Down lattes about the champagne, please. Thank you. Thank you very much. I'm going to sing a song for, you know, I wrote it myself. I wrote it about a month ago. But the morning after remembering it.

No, I was sitting at home with not. No, of course not. But the about food. So I sat on the couch and I put on the telly, had the remote control balanced on my belly. I used the entertainment half to watch a documentary about the invention of doughnut in the parking lot. And I fancy the film about going on a farm to watch it. But this guy said in the past week, seven day retirement's coming to an end, put me my own imagination, took me round the bend so I out the money.

Yes, I'm very nonchalant, but no TV has got what I want. I don't care if I ever leave home again. Just plasma television. Me on the who don't fit me. No TV could do to me. So no TV. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Welcome, everybody, to the Tommy and Rita podcast committee this week from the Crane Bar in Galway, west side of the city and west side that set the West back the way back to the west.

I want to say as of now that I've been looking for Sam for a good while. What do you have?

Oh, yeah. Oh, my word. I'm in a pub in Ireland the day after the pubs opened. I would love a pint of. Guinness, I love Guinness to please make I three points on your. Thank you very much. Way back in the day.

Way back in the late 80s, early 90s. So, yeah.

What would you be stopping. Well, back in them days now you could. Can I just say to wherever anyone is listening to this, anywhere around the world, around Ireland, let us pause for the answer and let us listen to the taps of the Quran like those that you wish.

Spicks, Óscar. Plus, that's the sound of affection back in them days now I have to go fishing for pints for five days, power powerful, be cheaper than bars to deliver a pint. Who's 190, 120?

She's got we were unprotected. We don't like a tenner rent. That's right. With twenty two pounds a week rent and we chip in a tenner for food. You knew you had a fiver on Wednesdays to spend on drink. You got four pints and there may be enough copper in your pocket. You get a bag of chips for the whole weekend. Fifty, fifty, fifty fifty was appointed. The chips half covered of course the other half covered chorizo.

Oh I remember when the greatest mornings in my life I must have been steamed coming home. But this is one of those moments when you got to much. I came home and I fell asleep and I before I went to bed, a bit of a curry, coleslaw, chips. All right. I woke up with half the sandwich. Just finished it for breakfast. Oh, yock. Perfect stuff is always very special.

I lived only up the road and Canal Road, then I lived the Middle Street. But once you come over the bridge juries, you enter into a different zone as I crack and a zone of laughter is one of madness hippie's.

You want to take us Edina's and go wherever you go. This is what?

Yeah. Once you come over the bridge you can get whatever you want. Oh, I'm coming to the table. Or I would just say to every listen that we have left in the day. That's great. Thanks, Rick.

After getting a lot of tendonitis, it's called tennis elbow. Yes. So I'm not sure if I want to be able to lift you just like me. Yeah. You know, if I can lift the when did you get the joke? And of course, I got to the point. Here's to freedom because your friendship. Here's the 2012. Cheers. Cheers.

Oh, my God, Tommy, don't drink it all in the one I know. But you know, you're supposed to live three rings in a pint when you don't. That's a popular drink. What you mean three rings when you're finished? A pint of the tree rings if there's more than three rings really fucking around wasting your time.

But if all goes well, you won't drink many of them if you're going to be drinking with us. I got a pint of Guinness at the weekend in a cause like that's like heroin in the joint. I've never had that problem before.

I was wondering how am I going to get into town? Because it's half 11:00 in the morning and we are drinking and digs as I get into the car. My wife got me in. Oh yeah. Actually said there's a box Boskell in from Glasgow. All you can gather there around eleven o'clock and I looked at them. It was so you going to work. I said I'm going to work. In this case all you find is work you'll do.

Did you get a bit of a a little bit of that was all good natured but then she's encouraged me to get drunk and I find that I have been tricked into something like you've been tempted, I'd pay for it.

You drink every day anyway. Sure.

Jesus Christ. A man comes out for a pint and all of a sudden his whole drinking history is, do you drink every day? There's a tremendous amount of whisky here at the crane, but not a tremendous. Don't let us be tempted by those. Just yes, the river is a tiny bit worse for wear. Describe your weekend.

We went for our county title game on Sunday, had the first for twenty three years if we want to, which we did. And it was absolutely the best feeling. I was fourteen years of age or not more in the country right before fourteen. I really ought to do.

Yeah I know. I'm going backwards. I'm Benjamin Button, so I was lucky enough to be at the match and this is the last minute live on Radeon about the history teacher training we all get.

It would be to be created.

We need to like that to understand the world locally or my dad wasn't able to go to the match obviously because it was only two hundred people ago when he watched the match at home and with my sister and my sister in law and he cried like such an emotional day for so many, be an awful lot of older men who haven't been able to get out for a pint in the last couple of months and have been able to go to the club. And they've been detachment like football.

It's just been so special this year. It's beautiful. Let's talk about your suits.

