We're here today with DePaolo and Dylan Francis, everybody applauds best to ginormous deejay's, OK, first of all, J, you just ask, why do we call you Diplodocus?

You can call me w w it's such a thing in L.A.. Did you see that Tic-Tac. It's like how girls in L.A. are like when someone brings up this dude. This has happened to me personally.

Someone will bring Diplo up in to be like this party, a deposit and then someone will go, who.

Oh you mean w and they'll just fucking have to prove like there's always one person here that needs to prove that those girls are liars.

But, you know, the thing that's funny is when I do a show, people that only read my Wikipedia page, my first name was actually Thomas, like Thomas Thomas.

They went out to my car, Samantha Thomas. I'm like, What? I'm all here, who's Thomas? So people will try to prove to you that they really know me like they know my first name. But I'm like, no, like, who is that? We always talk about this. We always talk about diplo in some way. And you always say he has no idea who you are. And I always think that too.

I'm like I'm like, do you know who I am? No, you were you came I met you at the backstage.

Didn't do you like I think you're just Dylan's friend camera. Well, I am in France. Yes, I knew and I never really met you properly so I think we just met tonight. Actually I'm pretty sure that this is the first time you actually got to be like, you know, I was doing like an interview like at The Amazing is like on the red carpet. And he came up behind me and like to say hello. And Natalie, I figure somebody who was with me and she was like, you know, Dipo.

And I was like, I don't think I do. I honestly don't think he knows me there. And then I told you about that.

And I think I think he's just like, oh, yeah, I remember that guy's hair.

I always thought you were just Doolan's like, really happy friend with a cool hair.

And I'm like, you have a house and stuff like that, like you ordered pizza or something. But I was going out with his friend and it was like Camrose, you know. Yeah. I always thought that I was like just some sort of like made up like figment of people's imagination, like he sees me and at parties and stuff. You are like a spirit, though. It's like you just are like, I don't know everywhere. But that's how I feel like you are.

You're ever I watch your inside stories and I can't tell what location you're in because we were just trying to see, especially to do the podcast where you have stories from like nine different countries going up at the same time. I did a lot of traveling today. I was I was in Moscow. Yeah. Places I read that I used to work at Subway. Right. I did. Yeah. And you would get mugged there lots of times. And what do you mean you got mugged.

How did that work. The subway I worked at in Orlando was open to like four a.m. So if you want to rob some place, it's the only place to rob like after clubs got out or whatever. So we got robbed a couple of times and then eventually I just started like locking myself in the freezer and then like so like I was like, whatever happens out here now, like you. No, I never had a gun because I came in like, yo, give me your money.

I was like, all right. I never saw a weapon or anything, but we got robbed there.

Probably those cameras like, well, they're not going to think I stole it. They see someone came in here about escape. Someone came in and was like, give me all your money. There is no threat. You didn't see a knife or a gun. And you're just like, here you go. Yeah.

Who's going to who else is going to say that? Like, I'm going to say like, no, I mean, like, I think they probably won't hurt me, but I just it wasn't my money. Did you ever steal from that subway?

I stole so much shit from my real racket. Was that like I didn't steal money. I go to jail, but I stole back in the day. Subway had this thing called sub club cards. I remember that. So whenever you eat a subway, they give you a little stamp that says like, oh, you got a foot long. So eventually if you had if you got eight, you get a free foot long.

Yeah. So I stole the entire roll of those things one day because they just came in the back of the mails like no one hook this up to the thing. So I just took it my pocket and I left and that, that somehow I was like eighteen. I ate subway every day. I was hitchhiking across the world. I had like every single car. I was like, where I go, I get free drinks, free subway chips everywhere I went.

So I had like nothing but subway for an entire summer. I ate like free food. I was like hitchhiking and just being like a total punk. Why were you hitchhiking? Just to hit as many subways as you can?

Yeah, just to see also, you know, but I was like a little like I was like when I was like a high school, I was just like a little graffiti punk traveling guy. I didn't have much money. I just I traveled a lot and just like hitchhiked I went to a thing called Rainbow Gathering, which is like burnaman for like homeless people. Right. Just went out there and I like, wait, sorry.

I just did. Right. What did you say? Right. So I was like, are homeless Burning Man for homeless people.

OK, but what did you call it? It was called Rainbow Gatherings still happens. Rainbow Gathering. It's like I totally hear what you just go there and just like live and eat pancakes and, like, make food in the woods. And that was where you were heading? Yeah, I was going to that. I went to that and I came back and I was like hitchhiked and I went to like Nashville. I just it was hard to, like, hitchhike.

Actually, this is Atena. This is last year. This is last year. Actually want to do tour. You guys are both always on the road. Is there a fast food place that you guys go to that that prevails over anything is like like when you land in Dubai and you're like, no fucking way. They have a Sharkey's here. Is there anything specific like that? If they had a shark, you said, I'll be sick. You go to Dubai often.

I've been there one time. There's ever been a situation where someone. Like someone like Ashik has flown you out just for a very specific thing, like just for somebody like 14th birthday in Dubai and the money's fucking like oil money, ridiculous money.

Did you I play a couple of like bar mitzvahs and sweet 16. I did that. I did that to bar mitzvahs. Bar mitzvahs are popping. Yeah. Do you prefer a bar mitzvah? Coachella. It's by far.

Oh, no. Well, this guy is, you know, somebody like high end bar mitzvahs, but you're my fourth. So I went to a bar mitzvah. Did you play? Because the last one that I played was in Chicago and the kids did not give a fuck about me. They put me up in this rafter and then they had this M.C. guy doing like the the Hava Nagila.

I hope you my bar mitzvah guy, I get to give you a big intro. Yeah, they did. And the kids were like, fuck.

