Welcome to today's episode of The Mind segment toward podcast, I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button since you never miss another episode. And if you want to watch these podcast episodes on YouTube, all you have to do is type my name Rob Dial or Obediah in your YouTube search and you'll be able to watch all of these videos and as well every other inspirational video that we put up on YouTube, which is three to four times a week.

Today, we're going to be talking about the standards that you set for yourself and how you get what you are willing to tolerate. And so today is Thursday, and I am joined by my best friend and business partner, Dean Devries, because this is the business edition of the mind set mentor. So, Dean, welcome to the show. Thanks, brother. It's great to be here. Of course, today we're going to be talking about the standards that people hold themselves to.

So let's go ahead and dive in. Let's talk about what a standard is before anything else. So what exactly is a standard that someone's holding themselves to?

Yeah, and in my opinion, the definition of a standard is really what you're willing to tolerate, right? What you're willing to accept and it's different than a goal or a goal is something that we want, something that we desire. It's like kind of like something that's maybe we haven't achieved it before. But the standard is actually the thing that we've held that has created our current results. And that's really what we're willing to tolerate.

Yeah, like when I think of of the standards that I used to hold myself to, if I think back to October 2010 when I was living inside of a one bedroom apartment apartment and lived off of pasta for literally two months, that was the only thing I eat. For two months, I was holding myself to a much lower standard than I am right now, and I will never allow myself to go back to those standards because those standards yielded results that I find unacceptable at this point.

But I wasn't holding myself the same standard that I am now. And so for a lot of people that are out there, they might be thinking, I don't love where I am, I don't love what my life looks like. I don't love my Bengochea, looks like my life, my career, my relationships. And what they have to realize is it ultimately comes down to them. It comes down to they haven't had standards specifically around those things and what they will and will not tolerate anymore.

Yeah, it's a good point. And you know, something I'll share about my story is, you know, the standards that when I was a brand new realtor. Yeah, I had a standard for myself and I didn't know how I was going to do it. But my standard for that first year in real estate was to make one hundred thousand dollars. That was my that was my the thing that I was like, I'm going to do at least this and, you know, coming from, you know, five, six years in a row where I made, you know, over one hundred thousand dollars.

That was just my that was my identity. That was my standard. And I even different industry, though, totally different industry. I didn't know how I was going to do it. In fact, I remember that I shared that goal with my mom and I was sharing it with a lot of people at the time because I really wanted to hold hold myself accountable. But I remember sharing it with my mom and she had been in real estate for 12, 13 years.

And she was like, hey, you know, that's kind of impossible in this market. And just to put it into perspective, like we're talking about two hundred thousand homes in the area that I started. So it wasn't like selling million dollar houses, but she was like, hey, you know, that is probably not going to happen.

And I was like, well, I am going to find a way because that's the standard that I'm going to hold for myself. And, you know, fast forward 12 months. I didn't make one hundred thousand. I made one hundred and thirty two thousand. And it was really because I did whatever I needed to do. I worked really hard, you know, held a really high standard for myself and the level of action that I took. And that's what created the result.

That really was what I was willing to tolerate.

Yeah. And that's that's important, too, because you also have to think about standards that other people tried to place on you. So you could have taken your mom's standards, which I love. Your mom was amazing, but she has standards for what she deemed acceptable and impossible in what was fully your standard seemed impossible to her.

You know, how many people are out there where they are actually living to other people's standards versus a standard that they actually want to set themselves up for? So like an example, I always think of, as I hear a lot of people that come from a poor background, like, I don't we didn't have a whole lot of money when I was a kid. But if I came from a poor background, a lot of people around me didn't have money, then I could go, well, that is just the standard of where I come from.

And I can accept that as my reality. And that is what I will continue to get. Or I can say I will no longer allow myself to be in this situation and I will work myself out of it.

Yeah, and so much of it, too, is like, you know, holding the high standard was obviously my my history. Right. But also I needed to surround myself. That's what you what you said was a really good point, because you have to surround yourself with the people that will hold you to a higher standard or so you know, let's dive into, like, you know, a couple of examples of like how standard show up and the different standards that really ultimately play out to create your reality.