It's very becoming.

So I'm in a three piece to Michael Michael D.

Yeah, a million Suns tweet from doodling all. And many, many years ago when I heard a story about Allen Ginsberg, the great American poet and Dorgan, the Great Crockpot was inviting them over to coach literary festival. And he says to him, Allen, I can't pay you very much money, but I will. I'll get you a three piece suit made to fit like a hand we're going to love, and Allen Ginsberg said, I'd love to do that so we can move specifically for the Irish tweed suit.

And when Allen Ginsberg died about eight or nine years ago, wasn't he buried in the tweed suit that he got after coming to the festival? So that story was in my head and I treat myself now. I got a tweet suit made. So wonderful woman Katrina analysts who had to choose my clothes. I'd be shit, of course, this afternoon. Yeah, that's my call for a television show. All right. And so I said I'd love to eat Tzu's.

So I got four made different colors. Earth, Wind, Sea and sky.

Really? Yeah. It's nice isn't it. Yeah. It's just I haven't worn for ten years and I thought when a man goes drunken at eleven o'clock in the morning he needs a decent civil suit.

I think it's very funny that he went up to the pitch last night and Barona in the suit, not this suit in a waistcoat, a pair of chinos and a shirt.

I spoke to one of the Byronic coaches. When they saw him arrive, it was training I. I would have talked in boots and shorts that I have on top as well. But last time was when he wasn't really trained. And it was just you have to have times where I always have the Hajat. You can't go up there like that. I LAT's I need to see this is part of the nineteen fifties mindset. That is all the gear back for world domination emergency.

And Jim Gavin walking onto the pitch there just oh it's just a match.

Is there any gear coach that doesn't wear the tracksuit with the bonnet.

No I know because you have to have Boston written on Paul later. He got the job in Wexford but he's gone now. Gone from the job already. Three minutes. He's gone. He's gone next week.

Now, I'm going to take a step further before the hat and I'm going to wear shades. Dark shades.

You'd be arrested. No stranger, my dear. Do you think that would look suspicious down on the side of a girls under thirteen and a pair of glasses?

Yes, I have a feeling that could not work out that well for you.

I have. I had a strange experience during the week that I'd like to share with you.

I don't know if this is going to upset people now or not. It's a thing that's easily done, but not many people do it. And I had the opportunity last Sunday. I took I don't care what anybody says about me any more than turning up at a match coaching underage girls.

Are you ready for this now? Yeah. You sitting back in your seat? I am ready. I make three more plays last. No, no, we're fine.

Sunday I had the Protestant Holy Communion.

I make three whiskeys, please. We love a chaser right now.

I had Protestant Holy Communion. I was invited to a Protestant service where a Zen monk friend of mine was getting ordained. That was the deacon in the Church of Ireland.

And he invited me along to many about whether it was socially distant. So God was in one God or the devil was the two metres away.

And then the people were all separate and Tommy went up and they come around here. It's a it's like just eat your heart.

Did anybody say it was just and a different attitude. Jesus tastes a little bit different, just like there wouldn't be as much to him. Was there flavor to it? The water was a bit, as I say, in Spanish. So. So what? You need salt. It need to sometimes if it's also it was a bit just kind of crispy.

Would you didn't prefer bland. Yeah. So you prefer Catholic. Catholic only communion has a bit of deception. Coffin it like how did you feel.

Like your cheeses, your religion by you. A. sort. I kind of cheated on board. Yeah. It tasted something else that I was having an affair. Yeah. You were having an affair with the Catholic Church did you. And I talked about all the communion, took it to a hotel or the hotel with no light in the corridors and nobody was there to get into the room to pull the curtains. Two glasses of liquor, the only communion.

You really don't have anybody. Don't anybody get this one? Don't don't text me during the week with the Jesus. Jesus, what's the difference in a Protestant?

In the Catholic anyway?

Protestants go to hell to be the main wife and they're all part of the way I can do we do we have ads on this part? Yeah. Let's just leave you there with that question. I would go for an ad break.

I want to go to Protestant man. No problem there. But do you have did you have to say there's a lot of stuff at it like this is not faster because less no longer. It's longer and there's more like in it. And one of the great things about Catholic mass is. And there's been an understanding and there's singing and there's local stuff, and now there's choirs in the positive as well, but it's very Canadian city. It's a mainly it's hard.

It's hard. I feel it's not you know, I don't know if this or not, you know, because I can't go into mass. And he knows it might be a bit distorted to drink. I can sit down here and everybody can find the heater on the media and everybody does that great herd feeling of a great shuffle of the blessed when everybody's not on the list and then they everyone out for 20 minutes.

But it's standard from start to finish and be destroyed in a bad mood. No wonder Paisley was given at the whole time. Didn't have that. You wouldn't have the knees for Protestants. I always loved resting my ears on the back of the seat.

