Editor's Note: This transcript was automatically transcribed, so mistakes are inevitable. You can contribute by proofreading the transcript or highlighting the mistakes. Sign up to be amongst the first contributors.
Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast, New Year's Treat special podcast of that episode. Quite a convoluted way of saying that it's another episode of the Taskmaster podcast. We are going to be chatting about the special New Year's Eve. Let's a celebrity taskmaster. But everyone's a celebrity on Taskmaster, or at least they are by the time they finished it. But these are more sort of traditional celebrities than non comedian celebs. It's an amazing line up. It was a fantastic episode.
Taskmaster is always fun.
Of course, it is the silliest, most fun show on television. But this had an extra layer to where everyone was just so relaxed. I say it's a special guest, but it really felt like a big old party.
So we're going to be chatting through that episode, looking at the new contestants, talking about the tasks, how we would have done them, how we think Greg should have scored them, or we might agree with Greg now and again, now and again, not all of the time at all. But it was a really fun episode and the perfect tonic to a weird year, as Taskmaster always is. But this felt like a lovely little cup on the air.
So let's talk to our special guest. Our special guest is the wonderful Scruby podcast, actor, musician, all of these things. He does an amazing podcast called Destruction Pieces, which he's done for a very long time, is a brilliant interview podcast. It's had some incredible guests on it, including me. Yes. Don't worry. And also, yes, some brilliant people, too. So go and listen to that after you have listened to this.
Of course, if you've not seen the New Year's treat episode of Task Master yet, go and watch that first and then listen to the podcast. It would just be weird to do it the other way around. It wouldn't make any sense to you after that. Why not go on the task, master YouTube, YouTube dot com forward slash taskmaster. Get in as much taskmaster content as possible. Yes, I say taskmaster a lot, but it'd be weird to not say a lot because that's what the podcast is about.
So without further ado, let's crack on. Here is the brilliance script is based on the Task Master podcast. Welcome, Scruby Pip to the Taskmaster podcast, hello, Edward Gamble Wood, I'm very excited to be here.
Thank you. Finally, I guess this is my full name. Well, I mean, it's been too long.
Well, I decided that it's arrogant to assume that your only shortened your first name. You know, you got rid of your best name completely. You don't use Stephensen. The most amazing part of of you is nothing but. So what is there to assume you wouldn't have abbreviated your surname as well. So I'm glad I have my full name.
It's finally been revealed on the Taskmasters podcast. Is Edward Stephenson Gayborhood? Yes, exactly right. It's good to be here. Well, thank you very much for coming on, very excitingly to talk about the the New Year's treat, the New Year's taskmaster treats, which I don't I don't think anyone was expecting it.
I truly feels like a treat because just to do this one off with people who probably are probably too busy to do the full series or they sort of are trying to work out a way of getting them into a full series but couldn't quite work out. And it is quite the array of names that I don't think you'd see together on television at any other point.
It's amazing because because it's it's it's one of those exciting things, because there's always people when you watch Taskmaster. I love this person to be on, but they're not a comedian or, you know, I mean, it's not going to quite fit perfectly. And this kind of showed how. Yeah. Adaptable the format. Exactly.
But before we before we crack on into the episode. Yes. Obviously, you're a you know, an erstwhile podcast actor, musician. You've done it, you've done it all. And a TM fan. You are a taskmaster fan. You've been very vocal about that on your own, on your various platforms. So let's let's just talk about what you love about Taskmaster and some of your favorite moments from across all of the series or from day one.
It's just I genuinely think it's the most consistent show on TV, like there's not been an episode I haven't enjoyed. And that's so rare, particularly in these kind of Netflix times. Yeah, it's just it's so consistent and kicking it off with I mean, I could watch Ramesh and Tim Cook do absolutely anything, read the phone book and I'll be in tears of laughter. When I had Tim on my podcast, I was really worried because I just giggle at him speaking and I was like, this isn't going to be a good podcast.
There's a host. This isn't going to be a good podcast. But yeah, that started it off so well. Tim's sneakiness in that episode, Ramesh is trying to be cool and laid back about it, but being hilariously grumpy as he is his go to and rushing Conor is just this.
Essentially, they didn't nail that first cast. Yeah, it's absolutely it's absolutely perfect. But I don't think they've really put a foot wrong in terms of casting. And I think that is the genius of the show. They do they do find people with amazing chemistry, but they don't know they're going to have chemistry until they get into the studio. Yeah, and often I think it's the same with any fandom.
There's there's occasionally people who are like, oh, well, I liked it in the last series. Now, I don't know any of these people they've announced. And then within one episode, everyone's going, alright, this one's good as well. So yeah.
Yeah. I mean, again, that's kind of the excitement and beauty of it. And we've just seen in the last series with Muen, I wasn't familiar with him and he was an absolute joy every moment he was on screen. So, yeah, it's it's that's part of the excitement. I like it. I don't think there's ever been a series where there's not one person where I go all. They're going to be good and then you kind of Yoovidhya, they've built up that that faith and that trust, it's so hard to pick a favorite line up because.
I think everyone knows that the general rule is any series of anything that has a Marine is the best series because, yeah, he's been trained and delivered on Taskmaster. He was just consistently just amazing. But, yeah, I loved a lot of people talk about Series seven being a classic and it was everyone on there was great. If you go in on figures, you know, series nine is is is until the Channel four era and we have to count that.
