I'm exposing myself. You always followed through and shot in my mind.

Not where he was having an affair in the house. Wait, whoa, whoa. Just shot myself. Just shat myself. I need a tissue. Why have you never told me this story? That's fucking huge. Wow. I sold 80 million albums out of my jaw to this person. This asshole. Asshole. Welcome back to the Because podcast, my name is Alfreda Days and this is Episode two. Now, firstly, I just want to say thank you so much for all of the support with last week's very first episode.

Like I hoped that it would go well. I was nervous. I was excited. I was scared. I was worried. But the support and love it received was unbelievable. And as I'm recording this, like, I don't even know how this Israel I'm grinning so much as I'm saying this because it just doesn't feel like a reality.

The Secret Out podcast is currently set and no one in the charts. So thank you so much for all the support. Honestly, totally wasn't expecting it.

Now, if you did miss Episode one and you're not quite sure how the secret that works. I've been sent a ton of anonymous secrets from the public and invited some of the biggest celebrities to go through them with me.

And as well as hearing some of the most outrageous secrets that have been sent in by the public, my guests share some unbelievable stories from their personal lives, too. If you haven't already subscribed or followed along with the podcast, please make sure you do.

It only takes a second of your time and you'll be notified every single week when a new episode goes up.

I don't even know how to say this without it just sounding ridiculous. I'm so bloody excited to say that. Joining me today is Robbie and Aida Williams. Like I recorded this episode in their house, I was literally sat in their bedroom. Imagine me. OK, picture this one got me sat in the middle in their bedroom. We got Robbie on one side just casually, you know, Robbie Williams the other side. We got just casually Ida Williams and we discuss in secrets from guests and their lives.

It was the most surreal experience. I'm so bloody excited for you to hear this episode. It's also worth mentioning that, of course, we weren't breaking any rules.

This episode was recorded prior to lockdown. Right. I'm going to stop speaking so we can jump into the episode. I hope you enjoy it.

My name's Robbie Williams, I'm an Aquarius, born on February the 13th in a town in a place called Stoke-On-Trent, and I was a very average child until I auditioned for a boy band called Take that Night in the hugely successful. Then I fell out with them and I did loads of drugs and I got really angry. And then they fired me and I left. And then I started my own solo career. And fortunately I happened to write a song called Angels, which went really well and started a trajectory that I could not believe beyond my wildest dreams.

Believe the words were rich beyond my wildest dreams. And now here I am, a middle aged pop star with my new middle aged wife.

And I have three children and I'm having the most content and best time of my life so far. That's me in a nutshell. Wow, that was good.

I was amazed. I mean, that was that was impressive. I don't know. I don't really want to add to that. I am I am HETFIELD Field Williams, a.k.a. Swiss Army wife, your partner of 14 years. I am an actress once thriving, now bit more dormant and mother to our three children, a patient loving wife with some eccentricities and some neuroses and, um, all around Funtime Gal.

I was on a plane, yeah, and I get gaseous understatement above 20000 feet, you get you get gaseous at any any thousand feet. So we've all been subject to that.

But I was holding it in and it was. Impossible to not hurt myself. You didn't want to inflict harm on yourself by holding it in any longer above 90 percent of the floor the entire time.

They only put Aer Lingus, if that's what any flight is about. You were flying.

You're the only person I was home is me.

Yeah, I like I like how you framed this one, ok. Anyway, so altruistic as you are. So I had to get rid because I on this flight with you because.

No you weren't because you fart a lot when I'm on flights with you. Is that because you don't want to inflict any more pain on yourself. I'm very good with not fall in on public flights now.

I like how on private planes, which are even smaller, there's less, less absenteeism because you don't want to do it because you don't want other people to think badly of you.

You don't mind if we're suffocating those that know and love you because I'm paying for the whole plane.

I'm paying.

I own this space. You the whole of this. But what happened to the democracy of everyone sat in there? What about, by the way, I own 50 percent of that space.

You own probably 51 percent of that space. So you should check with me next year anyway.

So I needed to get rid of the gas. Yeah. And what I do is so that nobody can hear it's me.

I have a sort of like to think a silencer where I just I just pull the trigger. I know the chief, but just let me finish the story in the visual post.

