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Candles are motherfucking lit jagged, even though I got to get a long fucking week. A long day. You go, motherfucker. Welcome to Uncle Joey's joint. Always in the back end, Will is. Those having you bad motherfuckers, welcome to Uncle Joey's joint. It's Wednesday, the 25th of November, my 11th wedding anniversary. How's that for you cocksuckers? I mean, with the same woman for 20 years, 11 married to me, nine just to make sure she was the right one.
I make a mistake saying, you motherfucker, this day, the girl for 60 days, you fall in love and you wonder why you divorced a year later because you didn't get the bump and see what the true meaning of love was or whatever the fuck it is. I'm happy to be here a day before Thanksgiving. There's a lot of going on and we'll get to it. I still got to go get my fucking wife because I want to return in the mine.
So right after this, I got to run somewhere and get a card, maybe a bottle of Moey. You know that we can't even do anything tonight because I got to go Venis tonight. So that's our wedding anniversary. But that's all a part of growing up. And you got to do your job. You got you know, when you get into comedy, you look at all these fucking dates you got and whatnot. Like, I got to do this once I got the comedy that eliminated my social life.
Now it's time to go get my social life back. And that's what I'm trying to fucking do. I have to imagine for twenty nine years, your only social circle is really comedians. I mean, twenty three in that way. I was just surrounded by the comedians or actors. Are you talk about some of the same shit here women and talk about fucking movies and TV. So I think we just live, we just exist. I'm going to go mood.
Everything's great. I'm doing great. The only problem was they closed my daughter's school because of precautionary fucking measures, you know, saying million people flew last week. So everybody's fucking panic. Listen, there was nothing going on at the school. The school was doing great. There was no problems. There wasn't even a fucking hiccup. But you know what, man? I get it. I get it. They were going to lock it down no matter what the fuck we did.
And they're going to keep continuing to lock it down. So you know what they did lock down the store. They can lock it down. You fucked beauty parlor, but they can't lock down Uncle Joey. And I'm saying those charges got dismissed. Motherfuckers, it's over. So if we're not knocked down, lock the fuck down. I'll just make more content for you motherfuckers that will laugh at this shit again. Yeah, we'll be laughing at this regardless of what's going to happen.
I'm not concerned with the vaccines. I don't give a fuck. Every day's a new fucking story. What I'm concerned about more is your mental health. You know, you're not isolated, that you're not fucking sitting there on a computer all day, you know? You know, yesterday last night, I went to talk to a friend of mine. And he runs like a workout place. It's not workout, it's a different place, you know, it's just a little farther.
And he didn't do daytime stuff. He didn't have as much daytime stuff available. But it was weird, he said that his daytime classes disintegrated and fucking nothing. And I'm like, I really don't understand that, because if I had to work from home, like I have a friend, I wouldn't have done it with Friday night. She's my friend's wife choice, 9:00 to 5:00 on the fucking computer, 9:00 to 5:00. Let me tell you, some guys I like to write, I like to on the Internet, like you guys, you know how to do whatever I want, but it's what I want to fucking time that, you know, you've got to get up.
You got to get some sunlight. You got to go for a walk. I know if I had a day job and I had to work from nine to 12, I called my boss and said, look at eleven, forty five am logging off and I'll be back in one fifteen and I'll fucking stay there and a computer, whatever work you need done because at eleven forty five I get the fuck out of the house. You got to go, I go to a class kickboxing class jujitsu.
I wadis whatever the fuck like my buddy's going to be like you know, whatever the fuck you got, you go over there, you work out of stress, you exercise, you talk to people, you have some type of human fucking contact because if you're not going to have human contact, that's when you start going deeper into your mind. Let's listen. You can only watch so much fucking TV and you can only watch so much that place and you can only listen to somebody and watch so many fucking podcasts.
I'm with him. I you know, it's like I'm sitting here going, what the fuck is going on with my wife? You know, thank God I got the patriarch to answer your messages back and we go back and forth. That's an hour of my night. You know, I have an hour of my night of just planning what's going on the next couple of weeks. You know, we haven't been able to make plans because it's just fucking bad.
Democrats like I to call you up and go next Friday. I'll meet you at knownas for breakfast. You never know. We might not be open. I mean, they rolled back, I think today they rolled back. Anyway, my heart goes out to you guys during the holiday season. No outdoor dining, no nothing. I mean, when does this fucking end? But I'm not here to be political. I'm not here to fucking question whatever.
No, you know what? I do have some fucking questions because I'm not a fucking communist. If I wanted to be a communist, I would stay the fuck home. You know, no second in your house, no more to to listen. You do what you need to do to manage to tomorrow. That's it. What a mess. You pleasure. If you want to go to a house that has 90 people, God bless you. I salute.