Well, why did that why did that why did the parents choose you or the kids fans of yours? This is a bad idea that I had. I just have a website where, like, you could read a bigger story. Yeah. You could pay me to become a vegan for a year or you could pay me to do like you used to have a website where you could pay me to do this. You just me to do it was called my website Don Francisco, where you could pay me to be a vegan.

You could pay me to do your taxes, which I would probably fuck up and a bunch of other stuff. But I had on my website, like, I'll pay your bar mitzvah for ten grand and we forgot to update the website when you got there.

Yeah. And then all of a sudden this kid from Chicago, these like parent from Chicago that like owned a casino. We're like, oh, this is great book. Yeah, they do my taxes for an additional two. They did. They did. What are the other options?

There was I would chug a gallon of milk in one minute. Oh this is like that website where you can get people to do random thing. Yeah, well it was just friends. Just me. Only him. It was only me. It was like Cameo. But he's the only person call all the money we would give like we would give to what's it called.

We give to charity afterwards.

So how is that for tonight. Concert you guys did.

We did the four night concert and then I'm like I have a ticktock account and whenever I post something on my part I pay for, I goes back on it again. I'm like, Oh guys, I really like had a career before, like I did. I grab whatever they're like before I go, I will go for it. I don't like. That's the only thing that happens to us on Ticktock. Nobody knows us for being on tock. I'm either David Dobros friend, dancing queen deejay guy fortnight guy.

You actually get the Dancing Queen thing. Yeah. At shows there was recently when I went to a Chipotle.

There's Lady Gaga. Well it just goes back to you because she was looking me. She goes, oh, you look familiar. And I'm like, maybe.

And she's like, oh no, hold on, hold on. David, don't break. Like what? How I had a mask on, too. Right, right. You hang out with David Olbrich, do that deejay guy from David Overexploit you. It's friend. Yeah.

That's fucking crazy. Yeah. I'm David's friend. Does that feel shitty. No, I actually appreciate that. I'm known for so many stupid random things right here.

I have five of those things I bought you guys.

David Dobra guy Dancing Queen, deejay, guy diploma's friends. I'm not even David Hicks friend. I'm just for tonight guy. So it kind of sucks. Well, you're getting closer, bro. The fact that you're here and you found out that I'm a legitimate human, it's like, wow, I left for so long.

I know you guys do like New Year's shows and stuff.

How does that work? What's the most amount of shows U.S. wins this one? Yeah, you can do multiple shows. Explain that. How does that work?

I did one show a year or two. Like two sometimes maybe three if you're for crazy. But I've done three. I did one tour. It's called Trap Hawk Down. It was so good. It was in like East Coast. It was a helicopter tour and it started in Baltimore like 4pm. Then I think I played two shows in Philly like a one underrates party then like a at a shoe store. Then I flew to Atlantic City like at like midnight and I played this like casino there.

I flew to New York to play this like five am shows. I did five shows what different cities in one day.

What did you play? You've done it. I've done like New York to L.A. You'll do like a ten o'clock show in New York and then you'll do the midnight show in L.A.. Yeah. And then you'll do an after party.

You can't barely get that. That's like I'm doing logistics because you have to go. You have to think about this. You have stage like ten o'clock in New York. It's a drive forty, thirty minutes to like a place or helicopter to ride the private jet, whatever private jet, the new private jet to L.A. they still take that in L.A. Traffic is nice playing L.A. traffic during or you helicopter. You get you get like seven hours escort. OK, you know the drill.

You get police escort. Yeah, we do every time we used to. But before for fortnight. Not now of course in some places but like not America is not that easy. Yeah. Oh. So it's, it's better to perform in other countries because they give you like better service. But I don't know, I've got a police escort in San Diego when I played San Diego is different. Yeah. But anybody you please escort me when you play the shoot.

I got a police escort to Subway in San Diego.

I was dropped like six dollars, like you can take me there.

We were also talking about like there's also when you're when you're at. Like a club you have. Where is it at the that the wind when? Yeah, so they they have this thing where you can buy certain packages, like you can get a lot of chicken tenders, you can get champagne and you can also meet the DJ. Yeah. And it's like 50000 dollars just to do all that. Are those packages throughout like every country or every place.

No, I think it's only Vegas, right.

Oh, I mean, sometimes someone will come and be like, I mean, I'm like, no, like money. I'm like, okay, it's like under the table.

The Vegas one's probably on the menu because there's a menu for, you know.

Yes, on the menu, 50000 dollars for a bottle of champagne and to shake Bill Francis's hand. And you've got new ones. I mean, one time. Yeah, let's. Pretty fucking sick. Yeah. You better fucking me that dude's day.

I did. I sucked him off. Yeah. I was like those fifty five thousand dollars that I got an extra five grand. An extra five. And, Natalie, what are some things that are getting in the way of you and happiness, you better help well assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. You connect in a safe and private online environment and you could start communicating in under 48 hours. It's not self-help. It's professional counseling done securely online.

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Again, that's better help h e l p dotcom slash views. I you know, I don't want to get into this, but there there are a few deejays, Dylan, that you told me that you have beef with. David, don't don't bring this up. No, David, get a different game. David, get a get one of the David. Get a go at the. Yes. What David Guetta.

David Guetta is actually happy for them because I don't want to put it in. I mean, no I don't I don't give a shit good deal.

I have the weirdest beef with him that he didn't. Oh you did. Of doing targeted him for some weird reason why the guy was like a target, but he was so confused by Dylan, like making fun of me. OK, this whole joke planned for David Guetta because it was perfect and I didn't know you actually would have been so deep in a lot of people. No, no, no, not that many. I think just maybe it was the best it was the best beef ever.

So, David, get a posted this video. I hope you can find it. It's David. Get a standing in the subway. You're crossing just looking at the camera for 45 seconds. And during this time, this was when black Beatles like Mannequin Shout was happening.

