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From NPR and WDM Chicago, this is Wait, wait, don't tell me the NPR News quiz. Need someone to put lotion on your back. Let me be your Kobana Bill. I'm Bill Kurtis and here is your host who managed to fit his new standup paddleboard into his bathtub. Peter Sagal.

[00:00:27]

Thank you, Bill. We took last week off to relax and try to get over everything that's happened this year.

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But one week did not do the trick. So once again, we're trying to slow down our heart rates by listening to highlights from past shows.

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It's like meditation, but with poop jokes.

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Let's start with an interview we did with actor Will Arnett back at the end of February, right before everything shut down. Now, the strange noises you hear in the background are what we used to call laughter and applause. Will Arnett, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

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Oh, thank you. Thank you. Such a pleasure to talk to you.

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I cannot count all the things that you've done that I have so much loved going back to 30 Rock and a lot of other things, but let me ask you, do you think that my characterization of your typical role was correct, that you tend to play people who are not that pleasant?

[00:01:14]

Well, yeah, you know, it's a lot better than than some people describe it is that I play a holes and I. I tend to see them as just broken people. I find characters who are a quite stupid and be quite confident to be really funny to me. And then if they have somebody that usually I like, I like to think that they have some underlying major sort of psychosis happening, something that's driving them to be this way. That's that's how I kind of justify it.

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Right.

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So, yeah, they're they're mean and sometimes abusive to the people around them, but they're they're hurting inside you.

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Yeah. Yeah. To hell with that anyway. Yeah.

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I once read that you didn't intend to end up in comedy as much as you have, that you were going to be a serious actor.

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Yeah, I that was that was my hope that I would end up as a singer. I wanted people to take me really seriously. And anyway, that did happen. But it's still to this day. But, you know, it's fine.

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It's fine. You just finished season six of BoJack, which is about a washed up Hollywood actor who's also a horse.

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When you first got this script, were you at all did you have to be convinced or did you love it right away?

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You know, it was one of those. I remember when I was first said to me they didn't really say anything. They just said, read this really funny script. And the first page I remember thinking, what? And then but then it was so funny. You know, we we made this it was such a it was undeniably funny and great. And of course, as you remember, that first season, especially the first episode, wasn't as heavy.

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But you could see that there were kind of undertones there of something else going on, this guy who had a lot of self-loathing, et cetera, et cetera. And I'm like, oh, yeah, this is my kind of guy. I just thought, this is terrific.

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Yeah, it was really. And it's been quite a journey because this very broad comedy, as you say, ended up being this very dark and sometimes very serious and moving exploration of like, this guy's serious problems. Yeah. Which is weird because he's still a horse.

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Yes.

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I always say I always say it's for considering that it's that that he's a horse. It's one of the most human stories I've been a part of.

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It is it is kind of weird. Are you going to miss BoJack now that you're done with them?

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Yes and no in that. Yes, it was it's been such a great thing to be a part of. No. In the sense that, you know, it's quite heavy and kind of often quite depressing. Yes, it is the most depressing cartoon ever made.

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I might well be. Well, he wanted people to take you seriously, so. I know. Well, I got it. And then, yeah, many times we finished recording and I'd look through the crust, you know, through the glass at Ralph Albar Blacksburg. And I'd say, you are going to pay for all my therapy.

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This might be the show was your therapy. Oh. I want to ask you about a couple more things I discovered just this week, something that I should have figured out because I've seen them dozens and dozens of times that I'm a Taurus.

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Yeah, yeah. No, well, we did have that kind of strange connection. I know that you are the voice of GMC trucks. Yes. And I don't think I recognized it because in those ads, you're so sincere about how great a truck it is when I would expect you to say something like 40000 dollars for a pickup.

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Come on.

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I mean, that's what I'd expect. Yeah. Peter, let me first of all, say that they are great trucks.

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I know. I mean, they're professional grade. Yeah, I've heard that, I've heard that.

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Hey, Will, this is Luke Burbank. I'm a huge fan. I'm just wondering, like, if I were to see you on the street, I would I would have to really stifle the urge to come up and sort of like, yell some Joe Bluth line at you. Is there is there a particular line from that show that you are OK with people saying to you and one you like less? I just want to know what to do when I meet you.

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Well, first of all, I implore you not to frighten me, but I do get a lot of people coming up and yelling things at me. I get people coming up and they'll say, come on, of course, I'll have people either asked me to do the chicken dance or do the chicken dance themselves. But I have people come up to me and look at me and kind of take a look at me and then just go, Michael.

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Well, we'll Arnett, it is an absolute joy to talk to you. We could do it all day. But we've asked you here to play a game we're calling BoJack Meat Boat Jack.

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So as we've established, you've played a BoJack Horseman, which made us wonder, what do you know about boat jacks?