Do whatever the fuck you need to do. If you want to go to a house with four people you don't and I don't want you to do is to stay alone. To stay alone and sit down and feel bad for yourself, there's nothing to feel bad about, you know, like we told my boss the market, you know, and if I had to talk about one of my. And again. It wasn't a bad Thanksgiving, there was to Thanksgiving on papers, and we were probably the one after my mother's death.
That was a tough Thanksgiving. My first Thanksgiving in prison. That's always a tough Thanksgiving, but I had a better time inside than I would have outside and I think it was nineteen ninety seven. I was living in Seattle and I was. Living in a trailer park inside like a trailer, whatever the fuck you call it, the girl I dated had a trailer and she went home for the holidays. So basically, I was alone all fucking week.
I'm not complaining. I'm not crying. I'm tired. I have plenty to do as a comic. But Thanksgiving aspect of the war, unlike the Boston market, I got myself the family meal for eight fuck. So look and you study the 12, you just pick up some of the stuffing. Ain't that good, but the taking of the Boston market and the mashed potatoes, I got a kitty that I probably know that, I presume mashed potatoes.
I got a friend that made worse mashed potatoes in fucking Boston market. Boston markets. Not bad. You know, Thanksgiving is about fucking being thankful for what you got. I don't want you to sit here today and tomorrow and think about all this year was a botched it was a bust. What are we going to do is behind this and said there's nothing you could do, nothing we could do to get it back. They're going to shut it down again.
Whatever the fuck they're going to do. You need to make yourself stronger. Stronger in a positive way, stronger, whatever they should it be stronger. I started reading again. Let's start with the wife. Right. I said to myself, listen, why am I going to fucking why am I beat myself up about writing when I haven't read a fucking book since March? I've not read a book since I've been on a fucking plane. So now.
I just got Rob Halford book from Jim before he finished reading it. I can't wait to read this book about dating people and busted old rings and get this fixed up guitar plays, shit like that. Know, this is great. I can't wait to read this book. You know me. I'm a part of the LGBTQ fucking straight community. I support you whatever you want. I get a good laugh out of you motherfuckers because you don't give a fuck.
Not like these uptight fucking ten thousand walking around. Gay people just don't give a fuck. And that's why I love you more. But anyway, I'm looking forward to reading this where I have a book, because before you can write, I'm not going to write the final. Can't read that shit. I read, I read little articles on fuckin, you know, Yahoo about fucking hell for a vaccine or something for which you said, no, I don't give a fuck.
I just read it just for the sense read that I'm probably going to sit down and fucking read and try to focus. You know, when I was a kid in the seventh grade, you know, we all fucking miss campus growing up. So a teacher gives you a book report. I turned to Mike and go, Mike, did you have a mishael last year? You give me the book report you did for mesial. I still got him.
I got an AA plus one so I would pick it type the same shit that you type and had the mishael or whatever fuckin name is. Whoa, that was great for the second, third, fourth, fifth and sixth grade, I had this teacher, Mr. Kingwell, Earl Kingwell at McKinley. God bless his soul. He's a good dude. He was a little loose with his hands. But trust me, he got beat up a couple of times himself.
So a couple of fathers came in to beat him. To this day, I remember Earl Kingwell and I do something with him. I do something with my daughter that he did with us. Because when you had a book report in those days, you had to read a book and then write what you took from it, you know, write about a specific character or whatever the fuck it was. This mother fought them, and when we walked into the seventh grade, first day of school, he goes, guess what?
You guys got homework? You got a book to read. Pick any book. And I don't do paper book reports. I do. Or book reports. You have no idea what life is like when you're a kid and you want to go out and play and you got to read a book. Thank God I was used to reading already. I always liked reading books. I didn't read books either. I read books in those days that a movie would like if a movie came out and they had a book, I would read the fucking book after I saw the movie or vice versa.
I was one of those little fucking retards. It's not my favorite book. The book that I read that some of my favorite. But what the fuck am I saying? The book I read that summer was Jonathan Livingston Single. It's one. I don't even know why I picked it paired with a book club and I just picked it. I don't know. Doug Livingston Seagull is I just took the fucking book and I read it like in June. I read it right after the fact and he gave me the book.
And then September one came and he gave me this book report. And I fucking felt like I didn't think about nothing because I forgot about what I had read since June. I should have picked it up and read it. The moral of the story is you got to get your comprehension going for me right now. Guys, there's days I don't know what the fuck you for breakfast, you know, but I am getting better. The alpha brain cycle is almost over.
I'm starting to get the nightmares again. And shit, you don't get nightmares on alpha brain towards the end of the cycle, you dream and become more vivid. So, like last night, I dreamt about a cat. I don't know why a black fucking beautiful cat that I kept walking past and I thought it was something else. And then I realized it was a cat. But then I woke up and I was worried about what happened. I thought that one of those dreams that you're in the middle of a good fucking dream, she's just about to put a coconut in the appeal of cops that you got me and you get up and why you're being like, I want this fucking that.
