Valentine's Day is coming up and we all know how tough it is to shop for people sometimes, whether you're shopping for the love of your life yourself, maybe a special someone, it doesn't matter who you're shopping for. Macy's has great gifts for any budget. Who are you shopping for? Valentine's Day.
I'm going to be shopping for my new girlfriend. Oh, dude, they have fucking so many things under 25. New girlfriend. Yeah. Did you just ask me what her name is. Yeah. Her name is Kendall. Yeah. It's microphone.
You know what guys, if you need any gift ideas, just go to Macy's dotcom slash gift guide. It's amazing because not only, you know, you would assume that Macy's would just have like the cozy sweaters and vest and clothes.
But they have everything. They have pallets, they have wallets, they have chocolates, they have lipstick sets. They really genuinely have it all. They even have cashmere sweaters.
What's your take on buying yourself a Valentine's Day gift? I think you have to love yourself before you can love anybody else.
Well, I think more than anything else. Thanks, Oprah. Thank you. I'm David.
Head over to Macy's dotcom sized gift guide to find the perfect Valentine's Day gift this year with course.
Well, back to Views, the podcast where, Jason, this is our last podcast that won't be on video. That's right. If you imagine what Jason looks like, you haven't seen me yet. If you haven't seen this is your last day, you'll probably ever listen to the podcast, because when you are forewarned, everybody out there to be on video now.
So if you can't handle it because I'm too grotesque, maybe don't watch the video.
And don't worry, Jason can't wear any shorts during the podcast recording, so there will be no testicle slips. We have made that very clear. Let's start this fucking podcast is our last audio only baby roll the intro music.
A lot has changed since we last talked, you see like five minutes ago.
Yeah, well, I haven't told you this.
This news to see that Tesla invested one point. Let me get my numbers right. One point five billion dollars into Bitcoin. Oh yeah.
I saw Bitcoin went up to forty seven thousand one point five billion up.
Yeah. Went up that much. Yeah. Well I don't know. You followed that much. Jesus. Well it went up 47000 dollars to fund you know, it went up to forty seven oh oh it went up to two hundred and forty seven thousand dollars.
Well no no no.
Just water. Yeah. No it's fucking insane. I was watching, there was like now obviously a cryptocurrency in general is just fucking trending right now. Everybody's talking about dogecoin theory. The Bitcoin. I was watching this guy, his name is Ryan Sahan. He's he's like a like a real estate guy. And it was like he was on this show and on the show, someone offered him 50000 Bitcoin to buy a thirteen million dollar house. And this is a little bit ago.
So he kind of like, you know, left that like 50000 Bitcoin. I'm not going to I'm not going to let you buy the house for that much now that Bitcoin. Fifty thousand Bitcoin is worth one point eight billion dollars.
Oh, my God. One point eight billion dollars.
That's how much the guy was going to offer for the house for thirteen million. Yeah, but at the time probably. I know, but it's just like crazy.
Do you know anyone that's ever used bitcoin or purchasing. They want to know is that guy who bought like two pizzas with like a thousand bitcoin and now it's like worth like apparently is a guy who also I thought this was a joke until I read up on it.
There's a guy who lost his password and has like a couple hundred million in Bitcoin.
And you can't get into your thing if you don't have your password. Like, there's no way around the security things. If you don't know your security answers. That's it. That's it.
It's got no email verification you can do or no. The money's gone. That's it. That's fucking it's not as easy.
It's not like can you can you point out all the trains in these pictures or can you point to the red lights in these pictures?
Surprisingly, one hundred million dollars is more secure than that.
I just moved into a new house and I just I mean, it's about seven months ago, but we've been keeping a secret. It's really difficult.
We have a lot of the podcast stories that we had happened in the new house and like was like a lot like we cut out a story because I was like, yeah, now he was upstairs and like, I don't have it upstairs in my old house.
So we just had to fucking lose the story because we couldn't cut around the fact that she was not upstairs. But yeah, I just moved into my new house. Yeah, I purchased it like six or seven months.
Your favorite thing about the new house with the water fountain?
I have a water fountain and it's like a school water fountain, but it shoots out.
It's not your favorite thing about the house. It I'll get you some fruit punch. That's like that's like a big it's a fruit punch. Waterfind, it's like something you'd find at a high school. It's fucking amazing. What I also love about this house is I really didn't get to show this on my house story, but I have a bed. My friend Kourtney Kardashian has a ginormous bed. And it's not a California king. It's it's like a custom size bed.
And I got her measurements and I exceeded those measurements. And now I have a bigger better than Kourtney Kardashian. And I've been trying this has been my serious goal and it is now sitting in my room. It's so fucking big. How what what are the dimensions or who ordered the bed?
It's like 12 feet by 12 feet or something.
It's like an emperor size, but it's called an emperor 12 feet by 12 feet, like fucking go in like. I went in my in my current and my old room at my old house, and I measured it. It doesn't even fit in my room. That's how big it is. And yeah, I slept on it for the first, like two nights, like, officially, and it doesn't feel good.
It wasn't a good idea, but because it's like I laid on it, it was great. It's comfortable. Yeah.
But like the problem with it is I'm going to sound like an idiot but like it's so big that you feel like you're just sleeping on the floor because like you're no longer there's no longer the illusion of like being on a bed and being on a raised platform.
It just feels like one big bed. And I know I'm like, your bed is low to the ground.
Maybe that's the problem. But not only that, but like let's say I want to get water. I have to this is like like the stupidest thing. This is like first world problems.
