Transcribe your podcast
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Welcome to this is important. A production of I Heart Radio, the show where we only talk about what is most obviously very crucially important today on this is important, your butt naked and now you need that little trim of hair around your asshole to keep you warm or else you might die. If someone pulls a gun on me, I will arrest them. And it just it really did hit the spot. It really did. My orgasms have become a little bit more groundbreaking.

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Let's go. Well, how does it feel? I think I'd be a good Kyle. Would Blake make it better, Kyle, then Kyle?

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Hey, if you're wondering why my voice sounds so weird in this podcast, it's because I'm wearing a mask. Be safe and be smart guys down.

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Well, there's all those Kyle memes that are actually, like, really hard to stomach.

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Are there any old Kiles? Kyle feels like a very millennial name. I have a lot of friends named Kyle.

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There are a lot of you know, I'm a millennial. No, we're millennials. But how many younger how many younger Kile's do you know than Kyle?

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Oh, I'm saying it's a very our age range named Kyle. Yeah. And there's no dads named Kyle. I don't know a single dad named Kyle.

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Well, my parents did name it off of a guy who was credited on Hill Street Blues like they saw the name Bradley. They were like, wow.

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And so so there was an older guy, obviously, because that was an 84 on Jack Black. Is Kyle Gas? Yeah. Oh, Kyle Gas.

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OK, so there are some remember that later for some apologise and take back place. Thanks.

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For whatever reason, Kyle took hold in the year 1980 to the early 1990s.

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A true grasp. Yes. And we know why. It's because of Hill Street Blues. You see, Hill Street Blues took it over the edge. Yeah. In that crazy. You guys watch that Anthony Michael Hall video I sent you guys of him screaming at people while he's swimming in a pretty normal hotel pool. Yeah.

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And you know what? If he was in his laps in and they were they were breaking swimmer protocol, I got his back losing his mind.

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He was just like, fuck you, fuck you and your whole family. Yeah, it was I love I love when people just snap like that.

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That stuff is like, yeah, obviously he's being very rude dude, during the filming of that. But I wonder as an editor, like what was before the endpoint and after the outpoint, you know what I mean. What would it have to go on the clip that we get to see.

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She obviously wasn't an improper because she kept just going, you're crazy. Yeah, you're insane. And I'm like, well, that's not a yes.

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And you don't want to have any comebacks because you're rolling on them. That's true. You know, and I just want to say this real quick. I, in the year 2002, put a few bids on the black jeans that Anthony Michael Hall wore and Edward Scissorhands lost out when they went over one hundred and twenty dollars. It was just a little too deep for my pockets. Wow.

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I don't know who Anthony Michael Hall is, which none of us really knew who he was. And we had to ask andas he is from weird science and along with other John Hughes movies, and he was kind of a nerd when he was a kid and I think he must of that must have like weighed on him.

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And then he was like, I have to lift weights, I have to be a joke as I grow, dude.

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Hey, look, some people have to do that, OK? He's inches from he's from the Breakfast Club, too, right? Yes. He was the Nerd Embroiderers. Yes, I.

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I snapped yesterday. I'll admit this. I was out riding. First of all, I've been riding my bike bicycle a lot lately. I got a road bike with the skinny tires. I wear spandex shorts and I get after it. I need to wear more neon. That's what I need to do.

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But I got hit by a car two days ago.

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I got clipped by a car where I was listening to a podcast because of my podcast BWE Now. And it ended.

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And so it didn't just start a new podcast, which it's supposed to do. And so I had to open up my phone while riding the bike like twenty miles an hour and try to switch podcasts in this car turned right in front of me and I like bounced off the side of it, like clipped the side of it didn't fall. So am I good at cycling? Yeah, I'm OK. So but then the very next day a similar thing happens with a car I kind of pull out in front of it.

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It lays on the horn to me and was like fucking flipping out, like honking at me.

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And I'm like, you're in a truck, I'm riding a bicycle. Thugaboo is like, you want to do some bottomly pull over, motherfucker. And I, like, totally snap. He pulls over, I get off my bike, he pulls over like a block up, I get off my bike, I unclip and then I'm like clomping towards them. And I'm like, You want to go motherfucker. And then he just shakes his head like because I look like such an idiot walking in those shoes.

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Yeah. Wearing my spandex pants, marching over to him like a psychopath. And then he gets in and drives away. But I'm like, oh, you're scared.

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You're scared or I was scared. He was. I was.

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But obviously he was a little scared. He got in his car and drove away. He was afraid of your confrontation. So, you know, I think that's the move.

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If you have to go full bore, full steam ahead and then let them balk, because if you show any weakness, then then they they've won this emotional battle.

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It sounds like you grew up around a bunch of bitches. Because that would never work. Well, no, no, no. Well, then you just have to fight a man.

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Exactly. Oh, is that like that's a Rage Against the Machine lyric.

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And you just find a man and then you just lose your house. He just takes your house.

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Yeah, that's a tough one. Can you. Like, what are those clip shoes? Do they have like spikes at the bottom?

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No, they're super slippery. If he pushed you, you would have like Ayda, they would I would have got my I mean, if he would have just touched me at all, I would have fallen over, you know, I'm going to get my ass kicked.

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I'm I'm much more into that. The vulnerable male, you know, say you're sorry and, you know, apologize for yelling and.

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Well, for sure. I mean, I didn't mean to snap. I mean, I'm just I'm vulnerable because I was almost hit by y was hit by a car yesterday or the day before that yesterday almost got hit again.

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And then this guy was mad at me and I'm like, dude, you're in the truck.

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I'm on a bicycle. Right.

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You, like, already sold yourself out. You're on a bike, not paying attention, switching tracks and shit up your bike.

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No, no, no. You're getting hit by the car the day before, was it? It is on me. He did turn into the bike lane, but I should have been watching.

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This was two story. What's this? Yeah, that was the day before. Oh, I never got that transition. Yeah. And then yesterday.

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That's why I think I snapped as hard as I did because this guy honked at me as if it's all my fault.

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And it wasn't that time. Right. And I was hit by a car yesterday. I'm like, I'm not trying to go too far to.

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I actually think that might be a pretty normal reaction. Kyle, do you remember way back in the day we were in the city in San Francisco and we saw dude get smacked by a car very hard and the first thing he did was stand up and be like, why are you hitting people with cars?

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Oh, yeah, that was his reaction. That's amazing. Right?

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So maybe that was freaky. That was like coming back from the strip clubs or something like that.

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He was dead. He does mean that's what road rage is.

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Somebody just put your life in jeopardy and you fucking lose it because you you're like, whoa, hey, it's you're scared.

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It's it's a scary moment. So then you go into a freaking fight mode or flight mode, but most people go into fight and then, you know, there you have it, pick a fight with them.

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I mean, snapping.

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I remember one time I was out by the Whole Foods on Fairfax in L.A. and I remember like this guy honked at me for something and I just snapped and I fucking get out of my car.