Hurry up. So I go back, get my dick something, my dream. But then you go back and you dream about Church of the blowjob dream right away. You know, we got to this point what I was trying to say to that towards the end of an alpha brain cycle, you get all your dreams become vivid and bullshit. Your dreams get vivid in the beginning, too. But it comes and goes like like I had a dream last week.
I climbed like a Mount Kalahari. Have I ever spoken to you people about climbing anything? I fucking I see ladders and I get fucking stressed. I like when I see stairs. When I come to house and going up stairs I'm like upstairs. My fucking knee is on fire. I'm not, I'm not thinking I fucking walk and nowhere. But I tell you what, I had a dream that I was hiking with like a dude I never knew before with backpacks.
I had open the fact that with the light look, I was like, what the fuck kind of dream is this? You would just wake up and go, You know what? I'm not going to deal with that dream. There's no deal with that dream. It had nothing to do with me. I wasn't even watching like any movies or anything. I can see if I was watching that movie. Stallone what? He's climbing mountains and his friend falls off or something like that.
But I wasn't even watching that fucking movie. I was watching some completely fucking different. So that's what I'm talking about. If you're an alpha brain cycle, you're going to get some fucking dreams and they ain't that bad. Just let them go in the morning. You don't want to know about nothing. You guys are looking at me. Go enjoy. What the fuck? Do you have a light blue shirt on again? Because these are the shared to for the mind of Joey Diaz, this will be a logo right here and a logo in the back for you motherfuckers.
I made it light blue because it screams happiness without being fucking, you know, not wanting a dick in your mouth. And I'm saying, look at the shirt. It yells happiness when you see this shit coming down on me like that motherfucker. This guy is on a positive note this morning. This is why I bought. So the company, he sent me a couple of samples. So I'm wearing this white shirt shirts that teachers just to see which shirt was the best for you.
This ain't one of the ones because I need something that doesn't shrink. A couple of nights ago I going to get on Patrón. I swear to God, maybe like fucking last Tuesday night or something. I opened up one of the messages, the guy's like, hey, do you know this? Sure, it's going to be 50 50 about a poly cotton blend and my family fucking joints you. It's 11 o'clock at night. And this is the question that you want to ask me at 11 o'clock at night.
I don't know if you're going to be where do I get them? And then I'll fucking talk about it on the podcast or on HLN or whatever. I've got a bunch of shirts. The company's a great shirt, but the company I'm doing business with is tremendous. They do business with all the rock bands. So you're going to get great fucking material. The only thing I'm doing differently is I'm not putting out black shirts. I don't like black shirts.
You told me you didn't want to pay the extra 50 cents would be a cheap sport. Just got a different colored shirt to show who the fuck you are, you know, saying I wanted to go to dark blue, but we ain't going to put a light blue screens at all, you know, saying I like blue towels and all its happy and goes your jeans and goes are black pants and white shoes. You always mix coordinating, you know, saying I want you to look good, I want you to feel good about the shirt.
I'm not going to give you some fucking cesspool. And a shirt subclan is not in my fucking world. And I just want to let you know I'm trying to get you guys to church. We put the order in last Friday, so we're trying to get the shirts for you guys. And even if you didn't go up that you'd never feel good. Joey's here. We're still going to buy shirts up for you for sale and whatnot. The thing I want to talk to you about, the thought is about this.
I've haven't had a good time lately. Part of my happiness is it was. I was talking to Greg Semmens dad, they were both on about the same thing. We were burnt down, a lot of these comics have been burned down. You know, if you're young and you're energetic and you you know, you just starting to get into it, I could see how you and I and listen, I sympathize with you. You know, I know being an open mind and having a job, try being an open mike and having a job five nights and you're dying to get on stage and you can't because every night you've got to work.
And, you know, it's not the same thing, but it's the same thing that holding us back from what we could do right now. I miss doing comedy. I missed the completion of a circle. You know, I got an email and the guys, you know what? It was great to see you, but I really missed the completion of the circle. I missed the completion of the show also. But you know what? We're going to have plenty of fucking circles as far as I'm concerned.
I'm not going anywhere unless God has a different fucking plan. You guys know, I take my little baby aspirins, you know, and drink water. You know, I fucking work out, you know, I try to walk. I finally went to a doctor or I want to strangle this fucking guy. I tried to go to town in Jersey. I thought it was kind of looking like big pussy. The guy came in looking like fucking I don't even know what he looked like.
