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What's up, guys? We're back to Views, the podcast where Jason thinks that aliens are landing soon.

Is that true? I do. I've been reading up a lot about it. I think it just keeps talking about this and I'm being completely serious. I'm extending an open invite to any alien that wants to be on this podcast. I'll even go as far as letting you probe Jason. So reach out to him on Instagram. All right.

Let's let's roll up and let's roll the music.

You know, the other day, you won't believe this fucking shit, the other day, the other day I was laying in bed, it was like 10:00 in the morning.

You know, when I do my line, first of all, I'm going to believe what you say because you don't do much. OK, but go ahead.

I'm laying in bed. Yeah. And and I was there. She's, like, running through what we have to do. And we order Dorda like an hour ago for, like breakfast food or whatever, and they leave it by the door and then like maybe five minutes the food wasn't picked up by us. And five minutes later I'm laying in my bed. I was right by me. A guy walks into my room and goes, Here's your food and goes, Hi, David.

You write to me while I'm laying in bed when I'm laying in bed. And I was like, What are you doing?

I dropped my glasses on so I can't look. And I'm at all my contacts in the morning. I just woke up and and I was like, you need to leave right now. You know, if he wasn't our daughter, Dasher, he was just some kid who picked up the food from our doorstep and came into my room to deliver it to me.

I had seen that the kid came to the door like half an hour before and a knock. And I was like, So I have to ask you to leave this private property available. And he's like, OK, so as soon as he walked into David's room, I recognized him. Right. And I said, What are you doing? And then we walked him out. It was insane. Yeah.

And then and then we I told him he has to leave. We called the maneuver and the uber Uber. And then and then he came back that night and with his like hands in his sweatshirt. And I was like, you got to let me put your hands where I could see him. I kept screaming at him. He wasn't so like like I was like, I'm calling the police were calling police. Do you think I was it? I thought, yeah, he's going to shoot me.

That honestly, I was assuming that I would have thought the same thing because I was like, I was there with you. I was about to get shot. There's nothing we could talk about now. But this is it. Yeah. And and yeah, we call the police and they they they took them away.

But like, it's fucking so scary. It's so scary. It's so terrifying. If just guy shot David.

I don't know what I do know I'd have I wouldn't have a podcast.

I wouldn't have if that's what you were you wouldn't have. Welcome back to the news with Jason Ashton. Mike Scheffer. Right. Might be able to come out of the great to do that. Mike would be the one to shoot me in the head when we were outside with the kid.

Yeah, I thought about if I was going to step in front of you, if he was like in my head. You've just been conditioned to do it in my head.

I was like running through the scenario and I was like, what if this guy pulls out a gun and tries to shoot him? I have to like them in front of.

No, you don't. Oh, that's a little too much, because that is actually champagne's for the cause. It's part of the job, right?

No, I mean, no for the fact that I would say I love you and you're my boss, but you're a friend.

It was also just kind of like in my head, I was running through like David's like an important person, like I know we're being laughy and giddy, but like, it's well, that's how we deal with it.

But it was a scary situation. That's awful about you have security.

Well, we're leaving the house, OK? We're moving. It's just taking us a while. That doesn't matter. At the new house, you need security.

We have security now. You do? Yeah, but we have. We have. We're moving.

OK, surprise. We have to leave. The police actually told me to leave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They said you have to move.

And I was like, OK, I'm out.

OK, so then he thought here on the podcast and so it's Jason's belly. It's fucking looking right at me. I'm sorry about that.

OK, so I talked about this on my last podcast. Snapchat has been doing this thing where for like the last month, month and a half, maybe like last month, they've been giving away.

They split it up, but they give away a million dollars a day to the most like performing videos on their spotlit. They're competing with Tic-Tac and it's called Spotlight. And when you post videos on there, it's like the same thing as Tic-Tac. Like they're just like the like all come into feed and it's like a bunch of different random videos. And they're splitting up money to like the top creators who get the most views or whatever however it works.

And I was a fucking I was so skeptical of it.

I was like, oh yeah. So and I was really skeptical of because I'm like, this is fucking bullshit like that. I can't imagine like why does nobody fucking know about this? Like, I was like I was angry when I heard it from Snapchat. I was like, this is fucking bullshit and no one knows about this. So like just go ahead, try and post. So I started posting. No, I didn't make a lot of money.

No, no, no, no, no, no. You don't win a million dollars. You when you win the money, you win the money.

Tell time he won a million dollars. No, just look at you when you win, it's split up.