So I took the video and I put black Beatles to it. And I wrote this huge Instagram post where I was like, I don't know what the fuck David is doing, standing and sharply across staring at a camera without black Beatles playing. It must be that he forgot to put the song on or he grabbed the wrong and or file.

It wasn't even bad. No, it was just me were helping him out. Yeah.

And then but then he went in and he just like went immediately to money and like views and was like, hey man. Well I have 600 K views on my video and you only have this amount. And then I went and was like, well actually you have like six point four million followers. I have one point something at this time. And if I have 200, can you have six? And I actually have more views than you deserve. It is better.

Yeah. So you have actual social media before they Democrats. Yes. Oh fuck my bad. I didn't mean to be that most. You just take themselves seriously. You guys are fun.

But I think David Gura did not understand what I was doing that all I did shake his hand like afterwards he did it, he was not. He said, well it's actually the best quote that he said to me. He goes, Next time you're going to make fun of me, text me.

That's good policy. So good.

Pretty good policy. All right, David, I'm posting something that's really going to make fun of you today. Cool. Yes, very cool, Dylan. I mean, most of these just take themselves way too seriously. Way too seriously, I guess. Kind of like we're like, lucky to be up there and, like, have fun. Yeah. But also, I'm like, why are you guys. Why yes. Like so like crazy with it.

But most of them are like fun like so yeah. This is one of the best I have somewhere to be some people. But honestly, like I if you, if you're in this game that long, you know that you just you, you all become friends. Right.

You know who is like they're all like for me they're like different like Mortal Kombat characters, especially those guys from Holland and stuff like Korea. It's like just like kind of like, like yea at this point.

I remember when we went to Vegas with Dylan. Oh yeah. I remember fucking really cool. Yeah. It was the best but but he was on the fourth floor bro. I thought he was on penthouse suite. I will never forget this. Oh yeah. Where do you stay when you stay at a hotel. Top level or bottom floor.

I mean they kind of give me whatever room on that. The suite I have.

I do. I thought like when Dylan first invited me, I was like, this is going to be fucking insane. And it's literally it was just me and him hanging on his hotel room. And I still had to ask for permission to eat the cashews.

Like it was like there there is nothing about it. That was like, well, first of all, he flew southwest.

We did fly southwest, which we did. And I was just nice. We check, we fly southwest, which is great. And then Dylan was with us like, oh, darling, must just be like chillin with us.

I thought he was doing that for us or for us too. Yeah. So he was like, oh, I always was the best flight.

And they were like, you know, the Southwest flight. It goes from Burbank straight to Vegas. Yeah. It's always on time if you get it is it is good. It's always on time and on time. And also a lot of the times there's nobody in those. Yeah, right.

So it's kind of like look at have a private airline for like five dollars.

We if we choose to like go on Southwest for like 150 bucks or pay fifteen thousand dollars for round trip, which is probably longer. Right. That's like my kids like, you know, a year college. Like what's the point of like going on Jet. You don't have to. I didn't know I was going to hear all this financial stuff from you. It's I mean, I'm feeling I'm more responsible. I should have been calling you about my my stock portfolio before.

Am I going to hook you up, you know, but then, OK, the flight was one thing but then but then when we got to the hotel like a nice room, nice room, very nice chicken. I remember we got in the elevator and I saw the buttons, I saw fifty floors. And I was like, we're fucking going all the way up. We deserve this.

Like I flogged hard.

Let's do this bitch.

And and then he hits for I thought I thought maybe he was getting his tour manager to be like, we're here, come on out.

But no, we went in and that was his room and it was cool. It was like a suite. But it was like, you know, it was just it was there was a room. It was not the Dillon Francis at the encore. Yeah. And here once a week residency. I literally 20 bottle service when you walk it, but you made a good point why you choose the fourth floor. It's the closest to being able to get downstairs if it's sensible.

Yes, because when you're on, like, the fifth floor of those things, you're fucking stopping at every floor.

And those elevators take so long when it's like primetime hours and you want to be away from people in the elevator as much as possible, because I know they're doing this and they do like 40 floors with this guy and then they'll follow you to your room and people knocking on my room. You always know you're in there. Are you with us across the way? You know, we read this about us.

Is it true that you can't watch TV unless you. I'm reading something on it. No. No. Is that true? Yeah. I watch episodes I've appeared on. Oh.

Because I read somewhere that you can't watch TV unless you watch at least two hours of Sesame Street. That's I don't know. I think you I think it makes up to think like somehow watching TV where you are. Well, I don't know.

That was when I was younger because I don't know what that was.

When I when I was younger, I had to watch an hour of Sesame Street, lots of regular, regular TV. So you're talking about like that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Is claiming that's your own. Yeah, no, that's mine. I was when I was younger. It's not right now. I don't have to do that anymore. I'm sorry. I know it's hard enough today. Yeah.

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Delivered straight to your phone to learn more text dich vape to eight eight seven zero nine. OK, OK, this is this is a go on to the least amount of effort you've given during a show time.

OK, this is actually pretty bad, but there's a reason for why I gave such little effort. So I had flown from India that day to Australia. We had to drive to the venue that was out and this on this fucking like Cliff. Right. And my Saturn got pushed back like five hours and I was so tired. So on stage I was playing for 30 minutes like the sound was fucked up. I, I was literally just like playing things.

And I just remember walking offstage and I was like, Mike, I'm not playing anymore. I'm sorry. I'd even say bye to the crowd or anything. It was really fucked up on my part and it was really windy too. So I think it was affecting a lot of people that were like trying to have a good time. You're blaming it on the wind?

Yeah, I think the wind was mainly if you if you lose the vibes, the crowd, it's really hard to get it back, like on stage. Like there's not one comedian. If it's not going good, he's like, yeah, next joke works. And it's like kind of hard to like.

It's interactive, but how often do you lose the crowd like per year if you have let's say you have a hundred shows which I know you have more, but 100 shows how many times you lose at this point.