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That is people named Jack who hang around boats to answer two out of three questions about boat Jack. You'll win our prize for one of our listeners, Bill. Who was Will Arnett playing for? Tom Marino of New York City. All right. Ready to do this?

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I sure am. Boy, that's a great announcer voice. I love the way Bill says that.

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He's an amazing, amazing, good guy. I like GMC trucks. Hey, hey, hey, hey, Bill, quit talking about the damage to be out of my gig. All right, here is your first question.

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Captain Jack Sparrow was the immensely popular hero of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, but Johnny Depp also played that character in another vehicle. What was it? A in a direct to video spinoff called Captain Jack will get you high tonight.

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B, he replaced the animatronic Jack Sparrow and the actual Pirates of the Caribbean ride, holding perfectly still until the boat came by.

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And then he freaked out the writers or c he appeared in commercials for the failed vegan dessert bars called Pirates of the Caribbean Eating.

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Oh, it's OK, I'm going to say be into it for very long, but I'm going to say you're right, that's what he did. You can find video. He did it back on twenty seventeen. There are Captain Jacks all over the ride.

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In a one point, one of them started waving and talking to the tourists, and it was, in fact, Johnny Depp. All right. Another famous boat, Jack, is Sailor Jack. He is the cartoon mascot on boxes of Cracker Jack. But he hasn't only pushed that classic snack. He also once tried to get people to eat.

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What a Cracker Jack, a poorly thought out version that was advertised as addictive as the real thing.

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B, Cracker Jack, a performance enhancing version of the snack, or C, Cracker Jackson Pollock's, which you eat after sprinkling them at random on the floor.

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Oh, man.

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I'm going to have to say I'm going to say b b again.

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You're right. Cracker Jack had caffeine, didn't do well. All right.

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Last question. Maybe the most famous boat, Jack, was the character Jack Dawson, played by Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic.

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Now, the cast of that movie endured a lot of hardships on the set, but maybe the worst was when what happened? A as practice for a pivotal scene.

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DiCaprio insisted on painting every member of the crew like one of his, quote, French girls being extra trying to impress James Cameron actually drowned himself to show his commitment or see the entire cast and crew was dosed with PCP, which somebody put into the chowder during a lunch on set, leading to, among many other things, a spontaneous conga line led down a hospital, Carter by the cinematographer who was as high as a kite.

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You know what I'm going to say? See, you're right. Right. Exactly what happened three in a row. Well, that's very good to this day. Nobody knows who spiked the chowder, but that is a true story.

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Wow, what a crazy.

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Bill, how did Will Arnett do on our quiz? He scored the trifecta. Congratulations, Will. Will Arnett is BoJack Horseman on Netflix's BoJack Horseman, the final season is out now on Netflix, Will Arnett. Thank you so much for joining us.

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An absolute joy to talk to. Thank you so much. Thank you, will see.

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Also from back in the Beauford Times of February, we challenged our panelists to conjure up a voice from the past, an even more distant past panelists this week.

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This is all for all of you.

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This week, British scientists recreated what a 3000 year old Egyptian mummies voice would have sounded like when he was alive.

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Now, before we play it for you, we're going to ask each of you to replicate the voice of a mummy. Whoever gets closest to the real thing gets a point.

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We'll start with Mars. Best mummy, OK.

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Oh, so good to be here in this pyramid. Very good. Good faith.

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Oh, my goodness. All right. What?

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And Josh, I got a thing on my nose because somebody scratch that for me.

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I can't lift my hands. All right. Very good. Very good.

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And now here is the actual sound is recreated of an Egyptian mummy in life and.

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Well, wait a minute, I know I was a little a little hard to take in all at once, let's hear it again and that's it.

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But I know there were Jewish.

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When we come back, Samantha Bee joins us from her pandemic hideout. And what do you do when things get too tense? Your Netflix and Bill?

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We'll be back in a minute with more. Wait, wait, don't tell me from NPR.

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Support for this podcast and the following message comes from simply safe home security, simply safe has everything you need to protect your home.

[00:11:51]

Professional monitoring keeps watch day and night ready to send police, fire or medical professionals. If there's an emergency, you can set it up yourself in under an hour. All of this starts at fifteen dollars a month. Get free shipping and a six day risk free trial at simply safe dotcom slash.

[00:12:09]

Wait. From NPR and Beezy, Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis and here's your host who's been trying and failing to teach his dogs to play beach volleyball. Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill.

[00:12:32]

Once again, we're remembering the way things used to be because it's much more fun than the way they are.

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One of the nice things about our current predicament is all the time we have to watch TV. Back in March, we ask our panelists to choose from our menu of shows.

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Panel, it's time for a new game that we call Netflix.

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And Bill, quarantining at home is boring, but you have your family and after about a half an hour of them, you have TV.

