Transcribe your podcast
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What's up guys? What active use this is not sponsored by doordash and you can save 25% on order of $15 or more when you use code and Nash at checkout.

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Grant an argument with one of her friends of the podcast before but but she maybe we haven't cuz I'm embarrassed to say but I sit while I pee is that weird. I don't think it's that weird as an older guy. I'm pretty tired. What's the time? I want to be sitting. I'm sure it's like fine for you to sit when you pee like who cares you do, whatever you want the bathroom, but it like when I think about it, cuz when I think of a guy peeing I think of them standing up, you know, but when you sit down it's like weird be reversed so it's like I think of when a girl pees if I was peeing standing up that would be kind of weird that it's completely different don't think that's when I peed all over your bathroom.

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I didn't sit down at your house ever since my house to there was an emergency and you're running out. Everybody was running out and I as I better. Cuz we're going to be back and everyone was screaming at me like JJ and I just went in and I pulled my pants down and bathroom lights Rod is brought to us whenever I wear that's so weird. You don't remember what it is. I tell myself. I'm like, I'm going to enjoy this one and I'm going to sit here as long as I can't I fucking shit you not every time I go I'm like I have my phone.

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I'm just going to sit here and I'm just going to have them every time I fucking finish. I'm done. I got to go like why am I still sitting here? This is disgusting, right?.

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I need an umbrella. Sunscreen magazine. Don't sit. There. It is in contrast to be battling like a citizen scientist for the kind of weird, but that's what it is that I can't really speak.

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Another thing I said about super and related to peeing maybe you remember this but not do remember this to remember like when you would walk into a classroom and you like a freshman in high school, but your teacher also taught like the senior class and you walking see things in the back of the classroom. Oh my God, what is that? Or like, maybe you'd be scared? And don't worry. That's for my physics Class 8. And you'd be like an experience that I was a freshman once I know how it looked in on senior classes for every time.

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I like reference anything from like high school or college days. You just like fucking have no idea what's going on because I forgot everything looks like a doll out of high school. I remember David might have been like at the end of senior year like the summer I listen to yours. Everyone's like out partying doing random stuff, right and David ever went to parties in high school in general. So if I did, but David wouldn't go anywhere unless John Alex and Mike could all go as well.

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On the cusp of like like I could like I was kind of like Divergent so like everybody felt like my friends wouldn't be invited to certain parties. I was just being cool like definitely popular, but they be like when you ask about me though, I know David that's what you say. But what about him so I wouldn't it was weird bring you three guys. So party like I have that no one ever like LA Fitness High School in general. No dudes are like Friends of the guys like a secondary friend group subdudes can come in my face.

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His guy friends and whenever girls they want to bring and trust me if me Alex and John and Michael wants a party. We throw that vibe off real quick and the K-1 hang out tonight or whatever and I like the picture and he came over. I was Lily in pajamas, like nothing, you know, whatever just thought we're going to be like sitting in the car driving on the neighborhood having a little good time. No, that's not what they was out of mind that he got some like text to go to some party in like Bumble FAQ nowhere and we pulled his party.

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We don't know a single person that I don't even I don't even think, you know, the person that sent you the address but it was someone's birthday and they were also going to the military was our going away party fucking mix and it started out totally normal. Just hang out in the basement talking to people whatever and then his family comes down. There's a bunch of like little kids running around like children and its people partying like drinking alcohol, whatever.

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And I don't know how he found out but then a couple minutes later whatever we found out that it was a trap house if this person's dad sold drugs out of this house and we should go and he has walked in the first time I've ever seen a stripper in my life teen. I think it was like it was like boobs at this point like this is like fucking big and then a bunch of kids and send strippers aren't getting paid like no one brought like singles with them to like pay the stripper is to listen to stop at the bank if I knew Surfers were coming 100% And so the strippers they were dancing for like 10 minutes and they were like fuck that it's whatever they went to the back room and I like we're not dancing anymore.