But you've just explained semi left cheekbone. Yeah, my left cheek. Yes. Yes, that's a silencer. And it's not for me depoliticizing. Sorry for me it midpoints.

It's definitely a silencer. I'm forty five. I'm really good at this now.

OK, it's not a silencer because I hear it every time. Then that's when I go. Did you just keep your fart because it's not silent anyway.

So I pulled the cheek. Paul. Yeah.

Let's serious eye contact going on right now as well.

Let Restor and followed through and shot in my mind for age. Oh it was last year. It was last year.

So fortunately I got none of it on the fabric. Was it still silent? Yeah, but it was in my hand. OK, I'll do it. Tit for shit with you. I asked me a secret.

I gave you a bloody good secret. I'll give you the tone. I'm excited. Feels like.

OK, well, mine's mine's similar. I mean, obviously it doesn't land in my hand, but.

But I went to a belief that this was years ago on a girls a girl's birthday party. Sorry everybody.

And we went to. Are you getting your nicotine gum out? I mean, I'm having a cigarette.

Wow. Anyway, so we went to this fish restaurant on the beach and I started to eat the food and I was like, I'm not I'm not feeling too good. And everyone's like, you, OK? And I was like, no, I'm just not feeling great. I just my stomach's a bit upset. So anyway, we went we went to go to the market to, I don't know, pick up times and get some. What are that.

You're you're it's an English ice cream layered thing, not a it's in a box, it's a tennis ball on the exact one, you know, the one I'm talking about.

Never had it in there. Like you've never had that. You've got to get you that. I don't know why am I like three flavors?

Yes. And I don't know why I'm not feeling good and I'm already not feeling good out. Why this big push for the like the dairy ice cream? But we go into this.

Mercato is Super Mercato and and we're walking down the aisle.

And I was like some days ahead and I was like, oh, I feel better. And a bit of gas came out. I was like, oh. And I looked down and it wasn't just gas that came out.

I had actually shipped myself a little bit in the supermarket and there was just a drop.

I know. And I was like and I was it was horrible. It's awful. I was looking for napkins. So then I came waddling down the aisle.

I mean, it was it was very indiscernible, but I knew what it was.

And I then was frozen produce or was it fresh produce that you shot? It was it was Boksburg. There was nothing fresh or live.

They were in the ice cream section. I came waddling through going, I need a tissue and a tissue and tissue right now. I've just shat myself. I've just shat myself. I need a tissue.

So then we went running for the and I did clean up and then I had to waddle to the pub and take off what was my bathing suit underneath and go, you know, natural under my feet.

And I think what we've done is actually a public service because the two secrets that have come out just fine for you, because everyone knows you're disgusting.

But I've just said that I've shat myself in a supermarket.

This this will mean a lot to women out that I've done it. Yeah. I don't think that many women have done it. I have a big favour. I was going to go with something slightly more tame, but then I think the ego in me wanted to outfit your shit. I'm not sure I outshouted your shit, but I think you did.

On the floor.

On the floor in a foreign country. Yeah, I did clean it, though. I doubt Rob cleaned his. I have to say, I guess you had to I didn't I could have. I could have. I could have meandered off, just left it there, but I just didn't think that was right.

All I'm saying is that the alcoholic wipes are your friend.

But, you know, I think the difference is, though, I think I might be a better person because mine was due to illness. Yours was due to just selfishness.

Yeah, but that's an illness, too. But it's like an illness that you can get in trouble for.

I had just come home from Clubine and was royally pissed, my boyfriend is currently university, so I hadn't had sex in a while. Started texting him about how much I wanted it and the things he could do to me. Five minutes later, I got a text from my mom with the words wrong person Beebs.

I was so embarrassed and we've never spoken of it since.

Do you know it's, by the way, just weird in that situation. If that was in my family, my mother texting me.

Yeah. Oh yeah. It would. It would honestly. That's even worse, isn't it. Just isn't it just. Yeah.

Well I'm not calling bullshit that's all. That's, that's, that's where I always think it's the Beeb's wrong person Beebs. I mean I don't know what I would do if that was if I had texted my mother or my father or anyone I knew instead of the person I was trying to have sex with. I mean, would you chat to them about it? Surely it's more awkward, the fact that they've never discussed it. I know it's there. Surely people have to be like, well, let's go for coffee.

Well, and just fuckin chat about it, because this is weird.