I don't really. I mean, if people come to my shows, they're going to kind of come like they're going to take whatever the fuck I give them. Like, I'm like I'm like, this is my thing. Oh, MacDonald. Yeah. You know, I love that song because a big tune, but big tune. If there's a there's a technical problem that sucks, you know, and if you're doing three shows, you might have like three or four, like I did a show in Nigeria once raining outside and I was shorting all the plugs this morning.

I go on stage and I'm like, OK, I'm play my big record. Jackie recorded. I was like playing the piano and everything going crazy. I go jumping up on stage going crazy and only the monitors are playing like the speakers aren't playing God.

Yes. It's almost like, like I'm not feeling well and then like I'm like just going down like this sucks.

And then they come, they come and just turn me down like, you know, wait a minute. Because like we have been sitting here and I'm like, but the mic works. So I'm like, what's going on here? So I'm like, OK. I walk a little back with the crowd. Like they're like the kind of people. Do you think it was raining? I'm like, this sucks. And then I get on the mic, I'm just like, Hey guys, I start telling jokes at the moment.

Like Big Brother. Nigeria was like a really big show. And these guys like to tell some jokes about Big Brother Nigeria. I was like, oh, no, we're like, do this joke is like, OK, so it's like a little stand up for like five minutes, like about Big Brother in Nigeria and the crowd kind of laughs a little bit, whatever. And then slowly they kind of walk away with it. And then finally it does plug in at a twelve, maybe a hundred people still left at the end.

I did do so in a way out of the 2100 people are left because it's like thirty minutes and it's raining. People are going to stay for a show, by the way, that happened to me at one of his festivals as well, the Madison Block Party, where I did the exact same thing, where the monitors are on and you just fucking go so hard on the first song you're playing. And it's the most embarrassing thing possible.

Imagine like some guy dancing on stage with no audio, just like going crazy. Yeah. By himself. Let's look at this. Mike is working just here. It's all pretty sad to look down and just see faces of just like, yeah, people are moving. It's like you're so in the moment and you can't tell. Right, because it's because your speakers are so my speakers are so loud. So then then someone had to come over me like fucking main speakers are in on like are you fucking look how it's possible.

It's like the worst. It's so bad. And then I've also noticed that like different crowds will come in to like different shows. Yeah. And you'll have to like, change your music style just for that crowd that's coming in. So it'll be like a football team. It'll be more like, yeah, pump up stuff. Whatever I had to do, show I did.

When the Eagles won the Super Bowl, big Eagles fan was like three years ago in Minnesota. And I got booked like last minute to do the Super Bowl after party was being Cardi B, I was in Pakistan. I was doing a show then I had to fly from Pakistan. This is to Minneapolis and back to India. So the next day I went there and I'm like playing like randomly hip hop records, all the football players and then the owner of the clubs like, can you play Tom Petty?

I won't back down was like, all right. So I play like all the awful players, like going crazy versus playing card game.

I was like, all right. But I'm just like how to go back and forth like classic rock, holy trinity.

That's that's funny. Like you guys are artists, but at the same time someone can be like, hey, that's the deejay, tell them to switch the dudes up.

But at this party I'm not. The headliner is the Eagles. I'll make everybody happy. I'm so happy that I won the Super Bowl. This is like a rare right there day. Also, we're the days. We're just like I'm I'm happy to present my music and play records and make everybody happy and enjoy my content. But at the same time, I want to we're like Liberal Party. Yeah. We want people to be crazy if the situation is not good.

I mean, this is the bottom. We're just like we can do. We can figure it out. We can figure out the puzzle. Right. Everybody happy? At one point I know how to play Black Eyed Peas. I can do it. It's going to work.

Do you guys hate when people come up to you and ask you to play specifically if it's a bad song? Yeah, I hate that. If it's a good song, then I'll be like, oh fuck. Yeah, I'll do that.

That happens every shot. It has to be like a drunk due to a drunk girl coming up.

Well, yeah, ever since like the phone, the Kairouan thing, people put it on their phone. Yeah. The big play dancing queen.

That's not my song.

I mean, because all the tick tock records are so big about something back to the clubs. I don't think people know who those records are, though. Their songs are 15. So I guess play that play the play the one with the dance. I'm like, yeah, like no one. Everybody knows who the songs are, what they are.

So it's going to be a little bit awkward to figure out your sets. Not going to be three minutes long and it's going to go through the ticktock with are you guys good cardie DJs?

I know it's stupid, but, you know, it's like people love you. Gave you a Spotify playlist. I would follow you. I love I love seeing people's playlist. He just found out who I was today. And I know already about your place.

I rather follow you on Spotify than any other media. I think that means so much more to people like yours. That's like what you put your heart into, like, oh, what makes you happy in the club or whatever. I mean, what makes you happy is like I'm saying, I meet people all the time. I'm like actually follow people on Spotify. I check that, I check what they listen to. Really.

Oh fuck. OK. Oh yeah. I'll go up there.

I will follow you like Portugal. The man I love Portugal the man that's five like fucking three songs on there with Portugal. Well then Elena one of their, some of their homies. I was trying to make a song with them before covid hit the. I'm from Portugal. From Alaska. Oh no, they're from Seattle. I thought one of us from Seattle, Alaska.

Really. Yeah. From Alaska. Anchorage know somewhere aren't they. Maybe they're not real people. Maybe they're also are these real guys. Dylan used to have a I think they're called Zelasko. You know, you did it did it to the festival. Well, I don't know why. I just like one day I called my booking agent, go, yo, I want to play in Alaska. I just need to see it. And that's it just happened.

Yeah. He's like, yeah, I got you know, it was quiet because everyone's like, yo, we don't get any artists up here. Like, thank you so much for doing that.