He looked like a fucking American. The guy had a fucking stick up his ass. Everything I asked a fucking guy, he was negative as fuck because what he had to do, I just don't want a colonoscopy. I want a camera up my ass. I want to see what's happening. I don't want to have prostate cancer. What was your last fucking whatever was six years ago? This guy knows it. We'd like for you to do it every ten years and you don't want them.
I want really fucking hard and I got to put up with a ton of shit to get my fucking insurance. I want this fucking colonoscopy. And he looked at me and he knows what it's going to cost, who gives a fuck what it's going to cost me, even if it's going to save your fucking life? You got to do this colonoscopy. Listen, I don't want I don't I don't even like what? I don't like animals. Can you imagine spreading your fucking cheeks to sleep cannot be an issue.
That's what an enjoyable just the thought of fucking dog cocks and going through your intestines makes me fucking want to shoot myself. But you got to do it. Guys act and then say it like they were saying. Fifty five. You got to start doing forty five now and you got to start doing it every five years. Just it takes 40 even myself 40. This fucking guy's telling me they start to argue with me like listen guys, I don't know the names of shit that's not my my, my wife.
I told the guy this. I told my wife, I asked my wife, can you write out a list for me of the medications I'm on? You know, everything. Just the skin cream from my fucking rash fucking or whatever. So I don't know what the name of the fucking thing he gives me for anxiety is. I said to him that, you know, I had some left and everything was fine. And he's like, What do you want for anxiety?
Again, I don't know the names of these bills. I don't Klonopin, I don't fucking know. And the guy's like, well, I would never prescribe that. I would prescribe, you know, the other ones, the suicide ones to fuck and the ones that give you an urge to get like you ever see those commercials like that. You know, this pill is great. You'll learn to live a normal life, except you learn to commit suicide and gamble and do all this shit and smoke cigarettes.
What the fuck does what kind of medications is this going to be helping them to get some lurdes to go to the track? That's not for me. It's like fucking get a study to go to the track. So all these medications, I just I want to do that.
I'll I'll with my fucking refill and it gets me where I need to be. I've been on, as you can tell from my eyes and my face, I've been very clean for a while, a fucking while. Get no more edibles every day. I've been good man. This is I'm smoking weed like a motherfucker. I'm smoking weed like three hands. I found my house and then some, you know, I'm saying but when I was trying to get the people about is that it's really true.
For the first like the last twenty years I've been surrounded with fucking comics. It's not until I come home and I see people when I travel on the road, I see people well for a living or, you know, somebody who fucking is a librarian or you know, besides that, like conversations for the last twenty years have been I've been surrounded by comedians. So now the problem I had my anxiety. You ready for this? This is what you get from writing every day.
You learn about who the fuck you are. That's why I tell you, motherfucker, dremel in the morning and if you could journal at night, that night is also good because you compare the writing of what you felt like in the morning and what you felt like at night. But what this journal. Ouch. You fucking read. You just keep reading it, and I don't want you to fucking think you got to be having way, because if you think I'm fucking Hemingway, a misspelling words, I'm not even stopping for periods.
There ain't no fucking commas. This is just writing out what's on your mind, that garbage that you wake up with, what's in your mind? You know, like I asked Mike about his kids every time I see him. How's it going? Oh, well, the little one didn't on me last night. You know, that's what I want you to write down. All that stuff, write it down, write down all that shit in the morning and always ended well, it's got to be a good fuckin day no matter what.
And then when you pick it up at night, once you start reading through these things, the anxiety that I was having. Was me ri. Introducing myself to a regular funkin society. That was what my fear was, I finally tapped into it, my fear was that I was. Adjusting to a different vibe in society. I'm not on the phone with producers and fucking actors and desperate fucking people every day, I'm surrounded by nice regular. So my mind was learning to deal with this again, my mind, everything about me was learning to fuck and it's like learning how to walk again.
I'm just learning a new life, and guess what, I'm not the only one that's going through this. You guys aren't, too. You're learning to live in this new fucking covid life. For me, it was moving, but I'm also learning how to live in this fucking covid life. You know what? What are we able to do? What can we do? How that's going to change next year if you're a thing to perform? How are you going to perform?
All these things are changing. This is going into a new life. But for me, I was born into two new lives, I was adjusting as a human being. You guys are with the pandemic and I was also adjusting as Joey Diaz is a comic. You know, I don't have this shit around me anymore, which I didn't want anyone. I wasn't looking at that. I was looking to have a Frank, the neighbor, a Rudy, the neighbor of Rob and the neighbor, as these are the people around me that I talked to, they don't know what I do.
I don't know what they don't give a fuck about nothing. One guy said to me, the other thing is, hey, man, I thought I saw you on an episode of the cabin was that you and I got nine because it didn't look like it from the side. I got fucking I don't know how I saw the commercials. I don't know what the fuck you saw. You know, that's not what this is about. This is about just being human again, for a guy like me, I'm going to continue doing a podcast.
