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I want to say, hey, hey, hey, you know, the other night, Rory and I, it was it Rory and I.

We were lying in bed, it was late at night, you know, like falling asleep time or watching a Columbo. And under the covers, I'm kind of I'm my hand is on my vagina, I'm going to be honest, I'm touching it a little kind of, but I'm not consciously thinking about it. And he lifts up the covers and sees that and is like, oh, yeah, nice. And I was like, what?

I wasn't in a having sex mood at all.

And then I had to explain to him, it's just like comfort and as odd as that sounds, I know it's not odd because he and so many men constantly have their hands on their balls.

I mean, I don't think I've ever been with a man whose hand wasn't tickling his balls in a kind of. Safety like a like a security blanket, it's a it's it's like a transitional object, like a like a security blanket is, you know, you watch TV and you kind of like gently tickle your balls.

You're not jerking off. It's just comfort. So that's what I was doing. You know, just because my hand was on my vagina doesn't mean I'm in the mood for sex.

It just it was just I was just comforting myself in that same way. It was so weird because to have to explain to him what it was, was just what he does. You know, we were laughing because I just go, this is how I also watch TV. But I do have a fear of I heard the term for it. What's it called sexual senility or I don't know what it is, but it's I mean, I don't know what it's called exactly.

But my biggest fear is like becoming senile in my old age and masturbating in public. It is really it's a I have a fear of that, like I feel like that seems like something that might happen to me and I hope that it doesn't any who will.

Oh, I've got an update on Jack's eyewear. So a bunch of people have called in since the election who had watched my Hulu show, I Love You America. And I had told you before I had did this.

I had done I had did I did this segment at this eyewear place called Jackass Eyewear that has the best glasses. But this guy, Jack, is just out of his mind, Trump said, and he insisted on shaking on if. If Trump loses, he'll give me 10 free glasses, frames.

I want to put money on it. I'll get you. I'll bet you temper's the glasses for free. The Trump will get re-elected. OK, temper's glasses or are you going to put your glasses?

I don't know which ones. I got over this stuff for ten. Fifteen grand. Temper's the glasses. I guarantee you he gets re-elected or you pay. This is on for you pay double. You got it.

Well, well, well. People have been calling in and saying, did you get those glasses frames.

Well we called and called and called Jacques's eyewear and we just kept getting like doo doo doo the number you have called blah blah blah.

We're like, fuck man, are they closed?

What's the story then out of the blue, I'm going to read you a text exchange.

But I had to print it really big so I can see because I don't know my glasses, so.

Oh, after calling Jacks, I swear to no avail and kind of giving up on it, I get a text. It just says, who dis. Oh no. It says, what up w a t up. And it's from just a phone number. I don't know who it is. So I write who dis.

Then he wrote you called me.

Then I look at the number and I realize that's the number we've been calling for. Jacks, I swear it's Jack must have been his cell phone that he didn't hook up or something.

I said Yes Jack it's Sarah s I want to call you tomorrow from my podcast. You want to? He says. Yes, what up, OMG, I'm in Delaware till mid-March, OK? I said you never pick up at this. No, he said closed store August twenty nineteen. What great luck.

I said, what? And then I said, is this your cell, if I call you at five thirty your time, will you pick up tomorrow, Jack?

Then he responds, finally, did you not do enough damage already old customers calling me all kinds of shit for being conservative and crazy Hollywood?

I said, No, I didn't. Then I sent a smiley face, to be honest, he writes by and I don't hear from him, but I write no call tomorrow or ever.

This is it. I can't believe your store is gone, end of an era. I'm trying to, like, get them to respond. I said, do you have a shop in Delaware? He said, no, I doing other stuff may open later. Lay dead for a few years.

Of course, he thinks L.A. is going to be dead for a few years because just shitty crooked Biden will be president.

He said, what's up with Bob? I said, Who's Bob? He says, your battery operated boyfriend. Ha ha ha ha.

I said to Shay, and then in parentheses, he's great, thanks for asking, he said, you stepped into that one again. Now I'm going like the bully route because I really want him to call into the podcast, which I'll tell you right now. I don't think is going to happen. I said, well, I'm sorry, you're afraid to come on my podcast tomorrow.