You know, especially in business. Like I think about, you know, the first one that people think about is obviously income, you know, but also like. I think income and finances are totally different because income is what you bring in, finances are a little bit about like what you keep, you know, how much is in your bank account, you know, and and we all have that standard for our bank account once it gets to a certain amount or dips below a certain amount.

Like, all right, we got to build it right back up again.

Yeah. So I always call it, you know, one of my very first mentors called it a financial thermometer. Right. It's like what you're willing to accept is. So I the way I switched it was financial thermostat. The thermostat makes sense. So if you set your house to 70 degrees and it goes to 72, if it's too hot, something's going to click in and bring it back down to 70. Right. It's the air conditioning. If it gets too cold and it goes to 68, the heat's going to kick on.

It's going to pull it back to that. If you think of your bank account the exact same way, so many people listening to this right now know. I know because I've been in this situation. I talk to a lot of people who listen to us.

We've coached a lot of them as well, is they have had the exact same amount of money in their bank account for the past three, four or five, six, 10 years. No matter how much money they make, they still have the same amount. And I had that situation when when we first started in the marketing company, the sales company that we were in. It was funny because I made no money before I was to deliver pizza, before I worked for that company.

But then a year down the road, I was making over one hundred and fifty thousand dollars. But I had the exact same amount in my bank account because there was a standard of how much I would let myself have. And so, you know, sometimes people go like let's say someone's used to see in two thousand dollars in the bank account. Right. And then they get a bonus, they get a big sale, whatever it is, maybe they get their tax back taxes back.

Right.

And they get to three thousand dollars. They'll usually subconsciously make decisions to bring that back down to two thousand dollars, because that is their standard, they won't they don't realize that they're actually holding themselves back from making more. And from saving more excuse me, simply because of the fact that they are used to seeing not about now the exact opposite works as well, where if you think about a thousand dollars being in your bank account, what are used to two thousand?

What happens? You don't see your friends anymore. You stop going out to eat, you stop going on Amazon, you lock it down until that's back to 2000 and you're like, OK, I feel like I'm back to normal operations.

Right. Which is a standard. So maybe what they should do is look at their bank account every day and say this is no longer acceptable, this is no longer acceptable, this is no longer acceptable. The things I teach people is literally check your bank out every day and it makes it so much easier. Now, I checked mine. I know the exact dollar amount that's inside of my bank account right now, all of my finances. Why? Because I check it every single day and that's how you watch it grow is by you look at and go, yeah, you know, I deserve more and there's nothing wrong with that.

Yeah.

Yeah, I love that. Yeah. I mean, and something that's like not financial related is like what's the standard that you have for the relationships that you have. And you know, this is you know, we're going to talk about business. But you know, and also we talk about this. I feel like on every episode your business is a reflection of what is going on within you. So what's happening in your business is probably also happening outside of your business.

But, you know, when you think about, you know, the experience or the relationship that you have with your clients, the relationship you have with your customers, the relationship you have with your team members, your employees, the relationship that you have with your boss, you know, if you have a boss, you know, those those all have standards. And, you know, when if you're not wowed about the relationship that you have with any of those people, it's because of a standard that is less than what you're capable of.

But it's it's also what you're experiencing is the result of you tolerating that standard in the relationship. Yeah.

And then so for people outside of that, think of every other relationship as well. Think about your relationship with your spouse, your boyfriend, your girlfriend.

You know, are you are you do you want to have more communication in those relationships but you don't have it? Well, what standard are you holding to that? Do you have the standard of, hey, if something it's tough, we don't talk about it or do you have the standard of when things get tough, we're going to shut everything down, we're going to talk. Nothing else matters. What is the standard that you're holding yourself to and all of those relationships?