I don't give a fuck. You know what? We're going to keep this relationship going. And I have my ups and downs with the podcast. But you know what? It's the motherfuckers with us on the phone. But I'm not quitting. I'm going to keep coming to you, me and Mikey coming up with new ideas every week. This we change the picture, we change the lighting around. We're going to figure we just got to extend this.
I could do my zoom somewhere in here. You know, I don't really like this old, but from now till St. Geronimo's Day, I don't know if they're going to have fucking gas. In fact, I was going to have a special guest tonight, but guess what happened? They fucking shut the schools down, so his kid, he had to watch his kid play, so everything changes every day you adapt and every day you got a different story.
Sam, I want to talk to you about something that's been going on lately. I know I told you, you know, every Sunday Jimmy Florentin has a thing. He gets wings, he gets pizzas of his own pocket, he gets shrimp. You know, he set up a big screen TV downstairs. It's got air coming in and out of that. So our friends come over and his friends come over, mainly the kids he grew up with.
Kids that you can't bring around your family because they say that while the shit the fucking world, every fuckin nationality gets insulted, you know, shit, shit said that it's fantastic on Sundays. And I've been having a great time going and I know a lot of using. I go, fuck you, Joey fucker, five years to go. You will give a shit for watching football. It was a different world for me back then. I didn't have time to fucking watch football, I had done all I had to do was write comedy, go on the Road podcast and be prepared for you fucking guys who had the fucking luxury at the leisure to sit on a couch for four fucking hours and watch football all day.
I don't. But I do what I do have I do have a fucking time to go over there about three o'clock on a Saturday, Sunday. That's the talent of the game, the one o'clock game. And I watch the four o'clock game with them till about half time in the third quarter. And then I come home and eat dinner with my wife and my daughter and I watch my 60 Minutes. That's my fucking son, because there's no fucking brain here.
But I've been going over there lately and I'm in a place a little better now. Guys, listen, there's two ways to fucking gamble. And I was a kid. I gambled I. And I I placed numbers which were two, three, five dollars, but that's not going to set you back. That's not going to make your family nonee. That's not going to make you run from a bookie. In the early 80s and the mid eighty one eighty two was when I started placing bets because all my friends were doing it, I was interested and you can make money.
And if you didn't have the money, you got to go fuck himself. And hopefully you didn't break your fucking legs, you know? And so when I started gambling the first time, I was gambling because we all wanted to be Joey Galactus, who doesn't want to walk into a bar. And the way I had to fuck Knicks a hundred times, that's 600 to lose. Five hundred to win a time is five dollars. So if you win if I say five times, I'm better five times.
That's twenty five dollars to win dirty to lose a mother change. Now I don't know what's going on in the street. You know, lately I just been going through a draft game or whatever when I go to Jimmy Florentines House, but I found some about draft kings. You know, when I when I gambled early on, I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. I was gambling to make a living, you know, an eight year old.
Nineteen twenty. I'm fucking stupid. I'm thinking, yeah, I got this figured out. How can you know people not do this shit? I can make a ton of money. I don't make no money. Every other week I was fucking robbing something to pay a bookie or hiding out for a week because I couldn't buy a bookie. The September twenty fifth of eighty two was when I fucking hit. You know, I lost a big amount to a bookie, me and some friends of mine.
And I did rob a jewelry store and then do that. Another buddy of mine, my roommate at the time, got hooked on book on gambling in a way that you couldn't get fucking hooked on at that age. At nineteen twenty, this guy was putting in 20 grand, ten grand, five grand a game and this guy was making fucking ten bucks. And now it's a short order cook, you know, he ended up losing eighty grand. He lost his mind, he paid it all off.
But I learned a valuable lesson from then and since then. Since eighty three it was that that dolphin fucking Redskin championship. I always watch my gambling, I didn't really gamble because I saw how quick you could fall into a fucking hole, so I didn't gamble at all. I didn't have anything against it. You know, I grew up in a fucking bookie house numbers. I heard all about sports all my life. And I always continue liking sports.
I just didn't have the time. You know, it's when you were a burglar. It's tough to fucking be into sports when you're a criminal and a junkie. It's tough to fucking be into sports. I always liked him. I always respected them. Over the years, I got my life together. I started watching a little football, you know, towards the World Series. I watch baseball. You know, I like basketball. If I like a certain player, you know, my man, Sidney Moncrief, you know, I'm a fan.
I'm a fan of all this shit, but I never really gamble again. Then I went to a USC, I went to MacGregor Diaz, the first one I took, because just because I know how hard it is to work in jujitsu, I thought about it. You know, we work hard for our money guys. You know, I would love to be able to put ten thousand on a college game on a Saturday, but it's not what I really want to do.