Oh, if we're going on viewing figures, yeah, fine. We'll count that separately. But if we're going on viewing figures yet, it was the most popular series I'd say you know best.
So the winner, the winner of the most popular series must just be the most popular, the most popular contestant of all time.
So so you're probably right. But it's arguable, isn't it? Surely. I'm sure a lot of people would argue otherwise. They will. But I think you're right. It's so difficult to pick a favorite series or favorite contestant because it's one of the only shows where you can see someone for that long on TV as well as someone can do 10 episodes of a panel show. So everyone gets a moment to shine and everyone has at least I mean, everyone has at least five genius moments per series.
Yeah, yeah. I think there are those people that as soon as they announced you go. This is going to be just their style matched with what the show is trying on social media the other day is Rick Edwards was chatting with Rick Edwards about it on social issues. And we were both saying, just imagine it, just everyone's panic about what they do. And geologist's is there. And he's finished already and doesn't know really, really looking forward to that.
And we've seen a lack of effort can be incredibly amusing by the first task every week on the last series where just the lack of effort is overwhelming.
I don't feel like that would be your style if you did the show.
But I think I think you've you've proven already that you're really into the show. Yes. Throw you throw yourself into it. I think you'd be, which I think you'd be you'd be one of the ones you wanted to win. What you really put your all into it.
I mean, Ed, all I do is win, win, win, win, win. It's not something there's something about me. So yeah. I think that would be yeah. I think I'd be incredibly competitive every, every series. I get excited about the one task in the show that I know I would have smashed and I get in go in complete denial about the other ones that I drew a complete blank on. Couldn't think of anything to say.
I would have got that easy. I would have won that so good. It would have been hilarious and effective.
And yet, do you have any particular tasks from Taskmaster history that you wish you could have done or just favorite tasks?
Well, my favorite all time task and again, it's another person speaking of Jamali being just the idea, one when Lou Saunders was announced as being on Taskmaster, I just was right. That's going to be an amazing series. She's going to be for sure, consistently just wonderful. And on the season that she was on, the task where they. Start on the railway bridges and Alex goes down and hides and they have to sneak their way along and someone he didn't have been and that was just that was low.
Of course, that was low.
I want to do that task just with my mates, let alone on Taskmaster. It was just it just felt endlessly amusing. And that was a series where Joe absolutely surprised me. I didn't know what to expect from him as a as a contestant. And he seemed consistently ashamed of himself and embarrassed of all of his efforts and his whole existence. And it was wonderful to well, I knew I knew what to expect with Joe. So I've known Joe for a long, long time.
And as soon as he was announced as a that's a genius casting.
And B, I can't wait for people to realize that he's the weirdest man in the universe, just his his his and his interactions with with Alex every time.
What the first thing to to rival your friend of mine, James A. cast just ignoring of Alex for a whole season because again, that was just I didn't care about the tasks for both of that seasons. I didn't want to watch James ignore Alex again. I mean, that speaks to a customs commitment to a bit, because I think that's the sort of thing like, say, I decided I was going to do that. I'm going to I'm not going to answer Alex.
Every time you go and do a task within three times of doing that and seeing Alex's little face crumble, I would have been like pulling out of this immediately. You know, I can do that. This is because it's I think we filmed like over 50 tasks.
I think that's 50 times. He didn't say hello to Alex multiple times a day. Yeah. He ignored Alex or.
Yeah, I love it. It's absolutely adorable. I've also I think I mean, I need to to highlight that Alex is just an absolute star of Taskmaster because it's so funny to see his inability to be unbiased and equal with everyone just due to his embarrassment and awkwardness. Yeah, that's what we've got. I'll discuss that coming up, actually, because he his broad role seems to be if a woman asked him to do something, he has to do it a hundred percent.
And again, it's going to come up in this episode because I think Alex was far less comfortable not being around his comedy mates.
I think I felt there was an awful lot of kind of, oh, these are real celebrities from the TV and off the TV.
I don't know how to you and Greg as well.
At points I thought there was, but there was moments where there was this kind of TV person. I don't want to be a million as I normally am or whatever else.
He was definitely nice this episode, Greg. I think I think he was more relaxed as well. This felt like a Christmas party, like the main series is finished and everyone was a bit relaxed and this felt like a bit of fun after the main thing.
Yeah, I mean, Christmas party is the perfect analogy there because it instantly felt, you know, it's on Channel four now. Instantly felt a bit. Hollyoaks No, it's as if the back break was getting sexy and being a bit explicit and it was a oh.
Let's crack on with the price task. Best thing to bring to a party which I cannot believe they've not used before, the prize tasks are getting more and more specific, as they have to add, as they should.
They've never used best thing to bring to a party.
It's a great general prize task.
It's absolutely amazing. Right. And I always I always get hugely excited on this. The first the first task of the first episode. Obviously, this is a standalone. But the first task. Yes, absolutely. Because you get to see who has clearly never watched the show before.
And we got a couple of them straight off the bat, which I think we were straight in with John Hanna's BOP It toy. I mean, we'll sort of we'll come to them, we'll chat about the contestants individually during this.