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I'm like, You wanna go, motherfucker?

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And then he gets out of his car and he's just jacked. It's like this guy's a UFC trained badass.

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He's just look like he could kick my ass. And then I go, I scream, you have no idea what kind of day I've had, which, by the way, perfectly normal day.

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I think it was like noon. I was going to get a coffee like is my first outing of the day.

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I haven't done shit and that and then this guy and then for whatever reason, I just snapped. Then I get in an attorney lane and he pulls up next to me and he goes, Hey, man, I just want to let you know I'm a big fan.

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And I'm like, Oh, wow, you like Ultimate Deflater.

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And I was like, Sorry, man, just really, really rough day. Just really a little bit.

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You just reminded me that when I was a P.A. and for those of you home, that's a production assistant. You're basically like a gopher on a production for real time. And I don't actually go for not an actual word.

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Thank you for that. Not an asshole. Go for. Yeah, just for those outside of Hollywood. Yeah. OK, well anyway it's crickets bit. So I had like a designated parking spot next to our trailers. I could like get groceries and like not have to deliver them across the lot. I get back from getting groceries and Terrence Howard had just parked in my spot like was getting out and I was like honked at him like hey you can't park.

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There is like I got to go meet who's Terrence Howard, Terrence Howard and flow from Crash Crabcake. I had my guys.

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That's called being the viewer. The listener. OK, yeah. I was asking for them.

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I know who Terrence Howard is. Obviously I'm a I'm a huge Terrence Howard fan.

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I just because I'm just slow down. Slow down just for the listeners. OK, all right. Right. It's for the listeners.

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I'm like, you can't park there. And he's like, I got to go to my meeting with his fucking dope voice. And I'm like, Terrence Howard, I don't want to argue with you, but you got to go. He's like, I'm running late, man. Like, Go, dude, I got groceries to get in here. I'm going get fired. Do you want to be the guy who got me fired? And he's like, damn it made movie like Mad Man.

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And I dude, I didn't tell him I was a fan.

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Of course I'm a fan, but like.

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But you had Halo top melting in your tree.

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I was toe to toe with Terrence Howard with melting groceries. And I'm just like, dude, I'm getting paid zero dollars. Can you please move your BMW? Terrence Howard has an awesome music album out as well. I don't know if you guys knew that yet. Hustle and Flow, it's the whole soundtrack. Yeah, I did. It won a Grammy brother. Oh, no, no, no, wait.

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It's hard out here for you. All right. Well, check it out. What do we think about his Iron Man movie? He was like, I want some of that Marvel money, man.

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And they were like, no, we got to get down on who did they replace him with?

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Don Cheadle from guys. And was that a money move?

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Is that what it was? He was like, I need more money. I think he wanted more money because they were like, you're going to get a war machine movie at some point. And he was like, OK, cool, pay me for that. And they were like, well, not yet. This is all hearsay. Who knows, allegedly do do one or more money. And they said no. And.

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Well, I that's where they blew it. That's where they lost me on the Marvel movies. You were out once, Terrence.

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Left. Right. You know what? Me too. As a huge Terrence Howard fan, who knows who he is.

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That's where they lost me. Oh, allegedly. I do I do love Terrence Howard, but I love Don Cheadle. So I was like, all right.

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Yeah. Don Cheadle is off the charts, man. He's the best.

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Yeah, Don Cheadle is the shit. I disagree. I mean, I'm maybe I'll work with Don Cheadle someday. And if that's the case, I'll lie to his face and say, I like you better than Terrence Howard.

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I will lead off with that.

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But weird lead off. All right. Hey, man, how are you doing? Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Terrence Howard. Shit. You're the king. He doesn't do it for me. I don't. I don't.

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Have you seen who do you think's worth more trashy Munnabhai? Oh, for sure.

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Dawn the dawn baby, by the way, Ders has like a little remote control by that thing from a little remote control thing that has sounds wacko soap star on Sunset and Los Feliz Boulevard.

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And you bought something from the 80s with the sound machine is like primitive.

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I don't know.

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They're primitive, but they're pretty good.

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OK, I wasn't even sure we're working on getting an actual soundboard. It's going to be amazing. It's also going to derail every conversation, but we're looking forward to it.

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Hey. OK, that's taken a little too long and, yeah, I don't know. Oh, man, that one. You should see the smile on my face.

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Guys, guys, we're going to get so good at podcasting, like tenth or fifteenth episode.

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We're going to be so good. Yeah. Takes 20 takes it takes 40. But we're by 15. I think we're really going to have it dialed in.

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You know what I keep thinking about? I keep thinking about andas losing out to somebody else on Michael.

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Seashores, jeans. Dang. I mean hotto so I'm in college, I'm not dropping over one hundred twenty dollars on like you've jeans from Edward Scissorhands. Can't do it.

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I went up to go drop that money now what was so you was your numbers right.

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They were ibid I think ninety nine and somebody wanted to one twenty and I was like I can't do it. And they were black, they were black jeans. Levi's in the era of like you don't rock black jeans like 2001 down. But they were his from Edward Scissorhands man this is pre Kyle area.

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This is before. Yeah. These poor kids were named Kyle. Yeah.

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Oh man. Before they were getting baptized in Monster. All those Meems.

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That's kind of weird because like I feel like Kyle is the karren of of men. I did see that they were doing that like they were like what should we name the male Karen? And like Kyle was always on the list and.

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Oh yeah, well it's hard k it's the sound that is I thought Chad is a better choice.

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I honestly thought Chad is the one I talk about Chad and Derek's for like twenty minutes on in my standup special. Todd Todd's good.

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It's all Todd. Yeah. I feel like Chad is a bro.

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Well, Todd to me sounds like a dumb guy like. Oh good one, Todd. Yeah, Todd's an idiot. Good one, Todd.

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But that's who these people are. These people are idiots, right? That's that's. Yeah, for sure. Chad is more aggro young from in my mind.

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Or at least he's a young soul. OK.

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Oh wow. Interesting. Chad is a young soldier. Oh wait. Were we not talking about souls, you know. No, I actually want to transition to souls. That's what that's the thing with Anders's. You're always talking souls. Yeah. I don't have one so I just like to talk about it.

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Oh, baby. Oh come on. Give yourself some credit. You got a beautiful heart in there.

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I actually didn't think the name hÉireann was correct. It's not fair because I have an Aunt Karen who's just a really lovely lady.

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I feel like Barb is like this closer to what it is. Susan, I disagree. I Susan. Susan, Susan's pretty good.

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I think Karen is slam dunk. My I have a friend named. It sounds made up already.

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I don't know your line name. Yeah.

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I have a friend who I didn't know if we should Kevin Hart, but not the famous Kevin Hart. My my white buddy who is Wow.

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Fatmir white buddy, huh. Yeah. He's not the famous one. So anyways.

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And what race is he just so we're clear about it. What are we doing here? I don't know. I guy. Yeah.

