
Financial Peace Starts With Clear Boundaries
The Ramsey Show- 90 views
- 30 Dec 2024
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While we're out for the Christmas break, we've compiled some of our favorite Dave and Jade calls from the past couple of years. Enjoy your day and we'll be back with a live show in the new year!
Dave Ramsey & Jade Warshaw answer your questions and discuss:
‘My new husband is almost $1 million in debt’
'My in-laws loaned us $40K, what should we do?’
‘How beneficial is it to close my credit cards?’
‘How do I choose a financial advisor?'
‘Can I fix my marriage after getting out of debt?’
'My parents send us a bill whenever they visit.'.
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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions. It's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Thank you for joining us America. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Jade Washoe, best selling author. Ramsey Personality is my co host today, so we're gonna take your calls.
The phone number is 888-825 225. Leona starts off this hour in Fairbanks, Alaska. Hi, Leona. How are you?
Hey, Dave. I'm great. How are you doing?
Better than I deserve. What's up?
Okay. So I'm calling because I am pretty newly married. Not my first rodeo. And, but 1 of the things I did, I made a mistake of, is not doing my financial background check, on my new spouse. And so, October we got married in May.
In October, we I realized that we are close to a $1,000,000 in debt. And,
wait a minute. Slow down. Wait a minute. Stop. Stop.
Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. I got lost in this already.
Mhmm.
I wanna make sure I'm with you. So you're how old?
I am 45.
Okay. And you've been married before.
I have.
You said not first rodeo. Okay. So you met a guy, and you married him, and you said it was a mistake to not do a background check.
No. A financial check. Like
With him, our conversations about money is what you're saying?
I didn't check to see what kind of debt ratio
Did you ask him? No. Oh, okay. So you just kinda walked in blindly. He thought you didn't care.
Turns out you cared. Okay.
Yeah.
Alright. I guess. And so you've been married for how long?
Wait. For about 9 months.
Okay. And then you woke up 1 morning and and decided to ask or he decided to tell you? What happened?
I wanted to quit my job. And so in that, I wanted I asked him if if that was possible. We went back and forth. I said I really need to see the budget, assuming he kept 1, and I found out there that he didn't keep a budget. But when I started pulling things together, finding about 17 credit cards, I realized there's no way, and he was heavily reliant on on my income as well to pay
How was he making it before you were married?
As a bachelor, he just he was just a heavy spender, and so he
he if he couldn't make it without your salary now, how was he making it without your salary before you were married?
We've he bought a, a $500,000 house.
Since you were married?
After we were married.
I see my name is not on the title or
on the
Since you got married. When did he buy the $500,000 house?
August. It closed. So we were married when
So you're married. You bought a house. Okay. You were aware you were buying a house? I was.
So $500,000 is owed on the house, and you said there's a $1,000,000. What's the other $500,000?
There's about there's another house that he had. It's a $300,000 home
Mhmm.
Just that we we're we have it as a rental right now.
What's owed on that?
330.
Okay.
So that's not know about the rental?
No. I did.
You just didn't think about it. Alright. So 8:30
Yeah. It was just moved
830,000. And now what other what's the other $200,000 in debt?
He has a HELOC loan, and some medical debt, and then about a 100 and almost $200,000 in credit card.
Okay. And so what's your question?
I mean, how do I not murder him? A.
It's not his fault. It's yours.
You didn't ask.
I know. I know.
Well, he doesn't get murdered. You might, but he doesn't.
Right.
I mean, you you walked around acting like nothing's happening, and he just assumed it was all okay. He's living his life like a, you know, just happy as he can be, happy as a little old clam, and then you came along wanting to quit your job, and he couldn't do it. So you're the 1 that didn't do anything. I mean, he's got a mess. There's no question about that.
We don't need to murder him. Does he wanna clean this up?
So far, he's been doing everything. We have a financial Peace University coach right now who's helping us untangle a lot of things and Right.
So both houses are for sale?
No.
Well, they need to be.
Okay.
Y'all are broke people.
Yeah.
Because I'm guessing there's a little bit of equity in these houses you can use to clean up this stupid butt credit card mess. This guy spends like he's in congress.
Hey. By the way, what do you guys earn? What's the income between the 2 of you?
About 200,000.
You you can dig through it pretty quick then. You might even get to keep the house you're living in, but the rental needs to go immediately.
Yeah.
And that's where the HELOC's laying too. Right?
I think the HELOC is on a new house, but both my our coach and I are both confused about that. It's just it's just messy.
Okay. And so And then number 1, the 2 of you, next time you meet with a coach, you have to raise your right hand and swear before the judge, I promise to never do anything with money ever again without my spouse knowing it. Both of you.
Mhmm. Yeah.
Both of you. You do not have the right to act surprised after this point, up to this point, because you walked into it begging for a surprise. Mhmm. And and but but now after for from today on, he doesn't make any moves anymore because he's really not good with money. Mhmm.
We really can't trust his judgment. He really sucks at this.
And, honestly, you're lucky that he agreed to go through financial peace and Yeah. Has the wherewithal to wanna change it. Yeah. You got lucky there.
Yeah. I think you guys get on a beans and rice budget. You sell the rental. Follow what the coach is telling you. You may have to sell the big house.
You may not. How much do you owe on your stupid cars?
So that's messy. His his wife passed, and there are 2 vehicle there's 1 vehicle in her name and a motor home in her name. And so Was the dad
in her name? Yes. Okay. But Yes. But he kept the rest of the estate too.
Right? Yeah. So it's not messy. Both of those need to get sold yesterday. Did he did he not probate a will or probate the estate?
No. He didn't. He just actually told the bank, like, 2 weeks ago that she passed away 2 years ago.
So the bank will
He just now told the bank that she passed away.
Yeah. So the bank is pretty upset right now. So because he's had the the stuff in possession for 2 years. So
Okay. So this level of, denial and deception that he has lived his whole life in has to change or your marriage is not going to work. And this level of, not bothering to ask and walking around with your head stuck in the clouds the way you do it, it that has to change or your marriage is not gonna work. So the 2 of you have to commit to a clean, clear way of living where we're not deceiving each other or anyone else. Alright?
And you can get these 2 cars sold. And do you have any debt on the 2 cars you guys are driving?
Well, the HELOC somehow has his truck wrapped into it.
No. I do not have any clue. The HELOC to buy the truck. That's all.
Okay.
But it so how how expensive is his truck?
I think it was, like 18,000 that he paid. He told me he paid off,
but That's not too bad. I'm not sure I believe it though. Alright. So, yeah, you guys just gotta dig in, clean all the, you know, get all the tangles out of the hair, get everything straight, and then decide what you're gonna cut, how much of a hair how much hair you're gonna have left after you finish this haircut, and then you gotta be clean with each other and everybody else. Quit hiding stuff, both of you.
Wow. What a mess, girl. This is the Ramsey Show. What does the future hold for business? Ask 9 experts, and you'll get 10 different answers.
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And speaking of what's next, download the CFO's guide to AI and machine learning at netsuite.com/ramsay. It's free at netsuite.com/ramsay. Jade Washall, Ramsey Personality is my cohost today. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Joni's with us in Jackson, New Hampshire.
Hi, Joni. How are you?
Well, as you said, better than I deserve. Much better.
Good. How can we help today?
Well and my dad used to say advice is worth what you pay for it, so that was fun to start the show off with that. Okay. So I, my daughter's 2 40 ish years old daughters and I co own a cabin that's, across the road from my house where I I've lived at this house for 40 years, and, we bought the cabin 5 years ago. We're all 3 on the deed. And as you said a few weeks ago, never go into business with anyone.