Right. So, like, it'll be split like a bunch of creators that have like the top performing ones that day. So I posted like a couple and and then I got notification on Snapchat that I won like one hundred and three thousand dollars. What. Yeah. One hundred and three thousand dollars from Snapchat. Yeah. From Snapchat. And and this is for like posting like for like a week.

Is this, is this supposed to be public. Yeah. Yeah. Oh this sounds like Zane's covering his mike. Sounds like a lot of you talking about talking to a bunch of all your video. I think it was like three or four of my videos and combined, they all added up a lot. So so this is camp. So I brought Cam here. I Cam and Cam is a tick talker.

You have a seven point one million sound point. And how much on Instagram?

Only like one hundred and thirty K, 130 K, so a little bit smaller on Instagram.

And you've been using this Snapchat feature. Yeah. For how long. Since the start. They came out with it like the end of November. OK, and how much have you made since the end of November. Do you want me to talk about my individual weeks or do you want to get it together.

Oh my God. You know what he said?

So for the first four weeks right now, all I know is I'm at two point seven million.

Two point. So we're just posting on Snapchat. Yeah. Two point seven fucking.

Where the where was this news when, like, fuckin Instagram stories came out and they're like trying to bro. Is it that fucking insane? It makes no sense. How long has this been?

What kind of content do you like it. Only fair. However, how old are you? I'm 19, 19 years old.

I should be 19 and posting on Snapchat. Yeah, OK. That now and then. What is it. How many do you upload a day.

One hundred ish. So he uploads one hundred. Yeah he he pulls one hundred a day and there's like there's like you upload one and then you have to wait five minutes to upload the next. So do you have somebody doing this for you know.

So what I do is just throughout the day I'm just constantly doing it and then at night time all like put on like a podcast or something.

So right now I'm missing out. Right now.

You've maybe lost one hundred thousand dollars and possibly. Wow. Well, thanks for being on the show.

I can break down how they like to it kind of I think it's public information, but there's like 100 hundred videos every day. So like seven videos in the week, seven million dollars in a week. Basically, it's how the top videos rank.

So it's like the highest view video that day is the number one spot and goes all the way down to like a hundred ish. And so it's like if you have a video with like a million views, 800000 views, that's a really high spot.

So that could be like one hundred thousand of you video.

I don't know what the number is. This makes no sense. It makes no sense. Is there like an explore? How are these videos getting seen?

It's on yeah. Spotlight is its own little explore inside inside Snapchat.

So if you have like based on an algorithm like Tic-Tac is where it like it could blow up. Yeah. Yeah.

So like I have a ton of videos with like fifty views, one hundred views like something like that's what majority of my videos get. But then like you just don't know and then some of them just go crazy.

I don't know, like fifty views.

You make it a damn good. No, no, no, no.

Because there's no like anyone could do it. You don't have any followers to do it. So like I have a ton with like fifty views but I also have a ton with like 500000 views. So it's like so random. And you just I just post a lot and hope I get good views.

You know, it's like the tick tock algorithm is crazy. Like you post a bunch and then one will like a make it. That's fucking nuts. I get paid Minoff.

So for my third week that I was doing it I made one point five million and just the third week. Yeah. So I did one point five million in one week and I had like seventy something videos that ranked in that top 100 throughout all the oh I'm going to be shaking my fucking ass for the next three weeks.

That's all I'm saying bro. It's fucking nuts. Yeah. It sounds like, it sounds like some like Wolf of Wall Street like penny stocks. Shit like it sounds like some shit that looks like it's completely illegal. It sounds illegal. Yeah. It's still legal.

It sounds like Snapchat was desperate. It was like we got to figure this shit out and give them money a million a day. You're crazy, John. We're doing anything.

I'm just taking like David's methods of like how he makes me.

I told him I was on the phone with him. I was like, no one knows about this.

I asked everyone else, like, oh, my like Tic-Tac friends or whatever. No one else knew about it. I was the only one that saw this article.

So me and my roommate were the only two people post. Is your roommate making money? Yeah, my roommate made he's eighty three point four million dollars.

He's just under filmis can't mostly just under a million. Yeah. Like, oh, wait, wait, wait, wait a second. This is not. Wait a second. I think Snapchat right now.

Why are you telling people about this. Because if you tell more people about this, isn't the fucking amount going to the mike, you'll get Hillview videos no matter who's on there.

I feel like just because and you'll rank up there. So it doesn't really matter how many people are posting as long as you rank higher.