You know, when you're dealing with some of the real devout, we get right up on the knees, stay away from the seat. But me and my brothers in St Mary's in Nashville would always put our back in. I used to love the massages you'd get from the priest if you were an altar boy after mass.

So one day, Grace, when they were. Yeah. Where went to the sacristy, I did take off your vestments and you waited a bit tense after waiting for the whole parish and you just put the two ladies gentleman. He was leading gently.

It had strength, Ireland. And he'd say, all right, I heard you had a great match for the on the fourteenth.

You know, I always hands on and on. I wondered if the day that Protestant priests had very little child abuse now in my US because they'd get married and marry them.

And the wife is the one you send over there. There's no room. You tell the story. I ended up on stage on my own behalf. The other day, I was woken out for a meal, myself and Depner, I surprised my wife what it was it we were going to a restaurant completely bamboozled by going, what's the plan for later? And you know, what's on for dinner? I said, well, the boys love this. She can have that.

You have pasta real have the chicken, but they'll be fine because we're going out for a meal.

How long lines? You don't understand.

Is it just spontaneous service was I had done my homework on this. I had done my homework and we were women all over the world listed. I now have to go and I wish I was married to him. I just said, well, we're going to. And she goes where we're going. So we know what the problem was a problem.

What I mean, I got money from the problem was I wouldn't open up it on three different charts. And at the same time I put on my favorite layers, put on another shirt, and I was really happy with that shirt. With the button. Oh, so this is old school Levi's.

This is a new school. No, I didn't. You woman So I got to work. I have the newer one and two, you know, not so I said to them in the shower, I said, where is the needle and thread. Like, who knows how. One box in one box. Yeah. Says Tweedie McGee here, that's all this is all about. So maybe he's his own boss. I made me jokes and I took the shot and I went downstairs, I sat in the coach Sky Sports was on and I fixed the button myself.

Double, not triple, not quadruple, not in the back. And I was delighted.

I think that's even more dramatic than me getting personal, I think, because it's just an ordinary button, like what do you not do on the economic side? In fact, you know, we did not we did land full stop.

I traded the public.

I mean, it's like how do you big achievement for a normal functioning human being. So button into a shirt like in twenty twenty. Well, it's gotten more complicated. When's the last time you put this. Sort of makes some shirts. No. No. Is five people to do it. Yeah. I don't get involved in that kind of stuff.

It's involved, it's your shirt and involves look at me like if I fixed my shirt and I wore it to the restaurant.

Yeah. I just, I just give it to a poor person. Like what.

By no one's ever been.

And I you know, it's easy, easy for that.

It's a bad thing people have it and we must confront it. Why. If you wanna talk about sex, I'd be delighted to talk because you have a numbers thing going. I have a way of closing doors. That's very special. What you do before you leave the house is what if the door has a handle on it? Now, I have to check that handle quite violently and I have to carry on quite violent in the controversy. Yeah. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Release the hand. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15.

And then walk away and they go to my locker and then go, It's not me.

I think a burglar will go and check the handle, like not just break the door.

And I have to have at least seven burglars. No.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven of you have seen me doing this. And for standing, what do I leave the whole body in? And I slightly compulsive behavior.

But it's what it is. It is. I think it's charming. Have you any other obsessive compulsive disorders?

No, no, no, no, no. Not if I don't have cottonwoods in the house.

I, I, I don't come all over the place with my finger. I like what does I know I'm not going back.

I said that I love cottonwoods. Oh my God. She isn't every day. Oh not not every day. I've toned it down a little bit. Is it just really that or the other. I would use five or six a day. I just stand there for five or six a day because now what I do is I put the cotton in the opposite here because they can get a better angle. They're bad for you. I think they say that's bad people.

I remember we my group to realise you stuck with the victims here he was with the child. Are you mine in the.

I'm not sure it's kind of wild direction, but it is very rough out there in one way not. But, you know, there are people there in the bar last night, that fellow there that clearly hadn't showered for a year. And he was the people. And then there was nobody else. OK, there isn't a thing where if you're like with your hair, remember, you say with your hair, you don't wash it after eight months.

It cleans at six months like we don't have to use. Good. If that was thing going on. Yeah. If you're the cause of what's gone wrong, I mean, only that would go going like we had a house that had five bedrooms.

One of them wasn't really a bedroom. One of them was a converted hotspot that had a door and it had no windows and it was called the Cinnabon. And whoever was the last move into the house got the Sedran even. It was later on over the years.

And when someone moved out and they got a bedroom windows, raulston and dark, sweaty under the quilt that was just around the corner from here. A lot of my good friends. And it made a difference to people who didn't because we were all do not own you know, one of them became a postman, great postman, postman Tom. Another became a drug dealer, is doing a 10 year stretch in the four bedroom with him.