It was amazing. People showed up. I think the first one, probably No. Ten, I think we believe we bumped it up a little bit. I swear to God, I'm not even joking either. Wasn't like a crazy amount. But then the next one got bigger. But everybody was fucking feeling it because. Yeah, but then everyone started copying me. Does that. I did. I did one, two. After the last I did it, I did the Madison Block Party last year.

But the best thing is that a strip club there called the Alaskan Bush Company, it's like one hundred year old strip club. And it was like the craziest circle have been to they have like people burlesque shows and like an old tub, like pioneer stripper.

Right, right. Right. Like, oh, you gotta love that.

So what's what's the most amount of people you guys have played to?

I played in Havana for like two million people. Yeah, my major lazer. Yeah, they did. They did the first show in Cuba. You did the first show in Cuba. There's a document actually the second one because the Rolling Stones played before us, but we had a bigger audience than he did.

It's so sick to watch. Oh my God.

It's called Give Me a Future about like about just kind of like young people in Cuba and two million people showed up. Yeah, I reshow in the streets. That's fucking insane.

The documentary is great because it talks about how everybody has access to information. But there's no Internet in Cuba. So people trade USD for information. Don't you have to go to a distributor to go? A guy goes like you're your house and gives you this USB and you share like every week. It's a new a new USB. Well, I'm sorry. You say there's no Internet in Cuba for a majority people. There's no Internet. Yeah. News.

Someone will go write a bunch of things on a USB. They'll be like those coming to do the Aggregative from like America or Europe and Spain. And they just put all this stuff on one USB and they treat it.

How did Cuba promote that? Was it like the biggest thing in Cuba?

We had we had a big fan base there because our records were kind of, you know, they were sort of like Caribbean reggaeton influence. But the government liked our records. So they actually promoted it on the radio because our records were about positivity, like a big rock with lean on and light it up through their records that didn't have any curse words. And it was kind of like conservative country. But so they helped us make the show together. And we were like, not very we knew they knew we weren't going to say anything stupid on stage.

And everybody loved it. Oh, my God. I just I studied Spanish for two weeks, try to, like, talk to people and just like it. I don't by like I was like, if you were like, all right, whatever. That's all the time we have for Dylan. Dipo, I'm going to leave all their shit linked in the description below, including new diplomatics out now. Yeah. Yeah. So three of them but yeah.

I know you like to avoid looking at your credit card bill and not paying off the debt, right? Love to do. That's so crazy. I even make that up.

That's literally in the notes. It's I swear to God, starting to write the ads towards my life. We know that you know what it's like to be depressed and given up a little right here. It says, Ask Jason about avoiding looking at his credit card bill, not paying off that. I mean, I have to go upstart can help you face it and finally pay it off.

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Obviously, they wrote the script to you, but not for me. I can't read any this year or funding personal expenses.

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Upstart people. Those good writing just next time. Smaller words for David. Thank you.

Now, Natalie, you have some news for the entire world. Now, I'm super stoked to share you. I don't know if you know this. I've not. I don't think so. I know this is like Natalie's biggest announcement she's ever had.

The way things have been going for Natalie, I can't imagine it could be. It rhymes with typos. And that sounds like high post. I'm not sure the White House either way, the big news. So what's the news?

OK, well, everyone now can I guess. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no.

Just let me say no getting married. Did you make that?

Why did you make that face like it's gross? Because everybody every time I tell anybody that this news I'm my guy. Something really amazing, like you're pregnant, you're married. They look at my hand for a fucking ring.

I like it. No. OK, so no pregnancy, no marriage. I would not come on the view as bad guys like this would be like I'm pregnant.

Wow. You would, wouldn't you? Where would you go? We're like, go somewhere else, you know, how could you not come here. Where are you going to go, Phalen? The fuck are you saying I want to go on my boss's fucking podcast show that he cares about deeply.

I go with the news tomorrow. Really hurts. It's not funny man.

I thought OK, go. OK, what's the news? I am in Sports Illustrated. It's funny to anyone.

No, no way. That say congratulations Datalink. Yeah, that's my assistant. You had nothing to do with it. That's amazing. Adds a really cool. Oh my gosh.

She got asked to do it a couple months ago and she told me I was like cool.

No, no idea. I don't know what it was. And then she explained it. She's like, there's only there's only one issue of these a year. A year. You've never heard of the swimsuit issue?

No, I have. But I thought they came out every month. I was like, oh, you're like the children. I was like, she's going to be in a collage full of other people that make fun of.

It's going to be like, no, they flew her out to Miami to do a full blown fucking shoot for this.

Wow. It was the most amazing experience ever, ever, ever in my entire life. So proud of you. Yeah, I was really cool. And it was just like so like like I've never I've never done a photo shoot like that ever before in my life, obviously, like I like model on my Instagram or whatever, but like I never actually model never done like a photo shoot professionally. And it was so cool.

I had a whole like I was like twenty people, police cars, like a police car.

I had a police escort. Yeah, well escort a police escort. They just had like two police cars like following us everywhere so that no one would bother us on the set.

And like a because you're so hot, people would just come up to you. Like what? Well, they're very issue only comes out once a year. They're very like everything is very top secret. Like I haven't even been able to see a photo until lately an hour before this.

Right now, this girl is going to a local college and Vernon is studying plant biology. I remember when she was like, I don't know if I want this job.

And it dropped out of the room and I pulled her aside.

I was like, you're crazy. You should do it.

OK, so you haven't she hasn't shown me a picture yet, OK? I haven't shown anybody the final images.

Was it hard to, like, be photographed? Because I know for me, if I got the swimsuit issue. Well, are you trying to say is it hard to look sexy?

Oh, no, no, no. I know if I was, like, being photo anytime you took Merche photos the other day. I'm really uncomfortable right now. It was that hard. Were you good with it? Well, I was very, very nervous. You guys have two different body types, I think.