Jack called me, my manager called me about you. And his voice is almost shaking because, you know, and he knows a lot of money. He could be sitting down by Pulitzer.

So was this 19 year old from Northbrook, from locally, from where I'm from. And he's like, you just made two point seven million dollars posting Snapchat and I fucking L.A. I'm in the room.

I was like Al Taylor here.

I was like, no, fucking Jason is dead.

I was like, oh, fuck about say, I have I have nothing else to say. How much were you making a year before this?

I mean, I was in high school, but like I. Was the door to Australia, were you making money on Ticktock? Yeah, yeah, I was making. So like in twenty twenty I was making money on Tic-Tac through like the year that was that's it.

Like so in 2020.

That's like real money. It's been what is it, January 8th. You've probably made more money in these last eight days of January than you have the entire year last year, right. Oh yeah. Yeah.

I mean one point five million that he made on December 15. Yeah. December 31st payday.

Yeah. And do you want to fund a movie? Because we have a script, we need to borrow some money.

OK, so and I called Snapchat and because I called them today before a came out like when is this ending. And he's like, to be honest, not any time soon. Thanks for coming on bro. Yeah, of course. Thank you, sir. Yeah.

You make a tech talk about your success on Snapchat. No, I've kept it quiet so far.

I mean, I have some stuff coming up that's not going to keep it quiet, but that's like one hundred and thirty thousand dollars a day.

Yeah, well, the week I made one point five million, it was like to twenty a day or something crazy like that. Holy shit. That's awesome bro.

I've been doing the social media thing for a while. I've never ever, ever, ever seen anything like that ever.

Wow. Jack reached out to manage. You know, that's where I do this because.

Because from Jim. From Snapchat. Yeah. I think I don't know who connected you with Jack. Jim. Yeah. Yeah, Jim. Jim was like, hey, if you're not managed. I know Guy and Jack's managing fucking cab now, what the fuck?

Jack just steps into shit all the time, like the luckiest shit. Don't give that guy a fucking dollar.

We're going to do a contract that's like seventy, thirty seven days turned into a job. I loved it. I mean eight hundred thousand in one day. That's sick. What. Congrats on your fucking recent success. And everyone go use Snapchat. It's finally a new year.

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Nasch Zipcar, the smartest way to hire, I guess some topics.

I just figured something out. What's the topic? Pepperoni. Well, one time you told me I should list all the movies that I auditioned for and didn't get. Oh yeah.

Jay Joe, let me start this bit up. You should list all the movies. You should list all the movies that you want to do. It is better. The way I do it is really it really gets the people going to jail. Now, I'm interested list all the movies that you get into it before the way you just said.

Oh, I was talking to Jason the other day and he was like, what were we watching? We were watching like Daddy daycare. Oh yeah. We watched Daddy daycare. I was watching at daycare and I'm like, I saw it. I was what I was sure it's still pretty good. Like it's still holding up, but still a great movie. And Jay's like, I auditioned for it once.

I say it like that. Yeah. Every time you bring up a movie, you audition for you. You say it as if it's a failure because it is.

And it's really funny. It's so hard to audition.

So he auditioned for the third lead in that. There's Eddie Murphy, Jeff Garland and Steve's on and Steve's on. Steve's on in.

The movie is like this guy who loves like Star Trek. And he's one of the he's one of the three babysitters.

And for that I reference disenroll. Yeah. And I remember calling in being like, oh my God, I could do a movie with Jeff Garland. I was like more excited by Eddie Murphy.

I know Eddie Murphy too. Was he not big at the time? No. Eddie Murphy. Huge. Jeff Garland was just your guy. Jeff Garland. I just love that you get a callback. I don't remember and is not. Is there a way you could find these tapes where you auditioned for them? No, I'm sure they're they're race sure that deleted yours, set yours on fire.

I'm sure I should we put this one aside. Oh, we don't need that one. But that was the only one to know for sure. Get rid of.

OK, here's the thing. I've auditioned for things. Yeah. And maybe it's different because, like, I'm an influencer, so they're like purposefully trying to be nice to me. Yes, but are they fucking with me when they like they like to listen to me like when they like email my agents and they go like we actually really loved him. But this just isn't the right. Like they don't say it like that, but they'll even sound more like they really like me.

And I'm just like they must fucking milk everybody like this. So they just keep coming back.

I mean, no, that's that's just call feedback. I mean, even like even when you're a nobody, you get feedback. Yeah.

But they'll tell you we like I've only auditioned like three or four times and every time it's been positive, well they're good.