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The first one was throwing money. Is there a piss comes out? Who is this big scary like drugs healing man, and he was like, I'm leaving this place until these strippers get paid out of your cash out right now the fucking door. I got just a little window. That's like the way we got to get out.

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Yeah, it was bad to get out that you had no cash provided a penguin Shepherd They confiscated everyone's cell phones who was we didn't have cell phones to buy cash app and Surfers it was like, how are we supposed to pay out? No, one had a heads-up that they were coming to her surprise birthday party. That was the craziest. I was like, I don't think I went out with David after that. I was like, what did you just get me when you would have a night like that?

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That was crazy. Would you tell your parents what you did very rarely I like telling them like that like dangerous things. But like that was like not worth explaining to them like you probably got high.

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I remember I remember the first time I told my dad I smoked weed exit makes the only time he goes ha ha. Nice. Try guys either. He told me you told me the first time he got high and I was like, I was like no you didn't you didn't do that. Cuz I did it when I was in high school like to be my first time actually high school at the fucking lot because I was completely illegal to do it and then we have to hide and tucking in like a cul-de-sac smoking in if I had light came on.

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So, it's like game over remember the first time I smoked that we went to we went to Taco Bell. I got a beefy crunch burrito, but I will never fucking forget and then we also went to the first song I wasn't with collard greens by SchoolBoy Q if it feels like the best song to ever get high too. And then we went to Dunkin Donuts where Nick Salerno was puking his brains out. I'm right by the car the rest of us went in and the other half of us went around because Dunkin Donuts throws out their donuts.

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Back, so so we were going to wait till they threw the donuts out and then we claim them all and then we brought him back next fucking puking his brains out boy. A bag of like 300 Donuts now so we hit it big. But yeah, I know I loved it. That was my favorite part about high school never like there'll never be anything nutty. That's why I actually feel for people that like like are home-schooled are like, I've never liked gotten to feel more like a are working from so like early on Like You by Justin Bieber that I got to miss like high school like Mister senior this year senior my best of the podcast and got the people listen to I feel bad but like it is the best years of your life, and I'm so sorry.

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You're making it all that's true. Then you're like, there's a lot of people that you hate it or not. Like it's going to end what happens in high school will never dictate would have.

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And then you're like, you know, I mean you can be the coolest and you can be a loser in the future and you can be the nerdiest and you can be the coolest in the future. That's what's so cool about high school. Is this the only thing in life Are you seriously like refresh like you would literally you in high school? You can dabble and find out what the fuck you're doing or what you are and then you have to hit a refresh button during college and they probably have to do it again when you graduate and you can keep doing it like high school like, you know, it doesn't dictate who you're going to be like you're just growing up and you're learning shit.

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So like that's the best part about it. So even if you have a bad time, like it'll be over your good skin. Like when I was in college, I was only like people like me a funny guy and stuff.

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Would you mean bro? It's not that funny the way you are the way you put the cup up. I was fully believe that you kept him at the base. So funny how many times like if you like I did all the compliation together of like how many times I've insulted you with the same and salt and you found that the same mind if I called you like I've called you mix. Thank you. Mix them up. Yeah, but I call you all this shit. I call you a loser.

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And I and I said it like in probably similar ways but like you every podcast is once a week. So it's like if it needs new every time I say it if you were to Adam all up at least be calling you a loser like maybe 50 times and you are the diapers.

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Cash for 25% off your first order with doordash subject to change terms apply knowledge. Why is it when a girl burps? It's like so cool. Oh actually be complete opposite story. There is a rose is time. We were at we went to that we went out. This is like what two years ago. We went out we were at the we are at the club and like a couple girls came back with us to I think the Saints place is a nice place and one of the girls that like really like sitting around Zane's house.

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I don't know what the fuck are doing, but I don't fucking know where this girl goes. I think the biggest fucking burp the real story like a whole room went in the room. I was a full party but bro.