I think we'll do it again with a spotlight on a very you see a spot and listen to the podcast know I'm all over this spotlight on John and such a serious proper actor.
Yeah. I couldn't couldn't wait to see what he what he does, obviously. Most famous for four weddings and a funeral, that very sad speech. So quite a gear shift when he brought a boppin.
I mean, again, it's it's it's beautiful though, because Greg and Alex having to try him, they are all right.
And again, as we've said, they got prepared for this in series ten. They got prep for. Yeah, for the finding how to to to pitch their underwear on this. Now, tell me what you think.
You seem to be agreeing with Greg and Alex here. The above is an underwhelming thing to bring to a party. I maybe I've just not been to very good parties, but I thought that was quite a good thing to bring in. If someone came to a party with a bucket, I'd be on that bop it immediately.
Right. It's it's. It's a kind of it's a stealth thing to bring to a party. It's not the thing that's going to get the attention when you walk through the door, but it's going to be the thing that around whatever time a few hours in people are still enjoying, it's not going to have the impact and taskmaster. They're not actually having the party. I don't know if they knew this. I don't know if they thought they were being invited to a party and they were bring in something.
But they need their impact as they walk in the door. But I completely agree that Obama is better than it first appears. There'd be a lot of things, I mean, other things that will get onto here that would have the impact coming through the door and then would sit in the corner and and be you're quite right. You're quite right.
That's what you need for a price task in general anyway. You need something that has impact when you announce it initially. It needs to immediately conjure up an image in the mind. You need to be like, bang, that's a good thing to bring. And you're right, maybe pop it a little bit of stealth. You need to think about it too much because I think Greg would love a party. He's got Nerf guns in his house. Yeah, yeah.
It doesn't surprise me at all. Yeah. So I'd love about it. Yeah I, I, I would love that party but I should let you know that I was once told off a stag do for playing codenames, you know. So I'm not, I'm not really a sort of fun rock and roll guy. I prefer a game.
Yeah. To us it's completely fair on the sidebar would be man you would be in the cone of battle in our overpopulate Christian. And now I think this is the one that deserves. The one point for me is the fifteen fifteen pound ninety nine disco lights. Yeah. I don't know. Why would he, why would you bring that to imagine if you were at a party just trying to have a nice time. And then Krishnan Guru-Murthy turns up misjudging the town with some cheap disco lights.
Now, now I've got a theory. I think Krishnan Guru-Murthy has got a cool agent who watches all the cool shows and listens to all the cool stuff. And he's never I thought when he was on off menu, I thought he's never heard this podcast before. Yeah, no, it could not be clearer. He has no idea what's going on. And it feels like his agent has taken the the set up of the classic comic relief. Let's get the newsreaders to do something out of their out of their comfort zone and wonderfully turn it into a career because he turns up on so much cool stuff that I'm into.
And as soon as he starts. Yeah. Oh, he's never listen. I always say, oh, cool man. But Christian Gary Murphy's intro off menu. Oh, no, hang on. He's got into it. So and now he had no idea what was going on. And this was I mean, why would you bring disco lights to a party? That's that's it. If anything that's undermining the people throwing the party. It's a Schubin we've covered.
I don't have faith in you throw a good party. So here's the basics.
Yeah. And then he said he would go he used to go to discos three times a week. So was he taking disco lights to the disco just in case.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. His own, his own little strobe lights, his own glowsticks prop arrived.
I used to go to disco two or three times a week. I don't want to be mean, but you do sound like you're lying. I think he was great on Taskmaster.
He was a bit I think he was baffled by a lot of it. But that's kind of wonderful to say. It's always fun when there's one person who doesn't really know what's going on.
He's great on everything. That's why I think he's got this cool agent who's just like it works. I can put him on anything and he's got that tone that he will play along. He's not going to be stroppy or snooty. There's going to be moments where he tries to play along and it doesn't land. And there's going to be. Yeah, which is more fun and there's going to be moments where it does line perfectly. So, yeah, I think it's wonderful.
But you're right, that was the one point.
It's definitely for me. For me that was the important spotlight on Nicola. She brought a skeleton with a bottle of tequila. This was my personal favorite pair.
But that's the five point. I completely agree. It's the five point. It's also the one that would have been in the corner of the room being ignored shortly after you've walked in the door. But we're walking in the door here. We're not I can't I can't be clearer. We're not having the party. We're we're walking in the door. And yeah, I think this was the.
Yeah, this was this is the impact. This is the impact things. This is what people having photos taken with in the past. Yeah, well, as soon as it's through the door, they're like he's got a skeleton.
Yeah, definitely. I, I think that was the five points for me I think will come to Shirlee. I think Greg was wowed by Shirlee showbiz. Yeah. And that's, and that's why the five points went to her because she sold it very well. But I think as soon as Nicola brought that in, I was like, I think we might have a winner here. And I was proved massively wrong.
I think I think you've you've nailed it there because with this task, you're looking at what is the item that most people are going to have in the photo they post on Instagram from the. To show people that they were at the party to prove they went to a party and it's the skeleton, it's it's it's a clear winner and then added the tequila in there, that's a bit of fun. Yeah, so spotlight on Rylant, who I was so excited for when he was announced.
I mean, talk about it. We'll talk. We'll talk about him loads through this of his.