And I just want to get it done and settled now because I come from a heavily Catholic family that never talked about any of that stuff. Yeah. And I don't know how much I've still retained of that because my children are still very young. I don't know what will happen when they're 15, 16, 17, 18. I don't know who I am then, but I know that I was the person that whilst I was watching the TV and I was with my mom and if anybody kissed, it would make it would be like to leave the room.

Yes.

So I'm not sure. I mean, you're much better with that stuff.

I mean, because I'm from California and we're all like we talk about our feelings constantly and because I have kind of a hippie mother who I would say is.

Sexually dominant. I have no choice but to confront these things, like I remember when my mom, my mom was actually writing a book called Sex After 60, which still makes me a bit sick in the school.

It's well, it isn't it isn't necessary unless it's your mom and she's talking about fucking people.

So first chapter anyway, so she when she did this bad sign up to a dating profile and she actually ticked as one of the settings up for casual sex. No.

Yes, she's that chick. So then she was like just completely diluted with just just inundated with just sexual propositions. And my mom I remember one time I was on the treadmill, she stopped me. Just kind of I really need to talk to you. It was like the like only 30 minutes I had to work out. But she was like traumatized. She's like, it's an emergency. And I'm like, OK. She was like, what is polyamorous mean?

And I was like, well, I think it means when someone just loves whatever sex, sexually fluid where she goes because there's a man who's 18 and he wants to meet me and he wants to be in a polyamorous situations. But the things he was talking about doing and and so on and so forth. And I've definitely had to take you were there on that holiday when I had to take pictures, topless pictures of mom as she was trying to get laid.

So I feel like in my family for her profile. So is she going to listen to this with it?

And she's just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, might help her out. Well, she's in a relationship in a relationship now.

But this this actually reminds me of a friend of mine that was dating somebody. And the dating got very, very serious. And it was obvious that they were wandering into a firm relationship. But he also wanted to come back to my house to hang out with me. So he texted me to say, mate, in five minutes, phone me and tell me there's an emergency at the house and I have to come back.

And he sent that text to his girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, heard superoxide, yeah, that's so bad, yeah, I think that's worse than that than the original.

Yes, yeah. Is uh yeah.

I've never heard anything like that. What about. Oh what about when that chick told you that she had herpes and that you give it to her.

Yeah, I guess I was getting this, I was getting these taglines who happened to be my brother's friend when you broke up with me. So nice.

I was getting these texts from this girl saying, bring me. And I didn't want to because I wasn't interested. And then was like, ring me. And then it's really important, ring me.

And then she said, after about five text, fine, if you really need to know, you've given me herpes.

And of course that got my attention. So I went straight to the doctors, straight to the doctors and had it all checked out.

Absolutely clean as a whistle. Miraculous.

Thankful for that. Miraculously thankful. Yes. So I sent a picture to her of the results and said, congratulations. You've just basically told me you've got herpes. That's a showstopper, isn't it? OK, I'm going to read the next secret, OK? Oh, OK, this one says, My wife doesn't know I made adult films of both of us to fund our wedding. Would you sit with that for a second? I wish I hadn't have sent that in.

Yeah, I was about to say I'm I'm thoroughly disappointed in you.

Honestly, you could have just you could have just dipped into some kind of savings.

Do you think that's real, that someone actually film adult films? I mean, I kind of thought when I first saw that this person said I made adult films of themselves, but but an adult film of them to fund the wedding of themselves, then I think that's I mean, you still want to chat about your past.

It's still a child. You know that. But I think I think what's happened here is that she's.

Do you think this is Kim Kardashian second husband? I think she's expecting so much from her marriage and the wedding day.

Are you blaming this on the woman, on the unsuspecting woman who has painted himself into a corner and wants to do everything that you can for his beautiful future wife?

Are you just out how to do it?

And the only thing that he's got is this really how you justify it is because I hold my head. It's OK that she is an unsuspecting victim of a porn video that has been sold to fund their wedding.

Also, how did he not make money from that? Surely you can't just pop it online and make a lot of money was all free now and.

Well, then how do you make the money stop until. I'm looking at you with a eye right now, I just want you to know we have a renewal coming up this year and I don't want to get any funny fucking ideas, OK?

I tell you what, pay per view, though. Yeah, yeah. I've seen the kassi the Logan fight.