You know, do you have a standard of the exact same thing with your family, you know, your parents? If things get tough, do you guys just avoid the tough conversations or do you go, you know what? This is important. Our relationship is important. Our communication is important. Let's lock it down. Let's all talk. Right. So but what you're willing to hold yourself to what you're willing to tolerate is what you're going to get in those.

Yeah, yeah. And something that that I also want to bring in we kind of touch on a little bit earlier. But the standard so standard is as different than goals. Yeah. But also there's there's a standard with your relationship to goals. Yeah. So it's like, you know of a week goes by and you didn't hit your goal. What's your what's the standard that you have for yourself on how you respond to that. Yeah, I think that also, you know, starts to bring in other aspects of, you know, standards around, you know, maybe integrity.

Right. So like, you know, are you showing up on time? Are you you know, when you're when you say you're going to prospect for an hour, two hours, three hours a day, how how much what's your standard for integrity when it comes to keeping those commitments? And that's also that kind of goes along with the idea of the standard of the relationship that you have with your goals.

But then you've also got to think to yourself, do I have a relationship with my goals that I take my goals so seriously that if I don't hit my goal, I don't deserve to do these things, like I don't have any problem with whatever somebody wants to do. But do you allow yourself just to do it, to do it, or do you go? If I hit my goal, then I deserve to go to the club or go to party or have these nice dinners.

Because what you have to realize is if you're just going to go out and party because you're partying, you know, that's the standard you set for yourself. But if you say I won't allow myself to do this, like I think back to when, you know, we were both in court together, I won a trip to Jamaica and my office was not where I wanted it to be. It just was we were not operating at the level I want it to be.

I skipped a three week long trip to Jamaica because I was like, I'm not at the point that I want to be it. And I don't think that I deserve it.

So just think about that. Everybody like how close to your goals and how serious do you take them where you would would you skip a trip to Jamaica because you did a hit your goals because you're not at the standard that you want it to be? It.

Yeah, yeah. I love that. And that's something that, you know, we talked about a lot, you know, in those days.

And I think that's what really shaped us to have a high standard for our relationship to our goals. And also what what the standard was of what we're, you know, willing to accept, which was, you know, nothing short of greatness. You know, we wanted to continue growing. And that was the standard that we had in our relationship as well, where the standard that you and I had for, you know, fifteen years now. Fifteen years.

Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, for fifteen years, we've just always had the standard that it's like. We're constantly growing that constant, never ending improvement and, you know, part of that is, hey, if there's inevitably there's going to be weeks where we don't hit our goals or we don't you know, we're not thrilled with our results. But how we respond to that is also a standard. It's also how we, you know, just the level of integrity that we bring to having that relationship with our goals.

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Yeah. Another thing to think about is your health as well. Like what is your what is your standard of your health? Like when there's most of the time when people look in the mirror, they're seeing the same person that they've seen for the past few years because there's a standard of what you will hold yourself to and what you actually deem acceptable for where your health, your fitness, all of that stuff is. And when somebody goes on a journey of improving their health or improving their fitness and wanting to lose weight or gain weight or gain muscle or whatever it is that they want, it's them looking in the mirror and going, I will not accept this anymore.

I will not tolerate this anymore. That's where the change happens. And so what is when you think about everybody's listening, what do you think about your relationship with your body, with your health, with your working out, with your food? What are you willing to tolerate there? Because you're going to get the results that you're willing to tolerate? Well, it's kind of like the bank account example to where it's like, you know, once once the scale reads something that is not in line with the standard that you've held for yourself in the recent past, then that's when you make the change.

Yeah. And so whether it's too high or too low, whatever your goals are or whatever, wherever you want it to be or whatever you're willing to tolerate it to be, that's ultimately where it's going to go back to. So I think health, fitness, that's that's a big example. Yeah.

Another thing is if if we're talking business or people out there who are working in a business, sales results, like what? What is acceptable for you to make as far as sales go? You know, if you say, all right, I'm going to make a hundred phone calls today, are you actually holding yourself to one hundred phone calls or are you giving up a ninety eight? Ninety nine? Like, I remember a really great story that that Jeff Hoffman Jeff Hoffman is the guy who billionaire founder of Priceline.com.