He's he's he's my hometown guy. He's here home. I don't know if he's from San Diego or his mom still lives there. He lives up the road a bit, I think. But what you get in Stamford's, where the two extremes, there's there's going to be a bit, but it's either Rylant or Screwiest. That's the that's that's the two ends of Stanford. But he's yeah. I think he's amazing and. Yeah, right off the bat, he was Hamen Niccola right off the bat, were argumentative, were forceful with their their their ideas and put themselves forward.
And that's what you want. That's what you after. After this episode finished.
I thought they were all really good. But Rylan was one who stood out as I want to see Rylan on a full series of Taskmaster 100 percent because he what he wanted to win so much. He argued every single point. He looked genuinely annoyed at points he he brought in a robotic vacuum. This was not a good start from Ryan. I don't think this was a good price task. It's not something you want to bring to a party, because his point was that he couldn't get to sleep if there was a party in his house and he knew that it was messy.
But he's bringing that to a party. So he's basically going around someone else's house and saying, this place is going to be a tip. I can't sleep knowing that you live in a sty.
You see, it's not a good thing to bring. You see, I don't know if I was just worried over by by the rightness of it or because I liked it. I liked it. I'm not. Yeah, I'm I'm a polite party guest, so I will be needing to offer to help tidy up and things like that. So I think there was that element of the once the part is over, he can then go, well, he is my.
Here's my nomination, here's here's here's the person is going to tidy on my behalf. Yeah. So, yeah, I enjoyed it, but I think it's partly because I was so anti the winner in this task. Right.
So you sound like you're more anti. So let's spotlight you aren't you are anti Shirleys prize. But I wasn't a.. I don't think I think you're looking at three to four points for the truly I thought three points. I wasn't completely against it. I was against Greg falling in love so quickly. I think he needs to protect himself more. I think he needs to hold back with his emotions and not go so deep, so quickly. But the speed with which he was all over this prize and it's just a drinks trolley, effectively, the skeleton had wheels on it and a tequila in it.
That was also a drinks trolley. Yeah, it's true. It's a human skeleton. So that's if we even if we even just compare in drinks trolleys, the one that's a human skeleton wins for me.
Also had a record player on it that wasn't plugged into any speakers. So that was a that's a useless waste of waste of space on top of there. I am. I guess it's Greg knows it's a one off episode, normally in a full series.
He wouldn't go all in like that, but he thought, I can just tell everyone exactly what I'm thinking. He fell in love with Shirley Barlas immediately. She wowed him and blinded him with glitz and glamour. And, you know, he melted it.
I mean, yeah, his love for Sally Phillips came out and if so, three of that series. So he's got the resistance there. Shirley got five points, not the drinks, not her item. And again, exactly. I'm kind of okay with that in a way, but we need to acknowledge that that's what happened. So we need to acknowledge acknowledged a drinks trolley record player that isn't plugged into anything is better than an actual human skeleton. But to be fair to Shirley, as soon as she started speaking, I thought, I cannot wait to see what she does in the rest of the episode, 100 percent, 100 percent.
And just she had the vibe of someone who was just absolutely dying to dance. And that was evident. That was evident several times. Yeah. Yeah. She was holding it every task, I think. And every time she did a little dance. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, find what you love and make a career of it. God bless her. It's fair enough. She's clearly got the passion for it. So no arguing there. I mean, my God, I can't take my eyes off the woman.
Know it's just a wondrous, wondrous thing, and, you know, when you were describing it and I looked at the beautiful vision that would greet me while you sauntered around it, I imagine not for a second during that whole description, did I think.
But who's going to Hoover up afterwards? What would you have brought, Pip?
What's your what's your price best thing to bring to a party? Well. My best thing to bring to a party is the fact that as a kid, I went on the funhouse. You're bringing a fact. Yeah, OK, now I'm getting into Greg's putting it like that.
It sounds so screwed, doesn't it? Now, the poets brought a fact to the party. Brace yourself by your own metrics picked by I've got to treat you as you would treat someone else bringing a fan to the party. Where's the where's the impacts in the door. We're not having the party. You can't talk about the fact you're walking in the door. How are you showing that you've been on funhouse bang. What's the impact?
I'm letting one person know. And then if you're a party and someone there is telling a story of going on funhouse as a kids, you're gathering round your it's that kind of there was a thing in in the kind of late 80s, early 90s in wrestling where Jake the Snake made a point of saying speak where everyone was all shouting in their promos. And Jake the snake said, speak quietly and now have to lean in to listen to you. So you'll draw them in rather than shout for their attention, speak softly and make them come to you.
That's that's what happens with a fact like that. And it's a true story because my brother was at a party a while back and there was a guy there on his own. And he was on Fanhouse as a kid and he was the talk of the party everyone all night, he was being essentially passed from group to group, answering questions about the twins, answering questions about Pat Sharp, everything. And at the end, my brother was at the door and the guy was leaving and he walked past him and went.
Or that wasn't really in finance and left, and he is one of the most legendary I wasn't on Fanhouse. Of course I wasn't. I would have mentioned that way before now. But it's just I've never heard anything from a party. You talked about more and get a bigger reaction every time.