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Shut the fuk up and I was so scared. At least you say it was me. So tiny and sweet does very confusing know. I think it was like she just thought she saw that I was interested in her house like that. And I was like, it was a goal of dealing with intrusive. What is it from her? And I was like, yeah. She remember the fucking burp like it was like a bomb dropped at the party. Look at one time when I was the purpose insane and I know it's on the graduating but when you were there is that goes like a commercial burp like something is it almost felt like she was trying to outdo her person.

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Someone else burped and she was just like a watch fit. The wall should have been I was about to be at the Isaac trying to get in past the bird if you just look at this side of the screen and it looks like wake up Denver need like we're like, I'm like a morning talk show and then over here are in a set right now. You can watch all these podcasts on video. It's so great cuz we fucking 6 HD cameras pointed at us. It's like it's like a really cool change of paste and these cameras are on throughout the night.

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They just like to stay on for some reason and no one turned them off last night. I came in here and just I fucking I couldn't resist it. I took my clothes off.

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It wasn't like two nights ago, but also curious because I was so curious about like my naked body like looks like on video cuz there's a little monitor where you can see yourself, right? And I was just like what is like, my penis is what is my buy? What does everything look like a rolling? Right, but they are on and they're playing to the Monitor and the best part is is like one of the cameras actually projects into the living room. So like if you're sitting in the living room, you can watch the video back gets up for a cup of water but Vanilla Ice in front of it.

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So it's such a bizarre experience cuz I think I think I don't know 99% of humans have never stood in front of a camera but naked know I was like, it was very like mirror-like, but it was like he it still felt like an image of me. Like I was very very strange. I didn't hate it. I hate it. We did the wheel just for recently where we where we drove around town.

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Which is dyspo wheel and you can either win a dollar or you could win a brand new Tesla and we had to test us to give away. It was a lot of fucking fun and we went to a bunch of influences houses. Natalie went how was it I spent the whole day today. Did you like it? Don't let him know that you hate yourself inside a very very long day. Like, you know any hard to talk to like a lot of people it's exhausting and if the wheel landed on a dollar we donated $1,000 to united we dream and we spawn like 27 x 27 different people respond.

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So we're donating $27,000. So united we dream is pretty cool. But Natalie on her story on her story actually put 28,000.

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Not a big deal at all. But like they would have been funnier if it was like I would like to see you. This book called me like yeah, I was twenty-seven spins, but now we put 28 on accidents or just have to pay these two thousand of the patients. I could you imagine if I can actually put like, you know, like 20 million we do it. So the way we do it is two people can win the cards, but we don't actually buy the car. So the cars we were driving around with the rentals and then when you win we order you the car that way it's in your name and and all that stuff easier if it's easier to transfer titles and stuff that way so the cars we had were rentals.

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So we rented these cars and then we had and I didn't know that we're doing this and Williams I swear to God I'm not know I do not know we rented to Tesla's the ones that like I like the configurations on and then Natalie and Taylor and Ella took them to get the cars rack.

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They took these cars that were other people's cars and they got him wrapped as we were rapping as being wrapped overnight to lime green cuz all the types of had to be lime green the guy texted us because it on the Tesla and he goes, hey my window in my trunk is open. Is there any reason is because every door has to be open when you're wrapping your car in the garage and then became the day where I announced that we're doing this giveaway and I showed off the Tesla has an delegates a call immediately and text and it's like it by any chance is my Tesla wrapped in lime green right now.

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She goes. Yes, and he goes, can you please keep it on the biggest fan and I got on the phone with this is what we do your car will be totally fine. Like I was like, I don't care if you want to give it away. I'll buy another one give mine away. I would like I'd love to be a part of this. He was so fucking so he's like, he's like at the lease at the very least can.

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Just keep it rap for me. When you give it back. When we do it back. Then he just took it back alive green, but that was so funny that this guy found out that is Tesla was wrapped me when I saw your insta story. I put all the dots together and I was like, holy ship my car strap green-eyed about the other car just returned. But then Natalie and they decided to keep going to go to other peoples houses that we had like a whole route planned out for the entire day and the entire morning like we had somebody spends.