I mean, you know, I don't think you're shit actor at all actually. You know, I got one role which one I got when I first moved out here, I got a Samsung. Commercial, you bet. Yeah, I booked a national commercial for Samsung, it never ended up airing, but the commercial was just I mean, did you work on it one day?

One day? You know, on my role lines, you know, my role was I was a silhouette.

So it was just my shadow in the commercial. But they liked me so much. I don't know. I just liked your shot. I had to read lines. And then when I got to the actual thing, the shoot, it was just my silhouette. And I was like on a date on a rooftop in downtown.

And I was like a 40 person crew shooting this shooting this one scene where I'm on a date downtown with your voice.

No, I'm not talking. It's literally my fucking body. So it could have been anybody. Yeah. And and I was mind blown by this time because I got paid like a thousand bucks for just the shoot. And then you get residuals for national commercials, which sometimes can be like 30, 40, 50 grand for the year if it plays a lot.

Yes, but it never ended up airing. I guess my salary wasn't good, but it was funny because I came to the callback and I had to, like, screen test like another girl and it was literally just our shadows.

And I like this is it. What year was this?

When I moved out here, I was eighteen. I don't know.

Do you remember the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? No way. You auditioned for that. Just for that. Yeah. Who are you? Elijah Wood. Got it. Oh. Which at the time, like when you found out, you're like, oh right.

Oh right. There's actors out here. Yeah.

The guy that was in the biggest movie of the year, Lord of the Rings. Yeah. Time was he Lord of the Rings right before that. Yeah. So it was basically like. Oh right. Of course. What else did you audition for.

Any movie in like the 2004, 2005, 2006 hit list. I mean I'd have to go back and look anchorman.

I did not get to read Franker. Did you read for office for the office. I did not. Oh I read for Ashton Kutcher part in fucking the big sitcom. But was it that 70s Show. That 70s Show. Yeah. I read for that. What.

Yeah I remember and I remember we went for Ashton Kutcher supporting that 70s show. Yeah. I remember when it came in I was living in New York and my manager called me in the office and he was like, he's like, hey, this is huge. He's like, I think you can get this. And I was like, OK, well what is it? What is it? What is it? And he's like, he's got to go in there and play like the dumb guy.

He's like in the 70s, you know. How old were you at the time for this audition?

I was probably like twenty five. Too old, huh? Yeah, I Kutcher he's younger than me. Those kids that got it were like 1890. Yeah. Yeah. And Mila Kunis lied about her age.

She said she was like seventeen and she was actually fourteen. Yeah. She got the role. Yeah.

Oh really. And she had her first kiss on screen with Ashton who now she's married to. You could have been married before.

Oh my God. You could have duct tape Ashton Kutcher to a wall. I know. And I have Ashton Kutcher.

Now imagine that you could go back in time, steal Ashton Kutcher his life and he's stuck with me. I remember that. I was crazy. You know what's crazy is like now he's like one of the most, like, rich actors, like in the entire world.

But, yeah, he's like hack a big, huge investor. Damn, that's crazy. That could ruin your life. I love this, Jay.

Keep listed above all your failures then. That sucks. I mean, it's. Yeah, I mean it was you make you stronger. You know what though? All my failures, it broke me for four years. Yeah. I mean all your failures.

I mean I would say that to anybody listening like it makes you so strong. Yeah. Yeah. To take that much like beat down rejection. I was in a movie with Brendan Fraser and Elizabeth Hurley and I work like three days on it, whatever. It was fine. And then my whole family, my entire family went in Boston to to see it. And they came out and they were like, you weren't in, you were cut out.

Like, what happened? My dad and his girlfriend went, it was so embarrassing. Oh, my God. They all came to the premiere. No one to go to the lawyer.

They just went in Boston to go see it. And I was like. I was like, OK, well, I didn't know if I was going to make the movie like they did, but they didn't know that they just assume, like he worked three days on it, he'll be in it. Oh, but completely cut.

But no one told you that that you weren't going to be in it before. No. You know, it was cut out. No, you know, isn't that funny when he called you?

Is he like you weren't in the Jay hilarious. Yeah. Yeah, he's probably I watched the whole thing. I knew you were going to be in it. I kept thinking you'd come, but you never did.

Damn, that sucks. I mean, it's not that bad that you guys don't understand all that is being an actor now. I mean, that is one hundred percent. It's fucking crazy. It's brutal.