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We're going to tell each of you about two shows that could be your next binge, but only one of them is real.

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Guess it. You get a point. Are you ready to play? Yeah, of course. All right, here we go. Maz, which of these is a real show that you can find on Netflix?

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Is it a a placeholder show Netflix accidentally left up featuring a man making popping sounds with his mouth called the example show, or B, the streaming service footage of flowing rivers, waterfalls and broken pipes designed to help older men pee.

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I'm going with a streaming service. No, you're wrong. That would be wonderful. I could use that some days, but the answer is the example show. You can find it. Just Google, Netflix, the example show. You will find it. It features such riveting scenes as a man making popping sounds with his mouth. And if you turn on the subtitles, it just says there's no crying in baseball the whole time.

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Peter, as someone who lives in L.A. and has pitch shows to Netflix and had them pass on my shows, you have this very salty. I feel very bad.

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You should only have had gone in and made popping sounds. That's not good. I love that, Paula. Also a Netflix.

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While there's no Monday Night Football right now, you can stream which of these is it, a Monday night foot in which foot models compete in categories such as shapelessness, tonal quality and Arche height or be an eight and a half hour knitting competition show called National Knitting Night.

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I'm going to go with National Knitting Night.

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You're right. It's actually national knitting night in Norway. They do love their knitting in Norway. Very good.

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Are you ready for some eyelets? A Sunday night knit all that beef.

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They gave that job to Hank Williams Jr.. All right, look, if you're Danish, I guess, Luke, if you're looking for horror, which of these is a real thing you can find on Amazon?

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A curated collection of educational programming called driver's ed to scare films or be scare BMB, which is just footage of the worst places available on Airbnb.

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I would watch both of those shows on Airbnb.

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No, it was actually the curated collection of driver's ed films. This collection, Airbnb would be a way better show.

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Well, hey, man, was that your next project? There you go. I've got I'm going to pitch it on Monday.

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Here are some other questions we posed to our panel, Jesse, it's been four months in lockdown in clothing companies are adjusting to the new reality.

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How? They're selling more sweatpants. No, actually, I read once, I don't know if this is true, but they're selling far fewer pants than they used to because who needs pants?

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I mean, guys, I'm perky picking it over here. Donald Duck. It's a duck in have a hit.

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You can have a hit. Well, you know.

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Gosh, well, I guess this is the sort of thing that happens after you eat a candy bar a day for four months.

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I guess they're selling bigger sizes. Yes. They have decided they must make bigger clothes. Thank you. To dress post pandemic America. Clothing companies are adjusting their sizes.

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What was once a medium is now really a large large is now extra large and so on. Also a special size for people who didn't think they'd gain weight during the pandemic.

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That's ZL LOL.

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According to the Chicago Tribune, many brick and mortar clothing stores are reporting that as they reopen, customers are coming in having no idea what size they are anymore. Well, my measurements are 34, covid-19, 36.

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I'm so excited by this news. Welcome to Obesity America. I'm so happy to see you even fatter. America gets more days. I go on, I say right about this.

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Helen a Komodo dragon at the Chattanooga Zoo has become famous after she gave birth to three hatchlings without, what, a male, right?

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Exactly right. She did it all on her own. Oh. Zookeepers were thrilled and surprised when the female lizard became a mother of dragons.

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Hmm. She did it without a baby daddy.

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It's exciting for a number of reasons. Finally, we know lady lizards can really have it all without a man. And we know that onto us. Lizard Jesus was born to this day.

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I was going to say it was the Holy Spirit.

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It really was. Oh, I bet there's a little gecko somewhere with a big smile on his face. None of its friends believe in the female lizard. The female lizard had shared an enclosure with a male lizard, but they never mated. Which is weird because that's the sort of behavior you'd expect from a bearded dragon.

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But so they definitely did it. Well, no, but here's the thing, Helen. So they did a DNA test and it came back and they're are totally not the male lizards offspring.

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Zoo staff suspect that the hatchlings were instead produced through a rare process of female only reproduction called parthenogenesis, causing a spike in women Googling How do I parthenogenesis?

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Now it's time for a very new segment that we're calling news for a younger demo.

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Here's a question that we specifically chose for our fans in middle school. Josh, an international group of scientists, has banded together to save an endangered species that primarily lives near the border of Bolivia and Peru. What is this species, middle schoolers?

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It's an it's an animal that's endangered, I guess. Is it an animal that farts?

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I was with him. They asked if you're getting their jobs, an animal that farts.

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I mean, I guess that's most of them. Sperm whale.

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Yeah, closer. All right. If nobody can guess, I will give it to you.

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They're trying to save the scrotum frog of Lake Titicaca.