It would definitely be we could sell out an arena, the Staples Center.

I don't I don't think they sell out the Staples Center for 30 second videos.

Oh. A lot of commercials on.

My boyfriend of four years, the man of my dreams. He just broke up with me one month ago, right before Christmas, and I'm a very sane person and have always been, but ever since I moved out of our place together, I've become a stalker of a mild kind of I know his schedule and I keep bumping into him randomly when I know what he's going to be there. And I feel like a crazy person. I probably am, too, but I just can't help myself.

Well, first of all, the when you know somebody crazy is when they tell you that they're sane. I don't I don't think anybody's saying so if somebody opening gambit is I'm a really sane person, but yeah, perhaps she didn't know this about herself and it's been an Easter egg or a sleeper cell that's been waiting to be released.

By the way. I think it's good that she's owning up, that she knows it's crazy. I mean, at least step. Step.

Yeah, she has decided that self awareness like, first of all, I get I mean, I was unceremoniously dumped by you. So I understand her pain three times. Garbage bags, clothes. It's fine. It's fine. It's not a big deal anyway. I know. Yeah.

Yeah. You've got half of everything now, 51 percent. So anyway, listen, I know that that's I mean, I've had friends dicked over by guys in long term relationships. And like as a woman, you just go like, fuck. And you just are just you just you want to hate that guy for doing that thing.

Wait, don't talk. But with the capital beauty and I'm sure there was reasons on both sides why the relationship disintegrated and she might have thought it was perfect. And he obviously didn't think it was perfect, but. Is that what you were going to say, because you just making your gesturing in the corner here like a clown? But anyway, the crazy thing in the stocking thing, I understand the need, but that's never going to get to a place of empowerment or where you're going to feel good.

And if anything, the minute he sees you doing great, great things like bumping into him three times a week, I mean, if there was any hope of you getting back together, there is now disintegrated.

Let's do a public announcement and information for people out there.

The reason, the huge reason that my betrothed and the love of my life is sat next to me and we have been together for 14 whole years, a big reason other than their incredible personality and her beautiful face and her kindness and runs deep in all of those things.

A big reason was we did split up three times when we got back, dumped me. Yeah, she's the only person that didn't text, didn't call and didn't bump into me inverted commas. And it was so impressive. And it's the only way to do it if you love them, no matter how much you want to scratch that itch by turning up unannounced, do not do it.

B If you love them, set them free. Well, just thank you, Robbie Williams. I believe those are. Stinging words, not mine words, and just to add on to what my current husband has just said is that a guy once told me many years ago in college, he said he was talking about some girl trying to reach him and this thing where she was going. I don't know if my cell phone dropped out. I don't know if you tried to call me or I lost my, you know, this whole thing.

He said, listen, if a guy wants to call you, he will. And it was like, you know, when things ring true for you, it was like a moment in time where I heard him so loudly and clearly. And I realized that if in any situation where a guy you're with a guy or he goes to you or whatever happens if he wants to get in contact with you, he will. So if he doesn't, it means he doesn't want to get in contact with you.

So it doesn't matter, no matter how many times you call your dad or you try to bump into him or you try and stalk them online, he doesn't want to speak to you. So you're only making it more painful for yourself, waiting for the phone call back, waiting for him to come to you. He's not at some point he might, but it's not going to be you chasing him down the street. And that was huge, huge advice that someone gave me many years ago.

So when you did all the mean things you did, it didn't even occur to me to do that because I knew you didn't want to see me. I resented that feeling, but I knew you didn't want to see me.

And also I, for whatever reason, so madly, deeply in love with you that I just wanted you to kind of I get it. You know, you get it. One hell of a guy. You're such a you such a bad person sometimes.

I don't know why I love you so deeply. Great catch. Great catch.

Oh, snap gets us back in the 90s. I'm Akoto Frata. I am Tracy Clayton. We're celebrating our favorite boy bands, RB groups, the golden era of hip hop and diva hits with a new podcast. My 90's playlist in each episode will celebrate one of our favorite ninety songs the lyrics, the music, how each song came to be, and the effect that each song had on the world.

Subscribe to my 90's playlist wherever you get your podcasts. Shall I go for it? OK, I want no privacy to read. Go, go, go, go, go.