Like when I have to get why I got the bed, because I. The very first one. Oh yeah. Yeah.
I got the bed because I thought it was funny and like I love people's reactions when they see it. And like I wanted to figure it out. And Kourtney, just to say I have a bigger button on Kourtney, no other reason. I don't think it's a practical bed at all. It's actually so inconvenient, but it's so worth the joke. So I'll never I'll never replace it. But it's like when I have to get water, like from my bedside table, it's not like it's not a turn away.
It's like you got to it's too full. 360 is on the bed.
I had to get up today. It's brutal. Come around the other side where Joe is editing like it took me three minutes. Yeah. I had Jason come on the other side of us and he really had to walk off one side of the bed, walk around and it was like everything you don't like.
Just give it to Jonah.
No, no, no. I do love I'm just complaining about it because I think it's funny to complain about a bed that's too big. But it's I mean, it's fucking it's the funnest, funnest, no fun thing.
Maybe we should get somebody in there. Oh, it'll be his girlfriend. Girlfriend.
Yeah. When you when you when you meet that special someone, do you think it's going to happen with this new house?
If it doesn't then you're fucking let's close. It better happen.
That's how I got to this house to find love. Really. Because I thought you got it to impress Natalie. You said yesterday. Yeah, but that that was that was partially a joke because I know she's not and you know she's not. She's in a relationship, obviously. And that's so cool.
Why are you getting so high? Just the coolest guy. Never want to do anything else. Would you want to go out with me with your favorite person to see in the house? Like I have my favorite person that I saw here. Would you see I saw Jack, our manager here.
Yeah, it makes me fucking laugh. I love seeing Jack because usually you're harried and, like, completely stressed out. Yeah. And not enjoying how nice the houses and Jack just roles. And he's like, well, I want to play pool.
So, Jason, we're moving up in the world. Jack. So lucky.
We're lucky to be able to do what we do. But our manager is so much more luckier that he found us.
Yes, but he's he is I really do like I'm having a great match.
I haven't dropped him. Have you ever thought about dropping Jack? No. Oh, no. It's definitely been moments for me.
Getting enough moments like you can't fucking yell at the dude because you'll be like, yo, like now I'm getting, like, better bramble's. But like before I wasn't getting any for quite some time now, remember that it was like it was like three, four months are like everybody around me was getting so many right. We were getting nothing. Yeah. And I was like, Jack, yo, what the fuck are you doing in your office bro.
Like I was just like you got to you got to fucking send me some Brandos and like Natalie talked to him and then every time, every time you like try to like yell at him or be stern with him, he let me just because my man, you know, because you know, I'm working on it.
So I like Jack just texted me the minute we sat down and and it said because we had a good day here today because David posted and I went, well, yeah. And and Jack said he said I asked David if he could have a hug and he said, fuck no. Was he literally did.
I was walking upstairs and Jack goes, Yo, come here, give me a hug. I yeah, I turn on the stairs. I was like, are you fucking crazy?
So you had a nice day to day things get well for you. Push the video and then he came over. Well, hold on. It was stressful as shit.
Well, yeah, it was. We uploaded the vlog and like the only thing I ever do really anything in my life is to make a fun video. And like, I bought this place because I thought it'd make a really fun video. And I was like for the last seven months, I was like thinking about like, well, cool things you can put in this house tour and make it fun. And then, yeah, I put a song on the montage and the song got copyrighted to where the copyright owners didn't allow the video to play in the United States.
I called you this morning, which is 60 percent of this morning.
I said that to you. I know. So I fucked up. So we had to pull the video down within the first five minutes and then we had to edit a new song. But I don't think fit as well as the initial one, but whatever it worked. So that was stressful. But but yeah, the video is up. People enjoy it. People are excited about the podcast video.
I'm sorry, we're in the studio right now.
Yeah, baby, I'm fucking stoked on that. A little bit more about this place. I first saw the new house like like a year and a half ago. It was being built. I brought Carly and Aaron. Here you were. You came here, too. You saw this house when it was being built. It was just fucking dirt, like it was dirt and a pool. And like it was just like. They're like, if you want to put an offer now, like whatever I was like, I didn't even think about it, we we're looking at like 40 places, like we're looking at so many different homes.
And then we came back like seven months later. Yeah. The house is finished. And I fucking had no idea that it was that same house because we've seen so many houses and. Yeah. Natalie, what happened.
And this is a to time and it was like, no, no, this is not the good place. I was like David, this is the one thing you asked for was having our other our old house on crack. And that's exactly what this is. It's like the same wood furnishings, same white, same style, beautiful view, all these things.
And he was like, no, man, are you crazy like that, is not it? I did not get that vibe at all. David, this is the one.
And then we went back inside to grow on him. What? You're wrong a lot. What do you mean? Talk to me. I always have like I have a switch. It's like, well, David's right. He's more successful than me. So I usually just just talk to you or defer to you. I don't think that you're around a lot. You're fucking wrong. No doubt. Listen, my house is is so. No, I love this house now.
It's grown on me, but like but like I needed convincing at first, like I really need.
And what was our initial budget when we were looking for houses like four, five, four to five million. That was our budget.
And then we fucking we saw this house and our real estate agent, our real estate is probably going like, I'll be honest with you, they're probably gonna want to sell for five to six million. And and I was like, oh my fuck.
I was like, I got I got so I got so fucking frustrated. I was like, I can't I can't do it.