1 reason being that they will have different interests from you, and that's what we're facing. I'd like to move from my home to the cabin, which needs some serious work to make it livable. And my daughter is 1 of them wants to just do as little as possible and make it into a seasonal rental, and the other 1 wants that also, but she doesn't want me to have a home there because she can deny it, because we all have to agree since we're co owners. We all have to agree on work done there. And about 20 years ago, she was doing a bunch of bad stuff, and I had told her, if you keep this up, you're gonna have to leave.
So I had to kick her out of the house, and she wants to punish me for that.
So the way you the way you handled that she you have a daughter that wants to punish you, and you decide to buy a cabin with her?
It wasn't, it wasn't
You bought the cabin 5 years ago. 20 years ago, you kicked her out.
Well, 5 years ago when the cabin came up for sale, the owner wanted to sell it to my daughters, and so they, on paper, bought it. I paid 200,000 for it. So I paid for the taxes and the purchase price and all of the repairs that we have done.
So they put no money in it?
Money in?
Excuse me?
They put no money in?
Right.
Oh, gosh.
And I bought my house
1 years ago. And do you guys have any kind of written agreement on this at all?
We have 1 agreement that they came up with that says we all have to agree on any work that's done.
Did you sign that?
Yes.
Why? Why did you I don't know I don't know why you did any of this. If you had $200,000 buy the cabin, don't buy the cabin. Why did you put them on here knowing that this is gonna be that this 1 daughter is gonna be a problem from day 1?
I didn't I didn't know that, and the
Yeah. You did.
Would not sell it to me alone. She wanted to sell it to my daughters.
Why?
So I had no we either wouldn't get the cabin or the girls would both be on the date.
What what was initially the use of the cabin? When you first bought it, did you buy it because you said, you know what? I'm gonna move in here, and everybody knew that, or was the initial purpose of the cabin to rent it out to someone someone else?
It was me moving up there with an option. Mhmm. We didn't talk about any plans. I started doing little bits here and there, having a cabin chinked, making sure the roof was good.
Okay. Joan Joanie, let me ask you this. How how old are you?
I bought it to I bought it to protect the value of my house, so that
Jonie.
We're surrounded by national forest.
Jonie.
And it's my I bought my house for $28,000.
Joni.
Now it's worth a million.
Joni, how old are you?
70.
70. Okay. You have made a mess.
That's right.
This is a mess. Okay? And you're really left with only a couple of options. 1 is to convince your daughters to deed the property over to you given that they put no money in it to start with, and they have no rights to this morally or ethically.
Mhmm.
Okay. This is an absurd deal. You should not have done this deal. It was a dumb deal. It was a bad deal.
You set yourself up to get punched in the nose. Now you're getting punched in the nose. So now the only thing you can do with this is you can convince them to deed it over to you, or you can hire an attorney and sue them and force the sale of the cabin. And show the judge that they put $0 into this, and that at least you get your 200,000 back before there's anything split at the sale. Now you get to decide.
Are are you going to be able to convince them that you guys are all stupid? What you've done here is all stupid. You're not stupid. But what you've done is ridiculous. It's a horrible plan.
And your daughters are horrible. That they took a third of this knowing that they didn't get along with their 70 year old mother, and she paid a 100% of it. That's kinda like being a thief. Okay? That's kinda what that's like.
So I don't really like your daughter as much.
And this is not gonna be easy.
And so I don't know that you're gonna be able to convince these 2 dweebs to turn the thing over to you. And I'm afraid you're gonna be faced with a judge to do it, or you've just gotten screwed out of 200,000 because you've lost control of this. Because you've got a 2 to 1 vote, and the deed doesn't have any restrictions on it whatsoever. You've got 3 people, and they have 2 of the votes. So, but a judge can untangle this.
And the a judge can force the sale of the of of the cabin, and give you $200,000 of the sale. 1 other option on the persuasion side you could do, is you can offer the dweeb some money to go away. I'll give you $25,000 a piece. If you've got it or whatever, sign the deed over to me, which is immoral, thievery, blackmail, whatever you wanna call it, but you it's gonna be cheaper than court.
Mhmm. She's not gonna like them much after that, though.
Well, I don't like them, so it's easy to not like them. Yeah. I mean, they're not likable.
That's right.
Who does this to their parents? I don't know. It's weird. You threw me out of the house 20 years ago. So the only way I'm gonna get back to you is I'm gonna get you to pay full price for a cabin that I own 1 third of, and then I'm not gonna let you do anything.
Good god.
This is terrible.
4 year old is this? Needs counseling. Unbelievable. So, yeah, some people's children. But the, yeah.
Guys, you cannot enter into these things wide eyed open and expect, you know, a crocodile to do anything but bite your leg off. Crocodiles, it's what they do.
I just can't understand the I eve even if they liked each other.
Right? It's a dumb 1.
Be ever the purpose of going into something like it it makes no sense. If she was gonna move into it anyway, just buy the house for herself.
Well, the guy wouldn't sell it to her, which is weird.
Yeah. That's weird too.
There's a lot of weird here. But, yeah. Joni, I'm sorry. I wish I had a magic wand to make your pain go away, but your pain is not a cabin. Your pain is your daughter's.
Mhmm.
And that's what you're gonna have to deal with 1 way or another. Probably the cheapest way to do this is just buy the dweebs out and get them to sign it over. Just, you know, it's a dweeb fee. It's a stupid tax fee. And I do something stupid that costs me money, Joni, I call it stupid tax.
You're probably gonna pay some stupid tax here. You are going to pay some stupid tax here.
They better not ask for a third.
You're gonna pay a lawyer. Well, they'll ask for it. You know these dweebs will. Gosh. So you're gonna pay a lawyer, you're gonna pay the dweebs, or you're gonna lose your 200,000.
These are your 3 way you're but you're gonna lose money. You're gonna lose money. Something something's going on here.
I'm paying a lawyer. That if if it's me, I'm paying a lawyer. I don't I don't wanna fool with these girls anymore.
Wow. It's your kids.
They're dweebs.
To quote a well known philosopher?
Oh, my. That's terrible. I feel bad. But
You know, I was doing a thing with some wealthy people the other day, and they were all worried. They were saying, you know, how do I raise my children when we have wealth and then the wealth doesn't ruin them? And I told them, I said, the wealth won't ruin them. It's just gonna expose if you did. If you run them, the wealth is just gonna give you the exposure to that.
It's gonna magnify. Because whatever goes on that's, in a family is magnified when it gets wealth.
Wow. In
other words, the crazy gets super crazy.
Mhmm.
Right? The, but I mean, this is all tied to, you know, $200,000 worth of thievery here. Joni, I am so sorry. Your heart must be broken. Mine's broken for you.
I'm angry for you.
Mhmm.
I just can't do anything about it. Except ray all about it. Yep. This is the Ramsey Show.
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Jade Marshall, Ramsey Personality is my cohost. Open phones at triple 8825-5225. Darley is with us in, Fredericks Burg, Virginia. Hey, Darley. How are you?
Or is it Dar Darleya? Hi. Darleya. I said I can't I'll get it right eventually. It is Darleya.
Correct?
Yes. Yes. Correct.
How can we help?
Hi. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. So my in laws loaned us $40,000 last year, at 4.5% interest rate for 5 years, going to buy a house on an assumption a loan assumption. Oh, lord.
And that loan assumption, came at a rate of 3.125%, so we couldn't let that pass by. So instead of going to the bank to get 40,000, we, loaned it from that while they offered to give it to to to loan it to us, and we took them up on that offer. Mhmm. So I had a baby in December, and so now I'm staying at home. But before I I I had the baby and I'm staying home now, We got that loan down to $22,401
Mhmm.
Because we we're kind of following the baby steps while we're trying to.
Mhmm.
So I'm we're just so now I'm I'm not working. My husband is a little iffy about going under $10,000 because currently, we have $25,000 in savings.
Mhmm.