He was really good friends with Evander Holyfield when he was Evander Holyfield is on his, you know, going and actually trying to become the heavyweight champion of the world.

And he had this whole example of, you know, he needed he had this crazy routine that he did this workout. And Jeff was there watching them, watching him go through and watch him a third. He's like, I don't think I could do one rep of what he was doing this all of these different sets. And there was like once I don't think I could do one set of what he did. And there was all these different workouts and his whole thing was Ahmadu, 300 of them.

And so he's counting all of the different ones that he's doing. He's like, OK, I want him to do it. You know, he's going up, up, up, up, up.

He want to do three hundred and he gets to the end. And Evander Holyfield walks up to when he goes, was that 299 or was that three hundred? And Jeff's like, I'm not really sure. I think it was three hundred. And he goes, Jeff, was it to 299 or was it 300? He's like, I don't know. I think it was 300.

He goes, was it to ninety nine or was it 300 fucking sets.

And he goes, I don't know. And he goes, All right, well I'm going to go do another one then. And he went and did another one and he came up to when you look at him now and he goes, the difference between 299 and 300 is the heavyweight champ of the entire fucking world and everybody else.

So why did he become the heavyweight champion? Well, because he held himself to a standard of I won't even stop one set short of my goal.

Yeah, yeah. And like, you know, just to go with the sales example, you know, if you're in a sales role and, you know, like some people, well, there's two ways to approach it. If you're not getting enough clients, if you're not making enough money in sales, it's just that you're not having enough conversations. And ultimately, that's the way that you handle that is also a standard. Do you look at it and be like, oh, well, the phone's not ringing enough or there's not enough leads coming in.

So I'm just going to, you know, the standard that I have, what I'm going to tolerate is just whatever comes in or are you going to create the new standard, you know, and that also takes willpower. That takes, you know, intention. But that is what we're talking about, is elevating the standards so that you can have an elevated experience and elevated life and elevated business for sure.

Yeah. Another thing that makes me think about it is just the culture of a business as well. You know, there's a lot of business owners that we've worked with, and you can tell the difference between someone's going to hold themselves and their employees to a really high standard in the culture that they have. They have a culture of success and a culture of actually going out and creating that culture of like, I'm going to be the first person here.

I'm going to show you guys the culture that we have. But there's also a lot of businesses that I see that fail a lot of times because their culture is just please show up like just please, please clock in.

Right. Like, that's it. Don't be silly. Don't be don't be late. And if you are, just please, hopefully you won't do it again. Like so there are cultures of being late like with us we have a morning meeting every single morning starts at seven a.m. my time, 8:00 a.m. your time and we say tight dojo like it starts at 7:00 a.m. Does it start at 7:00 or what. Right. So what is your what do you deem acceptable in the culture of the people that are around you?

Do you hold them to the highest standard that they could possibly get to or do you allow them to come up short? Because if you allow that to come up short, I mean, I don't I don't want people that are holding me to a lower standard that I want to be held to. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, that's such a good point, especially if you're a leader of an organization and you are you're just even part of an organization. Standards are contagious. Yeah, right. So the standard that you set as the leader of the organization or people that you lead that standard is going to be the standard now that everybody operates in. And so, you know, the best way to increase the culture of your business and of your organization or the sales of your organization is to have a new set of standards.

And those standards are what will create the new the new normal. Yeah. Yeah.

And if you go into when you're talking about business, another way that you could talk about besides just culture is like what's the quality of your service, what's the quality of a product, what's the quality of your customer service like? One of the things I remember with that I really loved about Zappos, the guy who founded Zappos just died, Tony. I think he died in a fire house. Kind of sad. But he I remember watching him a ten or eleven years ago, and I was really impacted because of his crazy desire to have amazing customer service.

Right. And that's what they were known for. And so he brought that culture in. And so when people out there like, what is the quality of your service? What's the quality of your product? What's the quality of your follow up? What's the quality of your customer service in your organization? Have you thought about what you will deem acceptable and unacceptable? What are you willing to tolerate, not tolerate just in your business alone?

