Transcribe your podcast
[00:00:00]

Lauren, holy shit, look at this. Oh, my God, what's wrong? We have an ad before the podcast even starts with my sleepy juice company.

[00:00:08]

Oh, OK. Thank God Ned is willing to support us as much as they do because you are obsessed with them.

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Couldn't agree more. And if you're new here and that has become my go to for helping me get to sleep with their sleep plan, that I'm also starting to use it more for sore muscles.

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After working out to yell that exercise you've been doing once every month couldn't let it go, could you?

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Anyway, out of the pod, everyone needs to thank me today because Jeremy's feet are are just on a different, a different.

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Anyway, I may have put socks on. So everyone on the video side.

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You're welcome. Would you say that they're the average dad quality.

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Oh my God. Roll the fucking intro.

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You ready? Yep. Let's go. Hey, guys, what's up? Welcome back to Wild Till Nine, our weekly podcast, Stop, Drop, Roll, Rate the pod. Leave a comment.

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You know, it's actually it's not necessarily our weekly podcast. Yeah, it's your weekly podcast. Your weekly podcast. We've part for you. Yeah. We bought for you 100 percent. Question. Yeah, well, we were talking about things in all these things and all these things likely to happen and something that we didn't talk about that I feel like is very important to talk about, OK. Am I your type?

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No, absolutely not. No. Why, um, um hmm, how do I I just I just feel as if so here's the thing is that I love you so much.

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I love you so much.

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We don't like we have enough things to talk about. You don't tell our bullshit. You just get to it. Just get right. Yeah. OK, ok. I know, but I just feel like if I just need to preface what I'm about to say with just that, like I chose you and I love you.

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No but you're, you're just absolutely not my type whatsoever.

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I would say, OK, I've never dated anyone that has as much facial hair as you. And that was a first for me that I didn't know if I was going to get past.

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If I'm being completely honest, I. I like for some reason I don't know why. I've just like I've always hooked up with and dated people that don't have a ton of facial hair. Well, the majority of your hooking up and dating with prepubescent boyfriends, so what jealousy does it need to happen when we're dating?

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No, but they were in high school and before, so they would not have facial hair. Those people probably have facial hair now. No, none of them do.

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None of your boyfriends have facial hair? No, zero.

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Zero. Not really likes tan. Correct. Like a really gross like pubic stasch. All them personally, but pubis stasch.

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You know exactly what kind of stasch I'm talking about though. When I say pubis Dasch. Yeah. Like there's no other way to describe what I like probably are a few ways to describe.

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It's just shooby had to be. So I'm not your type. You don't mind because I have facial hair. Well that was that was probably like the first thing that I was like. Well also too I feel like when you're as pretty as you are, ok.

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I was like, oh, this guy's a douche bag for sure.

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For sure.

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And like, see, this is why I had to opposite to say that I choose you.

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I love, you know, keep going. No, you're just like this is this is going to sound so mean towards everyone that I've ever dated prior to you.

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You're just more manly than the other guys I've dated taller. You're just more like of a man versus a boy. And I will say that I definitely have gone through phases of being attracted to like a very baby face, like softer features for sure. Like my prime candidate for so that I have a crush on, especially in high school, was like a baby face skater boy.

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Like it just gets like a skater boy with like a baby face and just like have never really been into, like, the beard, the mustache. I feel like I had so many friends that, like, love the look of like the lumberjack guys. Right. It's never been me.

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And if I in any way. Oh, no, you're not a lumberjack. But I just feel like loved ones knew about shit yourself. You were like, that's the got my dad. Where's that shirt. Don't wear that.

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You did wear a shirt that my dad straight up has. I love that shirt. Well, I'm just I'm so glad he does not have that shirt. Does he. Does the blue one shirt was hundreds of dollars.

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Oh yeah. Greg would never pay a hundred dollars for a shirt. No, but hundreds of dollars. I would never pay more than one hundred dollars for a shirt.

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So he doesn't have that shirt but he has, he has like the cheaper Mark's work warehouse version of that shirt.

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What we're work warehouseman Islan is Cannon-Brookes work warehouse. Mark's work warehouse. It's like where you can also it's like, oh my God, Canadian guys everywhere. I love this story.

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It's like you can buy tools, but you can also buy work boots and also a sweater all in the same place.

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I will never have a need to go within a mile radius of this store. No, you really don't. So anyway, anyway, so I just feel like there's like baby face, no facial hair and then lumberjack is all the way the other end and you fall somewhere in the middle there. But I just never ventured even to the middle of this scale of facial hair. I made it with one.

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You're waiting in the kiddie pool literally. OK, no, no. I mean, like they were men but just didn't have facial hair, just about sprouting hair. Also, there's just like so many races that just don't really like I mean, if I was a guy, I probably wouldn't have facial hair just because I'm half Asian.

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Both of your cousins have facial hair? No, they both have pubic stoushes when they try and do that. She didn't say that to you guys. Yes, I did. That was Michael.