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And so he, we called him Karen like five years ago, we would call him Karen because he would just complain and be bitchy about stuff. And someone came up with the nickname Karen. And then hilariously this thing is caught on nationwide and people call people that are acting like fucking lunatics.

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Karen So let me just get this straight. Your friend named Kevin Hart, who lost his personal name to famous Kevin Hart, was then nicknamed Karen and now has lost Karen due to an international phenomenon.

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Oh, boy, that's fucking sick. Can't catch a break.

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That guy break him. Feel bad for him. Good thing he's a total maniac is.

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Yeah, but he still has that. He still has that awesome nickname. Mouth doesn't think that's true.

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That only stuck with our close friend group. I don't think that. Is that a spread.

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Yeah. No mouth is a great name. Yeah. That's a great name. Hey Waymouth. They're not gonna move him out of the office.

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He gave up the box one. I think because the whole thing was, is that every time you saw the dude he just had a purple.

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Now it's just always purple. So unreal. Yeah. That is always such an insane look like the purple team.

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Oh yeah. It's like the Joker bro.

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For anybody. Yes. Like for if you're like a fancy party with like parents and stuff. Yeah. And they're asking you like so what's it like in L.A. and they're just teather like just red and we're like, yeah, that's what it is. That's just the deal.

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At what point does cause me and Chloe last night split a bottle of one drink?

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The whole thing is no big deal. We're wild and none neither of us had wine mouth. Yeah. Windies wine mouth kick in. When does it kick in. It could be two bottles.

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If you're drinking like shitty wine, I want to say maybe it like leaves a film or maybe it's a sign of great wine.

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Yeah, that's the good stuff. It could also be like a blacklight of. Brushing teeth is like teeth in a while. Yes, Tarzan Listerine guy hasn't swung through that mouth.

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That's another it's a gingivitis indicator. So you're always going to get rimshot.

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Hey, guys, how to avoid Waymouth brush your teeth before eating, not after the tannins in the wine. Cling to any plaque on your teeth. So technically, if you've got more plaque on your teeth, you're going to get more wine.

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Oh, this just made it so much worse. Yeah, most of it is impressive. It is.

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It's the waymouth is the blacklight of oral hygiene.

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Mm. Yeah. So now when you see your Aunt Karen with the wide mouth, you're like, listen lady, brush your teeth, go brush your teeth. You're disgusting. Go brush your teeth.

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Yeah. And maybe floss too. You know, flossing is more important than brushing. So do them both.

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How long do you guys brush your teeth for. How long. Yeah. And how much toothpaste you use 30 minutes.

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Just a solid 30 minutes. A solid 30.

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Every night I destroy my toothbrushes. My toothbrushes are absolutely insane.

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Oh, my wife. It's like crazy. So does my two year old. It looks like fuck it. It looks like guiles hair from streetfighter to my.

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Yeah, my my dentist was like, yo, you cannot use your rubbing the enamel of your teeth off with your toothbrush. What are you doing.

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Because I would scrubbing the shit out of a man's obviously getting out a lot of the time. So this is me circling back to how long you're doing it. Like how long because I see like commercials that are like you do thirty seconds this. Thirty seconds. That's a 30 second spot inside. Thirty seconds. And I'm like two minutes. I do not brush my teeth for two minutes. I do. I brush my teeth for two minutes. For two minutes.

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What. My, my electric toothbrush has a timer. Don't you guys have electric. Yeah. It tells you in.

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No I just forget I'm old school. I'm throwback. Ibro you got to get sonic care. No I go myself, I make the noise. It's so much work.

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I put the batteries right about my what I like to put in that work, that little elbow grease right before going to sleep because obviously you're damaging your mouth.

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This dude's like, oh, another workout guy.

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We got to get all this pent up energy. I might snap on somebody. Well, what's up with the flossing hum? Who out there is flossing? Who's doing that?

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Oh, no, never. What I'm I'm flossing fashion wise almost daily. Yeah. Hell yeah. As everyone knows that floss never much. That's wild.

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I don't do it as often as I should. Only if I get something stuck all up in it while I floss.

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If it's a beef jerky day. You guys. Yeah I'm gerkin a little hard that day. I have to force every day. I'm not very, I mean I'm getting better at it but I'm supposed to because I ruined my gums from smoking for 15 years and so I have to.

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Can we play a piano plays soft piano please. Thank you. Are you smokers out there just know that it's going to hurt you? What. I never did smoke them.

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If you got them. I don't care. You know, kills you, bro. What, you don't smoke? I'm not saying I do. I'm saying if you read the paper you to smoke, not you. Those people when you go smoke.

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So you're smoking the youth of America that go smoke. Yeah. Why would you watch your lungs?

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I'm telling everybody to do what they want. It's on the packaging. Remember me Australia. And I'm not telling anybody to stop.

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Excuse me. What the fuck. I'm saying people. No, it's twenty twenty. Smoke in your lungs is not good for you if you want to do it. It's called population control. Unless it's weed though.

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I do remember, I do remember the packaging in Australia and it was out of control and people were still pulling the cigarettes out and smoking like black ones. Yeah.

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Yeah. So the photos on the packets in Australia and a lot of other countries, I believe the the packages for those of you that are listening in America and you're like, I don't travel, guess what, get out there, explore the world.

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It's beautiful.

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But when you go and you try to buy a pack of cigarettes, know that it's going to be fucking disgusting because the packet just shows like a disgusting black and lung or just like someone with their throat missing. Yeah. And just the grossest shit you've ever seen.

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It's like a Nine Inch Nails album cover or something, and they're like twenty five dollars a pack. So you're paying more than like a dollar per pack.

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Crikey mate, I didn't realise it was that expensive. That's nuts.

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Yeah. It's like it's it was elitist. Like smoking was like for the elite over there.

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So that's what they should do here. I'm rich and stupid. The Kardashians just are smoking like thirty packs a day. Look at us go.

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No I can't. They can't do it. Yucky. Bad for the image. You know, it's funny, I'm showing my kid all my favorite movies from childhood and in every movie without fail, somebody is smoking. And like the first time he's like he's smoking them again. People used to do that. And now he's just like, I'm waiting for the smoker. And it all. It always happens. It's amazing. Yeah.

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Well, yeah. Well, smoke looks good on camera. That is something that looks good in person, smoking's cool, does it? I mean, do they smoke for a very long time? Every time I think cooler, I was cooler.

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It does not smell great. Smells bad. Do you remember when you almost started our house on fire multiple times, Kyle? Oh, yeah. Because you had when we were living off Pacard, when you had the butt bowl where you like Bolger's can, where you would put all of his butts when he was done smoking. Let's see.

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That's cool. I never threw it away. I just kept piling butts on top of butts on top of.

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But there was like a thousand. And so the butts just all caught on fire. And we came home one day and the side of our house was on fire because is that how it happened to be our home or did we come out?

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I think you came outside because I remember editing inside my room and you were just like, fire, fire, fire.

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I love those moments when you just when you're like it's kind of like snapping. One is just like pure panic mode when you're like, oh, and I mean, it was a big fire.