Yeah, I think it's a little easier for Natalee. I'm sure it's easier for her. But still, you know, if she I would like get in my head or like, you know, like having to pose, did they make you do. The thing I've heard about these swimsuit things is actually really hard. Like, you have to, like, be in the water and like, oh, it's hard to poll now. I can't swim. It's crazy that like that.

It's, you know, it's crazy that I was like my first experience because it was like all in like this is like world renowned for. Geographer and team and all this stuff and like, yeah, I'm like in the water, like crawling out of it all sexy. How many pictures you guys take in total? Thousands. OK, this is the one that you're the one you're about to show us.

This is the one I'm about to show you is just the announcer tomorrow. It gets announced this week. OK, and this is the announcement, although they're only releasing one image I shot in like 16 different bikinis from like 4:00 a.m. until 4:00 p.m. that day. It was crazy, was so intense that I was like just going on. Adrenaline is awesome.

Anyway, where did you change?

I know they had they brought a little changing tent, like, right on the beach and they would hold it up around me and I would change from the videos.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What they say, they say was like, yeah, there was like girls are like, oh Natalie. You know, I was just like, you know, whatever. All right. Can you see the picture? Natalie's texted it to all of us. I haven't texted it yet officially. OK. OK, Natalie. Natalie Texases.

I'm opening in three to one open was.

Oh, four oh oh oh, my goodness. I mean, it looks like you. But it's like the most ultimate sexy hovers in a movie, which is like not a version of me ever so good. Notable long knives from Lake Forest College, Natalie Murdunna and her ass. Wow, this is fucking crazy.

I love the way they did your makeup man or the hair. And the makeup was like insane.

You look like like Xena Warrior Princess and you look like you're in like an action show or something.

And this is, I imagine after months of Photoshop, how did you know how how similar was this to that?

Is that you were telling me about this, that it wasn't even like they don't Photoshop shit, right?

No. I mean, like, my stretchmarks on there, like, my whole body is just like. Right. So this is it's just like they're so good with the lighting. I mean, you're obviously very pretty too, but they are so good with the lighting. No, no, no.

Like I literally my first photo that I took, I was very nervous and I was like, and I want to be the bikini, you know, whatever.

And I, I wore a bikini that wasn't too revealing. Yeah. And then and I was kind of like just shy. And I like moving my body and I like being free. And they were like, okay, come look at these photos.

And I took like the first couple photos and I looked at the monitor and like literally my jaw dropped and my heart was like racing because it was just like they have they have the screens were lighting a little like a leaf blower blowing my hair and everything is like perfect to a T. to make this perfect photo.

But like, even on the monitor, I was like, holy shit. And then I just, like, snapped into it. I was like, this is fucking sick.

Jesus Christ, I, I actually have some news. Oh, yes. That's pretty exciting.

I forgot to check your phones.

I was selected to be on the cover of sleep apnoea today and I think we have a picture of it right here. Oh, you know, we had effects.

Like I said, you could just call for shit like this is sick.

What is your what is your friends from your hometown saying? I haven't told anybody. What are your ex-boyfriend think? You think, oh, God, I don't even want to know. I can't imagine you moved out here. You're dating the sexiest fucking guy, probably in like Studio City, Sherman Oaks area.

And then and then you're on your a Sports Illustrated issue.

You are fucking I think people I told my friends that I was like going to Florida and like doing this whole thing, doing the shoot and everything.

And they were people were all very confused and like the best places you in contact? Well, they were like, how did you how did you even get. Because there's there's only like. Are you talking? Is this your Berkowitz's.

I vaguely know, but there's only like twenty something girls that are selected for the issue. It's like a very like there's only twenty girls 24. So are you like a full page.

What is it. I am, I'm like a part of so I have my own rookie page because I'm a rookie is my first year so I have a whole spread dedicated just to me and then I'll have another few photos.

Right now there's like three photos. It's crazy. And that's in my little section, three photos in the way.

So you'll be an entire page. Yeah. You have three photos in the issue.

I don't know what the photos are, but you said you're the cover of this show now and you're dating Dwayne Wade and all the other girls suck. You know, just the worse that this is said, congrats.

And is it going to have, like, a little, like, blurb about who you are and what you're about is going to marry me? Am I in a Sports Illustrated? You know, there was a big fucking knowing that we should change the words.

Natalie, her own boss, moved out to L.A. to start her own business. You know, she calls it LLC. What? Not tell us what it stands for, but she's so stoked about how it's going. Also, she just started the app dispo all by herself.

That's sick. Yeah. What are you going to say about you? I mean, I have know I don't know what any of it doesn't come out till July.

The official issue doesn't come until July. They're just announcing as the first run.

This is just a little tease. I have some news, too. Oh, yeah. Big news, actually. So, you know, I'm such a big fan of awards. Yeah. So yesterday I went over to my friend Kourtney Kardashians house, and we're just hanging out.

You steal one of her awards? Yeah, I stole one of her. Of you did it. I swear to God, I walked out. I was, I was I went to her office and I noticed she had an People's Choice award.

And I said, Keeping Up with the Kardashians on it.

And I was like, that would look so cool in my pocket studio. So I just went for it.

Why are you being serious? Oh, you took it.

I'm being dead serious now. She knows I told you. I was like, I'm going to I'm going to go because I wanted to not tell her, but I was like, I feel so bad. I was like, can I just take that? I'll give it back to you.

She was like, OK, I've even though I was there, I so I went back and I took it. But what you didn't know is that I took another one because I see.

So when I went back in I took I took two People's Choice Awards. I was pretty sick.

So now I have a total of four to great way to get a guest on the show. I have to back to come back and I'm going to start breaking into celebrities homes. That should be your thing.

You still awards. This is sick, though. They've won so many People's Choice Awards, do have they?

Right. It's it's like. Right, yeah. Basically they probably put these in their backyard. Yeah. This is pretty sick. It's cool. I think this is worth something. Yeah. Oh, 100 percent. Keeping Up with the Kardashians, the best reality show of twenty eight is to have a year. What's that one twenty twenty. Oh I'm the newest one. I mean, dude, the shit can go for a lot.