He said, I thought this was, by the way, last last week when I'm saying tomorrow was a week ago or, you know, whatever week and a half ago, he says, I don't know why he's typing this way, but I'm reading it.

I guess you would say sick as I see, I heading to Washington, D.C. on 6th Big Trump rally for re-election. I said your guy lost big league, pal, and you know what that means. And then I don't hear anything.

And then in all caps, I write ten pair of free glasses. He says, just watch and see all that fraud all coming out in the open. Peeps go into jail. I said, yes, I agree, people will be going to jail. He said, watch and see. I said, I will, but only because you said so. He says nothing.

I say, I'll get those ten pair when you're back in L.A. because I know you're a man of your word.

Yes, nothing. Then I say be careful on the 6th, maybe put your Magga hat over your yarmulke, then nothing. Then the sixth happens.

Then I send him the picture of the that long haired and bearded guy with the camp Auschwitz hoodie. And I said, this is who you marched with.

And then he said, You funny? I did not go anywhere. Too lazy, too cold, too far a drive. And one moron does not make everyone else. Yes, the camp Auschwitz guy was the he was the bad apple there, I'm sure.

But the too lazy to cold thing is interesting because I remember my sister Laura said, you know, they're going to start a civil war and then they're just going to miss their TVs and want to go home.

But I don't know.

I said, well, I'm glad that you didn't go. He said, How sweet. I did not realize you cared for me so much. I said, I do. He said, Oh, my God. I go into hiding, I got me a stalker, I said it's just a little bit of care, friend, and then nothing, nothing, nothing. And then last night I decided to poke the bear just in case anything else came out.

And I wrote Good didn't thing you didn't go because you'd be on the no fly list. But he hasn't written back.

Was that something you wanted to hear? I don't know. I know. I'm never sure.

But that was the. So for people curious and interested, that's that's the so far the outcome of that.

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Hey Sarah. So when you did I love you America, you were showing that hopefully there's more that unites us than divides us. And since that show premiered, we've had about the most divisive, divisive take your pick a time they both work ever that we can remember, culminating in a new low yesterday, a real new low. I'm just wondering where your head is that on that whole question of how united or divided we are right now and going forward?

Thanks.

I do believe that. We're more. Connected then were not connected. I do believe that. You know, right now what we're experiencing is the farthest reaching digital cult that's ever been, I think.

And of course. It's it enlists people's rage and it's not based in truth. It's a cult, it's the liars and the lied to, as I say all the time, you know. And certainly Trump's reign has emboldened. Racists to be outwardly racist, we know that, and that's awful, but also like. It's like a white head, you know, it's it's now easier to see and expose and pop. I hope, you know, as a Jew, I would say that.

We prefer our anti-Semitism outward to be outward, to be blatant, because you can point to it.

It's not just a gas in the air and I think there's a similarity here if I'm going to be hopeful about it.

But again, and I believe a lot of these Trump cultists, Maga heads, Kuhnen maniacs, are involved with this more than anything. One, they've been radicalized by social media, again, the farthest reaching digital cult.

The farthest reaching cult because of digital media, because of social media. And with social media really not caring, you know, until last until Wednesday, the 6th. Finally, the end of democracy was palpable enough for them to see what they have been complicit in, to say the least. But in terms of reach, you know, they say freedom of speech is not freedom of speech, and I think what they mean by that and Rory, Rory, Rory put it best, I think, because he goes, you know, it's just like how?

The Second Amendment was written when we had muskets and sure, there should still be a Second Amendment, but certainly it needs to be amended for now for for weapons of war and everything that we have access to, it needs to be amended as all. In that same way, the First Amendment, freedom of speech, also a vital freedom. Was written like the Second Amendment was written when there were just muskets, the First Amendment was written when people were standing on, you know, stools and, you know, preaching to anyone who could hear from, you know, the sound of their voice.

That was the reach they had. Now they're the reach is infinite. And so misinformation. Of course, we know spreads far faster and wider than truth, and that's when it becomes dangerous and then we need to.

Yeah. We need to amend it, my whole career is based on freedom of speech. But, you know, like in Germany, we learned what happened, what what propaganda does, what lies do? That has to stop, there has to be definitive, objective truth, we used to have a shared truth.

There used to be news that wasn't all opinion channels, 24 hour opinion channels disguised as news. And I'm not just talking about Fox News. I'm talking about MSNBC, too.