And I'm kind of suggesting, oh, should I should we just wipe out the loan with them?
What does he make?
Save up. He makes $76,000 a year. Mhmm.
So
Are y'all living on a written budget with every doll with the EveryDollar app?
Spreadsheet and all. Okay. Cool. Yeah.
Well, you said very much in control of every dollar.
Very much. We we know where every single penny goes
Okay. Essentially. So you said you're trying to follow the baby steps. Right? So
Yeah.
Well, wait a minute.
Telling my husband. I mean, he he wants he he's just nervous about going under $10,000
Yeah. But the big
if any emergency comes
Yeah. It's his parents.
Nervous about it.
He probably feels comfortable because it's his
parents. People.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
Good people.
It doesn't matter. You're feeling it, and you're feeling it for good reason. For 2 reasons. A, it's debt, and your body's gonna feel debt. And then, 2, it's debt that you owe to in laws.
Like, let's not make this
Thanksgiving dinner tastes different when you eat with your master, and the borrower is slave to the linner. Linner. Right.
Yeah.
Let's not make a complex situation more complex by adding debt to it. Right? So, yeah. If you guys have agreed this is the financial plan that we're following, then I'd hold him to that. And I'd say, listen.
If we say we're following the baby steps, we need to pay off this debt and then rebuild our savings. That's what the steps say. That's what the plan is. We said we are following that. And I don't feel comfortable with this debt as your wife.
I don't feel comfortable owing your parents. And if for no other reason, this should matter because of that. Right?
I've I've told him that. And he and he definitely understands. They're amazing people.
And was this we're not casting their character. Yeah. You don't need to tell me 3 times they're amazing people. This was a stupid butt idea, and y'all need to clean it up. Mhmm.
It was dumb. You shouldn't have done it. But you did it, and now you have the opportunity to clean it up. Don't do it again.
I heard you call so many people dumb that now I'm appreciating that I've gotten to
that level.
You're part of the club. I didn't say
I did not say you are dumb. I said the idea and what you did was dumb. There's a difference.
Yeah. Yeah.
I am not dumb, and I have done some dumb but things in my life.
Quote dumb but decision. That's what it is.
I love it.
Done it. I have done it. So you guys clean this up. Get it out of your life. You can feel it, and you can it this is not an indictment of saying your parents are bad her parent in laws are bad people.
They're wonderful people. They were trying to be helpful. They were helpful in a bad way, but they were helpful. They're trying to be sweet. They're trying to get you what you want in life, and they're not being mean.
They're not calling you every week and looking at your budget and judging you. They're not control freaks. You didn't bring up any relationship issues. These are not bad people. That is not what the point is.
The point is you have $22,000 in debt, and you have $28,000 or $26,000 or whatever it is in your account. Write a check today and pay it off. Mhmm. That's the point.
Yeah. Yeah.
If it was on a credit card, it'd be the exact same thing that we'd say, that was a stupid but decision. You shouldn't have done that. Now clean it up. It's you got the money there? Write a check.
It's just it it it just complicate it makes the more drama to the conversation because it's the in laws.
And think about it like this. You know, your life has changed since you took that loan. Now you're staying home with a child. That's an income that's gone. You have to ask yourself, okay.
If we keep this debt around, what happens if there's another major life change? What what if your husband loses his job? What if he's laid off? So there's a lot of variables here that a lot of times we don't let our brain think about because it's not pleasant. But when you carry debt, you are holding risk.
I don't care who it's to because Dave talked about Thanksgiving dinner tasting different. It would taste a lot worse.
And by the way, we're not gonna be at the 2 or $3,000 level in this but for about 10 minutes
Right.
In this account? Because you're gonna immediately start adding money to it. Correct?
Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah. So how much would you add to it a month? Do.
How much would you add to it a month without having these payments?
700. Yeah. Okay. About 700 a
month. Okay.
And he's he's expecting a bonus soon and
hopefully a a promotion soon.
Yeah. And a lot of that will go to So you're gonna be like, by September, you're gonna be right back up where you need to be. Right?
Yeah. We're gonna be down we're gonna be down at the to, like, $3,000 Yeah. After we pay it.
And you got a bonus, and you got $700 a month. And
I yeah. That's
Is $700 a month if you don't have this payment or currently $700 a month?
If we don't have the payment, $700
a month.
Alright.
Yeah. And it it does freak them out because because we were doing we were following the baby steps when I was working, and I when when I found out I was pregnant, we were essentially just dumping money to to this loan to them, and it it freaked them out. They were like, alright. What are you doing?
I'm not I I I'm not concerned about them freaking out. That's their problem. If they didn't want you to repay it, they should have made it a gift.
Yes.
They shouldn't freak out. They ask you to pay them back, you're paying them back. Stop with the drama. Just write them a check. Pay them back.
Be done with it. And please don't do this again. Terrible. It's just I'm telling you guys, there's the the I've, in the 30 something years I've been doing this, some of the saddest stories are the ruined relationships because somebody did something, like loan their kid 25 or 30 or $50,000 to buy a house, and then something goes sideways, something gets out of hand, and all of a sudden, everybody's, like, torqued up and twisted up. And formerly nice, sweet people aren't for some reason.
And I just it's bad y'all. You're asking. It's like if borrowing money on a credit card to do this is stupid, just make it stupid times 2 to do it with your in laws. Alright? Because you're just and again, I'm not calling you stupid.
I'm saying what you did was stupid. And because I don't call people stupid except people in the financial world that tell you to do stupid things. But the, but you you people that we're trying to help, I'm not gonna our job to help you heal is to tell you the truth. You don't want the doctor to go, you know, I think this little bit of cancer is gonna be okay. Why don't you just leave it there?
Right.
You want them to say, no.
Get it out.
Get it stupid. Try sunscreen, boy. You know, I mean, seriously. Right? And golly.
So you want people to tell you the truth if they're gonna be healers. And we're not gonna hold back. We're gonna tell you exactly what it is because we got a lot of people to help, and we love you, and we want you to win. And that includes Darleah in Fredericksburg, Fence, Virginia.
But, Dave, there's so many people who they are sitting on savings while they've got debt sitting over there in the corner. And the the thought is, I don't like the risk of not having savings,
but they don't entertain
the other side of the equation, which is you must not care that much about risk because you've got debt savings.
Already offset it. You know, your balance sheet still represents a broke person.
That's right. The math has to math.
You know, I don't wanna I don't wanna be down less than $10,000. Well, try going into debt and using up all your money then.
Right. You
know, that's, that's a good way to solve that. Mhmm. So and by the way, you can pass up any housing deal. It's too good to pass up. No, it's not.
Not if you can't afford it. No, it's not.
You can
pass up a deal on that Bentley too, because you can't afford it. Help you with that. That Louis Vuitton, that $83,000 purse, you can pass that 1 up. You can pass it up if you can't afford it. It's too good a deal.
Nah, you can pass it up. It's possible. I see people do it all the time. This is The Ramsey Show. I've been doing this show for over 30 years, and some of the saddest calls I have taken are from situations that are completely preventable.
Yeah. And what's so hard is I feel like 1 of those, especially the ones that I'm like, oh, it's terrible air. People that call in and their spouse has passed away suddenly, and they don't have life insurance. When you have to think through how am I gonna pay my bills
in the
middle next week.
Yeah. In the middle of all that grief, like, it's just it is. It's terrible. So life insurance is the 1 thing, especially as a mom with 3 little kids that I'm, like, so big on for people to get because it's inexpensive. Zander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our life insurance.
And it doesn't cost much because Zander shops among a gazillion different companies. It doesn't cost much. You just have to admit that someday you're not gonna be here. You gotta say it out loud, and you gotta say, I'm gonna say I love you to my family by taking care of them and taking the time to put this stuff in place. It cost us stinking pizza.