So, of course, because why would anyone lie about being on fun? Exactly. And again, everyone, Fanhouse or Nightmare, everyone wanted to be on that, but no one was. I don't know anyone I. Alex Jones, the conspiracy theorist, would claim that they were all actors and Fanhouse never really existed, and they were there to to put forth a narrative that the government wanted to put forward.
But, yeah, I've never met anyone Twins' on fun. They weren't twins on Fanhouse. They were clowns. They were clowns, 100 percent clowns.
But, yeah, that was a show that literally I've never met anyone of our age who didn't want to be on either funhouse or nightmare. Yet I've also never met anyone who was on TV. So yeah, I would bring it's now revealed to be a fake fact to a party and and it would be more popular than a skeleton. See, now you've you've done well there because it doesn't have the impact initially, but it's a good chat in the studio, I think that would do that would do very well.
Five five points. Well done.
So get the biggest thing through the doughnut without breaking the doughnut. You have 20 minutes, your time starts now. It's a it's a tough task. This is but especially thinking of it from a comics perspective, because that's the sort of one where it's kind of very one way of doing it. But how do you make it entertaining and how do you make it funny and you're just trying to think around it. This is how you know that Rylan seen the show before because he's immediately trying to think outside the box.
And also we should probably talk about his outfit at this point.
I mean, he's only on one episode and I think he's stolen my favorite outfit in Taskmasters history. Obviously, Phil Wang was in there. Obviously, Lou Saunders was in the antisemite. Cooper was the recent rise to the throne, but instantly so simple, so, so effective, so amusing, as was the outfit boom, boom. Yeah. Yeah. Well, talk about impact of that. Should have been his thing to bring to a part of the same.
How did you have that in your back? And then the thing you bring to the party is over the robot or over John Hannah approaching it.
I mean, he's got such gravitas. John Hannah, he's almost like a sort of he's like a scientist, a coronavirus briefing, I think. Yeah, I'd listen. I'd listen to him. I would listen to tier four. Yeah. Yeah. Jon, how does I get 100 percent.
100 percent. And he's got that that that vibe about him. And again, I think he was one that Alex was slightly intimidated by. I think there were moments when Alex was a little bit standoffish and nervous. And I think John missed a trick in that he could have asked Alex to do pretty much anything. And at least until he's got Greg to back him up, he would have gone along with it here. He might have gone to the studio and said, well, you know, we could that that shouldn't be allowed once he's got a Greg there next to him.
But but prior to that, I think he could have got away with anything. He just put loads of things through the donor. So in the end, he ended up pouring that massive cup of tea through it, which is such a clever idea. But I don't think he had the idea.
I think he was just putting as much as possible. He was just putting things through. And then but the liquid is such a good way of doing it. But I don't think he thought around it.
This was the one you know, I say that every episode there's one task where I know I've nailed it. This was the one I instantly came up with my idea and I knew I was doing this podcast. I hope none of them do this because it's the best idea. And it's I mean, it's not that funny, but you could make it more amusing. But I would have just put the donut around ATAP and left the tap running. Yeah.
And put gas and gallons and gallons of water. I mean, it's a huge waste. It's a terrible thing to do. But it's even if it's just filling the bath, I think if you'd worked out that water or liquid would count as the biggest thing.
I think because I don't think John Howard will work that out, because if he had, he would have to use the tap. Yeah, exactly. I sure hope so. Oh, no, but yeah. Oh, yeah. Or the hose, anything. But he, you know, he lucked out there. I think Shirley just with a constant stream of innuendos, that's basically what she put through that. I mean the the big pipe business.
This was the one that just made me absolutely fascinated by Shirley's brain that her initial first thought was to make the how ever so slightly bigger. You just just a bit it wasn't much bigger. Just I just cut this little extra bit. Er I don't know how much that's going to help you. I think you again the thinking outside of the box is not right. Yeah. It's a figure, a way to do this, but I'm going to make it a four so I wouldn't think I would have been worried, I would have been worried at that point that I was breaking the donor.
Yeah, now, obviously, obviously, obviously, I think if you broke the ring, maybe they'd have you there, but the cutting out feels like you're breaking it as well, because my instant thing was maybe I'd try and make no mistake it if you'd done it, Greg would have been down on you like a ton of bricks and dynamite.
Yeah, Fairpoint. All I was thinking was that I might have pulverized the doughnut and tried to reform it. So but then I guess I would have been breaking it and then reforming. I mean, it would have been an argument in the studio. Sometimes if you can't think of anything good, it's good to break the rules and then try and argue your way out of that corner. That's the way things are always. That's yeah. That's again, that was established in series one with Tim Cook.
Tim Key was mined there for an argument in the studio rather than anything he did on the task is like get me in front of him. And I played Michelsen.
Whether I win or lose, at least I'll have my day in Rylan is special effects. This is, you know you know, he's seen the show before. He used the cow in the distance and and put the donut close to the camera. So it looked like the cow was going through the doughnut. And it's a weird dance. It's a winner. He did a little dancing, a little sing, and he did it really well. I was worried at first when he put the down, it wasn't flat side on because if you're going to cheat, I want it to be accurate.
But then he just adjusted and it looked he did it perfectly. It looked good. Yeah.
Master, what annoyed me about it, though, is he did it and then he turned the doughnut round and started just like wiggling it around. So he sort of broke the illusion, which I wasn't a fan of.