I can't do it. And and then and then the offer came back. We're like, fuck it, we're going to put an offer for five million. And then the offer came back and they're like, sorry, we can't do it for that. And then my real estate is like, I think they want six. And I was like, OK. And then and then they said we offered them six million and they said no to that. And then we offer them seven million and they said no to that.
And then like a week later we saw this, we saw this house listed for twelve million dollars on on Zillow.
It was listed for twelve million dollars. And I was just fucking freaking out. I was like, fuck, that's my fuck. I was so invested in this house now, like I smell like a month and a half, like obsessing over this as like fuck to someone's to take it.
It's twelve million.
And I told my agent I was like, what do they want. And he's like, dude, I'm telling you they'll take it for nine.
And I was like, oh my fuck. So so I go to him and I go dead ass.
I am not going over nine million. That's it. And I don't think you understood what that meant. I was like, when I say that ass, that means I cannot spend any more money on it like that. Is it nine million. And he comes back and he's like dude, they really want twelve.
But but he told me, he told me if you sign right now he'll he'll sell for nine point five.
So then that's when I that's when I hit up. Jason, you're looking at me like this is the first time I'm telling you this.
I forgot a lot of them.
And then I tell Jason, well, you're telling me in a good way.
And then I'm like, I can't spend any more money already, dead ass. But nine five is fucking awfully close, like I'm almost there.
So I asked Illia, Joe and Jason to split the remainder of the money. So they paid for the rest of the house. Yes. So now Jason, Joe and Illia, like, they just met with a lawyer today to finish it all off their own part of the house because I refused because I said the word that ass and I cannot break that word. So now so now they pitched in and the lawyer is baffled.
What did the lawyer say? Oh, you you talk. You actually to talk.
I haven't talked to him, but I heard through Ilya that he is baffled as to why we want to do this. Dumbest thing for someone to do is just give someone money towards a house and not it doesn't really make much sense, but it's good for jokes and it's good for me to be able to say, hey, David, my kids are coming over. He's my back yard. Yeah. Like I own part of the house. Yeah. It's so funny.
Like like Joe has already claimed, like one corner of the house is 100 percent has its quality claimed right under the stairs so he can store anything, anything you Harry Potter clothes, anything he wants.
Under the stairs he can store which is a great how do you go from four to five million to nine and a half million. I don't think we understood what happened. Like where did you find the other five?
I think we were just taking advantage of a lot here.
I think you to talk to the listeners right now. It's good that David bought such an expensive house, which means he has to podcast, which means we're going to have good video podcast.
But I was worried about the most. I just didn't want to let go of my old house. And now, thankfully, Jason and Jeff are taking over the rent at my old house. Yes.
And they're going to sponsor. Yeah, they're going to turn it into like a studio and they're just going to be filming videos out of there, which is fucking sick. So I still get to keep my old house.
I'm a landlord now. Don't come to either house, but yeah. Oh yeah. Definitely don't come visit either houses. But but yeah, I think that's really sick. And the my, the other part I was worried about, I was like this is so much money I just spent on this house. But the guy who sold it to me, the guy who built this house, he came over like a week ago and he goes, oh, a week after we closed with you on the house, I got an offer for eleven million dollars in cash on the House floor.
And he goes, if you ever want to sell it, if you want to sell this today, I'll make you least a million dollars, I guarantee it, which is pretty fucking sick. So I'm pretty stoked about that and kicking themselves.
It also made a lot of good upgrades to this house. So it's already worth way more. Oh, speaking of kicking themselves, the fucking crazy thing is I did not know this. When you build when you buy a new build like this, a brand new house, no one stepped foot in it when you buy a new house.
They have they have to fix everything about the house for the next five fucking years. They sold it to me. They're not my I'm not renting. They sold me the house.
But they're like, if the if the chairs or if the stairs start chipping or like the lights go out because of whatever they did or like the doors aren't working, they have to come and fix that.
And that's fucking insane that I'd never build a fucking house. That's like what got that's what got me to buy the house because my real estate agent was like, yo, anything breaks. They got it for five years. I was like, that sounds so fucked up, but I'm down. So I'm out.
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It's crazy. When I came in here tonight for the third time today. Hey, I got pretty emotional.
You actually got emotional. I did. It's got emotional to like to come and to come and do this, like because we stop for so long.
My favorite part was editing the house to video. Yeah. And like just putting it together. It felt like a puzzle and like I loved like being under that stress and like trying to figure it out and like screaming like I was screaming, I was yelling.
I was like, when you lost the song I threw a bunch of stuff. Yeah. Is that the Beatles picture you have.
Yeah, I did the group, which was ironic because they were throwing pillows and. Yeah. Yeah. What I lost.
Yeah. When I lost the song earlier because it's copyrighted I fucking screamed and I, and I felt like, I mean I was really pissed because I love that song for that part of the montage. And I remember the housekeepers walking into the room with like all my clothes in the hamper and I remember just looking at her, she looked terrified.
I felt so bad because I because all all you heard me go as far as literally echoing throughout the whole house.
You could just your boss. Yeah. I was like, really? It was it was one thing that it was one really loud fucking vomit. I'm going to fucking vomit. And then they discovered a fucking prick.
My laptop have done so mad. Yeah. I was pissed. I fucking hate the guy. I don't get the copyright bullshit bro. If you're going to like like my goal when I post videos is to get copyrighted and they take all my money. Right. Fucking do that. Don't take my video down. Like why are you taking my video down.
Like it's just beneficial for the both of us for trying to protect their. Yeah. Their song.
But take my money. Just take my money. Right. Why do you have to, why do you have to think about it.