Yeah. I don't understand it all, but you just get used to it. You're like, oh, it's just like stand up to you. Like, like when you do stand up you're like you eat shit for like ten years. But then like one comic will be like, hey man, I looked at one joke and that only keep you going for like a couple of years.

I just can't get my head around that, like I feel so lucky and yeah.

So lucky to be able to fucking do this and not have to go to auditions and like because a lot of actors are like so talented, like you think the world revolves around you.

I do have a slight theory that, like, if you add anything that's not directly in front of me doesn't exist.

So like when I don't see math teacher used to tell me that all the time.

Like, if, like, I haven't seen you in however long two weeks. You didn't exist until I saw you. Yeah. Yeah.

And like you'll exist on the screen if I see you like on my phone and like a story or something you see on my own, you don't actually exist outside of my own mind like nothing exists outside of my own mind.

Yeah. Jay, what do you think about that? You think that sounds crazy? What that might Meistersinger in the universe?

I mean, it does sound insane when you look at it that way. Like, how do I know that you guys exist when I potoroo.

And it's and it's like and it's like we can fucking sit here and be like, Mike, you're crazy. But like, that's just me telling myself that I'm crazy.

You know, that's when people say that I get really scared. Why?

Because I feel like maybe I've been dealing with, like, a huge narcissist this entire time and I didn't know.

But that's not narcissistic. That's just like it's not. Oh, no, I don't. I think Mike I think Mike thinking he's the center of the universe to me is just like, well, yeah. I mean, it's not like there's an actual explanation for what the universe is, but also all be fucking made up.

If I treat other people badly because I'm the center of the universe, then that means I'm also treating myself badly. So it's better to treat the other people, quote unquote, good, because they are they're all part of me. So I should still be a good person. I've worked it all out.

Wonder why so confident Mike's made his own laws and their work and.

No, but I mean, I understand the concept of like my math teacher used to say all the time, they're like he's like there's a hallway behind me. But really is there if I'm not looking at it, is there anything behind me? And I was like, I have no fucking idea.

Well, they this is like an actual science, quantum physics, where they will do experiments and like super, super, super tiny particles that are in two places until they are observed. They're in two different places at the same time. And then the second they look at it, it collapses into one of those two places, meaning everything doesn't actually exist until you look at it. And that is like exactly what this theory is.

I don't believe when I leave here, you guys all shut down like robots. OK, David, David just goes by. Jay, how do you know that he's actually doing stuff when you're not seeing him?

Yeah, like, how do you you don't have proof of any of this. How do you know that your kids are stories. But I do know that your kids are at your house.

The story Instagram is let's prove in reality for you. But like, how do you know? Like, how do you know that there is a past?

I just know, man, that's my reality. I'm firmly gripped in reality. I've been around a long time. I understand.

Have you ever done psychedelics much? You ever done psychedelics. Yeah.

Yeah. He says he didn't want that to change his life forever or change your personality. What did you do? Did acid and it change your personality forever. Yeah. What does that mean.

It just made me it user made me when you do it, your six guys. I'm the world's worst. They're just kidding. I'm just kidding. No, seriously, go ahead. Go back to call you losers. Well, Lollipop. Oh, you're sorry buddy. When did you do acid. No one.

Did you do it? Actually, when I was twenty. And then my mike I noticed maybe a couple of weeks later, my personality completely changed.

And that was the first time you did acid? Oh, yeah. We talked about this. When you say likes and dislikes, you didn't care about sports at all.

You're you're you're just different. Like, went out to my engagement. Why don't you ask the kids you fall off the floor page. Oh, OK. OK, so what happened with the acid.

I just was I was really into sports, really into it. Like the way, the way like sports guys are into sports. They like to watch the game and.

Well do you the three hundred better, you know, all the stats on who you like and if I, I would like yell at the screen like I know like one of those guys you know why I then and and I did acid and then I picked up the sports page one day like because it's my habit to read the sports page every morning.

And I was like drinking my coffee and I was like looking at it. And I was like, I don't care about. Fucking any of this, bro, you know what's crazy, that's not just your sports, that's like your entire persona. What, like you don't care about any of stuff, things like that? Yeah. Like any statistics, any awards, any like you don't care about any of that shit. No. Like you don't care about.

Yeah. That's so that's your entire personality.

I'm not I don't know passionate.

Fun like, like you. You know, you don't care about sports either. Yes.

But it wasn't after a drug fuelled weekend in a cabin in Boston. But but you don't care about like I don't know how to explain it.

Like things that people get excited about. Like you'll be like, yeah, and who cares and who cares and and who like normal. You'd be like and who cares if there's if there's an alien landing tomorrow. I'm dead anyway. Who cares.