But again, I dunno know is that part of the magic trick? I kind of vibe. Right. You do it and then you wait. See, it couldn't have been done. It's not possible.
But I did. I mean, I wouldn't have said this to his face because if you argue with him on this, he absolutely loses it. He said to John Hannah, why was it a film which made me squawk same.
And this was this was an interesting point, because, again, you got to see the people, as we've said, who haven't seen the show, suddenly realise what's going on and get a little bit annoyed because they did try and argue a little bit. Well, it was the image of the cow. So it was not the actual you should be measuring and then John jumping in with the aperture and over there. So, yeah, I enjoyed that poor old poor old Christine and I think was a bit baffled by it.
Again, as was Nicola was just so excited at the at the variety of things that she could put through the doughnut that she didn't stop to think that nothing was actually going through the doughnut. It was just balanced on top of a cactus. Yeah, it was quite curious. I couldn't get my eyes watching it as she was doing. And I have I missed her say something because I don't know what's happening here. I don't know what how is all this going be through?
It's all right. No, I didn't miss anything. I think she decided that it had gone through and then was retrospectively adding things to it to make it a bigger thing. I sort of saw how she was thinking about it, but really, it was on it. It wasn't through it.
I tell you what would have been good. Now, thinking again on her on her kind of approach. In a really big. Balloon and inflated, yeah, pass it. Yeah, then fill it up with water because it's pass through and then the measure in back in the water with water. Yeah, it's the key.
It's the key to passing through games. Have you not have you know, gone through my my book on how to be taskmasters. I enjoy that technique. Here's what I think Greg would say. If you pass a balloon through and then inflate, it wasn't big when it went through. That's like saying my mom gave birth to a 14 stone baby. Because I've got bigger after I've come out of the donut, sorry. Yeah. Well, that's really I wouldn't want to comment.
You bet big on that cactus being through the doughnut. I did. And you fucked it. And now it's time to hear from our BFF bonus fact finder, Alex Horne. Our hopes and a happy new year to you from me, little Alex, on the bonus fact finder BSF and yes, I do have a fact about the Taskmaster treat the first ever New Year's Day special.
So here we go. Are you ready? Good.
The fact is this in the first task of the episode, the donut task, some of you many of you, in fact, may have noticed there was some writing on the back of the task. None of the contestants noticed the writing. But I shall now reveal what it said. The task itself was, of course, get the biggest thing through the doughnut without breaking the doughnut on the back in font size nine writing it said if you put the words the biggest thing through the doughnut, you will be disqualified and lose one point.
We did that because I vaguely expected somebody just to write the biggest thing on a piece of paper and put it through the doughnut and expect to win. I'd like people to work around the rules and to think laterally, but, you know, there's a limit. None of them noticed it.
But I would say if you are a future contestant and you are listening to this podcast, this sort of thing may well happen again. Check the back of the task, for goodness sake, OK?
Happy New Year, everyone. I've got the hiccups and I'm worried that I will throughout 2021.
Good luck, me, and good luck to you. Thanks for listening. Good bye. OK, task to sculpt the scene on the other side of this wall, most accurate sculpture wins. You have 15 minutes, a classic taskmaster task. As soon as it was announced, I was like, yes, I'm looking forward to this one.
Now, here's my first thought about this. The task does not say you can't move the wall. Yeah, good point. It would have ruined the fun, but surely someone should have thought to just pull the wool down, Rylan tried to bash another hole in it when he was doing that, I thought just bashed the whole wool down. You'll be able to see exactly what's going on on the other side.
Yeah, yeah. Because, again, it's a very delicately erected wall. I think that. Yeah, I think that's right, Cher.
This was. The first one that I got, some of the feelings that Greg had got in previous tasks, but mine was in reaction to the firmness of John Hanna's inquisitive hands. I mean, it was it was empowering.
I genuinely I was slightly moved. He was so firm and bold in his his curiosity. I mean, he did well. He taught me he you know, it didn't at all.
But he he put me in mind of an old school policeman searching a shoplifter a hundred percent, 100 percent like a 70s, like a life on Mars mascot. I'm looking for something to punish you. And if I don't find anything, this will be the punishment enough yet so I can't punish you. Are you sorry I find something. So I'm punishing you a bit now, just in the in the advance of finding anything. Yeah. So definitely had that feel.
But then his mind went to an absolutely bizarre place with what he thought he had. Yeah.
The mask, the superhero mask. Swiss, the member of the Swiss Guard, he that is a classic taskmaster panic. He just went on an absolute spiral. Yeah.
A member of the Swiss Guard. Again, it's one of the ones that you watch and think, I feel I would have known that a lollipop man. The clues are there. The clues are fairly clear. But who knows if I would have gone to a member of the Swiss Guard. I said in the moment, it makes you wonder what sort of life John has led, that he recognizes a lollipop person as a member of the Swiss Guard. Like, how much time is he spent in Vatican City?
Yeah, yeah, it's a curious one. And what he created was haunting. Beautiful. Well, not as haunting, I would argue, as Christians who just look like an evil ghost doctor.
And I don't know how he managed to get four points like an actual ghost because, ah, no wonder he was worried. He said he was scared while he was doing it. If that's what he thought was on the other side of the wall, he should have been shitting his pants.