If someone took one of your videos and was like, here, take my money, you'd be like maybe not necessarily.
You want their money just right.
I could see like an artist, like pulling the songs off, like Nazi propaganda or like a video that's like you can like fucked up. Like I could see that. Right. But like pulling their songs off every video in all of existence. I just I can't wrap my head around because they had the option of monetizing it. Like, you'll just make money and more people will hear your music. I feel like that sounds like a win win to me.
Maybe I'm missing something completely.
It's really hard to be in this house and go back to any other house. Really? Yeah. Like when you called me and told me to come over, I get so excited to come here. I'm like, I'm like, oh my God. Like, it's so fun and it's the human condition is so funny because like once you get used to this and you're like, oh fuck. Like I'm sure when I go to your old place where I'm building the studio and be like, oh, it's like a place.
And that place is really nice.
Yeah, I love that place.
It said that today. Ali was like he's like, dude, he's like, I can't even be there anymore because this place is so nice. You get really the most hardcore Chicago accent.
Like he's like he's a fucking fireman.
Yeah. Yeah. That's on purpose by design. No but yeah. Yeah no this house is great. There's so many activities. I remember I met the neighbors, I met the neighbors like really early on. I met, I was so worried because I was like do they fucking like when we first bought the house an article popped up that I bought the house even though we made everybody sign NDAs.
Everybody was on a non-disclosure agreement by it under your name. We bought it on some random thing like.
Dumb. Oh, no, don't say that. Oh, is that actually right under. We bought it under a trust. What are you so successful regardless? We bought it under, like an open book regardless. We bought it under some trust and yeah.
And whatever I was saying, I was scared to meet the neighbors because there was an article posted like YouTube or David Dobek by his house. Yeah. In this area. And I just fuckin I knew it. I knew, like, what a bad luck that is. Are you to be moving into the neighborhood like everybody was really scared. And my neighbor came up to me that lived right under me and he's he's like this Russian guy.
And yeah, he was like we were worried a little bit. And then we watched your videos and we're really happy.
And his daughter was a fan. I was like, oh, my God. Think the fucking Lord.
Yeah. Like, I really got off scot-Free. And he was just like and I was like, you don't have to worry about us. I don't think I'm throwing any parties any time, any time soon. And and which is true. Like, I just really don't care for parties.
And he goes, come on, dude, you're 24 years old.
You have a house like this and you're telling me you're not going to party. Dude, I was I was a kid like you.
You got to enjoy this fucking and I'm like, OK, do you want me to wreak havoc above you? Like, that was really cool and like Bro and my other fucking Sandfire, he's like, yes, he's going to party tightly.
Marena, our house is a place. But the point is, can we come?
They come up and they bring alcohol. The other neighbors they had like this is like four or five months ago, I don't remember. But they had they like invited us over for, like, you know, to welcome us to the neighborhood. And they were so fucking incredibly sweet.
And they're like this couple that just like we love just hanging. Like it was like I thought I was there with Allah, right? Oh, yeah. With me. I told Al I was like I even said this out loud in front of them. I was like, I feel like we're about to get murdered. It was way too perfect. Yeah.
The way they were talking, like we walked in. Oh, my God, we walked in. It was like a beautiful home. And their daughter was having a piano lesson on this beautiful grand piano. Yeah. And she like looked up and she got off her and she waved to us. She said hello. Like she was really polite. And I was like, oh my God. Like we're like this is some like shit. We're like the neighbors are pretending to be nice, but they're really like serial killers and like, we're going to get fucking murdered.
I know it.
But no, they're so sweet. And they invited us.
They're like, we're going to Hawaii next week on the jet. If you guys would like to come, there's extra three seats and it's like fucking insanity. Like, these are these are the neighbors. Like, I think that's so crazy.
The invasion. Why? Yeah, it's insane. I was so happy. Where do they think they were going? To Mexico. They're going to Mexico. And then we're like, oh well, David can't go international. I like well we also have a ranch and this other place.
And we were like and I was like, David, can I go? I want to go on a private jet with the neighbors.
I mean, that's really cool. And then the rest of the neighbors are all lawyers, which I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
I don't know from lawyers sued.
But but no, but I think I think so far everybody everybody thought the one thing that happens, though, that pisses me off every time I drive up the street, I swear to God I'm going the speed limit. People give me the dirtiest fucking looks. I don't know what it is.
I can't drive any fucking slower when you're older like I am and you see a young kid in a nice car, you just get angry. You just even he's doing fifteen miles an hour. He's just like, fuck you.
I don't take it personally. That's what's stressing me out. I get that I got nominated for another Kid Choice Award.
Oh yeah. Right. Congratulations, Greg.
Which is that pay a lot of money. When you win you win 800 million dollars. Well, I couldn't even make up a number.
What is this best social I can't keep up with you. Favorite social science social stiehm do you do you vote online. Yeah.
I'll get why Charlie on you don't get any. Thank you. You don't get any, you don't get any money for winning arts which I always thought. Like if you won an Oscar Emmys then I cut you a check.
Would that make sense.
Like that's, that's the scam of award shows. Right. But it's just like crazy like like award shows have the biggest celebrities. Right. The biggest people attached to it. Even more so than like a football team, like one that's like a regular regular season game of the NFL. Like more people are watching the Oscars than a lot of things. That's crazy how the winner doesn't get like a five million dollar attack. Right. And they're making so much money off that award show.
You get it when you win, you can put an Academy Award winner, like on the DVD that that's where you get paid.