To get a free quote, call 800-356-4282. That's 800-356-4282, or go to zander.com. Jade Washall, Ramsey Personality is my cohost today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Jeannie's with us in New Jersey.
Hi, Jeannie. How are you?
Hi, Jade and Jade. How are you?
Better than we deserve. What's up?
I need I just need a little bit of encouragement and some, clarification on something I heard you say a couple of, days ago or weeks ago. I can't remember. I am baby step 3. I am struggling with getting rid of that last credit card because I want to buy a house next year, and I do want to do the manual underwriting. But you mentioned something about your like having a credit card is more even if you're not using it, it's more damaging than not having it.
I want my score to be indeterminable, but can that happen if I have a credit card still open on it?
No. It cannot.
Just tell me to cut it up.
No. It cannot. Cut it up.
You you cannot cannot be indeterminable indeterminable while you have open credit accounts.
Anything?
Even if there's 0 balances. Anything. Yes. Everything has to be completely closed and 0 balance.
Mhmm.
Okay.
As long as it's open, it's still reporting even if it's reporting a 0 a 0 balance.
Okay. I'm already in touch with Churchill, so we're going through stuff. But they I I couldn't understand what you had. You explained it before the other day, and I just wanted some
Yeah. Listen, the damage is is that what you end up with when you have 1 credit card open and a 0 balance and no other credit accounts of any kind, you're gonna end up with a low credit score because you have almost no credit. That's what it amounts to. Even though it's not bad, it's just you don't have any. You'd be like a 20 year old or something that just got their first card, and the only thing they have in their whole life, they're not gonna have a high credit score with 1 credit card.
You know? And that's that's back that's back where you are, and that's what you're setting up. So because the algorithm is based on how you interact. The algorithm that creates the credit score is based on how you interact with credit. Mhmm.
It's not based on anything else. And so if you have 0 if you have 0 interaction with credit, then that's when you have an indeterminable 0 credit score.
Jeanie, you said you're nervous. Are you nervous because you're unsure of your credit score dropping to 0 when you cut this up? Are you nervous because now you won't have this credit card in your life? What where is your nerves coming from, specifically?
I think the nerves are coming from just having that cushion or thinking I have a cushion. And I don't want to think that, but I just I'm struggling with myself. It's just a a battle.
It is a battle. Look. I I'm gonna validate that because the credit card companies, that's what they tell us. They tell us, you can't exist without us. You need us to prop up your life.
You can't spend with they tell they've been telling us this for decades.
Don't leave home without it. Leave home without it.
And I'm and I'm 53, so I just started this in in January. I'm just like, you know, I've been that stuff has been drilled in me a long time.
And you're and you're single.
Trying. Yes.
And so you're you're you feel vulnerable. You feel a little bit vulnerable for that reason.
Mhmm.
Yeah. And, yeah, that that's very normal. But what that tells us is and it that that I went through this, you know, spiritually myself some 30 years ago, it tells me what I'm counting on. What am I what is in a in a sense, not not a true spiritual sense, but in a sense, what is my God? What is my what is my provision?
Oh my gosh.
You know?
K. I'm gonna do it y'all.
It's so good.
But, I mean, it tell that's what I had to cope with. I went, who's providing for me? Yeah.
I don't like the way you put that.
I know. But I I that's what I had to have here in my head, and it wasn't like a golden calf worshiper. I'm not saying that. That's not what you're doing. But the thing is this.
I I figured out I really can't count on them to make my life good. I can count on me and my hard work and my diligence and discipline and wisdom, and I can count on God providing for me, my heavenly father who's crazy about me. I can count on those 2 things, but I 100% can't count on Wells Fargo.
Look. Exactly.
That's a word. That's it. And that's that's, you know, who is my provider? And that's that's what they've done. Yeah.
They've they've gotten their tentacles around their claws around that portion of our heart
Yeah.
That says, don't leave home without it.
Don't leave and that's I mean,
turns out Daniel Boone did.
And he did. He was alright.
He did okay. You know?
Yeah. We got a spot.
Bankrupt. But anyway but yeah.
Instead of relying on credit and credit scores, I I just like, give yourself credit. Give yourself credit that you can handle your own money. Give yourself credit that you can budget, and you're a big girl and
a big boy. How that word is interchangeable. It is. Credit as in I'm gonna go in debt or I'm gonna give myself credit. Cred.
Street cred. I'm gonna I'm gonna give myself the belief in myself.
Whew. I'm putting that in a quick read.
And that that's what I'm thinking. Yeah. You know, I I there but it that's why the credit cards have and and the FICO score really when we talk about this, don't worship at the altar of the great FICO.
Yeah.
Oh, great FICO, provider of all good things. We bring you offerings of interest so that you give us a bigger score that has nothing to do with nothing except how much we play kissy face with a bank. And, you know, we we really this is our provider. Yeah. Old FICO.
Good old FICO. And I I think of these bad b movies with, like, a, you know, like a pyramid with flames coming out of the top and the, you know, the the the, you know, the the face the face made out of stone and the smoke coming out the ears. Yeah. Great FICO. Oh, great FICO.
We worship you. You know, like we're Mayans or something.
Oh my
god. Give me a break.
No. None of that. Yeah.
But I mean, that not picking on her, but I mean, that's where I was too.
I I get it.
Yeah. We were convinced the best way to become wealthy is to go in debt, stay in debt.
Yeah.
By the people who want you to go into debt and stay in debt. Yeah. Oh, they've convinced us of that. The borrower is truly slave to the lender. Good.
Hey. Wait. Another one's down. She's gonna cut it up, Jade. We get it.
She's gonna do it.
She's gonna do it. Kyle's in Spokane. Hey, Kyle. What's up?
Yes, sir. I'm happy to speak with you Mr. Ramsey and Mrs. Waugh Shaw today. I have a quick question.
My wife and I are on Baby Steps 4, 56. We recently sat down with the future SmartVestor Pros, all of whom were excellent. Good. But we narrowed it down to 2. Good.
But there's 1 big difference between them. They'd both be great to work with, but I hope to get some guidance. 1 is strictly fee based. They assess 1% of the account value annually and that would decrease by a few tenths as the account increases in value. The second is commission based, where it's 3 a half percent of all new money invested.
In the long term, it seems like the fee based approach would be way more expensive, but he argues that commission based guys may use mutual funds with higher maintenance fees to kind of compensate themselves with higher
Well, that would not be true of a smart investor. Someone that has integrity would not do that. So a SmartVester that's wanting to charge you I I buy commission based, but most people do manage funds like you're talking about. The vast majority of our SmartVester Pros are managed funds or the 1% plan. Okay?
The vast majority of them. But there's nothing inherently, automatically bad about 1 or the other. And you're right. Technically, you will come out cheaper with the commission base than the managed base. Technically.
Okay? Over the scope of your life. Okay? Mathematically. But neither 1 is a rip off.
Both are worth the money. And so, like, like, I'm pretty sure, for instance, Rachel and Winston have theirs on the 1% plan, and I do the old fashioned the old fashioned commission plan, that's more of an old fashioned style. Okay? But it is cheaper. They're called a shares.
You're buying a shares, and, the most you'd get charged is 5 3 quarter on the front end, and then nothing after that. Nothing ever after that. And so what what's it take? It takes 5 3 quarter years to break even on that. Right?
And so after that, you're making money. So 10 years in, you you make but either 1 or neither 1 are gonna keep you from getting rich. Having a good financial adviser is gonna make you rich because they're gonna keep you in the game. They're gonna have the heart of a teacher, and I wouldn't turn around and spit for the difference. I if I were you, I wouldn't pick it based on that.
I would instead pick it based on which 1 of these 2 your wife likes best. Okay.
That's a that's good advice right there.
Which 1 did she like best? Which 1 did she like best?