I mean, I'll tell you how he managed to get four points said. Did you see the rest of them?
Well, Rylan nailed it. Look straight. Let's say straight out the game. Rylan absolutely smashed it. He made him lie on the floor to make the scene more accurate, which I thought was a great move. You she got quite angry towards the end, trying to get trying to get him to reveal the color of his hat.
But Rylan smashed it and one at the end, he got angry at him not being able to tell him stuff. He'd done the whole thing. And for some reason at the end of the half is. But that can't be against the rules. You can tell me that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, everyone else was was pretty awful. Nicola's tiny Irishman with the duck and the taskmaster sign. That's a real panic that she just decided to make the taskmaster sign, presumably to butter Greg up as if.
Yes, I know. I know what Chalamont. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Or it could have been that there was an assumption of arrogance that they would have someone stood there holding a taskmasters sign again. I guess a lollipop man is as as prevalent as they once were.
I don't think I've seen a I don't think I've seen a lollipop person for years. So they're part of they're part of the cultural lexicon, aren't they?
But the youngest, they're less of an Irish, but the youngest. And how many lollipop people do they have in Ireland?
Yeah, it's a good point. So maybe there was something there that that can be forgiven. And again, I think it's a valid. All right, I marked Niccola higher in my head, and I think it's because I appreciate some some pampering. I appreciate the effort of making a taskmaster sign because it is like, well, there you go. That's yeah. That's part of the game, right? Yeah.
Yeah. No, I think I think she deserved a couple more points. Maybe Shirley deserved the one point because that mad decision that she decided she was going to do it on the wall, despite no one telling her that whatsoever. And and the mad decision of looking at the amount of play on the table, the decision to do it to scale or the size.
How was he ever going to look good as a lifesize like, you know? It's madness. Yeah, it deserves. I think she was just quite taken with the gloves, to be honest, and go a little dancin, of course, at one point for Shirley Balas, deservedly two points for Niccola, three points for John Hannas, Swiss Guard baby, four points for Krishnan Guru-Murthy, talented doctor and five points for Ryland's old man. So that brings us on to the third task build that I'm going to read out the full instructions, build the largest tower on this set of scales.
You may not move the scales or tape anything to them, and you may not tamper with or block the fan. The fan will be on for one minute every other minutes at the end of the 10 minutes. Your tower must be taller than a wolf and stand by itself for 10 seconds. And when Alex blows is whistle, say you have a good idea. That was only for Rylan. A lot. A lot to remember. And it was taking place in a rather smart new biodome, which I'm presuming is in there for series 11.
It can't just be for this one off. And it's it's great. I love it. What a nice addition to the Taskmaster house.
It looks lovely, right? It looks all modern and futuristic. And what you've take on this task is this is this one of those tasks that you just go safe and simple on the assumption that a lot of people are going to try and be too clever and get disqualified, because that's the. But that was my instinct. It's like this because you have to get it over and ask to survive the fan and all this coming. I was thinking there's a lot of people who are going to bottom out on this one.
So maybe just as as as John did, really, he just kind of found some light things. And it wasn't that clever, it wasn't that thinking outside the box, but I think there are certain tasks that are like that, right. You have to assume that a lot of people are going to. Yeah, I think so. If it has that many instructions on it and that many attempts to close off caveats, you've just got to do it.
Yeah. And I think, again, Rylan proved that he's seen the show before by constantly trying to think of a different way to interpret light. So he's going to light his tower. What's the fairy lights? Fair. I'll get fairy lights. But he's spent so long trying to think outside the box, he's forgotten the main objective of the task, which is to build a tower.
I love his his performance thinking he doesn't just go off and think. He paces around making big gestures, saying what he's trying to think of the light or the lightest tower. The lightest tower. The lightest tower. Yeah. I mean, it was very funny to watch, but an absolutely awful attempt at the task. Yeah, it was terrible, wasn't it. There weren't many great attempts by everybody to have a bit of a nightmare. And like you say, John Howard played with a straight bat and that's that's what did it in the end.
Oh, again, we've gone as we've highlighted the two who felt like they've not watched the show, therefore, are going to just go a bit more direct. Got the five and the four points in this one. They weren't that excited, but they were. A simple build, totally, and then Shirley obviously came through with the three points when pretty straightforward as well. But yeah, Niccola and Rylan trying something too clever, came away with nought points.
It was it was hard to see that with Niccola because she'd had a bit of a rough show already. And once again, really was on a roller coaster similar to the the doughnut one.
I found it hard to see what the clever thing Nicola was trying was. I was quite confused again. But yeah. Rylan, it was yeah. It wasn't a tower. It wasn't Free-standing. No, he just he he basically just decorated the scale like a student bedroom. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Exactly that. Which could be a great task. Yeah.
Decorate it, decorate this set of scales like a student bedroom. Che Guevara poster fairy lights bush.
I'm trying to work out how I can change. I've had a really good idea. So the studio task is a two part studio task.
You have to select an object first. You'd lose a point if you if you selected the same as one of your fellow contestants. And these are real points, by the way.
This is the good stuff. Always good for me that out of your control you have to try and bluff and double bluff and triple bluff.