But, you know, agenda driven. Obviously, I lean towards MSNBC, but I think they're both opinion, their op ed channels that need to incite rage to get ratings 24 hours a day. That's not healthy for us.

Well, I got so into what I was saying. I forgot what I was saying, that a shared truth.

Remember when news was just like what happened, the facts of the day, and then you decide what you think about it. Local news, local papers, all those things that are being wiped out.

They gave us a shared baseline truth. Oh. I'm not going to lie, I'm glad there are consequences, I got a little schadenfreude from the no fly list videos yesterday coming out.

I'm happy that domestic terrorists are being treated like domestic terrorists. That makes me hopeful. You know, these are all sorts of people. That have one thing in common, aside from blatant racism, which, you know, can you say aside from blatant racism, aside from racism? And by the way, not all of them are racist, which is irrelevant because most of them are and the rest go along with it. So what's the difference? So why go along?

Who are these extra people, the people that go along with it?

In my opinion, you know, you got to remember that hate groups, Magga Kuhnen heads, these people form friendships and a feeling of belonging. And. Camaraderie that I think they've never experienced before. It's a sacred feeling and it becomes. Far more important, far more precious, far more sacred than facts. Because it feels like love, even if they get that pang in their gut, that a. This may be is a no good. That may be what they're involved in is based on a big lie on lies.

They don't want to lose that sense of belonging to something, not to mention the very realistic fear of repercussions. You know, this is disseminated down from a leader who is whose power comes from people knowing that he is vindictive.

You know, their daddy taught them that. But I think that. A feeling of belonging overrides everything to them, it's human, I think. People find belonging anywhere they find it in hate groups, just like they find it in the drama club. Just like they find it at at Comic-Con or the progressive movement. Or social justice on the left, these people now have friends and a community and they fight the man and it feels like justice, it just so happens that it's based on lies.

Again, the liars to me are different than the lied to. There has to be justice.

There has to be consequences for the criminals and the liars and the leaders, especially the leaders. For those stuck in the middle, swept up in the mob. Of course, no one knows them this, but I feel it is a mitzvah. If you have the space for it inside yourself to tell some of these people, look. You want to get out of this insanity? Join us. Come sit next to us at the cafeteria, the proverbial.

High school cafeteria. Join us. You have a place with us. I don't know, I'm a member of the Progressive Party, I'm a democratic socialist, but I, I find that it can be elitist.

And I think if we're progressive, we believe in progress. And if we believe in progress, we we believe in change and and. I believe that people can change the micro. The macro change follows the micro change, one person, you know, people. So come on, join us. We got lots of places for you to put your misplaced anger. We have that, too, you know, it's just for things that are based in reality and what is true, I mean, what they're doing now.

You know, storming the Capitol, planning more violence. I saw something at Screengrab from Parler that they're planning something on the 17th and Trump, you know, planning something right along with them on the 20th. I'm not downplaying the danger of them. At all, this is real fucking danger. But make no mistake, it's cosplay. These are like Civil War reenactments. Rory said it perfectly, it's laughing. That's live action role playing there. Laughing I'm not minimizing it, I'm just saying this is crazy because it comes from that excitement, that kind of joy.

Laughing Their role playing. Aren't we all? To a degree. But it is real. It's just it's it's stupid. It's real, but it's stupid. But what violence is and based in. What you don't know, you know, knowledge is power, but the lack of of knowledge gives you numbers very malleable, very useful to bad actors. You know, a lot of this conspiracy stuff and stuff to ignite fear and rage came right to these people's feeds, right to their phones, right into placed in their social media stream for a reason.

Indoctrinated them right to their phones. Now, finally, thank God, it's not because of Facebook and Twitter ending this finally. But, man, I just I hope for a baseline truth again. I really do. People are making too much money from outraged click bait, blah, blah, blah, we need earnest regulations that care about truth. Whatever. But Facebook and Twitter finally saying no to some blatant lies and misinformation will help immensely. And they can people can now they can find belonging in a, you know, a knitting group on Facebook or a Mandalorian fan group on Facebook, I will all join that.

What else we got, Sarah, wondering which Star Wars character you feel like you would play the best. Assuming that it's Jabba the Hutt, hey, are you being mean to me, are you being funny? I don't know. Irrelevant, but no, it's not Jabba the Hutt. I don't want to be some scummy mob boss that doesn't even get to fly around the galaxy, the outer rim of the galaxy, you know, I've never been a Star Wars person.