The far side of a good one of them became a born again Christian and moved to Denmark instead of taking heroin with the young man over there. It's just like a fucking Ed and one of them move to Germany. He became an accountant and got into film and got into Youthwork in Galway. And it's amazing the different ways that people that people go. But the thing that you notice back then was kind of having fuck all foreign travel wasn't an option, but to always call to exercise and give you a tremendous dose of some psychosis.

And you, Tommy, was one of my best. You could travel the cosmos for me and you could be in the hot press.

I remember Tommy said for that one night we ended up at the Fire and Nocturnes and I was about 12 at night. And we were standing there, Mannu Young, Naive and. Bold, but also totally out of my mind and something that fake police legends.

The fire was the fire pit. Give me any good advice.

Isn't it funny now that we're still here? I would like to encourage my children to this type of thing when they're ripe for stairs, a wall for 19 hours, a proper education, develop their senses, develop their sense of panic. Me and my brother, we're heading back to we're living in a park and, well, this is where you lived in the same bedroom bedsit. And it was a Sunday evening, about four o'clock, and we were under the bridge to the bridge and down the bottom of the road in in Navan.

And we're Hitchin. We had packed up the bags. We had all our clothes washed. We had all our jeans washed. We were going back to Dublin to four for another week. We had cheddar cheese and we had sausages and we had bacon and rashers. And my mother had stopped us cold to call tawaf. Bags of blocks kind of caused us to go out and do a couple of dogs to fix the pork chops, 400 pairs of socks.

We were going back to Dublin from Narbonne and we will be no tonight. So we said we'd have one point down on Smit's at the bridge just before we hitched. So it was within a quick pint.

But it was about four o'clock on a Sunday afternoon, and this was before the bypass, before that dual carriageway to Dublin, and I felt as I put my thumb out, as I just said, and we're at the river, there's nowhere to go to the toilet. And I just went, do I need to? We know I don't. And I put the torment and I said, hold on. So scram, because it was a busy, busy, busy thoroughfare.

People come from Kabbalistic to go from back back in the day. It was only an hour to remember the agony of an hour or an hour for an hour from Dublin. That's obviously enough. And that was one of the big you had that I'd have a conference only an hour from Dublin was one of the biggest ads of the Internet for the last 50 years. But when one radio was all over the world now and carpets as well as Aboriginal people, that would never have seen the light of day.

And you meet them in the street in Sydney and they said, we don't know you from now. The An now from Dublin. So at forty five minutes later, this car stopped. My car stopped. I saw it was but I said we've got to get to Dublin. We'd had the point we wrote the night before car stops, we fired the bags, said, where are you going? We went, yes, we got into the back of the car.

Then we got to Mulholland and there was traffic back before the bypass. And all this, the motorway, Mulholland, Killarney, it was windy. It was this. It was dark. And, you know, I'm in the back of the car and I started to get agitated. My legs are just this is a true story. My brother Freddie's asleep because I know they're going. Harry, I talking.

And I would and I'm that. And I said he was it was just one lad driving. And I'm sort of saying, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you don't ask about can you get out and stop and have a wee when you're finished. So we got to get to Blanchetown. I'm up off the street and I'm there like this and I'm really starting. And then I'm coming in by the Ashtown Tin Box and by the Phoenix Park. And I'm Robin Oakley.

Please, please, please, please, please don't think you're going to get the hot sweats now. I'm terrible. I'm not going away. I'm not going to. I'm not going to. We are not going to be. I mean, the back of the car we want to do is get to Dublin and then it comes into the cab by the church and he drops us off. We get the bike there pretty quick, fucking bastard with the jacks.

And I'm really passing. I've got to go to the toilet. I'm really bad. Fred really is laughing. And we go round that little shop and there's friends were across from the Capitol and the big church and there's a side alleyway into Kaupapa. Can we get another one going? Forty to forty four. Forty six. Fifty to fifty four. Fifty fifty eight. Cabra puts the key in the door and I have a lovely pair of bleached denim so I have a lovely pair because I was in a big country and you two and simple minds and my mother just wash them and then I, I get up the stairs and I get up to the first landing and I can see the door and I go and as I lifted my final leg I just said, Oh.

And then I just stood there, I stood there and we just went round down the sides of boats and my my my lovely faded jeans just went dark blue and I just fucking stood there going, I don't hold it anymore. I can't hold on anymore. I'm fucking Boston and I piss my pants right outside the door and the only feet away from the toilet.

I remember one time I left the house and Richard think it might parents and I were dead. I was four hours left and I came back over to the other side.

I'll be with her, for fuck's sake, or our sister. That was the work of our folks. You know, the bag into the corner. And you what do you do?

There was no Netflix back then and there was no bottom seven pounds from a naked model aims.

And I think you have a gift for this. And I don't think I have a gift for to my father. My father has a gift for friendship. So he had been for the past 40 years, has been meeting the same fellows every Friday night for pints down the local bar. And then I know the old bridge international bridge in. Why is that? Why my father could tell you exactly how many steps it is from the back step of our house to the front step of the operation.

