aspect that you love with them?

And then on the other side, what are the things that you don't love that you do want to change? Oh, yeah. Well, I feel like this person and I feel like my dad's really surface level and he doesn't really go deep with me and he's not really an emotional guy and doesn't really open himself up.

Is there a way to crack him open and maybe start to have some real, actual, legitimate conversations? I can feel like I know this person right. You can go through every single relationship and start to ask yourself, what is it that I love about it?

What is it that needs to change? OK, all right. Let's go to the next aspect.

What about your job or your career? OK, what is it about your job or your career? Do you love your job or is it just something that you're doing to make money? Right. I understand that you can't just quit today a job that you hate, but.

It's kind of ridiculous to just think that you're going to be there forever, isn't it? Like, why would you just just automatically go? Yeah, well, I hate my job, but it's the way that I pay the bills. Right. OK, I understand that. But can you make a transition plan and say, OK, I can't leave today, but I can come up with a way to be gone and to be doing something different in 365 days?

OK, that makes me feel good.

OK, so let's let's come up with a need to need to change. What is it that I would like my job to look like.

What is it that I would like my career to look like.

Maybe I do like where I am, but maybe I don't like the position that I'm in. I want to actually get a promotion. OK, what do I need to do to change that? What do I need to do to get a promotion next 365 days and you start coming up with an actual plan to get you to where you want to go and your career in your job as well.

Perfect. Let's keep going, let's say that you have a business, OK, what do you love about your business? What do you hate about your business? One of the things that you want to change about your business, think about that.

What about the people that you work with, your employees, you know, are these employees that you just hired because you needed to put somebody in place of these people who you actually really want to see them grow and you want to spend more time with them. You know, you start to think about that and go, yeah, maybe I do have these people on my team that I'm not really 100 percent in love with.

They're not really the best person.

But I hired them a couple of years ago. And when you look at it, you're like, actually, this person could be producing way more.

If I had a better person in that position, maybe I should let this person go.

Maybe I should, you know, maybe I'm holding them back by keeping, you know, holding them back from a life they could have by keeping them in this position. Maybe I need to let them go. Right. So think about that.

What about the house that you have? Are you in love with your house? Maybe you are OK. Are there certain aspects of your house that you want to change? Yeah, there are certain aspects. I want to make changes. It's always too dirty. OK, well, that's something that we can work on. All right, so what do I need to do to change it to make sure the house isn't as dirty as it is? Maybe you don't love your house.

What is the house that you love? You know, how much would it cost to buy that house? Maybe don't have the money for it right now.

What do you need to do in order to figure out how to get that money? And what you do is you start going through every single aspect of your life and you make a plan. You just figure out what needs to be done.

What about the car you drive? Do you love the car you drive? Do you hate the car you drive? What do you need to do to figure out what is the car that you want? OK, so you got what it is. How much does it cost? You go test drive, that freaking thing so it gets you more excited about it and then you're more likely to work to try to get that thing. OK, great. That's the car that I want.

I know what it is. I know how much it's going to cost me. I know exactly how much the monthly payment is going to be if I were to put down X amount of dollars. OK, what do I need to do to get that money to drive that car? You know, it's not about just acquiring, but it's also thinking, you know, maybe I feel better about myself and I'm driving this and I show up better to where I'm going.

The car is a part of it.

What about your clothes are clothes that you don't like? Maybe like I should have been wearing clothes for the past ten years. I've bought clothes in a really long time. OK, well, styles change in the past ten years. Maybe you don't look as good as you thought you used to back in the day and you're like, I need to change this.

Let me change exactly the clothes that I'm wearing. What is it that you how much of that cost do you want to hire somebody to to teach you what to wear? And they go out and they go shopping with you and for you and help you build an actual wardrobe. We don't look like a schmo. Right? I don't know what it is, but figure out what it is that you want. What about your mindset? What are different aspects of your mindset that you're like, oh, man, you know what?

I talk negatively way too much myself, and he's not talking to myself. How can I come up? A plan to not talk is negative to myself. Right?

What do I love about the way that I talk to myself? Well, I build myself up. I'm a positive person. I'm more optimistic. Whatever it is, figure out what you love about the way that you talk to yourself, the way that your mindset is, and then figure out what you need to change.

What do you love? What do you need to change? What about your morning routine? What's your morning routine look like? Right. There's so many aspects of your life, every single aspect of your life.

You just go through with a fine tooth comb and you figure out what you like, what you don't like, and how can you make sure that you're building a life of just the things that you want?