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It did look like it made the side of the house. It charred the side of the house.

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It blackened the side. Yeah. It's those moments when you really find out what you're made of. Right. Do you panic? Do you fight the flight? Thank you.

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What do you do? Well, I grabbed a bowl of water. That's what we did. That's usually pretty good right now. That's called using your noggin. Pretty sure I did.

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You might have.

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I might have just screamed fire I that a bowl of water. But was there like a hose right there and you just ran inside for a bowl.

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And now the hose we kept on the back to to Matt down the flies. Yeah. Oh my gosh.

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That house was fucking disgusting. There was no A.C. There was like thousands of flies.

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We had that horrible dog that you shit on everything and ate our cow.

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Not a good dog. I just, like, hated that dog.

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Well, it wasn't exactly the dog's fault. Kyle, you did find it in a nucular desert in the middle of California.

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Yes. He was raised for eleven months on the chemical borax.

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Yeah, he was a watt well out in Trona where I got the dog, like, that's their whole.

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Yeah.

[00:24:56]

Give a little back story I was a grip on for much of my life before we got workaholics and I a grip is a grip is someone that works on a film set that basically shapes the light and works with the lights, essentially, and pushes the camera or connects the camera to cars and does all that sort of like the construction worker of a set.

[00:25:16]

One hundred percent. Yeah. The real cool dudes on the set, in my opinion, smokers, usually smokers, almost all of them.

[00:25:23]

OK, yes. Yes, you're no, I smoked a lot.

[00:25:26]

OK, but you found this dog. It was a puppy when you found him. I found him on a film set. And didn't Danny DeVito tell you you should keep the dog?

[00:25:35]

Well, yeah, there was. I was working on a star studded film. Danny DeVito heard Justin Long, Jonah Hill, Michael C. Hall. Really?

[00:25:45]

What is this? No, it was called Just Add Water. When I worked on it was called one part sugar. But then they changed the title to just add water.

[00:25:52]

Yeah, this dog just kept hanging around the the grip truck. And so I named him Grip's there and brought him back to my hotel room, which he destroyed. And I was getting paid nothing.

[00:26:03]

And I remember half my paycheck went to just the destruction of the hotel room, which for sure keep this dog after it destroyed your hotel room and then bring him back to our house where he destroyed our home.

[00:26:16]

I remember we were gone one day. You know, we all had work and he was had to stay inside for a couple hours. And we came back and there was just half of our couch was missing.

[00:26:26]

And then there was just like fifty puke piles in our house where he obviously eaten the couch and then kept puking it up around.

[00:26:34]

And I think it was one of those things where it's like, I want to prove to myself that I'm responsible so I get a dog. But it just really highlights how irresponsible I actually am. It's like being the one to take care of the electric bill when with your group of roommates and then you just never pay it. It's the same type of thing.

[00:26:53]

The lights kept turning off because, yeah, we got a shower outside. As an outsider, I just want to say, like, you might have not been a great dog owner, but this dog was just fucking bananas. It was crazy. It was all scatterbrained. It might have been blind. It was a little it would run into the walls all the time.

[00:27:15]

It wouldn't come out of the pool. Remember that. It would not come out of the pool and just drink fucking gallons of water. And then finally, when it came out, it is for like three minutes sitting there, you remember that there was a fucking party animal did.

[00:27:30]

Yeah.

[00:27:31]

When we played beer pong, you would just drink all the beer that fell off the. Allegedly.

[00:27:35]

Allegedly.

[00:27:36]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, right, right. Yeah. Grip's there's our IP now. Yeah. Rest in Peace remaster. Oh yeah. I heard about that.

[00:27:50]

You know what video I get sent every once in a while is who gets the dog?

[00:27:58]

Oh damn that dude, we won a dog, me, Kyle and our old roommate, Teddy. We want a dog on a TV show called Who Gets the Dog?

[00:28:11]

Where three groups of like family or friends, three different groups battle over like who the dog likes more and who they feel would be the best fit for this dog.

[00:28:21]

And then we ended up winning. And I like I got on all fours because I'm a fucking cheese dick ham and acted like a dog.

[00:28:29]

Like when I was like, yeah, it was really a testament to our acting, like being like we want to win so bad we'll put on whatever we'll say, whatever we have to pull the heart strings of America.

[00:28:41]

And you want the dog. Yeah. Yeah. On the dog. And then they we have this this dog, Rocky, who now lives with with Terry's family, I think.

[00:28:50]

Oh yeah. Yeah. Rocky and Gressler were the same one to me. Yeah. Together. Yeah. They look similar right. Yeah.

[00:28:58]

Rocky was a little we don't know if Rocky is still alive. I think Rocky might have just passed away. Oh good Ron.

[00:29:04]

God damn. He had been like fifteen plus years old when we filmed that reality show.

[00:29:09]

I remember that was my first like because we had to do reshoots, we had to do like we shot it once and then we had some reality for you.

[00:29:16]

Something happened.

[00:29:17]

I know something happened with the cameras and they're like, we got to come back and shoot again. And that's when we had time to really know what we had to do to win the dog. Right.

[00:29:27]

But it also was me being like, wait, this is a reality show. You can't what reshoots. It just felt so weird, man. Hollywood bro is freaking here, dude.

[00:29:47]

Guys, I, I didn't hit record. Are you kidding me? That would be so tight. Of course he didn't. I can't tell. He didn't. I can tell because it's not funny.

[00:30:00]

Oh, no, I did. I hit record. But I would be the one to not hit record for sure.

[00:30:08]

But let's just circle back for a second. For a second. You thought you did hit record, right?

[00:30:13]

Yeah, for a second. Yeah. I looked at it was like, is it.

[00:30:17]

It is. Again, I really thought you got me on that one.

[00:30:20]

He got himself. We got it done. Some rerecorded. This was not a prank. This was a fuck away. Let me get them.

[00:30:27]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I got you. I got you really good. I'm a really good actor. I've won a Teen Choice Award.

[00:30:33]

So he was Josh and. Yeah, you just got Josh. Your boy got Josh. Here's a quick question, guys. One sort of elective procedure.

[00:30:45]

Would you guys get like as far as like something that you feel you would get if no one ever found out and you could just do it and you could add something to your life. Take the earplugs, Cavs. You get a oh, like a plastic.

[00:31:01]

Like a plastic surgery. Is that what this is? Yeah, an elective surgery.

[00:31:05]

I was thinking when covid hit in there, like I know mine, they were like, you can still go in for elective surgeries. I was like, oh, no wonder people are spending this time to, like, go, you know what? I'm going to be home alone. I'm going to get that new nose that I've always wanted.

[00:31:21]

I'm going to yeah, I'm going I'm just plain covid be like. Yeah, like it just my whole face collapsed and then you're like covid did it. Yeah. It's cold.

[00:31:29]

Well it's it's a good time to do all this shit because you then you, you're not seeing people and you could just go like, sorry covid I maybe I have covid I better stay in my house for six weeks and and not come out.