I once gave a blowjob to my boyfriend while my parents were in the same car.

It was dark and we were in the back seat.

They never found out why.

What did you read? The in the backseat. Did you say back in the backseat? It was dark and we were in the back seat. They never found out. Well, it'd be weird if they were in the front seat back in the back seat.

I just want to like I mean, it obviously isn't a Fiat, but like, how big is this car?

That's a high stakes game. That is that is not good. No, I think that's great. That is. Yeah. I think it's great.

The Jeopardy. No. For the arrival of his man milk.

Oh.

Did you just say man milk would have been so extreme that it would probably be one of the best moments of his life and worst moments of his life all in the same stroke?

I love I love that you did all the like the blowjob handjob thing. I'm from an innuendo country. So clever. We do innuendos. Um, I literally can't even fathom anything more just humiliating or disturbing than trying to suck my boyfriend off with my parents in the front seat of a car. Like, I don't I've never been in a car big enough. That would make me consider that an option. I mean, well done.

We've got a Rolls Royce Phantom just putting it in there. You don't get don't get any funny ideas. Yeah, that's a wow. Also, that's, uh, I'm just trying to visualize the dynamics of how, like, the head goes down in the lap, like, where do the parents think her head's gone? Like, how do they not notice?

I mean, and how quiet, you know, like when that's like the sexual equivalent of, you know, like when people climb those buildings and you like they do it like without your stuff and you just like you equally horrified and mystified at the same, horrified by the way.

But at the same time, because it worked out and her parents never found out. But that's that is not the sexual equivalent of of of free climbing the Shard.

I mean, I actually think if I had the choice, I'd rather I'd rather have sex in the backseat of a car, then give a blowjob in the backseat of the car while your parents are there.

Well, I mean, I just like like I can't even imagine if they turned over and she was just sucking him off in the backseat and just look, just get the fucking visual of that. She is terrible.

It's awful. It's awful. It's terrible. I mean, I'd rather just but it played off, but it was but it was terrible. But it was. So I think it was great.

They think, oh, shit, what if the parents did see and are so whole lives in the back mirror?

Yeah. They can't even bring themselves to like they can't even acknowledge it because it's so disturbing that they saw their baby girl sucking off her boyfriend in the backseat. But they actually have made a pact amongst themselves.

She could they could be like thirty or forty years old. OK, so they're like senile and I mean, where does this get? And also, let's just flip the switch. Like I definitely walked in on my parents having sex, and that was so traumatizing and disgusting.

Isn't it great to know that our children will never have to worry about that because we're classic overshared know walking in on us, having sex? Because when I have sex, you know, I get it. Yeah, good point.

But. Right.

That's why I do it. High fives. Right. Keeping the kids safe. Yeah.

I work at a local supermarket behind a cash register sometimes when I'm in a good mood and a customer is very nice to me. I consciously don't scan a product, which means they don't, which means they get it for free. On the other hand, when a customer is pretty rude or they're on the phone, was paying for their groceries, I scan the product twice so they have to pay extra.

I kind of like that. I'm going to stay right there. That's like the Robin Hood of Tesco. I just think that's brilliant. Like that's like the little the little gift that keeps giving. But like that's like when you. Have you ever done VAT? Isn't anyone ever done VAT tax back and they give you such a hard fucking time and you're like, dude, I'm one of you, we are the people. Why are you trying to fuck me on my VAT?

You're already getting a percentage. Like, who are you protecting? The man. But he does not care about you. I'm you. Why are you trying so hard to keep me from that 13 pounds?

I so like I think that's something that I would do. I would do that.

I like that. I like that that person. Because you know what? Good energy gets you some good stuff and bad juju gets you some bad stuff. So you have to pay twice for your tampons because you're PMS thing all over the place and being rude to someone fine. And if you're being really nice, you get those tampons for free.

So I think it just makes that job a bit more tampons. It's very specific.

I'm just saying, if you're working on the on the cash register all day, that could be quite so basic. This is just like a family guy like yourself.

So basically like they're like the Saint Peter of check out people. Yeah. It's like you're at the pearly gates of Asda and the the Saint Pizza behind the counter is figuring out whether you deserve that.

You looking at your clothes. Yeah.

Into Domestos Heaven or whatever it is that you're buying. I remember when I worked in a club, I was like, how old was I.