Well that's just because I'm fifty. You think it was for the better. It's like a no, I don't think so. I probably would've been happier.

I feel like it's made you more pessimistic. Yeah, probably more pessimistic.

I don't know if that's the acid that's just like beating you for forty five years. Yeah. I mean, I can't say that for sure.

I heard one person say I went on a shroom trip and then I never came back. Yeah. And that to me is like and that's deep. Yeah.

Thank you. Sure. Restroom's. Yeah. I have a same friend who happened with acid. He took acid like two years ago and like he was like in our friend group and then he just like completely cut all of us off and he like completely changed. Like his whole personality changed to like everyone was like, yeah, I don't know what happened to him. He's really weird. You took acid and then like he never came back, did acid.

I had a friend took acid.

He's a shark now, now in the ocean and he hunts like little fish.

Dave, open your mouth. So what's in there? It's me one time.

Why do I see all these TEQ talks about micro dosing. What does that mean? It's like people take you take mushrooms.

Sorry, I know what that means. But why are you seeing Tic Tacs? Why are you a mushroom Tic-Tac? I don't know. You ever thought about taking acid again and maybe it'll make you maybe see you back maybe to the Celtics again.

Was that you take acid? I'm like, do you wake up, wake up. Hold on. Steph Curry is about three to three. I'll call you back. You wake up, you're like I'm like, what's changed you?

Like, I love the Boston Celtics.

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When you go to upstart dotcom views, that's upstart dotcom views don't forget to use. Are you are all to let them know we sent you. Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit income and certain other information provided in your loan application. Go to upstart, Dotcom argues. What is your biggest failure, my biggest failure? Yeah, the audition or the or the breakup with a person with SNL, SNL. That was the biggest. What happened?

SNL. I just didn't get it. And you auditioned. Yeah, but you worked in the back room for a while.

No, I worked there. And then I had a lot of, like, goodwill, like going up to it. And I was like I was I was in New York and performing and having, like, articles written about me and was like, oh, this guy, this guy, this guy. And I had like, a lot of, like, momentum. I got, like a great agent and like a great manager. I was with, like, UTSA of like a hotshot like new agency.

Yeah. I had a fucking great agent and they got me the audition at SNL and they were like, they need this guy. Like, they need you, they need a guy like you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And guess who got it? Who can be found.

No way. Wow. Jay, even even after I did the audition, which was good, I, I went in and I was like, I did good. Like I walked out. And when I walked out, everybody was like, oh my God, it was so fucking good. And I was like, really, really, really nice. Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow.

How many people do you audition for? There's probably like five people at a desk and like ten cameramen. Ten.

Oh, my lord. You people you audition on the set. On the set. Yeah. Like where they do the monologue where you watch. And what was your thing. Was your did all my life characters that I was like doing in New York and impressions.

What do you what's like, what's like the thing you have to do like a certain amount of character. What do you have to do. You had six minutes, OK. And you can just do whatever you want in those six minutes. Show, show your thing.

Sometimes they'll say like do three characters and three impressions. You've auditioned for SNL? No, but I have read I like watch a lot of people who have all that.

Jimmy Fallon did so well. He auditioned the same time you did. Yeah, he does like Seinfeld, dude.

He does like and no one knew who he was. No.

I mean, if you're going to lose SNL, though, like to lose to Jimmy Fallon, that's like losing a Michael Jordan. I know. Like, that's like he was hilarious.

I wish you'd told me this. I would have told them. I mean, I would want you to tell Jimmy Fallon that. Do you think he remembers? You know, it wasn't like there were in like, oh, I didn't get the job, Dave.

Remember me? I mean, I didn't see him. Do you think that, like, everything happens for a reason? In a way, we're like YouTube was like I know it's kind of sad to say, because you've missed out on, like, the coolest jobs in the world. Right. But like you think, do you think, like, this was like your calling? Like you feel that everything just to be here?

I do. I have so many friends who are my age who would die to be where I am. Right. Ones that have like already done really cool stuff too.

Okay, so if you could go back in time, would you get that SNL job. No. Yeah. Hundred percent.

You'd be hosting The Tonight Show like those questions. Okay. At all. Would I go. Would I trade it right now. Yeah. Yeah. Jay you could have SNL. Yeah. No, because I got fired. Right. Right. It's also it's also like I wasn't maybe wasn't ready. I will probably I have that dream all the time too. I'm getting fired from SNL. It's yeah. It's crazy. Don't have it anymore. But I used to you have had this dream where I'm on, I'm on SNL and I fuck up live and and I, and I lose a job even though I never got I had I had a dream the other day where Taylor said something like like really rude.