[00:31:41]

And then when they come out they just got this super shiny, beautiful, beautiful Trimble's you big beautiful trim, beautiful frame.

[00:31:53]

What is it I'm asking you, Kyle, this is I'm this it's called volleyball baby. Hit the ball. Mine's going to be a hot button topic.

[00:32:00]

All right. Oh, OK. All right. Are you are you going through with the lightning?

[00:32:08]

OK, all right. All right. Blake, let's start with you. What would you get?

[00:32:11]

Oh, I really love myself. I have really no problem with any of my features. Beautiful. I I guess you had bigger dick, is that is that a real one, though? Can you get a bigger dick? Is that. Yeah, I think that's a real extension. Yeah, I think you can.

[00:32:32]

I don't know if that's. No, I think I think there's a way to just like, nip something so that when you're flaccid, it's bigger. OK, yeah.

[00:32:39]

That he's like he's like whatever it is, all of it. But I'll risk it all. Isn't that more important than you could just be like in a public wherever and you're just like slapping your thigh and then you're like, oh, my work here is done. I'm pretty sure that's just a snip.

[00:32:58]

I mean, I remember looking into it, but I think they can fill it like with right after they make it. Can't they make it thicker with fat?

[00:33:06]

There is penile enlargement surgery and it's fifteen thousand dollars with an up front. 1000 dollars that it.

[00:33:13]

That's a deal. Now that's seven, eight inches. We should make a bet. And whoever wins the bet, we all pitch in and get that person a bigger dick. Oh, that'll be fun.

[00:33:25]

I like that. But do we do a percentage wise or like you automatically have to add four inches.

[00:33:30]

Oh, I think it's you're going to work with whatever they say they could give. Is that what it is? I don't I don't think they can say. I don't think you could go. I want four inches. Right.

[00:33:40]

They kind of take pieces of skin from your body and add it all up into a pile, OK?

[00:33:48]

It says that it can increase length and girth measurement around the penis, which is girth. Sure.

[00:33:53]

Of about one and a half to two and a half inches while flaccid and erect.

[00:33:58]

That's a lot. An extra two and a half inches. I don't like a fourteen inch did. Oh okay.

[00:34:04]

All right. Hey dude, I've inches done. That is crazy. Adam, what about you. What's your surgery.

[00:34:12]

You know, I don't know. I think for sure quick. But also beyond that I feel like all of us want that.

[00:34:20]

I think you say it's Dick and then you get it's a twofer. It's a twofer. You get. Yeah, if you get the dick, you get the other one for free.

[00:34:27]

If you can get an extra two and a half inches, that's jam bone right there. I want it. This motherfucker had our call back.

[00:34:37]

I don't know. Probably I see I'm not losing my hair yet, but I know I've see my father and I see all the men in my family and they're all pretty fucking bald. Mother's dad was bald. He died when he was like forty and he still had hair, like the photos. He still had hair. But I'm like, is that just how he's combing it? I don't know. My mom said he had a full head, but there was not a lot of photos.

[00:34:58]

I just what's cool is that you're like, I'm worried about my hair falling out. But my mom's dad, he died at forty.

[00:35:04]

But I know more about the health implications. If it's an elective surgery, he he had a heart attack because he was like a he's like an alcoholic, you know? So I'm not stopping drinking, ma'am.

[00:35:17]

Own baby. Let the good times go. Wow.

[00:35:19]

But you're not worried about that. No way. I'm not worried about that now. I'm worried about my dick and my her probably my hair. That's my grandson. I like I did get complimented on my case the other day, so I don't have to worry about those. It's weird that some men are so worried about their calf muscles.

[00:35:38]

Yeah, I don't give a fuck. I think it's not. It's guys who have everything but the calf.

[00:35:43]

And they just it was a it was a very buff man who was like, hey bro, what do you do for Kev workouts.

[00:35:50]

And then, you know, I have scars all over my legs. So I was like explaining. I was like, oh, no. It kind of looks like. But I do have a big cast because I ride a bike so often. Yeah. And I was like, well, it's kind of scar tissue. It looks more rich than it actually is. And he goes, no, I was talking about your other leg that isn't scarred up.

[00:36:06]

He did not give a shit about my scar tissue is just talking about my calf muscles. So I felt pretty good. I felt pretty good job. So don't have to worry about that. But my hair maybe.

[00:36:17]

Did you guess what kinds of contacts we didn't swap any cons. No. Isn't one it was in a weed weed store.

[00:36:24]

I didn't, I didn't really get down. I didn't go full fully down the path. No. Yes.

[00:36:31]

I shoulda honkers. What's your surgery. Oh man. If I could change everything. Can you get a new body.

[00:36:39]

Liposuction. Liposuction is one liposuction. I don't know why you're suggesting I should do that. Why don't you do that? Some of the moles, bro, that's a health thing.

[00:36:49]

That's not really elective. Where do I have any moles? I don't know. But I think, you know, Blake, I think I guess my neck is kind of long. Is there a way to like I don't want to be a shorter person, but if I could just shorten my neck that all that's going to make you a shorter person, I hate to tell.

[00:37:07]

You mean, can they just bring the rest of my body? That'd be sick. A shoulder enlargement. Yeah, I don't know. I'm not I'm not too mad. I already did this already changed my teeth back in the day. OK, yeah, you know, yeah, I lasered my eyes and I did my teeth, so let's say in a hypothetical, you've had a few electives. All right. You have elected to have some.

[00:37:29]

What about a laser your hair off so you could swim faster?

[00:37:32]

You know what's funny? I think we talked about this before. I don't know if it was on the air. By the way, welcome to this is important. This is welcome.

[00:37:40]

And it is this is important. So important. Everything that we talk about.

[00:37:44]

I said that like I think I said, season after season three, I was going to get the hair around my asshole lasered off. I remember that. We just don't we don't need it. And like, I feel like you get like toilet paper and remnants there. And I'm like, get it out of there.

[00:38:00]

Yeah, but that is to that's to protect your asshole. Yeah.

[00:38:04]

If you're running in the woods away from like wolves, we're in 2020. Yeah.

[00:38:10]

But what if your plane crashes like in the book. Oh yeah. True that. Yeah. Yeah. You're wearing pants and underwear. Right. Yeah.

[00:38:17]

But let's say it's high those, it's, it started on fire and you come out and you're butt naked and now you need that little little trim of hair around your asshole to keep you warm or else you might die. Hey, you're not wrong. I'm willing to take that risk.

[00:38:32]

I get that. It's kind of like with a gun, you know, with butthole hair. It's you rather be caught with them without because when you do need butthole hair, it's super important.

[00:38:42]

I guess I'd rather be caught without a gun in this situation.

[00:38:46]

Right, brother? That's your choice. That's your choice. I'll take my weapon of choice is right here for the fist. Oh yes. He raised his fist. If someone pulls a gun on me, I will fist them. Hmm.