Obviously, I loved Han Solo growing up. But I you know, I wasn't really deeply into it. But I love the Mandalorian. And I do fantasize about being on the Mandalorian, I would want to be maybe a Mandalorian, a bounty hunter, but I don't know. Maybe just someone like a flyer. A fighter. But I like the minutia, like Jon Favreau, just he created a masterpiece because there is comedy moments and there's moments of little there's space for like little things.

I'd love to be like a fighter pilot, but be like. Are you hungry? Did you eat something you want to? I don't. Do you want a sweater? You know, I always have a sweater because at a certain point, I just thought I never have to be cold. This is ridiculous. So I always bring a sweater.

Layer's is the key. That would be my Mandalorian character, but then also would like, you know, fight and save and fix things or something. You know what else we got?

Oh my God, this sucks so much. And I don't know what to do. But fuck, I mean, just fuck. Why did this happen? I have a lot of feelings and I don't like that I have all of these feelings that I wish I had fewer feelings because I'm either feeling everything or I'm feeling nothing and everything fucking sucks. And I am 16 and nothing makes sense. And this is what I've come to expect of government. And I wasn't even surprised by what happened yesterday.

And now there are terrorists and I'm scared. Oh, sweetie, you're just young and don't understand. Go back to worrying about the prom. Go back to worrying about the prom you can't go to because of incompetent federal leadership, no.

Wow, that is so cool that a 16 year old kid is calling in and so in it, you know. I fucking love that generation. I love those fuckin Tic-Tac kids. They're mind blowing, there's they do social activism with such humor. Wow, I really sounded old with such humor. I know you are confused and erratic and emotional, and those are all the things you should be, you're doing it right.

I think you're right on track for 16 and. And I'm counting on you, man, this generation Z is going to save us all millennials are human garbage. Calan, I'm sorry, no hashtag, not all millennials, but they really they're just so entitled and they stink.

But the ones after them this generation Z. I'm crazy about them, man. They give me hope.

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He really sounds like a grown man, like middle age at youngest. Are women wet when they're turned on? No, no, you're doing everything right. Don't change a thing. Who wants viscosity when they can just. Have a bone dry. Just the friction of. Dry, a dry hole. All right, stop, cut out when I say bone dry hole, that's grounds to. Oh, but it is making me giggle. Which is good if I make this face when I giggle, oh.

It's for people who are watching on YouTube. What else, Sarah? Hi there from Nancy Goldstein, quadrupling the queer and Jewish population in Behere de la Frontera, Spain. So the question is this. Watching the news today, seeing Speaker Pelosi call for the resignation of the heads of the Capitol Police, seeing a bunch of people trying to save their reputation by resigning from Trump's staff.

This woman knows the benefits of coconut oil and hope seeing President elect Joe Biden talk about the fact that obviously Black Lives Matter protesters have been treated very differently. So here's my question. I feel hope.

Should I be old enough to know better? Hey, thanks so much. Well, that's kind of what I was saying to I I'm I feel the same way I have not let myself feel particularly good or hopeful about anything the past. You know, since 2016, I'm always like, let's just get past January, get make sure he's in office safely, make sure our democracy is still intact, and then I will celebrate, but.

I've really loved seeing these domestic terrorists treated like domestic terrorists. Felt good, felt like justice. It made me feel good and probably it's better to feel hopeful because what's the alternative?

A lot of times you go, well, I don't want to get my hopes up. I don't want to get too excited.

But then if you don't get excited about something and it falls through like you worried it would, you never felt excited. You never got that moment. On the other hand, you know, you don't want to set yourself up for disappointment. I get it.

OK, I think it's I'm going to say I think it's good to feel hopeful. Yeah. Just not smug. That's the key hopefull. Not smug, I understand the schadenfreude of those no fly videos, especially with the Goodfellows ending theme, the Lailah music to it anyway.

But no, we got our fucking smug smiles wiped right off our faces in 2016.

But, yeah, I think we're in a place where we should take the wins, where we get I mean, a week in the capital was stormed.

The storming of the capital completely overshadowed the incredible victory of John USCIRF and Reverend Raphael Warnock.