No, I talked to I actually asked somebody about this. I was I was on a shoot the other day, and they were they were friends with an Academy Award winner. We're talking about him specifically. And I was like, did the person get more jobs after? And he's like, no, actually, for the next year, he got very little jobs because people thought he was too expensive. So he won the Academy Award and the next year he was getting paid a lot like next year.
No one would approach him for jobs because I just thought his rate was through the roof, which is so. So I guess it's a double edged sword. I see that, too. Like your next project, if you want to win the Academy Award, like, it's got to be great. Yeah. Next thing that you do, that's what sucks about to do public. That's what. Talks about acting over like anything is like is like you can, you know, YouTube, you can make a video, it sucks, whatever, the next day you make another one.
But like with fucking with acting, it's like you make you spend four months on a movie, fucking tanks. Not only can you not make another one for maybe a couple of months or a couple of weeks, but you have to start promoting that movie that tanked for the next four weeks because there's like a fucking PR schedule. So, like, your movie can be complete ass and you could know it, but you're in fucking Hong Kong talking to 30000 people and you're going, this is the best movie ever.
You better watch it. Like, that's how fucking that's how crazy the movie industry is.
You didn't know? No. I'm looking at the studio like I'm feeling. I'm sorry. I'm like a little like I'm a little insulted today. This is just crazy to be here.
Speaking of the new house is the last thing I said about this before we got security, before you moved in. This is like maybe like four or five months ago. This is a while ago. There was no furniture here. We were just like checking out. We were like checking out the house, this house.
And we were like, making sure everything works. We're doing the run-Through. But I've already owned it for like a month.
We were like building stuff, I think really putting the basketball court or something. Yeah, we were building stuff and I was sitting on one of the only couches we had. And a guy walks in straight into this house.
The new house walks right into the house with a bag of Chipotle and he looks me dead in the eye and he goes, Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you're going to be at this house.
That's what he said. Yeah, makes no sense.
Yeah. Like you say, I wouldn't have come if I knew you're going to be here. I'd want to disturb you. It made no sense. I didn't think it was in yet. What the fuck does that mean? Like, if I was if I was at the old house, you'd come have dinner here in the backyard. What the fuck does that mean?
That was insane. And yeah, we're just like, get the fuck out is the craziest thing. Walked right in, like right into the living room.
I mean, you had to literally leave the old place. The place made you leave.
Well, they didn't make us, but they were like they respectfully asked us, they're like, you should go. And we were like, yes, we'll leave. But but yeah.
Now it's now we're here. Jay, there's there's a thousand reasons why protecting your home matters to you, especially to me and I fucking I stand by these guys. These guys are the best ring. Ring is so good, their security products for every corner of your home inside and out.
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Really funny. You know, I showed up at Zane's house, wants to, like, shoot there and then, like, we were like sneaking like we didn't, you know, and then he just showed up on the ring. He's like, what the fuck are you guys doing?
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I came home from your house the other day and Charlie was on my deck with her aerial hammock. She has an arrow out there and there's a really bad what happened in aerial hammock fucking no one knows what this is like an Israel. Is it ever. McInerney don't you Akino. You know, I don't know what you need to know. I feel like we're all from different countries.
Oh. Like a boogie boogie. No it's like it's a silver thing and you hang, you hang for it has like Klaw on it and you could do like Cirque de Soleil moves on it. Oh like like a circus thing drop.
Oh OK. So a hammock. Well it is like a rope is an aerial hammack it's a hammock. You can sit there just as you do aerial aerial acrobatics, acrobatic acrobatics, stuff like that, turning your children into clowns. You're going to think you're going to make a circus runway circus show just so, just so they can see the bill.
Why does it need stilts? Yeah. Is this what you meant by he's going to be in a bad row?
I could see you doing that with your family like Marty wasn't around. Yeah, I think it's very well, your ex-wife wasn't around to keep things in check. I think it would be alternatives.
We definitely would have like busked by now, like gone down to the subway and like tried to sing as a family that everybody would never allow that.
Or it's like doing jokes. Yeah, like you guys like from like two to three. You're doing stand up comedy. Yeah. I mean from three to four you're eating like a Subway sandwich and why it's playing the violin. Yeah.
That would be like so ideal. But then I want nothing to do with me. But, but I came home you know, because they're older now. I came home and there was a terrible smell of gas on the deck like bad. And I got really scared because she was out there and I was like, don't let it match. Don't do anything, Bubba. So I called my neighbor Roger over and he comes over my Roger.
I think there's a gas leak and he comes over and he's like, he's definitely definitely you've got to call the gas company. You got to you got to call the gas company. He's like, this is a hazard to say, OK, I call a gas company. I wait three hours. The guy comes and I go outside. It's gone, completely gone. He takes the reader. He reads the whole house. Nothing, absolutely nothing. I'm like, we smelt it, you know?
And he's like, well, there's nothing here now. I don't know what to say.
And he left. And as soon as he left, he was like, I, I farted out there.
No, no, no. She was like I was farting out there.
And you're fucking kidding.
I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I smell like bunnies, literally. Roger and I are out there just literally going to smell it. Roger, he's like, oh, yeah, you bring your neighbor or sniff in your daughter park.
Yeah, well, you have time to go to his house, get Roger Padstow lingered.
It was still there. I don't know, I he came right over for you to Charlie also just fart like poop fart smell the same as gas like.
No I like it. It smelled like gas.
You poop fart that is the grossest or or whatever you. Well no it was right. There's proof and then there's natural gas. I just mean I just meant like I just when I wanted to make sure I was saying gas and cents a poop like.