I don't even measure them. So and he really must have missed it the last couple of months.

Not being able to do that totally and I'm amazed by it, is that there's a kind of a community decision between the four lads that this friendship is important and that we will make space in our lives for us. And the way we'll do that is by whatever we get up to Monday to Thursday and Saturday to the Thursday is that every Friday night we'll do this. We will meet for points. And I just it's a gift, you know, and we are great friends.

But our friendship, I think, is so much dependent on work. So we need to be working together in order to be seen each other because we're both separate, you know, because you're travelling the world and traveling the country. And it's just like it's it's very hard for us to get to get to meet one another when we're on the road because you be on the road three or four days a week and the three or four days a week that you're home, then you have to be around family, youngsters of greatness, the friendship between young folks who are living together or when their students are taught.

My daughter is phenomenal. But as you get older, you need to be careful. I almost need to make room for a specific ritual during the week that keeps your friendships intact. I hate phone calls. I fucking I'm not a of for ringing up for a chat. Men and I think women are amazing. Oh, yeah, they're good at that. You know, and I remember years ago a woman said to me about friendships was that the loyalty that women feel towards one another in terms of friendship and women are very good at the friendship is going a little bit sideways.

They'll address and they'll say, I don't actually like Susan at the moment and I'm not getting on, so I better inform her and sort it out. But it's a wonderful thing that women have, which men, men need to be doing things together in order to keep the friendship alive, like you need to be in war or something. Yeah, men need to be fighting other the fellows, like global proponents, toddlers are welcome to come to that.

Nothing unites people. Oh, yeah. Fight.

It's seven o'clock in the evening, the soft rain coming in from the west seems down for the night. There's a Golden Globe when the bodies, the Amber Street lights reflected in the water, a seagull flies into the back of a truck and you see a child setting fire to a school bag. The young woman squeezes into a red leather skirt. You walk into your favorite bar and it is full of your favorite people. You catch the barman's eye and say, Powers, please pass.

And you think to yourself, what a wonderful world powers. Bold character bottled. Drink responsibly, visit, drink away or dirty. Mick, can we just hear the glasses, please, and we just sorry, can you click more glasses or listen to this? What did you have for breakfast?

I had muesli. What did you have?

Well, I'll tell you what I did this morning, because obviously I was a bit slow and things weren't just working the way they normally work. I couldn't face putting on porridge, so I decided to go to Ballona before I left and I or I rang a fella that I get coffee off every day. Dave. Hi, Dave. What's the name? Coffee. Dave's deli class. I can't drink all the coffee because my heart is racing.

I would say, like, I don't know when we had to to get back to normal with a restaurant like three. Yeah.

My restaurant that's mine would be like eleven eleven because everybody should completely relax.

That's over years of smoking stuff that you shouldn't have been smoking. I never smoked. I never, never, never, never ever ever put one on your mouth. Well yeah, but not as a kind of a daily habit. My drug of choice was always drugs to send you out there as opposed to drugs. Really. Yeah. Thanks, Mick. So I was always interested in drugs that made you more excited more.

Were you not afraid of of like where it would take. Yeah. What would happen to you.

That's the adventure business when you take. I'd be afraid if I took something I di I had to have this. Certainly the the consultants thought that I had a problem with my heart. He thought that I had like an extra round of like blood going around my.

Did he say that the ventricles were pumping. And what he said to me was ises OK. Yes he did. He said this and then he took me in. He put these cameras into my groin, put them all up into my heart. I don't. Yeah, but the four chambers, they put them these cameras into the four chambers of your heart, and it's one, two and three in one side and one in. When were you awake?

Yes, because they had you and he says, I need to keep you awake because I need to see how your heart reacts. Because what he did was he did your heart beating very fast. If you need to do the next thing you know, it was a sensation. And I was like, well, now they do sedate, you know, you're awake, you're conscious.

But this is very interesting because we think the heart conditions are for men and men. Check your heart and we support what the women do. By the way, we don't. Women generally do. And I think that's what he was really putting the camera in, the washing machines that you see.

And so it's like going into the appliance. Welcome to the world point central. It's so easy for people to think I was there, I, I said I can feel it like going up through my body. So I saw the screen because you went into another room. Could you see me or flags in the distance, you know, and and the nurses were there with me but he was in the other room looking at the screen.

Was there any ads on it? No, I was really hoping for the bingo numbers to go up. So the next thing he says to me now, he said, I'm going to the strip. They're going to feel we're going to give you a lot of adrenalin to see how your heart reacts to it. I'm going to pump adrenaline in. And then next thing I got, I was like, oh, Jesus.

I think my eyes are like, oh, it's roarin in the bed. It was only just. Oh, yeah, sort of about they injected adrenaline into your system.

A system to see how my fiction. Yeah.