Taylor's rolling her eyes really said something to Taylor, said something really rude in front of a bunch of people.

We are like a restaurant and it was so rude.

JJ hates that you guys not like the next day I walked in and he was already mad at me.

I was like, what did I do? And you're like, well, in my dream last night, you did not do the in my dream last night you could analyze this, but I was yeah.

We were like a restaurant and she says something and I was like, oh my God, to the people around me. I'm so sorry that she said that.

And what I said and hold on very out of character. I very out of character. It was very rude. And I was like, this is so fucked up. And and I was like I was talking to people in the restaurant is like, I'm sorry, I just can we just keep this to ourselves? I'm sorry she did that.

And the restaurant person comes out to me like, well, listen, we're either going to post about it or put it on television. And I was like, why? No, let's just keep it to ourselves. I'm so sorry she did that.

And and he's like, no, we're going to put it on television. I'm sorry. There's nothing you can do about it.

Wow. Oh, wow. I want to analyze this. Yeah. And I was like, are you kidding me? And Taylor laugh she's like, I think it's time for me to go home, which is a big thing for her to say because she never wants to leave work. Right. So like for her to go home, I was like, fuck, she knows she fucked up. So she left to go home and they ended up I think they put on television, you're going to love me.

Want to analyze this? What you're going to love, AJ, I know you hate when I do this. You're going to love my analysis. I go, you figure surrounded by fucking idiots and you're the only smart one. You think, yeah, that's it. And you're worried about everybody else making you look bad. That's my analysis. And that has been another. Jason, nice dream analysis brought to you by better help. Hey, do you think that's it?

I think that you're scared of. Like how people can mess up certain scenarios and make, yeah, that something that affects your life, I think it's that you think that everyone around you is an extension of yourself and everyone around you should act the way that you do because of that.

Oh, that's even better. It's that I think I do think that I like you only you don't surround yourself. But like everyone that works for you or everyone is like close to you. You think of them as an extension of yourself, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You'll get pissed off of Natalie Post's story that you don't like. Right. Because you're like, why the fuck would she post that? I hate this. This is not funny. And it's like it's Natalie's account.

You can do whatever she wants. So what is this? What do you guys think that you need? It's fucking chill out and take some guys weird.

Like I'm the one blamed, I think, because Taylor is someone who, like you literally see every day and you think of Taylor as an extension of yourself is turning into me.

You're also really like control. Taylor is one hundred percent turning into you.

Taylor, what am I thinking of right now? Three to one. No, a random word. Ready? Three, two, one, go.

Beneful. Fuck. I told you about you the other day, Dave. We were we were like in you.

Wait, before you go, can I just say this one thing based off what Taylor and I just did, bro. The other day I was playing Call of Duty real quick and and Alex was about to get off. And I was like and he was like, dude, I got to go. I'm so hungry. And I was like, OK, if I could think of one food you're craving right now, you have to stay on. And he's like, what is it?

What is it? And I'm like, OK, you're thinking of barbecue ribs. And he goes, Get out of my fucking head.

It was the funniest thing you had to stay on and it was the most random thing. I can't believe you like you've barbecue ribs.

Wow, that sounds good. What are you saying?

What was I wearing you wearing like this classic Dave Dowrick black hat, black t shirt. And you were filming and you were all passionate about filming of a video about Jello.

And I remember being like, why does Dave care about this isn't something he would film. Yeah. And that was it.

Now was that. Yeah, I've completely lost my mind and I've lost my way. Oh yeah, that is it. And filming Gelo is something I would be currently doing.

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Do you have dreams about your ex-wife?

You say you just read a bad text where you seem like you just wrote a bad time. Not at all.

Oh, I have great specific emotion to note on someone.

He reads me like he reads like something is such a specific emotion. He can read like something just came up on his phone. Yeah. He can read me so well it's really it's actually like you checked out for a second.

Yeah I did. But why. Huh.

Well look, you still got barbecue ribs so I know what happened. That's what it was like. Barbecue, was it?

Nothing. Nothing. I was thinking about something. I mean, you're thinking about really bad, huh? I was thinking about a girl that doesn't like me.

I knew it. I knew it. But I thought a girl texted you something. No, no, I didn't I wasn't reading my text, but that is what I was thinking about. You know, I realized I realized that that I had this. I can't like anybody because I can't take it. I can't take the rejection. So what so what I do is I wait for someone to like me and then I'm like, OK, that's basically it.