Well you ever talk about farts on the show. It's probably a good thing. I also called my penis. That's why it's confusing. The stool was a nice word to say. Poop. Yeah, stool sample. I knew. I'm sorry.
I knew about it for like, yes, I really heard someone say, like, I heard it used in a commercial. They're like they can find this in your stool.
And I was like, that is so crazy that they find like a newer word to describe a more polite way of saying she's not that anyone. I don't think pretty old.
I think it's crazy that we all poop. Well, I know I do, but I can't imagine the four of you do. I don't. We do. You've never pooped.
Natalie takes the biggest shit.
I don't know why David is so fixated on the fact that I must take the most large and disgusting because, bro, we fucking shared a house and fucking Tony the plumber would have to remember how I said that.
Hey, David, I'm back again. You're the best customer. I got a little not really good named Tony. The Plumber. Yeah, it's fucking I think he made it up.
I know. I know. I think he I think it's a fake name. I don't think, Tony. I think it's just to remember now. Am I right?
I mean, I think it would have been an alias, Tony. Oh, you think his name is actually Tony. How would he make that up? It's just. Come on, Tony the plumber. Well, I asked him once and I think I was like, Tony, your real name. I mean I mean, like, pause for a minute.
And then he goes, I can get the fuck out of here, you know? But you fucking serious because I don't think Tony's your fucking real man.
Are you going to find out? Yeah. No, I understand tonality.
Like, what do you mean? You just know, Natalie, I just know that the shit's where you dog.
I just know you have a different pipeline that goes from your master bathroom in that house out to the street. And it was your pipeline, the biggest parking lot, because you are the fucking shit monster.
I don't know.
Tony's plumbing. This is Tony. This is David. Hey, Don, what's going on? You know, it's me, Tony. I Colorada, hear what happened. What's going on? You need me fucking now they go to the buffet.
I get what's going to get that Panda Express. Yeah, OK. Anyway, back to your daughter's. It looks cute baby.
I look, I don't I genuinely do not think that it is possible.
I don't know. Then why was there no gas reading. Because I think that just happens. Yeah.
Well maybe regardless I think if I'm being, if I, if I'm Charlie in the situation I think in about three I think your daughter's gonna remember this forever. Was she embarrassed when she told, you know, we were dying?
Laughing Oh, like so funny. Well, I think Roger and Arthur sniffing it. I think so. Sure. Remember this for a while. Yeah. And I think in like three or four years she'll be like, wait a minute. Like, there's no way that was my father. Like that was like like she maybe like she probably revealed something from my fucking story down the toilet. Go ahead. That's fine. No pun intended.
Go down the toilet. Do. That's right. You're the best cos that's pretty good.
Do you know how on the Super Bowl you can bet for random things like you can have like not only can you bet on who wins, but you can, you can bet on what the coin toss is going to land on or what color the Gatorade is going to be in the in the sports teams drink like it's like blue, purple, red or green. Yeah. And like you can bet money on and you can win seriously, like a lot of money.
One of the bets that it's a really famous one is will the national will the national anthem be over or under two minutes? And this year there are someone right outside of the of the stadium and they timed it when they were rehearsing the national anthem. So all these sports books had to take off that bat because the national anthem was over two minutes and he timed and he put it on tick tock and everyone saw, oh, wow. So like they could have bet on and it could have on which which got me thinking like so like for all these years because these bets have been happening on happening for years, like all these years, all the workers that are working and that are working the pregame for the for the Super Bowl got to listen to the national anthem ahead of time.
And they could just just make that bet. They could have made that bet so easily. Like, that's fucking crazy that these guys were like and like the people that fill up the Gatorade's, you know what I mean? Like, they can make the bat like they know what fucking color Gatorade it's going to be.
And they're like, is everyone that works like even the janitors at the Super Bowl making like millions of dollars off this thing because they're betting against it.
I thought the same thing. Yeah, like that. Sounds funny side person in there. Yeah. But I don't know, the next year you should get a job as, like a fucking pool boy or something. Something easy for an NFL team.
That and then you tell me what color the Gatorade is and we fucking bring it on home right now and we could make at least fifteen hundred bucks, something like that. And another story similar to the to the Super Bowl betting story is there's this guy who was streaking the field. And this is just a story I saw. I don't know how accurate it is, but he got caught and his name was yeary he streak this year. Did you see the video?
He was streaking like a pink like.
Oh, no, because I watched it on TV. But they cut away. They don't show that on TV, right? Oh, yeah. So he you know.
Yeah, yeah, yes. They don't want to they don't want to give any attention to this. He got caught streaking and his bail is like five hundred bucks. He was out the next day but apparently he bet 50000 dollars on there being a streaker during the Super Bowl. Oh my gosh. So he won like three hundred thousand dollars.
I mean, yeah, that's that's what I'm reading. I don't know how accurate this is, but like that's a thing you can bet on as well.
There would be a streaker and he just fucking did it and he paid that. This is what I like. Listen, my sources three Tic Tacs I saw I don't want to talk.
And then I followed up with two others and one of the posts was even, hey, I don't like to report on stuff like this. So it sounds pretty official to me. We were talking to like this a really big actress, Natalie. Now we're talking to her. And we were we had to come up with it. We were typing up a script to make like for like a funny tick tock that we were going to do with her. And it's supposed to be just like it's supposed to be jokey, but like the actresses like.