Yeah, and I think we can just all agree that. You know, poor results are really a function of poor standards, so, you know, the the results that you're creating is what you're tolerating for sure. So, you know, if if what you're willing to tolerate are poor results or, you know, a poor quality of service or a poor experience for your clients or, you know, poor relationships, a poor bank account. Right. That's if that's what you're willing to tolerate, then that is the standard that you've set.

Yeah.

Yeah. Either you continue to accept that. Like, one of the things I always ask when I have a lot of people live is like, how long have you been stuck in your current comfort zone? I love asking that question because so many people like six months a year, five years, 10 years, 20, 40 years.

And the reason why they're in that comfort zone is because that's just basically what they will tolerate and they're allowing themselves to tolerate that and not anything more. And so you have to get to a point where you look around your life and you're like, I don't like these results. I don't like what it looks like and I'm going to change it. So it's either you take it as acceptable or at some point maybe get really pissed off and you're like, I'm not going to do this anymore.

My life will not do this. Like, this is not what it's going to look like. Like the moment I think of a perfect movie example is the pursuit of happiness, where you see Will Smith go through and he's sleeping. It's like the moment he he decides he's going to be the hero of his own story, then he's sleeping inside of the bus. And he and it was like, he doesn't say anything. He's inside the bathroom in the bus stop with his son.

And people are knocking on the door trying to get into it. And he's trying to sleep in there with his son. And it's like that moment clicked for him of, like, no more not going to do this anymore. Like, my life will not be sleeping inside of a bathroom, inside of a bus stop. I'm going to make something of myself. So people are out there and they don't like the results. They need to ask themselves what standards, what what am I willing to tolerate?

What standards am I going to hold myself to if I'm going to get out of the situation?

Yeah, well, in that example used a really powerful word, and it was the word decide, you know, and that's really where it all comes from. And, you know, it's like the Tony Robbins quote of, you know, the are the the moments that or in the moments of decision is where destiny is shaped. Right. Right. Where we can also in this frame that we're operating in, in the moments of decision is what creates our new standard, which does create our destiny.

Yeah, right. So those moments of decision are so important. And, you know, if you're listening to this right now and you there's not there's something about your business, something about your life that you are just like unwilling to tolerate any longer, you've got to just decide. Yeah. Decide that this is like enough is enough. And that's really the first step once you can. Well, actually, the first step is really building the awareness, like have an honest look.

Right. Of where you're at, where what about your life or what about your business. What about your relationships. What about your health is not like a full fuck. Yes. You know, where you're like, man, this is not this is this is weighing on me. This is not what I want and just have a really good look of the standards that I have created that and just decide to have a different standard.

Yeah. And, you know, we've been talking a lot about struggling, but also there's you know, so there might be a standard if you're allowing yourself to continue to struggle, like to struggle. But then there's also the other side of it, the flip side, where it's like you might be doing pretty decent right now.

Like we I know there's people out there. Let's us to make two or three or four hundred thousand dollars.

Great. But that's the start of what you're willing to accept. But if you're listen as you probably want, maybe not more money, but you want more from yourself.

And so there's a lot of people that we talk with. We've over the years, and I like to call it fat and happy syndrome, is you've gotten to a point where you don't need to make more money.

You don't need to bring more out of yourself. You don't need to do anything. You've got all of your needs met, maybe get a couple of vacations a year.

You can kind of have some freedom not to buy stuff, but. Do you want more? Maybe not just more money, but do you just want more from yourself? Usually what it is, is they want they have more potential that they feel like they're not bringing out and they've settled into a comfort zone. They're doing pretty well. They're able to pay their bills, are able to have a couple of cars, take a couple of trips.

But they're like, I don't want to be here anymore. And that's where it's kind of like you can either be fat, happy, or you can decide, like where you are now, kid, no matter where it is, ultimately be considered your rock bottom of what you deem acceptable in your life. And then you can build up from rock bottom the same way that like we're giving the example of, you know, when when Will Smith is homeless.