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No, wait, the scrotum frog is from Lake Titicaca that's just piling on, like just it scrotum frog or Lake Titicaca, we didn't need a combo, but is it a bit like the scrotum frog is just named Scrotum, but its most prominent feature are its elbows.

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Or you could just call the scrotum frog to be mean. It's a nickname, the scrotum I got in middle school. They never shake it at the reunion.

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It's like, hey, I'm a tree frog and they're like screwed up dude scrotums. They're all like, I knew I shouldn't have come.

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I went to medical school. Dr Scrotum Frog.

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Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Our little show is but a minor player in a vast industry, the satirical industrial complex, and one of the titans in the business is Samantha Bee, former Daily Show star and now the host of her own show, Full Frontal.

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Like us, Sam has been doing her show from her home, so it was easy to find her there in May.

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I mean, how is she going to hide from us?

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And now the game where we ask interesting people about things they're probably not interested in. Samantha Bee was a breakout star on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and she then became the first woman to host a late night comedy show, Full Frontal, on TBS. She was also the first host to completely get rid of the time on her desk on the set, which was smart because now she hasn't had to move a desk out to the woods behind her house where she has been filming the show for the last two months.

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Samantha Bee, welcome to wait. Wait.

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Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. We're so excited to have you. And I know we've been trying to get you for a while. And I'm just thankful that something an incident happened where you had nowhere else to go so we couldn't get you.

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Well, then you're responsible for this whole cataclysm. You did this.

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We did it. How are you doing? How are you handling the quarantine?

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I mean, we are fine. I feel lucky to be working and lucky to be able to make the show in the forest.

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This is interesting because the other people on TV, your peers like Seth Meyers and Stephen Colbert, they're in their homes. You are doing your show outside.

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Is it woods behind your house?

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Is it it's the woods behind my house.

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And like, we really made the choice simply because we didn't have any lights and we were like, well, sunshine is a good it's the best natural light for us.

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So to be even more lo fi, we just decided that the light of day was actually the best lighting that we could get. And so it just was a very organic kind of function of us not knowing what we were doing and not having a lot of equipment.

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It also makes you the first late night host to ever have to worry about a rainbow. Absolutely. And it does. We definitely have to watch. We watch the weather scrupulously. We have our backup plan is terrible. It's we figure we could shoot in the gazebo in the backyard, but it's there because there's a creek that runs by.

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So we don't really have any plan B if there's bad weather, we just kind of tape earlier.

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Can I ask to do woodland creatures ever take part?

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Woodland creatures take part. We have bugs that go by overhead. Sometimes you can hear turkeys in the background there.

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Yeah, there's a lot of screeching wildlife and we've had a couple of episodes where we had like as the earth is quite moist and the gnats come out.

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So we've had a lot of that activity and it was like buzzing around my face. It's really amazing.

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I did love that little moment I saw where all these chipmunks came on and touched up your makeup.

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So is adorable of the ribbons in my hair.

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How have you been dealing with what I guess we've all been dealing with, which is going from having a nice audience that lets you know how well you're doing to not having that?

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I think it speaks to how familiar I am to not having reactions to the things that I say. But I feel perfectly fine. I feel that actually it's not a problem for me not to have an audience.

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It's more a problem that I deliver every joke into my husband's eyes because he's going the iPhone that we record the whole show on. It's basically just an iPhone eleven. And so if something doesn't land, it just really thuds.

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Are your kids helping out as well? Kids are helping out as well when they don't because of three school age kids. So they are all doing learning right now.

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So when they're finished, their lessons for the day, which they usually finish of around three o'clock, that's around the time that we like to shoot the show.

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And my eldest daughter is actually very good. We have this thing called a flex bill, which is just this little aluminum pan basically that goes under your chin and just like reflects some nice light into your face. And she's very good at holding the flexible. She really understands how beneficial it is to put a little bottom line on mommy's face.

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She has a real instinct for it. And I'm glad. But you can tell there are some episodes, actually, if you look closely, she's gotten bored of holding the flex bill and so the light just drops off my face. She's just doing what? She's just sat down on a stop.

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So you're married to another comedian and performer, Jason Jones. And I wonder, do you guys compete to be the funnier parent?

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Are Jason strives to be the funnier? I think I do. A better job of that is more natural for me.

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He's trying too hard all the time.

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No, you should have. You should have a system in place like the parent who gets fewer laughs has to clean up after dinner. That sounds very fair.

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That is so interesting approach.

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Have you have you and your family developed any quarantine rituals or new hobbies?

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Have you all taken up a craft together or had a like, oh, every Friday we're going to just have for dinner various things that people are doing.

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I'm so jealous of people who are productive during quarantine. We're working our way through television shows. Is that is that considered productive now? Absolutely.