And then as I was walking out, I also know what's going to introduce obvious to our manager. Jack's here.

Jack, did you just do Coke. No, but I have like a runny nose for some reasons. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You imagine if he's blowing through all your money with Coke. He has a crazy Coke. Not only that, but like Jack, like if you want him, like he's my manager and if you want him, you're for a meeting. It takes a little bit. But today we're like, hey, you want to come get the podcast? He goes, I'm actually right outside. Seven minutes away. He got here so fucking quick. So I was like, there's something in the system.

I'm always here to support you guys, David, you know that. Well, thank you. I do. I wanted to show you this before we even go anywhere, OK? Yeah. You won't believe this. Check this out. Guess who this is? Sports Illustrated. Whoa, Natalie.

Yeah, I know. I know. But I don't want to get in trouble, so. Yeah, well, I think that's good enough for me if I just move on.

So congratulations. It's really cool.

Jack's here because we want to talk about we just launched our app dispo, which is really sick. Quick rundown of it.

It's I mean, the reason I we started the whole thing was because our friends would have disposable cameras at every party, like every party we'd go to. They'd have disposable cameras all throughout the house. And they'd and they'd urge you to take disposable pictures throughout the night. And then like 4:00 a.m., they'd come and collect. All the cameras are like nine a.m. the next day to come and collect all the cameras.

And then they get the pictures developed. And then you saw the photos from the night before. And it was literally like it was like the end of the hangover where, like, you like you saw the clips and it was like everybody was like hung over. Everybody was like throwing up and puking. And I was like the funniest thing and the best part about disposable cameras is like they never ruined a moment, which is so important to me.

So, yeah. So we wanted to make an app, a social media app where you can take those disposable pictures, but you can share them with your friends. And what's so cool about dispo is that what we wanted to do is now you can you can take pictures and you can share them into a role. So how that works is let's say you're on a family trip. Your dad can be like take pictures into the Cabo roll so all five of you will be shooting pictures into the barrel.

And then in the morning at 9am, you get a notification and everyone sees all the photos from the trip taken from different angles. And no one has to send each other pictures or anything. You guys are all in the same group. And it's also great for like sororities and fraternities that are having parties. And it's like girls, everyone's shoot into the Alpha Phi role today. And like you have a party and like every girl in the sorority can be taking pictures under one role.

And then the morning it's this cool and boxing experience like it's Christmas morning and you could see all the pictures from the night before. And and I'd love that. So I'm super stoked.

I'm really, really excited. Regulations, thanks very much.

Working on it for a really long time.

How long are you working on for? About two years. Yeah, right. Yeah. Like a really. Really. And it was out just as a camera for a while.

It was out as a camera. And then we started talking about, we wanted to we wanted people to share roles.

And then that's when we started doing like investor meetings.

And then and now you can have followers on there. Yeah. Right. You can have followers.

And then and then it became public that we were doing something and then. Yeah, but yeah, I'm super stoked about it. We just made a commercial for it which was so fucking fun. We shot with Mark and it's amazing, super talented dude. And in the commercial I have makeup on prosthetic makeup. The guy who made my makeup, his name is Katsu. I can't fucking explain how talented this man is. It took like six hours to be put into makeup plus like four hours the day before because they had to like, figure out my face SRS for hours like a couple of weeks before.

And he's just so, so incredibly fucking talented.

He's an Oscar award winning special effects artist. So he's done he did Benjamin Button. He did Zero Dark Thirty that he won the Oscar for. He did the Grinch, which is crazy because I think he may have won for I don't know, but I like that.

But he may have won. He did the Grinch and like so he put Jim Carrey into makeup every day for six hours. And then to take the makeup off is like another hour, hour and a half.

And they would do that every day. They would shoot. It's fucking insane.

And we did it one day. And I was just like, how does someone sit here six hours a day just sitting here just to put makeup on, like even do like the hair coming out of your skin?

Oh, I mean, yeah, you see pause. It's like crazy. No, it's insane. And like and the craziest part is the whole thing is like super fucking pricey. Like the whole makeup job was a little over 200000 dollars, a little over two hundred thousand dollars.

I just I'm sorry, Dan. I saw outside I showed him my Dr. Phil. Yeah. Yeah. He dresses up as Dr. Phil and Jason standing outside with Katsu. He's like, look, I dress up what I was debating the moment because I was like, but you know what?

No, he'll appreciate this, I think. And then I showed it to him and he was really sweet. He just goes, Why do you do this?

What did you say? I said I said I make videos this, and he goes, oh, I want to get out of here. And then, you know what he said, I swear to God he goes he goes, thank you for showing me that. I really like that. Like, he learned something from it. That was really sweet.

And even I don't know, it was just a crazy, crazy process just to watch him work. And I felt like super stoked on that.

You, David, really cried in the commercial. Those are real tears. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I wanted to do. That Jack dive into Jack. Yeah. Jack was like, yeah.

So I had to cry for the commercial. We had a couple takes to do it, so I cried on three different occasions. I think we did three takes. We just kind of set this up.

So we're there, we're in Malibu. We're we're at this small house. It was beautiful. The lighting was great. The setup is there. David sits down and like I remember thinking, like, you know, this could be awkward. This could be weird. Oh, my God.

Mark pitched me the commercial. He's like, yo, the main shot is going to be you crying.

I was like, dude, I was like, Fox.

So everyone's on a monitor and we're watching this. And, you know, I'm sitting there, obviously, Jason Nailer there to with Dan.

And it was just fascinating to me because you're not an actor, you know, like and you but you do talk about this. You do talk about no. Hanaway, like David will bring this up sometimes or like I don't know if you remember saying stuff like this, like what does an actor do. Like what what is an actor. Right. Like you said that before, I'm sure. And but even in my in my head, I was kind of like.