Sixteen. Seventeen. And I used to have, like in U.S. courts, you get 20 percent off if you're in college and everybody that came through that was like 40, 45, I'll be like for you and your escort, didn't you? Oh, that's why I got you. And they'd be like 45 year old woman. Sorry.

Well, I'm not if your university called tomorrow, put the discount on a nice T like, I think that's good.

And like, I don't know why people don't do that.

I know it's technically my business when you have to buy that. They're everything they had if they just made 20 percent more.

When I look into someone's eyes, I can see that they will die. I never tell anyone then. No, but it's really hard going through life with this especially. It's I can't tell anyone I have this power because they won't believe me.

First of all, it's best that I don't tell people that you have this power and and is what if this person is not?

What if this person actually believes or is capable of seeing it?

I just take this on face value. Let's just let's not let's not do these one second.

You know, analysis like the like, you know, you hear those kids who have, like, been born four years old and they can say everything about another person that was their previous life and go, yeah, like that kind of vibe. Imagine if this is legit.

Someone's like going, nobody wants to know the day that they're going to die unless it's like at one hundred and in their sleep, like no one wants to receive that information.

Like if I was out with a girlfriend, she's like, it's going to be it's going to be sooner than you think. And I just ran it.

By my judgement, I'm being frivolous. And it wasn't fair because this is totally down my alley.

I got you of all people. I just judged on something you're super into.

Yeah, I'm super into those who like this kind of thing. Oh. Like you wouldn't believe it.

So I've never heard this particular branch of I would say it's a remote view into death. There's this thing called remote viewing where these super soldiers were put together and there was various tests done where they were given coordinates and then they had looked into this as well.

OK, so this is a remote viewing to death, basically. Now, let's just say that that person has this talent that would be remarkable, remarkable, but also such a heavy burden to have to have or maybe you would just get used to it.

I don't think anyone wants to know. I mean, do you want to. I don't think I don't think I want someone looking into my eyes thinking about that.

It's like I wouldn't want them to look at me. No, I wish I'd be like I don't want anyone to know that.

No. Do you believe it's real or do you think that kind of thing is possible?

Like people who like I can see ghosts in that awful lot of me wants to believe that it's real. Yes. Do I believe that that is real? No.

Yeah, I think I'm with you. I think there's a very outside chance that that could be the case. I so want that to be true.

Yeah, I'm a believer of the possibility of that. But I, I, my instinct is I doubt that necessarily this person does possess escape. That's not to say that they don't because there's a there's a there's a very you know.

As I said, outside chance that this person does possess these kind of extraordinary talents, skills, you know, powers that we're talking about, but I've looked and looked and looked and apart from the remote viewing thing, which I find very interesting, I've never seen any real evidence that anybody can do any of that stuff.

But either way, imagine being able to do it and not be able to prove it.

But either way, nobody believes you that what you are for next and then just tell everyone and then wait for you to drop dead. But either way, I wouldn't want this person in my life. And if it is like a talent, a power they have, they should probably keep that to themselves.

It's the world. It's the world's worst superpower. Yeah, that's the word. Yeah.

But I used to, like, invent the world's worst superpower where you have the power of flights, but you could only do it whilst naked one thing and you'd be like that would be like the worst world's superpower.

It's like yeah.

Yeah I can, I can show you can you, can you fly. Can you take me like rubber flies every other day.

Yeah. But you know, I think that would be like the world's worst superpowers.

I was once watching porn, as you do, and a button came up to connect to a nearby Chromecast. I was like, that's weird. But then in that moment, I unintentionally hit it. I was like, well, it's not going to connect to anything. There's no problem. But then I suddenly hear the neighbors screaming at the top of their lungs. I kept quiet and disconnected after I'd had a little giggle to myself, Wait, wait, wait.

I'm a complete idiot. What the fuck is a Chromecast? Did they see him? One can see them having sex.

So Chromecast is one that you plug into your TV and then you can shoot your laptop or your phone to your TV. So then they'll like. Yes, the neighbors have got that and they're watching porn and have shot it to the neighbor's TV in the living room.

No Llewyn Davis family, they couldn't see them. One can. No, no one's thinking you're on the last superpower. No one is watching. Porn, of course, is one kid, but he's sorry to point out the other.