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Nobody was winning when they probably shouldn't win but the problem cuz nobody winning but the entire morning no one was winning and then they had the two winners, but they had to go to another house right after cuz I already promised any people all day. I was like and we are behind cuz obviously the big set up a production and I was just I felt so bad. I was like we have to go that they probably won't win the test was you know, whatever and so we went and they ended up winning like.

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First I was like Alan Ali really excited about the two tassels or 1 and then I got a call in like an hour later.

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Do we have to do for now? So we have to we have to buy an additional two, but it's great cuz like everyone that one like is either like they really need their car or they're getting it till like a family member that like, okay Japanese a car. So it wasn't nobody wanted that was like a fucking millionaire and you know, I mean with the tools they need to bring their creative ideas to life on Squarespace is all one platform. You can build a website claim a domain so I might and market a brand their products combined award-winning design and world-class engineering make it easier than ever to establishing on your online presence from beautiful tablets to powerful e-commerce tools to help customers launcher ideas into the world to build their brand Christmas tools are DIY and nature technaglass repeat.

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I know you two are always thinking about creating websites. Always why the hell are you not using Squarespace?.

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Facts about your types of guitars and how they interact with your content with your in-depth website analytics tools. Use Squarespace is marketing tools Integrations to help Drive traffic to your site or grow your brand when you create a website with Squarespace, you get free unlimited hosting top-of-the-line security and dependable resources to help you succeed nothing to patch or upgrade ever by the way and 24/7 award-winning customer support check out to use for free trial and when you're ready launch UCF record views to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain me to take talking about getting a cheap flight to Miami and it was about taking Spirit Airlines like Spirit Airlines is like a piece of the cheapest way to fly and all the comments are so fucking good like the tacos y'all tripping Sphere.

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Not even that bad. We just had to bring our own plane. Not that bad to watch. Miami wasn't even that far from where we track.

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You're not that bad. We all the type of trumpet the same time around.

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Ain't that bad for real? They even landed the plane in the street right by the hotel the reference in Madagascar?.

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Curious bad. We just haven't used our feet to stop the plane when it landed Spirit Airlines actually the safest to fly right now cuz they're the only ones with outdoor seating.

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Really good, bro. It's so great that everybody agrees. It's. It's like a fucking janky ass place to fly like the second. They should make a commercial with a plane just going down here like something like that's like that Burger King ad what happened to Burger King at Burger King. UK tweeted should stay in the kitchen or women belong in the kitchen and they were trying to say that most chefs are only 20% of the chefs are women. So they're saying we should hire more women women belong in the kitchen just that.

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Yeah, but was there an armed at the following tweet like.

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That's what I've heard. You talking to somebody yesterday intentional like put the pastor out of people cuz it's not the right thing to say no matter what this is funny, you know, I like, you know trying to be funny but it's also just like so wrong. I got a room for you ask the only two that UK. I feel like I feel like shit. So this is like, okay, but that's so crazy. If they did do it on purpose and then got all these bad articles written about them and then they were like, yep.

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That's exactly what you wanted. How about how about yours Burger queen mother fucker?.

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I have security out here. Now the other day I order Postmates and I don't know why this is so crazy. But like my security starts everyone at the door no matter who they are and they walk up to the door with them and he walked up with the Postmates guy and I open the door and the Postmates guy hand is literally fucking shaking and he goes, I'm sorry. I felt so bad. She look up his name and you did, you know, there's ways you can get tips over to go.

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Nobody probably has a phone number and I felt so bad. It's really fun, but the Securities work and you're not a threat like a picture of me and stuff.

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What is having hip surgery April 9th?.

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Why do you keep promoting my hip surgery like a light show?.

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After guys if I should wake up the surgery in about an hour and through ready to sign anything you want.

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Here like every day but you know she bad I don't have a bunch of guys out there the other day I said I said you get bored out here. I'm studying right now doing two things at once and I got you past security to go security. Are you fucking kidding me? And I only told me the story of the day that he learned from somewhere. So it's like Bots to the second degree. So like I think I'm going to mess it up. But Joe you can add on to it cuz they talked about on their podcast.