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We're very dedicated to watching the show lost. So we're all that's the one thing that we're doing. That is the one thing that we're doing is gathering at the end of the day and watching all watching, lost together.

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The family that gets confused by lost together stays together. And I have I have to ask, how are you finding it doing comedy specifically news related comedy, current events coming at the current moment?

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Well, we've always tackled really difficult stuff on the show.

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So I think, you know, it's different kind of the context of being in the forest delivering tough material is a little more challenging.

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Yes. And I would say that we are making a genuine effort now to find joy wherever we can or to find points of lightness or to find things that are. Yeah.

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For example, have you heard about the murder hornets? They're hilarious.

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Yes. Do you know what could take on the murder Hornet. What a Samantha Bee or.

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Oh, next week's Cold Open right there. Well, Samantha Bee, it is a pleasure to finally talk to you. I'm sorry it took a national emergency to make it happen, but we did what we had to do.

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Now, Sambi, you are the host of FULL-FRONTAL, so we have invited you here to play a game that this time we're calling full battle.

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That's right. Full back. We're going to ask you three questions about but doubles.

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Those are the people who stand in for actors when a shot showing the posterior is required and the actor is either unwilling or unqualified to do it.

[00:27:03]

Answer two out of three questions about but doubles and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of their choice on your voicemail.

[00:27:09]

Let's do this. I'm ready.

[00:27:10]

Here we go. Bill, who is Samantha Bee playing for? Julio Salazar of Nashville, Tennessee. All right.

[00:27:17]

I don't want to disappoint you. I don't want to disappoint you.

[00:27:21]

OK, here's your first question. Famously, Dakota Johnson gave way to a butt double for her S.A.M. scenes in the movie Fifty Shades of Grey. It wasn't that she was shy, was it? A her mother, Melanie Griffith once told her, quote, Never show them your bank account or your moneymaker. Was it be the first time in only time actor Jamie Dornan spanked her? She reflexively leapt up and decked him or see too many but tatoos.

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I think it will see and you're right, Sam, it was Dakota Johnson has too many proud but tattoos, she says that that may have been a mistake.

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All right, Sam, here's your next question. Sandra Bullock needed a butt double in the film. Our brand is crisis. So filmmakers came up with a creative solution. What was it?

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A they used an extreme close up of to Cantaloupe's B, they used one cheek each from two different actors making the first composite asked in film history or C producer George Clooney got on set and did it himself.

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I think it's B, you think it's B, they used one cheek from two different actors making a composite ass.

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I'm just going to say that because I don't. That's just a guess. That's just a hard cold guess.

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I'm afraid it was George Clooney. But why was he just he just walked on set and dropped trou and it worked. Bullock said he was surprisingly non hairy and it did the job nicely.

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So he has a gender neutral, but exactly. Yeah.

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Here's your last question, Sam. How does Liam Neeson explain why he used a butt double for the movie A Million Ways to Die in the West? Was it a body doubles need to feed their families to be? My pants don't drop if I'm working for scale or C, I hate my Irish, but I think it's C, I hate my appearance.

[00:29:12]

You're exactly right. No, you're right, Sam. That's what it was. Oh, thank God. Bill, how did Samantha Bee do on our quiz?

[00:29:20]

Sam Bee knows her, but two out of three with a ring, a ding ding.

[00:29:28]

There you go. When we come back, Barry Sonnenfeld on making movies and Caramel Brown from Queer Eye on Making You Cry. We'll be back in a minute with more. Wait, wait, don't tell me from NPR. Support for this podcast and the following message come from the Walton Family Foundation, where opportunity takes root. More information is available at Walton Family Foundation. Doug.

[00:30:07]

From NPR and busy Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis and here's your host whose cabin fever is getting so bad the cabin might catch on fire. Peter Sagal.

[00:30:23]

Thank you, Bill. Nostalgia is usually fun, and these days it's a survival technique.

[00:30:29]

So we're looking back and some good times from the recent past Queer Eye as a show about how people can improve their looks and their dress and their cooking and their homes and also sometimes their soul.

[00:30:41]

That's the Department of Caramel Brown, a member of the Fab Five who joined us in March. I asked him what it meant exactly to be the show's culture expert.

[00:30:51]

Yeah, I don't know what it means. Yeah. You tell me what culture behave that. I mean, I know what the word culture means, but I know what it means in the sense of this show. Like, I understand grooming cook design culture. Don't know what to do with that. Right. So if you don't know what you were supposed to do with it, how did you get the job? I made it up. You just then.

[00:31:08]

Yeah, just made it up one day. Just woke up, was like, I'm just going to start making people cry. Let's figure that out. I was like, that was your goal. I knew, like, I have a background. I worked in social services for many years. I was a social worker. So I was like, I need to get to the core of what's happening. I was like, you know, there's some job security.