You think about every single thing that you do on a daily basis from the moment you wake up.

To the moment you go to bed, how can I make sure that every single thing that I do is something that I love? You think about every single action that you take for the moment.

You wake up to moments, you go to bed.

How can I make sure that every single action that I take is something that I absolutely love to think about?

Every single person she come in contact with, every person that you talk to, every person faces you, every person calls you, every person who emails you, every person who text messages you. How can you make sure that every single person you come in contact with is not somebody that brings you down? Not some is negative, but somebody who you absolutely love, that wants the best for you and empowers you to be better. Perfect.

What about every thought that you think from the moment you wake up to the moment you go about it, what it requires is absolute full awareness.

And I know that some people listen to this. It's going to go in one ear and out the other, and you're not going to make a plan and you're just going to go, oh, yeah, well, this is a great episode.

On to the next one.

Instead of actually taking a plane and figure out what it is and realize that you can go through every single aspect of your day and start to make changes and everything that you do start to make change in every single thing that you have and realize that your life is not going to change right away.

It takes time to change. The person that you're with takes time to change the place that you live. It takes time to change the career that you have, the job that you have, the employees that you have, whatever it is, it takes time for change to happen.

But what if I told you that in 10 years, ten years from today, you will have a life that you absolutely love, like the perfect life?

Would that excite you if you're like ten years from today? I would have the perfect life that excites you, Hollywood?

Well, it's absolutely possible, but it requires you to step up to figure out what you love, what you don't love and start to work past it. What's crazy about is that some people. Like, if you really think about it, some people are more intentional about putting hard work into their jobs and many people hate those jobs.

So some people are putting hard work and showing up and getting shit done in a job that they absolutely hate, but they're not even doing that for their own frickin life. It blows my mind that some people take their jobs more seriously. They take their life. Right, so imagine if you and I are creating a business, we're going to go in as business partners, what are we going to do? We're going to create a business plan first. We're not just going to go, hey, we're just going to sell this product and see what happens.

No, we're going to come up with a business plan and figure out exactly, OK, what's the marketing look like? What's the sales look like? What's the shipping look like? What's this look like in the pictures and photography and all of that stuff?

We're going about the business plan, right?

Do you have you do you even have a life plan? Think about that for a second. That's the first thing. Now, if we're business partners, we're going to at least have quarterly reviews, aren't we? If you work for a business, you guys have quarterly reviews. And once you do so, do you have quarterly reviews in your life?

No, but what are you doing? Why don't you try to figure out a way to start come up with quarterly reviews, see if you're on track to hitting your goals the same way that if you're on a sales team, you're going to have quarterly reviews. What else are you going to have? Weekly meetings? See how today, how this week when you're going to look back and look forward, see what you're working for, see what's going on, and then what are you going to do?

Sometimes my team and I have a morning huddle every single morning. Every morning I talk to my team. Do you even have a morning huddle with yourself?

Or you just kind of seeing what happens if you're not fully satisfied your life, it might be because you've just not been intentional up and having quarterly meetings. You have no plan. You have no quarterly meetings, weekly meetings. You have no morning huddles. Of course, you're not where you want to be because you might not even know where you want to be at this point.

And it's some it's just it's just so crazy that some people take their job that they hate more serious than the life that they have in their life they're trying to build.

So what would happen if you took your life as serious and planned out your life as serious and as intricately as you do your business or the company you work for? Where would your life be in a year, five years, ten years down the road if you took your life that seriously?

And it's simple, it's not hard, but it takes time, you have to plan it out, figure out what you want, make a plan, you have to work for it. You're going to have to review it often and then you're going to have to adjust.

Things are not going to work out exactly the way that you want. It's going to take some time, but.

Isn't it worth it? If this is your life, shouldn't you be taking this more serious than anything else that exists because this is your life, this isn't anybody else's life, and the more that you take this seriously, the more it affects every single person you come in contact with. So if you want to build a life that you want, it doesn't you don't just wake up and it's given to you. It's something that's planned meticulously.

It's reviewed often. And it's going to require you to execute every single day.

But if you take the time you put in the work, I promise you you're going to wake up one day and go, holy crap, I love my life. And that's all that really matters.

So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share with someone you know and love. Please share it on your Instagram stories and tag minute Dale Jarobi ALJ are the only way that we grow is from you guys sharing it. So I greatly, greatly appreciate every single one of you that shares it. And I believe in the same way I leave you every single episode, make it your mission, make someone else's day better.

I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.