Meenu Well, Alfie was wanking. These are all my secrets though, when I heard about Alfie in the third person.

But let's just for the sake of the show know he's watching the porn was.

Yes. The porn broadcaster like I'm watching this with my kids and all more like, like guys do me dirty ways.

Let me tell you a story. I'm not going to tell you who this is, but it's somebody from a band.

Right. I was having an affair, filmed them themselves, having sex with that person.

Yeah. Mirrored that succession from his bedroom onto the TV in the living room in front of his wife in the kitchen.

No way he was having an affair in the house. Wait, whoa, whoa. No, no, no, no, no. It mirrored the previous recording.

He wasn't having sex upstairs, so he had recorded it and somehow managed to play it. And mirror it onto the family TV. Why have you never told me this story? That's fucking huge. Wow, I'm going to have to get the deets on that after this.

That's going to have to be more explored because that's a that's a humdinger. And what happened?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I just I just got to that bit of the story and then just sort of went, whoa, I didn't ask the what happened. Wow.

Well, I'm going to I'm going to follow up the four one one on that one. It might not be the microphone, but I will get the deets.

You do want to read this with me? No. Yeah, when I was younger, I fished a few guys for fun, which I've now stopped doing. I recently matched with one of the guys on Tinder. We've been talking and have met up a few times. It's going well, but I've constantly got in the back of my mind whether I should tell him about the cat fishing or not. What should I do?

Oh, that's a good one. Well, first off, you're weird. It's just it's too weird. Cat fishing is fucked up.

It's really fucked up and bizarre and some sort of primeval sort of power play. It's it's if you don't deserve our advice. Oh, you at heart.

I kind of just want to sort 80 million albums. I don't know. I talked to this person, this asshole. Asshole. I think I'm angry about it, but I kind of want this person to say something because I want the person she's dating to run for the fucking hills. So, like, I want I want this person. He's been catfish by the person he's dating. I think catfish is so mean.

Well, what makes it even worse, though, is that she now from having previous conversations with him, in my mind, that's kind of like reading someone's diary. She's going in.

They're going like she she knows what he does. What he like is everything exactly from previous candidate. I really love this band.

And he's like, you know what, beans. I like lima beans. Yeah.

No, she's she's like she in the relationship as well. She's coming with an upper hand because she knows all about she felt bad about it.

I think it's like you tell him and let him make the call, but he needs to know. He can't not know that I went down.

But I mean, this is so fucking crazy. I mean, I don't know where or you make a vow to solemnly never do anything that fucked up ever again, put it in a box, throw it into the ocean and move on and be a better and stay with this boy.

You have gone from calling this person an asshole and saying you're too good to give them to advice, to telling them to not say anything, lock it up and just keep dating the guy.

Yeah, you're a flip flopper, man.

You're all right. I'm paid too extreme. Yeah. For my opinion, which is apparently north, south, east, west.

And I have several opinions because I'm a real personality. I'm a centrist. I'm not.

I'm neither left nor right.

OK, what do you think you're ever extreme left or extreme right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not right or left. It's extreme on either side. OK, I think you have to say something, but I mean, if this guy or girl who's been catfish has any sense of just self-respect or or self-preservation, they will run for the hills, although they have been.

I don't like that person. I've come back to not liking that. You switched up again. I'm hoping that they've been together. The new relationship has like a couple of days, maybe a week.

If they're a year into the new relationship, they're so fucking fucked because once this person finds out on a level, it's kind of like a double catfish because it catfish and now they're dating the person without telling them that that's the person that they know they're the one. So now they're the trap. So I would like to see how it goes down.

Please, can you imagine if this is you and update us? You can learn what went down because people will not like let us know, but let us know what's happening. Yeah.

And I'm all about second chances.

So if you the says for no chances or negative chance, the person that you were and put it in a box and move on, we I think the room agrees.

I can't keep up with you. Yeah. I don't know what side you're on now. Yeah. I mean. I hate them, love them. Yeah, like you said. My boyfriend doesn't know that I'm still in contact with my ex who is in prison. Oh, I plan to run away with him when he gets out in two years with my current boyfriend for company. And I enjoy the sex.

But the thing is, I think he's planning to propose to me what the current boyfriend.

Yeah, the one in jail. The one in jail. Oh, I feel bad. Do you know what the one that's not in jail should get together with? The last one who's getting catfish, whatever sex they are, and just just run off into the sunset together.