Right.

He hit a rock bottom. Can you make a mental rock bottom of where you currently are is the least of what you will find acceptable and you're going to build yourself up from there?

Yeah. Yeah, totally. And, you know, the other thing, too, is like the standards that we hold for ourselves sometimes are not even our own standards. Right. I mean, we didn't even create those standards. A lot of our standards that we operate in are because of our environment. So, like, you know, if if you think that, you know, if you're fat and happy, which, you know, most people aren't going to say, hey, I'm fat and happy, but if you're content, right, that's the easiest way if you're content.

But, you know, you could be more. Yeah, right. You know, you have more inside of you. That's how you know, you're fat and happy. Just call it like it is. Just say you're fat and happy and just know that that standard might it might have been co created by you, but also your environment. You know, you might be the most successful person out of all your friends. You might be in communities where people really look up to you and are like, man, you're killing it.

Right. But that that is also the if that's the environment that you're spending most of your time, your standard is going to have a ceiling. Right. And it's going to be very difficult to raise those standards when you're around people that look to you as if you have higher standards in them. And so, you know, I think that's you know, that's another big awareness awarenesses. You know, look at look at your life and look at the standards that you're holding.

But just ask yourself, are these the standards that are truly yours?

Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, you say your environment has a ceiling, and if you're the most successful person, you are the ceiling. So I don't know about you. I don't want to be a ceiling. I wouldn't be the floor is what I want to be in the networks that I hope. I never want to be the smartest or wealthiest person in any room. I want to hold myself to stay as I'm around people that that force me to go.

I do have more potential. I am playing small. I could do more.

And so, you know, we always say, like, if if you're around five million, there's probably going to come to six. If you're around five alcoholic's, you're probably going to become the six. So, you know, when you got when you look at your own standards, you also need to look at the standards of everybody else that happens to be around you. And we're not saying get rid of people, but can you find a new circle or new people to bring into your circle that make you actually force you to raise your own standards?

Yeah, and actually, I just want to share two to two ways to increase your standard. You know, the first way is you have to No. One, have a really honest look at yourself and look at your situation and just reflect and, you know, look at all the different parts of yourself and consciously make the decision to willingly change them.

You know, you've got to willingly change your standards in order to create a new life. And then the second way is, you know, what you just mentioned is really just get around people, get around a community. You know, like going back to my example, in real estate, I hired a coach that held me to a really high standard. And if it wasn't for that, I don't know if I would be able to hold a hyers that high of a standard for myself.

And so the ideas get around, people get around a community, you know, get around influences that will hold you to a higher standard than you would normally hold yourself to. And that automatically will hold you to a higher standard of what you believe is possible for you, your future, your life, your business, everything else. You're one hundred percent.

So what it comes down to is you will get what you're willing to tolerate. Have you figured out what you will tolerate if you don't know what it is, take out a pen and paper notes yourself? What am I no longer willing to tolerate and what have I been tolerating that I need to get rid of? I need to come up with a plan of how to change your business. Change your bank account. Change your results. Change the people that you're around, whatever it is that you need to do.

You need to figure out a way to do it. Yeah.

And the most important thing is, you know, even before the plan, just decide, right. Just make the decision cut off every other option of other than the the highest potential standard that you are willing to accept and tolerate for the rest of your life. For sure. Or at least for the moment. Yep. So that's what I got for you for today's episode.

If you love this episode, please share some of that, you know, love. And if you're interested in learning more about how you can work with Dean and I in different ways and how he can assist you in your business or even your life and growth, go to book with Dean Dotcom right now. You can fill out a survey. If we can serve you at a high level, we will let you know and reach out to you. If not, we will send an e-mail back and say, hey, you know, we don't think that we're the right fit.

But if you're curious, just go to book with Dean Dotcom right now, fill the survey survey and we will let you know how we can survey the highest level. But I'm going to leave it the same way. I leave you every single episode, make it your mission, make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.