No, like me within the module. Next this fine big haemorrhaged start coming up my groin where I was like oh fuck. It was like I was just feeling I had my hand here right. Next thing it was just swelling up. No it didn't come out. It was swelling up like one of them was injecting me with morphine for the pain and the other one was pushing the haemorrhage out.

It was like it was an option. It was now people obviously women have had babies and they understand that obviously I have never had one. So I don't want to I don't know that you would go to the hospital and they give you the issue, but that's good enough.

Yeah, I understand this for nine months, you go to hospital and they give you a baby.

Did I ever tell you this story? When Tommy had one of his beautiful children born? I wanted to see one. I don't. And the next day, baby born, big head to red hair. And Tommy wasn't there. I thought you'd be there, but I brought flowers and Lucozade and grapes and woman's own and the meat. The father and I bought the handy around the corner to be in and I brought their TV and. Woman's Own, an R.S.V.P., and the night I arrived in with a load of gear and I said, Where's Tommy?

And he's not here. And I said, OK. And we had great and beautiful seat. And I couldn't believe that clump of red hair. Was it New York? I think so. Both both my sons have red hair and gorgeous, gorgeous red locks, as I said, in Albany, Albany, Orange Lyon. I laughed and and fantastic. And Yvonne is a redhead. So at the end, it was just brilliant to see another Tiernan arriving into the world and another newborn baby.

Devam was doing well and we were doing well. And I said, I've got to go now. I don't my half an hour. And then I said, well, we just when we just send a photo to himself. So Yvonne said, Yeah, come on, he's nobody here. There was nobody there. She was on her own. She was on her own. I was there for half an hour there and nobody got no idea. After the day I everything of once a woman gets pregnant that she's not allowed in the house.

She lives in Riverside. And then when she comes back in the wrong time when the baby's born, Tommy was there, Tommy was there, but Liverpool were playing so he can offer a couple of hours. Only a friend who's a pre-season went against Untracked. It was important to have fun to watch. So I said there's no visitors. So I said, do you mind getting a photo? And I said, we'll send the photograph. So I laid out on the bed beside him on the ward and we I had the red hair, long locks, and she opened the red hair on the pillow.

And we had the red haired baby red hair and the red haired babies. ITRs and I took a photo and. Happy family. A father graduate. It was one of those great moments, but Yvonne got such a kick out of it because the redheads are funny the way, you know, the redhead children.

But you can only be you can only fire the redhead kids if there's red headed blood in your in your family. So you if say, say, if and if an African made love to a redhead, it's unlikely that the child does have red hair because the African would need red blooded jeans. So say if a Chinese person made love to a redhead who where you come up with this, it's all about the PSP. Forty nine. That's it.

If both parents have to have it, if only one parent has got red hair in your family. Well, what might. My beard used to go on, but my beer used to go red and when I was a godsend girl, there's no redheads in my wife's family and that's why I planted children, because I couldn't believe when I say you, you have betrayed me.

That's what you tell me. Two people have to have the both both parents have to have the gene for the synergy.

Well, actually, now, interestingly enough, my brother, when he was growing up, had bright orange hair. His wife has red hair. His hair is now brown, which is changed. And he hasn't dated. But they're kids. None of them have red hair right there that maybe he's not your brother or maybe they're not just children. So we're open even for a wedding and everyone's there. And it was a cousin of mine get married in a really cool place called Kiruna Brahmi House.

They used to be posh places and meet for weddings like that. Carol would like to in the library to the head. Fourteen, Kels, the roundabout disenrolled that was offered. And then and then he got very posh with the new tennis courts and all the time. So we were going to count the Brayne house and there was a wedding there. So it was a cousin of mine. So Treene and my mom was there and we were all there.

All the cousins, everybody. The boys made the trip suit. I locked up the house too. So I locked up the house and I ordered a minibus to take us to class to bring the house from our house near the Kels Road and have them and I. And as we left the house, I checked the door and I had the key of my mother's house and I said, I've got the key, by the way. And we went to the Web and we had a great night at the wedding.

And then at about 11:00 that night, we were Walson and about 1:00 in the morning, everyone's getting tired. And I ordered the same man from the husband to come back and collect me in a minibus. And then my mom was well into her 70s at this. I did. You were. You were well into the wine and we were well aunt.

So we went we got the minibus back from Brayne, the Pharmaceutical's into Navan and it took it was forty minutes, forty minutes, great celebrations. And I get to the door of my house and a quarter to two, a quarter to two in the morning and I try and find the key. I'm searching the suit and the minibus, the infinite amount of pockets. The minibus goes inside, the minibus goes the many Bosco's schools. And I'm after having a beautiful mind just one second.

And it was a heavy duty. And then into the short pockets.

You know that you know that suit pocket at the back, which has a button and I'm down and there's wads of cash coming out and under another and my mother is there to ticket receipts and stuff.