I can't fucking believe they won in Georgia. I mean, this is the first black person and the first Jew ever to be elected to the Senate in Georgia, the first Jew ever to be elected in the South.

It's fucking awesome. And it's changing. It's going to change the trajectory. It's going to give Biden a chance to actually make a difference because it gives them the Senate.

And now we don't have Mitch McConnell.

Just stopping every effort of progress, boy, despite racist attempts to, you know, darken Warnock's color of his face in ads, and they made Osofsky nose bigger in a in a in an ad, I just the fact that that is what they wanted to use to influence people.

Is saying that they thought Georgians are racist and Georgians said, fuck you. It was pretty exciting.

I mean, it's probably also held by Trump telling his supporters not to vote because the voting doesn't make a difference and it's all rigged anyway, that probably that probably helped us.

Man, he's fucked up. He does not give a fuck. That is just proof that he does not give a fuck.

About this country, if he believed that being Republican is righteous and he would have helped, he doesn't care.

He's leaving, he doesn't give a fuck. He wants to throw parties for himself. He's in it for Igoe exclusively. He is an agent of chaos, period. Contrary, he doesn't give a fuck. He wants to throw parties for himself, that he wants to throw parties for himself, lying at rallies and cheating at golf. That's what he does. So I say, yes, feel hope, but don't be cocky about it. Don't be a dick about it.

But yeah, I'm hopeful, too. What else we got? Hi, Sarah.

I saw a video you made when Snicker's did a campaign where each of the letters of Snicker's was separately on each candy bar, and you spelled out a Jewish racial slur as a joke, which I took as a joke, I am leaving you a message because I cannot find that video. Not for any good reason, just bothers me when I can't find something. So what did they ask you about it?

Thank you. I don't. I don't remember that, but I'm sure I did it, I'm sure I do, I vaguely remember that with Snickers.

I spilled cake and I posted it in.

And you're right, you're never going to find that video. There's no way, because if you Google Sarah Silverman and Chike.

Thousands of things will come up before you find that video. Six million different posts will come up before that video comes up.

But here's a fun fact.

Chike, the SLU, Chike, as well as the Asian slurry that starts with the sea, are both slurs that are unimaginable, as they say that, right?

Because they come from the sound of the language, Chike is because Hebrew is like, ha ha ha ha, because like to an asshole's ear, it just sounds like Chike fun fact. All right. What else?

I was just thinking out loud here. Does a convicted felon president in prison still receive Secret Service protection? Just wondering out loud, I don't know, this shit's unprecedented, he's on impeachment number two. I think that's going to mean that he can't. Run again. I don't know if it means he loses his title or his security detail. These are unprecedented times, but I would like him to go to prison.

I feel, you know, I've conflicted. Gut feelings about feeling that way towards a person, but I would like him to go to prison, real prison. Not fancy prison, hard prison, the kind of prison his friends make money from. You know, maybe Lindop. Committing suicide in jail.

You know, Jeffrey Epstein's style murder style, Putin's favorite suicide murders, murders called suicides, is people falling out a window or being poisoned.

So we'll see. But I would like to see him go to a real, real prison, you know, the truth is for him, he'd probably be better served to be kicked out with the 25th Amendment because then he probably would just go to a loony bin. That's probably not politically correct to say a mental facility. I know it's negative, but I just really want to see him go to prison and I want to see him go. I want to watch him walk in with no hair or makeup.

All right.

What else? Hi, Sarah. It's Andy from Australia. Yeah. I just got to say, I've been watching the news from America lately and. A lot of global calls. What really surprised me was the number of those Trump supporters who. Just vile, anti-Semitic, just Nazi stuff on their clothes and, you know. And how are people still pushing this? You know, evil Jew conspiracy. I know, you know, it's obviously something that's close to you and your family and everybody.

So many people in the entertainment industry and just everywhere. But I really don't get it. The only Jewish people I've ever known in my life have all been lovely people. What the hell is thank God, where does it come from? Is it is it religion or is it just jealousy? Is it because Jewish people like to speak in their own community that people get a kind of all they're up to something viable? Oh, man. Well, anyway, I hope you're safe and I hope all your family are doing well and are safe and away from that fear that.