[00:31:25]

It's like this guy can make them laugh and I can make them cry. There's something that's going on there. So, you know, you actually have a sort of a pedigree in reality TV because you were, I'm told, the first openly gay person on real world.

[00:31:37]

Does that not, right? No, no, no, not the first. There were many, many, many, many, many gay before me standing on the shoulders of other gays, many gay, many gays. I don't know if you ever try to stand on the shoulders of gays. It's not an easy task, but it's been working for me. Oh, no. I was the first openly gay African-American. Oh, yeah. Okay.

[00:31:59]

Do you remember, like, the first time on Queer Eye that you decided I'm not going to care about, like, sending them to a show, I'm going to like, find out what their trauma is and bring them to catharsis.

[00:32:10]

Yeah. Episode one, the very first episode. Yeah, it was the very first episode of the guy named Tom Jackson, the first time shooting, the very first time working with someone. And I just was literally like, no, you're you're sitting in this room by yourself. I'm going to figure out why, because all this other stuff, we can change the external. But if I don't figure out what's going on the internal, then it's not going to work.

[00:32:33]

And I was so proud because he he had such a cathartic moment. And then I watched it back and they cut it all out. No, really? Oh, yeah. Because I wanted to they cut it off in season one, a little bit of season two, they cut out all of that stuff because that wasn't their vision for it. And so it's no shade, you know, there's no shade at all. But like, they would leave in, you know, me doing a, you know, photo album, you know, like and you see the person crying and you'd be like, wow, that photo album was really good.

[00:32:59]

But can I ask you if you had, let's say, like the Carano primary as part of the political season, are you confident that you could have gotten all the candidates to cry?

[00:33:14]

Yes.

[00:33:15]

Yeah. Which one do you think would be the hardest one or which one do you think would fold right away? Just start blubbering. Oh, Biden.

[00:33:21]

I've met before. Really? Yeah. Kind of like he's a crime. It takes nothing at all. I would just be like black people and he'd be like Stelco. Very, very simple. All right. Which one would have been getting, like, you know, blood from a stone? Which one would have would it have been hard to get to cry?

[00:33:43]

I probably think, like, I don't know, Bloomberg. Right. Bloomberg would probably be my choice. You it I mean, you can't become a billionaire without being a bit of a. So I think it would be hard to get booted jets to cry.

[00:33:55]

Oh no. But would be the easiest for me. Right. Yeah. All right guys. Imagine women and Bloomberg would probably be the hardest because women have sort of been taught in our culture to show weakness makes them difficult or something. So I think she would probably be in the sense of like I have to be strong. And Bloomberg, like I said, that whole bit. But Buddha said, are you kidding me?

[00:34:15]

How do you how would you make people cry or get in touch with his innermost feelings? I can't do it like the or attacked me on Twitter. Oh, what are you going to say? You seem really straight to not say anything right now, like, all right, I'm trying not to be careful to 2020, OK? Like you've been engaged for a while.

[00:34:37]

Yes, I am. My baby daddy and I are getting married in September. Oh, that's awesome.

[00:34:41]

And yet again, just imagining the kind of pressure to excel that are on all of you.

[00:34:48]

Do you have anything special planned for the wedding?

[00:34:50]

Oh, this wedding is ridiculous. It's actually my fiance to the hospital twice already because of anxiety attack. Why?

[00:35:00]

And I'm not saying this very proudly, but your wedding planning has actually put your fiancee in the. Hospital twice, twice. OK. Yeah, so so when so the thing was that, like, the first time when we when I put the deposit down for our Ferris wheels, he was. Hey, Allura wheels. Well, you have to. All right. Go on. I also so we went to a spot here in L.A. where you can get peacocks trained to kind of just show they're like bloom of their feathers at the same time.

[00:35:32]

And so I wanted like when I say I do peacock feathers to go up and that I wanted synchronized squawking. You wanted to to spread their tail feathers on like Vegas to I say I do.

[00:35:46]

And they go up and which is very possible to do because peacocks can be trained. But he just it gives him a lot of anxiety to speak. You know why I had to say Ferris wheels and peacocks. This is a very gay wedding.

[00:36:00]

Easy, honey. You have no idea. Just started in that. Can I ask a personal question?

[00:36:07]

I mean, if your fiancee doesn't make it because of the stress, will you still have the wedding?

[00:36:17]

The answer, yes. No, you can't get the deposit back on the train. Peacock's limo. You cannot. You cannot. So you can't say you miss the wonderful day. We wish you were here.

[00:36:30]

Well, Kurama Brown, it is really fun to talk to you, but we have invited you here to play a game we're calling yogurt.

[00:36:39]

So you're so you are ostensibly the culture expert on Queer Eye.

[00:36:49]

So we thought we'd ask you about another kind of culture, namely the bacteria culture that makes yogurt such a delicious, nutritious treat, answer two out of three questions about yogurt.