A really, really big, really famous actress and Natalie goes Natalie goes, well, one of the lines is going to reference a reference, the infamous line from her show, and she says infamous.
And and I got after the call, she says on the call because it's a very famous line from the show. Yeah. And she she says it's an infamous line.
I watch the show, by the way, like I'm also a fan. Oh, she loves the show.
But I got off the call and I was like, do you know what the word infamous means? And she's like, yeah, like very famous, you know, like Hitler.
And I didn't know. So it's really funny.
I just hear I am Illiad that today to Illia was we were in another meeting and he goes, he goes he was talking about our pizza for donnybrooks and he's like we want like our infamous pizza here.
And now he's like, fuck you guys got a boner.
All right, Jason, Valentine's is coming up. Oh, my God. I didn't get you anything. You're not supposed to you're supposed to get it for somebody you're sexually attracted to. Oh, OK. I'm going to get Natalie a stuffed animal. And that's weird because I'm in a relationship like that. I mean, I can't spoil you in shower you, Natalie, you can still be nice. Yeah.
I mean, sent out a text tonight. I'm going to say know I can. Come on. Don't forget about Valentine's Day.
I've been talking a lot about Valentine's Day. I'm like, so like what's happening?
Because last Valentine's Day is when he was why this annoyed me saying, man, oh my God, because it is so much pressure, like get a life like I got married Valentine's Day, Tomalis, Nataline on Valentine's Day, my hero to get married on.
It was it was great that you get you get two birds with one stone eagle two. Yeah. And you'll never forget kill two and then the marriage.
I mean, listen, if I'm shopping for shit fucking like where do you go.
Macy's. I think you just find everything.
Macy's. Great. I took Ermita, Macy's and my housecleaner. What's a good place to go. Valentine's Day shopping. Macy's doing Macy's. Macy's. Great bro. And it's not only because you can buy like clothes that you can buy fucking anything there. The place is fucking gnarly centered the Macy's. I swear to God I change his fucking life.
I think you mean he like kicked me up like a date night out because not only about outfits, not you get the fucking wireless speakers, you can get barware.
That's why you're so passionate about Macy's on the show about what's going on here. Is this it is your phone. It Adreno, you motherfuckers. Are you checking all the cash? Hey, did you sell something to Macy's? I mean, listen, don't get me wrong. Macy's is fucking incredible, dude. It's so good because you get 35 to 60 percent off now through February 14th. There's so many amazing diamonds, pegylated again and sixty percent off.
Yeah, it's 35 to sixty five percent off a little bit.
Debro, like I just always has like really great sales. I'm telling you, you fucking go this one stop shop bro for loved ones, for fucking not loved ones you would buy it. You can buy stuff for anybody there literally.
I like going in there and buying stuff that's like too young for me to wear. I like going out there and you like wasting your money like diesel jeans. And my kids are like, you shouldn't wear those. Yeah.
Macy's, I'm telling you, everything is you know, the best part about it is, though, that you can you can try they're lightning fast, same day delivery, power by door dash and it's available in Macy's on door dash, bro.
I'm just I don't kill the messenger. That's actually pretty crazy. I it is pretty crazy.
The whole thing is insane. That's cool. And there's a silver pendant now for only 29, 99, this limit one per customer while supplies last.
I mean, I'm telling you, listen, it's all over at Macy's dotcom slashed gift guide. You can find the perfect Valentine's Day gift this year. I want to give a shout out to us real quick because like we incorporated that brand it really nicely.
I think for a second we lost you know, the FTC may even come after us because because I think at this point, I don't even think people think we got paid for that one. But yeah, we Phuket's knocked that bitch in. We got word, no hashtag ad. We made it part of our fucking life story. Yeah. Because Macy's is that great. I grew up with a girl named Macy. You know. You did.
No, but I'll fucking go back and that's how far I'll go to get my point under the. See this girl you grew up with, does she have any other 25 dollar ideas? Yeah. Four hundred twenty five dollars. Macy would say you can buy a lipstick, set a footbath, cozy sweater vest and hoodies, wireless speakers. It's all fucking there. Jay, listen, go to Macy's dotcom sized gift card and you'll find the perfect Valentine's Day gift, I swear.
Have you podcast listeners, real quick, I got to fill you in on something. Natalie's not here right now, but we're about to surprise her with Halsy. I'm going to do a bit where she's going to close her eyes. This is for the podcast. And I'm going to and I'm going to have Jason and Nadia close their eyes while Halsy sits right next to them. And I'm going to ask them questions, and then I'm going to have Halsy reveal herself.
And I hope Natalie gets a little excited. Keep your eyes closed, do not open while your eyes are closed. I want to go around the room. Jason, what are your goals for this year? Feed my kids and pay all my back taxes. That's pretty good. Yeah, I don't know. Natalie, what do you have?
I want to move into my new house and keep prospering my career.
I don't know. That's pretty good. Halsy, what about you? I want to be so crazy. Oh, my God. I'm so nervous right now. I knew my baby's heartbeat was back in. The baby's heart was beating. I was like, you're scared, too. Oh, my God. Wait. OK, now everything makes sense. What happened today? That's how we got over. Does it? Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm such an idiot all the time.
Oh my God. I don't know how I take you.
I'm like literally I put my heart in your purse. Easy. Hi. OK, I'm so glad this is over.
You're right. And you're like, I'm so nervous. And I was like, why does he never do this? Yeah, I really I just heard you being like, I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. You nervous? Oh yeah. Me. OK, I'm for this part of it. I was like, no, I'm nervous. Oh yes.