It's the the fee based.
Then go with that. Okay. She just likes that guy the best.
Well, he is handsome. I'll give him that much.
Oh, I
didn't mean that. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. No. That's not a reason to pick him either.
Otherwise, no 1 would ever listen to my advice.
I was about to say
Hey. You were about to say that.
No. I was about to say. I know Dave is not talking about.
Oh my. Oh, my. Oh, my.
Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my.
Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my.
Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my.
Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my.
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It's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Jay Washoe, Ramsey Personality, best selling author is my co host today as we take your calls about your life and your money. The phone number is triple 8-825-5225. Jack starts this hour in Cincinnati. Hey, Jack.
Welcome to the Ramsey
Show. Hey, Dave. How are you this afternoon?
Better than I deserve. What's up?
So I've dug myself a hole, and I don't know what the right answer is. I I probably do know what the right answer is, but I don't know how to get out of it.
Okay. What happened?
Well, to make a long story short, my wife and I got married 2 years ago after dating for about 6 years. We waited till all the kids were out of high school, and we could combine households a little more easily. After a big wedding, we started trying to pay stuff off, but the minute we got home from the honeymoon and when business became when it became the business of a relationship, the relationship changed and that's where the problem lies. So in in the process of paying stuff off last July, we decided because we weren't making any progress on the 4 or on the credit cards. We made it a really wise decision to take a 401 k loan for $50,000 payable in 2 years to pay it off.
But now the credit cards are coming back. So I've got a list if you want a list, but just not sure what to do with it.
What's the, so so your core question is what?
How do I fix this and fix my and keep my marriage?
Okay. Okay. Wow. Alright. So you've got a total of how much debt?
120.
Okay. And 50 is a 401 k now.
So 35 left. That's correct.
Oh, 35 of the 120. Okay.
35 of 35 of that 401 k is left.
K.
Yep. So 35 of your 120 is a 401 k loan. What is the other 85,000?
Okay. So we've got credit card with 11.8, credit card with 7200, credit card with 19.2, credit card with 2900, 2 cars at 3 18 and 224, my daughter's car at 29100, which will be paid off very shortly, and a trailer for my losing business at 43100.
K. Alright. And what's your household income?
About 200.
Okay. What's the losing business? What's that mean?
So to fund an early retirement, I have a woodworking business that I do on the side. It's taking up 6 to 8 hours a night and every weekend. And in the last 2 years, we've lost, about $10,000 a year.
Okay. So that sounds like taking up a bunch of money and a bunch of time, both. That's kind of an easy decision, isn't it? I need the 8 hours to spend on my marriage. I need the $10,000 to spend on something else, rather than a losing business.
Close it and sell off the stuff. Why wouldn't you do that?
I could.
Yeah, you could. You'd have 8 hours to spend on your marriage. You said you're spending 8 hours a night on this?
Yeah. I'm normally in I'm normally in my shop until between 9 and 10 o'clock every night.
Yeah. That's good for marriage. Yeah. Okay. And especially since you're not making any money, I mean, if you were making a $10,000 a night or something, you should probably be tolerant.
But, okay. So Is that where the $200,000 income. You have cars coming out your ears, credit cards coming out your ears. Now the credit cards are growing back. So that tells us that you're you guys continue to spend more than you make.
If the credit cards are growing back. Right?
Yeah. You took the HELOC out for the credit cards. Tell me what you're spending this money on. Is this just putting food on the table? Is this funding your business?
What's what's going on these credit cards?
So 33 of those cards are are funding the business. 1 of them goes away in a week because I made a a big sale.
Did you cut them up yet?
They're they're put away. They're not cut up.
Okay. There's the problem.
No. Okay. No. There's a different problem. I disagree.
The 2 of you have not sat down and said with a written budget that we're going to live on less than $200,000 a year. Why?
To be honest, we have, but then something always comes in.
So you just didn't stick to it?
Pretty much.
So an example of something that comes in is what?
$4,000 collection item from Verizon from 4 years ago that we didn't know was coming or, foreclosure for her and her ex husband on, timeshare of all things that paid immediately because his credit doesn't need to be affected.
I'm sorry. He I
know timeshare is your favorite word.
No. I don't I don't understand why his credit matters to you
well
to his ex wife.
She she was obligated to pay it in the divorce.
Oh, okay. Alright. So she knew she had that, and the Verizon bill was hers too?
Yes.
So she's knew she knew she had that. She just didn't know when they were gonna drop. But she knew these were unpaid bills, and if she's an adult. I'm missing something here, Jack. Okay?
I don't understand why this is ending your marriage. Because the 2 of you can't get on the same page, or what what's the problem?
So the stress of the bills weighs heavy and we go out and we go out and we do, we go to like a craft show on the weekend and we make a little bit of money And all of a sudden, we're we're all in, and we're ready to go take this business into early retirement. But by Tuesday, when it rolls around and we're back out in the shop, it's it's, oh, holy cow. We gotta make we gotta work work again.
But that's not your term That's your side hustle.
Right.
Do you
have a $200,000 income, and the 2 of you can't decide to live on that? That's what's confusing to me.
I think that your mindset is there's some place in your brain where you think you can kinda windfall yourself out of this. Whether it's, hey, we'll just take out the HELOC and that'll be our windfall to get out of this even though it's not. Or, hey, we can go to these craft shows and maybe we can make enough money to get a windfall and get out of this. And I think what Dave is getting at is you guys haven't truly looked at your behavior together as a team. If you set a course and say we're going to do this, no 1 else can make you follow that course of action other than the people in the mirror.
And that that's what we're getting at is
So, Jack, if you wanted to, like, be, like, drum have some dramatic moves forward. Okay? I can give you 4 things right now that if you go do them. By the end of the time you do those, which should be within 2 weeks, you're gonna have a completely different scenario in your life. Sell both cars, sell the trailer, get out of the woodworking business, sit down with your spouse, and do a written detailed budget where the 2 of you live on less than your day income, and you guys can clean this mess up in no time.
But you're, you know, you're screwing around with craft shows, losing $10,000 a year and 8 hours a night, and losing your butt, and you can't sit down and and manage to make it through a $4,000 bill making 200 k. So you can do this, but you got 2 stinking expensive cars, you got a stinking expensive hobby that you wish was a business, and the 2 of you aren't working together. That that's the answer. Right? Those 4 things.
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Jade Washaw, Ramsey personality is my co host today. Thank you for joining us. Hey, folks. We know a lot of people who tune into every single episode that we do. Thank you for that.
And you know all the answers. You can answer the questions faster than we can, But you're still stressed. You're still stuck. Why is that? Because it turns out knowing what to do isn't the deal.
Doing it is the deal. You can know what to do and not do it, and have no success whatsoever. Thus, the problem with only knowing. Application is part of wisdom. And the proven way to change your behavior with money is by taking Financial Peace University.
It's our 9 week class or 9 lesson class. A lot of people do it in 9 weeks. You get with a superhero called a coordinator that will encourage you and hold you accountable, act as your personal trainer as you go through, and you're in a class either virtually or in a group class over at your church. That's why this class has worked for over 10,000,000 people, and after 9 weeks, you will never handle money the same way again. The typical person has an $8,000 turnaround in 90 days.
That's right. They typically pay off $53100 in debt in the 1st 90 days, and save $27100 in the 1st 90 days. $8,000 is pretty good turnaround. Mhmm.
That's
what's called ROI, return on investment. Financial Peace University. Check it out. Ramsey solutions.com/fpu.ramsysolutions.com/f p u. Calandra is with us in Shreveport.
Hey, Calandra. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.
Thank you for having me.
Certainly. How can we help?
I have a question about, baby step number 1, And, I kinda want you to give me a bit of a critique on if you think I'm real serious about this or not.
Okay. What's going on?