It's always it's always amusing, even even more difficult as well to get into the heads of your fellow competitors when it's the first and only episode that you're with them. Yeah, yeah, 100 percent. So we have to cabbages. We are too. Equilateral triangles, sadly. And Rylan was the only one he selected in a unique object with the bath blueprint's. But of course it's not as simple as that. Apart to strike the most balls into the bath with your object.
If any of your balls touch the taskmaster, you lose one actual point. You have one minute. Now, they can they can afford to do this because it's only one episode. They can afford to burn off points and it makes it make sure there's a winner. But let's just straight away talk about Nikola trying to hit the ball with the with the middle of a triangle that doesn't have a mental mind blowing absolutely mind. I mean, the the techniques of several people in this task were just astounding.
You know, Rylan essentially had a paper baseball bat, if he wanted you to just roll up and use it should have been good, but it was it was a mess.
But, yeah, they're repeatedly going back to and Greg shouts in the crowd shouted, Turn it on its sides to Nicola. She's she's using a triangle, a snooke triangle, essentially. And. Yeah. Well, and consistently as well, is it on the studio tasks, is there more panic or is there more that kind of dissent? There is a lot of panic, but of course, there was a studio audience when I did it which sort of put a different spin on them, like you're intensely doing them, but people are cheering you on and there is lights and proper noise in the studio and it feels a bit more sort of rowdy.
It feels like you're actually playing a sport, whereas I can't imagine how weird it is doing that to sort of crisp silence in the studio. But it was a very funny studio task. I look forward to this year to ask more and more every week. Now, I think there's been some brilliant ones as of late as well. And zero zero points for John Huntsman, zero points for Christian, a group. I'm the arrow points for Ireland I need to flag.
I think this was one of the few great injustices in Taskmaster task history because I'm John Hannah was completely right that he was a huge disadvantage on the Greek thing because he was the only one literally opposite Greek. So it was eye of the bar within the biosphere or in Greek, whereas everyone else is going in the bar for not going in the bar. So he was going get points or lose points. It was like a double. Yeah, a double challenge there.
So yeah, it wasn't, it was an injustice. But I really don't think Greg cares. I think that's the joy of it. Just sometimes that sort of thing happens and Greg can go, yeah, well that's the way it is.
And again, it'd be a great injustice if John hadn't started the show by bringing a bop it to a party. You.
No, but it would be too sad about Nicholas somehow managed to get one Ballan, even though she was trying to hit balls with ER and Shirley Balas, as Greg said, the perfect to show tubules which which wins the show for Shirley. I think she, she brought everything to it. I think she probably deserved a victory and Greg was happy about it. Seventeen points for Shirley there Rylan. A second place which I don't think he would have been happy with.
Krishnan with twelve points, Nicola with ten points and John with ten points as well. John really haemorrhaging points at the end there. And Nicola, very lucky to not be rockbottom.
We know who else is going to be denied that he was always trying to say, because I'm the only one that's fighting it out for you. You got three seconds left. What a fun episode.
I really think that I think and I hope they keep doing this because it's a really fun way of sort of freshening things up and having some old people on.
I want I want them as like as a treat once a year or twice a year. I think the beauty of Taskmaster is it's the only kind of panel show as such that has a run in scoreline over. And I love that it's not it doesn't get wrapped up in one episode. That's one of the overlooked, unique things of taskmasters. You want to find out how it all ends, but as one offs where you're getting people who, as you said, either wouldn't be available for a whole series or maybe you wouldn't be confident, would work for a whole series and things like that, I think.
Yeah, it's beautiful. And I think the more it opens up so many more people, because there's so many people who I can probably convince to do one episode but couldn't convince to do a whole series. Thank you so much for coming on the show. As is tradition on the Taskmaster podcast, I will now ask you to rate your experience on the podcast between one and five points. It's got to be a 5.0. It's been an absolute joy.
And as I said, it was the surprise element of the episode as well. Just made it all the more exciting because I thought I was done with Taskmaster for the year.
I thought I'd had my had my lot and then bang a little treat, a little treat, a little treat on New Year's Day to kick off what will hopefully be a better year. Fingers crossed.
Fingers crossed, indeed. Fingers very much crossed. I have so little hope. I wanted to end that up there. But I'm fully aware that the global viruses have no idea what year it is.
And no, I really don't know. Well, let's end it there then with our special guest, Scruby Pip, saying, I have no hope. Thank you very much for listening.
Well, what a great episode that was so lovely to have a true student of Taskmaster on.
Pip really, really knows his stuff.
You notice there for every situation, he could dip back and find an example from a previous series. He really, really knows his stuff. So I'm sure we will have him back on the Taskmaster podcast at some point because that's right. We have been extended. We are not going anywhere. We are going back to the beginning. We are starting again. We are starting with Episode one, series one on January 7th. We're kicking that off. We are chatting about each episode of Taskmaster in order.
So if you'd like to watch along, I would highly recommend that. As the podcast comes out, watch the episode, listen to the podcast. I think that would be a worthy journey to accompany us on. We're going to have amazing special guests from the series who can have big fans of Taskmaster like Pip. We're going to be talking to Alex again. It's all very exciting. So do come back and join us. Episode one, series one of Taskmaster, January 7th, The Taskmaster podcast.
Thank you very much. But for now, goodbye and happy New Year.