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Basically, there's this guy there is there they were on a ship and a big wave knocked over the ship and completely sunk the ship but it kind of landed upside down so like where you couldn't crawl out.

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There wasn't it cuz the the top of the ship was on the seafloor. So like all the doors were shot and all I care is like 11 crew members on the ship. They drowned except this one guy who at the moment the wave hit it was like 5 in the morning something. I'm he went to the bathroom and the bathroom. I created an air pocket in the ship and he got to stay there and he stayed there for a little over two days. He was in this air pocket and you just sat there and divers came the first day but they couldn't get down there that can stay there long enough.

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So then unlike the second or third day new divers came to recover the bodies and there's little footage of these divers in the fucking water like going through the Shipwreck and then all the sudden a fucking hand pops out and grabs one of the divers and they're just going his life and a fucking they pull. He said it for three days and he said he was only there for 12 hours, but he was he was just sitting there like for 3 days and then when he came up on the bottom of the sea, he had to stay in like an incubator.

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Thing for like 2 days to die because of being the pressure like in the water and everything like fucked with his like cells or something. I don't know what it was but like an insane story. That's why I can't get no idea. He said that I call you can hear was like all you would hear is like the ship hitting like you would hear the ship like in a creaking back and forth as waves were hitting it and you would hear like fish eating the remains of the rest of the passengers on the ship fucking him saved and this dude fucking survived talked me out back to the video of terrifying it was so scary.

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Did you see him like he's like on top of like shipwreck stuff and he just sitting there in complete darkness literally for three days because it's really scary and then he likes she likes suffered from survivor's guilt is like it's like why me?.

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Navair that was in there like he got away with that and then when he was when they pull them out of the rack like he had to come up and stages like it wasn't like he just popped up and he was like, I'm back. I don't know. How deep is ears. Would Pop I think if you don't fucking guys are probably doesn't precautions. You got to take you got to go and take another tank to like get you back to Earth to take me to take like a Sprite bottle and you like turn upside down right?

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And then like there's like a pocket of air does a cup of water when you were a kid.

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That's the same thing as he has experience with a Sprite bottle a 7th grade science class. I love chewing gum while chewing gums the bat who and I'd give you guys like chewing gum by any chance love it just said that invented the toothbrush and now they've done it again for chewing gum whip quip. It is a gum toothbrush. It's actually good for your oral health. It comes in a dispenser just like Pez like but like the candy Pez and it's cool slim and it's easy to carry literally anywhere quick can help prevent cavities and freshen breath, when shoot for 20 minutes after eating it sugar-free with zero calories in a long-lasting mint flavor.

[00:31:23]

That's pretty freaking sick. Leave this here to see it.

[00:31:29]

Uncle get it we have it we have to quit game and I'm getting worried we have the quip I actually have it right here sorry podcast listeners, but it's a video it literally pops out like a Pez. Oh my God, I'm freaking delicious. It's so good setting when you see somebody get it, right.

[00:31:48]

Because I've never gotten it right okay, J in my life. So tired in any if it's in your purse or pocket anywhere anywhere you can imagine if it is extra safe and hygienic in addition to Ogunquit also delivers fresh brush head floss and toothpaste refills every 3 months from $5 shipping is free so you can save money and skip the misery of in-store shopping spread good oral health habits and Joint over 5 million miles already is equipped get chewing for less than $2 per gun pack. And if you go to get quip.com views right now, you can get a free plastic dispenser with any refill plan.

[00:32:29]

That's a free dispenser at getquip.com reviews that spelled g e t i p. Com reviews refillable floss and more in the Oral Care aisle at your local Walmart quip the good habits company. What's your most simplest pleasure?.

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Play for me a cup of coffee in the morning incredible incredible.

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I I mean just recently.

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I'm down the people wanting more Jason in the go ahead and hang yourself. Well, you know I get up in the morning and it's black. Really, can you share? Can you read can you read something for what do you like it? Like a diary document everything on one of my friends and she was like we had such an amazing week last week so many awesome.