We were in here. We were trying to not blow this. And Jojo was like, Natalie, you're sitting right here. And he goes like, OK, so when Halsy comes in and he looks right at Natalie, now, you're still on your phone. And I just I showed him my laptop and on my laptop I typed out, you're a fucking idiot.
Just like five minutes ago, I was singing all your songs right next to Natalie. Yeah.
That's what happens when you have, like, somebody coming. Oh, yeah. Start singing stuff.
I do that with other musicians. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Around them. And I'm mixing in their music. I'm like, that's not cool.
Don't do that. Yeah. Yeah. We hung out with Benny wants Benny Blanco in the entire car ride home. It was all we listen to in the car, you know, Benny Bongo and I'm probably going to be on a Housatonic for the next two months.
I so I'm a lifelong Halsy gigs. Yeah, that that. Real quick. Yeah. How long have you been? A very long time.
I don't think I'm surprised. I'm surprised you can communicate with you right now because the way she talks about you is insane. You're totally blowing her cover. I know what I'm saying. Oh I think I'm really cool. You're like, she's like she's trying to be like, oh no.
She you have some posters up. And I remember when you fall I remember when you followed her back, she didn't know that you followed her back on Instagram.
No. Oh my God. And I told her and it was the craziest reaction ever.
It was like, shut the fuck up. Well, I saw that you had reposted me on your stories. I was, like, freaking out about that already. I didn't even go to look at, like, the following thing. I was like, she just followed you.
And I was like, wow, she's actually here because she wants to she wants to tell you something real quick. I want to ask you something.
Well, OK. Well, I have to ask permission. I feel like you're just offering her up.
You're right. You're right. Think she's going to say yes, I already signed her up. She's got this. I need consent. I want to know if you've seen a commercial I'm shooting this weekend.
Oh, my God. Cooper can be really funny.
It's a really funny commercial. We're recreating the phone call from Mean Girls, and it's you, me, Quinn and Rico Nasty. And it's going to be really funny. And the whole point of the commercial is like me calling you guys to do the commercial, but I'm like, ridiculous. So I'm like, do you know how to do a back flip by any chance? Like, it's like you're calling all the other girls, like on the other line you're like, hey, he's like really intense.
You already say yes to this. Like, can we back out at the end? You guys are like, we can't do it.
OK, we'll definitely be there so long as well. Yeah. Hey, listen, you can show up if you were pink, you know, down since you got Nalley that gift, I wanted to get you something. I don't know what to get a celebrity baby.
So we went to Tiffany and Co. and we got this.
Oh, my little bear should be serious. Yeah. This is so cool. Oh hell yeah. OK, cool. This is the first gift I've got. Really. Yeah. Wow. That's worth something. I don't have any friends.
You come by any time I'm sure. Natalie. Yeah. Hey when you leave Natalie is going to scream. Just do it now because she's going to the rest of the day she'll spend texting her friends. I'm actually like this is crazy. I haven't gotten a gift from anyone yet. This is my first gift I've ever got. That's why I'm going to tell the baby that I'm going to be like for the first gift you ever got was from David Doba.
And the baby will be like, Yeah, who's that? OK, you guys, Hosea's left. Natalie is back. She's decompressing from this moment. Now, let's get real for a second here.
Isn't that funny? And crazy that like that you're in a Halsy commercial, like think about it. Think about it. No, I know it's like it's insane. And it's not only insane because, like, you're in it, but like you're like you're not like the front of the camera person. Right. So, like, this is really random for that to happen. Yeah.
Like you're just like the more more believable if I got it. Yeah. Like if Jason got a hurricane for something that makes sense. But you like you initially you came here to answer emails like that.
I really didn't want the job if I remember. Yeah. You can count on me to talk you into it.
Like I said, I could pull you aside and now you're into your most favorite artists fucking commercial that's been in the same emails. And tell her I'm going to email, ask me, hey, you know, Natalie didn't actually want the job.
You would have never known about her. It's kind of a snob about it, actually.
I know it's fucking insane. It's really, really crazy. Well, we're happy.
Thank you, Halsy, for coming on. Thank you for doing that. Please come over whenever you want. I'll be amazing.
I asked her off camera, I said, because in the in the East Side video, there's a little story that goes along with it and it says, you know, Ashley worked at the DMV. Oh, yeah. So I didn't know if that was true or not or if that was they just put it in. So I asked her, I said, hey, did you hear me? And she's like, oh yeah.
Like they're like, wow, I can't believe you didn't ask her this. But like, do you imagine working at the DMV do hard?
That must be that we got to ask for this job ever.
Yeah, bro, we got to ask you next time you have her back, just just just for that quick, Halsy, on the DMV or whatever YouTube videos, I love what the second she's not talking about the DMV.
We cut the show. Yeah. The second it goes into any other type of road, we're not I mean, you know, when you go to the DMV, it's like everybody's pissed.
You know, everybody is uses people working our path to. Oh, they're.
Oh, yeah. I've been working opposite older people. They're pissed. They're the younger people. It's forget it. Yeah. It's it's worth it. But she she had such a sunshiny oh my God, she's the best analogy. You're so easy to talk to. She was probably great. Yeah. Can't believe she picked Nathalie over me. I we should pick me.
Hi guys. It's all the time after today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Guys, go check out the Views podcast now available on a video.
If you listen to this podcast, but you want to see the surprise with Halsy, you'll be able to see it on The View's podcast. How it's YouTube Blackcomb for you. Go check it out and we'll see you guys later. My name is Jeff by.