Yeah, like there is kind of a point there. Like when someone says, oh, I'm an actor, like, what does that mean? And so the reason I want to bring it up is like that was the first time that I had seen you completely fearless, dude.

It was like, whoa. Yeah, it was.

Yeah, just a little word. And I cried really 100 percent actually. No, I got off, I got off my first cry. I think that was like a veteran and I was like, how to go and just wiping away tears.

Yeah. Natalie was calling. What the fuck Jack. Yeah but he's just got a big payday from Chipotle. I was like obsessed with I was like obsessed with acting. I would like read all up on like actors and like how they cry and stuff. And there's this magazine when I was, I think 12 years old, Emma Watson was being interviewed for Harry Potter and it was like a teeny bopper magazine type thing. And the question was, how do you make yourself cry?

And her answer, I remember for the rest of my life, I've no idea why it's stuck to me. But she's like she said, you just have to think of really something. You just have to think of something really sad and put yourself in that moment. I know it's so simple, but like but like that's all it was.

And I was just thinking of Emma Watson the entire time and I was like, that's how I'm going to do this is like exactly what she told me and. Oh, interesting. And and yeah. And in the picture, in the, in the commercial I'm going through, I'm going through like all the pictures of our friends and like I have been filmed in a while and I fucking miss it.

So I literally just, I just like there's two people that really made me cry and it was Jason because I thought of him passing away and I'm being serious.

I thought of him when you're in that chair, you literally thought about that. I thought of him dying because I imagined it like he's dead and like he's gone. And then. And then. And then Carly, for some reason, Carly in control because I haven't seen her in a while. I mean, like six months and like that that, like, made me cry too. So like seeing all my friends and like those interactions, that that's always making me amazing.

Segway. So I'm the car on the way home or when I got home from the shoot, I just wrote this on one of my on the like the the app, the notepad, whatever. And I wrote Dispo Shoot. I've work with David for five plus years and I've never seen him do anything that fearless.

Wait, you're going to love this. And this is literally what you just said. This is why it's crazy.

I cried three or four times. The room full of people was a mixture of David, missing friends, missing parties, missing moments, but most importantly, missing life. Twenty twenty was a year that separated David from his blog and his friends. The crying was a culmination of a lot of things. I felt David's pain. He wasn't faking anything. He didn't give a shit. If people saw him cry, it was fucking magical.

You totally did blow on your you're like, Wow. That's why I wanted to read on the podcast because, like, that's so sweet. When did you write that?

I literally when I got home that I'm like, I got to bring. Oh, you wrote that home the night you got. Yeah. I was like, I got to let David know that, like, wow. I appreciate that.

It was cool them. I didn't know that you so much. Yeah.

And then the best part was I kind of looked at Natalie and like Natalie, how fucking good is it. And Natalie, I swear dead goes. David knows I don't cry.

Like I was like, oh well, Natalie, it's like I'm going to go get lunch.

I finished my book and I had to send it to the people that are written in the book. And that was for approval. Yeah.

Oh, shit. And what's your book about? Like, it's a memoir. Yeah, it's a good memoir. It's it's just like a funny book about like my life.

Is it more like like look how I made it. Yeah. It's like my story.

Oh, you know, it's like how before I met you, my life form is how many pages. I was like two seventy and the. 250 are just a bloodbath. Yeah, yeah, it kind of is like I had to reread it this weekend and it kind of is like you start to cry. I did. I was reading it and I was like, oh, God. I was like, I can't be something I would see.

I would read something bad happening to me again, maybe like the ninth thing.

And I was like, No way. So you sent it to your ex-wife?

I said to my ex-wife. My dad. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. Your dad took a lot of shit about your dad.

What did he say? He wrote me back. He was like, get rid of Chapter two.

And he was he was really nice. But I was bored. Chapter two is like childhood, you know. Oh, my first chapter is like about like being married and, you know, having no job. And the second chapter is about childhood rights. I was fat. I was overweight. My father's really macho. I was pussy shit like that.

But it's funny, but he just read it and just was just like, no.

Well why didn't he like it. Because he was portrayed and he was portrayed poorly at it.

But, but it's like I reread it. I had my mom read emesis, read it and I like litum him up in it. Like I'm like I say like how great he is and all his good characteristics and but he just didn't read that.

So then I went back and read into all the negative stuff. Yeah. He just said like you know, he's like, he's like I didn't abandon you like that. And I was like, I didn't say that. You put it. No, it doesn't say about me. His hair was beautiful. His eye color was awesome, but he abandoned me. No, I didn't say that. I was like it doesn't say it was like it was like a fun conversation back and forth.

And then Marty was great with it. So.

Well, you don't complain about your ex-wife that I know.

I think maybe because she works in TV that she understands, like what a story is. So she was OK with it. She asked me to change one thing. Oh, also, she has different recollection of how we got divorced because I have like a story in there, like what I thought happened. She's like, that's how it happened. Her version is that I cut celery wrong, like celery, like, you know, when you get a bag of celery.

Yeah.

So one night I like I just like tore the celery open and I like rip the pieces out and then I put it back and that's what she says was that was like the last but that was the last straw for her.

What did you say it was for you?

She asked me to leave the office so she could work out to him. And that's when you went to go grab the celery? Yeah, I'm going to rip this fucker to shreds. Yeah. Oh, wow. So anyways, I thought that was interesting.

Am I right about me? Yeah. Yeah. You're in like three of the chapters as you read. You're great in it. Oh no I'm not worried. Yeah. I'm not going to read it.

I had all these fucking mean jokes planned at you, but like you can say, it's just going so well, I just don't even want to do anything.

I mean, if you want to just, like, do my dumb quick.

Dylan has a residency at the encore, which is pretty ironic because he's never been asked for one. Oh, I like a pretty good way.

Bill. Bill on these I you well.