Okay. So I am halfway through baby step number 1, working on saving that $1,000. And, unfortunately, in my city well, really, in all of Shreveport, Bossier, and some of the aquatics, our power was out. And so I had to throw away my whole fridge, basically, and refill it, and it set me back a bit. But that's neither really here nor there.
The electricity is back on. Great. But it's like every time I start to save my money if something like this happens to me. And I'm not really complaining about it. I'm a little frustrated, but I am starting to wonder if maybe I just am not making enough money.
What do you make?
Even get to that expense. Right now, I'm making $2,000 a month. I live really, really cheap. I don't have a lot of expenses, but I do have a ton of debt. Uh-huh.
I am making, like I said, 2,000 a month. I pay 6.50 a month for my rent. Couple $100 a month, like, $237 a month for my car, plus another $100 for my insurance.
Mhmm.
A $100 for my, phone. You know, things like that.
How old are you?
I save about 300 26.
Mhmm. Yeah. For the critique, this is I do want you to make more money. But specifically, for baby step 1, you got like the the thing the thing that's gonna keep life from happening to you on this, and, you know, you take 1 step forward, 2 steps back, it's speed. You've gotta come in like a wrecking ball and just pull through this.
I mean, you're selling stuff. You're going so hard in the paint. Most people save this within 30 days. Like that, I wanted to ask you, how long have you been on baby step 1?
Yeah. About $2,000 was you can't do it.
That's what
I'm saying. She's gotta go. She's gotta pick up all the work Yeah. Do all the things, the babysitting, the house cleaning.
What do
you what do you do for a living?
I'm a banker. I work in a bank.
Full time?
Mhmm.
Doing what?
I'm just a teller at the bank.
Okay. Alright.
Yeah. I'm not, like, 1 of those loan specialists or anything like that. I just got the job, like, 2 months ago. Okay. Well, not 2 months ago, like, in February.
High school education?
Day that I started. Yep. I'm back in college. I'm going for my, associates in business, And then I will get a better paying job, and then I will continue
on with my bachelor's in business.
How are you paying for the associates?
Actually, my job is paying for it. Great.
Let me great. Great. Great. Yeah. So there's a path.
That's that.
You have a path in front of you to earning more, which is good.
Mhmm.
But for the here and now, we've gotta find ways to earn more. And I'm not saying that I I I I like that you're on a path to earning more, but you gotta pick up more hours somehow. Maybe not obviously, maybe not at the bank. I'm not sure what they offer there.
Let me ask you something. Okay? Yes. When you took the banker job or the teller job at the bank,
the,
obviously, you were looking for work at that point. What were you doing before that?
Before that, I was a full time artist, painter, and muralist. I was teaching part time job, teaching art to children and, like,
you know, I took the let me let me see if I can get in your head for a second. Did you take this job
part time job.
Did you let me see if I can get in your head a second. Did you take this job to, because it felt like it was like, you were like, being an artist, you might have felt a little bit irresponsible part time and all that. This is like a responsible big girl job. I'm gonna get on a track here to build a career. No.
You did?
I actually took that job because, I took that job because back in the day, I was in school for graphic design, and I was paying for everything out of pocket. I'm the 1st person in my family to go to college. And when I reached out to get support from not only my family, but for my counselors as well, I didn't really get a a lot of good support. I didn't get very much feedback. And I was doing everything on my own and then
I I think you're I think you're amazing. The thing I'm thinking about is, I would like for you to do something that maybe is not as,
I
don't know.
It's not as whimsical.
I'd I'd like for you to make twice as much money at something that doesn't sound as fun as banking or sound as professional as banking. If you were to clean houses and make 48 thousand
There you go.
Or you
can be a teller and, be 24,000, I'll take the clean houses right now.
Okay. Look. You're creative. You have a skill set, and you have an offering that the average person can't do. There is a way that you can monetize that in some way and make more money at per hour than you're doing right now.
No. You're I agree wholeheartedly.
I I applaud your move in the direction you're going, and I applaud all the decisions you're making. I think you're an incredible young lady. It's fun talking to you. I would like for you to find a way to make a have a a job that might not make, everybody around you think you're cool or proud or whatever, but I don't give a crap that makes more money right now. You need some more money.
What I'm thinking.
Yeah. If you could go make 48,000 on your day job and make another 20,000 on your side job teaching art to kids and create some kind of, mentoring program or some kind of tutoring program or something along those lines. Some are workshops. Yeah. You get you get paid and, you know, if I could get your income, like and then that increases your speed because part of the problem is is that you you're not making any money.
That's right.
It's a problem.
I mean, it's what you're and it's not a put down because I think you're moving in the right direction. And, and you don't have good, people around you to tell you to go do this or go do that. And so we're gonna be those people.
Yep. Okay.
We're gonna help you. I wanna do a couple things. 1 is, I'm I'm gonna put you through Financial Peace University, our 9 week program. I also want you to take Ken Coleman with the Ramsey Networks. He has a show on career and on jobs, and he has an assessment, a career assessment.
It's $30, but I'm gonna give it to you. Okay? And I'm also gonna give you his book, From Paycheck to Purpose. I'm gonna load you up, kiddo, because I think you got huge potential. And we're gonna come around you, put our arms around you, and love you, hug you, and say, get get them, Tiger.
Get them. And you call back here anytime and remind us of this conversation, and we'll talk to you and and help you. We'll be the ones in your corner. But right now, I would rather you be in a job that is not as, I don't know what the right word is. It's not respectable.
That's not the right word, but it's not it's not as professional sounding. Yeah. You know,
She's a free spirit. She needs a free spirit reflective
Bankers let me tell you about banking in general. Okay? Banking, big title, little money. Mhmm. Just in general.
Clearly. Clearly.
Just in general. And tell tell her bottom of that barrel. Big title, little money. Lots of lots of walking around like I'm doing something. No money.
So when someone says they're a banker, I always snicker. This is the Ramsey Show. People tell me about their experiences with big banks all the time. Bad service, fees that nickel and dime them to death, and predatory lending that tries to catch them in never ending cycles of debt. So if you're ready for a bank that puts people over profits, check out Fairwinds Credit Union.
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Today's question of the day is brought to you by why refi? This is an interesting statistic. 93% of undergraduate private student loans are cosigned. So when you're a delinquent, Nana, Uncle Joe, whoever it was signing, they're going down with you. But there is a way out.
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Alright. Today's question comes from Paige in Delaware. My parents live in a different state than my husband and I. Everything is fine when they visit, but when they return home, they send us a bill for things that we ask them to purchase during their visit, such as food prep ingredients for meals, toiletries, etcetera. The items are usually incidentals, not the full cost of a meal.
Are we wrong to ask them to help with expenses while they are staying with us? Okay.
Y'all are weird. Paige, y'all are weird.
That's shocking to me.
That's just both of you are weird. The fact that you ask somebody else to pay for stuff when they're staying in your home, regardless of who it is, is weird. Have a little hospitality. Get you know, they shouldn't have to buy their own freaking toilet paper. And if you're gonna have a meal for a friend or relative who's staying with you, you pay for the meal.
And your parents are weird. They go home and send you a bill? Yeah. That's weird. Yeah.
I'm shocked.
I truly am. It doesn't make sense. The only, like, the the only thing that I could think of where this made sense is if they came and, like, lived with you for, like, 3 years or something, but there's no indication. And even still, I
I have never stayed at someone's home, and they asked me to pick up something at the store and sent them a bill.
I can't imagine.
They let me stay at their home, and I've never stayed at someone's home who expected me to pay for something, but I always try to leave with let them with more than when I came.
It's like,
how do
you keep a tally about
both sides of this grow a little generosity.
Yeah. That's what's at stake here. It's
Wow. Oh god. When someone stays in your home page, you should furnish everything and take care of it. You should not ask someone to pay for it. Period.