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Matthew, you both have pubic stashes when you try and do facial hair and you both know that. OK, um, but yeah, you are herehere prettier and more manly than my normal type.

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And maybe this is like an insecurity thing for me where I just feel like I'm not mature enough or looking to get into that.

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Absolutely.

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To like date someone who looks like a full ass man. Right. But and also to like I knew before I met, you had made out with a dude who had probably put the same amount of facial hair to you.

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This is the guy you made out with the night before you met me. Yes. OK, did I line up to dates back to back?

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Maybe I told you. I told you when I when I got on my last relationship, I was like, yo, I'm about to be single. I didn't say that in a negative Ichinose anyway. I was like, yeah, you're like player shit.

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I was about to go on a long journey of some player shit. Yeah. Anyway, I had to two dates lined up back to back, but that's up in two days. Whatever it was like, it was the same day anyway.

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He had probably about the same amount of facial hair as you and we ended up like making a for a bit at the end I think to the night.

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And my face got so ripped up and it was just like it was I was like, I don't know, like this is a lot. And it was the first like Harry do that I had made out with. And it was like same thing, just like stubble. But I also feel and I feel like we've gone through this journey together with facial hair is that there's a length that is when it's really short, it's like fine.

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And then it grows by the end of the day and then it's prickly and hurts and is like exfoliation that you don't really want on your skin. But then when it gets like a little bit longer, like one day old for you, it gets soft again because it's not.

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No, no, no, no. I just. I'm just wondering how many people are still with us, but you keep going. No, it's true. It's an art and it's a science. And I'm sure every everyone, the ladies get in the comments right now. Do you or do you not like a dude with facial hair?

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Yes, that's that's our that's our question of the pot is do you or do you not like facial hair? What's your preference?

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And also, like, I just like don't know if I could get down with, like, a dude with a beard.

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I mean, fortunately, I don't have the patience for it like day because I, I have like a five o'clock shadow all the time. Like, I haven't not I haven't shaved my face like like with an actual razor.

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I would die to see that one day. I haven't shaved methods of the razor and it's like since I don't know like ten years probably I don't, I don't like it. And also like I do that and it already comes out like a five o'clock shadow by noon anyway.

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So it's really you did you take a breath and hair comes back out of your face. Right. Also I noticed like when I work out in the morning, like if I shave before I work out or like like trim it down before I work out and then I work out for whatever reason, it's I need to do it again after. I don't know, it's like I, I induce more hair follicles around and then.

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Yeah. And you know, like I've had this for I don't even know how long and I feel like you came out of the womb with a five o'clock shadow. I assure you I did not. I feel you did. No I did not.

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OK, well in my head you did it. It's a good image.

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OK, so I'm not your type for seven reasons, for about seven different reasons of them having to do with stereotypical hair and body things.

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Yeah, well, personality wise, I have come to realize that you are my type, I feel like as I was going through the journey of aging, you are looking for something compatibility wise that's different every time you get into a new relationship.

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So I feel like when we I think you have overthought your way into thinking that every time. Yes, I told you it's really stressful up in my brain. Yeah, very stressful. It's I overthink and it's very stressful up here, I assure you.

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But compatibility wise, for my type, when I met you and you talked all my boxes personality wise, and obviously you take a ton of blocks of like being attractive, having great hair and having good tea and stuff like that, really focused in on the hair thing.

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I'll always remember saying I'm like, I feel like I care about my hair, obviously, and I want it to look good. And I go get I'm going to be two weeks. So I would say care. But the amount of times that I feel like you mentioned just how important and attracted and everything you were to my hair is how much I had of it.

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It was how much you had. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, I love your style. It's a great style. It totally works for your head for sure. And it's Lisboa because I don't really I've never really been with a dude who really cares that much about their hairstyles or hair style.

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I'm like man whatever. Like as long as it looks acceptable. But I'm just so jealous of how much hair you have. You so much damn hair. If I had that much hair, I would have the most luscious locks in the world and also would not need to sit in my hairstylist chair for three hours getting extensions and my boy would not take this thing every two weeks.

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Like he's just funny. You fuck you.

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I have death in my hair. No, I sit in the chair for three hours and add hair to my head, so it must be nice anyways.

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Am I your type?

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Sure. That felt well, here's a thing I have I've talked about this before, like I when I'm single and looking for girls to have more of a recreational relationship with recreational, I mean, it's very skin level.

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It's let's be honest, I'm not I'm not looking through and trying to find a certain type or whatever it's like. Yeah, I really do. Like when you see guys like just swiping right. Lepre quickly I honest, I will never look at the second picture because to me why not just say we're going to take a picture like I look like a picture once I already swipe.

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But for me I want to be able to look at you and my first gut like animalistic reaction. Yes or no. But you know why? It's not just about like what they look like to me.

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That girl put that picture first and the reason she put that picture first, because that's the first impression. So a lot of times it wouldn't even be like that. Attract that girl is like a funny thing or like it's something we're like, oh, that's quirky or like that's like that's different. I like that. Right. OK, you're telling me that you just didn't see a hot girl and swiped, right?