[00:37:00]

You'll win our prize for one of our listeners, Bill, who is Carano Brown playing a four fill the Minsky who won our smart speaker quiz.

[00:37:08]

You can be a winner to just say open the weight weight quiz. All right. Business done.

[00:37:13]

Here we go. Kurama, first question.

[00:37:15]

Yes, yogurt was introduced into Europe in the early 17th century. By whom was it?

[00:37:22]

A merchant in Prague who opened a shop whose name translates to the Hapsburg Empire's best yogurt.

[00:37:31]

Be a magician who advertised this amazing ability to eat spoiled milk with a spoon with no after effects.

[00:37:39]

Or C, the French king Francois, the first who sent to turkey for yogurt because he heard it could cure his chronic diarrhea.

[00:37:47]

I'm going with C, you're right. Yes, that's what happened. And it worked, so, yeah, but these days, everybody really loves Greek yogurt, the Greeks sometimes use Greek yogurt for the traditional practice of yogurt.

[00:38:06]

Toma, which is what a the practice of throwing yogurt on a politician in protest, which was so widespread in the 1950s that the government banned it under penalty of having your head shaved, being a man hides a wedding ring in yogurt and gives it to his beloved if she eats it without noticing they are officially married or getting divorced or c foretelling the future by leaving a cup of yogurt out and then reading the patterns of mold that appear.

[00:38:35]

I don't know. Oh, let's go there. You're right. That's what the real thing. And it really was a real problem with it in the 50s.

[00:38:47]

So they had to threaten people with public shaming. All right, last one.

[00:38:51]

If you get this one right before I was about to say perfect, but in your case, I'll say more perfect.

[00:38:56]

Oh, yogurt is an incredibly popular food, as I'm sure you know, but not all yogurt based products succeed. Which of these failed to find an audience?

[00:39:06]

A clear roles, touch of yogurt, shampoo, B, McDonald's, filet of yogurt sandwich, or C, Lee's yogurt lover jeans with a yogurt cup shaped pocket on each thigh.

[00:39:20]

B, because that's not like American stuff. I love you for choosing it, but that's not right. Oh, the answer was clear.

[00:39:27]

A touch of yogurt shampoo.

[00:39:29]

Oh, because of the cold. Yeah. I didn't know what it meant. It's all right. And it's failed. Bill, how did Caramel Brown do on our quiz. Two out of three. That means you're a winner. Congratulations from. Support for this podcast and the following message come from Kay Bucksbaum in support of the David Gilkey and Zabihullah Tamanna Memorial Fund, established to strengthen NPR's commitment to training and protecting journalists in high risk environments.

[00:40:12]

Finally, back in February, we invited back one of our favorite guests, the movie director Barry Sonnenfeld, to tell us about his recently published memoir.

[00:40:20]

Hi, Peter. The book is amazing. It turns out that you have lived a somewhat unusual life for a big time movie director. But usually we think of movie directors as being like real alpha people. They're powerful. They've got a vision.

[00:40:35]

That's not you. I don't think I know. You know, as I mentioned eight years ago, I learned from my mother a concept of strength, a weakness that the more sort of needy you seem to be of other people's help. Yeah, they will come to the rescue. So I surround myself with really smart people and really talented people. And then I like Point and I'll stutter. And then they'll say, Oh, you want me to talk faster?

[00:41:05]

And I go, Yeah, that would be great, thanks. Your book tells more stories about your parents, both your parents.

[00:41:13]

Yeah. Who were I believe the technical term is a piece of work.

[00:41:17]

You know, what's funny is neither of my Jewish parents. Yes. Wanted me to go into the doctoring or lawyering or finance businesses. My mother wanted me to be an artist. And my father said, do whatever you want to do and somehow you'll make a living doing that. Which is unusual considering he was bankrupt seven times in my life. Really?

[00:41:44]

So, yeah, he believed in doing what you like to do. He just didn't figure out a way to make money doing it. Right.

[00:41:51]

Well, he he also wasn't that good in telling you about the facts of life, am I right?

[00:41:56]

Well, here's the problem. Is that how he started his explanation of the facts of life. Here's the problem and the problem.

[00:42:04]

The dad and I were going to go to a Yankee game, and that was my hero when I was about 13 or 14 and we were in a hurry. So I put on dad's jacket and found a bunch of condoms in there, which was surprising since I can't imagine my parents ever having sex. So anyway, Dad decided to take that moment where I discovered he was obviously having an affair to teach me about the facts of life and he got it totally wrong.

[00:42:32]

He explained to me, for instance, that the only time a woman can become pregnant is during their period. So at least I realized why I was an only child.

[00:42:43]

Yes, but I had to explain to my father that it's exactly the opposite. And he said, Good to know.