I'm hoping that person's listening. And then they find out about this violation and they're like, wait, wait, you have my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend is in prison.

So she is that.

But maybe we've just started a cascade of lots of people thinking that, yeah, we could have earned a lot of a lot of relationships, people listening, thinking it to them.

So I think that this is a terrible situation that this person has found themselves in. I would like to think this person is in their early 20s where you make these sort of selfish, careless decisions, selfish, careless decisions for yourself.

I would like to think if you regularly can, we also talk about this person who's who wants to run off with their prison lover instead of the person they're with? I would say that this is a moment to do some self reflecting because you have someone who's locked up in jail who obviously has some difficulties with the life of a boy.

Look at you. That's true. That's true. But there is someone in prison who obviously didn't choose her over prison life because whatever decisions he made led him to prison.

Sure. Right.

Whether it's I wonder whether that's why they broke up as well. Well, who knows?

And we don't know why he's in prison, but he's obviously done some shit wrong. Right. But then there seems to be this guy who really loves her on the outside, wants to commit to her that she has a really great relationship with and apparently in her own words or his own words, great sex. So I want to know why this person wants to choose the person in prison who has chosen a life of crime instead of a future with her, instead of the man who's right by her side wanting to commit to a future with her.

You know what I mean? This is a moment of self reflection.

You know, I would pick out of that whole thing if it was happening to me. What is the line that I'd be like, great sex?

I'd be like, yeah, but like a pick out, by the way, I get it.

If she's a narcissist, I'll be like, yes, she loves him, but she great sex.

She loves the D chase the D. But here's my thing is like I don't even like how much I get it. If she said like the sex is really bad and the guy in prison, it's really good like but like the sex is good with the guy that loves her. And then there's the no sex with the prisoner. Like I don't understand a two year wait as well and a two year waiting list.

I mean, I don't even like to wait for a thief or a bag that long. Just say that this 20 year let's just say they are 20 for argument's sake. These are the mistakes that you make the echo for eternity and you realize in your 30s and you fall is what a bad, selfish thing to do. That was, I would extricate you yourself from the predicament as quickly as possible because it's the only way forward for your own sanity and to keep your moral compass intact, because when you're watching any reality TV show, you won't be able to judge anyone on it.

Is that why just so you can watch reality? I thought there was like a grander, kind of like higher loftier reason. Oh, this is just so you can watch Love Island without guilt. That was the big payoff.

Oh, I enjoy judging people. What do you mean?

My moral compass is has been put back together and you're welcome.

By the way, she should enjoy what she's got and look to the future. I hope Mr. Nice Guy gets out of there. So my advice is. I have no idea what I'd say, extricates, extricates, he needs to go. I hope that. No, but he doesn't. I hope he's listening. He's going to figure it out and then he can get out and go and have great sex with someone else that he's happy with, although he's about to fucking propose.

That's what I mean. He's going to marry this girl. Oh, bloody hell. And she might just be OK when I wait for two year. I might as well. That's why she says now, isn't it?

That's where she goes. Look, I kind of feel like the nose should happen before that. Like, well, the push has come to shove. And now that the push is well and truly shoved, I should tell you this.

Yeah. That's not what I do know. Appreciate you guys coming on and thank you. Thank you for having us expose all the most embarrassing parts about ourselves and and discuss other people's secrets.

It's kind of fun talking about secrets at the end of every episode. I love to ask people who they know who they think should come on and sit down and chat.

Is there anyone that you guys know, any friends that springs to mind that you like someone who's really shady?

You got a lot of secrets. Yeah, maybe that.

Well, I instantly go to Alan Carr. I think Alan Carr is a great shot. Alan Carr.

And he has been Paul. No one says Lusikisiki is over there. No, no, no. Everybody comes in like does podcasts and they prerequisite with by the way, we're not going to say we're not talking. I'm not going to say.

It's like I'm I'm amazed that people do that because I'm more famous than them and I can at my desk and you shake in your hand.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of the sequels out next week on the podcast, I'm joined by my good friend j.J. Also known as Kassi and record producer SSX.

You won't want to miss it. It is a ridiculously juicy episode. So make sure you're subscribed and followed along and it will arrive right on your device once it's been released. I'll see you then.