I cannot put up with the pursuit of somebody you can't like. I'm not capable of it.

You can't admit that you like somebody first because you're like you're what? You'll wait till they like foaled and they show their cards and they go like, I like you. Yeah. Yeah. You'll wait till they open up first. Yeah.

Makes sense because every time I try to pursue somebody or I like somebody, it's, it doesn't fucking work.

You a good secret keeper. Do I have a secret keeper.

He's so fucking old. Jason, we're talking to you. You're on a podcast right now. That's David. I'm Mike. Right. That's Alan. OK, here you do. I have a pretty.

Oh. What she was like. Do you have a secret keeper like somebody that you go to and tell your secrets to give a secret that you've never told any of us?

Make sure I have one secret that I told nobody.

Really? Oh, it's fucking crazy. You have a grave one, huh? You're taking it to the grave. I know. I think this one I'll share. And because it's really funny, but like, I have to give it enough distance for it to be funny. Like, right now, if I said it, you guys would be like, what the fuck? All right. Well, it'll be really funny. It's nothing illegal.

Does it involve someone else? It's just you. It involves somebody else's belongings. Dave, what's something that used to be a secret that isn't anymore? Yeah, but people think I'm because it was so funny someone so there was like this whole Twitter chain going on and everyone was like, this motherfucker rejected. Karinna, this motherfucker, this motherfucker rejected Madison beer. And then someone responded like, well, I think he's bi curious. And then the person responded like, no, at this point he's just by himself.

It's really it's really funny. Literal. Are you bi curious you might be now?

I don't think so. He said something in a podcast. I think I said something that made it sound like it. And I don't want to be like I'm not like curious because I don't really care. Yeah, but like but no, I don't think I am unless he's saying I want to, I want to cuddle with Scott. Makes me curious. No, I feel like you'd want to make out with a guy just to see what it's like.

No, no I don't think so.

Just to see what it's like now because I don't like saying that to him. Is that something you want?

No, because I think David is the kind of guy that just wants to experience every single thing life has to offer. And like me, but not that I don't like.

I have I have straight friends that like have done that, like they made out with a guy just to see what it's like.

I have a lot of straight friends that I just don't like beards, so I shave it.

So if I wanted to be with my hair.

Ever told you about my airplane? Yeah, no, I think I did. I think we talked about it in the podcast once, like every well I think about this before covid. But every flight there's always seats. Most of the time their seats open, especially when it's the random places around the world, like not like high traffic areas like Chicago or in New York or L.A., but their seats open on a flight. I want there to be a thing that when you come to the airport, there's an airport generator, you go to this box, it's like a little tollbooth.

Whatever it is, it's like a little phone booth. And you hit generate a random ticket. You pay half the price of a regular ticket and it gives you a ticket or two to a random destination. And you can fly there with your friend and it gives you a round trip ticket for like half the price. But you have to buy it after after it's selected. And I feel like it'd be like a cool thing, like an airline could do as like this cool, like little little trinket thing that's going on.

And I feel like could be like awesome for, like, adventurers to use, you know.

Yeah, that's cool. Yeah. I do think it's cool. It's a great problem. Yeah. It's great for like young people. Like I feel like young people. I love that shit, like, where are we going? Like a random place, like it's kind of like the puzzle. The puzzle we did. Yeah, you got a name for it. Where am I going? I'm kidding. I haven't thought of that.

I think you'd have them the option that they, like, have to buy it, even if it's then fucking like, no, I don't know, Nova Scotia.

I think you have to buy it. I think that's the thing. I think you I think you pay 200 bucks and then it gets you around like three tries maybe like, well, it has to be cheap enough that it doesn't matter.

Yeah, but what if I packed for the summer and then it sends me to Alaska. But I think that's the fun part. That's part of the fun I'd like to take. It would be like, you know, it could be 100 bucks, but you get to go to France, you got to go to North Dakota.

If anybody's parents work at an airline and want to make this thing come true, please let me know. Why I want to do it, I think really, David, I think it be sick, I think be the coolest thing and we have enough time because the pandemic going on. So we have enough time to set it up. Dave, what do they get back? You get round trip, round trip, ticket guy.

I guys, that's all the time we have for this podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you for joining us. I love hanging out with Jason. He's one of my closest and dearest friends.

Why do you have to be so sarcastic? We'll see you guys later. My name is Jeff.