[00:42:57]

I read you had no interest in directing, you agreed to direct The Addams Family. What made you change your mind?

[00:43:02]

You know, I really enjoyed being a cameraman. You know, I write about being a cameraman on Penny Marshals' movie and all these other movies. And this producer, Scott Rudin, sent me the script for Adam's family and he said, you should become a director. And I said, OK, I'll direct this the way I go through life, OK? I learned it from Penny Marshall, as it turns out. In fact, I shot Big for Penny.

[00:43:30]

And after the first week she came up to me the second Monday and said, I tried to fire you, but they wouldn't let me.

[00:43:41]

And I said, Who wouldn't let you fire me?

[00:43:45]

Penny, you should have any cameraman you want. She said, No, they wouldn't let me. I called Danny because she was friends with Danny DeVito and I had shot throw throw momma from the train. She said, I called Danny. He says you're good, but I don't think so.

[00:44:01]

Well, Barry Sonnenfeld, it is always great to talk to you. We've invited you here to play a game.

[00:44:06]

We're calling Barry Sonnenfeld, call your father.

[00:44:10]

So, OK, you wrote a book called Barry Sonnenfeld. Call Your Mother. We decided to ask you about calling your father that is confessing to a Catholic priest.

[00:44:18]

Oh, boy. This is going to be fun. You'd be good at this answer. Two out of three questions correctly.

[00:44:22]

You might win a prize for one of our listeners. Know you will win a prize for one of our listeners, any voice they might like on their answering machine. Bill, who is Barry Sonnenfeld playing for?

[00:44:30]

Barbara Preston of Phoenix, Arizona.

[00:44:32]

All right. Ready to do this? Yeah. All right. Here's your first question.

[00:44:36]

Confession can take forever if you've got one priest in a long line of sinners.

[00:44:40]

So one priest in Indiana had an idea to speed up the process.

[00:44:43]

What was it, a multiple choice form so sinners could just check off their specific sins and hand it in, be a golf cart that allows the priest to bring the confessional to you or see mass confession with the priest names a sin. And everybody who did it just raises their hands. Well, it's either one or three. I'm going to go one, it was actually B, the golf cart now.

[00:45:08]

Father Patrick at St. Thomas Aquinas Church in Indiana likes to cruise around Catholic college campuses in his golf cart and offer the sacrament to anyone who looks guilty.

[00:45:19]

You have two more chances, and I'm pretty sure you're going to get this.

[00:45:21]

Sometimes a congregation's sins are too serious for just a couple of Hail Marys to fix, which explains why two priests in Russia did what once A started telling congregants to do.

[00:45:32]

One billion Hail Marys be required.

[00:45:36]

Every congregant to perform an original song describing their sin or C went up in an airplane and dumped a bunch of holy water on their hometown.

[00:45:47]

You know, I'm going to get this wrong, too, which makes the third one totally useless. But I'm going to go with three this time.

[00:45:54]

You're right, Barry. That's what they think. Upset with the level of, quote, drunkenness and fornication, the two Russian Orthodox priests went up in a plane and threw holy water on the Russian city of Tyre.

[00:46:08]

There you go. Last question. Confession is a right going back a thousand years or more, but this is the 21st century.

[00:46:15]

So, of course, it's been modernized.

[00:46:16]

If you're a millennial Catholic suffering with guilt, you can do which of these a get out of that stuffy church and go to a confession brunch held in a Portland diner where a priest hangs out in a corner.

[00:46:26]

Booth B joined the church of a San Antonio priest who is now hearing confessions via Snapchat or C join Uber repentance, where Uber driver will go to church and confess for you.

[00:46:40]

Man, those are all really good. I'm going to go B you're going to go B again. You're right, Barry. That's exactly right. Of course, the priest is using Snapchat because the images vanish, right, perfect for people who want to confess their terrible sins while with adorable puppy ears. Bill, how did Barry Sonnenfeld do on our quiz?

[00:47:03]

Two out of three, Barry won.

[00:47:06]

Congratulations again, Barry, with two for two on our show. That's it for this week.

[00:47:12]

We have officially run out of things to be nostalgic about. Wait, wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR, ABC, Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions.

[00:47:21]

Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, BJ Leiderman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Doornbos and Lilian King. Peter Piper picked a peck of Peter Gwin technical direction to offering a wider business and office managers. Colin Miller, a production manager, as Robert Newhouse, our senior producer, is Ian Chillag and the executive producer of Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Thanks to everyone you heard on this week's show.

[00:47:44]

All of our panelists, all our guests, of course, Bill Kurtis. And thanks to all of you. I'm Peter Sagal.

[00:47:48]

Stay safe. Stay healthy, and we'll be back with a new show next week. This is NPR.