But I do what I do want to do. I do want to watch that fucking game and. Have a dog in the fight, at least the little dog in the fight, right? So what I do is I don't bet I'm not gambling above my head or anything. I mean, last time I had one last Sunday, I lost twenty two dollars. It can deal. Some tank of gas. I'm saying it's like my family's not going to eat.
It's not like my fucking I got to come over with a story to my wife. I lost 22 bucks. I think the week before that I won thirty eight. So it wasn't like I'm just I'm just gambling to have fun, you know. So if you want to have a little fun, nobody's got to get, you know. I want to draft kings to have those booster bats and whatnot. I don't believe that shit and that kind of fun like like fucking Jimmy Florentin and the Jets getting like 20 last week.
But I think they still he's still fucking lost. I don't know. They do those teasers. That's a teaser. But they have all those things on that. But the bottom of this is I've been gambling again. That said, I've been having a good little time putting my bets during the Sunday mornings. I look at the sheet, I'm fucked on Saturday and I go back tomorrow. You got a few games tomorrow. I'll be going to different.
I'm going to. To see my brother who lost his wife first and worn down by him, not all the way to Delaware. We're going to meet at his mother's house. He's got his little sister's house. So we're just going to hook up and give him a hug. Talk to him for an hour, and then I'm going of my other brother's house. And about half hour from there in New Jersey, it's going to be like eight people, very small to household Thanksgiving.
I'm not breaking the fucking law for you people or Crimestoppers, you know. Oh, my God. Know, I'm just I'm just eight people and it's going to rain here tomorrow. And so hopefully this voice will be open and that maybe on the way home stop at the Florentines for a little fucking dessert, a little fucking double espresso. So when you go home, you take the shit of life, you know, saying all that dirt is now being backed up and all the other shit you're going to fucking eat.
And that's it. That's my day. I put a few bets tomorrow. Let me show you the weed I got for them. I know, but I'm Patra. I'm supposed to do like a review a week of some weed or that. But this week it's on me even for you guys. And I don't you can't see this, but you guys on YouTube are going to be able to see this. I told you motherfuckers I lost some weed that I could just I and I found the fucking weed.
I tell you that last week. But then the shipment came in. And when I you this shipment came in, the shipment came in. I'm coming here. I don't give a fuck if you quarantine me. I don't give a fuck if you closed the streets. I'm still good. I'm the show you just a bunch of guys fucking weed. Now I'm going to movie Young Frankenstein, but people maybe Young Frankenstein. That's who made this fucking movie.
This we make you look like Frankenstein. I've only smoked maybe once or twice since I've gotten it and I've gotten pretty fucking hot. I tested to my man my I gave him so much value, like, wow. So thank do. But after he died, I'm not going to be able to buy them for you. But I want you to look at this. But this don't look. Like the butterfly, I don't know what does. Look how beautiful that is.
And guess what, I missed the whole fucking thing on Thanksgiving. That's my goal. I'm going to smoke. I'm going to eat as much turkey as I can because it's zero point for Weight Watchers. And I might have a piece of pumpkin pie just because that's how I roll. But look at that. But that's just a preview of the show of my brother's house that I gave my piece. So he's all he's all jazzed up and ready to go.
I gave him a fucking couple of fucking pro tabs just to keep them. Just to keep them. What I'm saying around his family now, nobody knows. Let you walk on a couple of pro tabs. Everybody's fucking happy and that's it. And that's that. You know, I'm saying it's just fucking Thanksgiving. And listen. Yeah, it was a bad year. We lost some loved ones. You know, we all lost loved ones. We had to make personal adjustments.
We had to make personal sacrifices. But it's not about well, you don't have to share. It's not about that it's not about what you lost this year, about the job you lost or. It's about what we do have now, we get how we can get stronger to move on from here. That's all it's about this year, Thanksgiving. So tomorrow when you're sitting there and you're looking around and you have your doubts, eliminate your doubts. Just live for today from here on in for the next few months, I hope you guys are listening to me and paying attention that we'll live in for the day.
We're living for the day. We don't know what they're going to close down. We don't know what they're going to open up. We don't know if we're going to get hit with a second wave. We don't know how the flu is going to accept it. But I do know is that we're going to keep on pushing forward and want to keep doing what we're doing, even if it's little by little, you know. Every day, there is no reason why you should be stopped in your life right now.
Because there's some form of variation, we could be doing what we're doing. I was reading an article by somebody out there. Oh, oh, somebody wrote a great a regular stand up comic, wrote a great little thing on Facebook saying that, you know, he was struggling, he was having a hard time, he was suffering what was going on with all this. And then he realized that calmly, you know, thank God of the people say this way.