And then there's the menu from the hotel and I'm going one second and it's OK and I'm there. And then and then I take my jacket off and I give it to my brother. And I said, Can you check? Because I'm well on at this stage. And he's checking the jacket and then I'm there going, right. And then we check outside under the pot of flowers. And then I went, did we ever leave a key under the stones in the second place?

And we go over there and the donkey. So then there's about six months. It's the house at about two o'clock in the morning and my mother is there and then. Oh jeez. And she's there, OK, and they're gone. Knock, knock, knock. Another 50 minutes of search and I search jacket, shirt, everything I said. I'll take care of everything here. I'll take care of it. Give me one of the give me the more one.

Google Google ad buy in hotel. Hello. Hello. Yeah. It's not the hotel. Yeah. Hi it's Hector. Yeah. Hector. Hector. He can speak to you. Hello. Yeah. Have you got a couple of rooms tonight. Yes, you have. Thank you. I'll take three of them right now with more than 50 million left in the morning, you know, so we know kids are not know notice. So we're the most magnificent team.

I know it totally into the fucking Holocaust. It was my mother. My mother turned into Madou. So she was like, okay, I got the key who's got me? So I didn't have to ring the same taxi my back. Paul Politicker, you wouldn't come back and bring yourself to the airport or stay in there tonight. I thought I could bring the. Pluggable, broken, probably talk about photobook families. We all at the point, maybe it was a game we all had to play.

And I said, how are you, Paul? I thought I was just finishing the day to get one more run. And I said, it's a long story. Paul is that he dropped us off. It gets better because I know. I know. I know the reception in the airplane hotel at three o'clock in the morning and my family and my mother's gonna get me a bed. Quick, quick, emoter.

I took three rooms for everybody and I put my mom in. I got a cup of tea and I put my mom and my brother one down to the point. And I said, I need a point. And then everyone's like this. I got up at 7:00 in the morning on that Saturday morning and I was out in the car. I was outside in the foyer and I was Googling Navan, locksmith's, locksmith's, locksmith's. OK, then nine o'clock, half, nine Saturday.

Hello. I have you checked out here? You would be able to do a job and go in the back door of the house. I don't know. Bother we'd be there by 11 o'clock as they are. Can you do it any sooner? We're in a hotel. No, no. I have 11 12 out of the house again with the locksmith while everyone was in the hotel. Locksmith arrives. I get a taxi to the house, he goes to the back door and he goes, are you sure the one you want to do this after you've no key?

So he just breaks the thing. He says a gun or a pistol goes next, repositioning Yutang and put a new plate glass window on the whole thing. He gives me a new keys and everything, so he gives me four new keys to the back door back at the ad, buy him, collect all the family, ring the taxi again. Blow my. This is two o'clock in the afternoon and we're all looking like it's the zombies. And we finally get home and we go in the back door and we open the back door and then I go for a shower.

And then I take off my suit and I hang the suit up, then I go, what's that little sneezy, tiny little pocket that's inside? There's a little slit pockets, just a tiny little pocket beside the door. On the inside. On the inside, there's a tiny slit. There's a second there. There's a there's a tiny slip. There's a secret. There's a secret pocket. And what came out of the fucking jacket? The fucking key.

Well, I swear to fuck. Did I tell my mother no. And Lord restaurant thanks be to Jesus. No, it cost me about fucking five hundred and fifty fucking euro.

I got the key by the way.

Just let the viewers know I'm on the whiskey known as gorgeous to know that their leader was a wreck. My chance. Oh God knows my wife.

Tell me tell me. Is now sitting back and his legs are spread. All the whiskey is going in and that's what they look like. You're just letting the poor and the kids. We aren't even go to school.

I'm actually feeling sick from OK, if you give me another. Can I just say I'm sorry.

So we are in Africa.

Oh. What was the reason given at all? Oh, you are not don't. Tell me. Give it to me.

You are looking to at the first time I got to Kenya and Roscoe and Evan were there and we were travelling to the north of Kenya to meet the cousins of the Masai, the Samburu, and we drove for about eight hours north of Nairobi. They were going to meet us and we were going to spend four days in the middle of nowhere with them. The accommodation was pretty basic tents we got to know them to on the last day, they sent a few warriors down from the tribe to say that they invited me into the village for a fertility ceremony.

And a local lad that was with us said, Hector, this is a big thing. They sent down a load of white oxen and a wooden chariot for me to get home with the Warriors. And I got on with the Warriors and they turned around. They brought me about two miles out into the bush, to the boonies, to these pots they built. So next minute, the women of the village arrived and they're all dressed in their in their finery.

And they're like the Maasai. They've got loads of jewellery on their necks and they're chanting and everything in this three marriage has gone on in the village and a shouting and unbelievable noise. So we got off. Everybody is having a great day. The chief grabs me and he brings me over. And he says, Hector, we would like you to slaughter a goat, pick a goat from the corral and then grab them by both feet and they put them on the back of his shoulder and he brought them over to me and he showed them to me.