[00:38:58]

That makes sense. What made you not do it after season three of workaholics?

[00:39:03]

Yeah, I just didn't do it. I just was like like I just never, like, lined it up. I guess I wanted it. And then by the time I like I'll talk. No walk. That's true. And you guys all know that about me.

[00:39:19]

It is a funny it is a funny discussion to see.

[00:39:22]

I just didn't, I don't know, it was is essentially like, oh, when I get that like butthole laser money and then I just bet on other things like if I can, but we'll enhance mental enhancers.

[00:39:34]

It's like a Ferrari now, like a house of kids college and. Yeah, that kind of stuff at all.

[00:39:39]

Do it. You know what if we get I don't know, like, like some kind of podcast's statistic, if we get X I will get my butthole laser didn't report right back to all you guys and girls out there.

[00:39:52]

All right. Well we have to do a few things here. Can I tell mine?

[00:39:57]

Well, oh, because it's a hot button issue. I'm on it. Thank you. OK, go ahead, please. Look, I've thought about this a lot and also has to do with the dick.

[00:40:06]

I've thought about this a lot. Well, obviously it's going to be about your dick. Come on.

[00:40:10]

We're going to need some soft piano and it's not what you think, OK?

[00:40:14]

It's not you're going to you want it to be smaller. Hang on. Let me get a drumroll.

[00:40:22]

I want my foreskin back. OK, now let's talk about this. You can stretch your foreskin, you can stretch it.

[00:40:31]

I know, but it takes years. I've been thinking about doing this, so then maybe you really do. Wait, wait.

[00:40:37]

Well, now I hear a real truth in Kyle's voice right now, and it's in and I'm looking at him via Zoom, and it looks like this is an emotional issue for you.

[00:40:47]

Well, I mean, I had to go through this when I had a son and decide if I'm going to cut part of his wee off. And I decided not to.

[00:40:57]

And never too late doing so, I realized that I want mine back.

[00:41:02]

Like I didn't have that choice. None of us had that choice.

[00:41:06]

Are you jealous of your kid now, you weirdo, when you're changing his diaper? No, I'm happy that he doesn't have to have this realization one day that somebody else made the choice to cut part of his dick off.

[00:41:16]

Yeah, OK.

[00:41:17]

And I get that. But isn't it weird that you have to, like, peel your son's dick skin back and clean?

[00:41:24]

I don't have to do anything. You just let it go. But doesn't it get gross?

[00:41:28]

Oh, you got to you got to clean up your age. Not when he's this little you don't need to talking about. No, no.

[00:41:34]

I got no little dicks in my house. Well if you don't know. I do. Are they circumcised. Yeah, but they still got a little something and I got to like go hey guys. Like they're circumcised. You don't know what you're talking about, but they still got a little something. So I said you got to pull your speaking a false platform. You have no idea. Wow.

[00:41:53]

I'm just saying none of us had a choice, so it's easy to defend it. Sure. Sure.

[00:41:58]

No. And when I initially heard the argument, I believe we've had this argument several times.

[00:42:03]

And I was I thought it was a sanitary thing, but apparently that's a myth of sorts.

[00:42:09]

That's no, it isn't a myth. But that's the same thing I'm talking about. It's a thing of the past, like the butthole hair.

[00:42:13]

Well, is it a thing where. Yeah. Is it a court with and without. Is there a time when you're going to need that foreskin? No.

[00:42:21]

Well, all you guys are fucking talking about how you want bigger dicks. And when you cut your foreskin off, it does retract a little bit.

[00:42:29]

OK, well, I need much more than.

[00:42:31]

Odds are if you didn't cut your foreskin off, your dick would hang lower.

[00:42:36]

So but here's the deal, though. If you have a little dick and you never got the foreskin cut off, you have no excuse. Now, I know that, like, I can go home to my wife and go, look, do you know why it's so small? I got circumcised in it. Retracted.

[00:42:47]

Yeah.

[00:42:47]

And I'm good to go lay off my guys with a quick Google I found for skin problems, OK, for skin problems, dryness, swelling, infection, irritation. Just just like that. Just right away for skin problems.

[00:43:04]

One day it's a campaign man dropping back pain from Christianity dog. It's Christian campaign in Christianity.

[00:43:12]

Look at the rest of the world. Look at the global statistics. I thought it was Judaism.

[00:43:16]

Yeah, I thought that was which was adopted by Christianity as well. Oh, well, guess what?

[00:43:21]

They were right on the money as they usually are.

[00:43:24]

I told you, he's going to be a hot button baby. Dang, you weren't kidding, brother. Yeah. Let's get into this man. So what do you. Kolja Yeah.

[00:43:36]

You know what? I want my elected. I want to get those metal balls back under my nipples. There we go. Possible just to give me a little extra. Oh that'd be tight. But for real. If it if it's not having to do with the dick, I think I would do like a butt tuck or something because I'm so sick of my saggy but and I kind of want to just listen some of those police horse workouts.

[00:43:54]

Yeah. Do you do any squats or anything. Yeah. How about you just workout a little, do some squats and stuff. Is that how you get rid of it.

[00:44:01]

Yeah, that's, that's the start of it. Uh huh. Yeah I do. I think I'd take mine back. I think I would fall on liposuction down to like five percent body fat.

[00:44:12]

Just get rid of all of it just like that over day. Just be wrap over day.

[00:44:18]

This dude just said over day, well, I'm not doing it overnight. I know, but I love over day.

[00:44:25]

I'm not doing it overnight. I'm doing it over the daytime. You go to like a store there, like we give you a lot more suction over day twenty two for one.

[00:44:35]

I'm not doing it overnight though. I'm doing it. Yeah. Over the day. That's, that's cool. I'm not not going in at night time to get it done. And this is a daytime procedure. I'm going to start in the morning and they're going to work however many hours it takes and get done probably by lunchtime. I'll go home and have a shredded ass six pack and back.

[00:44:50]

I'm with you. But like, I feel like you got to have like thirty extra pounds to be doing lt. Sure. Do you have to qualify now. I'm not even saying like I'm saying like I wouldn't do it unless I got up to like 250 and couldn't shake it. OK, money's not an issue here. This is for podcast.

[00:45:08]

This is just we could do whatever we would like and it's just snappy, snappy and we can, we can be done and.

[00:45:14]

Yeah. So why would I do squats? I'm not going to do squats. I want my butt tuck. I like that. Well you already chose. That you're going to enforce? Well, yeah, but no, I was just saying you can only choose one. You're not doing multiple. Well, I was just going to the vanity. That one's like I feel I feel robbed of my foreskin. Right. We're back to souls now. Yeah.

[00:45:33]

See if you really believe in souls, you know what I'm talking about.

[00:45:37]

OK, I like that because when we talk about this in the Workaholics writers room, people were just like, I just want more feeling like that was like the huge thing. I guess there's more feeling when you have your foreskins. True. Sure.