I look at it that calmly. It's just a form of sales. So he said he got himself a customer service job and his practice in this county and the customer service people, he's having a great time, but he's doing his own shows that he's writing about. He's doing writing is with people like he gets how and I don't do all shit, you know, little sack of shit. But I'm just telling you that there's people out there doing creative things and they're working with what they got.
Right now, listen, we wanted to have the bar ready for you. I wanted to have microphones and neon signs. That was a great little mindfuck I had myself. This is what we have. We have two bulbs. We have a couple iPhones. We have a board. We have speakers. Mike is here and I'm here and we're making it work. You know why? Because I'm getting through to you. That's it, I'm getting ready.
I'm still allowed to talk to you guys, you know me, I'll find a fucking way. If they take down YouTube, will Periscope then take down periscope? We'll get a telescope and look at each other. If they will figure it out, we'll figure out one way or another. How will you keep this going? I don't give a fuck. I'm not planning on stopping. We're planning on making this better and better every time we fucking come up.
You got a lot you got a lot going on in your life, you don't even fucking know it and you don't have time to realize it because you're focusing on what you don't have. You know, I woke up this morning. To a message from a friend at. Wow, it was it was very deep. I've spoken to him a couple of times, are great friends of him to send me this message. It was just Buckwild. And I'm going to call him later.
It's isolation issues, he's isolated, he's doing everything but I'm telling you not to do. He's looking at what he doesn't have. You know, he's got a job. This guy's got a job. He's just single. He works, he has money coming in. But just going home at night is really taking a toll on. You know, a couple of days ago, we were going back and forth on Facebook and he brought something up that happened Jesus Christ 42 years ago, and it was the most minor thing in the world.
And he still had a fucking beef with it. So when I see those type of messages, this is what makes me talk to you people like this, because I have to assume we all have a friend that's going through some mental health issues right now, and I'm not going to shut them or call them out or fucking embarrass them. What he needs is attention. He just needs me to give him attention. You know, he's a he's a grown man.
But right now, this pandemic is made as regressed. I mean, I have friends that the kids who are the students and all of a sudden this drug on school, you know, I thank God that thank God, thank God. And I don't I don't mean this in a braggadocio way. All about why. Thank God my wife spends time with mercy. Thank God that I said with mercy. And I make her read me those God awful books, The Fucking Diary of a Wimpy Kid.
She reads all of them. She goes to the library. I should put one away every two days or whatever. Then we go to the library every fucking three days. But thank God that I've had the patience to sit with her and read or make her read. You know, sometimes I, I go to the back and I have like singles and, you know, you live your life. And also one day you look at your wall and you have like two twenties, a ten and King singles and a five.
I give a lot of assignments. I go, you can count this right and stack it up right. I give you five dollars right off the fucking top. So I just want to keep thinking and get her involved, you know, but these people are not doing them. As people that are actually sitting down in front of a TV and then when they get bored, they let their mind go the other way and it taps into all the bad things that they've done to their life, the negative experiences.
And then it adds on. This is going to be good. This is what people are scared of. Did you guys watch 60 Minutes on Fox on Sunday? Seven thousand kids went missing from the school system in Tampa, Florida. People just stop checking and people are dropping out, kids are dropping out. You know, they had these social workers go looking for these fucking kids, just go down there. They went from seven thousand seven hundred, you know, traced these kids back, people who didn't even have money for computers, people whose parents had to move because of their financial situations.
Hey, I'm aware of what's going on out that. I'm not one of these fucking guys living in L.A. in a fucking mansion saying everything's all right. I know exactly what's going on out there. And that's why I do these things like, you know, with you, I have your back. I support you any way you can. And I know things are fucking rough. And that's why I come into your living room twice a week and try to be funny and try to talk to.
And in time these will get funny. And in time we will have fucking guest and in time. But for right now, this is all I can give you. I give you two hours of me every week and give it to you from straight from the heart and let you know what the fuck I'm thinking and how I'm doing it. If this is what you can do, this is what you can do. If you need more help or mental or you need more entertainment, more content, I have to pay.
It's three, five, ten dollars. I don't expect anything from you guys right now. Things are tough. You know, I go on my Twitter, you know, I fuck with you on Facebook, you know, you want to ask me something, ask me some. I don't give a fuck. I'm here with you guys. What my primary thing about this podcast was today was to let you know, two days a week going to be fine.
And B, it's going to be a great fucking Thanksgiving when you got fucking Turkey from Boston Market.
Boston Market. You know that fucking South American Turki's. I don't even know if they're really dakis or your mother's going to make a turkey or you're going to a friend's house. I want you to have the best day you could be. Forget about what's going on. Forget about pandemic's, forget about pandemonium. Forget about the news. Don't turn the news on. Forget about the culprit. Can't forget about the low death rates. Just enjoy yourself. Just be you tomorrow and Friday and Saturday.