And I said, yeah, he's good. And then all this is being prepared. So meanwhile, the women of the village are corralling around three couples that are getting married. And then they laid them down on these three massive leaves, the goat, and they slowly closed. This is mouth and they started slitting down underneath the neck and they'd make a little pouch and the fresh blood would flow into the pouch. And then the warriors got down. They started drinking more Jesus, the warm blood of the animals for protein.

So this is all happening. Oh, yeah. The next minute that they open the intestines, they open the stomach. This wonderful this is how they're drinking and their Blasco.

I know Rascoe, my cameraman is down in the middle of this. And this isn't this is, this is Matt. Then your man slits it with this machete slits like an artist, slits the intestine, opens the stomach, then the chief comes over the tribe. The three couples are brought up towards the animal and then the chief puts his hand and takes out the grass, the freshly eaten grass of the animal. Then he goes over to the three couples and he smears it on their penises and on her tits.

I have breasts and a smear tribal. They're very, very little. And they have their adornato, don't they don't have not wearing a wedding dress like it's in Ireland. Right. So he starts smearing the genitals of both male and female. And I'm God, this is fucking mud. Next minute, the three couples are ushered away to their to to their huts and the women of the village create a barrier around the main door. And they start chanting and they're inside and the consummate their marriage, and this went on for about 30 minutes, a couple of consummates their marriage.

But the women in front of other people, the more they're in the house with the women, the women block, is this too much on the buttons? And this is phenomenal. This no, no, this is incredible.

The women in the door chanting in half an hour later, the three couples come out and the celebrations begin there. Is that barbecued there now? One bit left the bones, the kidneys, the intestines. And I was guest of honour at this one. Roscoe had been trying for a child with his wife, Caroline. For. I'd say five years with no success, IV treatment, assisted pregnancy, everything you can name, no go even, right?

Not a thousand and thousands of euros spent on treatment. And because we're traveling all the time with these chats and he goes, are you having a baby? Congratulations, blah, blah, blah. And I say, yes, of first boy in the mask will be going well, we're still an IV. And all this we come back to Ireland and Roscoe rings me and he goes, Caroline's pregnant. And I fucking cried on the phone. I said, You're not.

This is a lot. I've traveled all over the world for 10 years, 12 years before that, because she's pregnant and she's pregnant. I said, I don't believe this. I was just after coming out of the doctor's surgery and going to the doctor I went to, had spent 20 years in Africa and as I left that surgery, this is a true story. The doctor, his father said to me, he's obviously an older doctor who is retired.

He said, Hector, were you in Africa? And I said, yes, I was. He'd been in in Egypt. And we've been in Ethiopia and Kenya. We were at the Samburu. He said, I spent nine years in Kenya. He said, you were at the Samburu. No way. I said I with them, I was brought into a ceremony. He said that the most powerful fertility tribe in the world.

No way. And Dippenaar walked out of that surgery about a minute later and she goes, Wow, I'm pregnant again, we're having another baby. It was Fokin. We've got a baby. I have another one. And then babies came left, right and center.

Raskob three children within the space of four years, and he there was nothing happening. A fabulous source that is that. Can I just can I just hold onto you there no more.

Always will raise glass and never forget our listeners and listeners who are maybe taking a walk through the woods and they're here to drink the of weren't friends and have a drink or literally used in the laps of the pitch.

Yeah. And she's on our six lap and we're going to get another point in. We were driving our nurses, our accountants who are advising our teachers who are driving home listening to the heroes of the large is I love with her.

I think she'd have somebody just got in touch of the show recently and they said, I've just done a 12 hour stint in the hospital and this is a doctor. And she was on her way home. And this podcast put tears down her face. She was crying on the way at half is getting into her house in the morning. And that makes me happy. And that's when the podcast started. And after a couple of weeks, we got this kind of chart from Google or a cast for Apple on one of these large organizations to tell us where the people who are listening to the podcast, I fascinated by its audience at the top and then England and then America can all be there and thousands, thousands of top ten, five.

I would like to say hello to the one percent male or female.

I do not know who is listening to the show in Iran, but the US and I don't know who you are or identify yourself or if you're a paddy in exile or just some kind of a stray on the Internet wandering around, or just a local who loves podcasts.

So in your honor, whoever you are, we'll call you for the moment. We'll call you Mustaffa in the heat and a Sharia state at this particular junction. I say hello to you and say, I hope you get giggles. And those three people in the restaurant in the religious autocracy that is Iran. And if you ever find yourself this side of the river, don't you ever find yourself this side of the river on this side, a golden city.

We'd love to meet you in the crane bar for a pint. And this clink is for you.

I hope you enjoyed this. God bless, good luck and not more. Good afternoon. Party on. We're not going to taxi.

We're staying out all night. No, I have a snooze.

I got to get all the radio on there, all the Epsom salts thrown in the back of a bus for. This podcast is part of the a cast creator network.

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