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You're having issues. Like I hope you're right. You're journaling. So that one day you like people can like relive like what you're going through cuz of our lives are so unique and so but it's my first entry was like eight pages. What does Natalie recently moved out of here and it was the first night when she was leaving and she was walking out the door and I was like, so you're going I was just sitting on the couch so crazy.

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When I left last night felt bad for you. It was really cute. But I did I walk back in till I say something to you and then.

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For me.

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Alone, it's so big that I don't know. If you want to be here alone. Then I'm going to take my pants off and going to podcast studio with my dick around. So I was like really started. I was like what the other time the sergeant all done literally right now. I'm so curious play some bad things, but I'm so curious George Arnold Drive here. I cannot believe all you're giving your Journal order David started it.

[00:36:04]

Like I've really gotten into the nitty-gritty and you know, what's crazy Matt her first first start a journal for therapeutic reasons for the same reasons that made me want to journal also pretended also prevented me from doing so anywhere here anyway, so it's hard to read your message to pee. Anyway here. I am and what better time to start than lillywood feels like has been the best week of my entire life. She goes I think this is me peeking. Hahaha. I started disposable camera after a year-and-a-half ago call dispo an additional disposable camera that is meant to restore Joy authenticity in to photo-taking sharing and social media.

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And I can say that for sure the majority of my favorite life occasions have been unintentional like falling in love with David when I first moved to a latch when I walked in and I saw him shirtless Fannie Mae Natalie Illustrated Swimsuit 2021. Although I agree that some of the other models are crazy and way uglier than me.

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Did I write the ending is really sweet Natalie the businesswoman creative and that was really fucking cool. That's pretty cool. But yeah this journal available worldwide and on Amazon. Congratulations on this my next guest.

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You think your journals will become more expensive cuz that was that was very like day wondering if you cash it will get any better sign up. So they won journalism. I'm saying I wonder if it would get Works pants at what do you mean more expensive? Like I don't know like she felt like she told the story on the podcast their first probably just like the origin story of the journal. You can just dive in till like 4 months.

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No blue coming to my house.

[00:39:23]

Like share this story, but are you guys ever had like I've had this is now you sound are you going to your mind? I'm sorry what just happened? I was thinking of something else and I just could not unless yours was about experimenting and finger in your butt hole in the top.

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Just like I remember when I was younger it started. I don't have Darrell your store here. But when I was younger, I put one of my fingers in my butthole to experiment I like how did how did I know? What were you saying? I didn't have much to it. So it's nice that I got yours continue on Finger by the way, and it was done at no. I didn't like it whenever and I only have one it was Halloween and I was your drinking whatever having a good time at a party and at the party we are like making out like on the side of the party which is like, so not me.

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I don't just like really make out with somebody in the middle of a room of people and I was like, okay like this is about to go down and I left the party with family like walk back.

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This person's house back till like campus or whatever to go into his door on this is a most interesting part for me. What did you say like, you want to go back to my place? I was just like I don't I don't know exactly what exactly happened like you couldn't get hard and stay hard or something and it happens to a lot of guys actually good like this isn't like a positive like situation or whatever and I remember like he like took his like penis and he was like as mean as and like I was like laying there in bed like this returning like I was asleep, but I wasn't and they took his penis and he likes it up and he like dropped it on my side.

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Oh my God. I think he just likes and times and if you like wanted me to like wake up instead of going like this to just dropped his dick on you.

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How to say I'm going to literally knocked out like as in like 3 hours on the guys I was at the whole time and I just snuck out and then I like didn't really talk to and it said XU in BIO the next how do you get when you were leaving? Did you drop your tit on him to say goodbye by Jason and waited for being here. It was a blast make sure to follow all the social medias go check out Natalie Natalie's entrepreneurial moves that she's making and we'll see you guys soon.

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My name is Jeff.

[00:43:01]

Keyshia start dating somebody yeah, you do. What do you mean? Why are you asking me like you had a choice?.