I don't know if they're still doing black fucking Fridays. People lining up can be people lining up in stores, mostly online.
OK, so it's online. So Cyber Monday. So no sandwiches are going to show up to fucking tomorrow night at midnight I'll be outside lined up with fucking head gear on a riot patrol gear on the go save one hundred hours on the TV. We're not doing that this year correctly. I fucking hope not, though. Corporeal situations. You don't need to pitch a tent to get your favorite fucking sneakers and dollars off. Everything has to be online, I think.
And it's having a sale online. CVP lines got a Black Friday online. Everybody's got to do big online Friday. We got a football. We got college basketball. So that's not bad. At least you got some entertainment there. Friday, I'm probably going to go to the gym, I'm going to put my my my daughter's kickboxing school is having like a boot camp and the three. So I'm going to take over the house so she can get her fucking hands.
I'm going to sit with that for the first hour, and then we're just going to be business as usual. And we'll be right back here on Monday. The album of the week comes out on Bactrian on Thursday. Thursdays, you get another wrap up audio, a little 20 minute musical podcast on page. On Fridays. I'm with the weekends. We take the weekends off. You're on your own. You guys are big boys. You can pick yourself.
You don't need me fucking blowing smoke up your fucking ass and a fucking on a Saturday or Sunday morning. Give it a breather. Show everybody that you don't need that much fucking attention. And I don't. I do this based on the bullshit with you guys. Get me out of my fucking dilemmas and move forward. And if you look at me, you, little Joe is doing a lot better. Little by little. I'm going to find the perfect fucking mix and eventually to blow your doors off with this fucking podcast, me and Michael working on a couple underground little secret things.
And we're going to put it together for, you know, the same. But for right now, I just want to check in with you motherfuckers. Let you know I love you. I appreciate you. Thank you for putting up with the move. Thank you for still being here. If you're still here, if you're not a motherfucker. You'll be back. Why? Because I'm my sweet Big Willie. I'll put it back together. And this will be here at some point or another, like I said to you.
We covered Thanksgiving, we covered you out, we covered clothes in school, and again, I want to tell you, I'm excited about tonight. I don't know what's going to happen in December if I think I got December 3rd. Like, I don't know, I got three more dates and I'll call Venis in December, thirty eight people, I'm very happy to do it and go down there and give you two percent of what I got. Like I said to you, creativity's a little on the zero side.
But you don't me I don't fucking quit. I'm going to keep pushing until we get this right and hopefully by next year I'll be tip top. Ogbu, Uncle Joey ready to go. Come and action like a bad motherfucker, like the big black kahuna that I am, you bad motherfuckers. So thank you very, very much for being part of Uncle Joey. Join those today. Know nothing. I just wanted to come at you directly on Thanksgiving because I know I listen.
I belong on Thanksgiving. When I say been alone, I have no family on Thanksgiving, so I've experienced all these things, I've had no family for years on Christmas. Now I have a wife and I have a child. I have my family. We have an extended family. Too bad we all can't see each other. Mike was kind enough to invite me down to his house for Thanksgiving if I wasn't doing anything. We already had plans and family and whatnot.
We wanted to keep the movement low. And I suggest you do the same this year. You know, listen, man, we do this just to entertain each other and to let you know I got your back and I know you motherfuckers got my back. You know, say those motherfuckers have disappeared no more. Have you heard from them? Why? Because you motherfuckers went off on them and said, take that back, Jack. You guys got no fucking saying he's a kidnapper.
I'm a fucking kidnapper. I'll always be a fucking kidnap. Not anymore. I mind my business now. I just try to come across to you on the fucking screen. And trust me, I have no idea what I said or what the fuck I'm talking about. But in time, what the control back and we'll be rock and roll. I want to thank you guys. I want to thank our sponsors. But most importantly, I want to thank you guys for all the love that you give me and for still being here today, ten years fucking later, even though you heard happy stories a thousand times.
All right. I love you guys. Have a great week. And now full word from our sponsors. Stay black. See you Monday. All right, I want to thank you guys for listening today. I want to wish you a happy Thanksgiving. I want to thank you for working with me. And I want to thank you for being a part of my life, because without you motherfuckers, I would have nothing. Before I go, let's make you some little fucking money from the heart of Jersey.
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Listen, I want to thank CBT line. I want to thank Arnett Dotcom. I don't want to thank Draft Kings for making it possible for us to be here and helping you guys out. They support a fuck and they got it. They're going to give you something great, whether it's draft kings, whether it's really lying or whether it's going to get something good out of it. So thank you for supporting them and thank you for coming on here and watching and listening to an old man fucking ramble once or twice a week.
I love you motherfuckers with all my heart. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your families. Have a great week and we'll be back Monday. Tip top motherfucker Mahgoub. There you go.