I don't care who it is. Oh, by the way, parents, when you stay in someone's home and they ask you to pick something up, pick up twice as much and leave it as a gift to say thank you for letting us stay there and don't send a bill. Y'all are weird.
Yeah. Because where I listen. If my family comes I'm the type I wanna give you a little care box. Like, I want the stuff to be in the room, and I don't want you to think of anything.
Dinner. You bring a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine.
Yes. Hello? Wow.
God, man. Wow. Y'all are weird.
To itemize. You ate you ate an apple yesterday. Put that on the bill.
Half a roll of toilet paper has been invoiced here. Toiletries. I'm just saying y'all are weird.
I'd love to see that receipt. I'd love to see what it looks like. Half half a bag of Tostitos.
Oh, god, man. You know, for next the first time I got the bill, the next time they came to visit, I'd be going motel 6 over, buddy.
Yeah. You may as well stay in a hotel.
Might as well go over there, and you you settle up with those people.
There's free breakfast.
Yeah. You get those get those powdered eggs, man. 6 o'clock in the morning. That coffee that's been watered down. That orange juice has never saw an orange.
Man. You you just stay yourself right over there, baby.
Oh, wow.
Y'all are weird. Tracy's in Boise, Idaho. Hey, Tracy. What's up?
Hi. Thank you for taking my call.
I have
a question. My dad passed away in March of 2023.
I'm sorry.
My sister and I were originally thank you. We're originally co executors. A month after my dad passed, things got really volatile, and I removed myself. I had my attorney draw up a letter to remove me from my dad's estate, let my sister be, and and I've had no contact with them since just via a few texts, a few emails, very generic. I received an email on September 3rd from my sister's attorney, the probate attorney, asking me to sign a document regarding my dad's home had been on the market for over a year and had not sold.
My siblings wanna close out the estate and put a renter in there, which is not what my dad's will says. But it because I'm an heir, I'm in I have to sign this document. My question to you is if I sign this document, am I removing all legal representation that my remaining 3 siblings are just gonna, you know, honor my dad's will and divide things up according to the will. Basically, my dad's will is very generic, was sell all my assets, pay all my debt, divide everything by 4. Nothing has been done correctly in my dad's will.
Nothing has. And I've just let it I mean, I stepped away, so I'm fine with that. But my fear and I and my husband and I are baby step 7. We're building a home for cash. Mhmm.
Okay. What do you wanna do with your share of the home? Are you gonna just turn it over to them? Abandon it abandon it and walk away?
I think that's an option.
Okay. If you're gonna do that, then you can sign the letter. If you want your share of the home, you can't sign the letter.
You don't need the money.
Thank you.
What is it? Amount to it?
Really need the money. Nope. Nope. We don't. And that's kind of where we're at right now.
If we sign the letter, we're
How much is the house for?
Maybe once it sells and the debt the there was still a mortgage on it, we might be talking 200,000 profit. It divided by 4. We're talking 50,000 each or less or less each.
Yeah. Mhmm.
There's some other assets that, you know, that's not accounted for, and I don't even care. I just and is it worth it? Is it worth
the 5? You're at your woods' end. We can hear it in your voice. You've you've gone around and around up on this.
Yeah. So I yeah. You gotta decide you gotta decide if you wanna reenter the battle or you wanna walk away.
So so if I wanna re so my my my position is, and which is what I told my the probate attorney, I want the house left on the market and it's sold. Yeah. That's it. I don't there's that's it.
That's what the will called for. That's what the will called for. The executor of the will is supposed to execute. That's the that's the name executor, the will. They're supposed they they don't get to make this up.
And your sister your sister's been making it up. And so if I'm in your shoes, I'm gonna either go, screw it. It's not worth it. Y'all just take the money. I don't want it, and I'm gonna walk completely away and never think about it again.
Or I'm gonna just tell this guy, when you guys sell the house, I'll take my 4th, and no. I'm not signing anything until the house is sold.
Well, I feel like in many ways, you made that decision when you walked away from being an an executive
though. No. No. She didn't she didn't lose her rights. She just got out
of the phone.
Not saying that she lost her rights, but you clearly were worn slap out and were, like, whatever.
No. She didn't wanna stay in the day to day rub and tumble then. That's different than I
get it.
Yeah. Yeah. I I understand what you're saying.
I would
So, you know, the thing is here here's what you're here's what you're really struggling with, is you know how pissed off everybody's gonna be when you do this.
Well, they already are because they dropped the house below, at some or the the right now, the house is less below appraisal or or value because there's no more money to pay the mortgage. So which is fine. I don't care, but I don't want it taken off the market. My other conflict, Dave, that this is my sister is also the executor and the realtor, and this is 1 of our first house sells, which is another big time. And I've
She has the house listed?
Yes.
Oh, how many times can we spell conflict of interest?
Exactly. Okay. I just wanted to make sure, like, that's my thinking.
I don't I mean, I don't know how this attorney has kept his law license if he's allowing this.
Mhmm. Wow. Mhmm.
Wow. K. This probate attorney Do I
need
a He should be going, no, ma'am. You cannot do that. The attorney needs to be oh my god.
Is the attorney 1 of your siblings? No.
You guys are confirming everything that my husband and I have discussed. We've been following you since 2008. We became a 100% debt free in 2020. And
Here's the thing. I I would just say, listen. I'm not angry. Honor. I'm not angry about this.
This is not about revenge. I'm just asking Okay. Simply, very kindly and calmly, that you guys do what the will says, and we really ought to have a
lot of
need to hire an attorney?
No. You just don't need to sign it.
Okay. Okay.
If you want an attorney, you could go get 1 to get advice. I'm not an attorney. But if you just refuse to sign it and say, I my instructions as 1 of the heirs is for you to execute the will properly, and that means the house needs to be sold, not rented. I do not wanna be partners with these people 10 years from now in this house. I don't want the liability.
No. Thank you. Period. If they wanna buy me out, they can do that too, by the way.
That's a great idea.
But they
can't even pay the payments, so they're not gonna buy anybody out. This is the Ramsey Show. Jade Washall, Ramsey Personality is my co host today. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225.
Hey. We were talking about the real estate market a while ago, and how people are sidelined because they can't find a property because of supply. They can't they don't wanna walk away from their 2% loan, or they're waiting on the presidential election or whatever. Really, if you're ready to move, I wouldn't let any of those things hold me back personally. And if you need some help, get with 1 of the Ramsey trusted agents.
All you gotta do is go to ramseysolutions.com/realestate, and our guys can actually help you get a house sold or bought in this weird market, and help you, help you pull this thing off. Mhmm. The other thing you need to know as this particular, segment comes to a close, the show will continue on the Ramsey app, the Ramsey Network app. And, if you wanna get the entire show every day, YouTube or podcast or whatever, you can get video or podcast. You can get the whole thing on the Ramsey Network app free.
It doesn't cost a thing. Or, you know, if you're on talk radio, you're gonna get what you've always gotten, wherever it is. Not nothing has changed there. But a couple months ago, we made the shift to, the last, portion of the show is now on the Ramsey Network app. There was all kinds of data and, stuff that went into that decision.
And now that we are 60 days or so into that, it has proven to be true. So, our, YouTube, listenership or viewership is up.
Nice.
Our podcast, completion rate and everything is up. And we still got the same amount of content, and you go to Ramsey Network app. You need to get the whole thing there or at least the last segment there. If you haven't downloaded the Ramsey Network app for free, not we're not charging a thing for this. Okay?
You can go get it anytime you wanna go get it. So just go over to, the Apple Store or the Google Play or whatever you're gonna do, and download the app and and get the Ramsey Network app to get started. And so as this segment wraps up, we'll jump over to there with you. Or, again, if you're talk radio or whatever, you're you're gonna be what you're gonna get what you've always gotten exactly. Okay.