OK, bye. That's very sweet. I'm glad his small sampling of Jews were delightful. Listen, I've known some unsavory Jews were if that was my only sampling of Jews, I'd be like, these Jews are awful, but I still don't think I would be that way.

I think a lot of these people have maybe never even met a Jew, but it's it goes far beyond that, which is a very simple question and a very difficult answer.

I.

And I hate that America's most recent famous Jewish names have been like Weinstein and Epstein, you know, why couldn't they have been the ones who changed their names to be less Jewish?

Why couldn't our Jewish name recognition be Wynona Horowitz or Natalie Hirsch or Jeff Schultz?

Although I think LifeShield Jeff did a good job just going to Jeff Ross, because that one was that's a doozy. John Liebowitz. Trump loved pointing out that Jon Stewart's real last name was Liebowitz, you know, he wasn't making fun of the fact that Jon changed his name.

He was making fun. He was exposing a Jew because Trump, the Trump family, changed their name.

It was drum. No, he was exposing. He was exposing that he's a Jew, as if Jon Stewart doesn't very openly talk about being a Jew. I asked my Silverman's United Family Group chat last night, and my sister Jodine said, like, maybe it boils down to the killing Jesus aspect, you know, which is just funny that I get it. Jews killed Jesus, but there were only Jews back then. That's like hating Jews for killing Jesus is like hating humans for killing Jesus.

They were all Jews, the whole world was Jews back then. Now we're one fifth of one percent of the world. But do we complain? Yes, but why Jews, I don't know, I mean, so many dog whistles, so many, you know, George Soros, I first heard of George Soros from these Jew haters, you know.

You know, it's like this dog whistle. For Jewish conspiracy people, George Soros, by the way, an amazing turns out an incredible human being who has given, like most of his wealth to wildly humane causes. You know, it's like the same people that you know, think that. Bill Gates wants to put a chip in all of us, the guy cure, you know, gave money to cure malaria. He he does. He's unbelievable with anything.

Q Conspiracy's, you know, to we run the banks, we control the weather, we're I think Kuhnen says we're we're trying to enslave the planet. Which is part of the elders of Zion anyway, you know, it's like it's like we're mythical creatures, you know, we're we're like this devil, you know, we've got horns, right?

It's just bananas, so Jodine.

Yes, she said, well, read the protocol, the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, which is this fucking bananas conspiracy book funded by Henry Ford, American industrialist and just absolute Jew hater, published in the early nineteen hundreds.

And it details the Jewish plan for global domination. Jesus Christ. And Jodine says it's like a book that's always in print. It always sells out like Mein Kampf does. World domination. That's us. I mean, there's barely any of us. We're in the Qimonda business, you know, I did that finding your roots thing show and my entire lineage is cobblers and pedlars and dressmaker's, literally. None of them were in the world domination business unless there's some connection between, like world domination and discount women's clothing.

The Jews, our bankers thing, Suzzy, Rabbi, Soozie, sister, Rabbi, Soozie, that she told me that the the Jews as bankers thing comes from a real thing in that Jews were forbidden to work.

It comes from ancient Europe. In an ancient Europe, Jews were forbidden to work.

Now, where that hatred of Jews comes, I don't know, she said, you know, it's because. Never having a homeland, you know, Jews are nomads, so they're always guests. In other people's countries, you know, and also we're hard to define, you know, she was saying it's like like I said, I think that a number of their episodes, like Jews, like, what are we? Are we a race or we are religion?

Are we a nationality? Are we a ethnicity? You know, are we a floor wax? Are we a breakfast cereal so that people don't like when they can't put you in a box, you know?

So anyway, yeah, the ancient Europe Jews were unable, they were not allowed to work, so they survived by becoming moneylenders.

I wonder if that's any connection to lender's bagels, because when I grew up in New Hampshire.

All I knew of bagels were these flat, incredibly Gwilliam frozen bagels, and I loved them. They were called lender's bagels. I was my only experience with bagels until I was 18. I loved them, though, but I didn't know better.

But I digress. OK, Dad, we're winding down. This is this is the beyond the Danimal. Of this show, I'm about to say it, you know what I'm going to say, subscribe and review wherever you listen to podcasts and check us out on YouTube if you want to watch it with your goddamn eye holes.

And that's the show. All right, Dad. Good. I'm about to say goodbye. I want to say, hey, I got.