[00:45:52]

Yeah, I'm good with the amount of feeling I had. Yeah. In fact, I'm trying to numb it down a little bit. Right.

[00:45:57]

I don't need extra feeling. You notoriously have earth shattering orgasms.

[00:46:03]

My orgasms were will shake the house. Yeah. The Gassmann.

[00:46:07]

I've definitely heard a couple when we were roommates and it was it sounded like felt. Hello.

[00:46:12]

Good. Oh oh.

[00:46:20]

I could barely make it out over you blasting Red Hot Chili Peppers every time I went to the Stadium Arcadium.

[00:46:27]

Yes, that was this go to. That was weird man. We would hear that all the time. Well, sorry you guys weren't fucking well, but it's cool.

[00:46:35]

No, we're choir. We're just. We're respectful. Yeah.

[00:46:38]

You guys were making love. Not me. I was blastin Stadium Arcadium and going to town you fuck.

[00:46:43]

I'm like Quietus.

[00:46:45]

It's the orgasms. He's got earthshattering orgasms to see. I'm not trying to have extra feeling. I'm trying to imagine that.

[00:46:52]

I will say that once I moved out and I had privacy, my orgasms have become a little bit more groundbreaking, not earth shattering.

[00:47:00]

Oh, and I think that it was the privacy. And it's a shame that I was worried about what you guys thought, about what my orgasms sounded like enough to keep it quiet. Adam, I got respect for you for just doing you, bro. Mm hmm.

[00:47:13]

Well, I you know, I out of a level and I also respect you, and that's why I I played the chili peppers so loudly. Yes. Right. It's the perfect music to play while having sex because it's a roller coaster ride.

[00:47:28]

There's something they won't stop addicted to that shindig. And then every once in a while they'll slow it down. And yeah.

[00:47:36]

So you can you can go longer than one song. Wow. Yeah.

[00:47:40]

We, we work on concept albums. Well yeah. That's what's up nowadays back then. No way man. No way.

[00:47:48]

I got to skip some trash that way. Oh yeah. Well there's, there's a few, there's a few special tracks. Definitely wait for the secret song.

[00:47:56]

Oh the crescendo. Do you guys have sex to music or not at all? No, I don't at all anymore. I feel like I used to all the time.

[00:48:14]

I go back and forth, we got the sonar. So it's like if you turn this Ohno's on, then it's on, then it's on ribeyes. It's not. But we're still going after it.

[00:48:24]

What's your number one go to? What do you is it. Obviously it's Chili Peppers as well or.

[00:48:29]

No, I don't really set it up. My wife likes it.

[00:48:33]

It's just to drown out your breathing. Know where exactly.

[00:48:38]

So she doesn't have to hear you.

[00:48:39]

Dude, we were in therapy and she's like, I really want to play music while we have sex. And I'm like, that's cool. I'm down with whatever you want. And she's like stadium marketing. And I'm like, that's what's up.

[00:48:49]

You're like, wait a second. Like a couple of days later I hear like Marvin Gaye. Let's get it on. Come on. I'm like, no way. Like, it's this literal.

[00:48:57]

Yeah, but I knew what was up. Dude, it does work. So you knew you knew what was coming around the corner.

[00:49:03]

The few times that I have done it, I have enjoyed it. And it was too very like typical love making music like Usher. And it just it really did hit the spot. New Usher. Yeah.

[00:49:13]

Oh, confession. Climax, some climax. OK, sure. I'm just saying. Yeah, for everyone listening at home, Usher is a musician from the long time.

[00:49:22]

Yes, you did. So you guys didn't make like cool love making mix tapes that you would hand out at school.

[00:49:30]

I didn't. Did you know, I, I didn't either. But it sounds like you did. What was all these mix tapes and how are you giving them to me now? I know you and your friends weren't fucking in high school.

[00:49:42]

Get it all. There was no Jill Scott in there. You're disqualified, bro.

[00:49:47]

It's true. And I know I know the whole crew. That wasn't a high school fucking crew, right?

[00:49:52]

No, not at all. No dis. They're so cool. We did go to strip clubs, though.

[00:49:56]

A lot of magic. The gathering. Yeah.

[00:50:00]

Gathering stuff.

[00:50:01]

I remember when I think I must have been living with Teddy or something, but I remember at Kamden when we lived together, he came over and like your friends came in town and I was like, oh shit, we're going to party and everything.

[00:50:15]

And then you guys played Magic, the gathering for four days straight and I don't know how to play.

[00:50:22]

And so it's just me kind of drinking, sitting around the inside the circle, being like, is it normal? Yeah.

[00:50:27]

Yeah, I did it when trying to go do anything right now or this mage's. I don't even know how to make fun of it because I truly don't know magic the gathering at all.

[00:50:36]

So you found yourself knee deep in a booster draft. You buy a box, you make a deck, you go at it for about four days with your tightest brows and you come out stronger for it.

[00:50:47]

It's a bro bond. But see, you never could get into it either. At home. I was up at film school working on that. I never could get into magic with these guys. I always I always said that I would build a magic deck and I have never lived up to that promise.

[00:51:02]

I wanted to get into it only because I, I, I loved all those guys and I'm like, I'm trying to hang out like they're in town. I'm trying to have fun with Blake's like childhood armis, who I got to know really well. And then they all come into town.

[00:51:15]

I'm like, oh, this will be fun. Will I play some foosball, will drink, will, you know, go to the pool or whatever.

[00:51:21]

And none of those things happened. It was just magic. The gathering for four days straight.

[00:51:25]

Right. That was the thing that I had trouble with, too, was just the obsessive nature of the game. And it's like we should go do something else during this time. Right.

[00:51:35]

I think that touches more on the some of the issues that our childhood friends have.

[00:51:40]

They do have problems just being around people, but talking to people could good people. Right? That's true. That's true. I mean, respect, respect to that. Respect. Straight up. Straight up. Let me know when you guys are done on magic. Yeah, we're done on magic. I think we're done on magic together.

[00:52:01]

And we'll be over here. It's a wrap on magic, the gathering. I got no reference for magic, the gathering.

[00:52:07]

I understand that that didn't happen at all in your high school, huh?

[00:52:11]

I'm sure it did. I just we just wasn't I didn't run with those wolves. You know, I neither did I.

[00:52:17]

But I would see it in some of my classes where, like, I remember because I was in I like did theater in high school. I really downplayed all of it. I would like act like I'm not in theater until suddenly the the play was happening and I'm in it. You were sitting there like, wait, yeah. I'm singing and dancing on stage now. My home is are like, wait. So you weren't helping your dad build a deck for two months.

[00:52:41]

You should just go see it. It'll be hilarious. Like I'm like singing and stupid. I'm like, yeah, it's so funny dude. I'm like singing and all this shit. I wear makeup. I know what it's crazy. It's so funny. I did my own makeup.

[00:52:54]

I did so stupid. I love it. It gives me confidence. It gives me a place in this world like so dumb. It's so stupid. I love it. Yeah.