Amanda's in Washington DC. Hi, Amanda. How are you?
I'm great. How are you all doing today?
Better than we deserve. What's up?
Hey. So I have a question.
I, just discovered you all a couple months ago. Thank god. My husband and I are in about a total of 90,000, debt, And I'm full on board. Like, I don't plan on using, credit anymore ever. I do own a business, by the way, and, so we're going through trying to figure out how to get through the baby steps the best way.
But he asked me. He said, hey. If you don't plan on using debt ever again, why don't you just file for bankruptcy? And
What's a you part? Where's he? Why wouldn't it be we?
Yeah.
Is it business, though? Is that why he's looking at it that way?
Correct. Okay.
Well, no. We it's the 90,000 is inclusive of of everything, personal and business.
Okay. So why would you file bankruptcy and he wouldn't?
Well, I guess he's looking at it as as my debt rather than our debt, and that's part of us getting on board with everything ranging. Because before then, we didn't have our finances combined. So we're kind of still trying to change the language and everything like that.
Okay.
How long have you been married?
3 years this November.
Okay. And and break break the 90,000 in debt down for me a little bit. What are the major categories?
Yep. So I
I have the student loan, about 40 k in student loan.
Mhmm.
And then pretty pretty much the rest is just, like, credit cards and personal debt. There's no car. Well, no. Just a little bit of car. It's, like, 1900.
But it's pretty much just credit card debt.
And is the credit cards you're using to keep the business going? And what kind of business is it?
Yes. So 2 of them were used specifically for the business, and then the other were just personal between the, both of us.
Is the business profitable?
It is. It's it's getting there now. It's been open less than a year, and, you know, every
month there is not what I asked. Is are you making a profit this month?
Yes. Yes. Yes.
How much do you make this month profit?
Profit wise?
Yeah.
A little under $1,000.
Okay. So you currently have a $12,000 a year job, which puts you at the poverty level if you don't get this business moving. Mhmm. Which, You don't have a debt problem. You have an income problem.
No. So that's not the only job that I have.
Okay. Oh. Good. Good. Good.
I was gonna ask about that. I was gonna say this sounds a little bit more like a hustle until it's off the ground. Are you doing anything in the meantime? Okay. Great.
Yes.
So what do you do? What's your main job?
Yeah. What's your income?
My income is we bring about, 85100 to 9,000 a month together. Mhmm. I'm a nurse practitioner.
Okay. K.
And and that and so we have our income together, that you're but we don't have our debt together. So here's the thing. Student loans are not bankruptable.
Right. Okay.
So you have a $40,000 bankruptcy or $50,000 bankruptcy. You're talking about not a 90. And you make
Oh, okay.
And you make you're you're not gonna get relief from everything by filing bankruptcy. You're just gonna get relief from about half of it. And, do you own a home? Yes. K.
It's gonna be in jeopardy depending on how much equity you have. Do you have any equity in it?
Yes. About a 130 k is the last time I checked.
Okay. Alright. Do you actually live in DC, or do you live in Virginia?
No. Outside in in Maryland, actually.
In Maryland. Okay. Each okay. Just for fun of it, I'll explain to this to you, but it it's not gonna change our answer. But it's got but in knowledge, I'll help you.
Okay? So when you file bankruptcy, you surrender all of your assets to the court, and the court starts doling them back out to you. So the court would take ownership of your home, not formally, but technically. And then depending on what Maryland has, type that into Google real quick. What's the homestead exemption in Maryland, Jade Wolomyakken?
And, depending on what the homestead exemption is. In Tennessee, it's $7,500.
Okay?
And so the court would let you keep $7,500 of your house equity after they sold your house to pay your debt.
Oh, no. Yeah.
If you were in Tennessee. Now I don't know what it is in Maryland.
Right. Right.
But, in Texas, it's a 100%, and and, you get to keep all of it. It's exempt, and so is it in Florida. Okay? So each state's different. But let's say that it's 50,000 just for the fun of it.
Jade will have it in a minute. Okay? But basically, your home equity is gonna go to pay your debt is what I'm telling you. So your husband's suggestion is, based in not knowing what's gonna happen to you if you file bankruptcy. So you find homestead exemption and bankruptcy for Maryland.
It's there, but it's not clear.
It doesn't say what it is.
Let's see now.
It should
be just a little chart pop up.
I know.
Okay. Anyway, doesn't matter. You're gonna probably I'm out you unless they have a 100%, which I don't think they do, exemption.
Okay.
20,500,150. Kelly just found it in the booth. Sweet. Okay? So 75,000 of your home equity would go to pay your $50,000 worth of debt.
So you can't file bankruptcy. You'll lose your house, and it'll pay your debt.
Oh, shoot.
You'd just be selling your house to pay your debts. What you'd be doing?
You follow me? Definitely don't wanna
do that. No.
No. No.
And still end up with a stinking student loan debt.
No. It yeah. Correct.
Yeah. No. So bankruptcy is off the table. Okay? Even if it if that wasn't the case, you still wouldn't file bankruptcy when you have a $120,130,000 income on $50,000 worth of debt because the 40,000 student loan is not bankruptable anyway.
So even if you didn't lose your house, you wouldn't do that.
I mean, what if you guys just lived on 80,000 and paid it off in 2 years?
Yeah. So I've done all the math and everything. He was very hesitant, but he is going along now with the plan. Okay. Because I I we did this back in June.
Yeah. So I'm that's what I calculated. It was 24 to 26 months.
Mhmm.
That's what I had calculated.
And that's
assume that's how you are now. That's assuming you're not adding any extra income.
If your business your side hustle takes off and doubles, you do it in half you do it in 18 months.
That's right.
Exactly.
And so you need you guys need to get on beans and rice, rice and beans on a plan. You need to combine your debts, combine your household, combine your incomes, and combine your efforts, and focus and kill this. You're not bankrupt.
And if you're not using every dollar, you need get on every dollar because that is gonna be the foundation of all of this. If you don't have that, you're not gonna move at the speed you think you're gonna move.
Yeah. Hang on. We'll let them pick up and give you that for free. Okay? We want you to not file bankruptcy.
You're not bankrupt. You don't need to file bankruptcy.
What up? What up? It's doctor John Deloney from the doctor John Deloney Show with some amazing news. The latest episode of United States of Anxiety is available right now exclusively on the Ramsey Network app. This docuseries follows real people from my show as they embark on a 90 day journey to transform their lives, and I personally walk alongside them every step of the way.
Okay. Now here's a sneak peek of what the new episode is all about, and don't forget to click the link in the show notes to download the app. What's up, Kelsey?
So I've lived with crippling anxiety for as long as I can remember. How do I stop it from constantly coming up in different areas of my life?
What does crippling anxiety mean? Paint me a picture of that. Alright. So you ready to jump in?
I'm ready to jump
in.
So we're gonna check-in with Kelsey 30 days, 60 days, 90 days.
I cannot even function because I'm just crying. My mom
left us
when I was 4. I truly
felt like for a while I had no family.
She's experiencing things that really hurt a long time ago. Tell me about this boy.
He triggered me a lot.
Scared of losing Paul, scared of doing the wrong thing, scared of not being enough.
It just feels like it would be exhausting to be Kelsey. It is. Whenever somebody's playing whack a mole with their anxiety, when it just keeps moving, that tells me the underlying system's not okay.
How do I get my inner child out of this relationship? Because I feel like she's running the show.
1 of 2 people that's supposed to never leave took off.
How was this how was this burden?
A burden. That's right. To the 1 person who should carry
it, all of
it. Did you ever tell that little girl that it wasn't her fault?
I don't know what to do.
Do you either have to choose to let this guy love you or you gotta choose to let this guy go?