[00:53:02]

I remember being like a true. Embarrassed, I remember making up a lie about how, like I'm helping my dad build a deck so every day, like right after school, my friends would be like, you know, smoking weed in someone's garage or drinking beers in someone's basement.

[00:53:16]

And every day they'd be like, are you going to come over to Ryan's house or whatever? And I'm like, Oh, no, my dad needs help with the deck again.

[00:53:22]

I got to go with this deck.

[00:53:24]

And then and then, you know, six weeks later we're doing the play and they're like, wait a second, where's this debt? Right. Where is your dad? Have a new deck.

[00:53:33]

Then we go over to my parent's house and the deck is just still old and shitty. And you're like, yeah, what are we talking and what's the show.

[00:53:39]

Yeah, what musical?

[00:53:40]

Abdnor it was I believe it was Harvey, about the talking. There's like an imaginary rabbit. Fucking rabbit.

[00:53:48]

Is that Ravi? I feel like that's an original by a drama teacher that. Oh no, no, no. It's a classic. I don't know, Harvey. There's an old movie of it too.

[00:53:58]

Really? Yeah. Yeah. Go down. I'm like a theater major. I feel like I know that stuff. I'm just blown away. Yeah.

[00:54:04]

I don't know about it either, don't you. Yeah. Were you like a shitty theater manager. It's like I mean O.S.S. brother. Yeah that's true.

[00:54:11]

You see Harvey Fifty starring James Stewart. OK, I do have Jimmy Stewart in my mind. But that she said Jay, I thought that was a wonderful life for whatever reason.

[00:54:23]

Is that what is that too. I think. Yeah. Actors. And he did a few movies. Yeah. Yeah. But is isn't Harvey like the same premise as as it was a movie he's talking to like a rabbit.

[00:54:35]

OK, it's ok. OK, ok. Let's check out. OK. OK. Are you grocery shopping right now. Are you like Hafid. Oh that's the same I give you guys are two percent. Sorry. Yeah. No it's I had James Stewart am I had to skim skim milk. OK, soy. Soy milk. Yes. How do you help other different movies. OK I'll get right on that. Checks out. Yeah. Different movies.

[00:55:05]

Well that's good to know.

[00:55:06]

You know I don't know a lot about that stuff is are you out of toilet paper. OK. OK. Yeah.

[00:55:14]

Yeah we'll get there dude. Podcast number eighty will all be just doing chores you know. Android pay. Do you have. Oh my God. You guys.

[00:55:25]

I golfed yesterday. Oh what. Oh I went and golfed with some homies I haven't seen for a long time. It's covid safe and they were like, we're going at Torrey Pines now for you people at home. We don't know at Torrey Pines is I didn't either. But it's like a famous golf course where they do the U.S. Open and it's like a public golf course. But it's also like on. Is it a fancy one? No, it's a public course, but it's.

[00:55:50]

Oh, but it's on the ocean. So it's like sick. And I don't know how to describe my golfing. It is the worst golfing you've ever seen in a way that, like, it starts off funny and you're like, well, you know, warm up and everyone's like laughing. And then they're just like, you know, it's a tough sport and everyone's just sad to start to feel bad for. I was so bad I was shooting like solid nines and tens per a whole.

[00:56:18]

Yikes.

[00:56:19]

I mean, yeah, golf just really fucking sucks. It's not I mean, as far as a sport goes, it's definitely more it's just fun to get out there with your friends and get drunk and drive golf carts. And then the hitting the golf balls is a thing you have to do secondary. I do like golf. You know how much people respect golfing.

[00:56:38]

You could go like anything else if you're like, hey, I'm going to go play video games for four hours, so don't talk to me.

[00:56:46]

And people are like, what an idiot. Yeah, they were like, this guy sucks. Yeah. No, we have. Yeah.

[00:56:52]

But if you're like, I'm actually going golfing in the afternoon so I'll be out of commission.

[00:56:55]

People are like, okay, golfing respectable eight hours. That's all you eight hours ago. Okay. Yeah.

[00:57:01]

It takes forever after nine holes. After nine holes I was like we're done, what are we doing here. But they were good. They were like hitting a couple of pars here and there.

[00:57:11]

Well that's the other thing. If you are really bad and it's taking you ten shots, you're just making the day I like I skipped three holes and they were like you, don't you?

[00:57:20]

Sure you like guys, let's get the fuck out of here.

[00:57:23]

This isn't fun. Oh, good. Because they were just waiting on your ass. No, no, no, no. They weren't even waiting on me because, like, we were walking, we weren't on carts. We were just like roughing it. So, like, I would just hook up to my ball, which would be halfway to where their ball is, hit it again with it before it fucking it slice it. I'm like a fucking you're terrible Daft Punk song.

[00:57:46]

Yeah.

[00:57:46]

Yeah. Well, you have to put your time in. I mean, when's the last time you swung a club. You got to go to the driving range brah. Years ago at about. Yeah. No way. There's no way you're going to jump right back into golf with all of the mechanics needed to be good. I know it does hurt.

[00:57:59]

I was like, God damn it, my dad's so good club champion two years in a row. So it's a. I remember a quote from your dad about golf. What was the quote? What was that? What was that? When we got wizards up on something we got. Oh, yeah. No, no, we sold the TV show and he goes, well, I got a hole in one.

[00:58:15]

And I'm like, OK, that's right. But now you realize how fucking hard that's enough.

[00:58:20]

Now I guess it's actually harder to get a hole in one.

[00:58:23]

US getting workaholics was was our hole in one little bit. And with that, does anyone have any take backs. Apologies. I know you do. Or what was the other one is apologize.

[00:58:34]

Take backs and compliments. Compliments. I'd like to compliment Kyle on keeping it real, even when he obviously sounds like a true psychopath. And I want to say sorry for not taking back that compliment.

[00:58:52]

You're apologizing to the world. Thank you. You know what? I'll take that. I'll take that very much. And I will also compliment Blake on his knowledge of magic. It's always been something of a wonder for me and his keeping it real when it comes to nerd culture, something that I believe that I am falsely attributed to. And you are my rock when it comes to nerd culture. And thank you so much. He's a real nerd.

[00:59:20]

I am. Thank you. I love you. I love you too.

[00:59:23]

Thank you so much. Thank you. I just want to compliment theirs is use of sound effects today.

[00:59:29]

Wow. We've added a whole new element to the show.

[00:59:32]

I was going to compliment you on that too. That was really that was a fun extra layer.

[00:59:37]

And I want to say thank you so much for bringing that literally to the table and spending those solid six dollars on that little machine worth every penny.

[00:59:46]

Absolutely. Even though some of them draw out a little too long. But, you know, you got to fill air space.

[00:59:52]

So thank you. So are you taken back the compliment or. No, no, I'm just chipping away at it. It's still there, but I have now chipped away at it.

[01:00:01]

Get rid of a thousand cuts. Yes.

[01:00:04]

Yes. Hey, guys, this was important. It was important. It always is. See you next week.