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Of course. Of course. Say it's not deeper than that baby. No.

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Like there were some girls for sure. Like did some like ironic funny things like like it's like an inside joke. You already have kind of thing that was like, oh that's funny. Right, OK. But as far as my type, I'm still so hung up on that you've never looked at a second phone? I did after I swiped it like we matched or not. But like, I was not going to sit around and just go. I would never swipe right on someone that I haven't like.

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Done a full analysis of their profile, looked at all there.

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And no one is surprised by that answer. No one's private.

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But no, I just feel I just feel like for all the people like me who overthink the shit and their profile, to hear someone like you say that, that you have never looked at a second photo, I'm like, well, damn, I spent so much time, like organizing and making it strategically.

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Like, here's a photo of me by myself. Here's a photo with me with my friends. Here's a photo with me and my dog hears me.

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Lauren, remember how I sent you the picture of the screenshot of our very first conversation on Hinche?

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And what was your picture in a bikini? You look at how to like in a bikini. I mean, yeah, strategic. And you know what? You got the right. I did get the right.

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I got the right side. The right. I got the right. Like, OK, got it. I mean, yeah. Yeah. What's, what's wrong with the idea of like the idea like love at first sight. Yeah. But to me it's like are you when you like break it down it's like I've seen like psychologists like this study of just like every single person that you come in contact with, like your body goes through like seventy four different like analyses like this or whatever, like body language.

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The way they talk the way is it's a bit, it's like similar to you. Are they different. And to me it's just like you see a picture and especially from someone who's like I work in like a people business. You put you put whatever foot you wanted to put forward and either I liked it or I didn't.

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That's true. I mean, I guess when you see someone in person to like, you see them in the clothes, they're wearing the hairstyle, they chose the makeup, they chose one.

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And that's like you get one shot with that, too, for what you look like.

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I just know I totally that all makes very so much sense for sure.

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And I understand that. I feel like I was just shocked to hear that because this is the first time that I that I.

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I think so. You won't. You see me, Swiper friends before to you go so fast. Yes. It needs to be what have you, what have you. Just like it. Just what have you make a mistake. Well that's what you buy. Premiums go back.

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Yeah I know but not everyone buys premium. I think I did it.

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If you, if you're going to commit to it your first instinct you got to commit I guess.

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I guess.

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Anyway. Are you my type. I don't know if you're necessarily my type or whatever, but my type is this, like I told your type, have bigger boobs.

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Is that a no. Is that it. No, no. Like for me, I tell you, like my type is a mixture. My type honestly is very little to do with why they are attractive to me. The reason they are attractive is because of their passion and drive towards whatever it is they do.

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Right. And so I don't know exactly what the fuck you do, but I was attracted to something.

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Yeah, well, I'll never forget on our second date you I forget how it came up. Kind of a deep conversation for a second date. But you made the example of like.

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Yeah, I don't know, like if just like if someone was like super into like knitting, like I love the passion behind that and like I find that so attractive.

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And I was like, God, it's so start knitting. Right. You got it.

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Noticed what you're like, like my like ex-girlfriends like have been performers, but they've also like one of my ex-girlfriend was like into track, like she was a D1 athlete, like, do I care about pole vault. No, but she did and she gave a shit and passionate about something.

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Right. Yeah. No, unfortunately that passion also means she had a chiseled body. Yeah. Wow. I love that.

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I don't really know the art of the pole vault, but yeah.

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Yeah I do like. It didn't even get there, it wasn't a come on, it wasn't even good, whatever are ninety six point one percent of the female audience. Maybe they didn't love it, but that three point nine percent of guy dudes, the straight dudes with the woman, the ones that are like, you're going to fucking sit there and watch this.

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Yes. That was for us.

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That was that was for you guys. Well, I'm glad that you could all share that together.

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Mom and Lauren's mom. This one's not for you guys either. You can log on or you can actually you can just skip ahead, like, halfway through.

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Yeah, well, maybe not. I don't know, but I feel like. Don't say that too early. We'll get back to you. I mean, OK, so and obviously it's been years now later. But what was it about me that was most attractive to you and not necessarily from a physical standpoint, but what was that thing that was like if you had to pick one? That's why you felt like you wanted to move forward with this.

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You weren't a you tuber, OK? You didn't want to be famous. Got it.

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And you didn't want to exploit me with Click Clixby. That is true. It was those so attractive to me.

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I was like, I just want to date someone normal. I want to date one that has a nine to five. I want to date someone who like is not a part of the Internet community eco system that is driven by fame and likes and clicks.

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I think I need to have because I mean, no matter who I am friends with, like because that is my job, I'm always going to be connected to that. So I need some part of my life to be separated from that. Right.

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And that was the biggest driver of being like, oh, like you're funny, you're nice, you're polite and you're not trying to be famous.

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Well, also not to like more reason to like me, but because I worked in and around the industry. Yeah. And knew all of the parts of it.

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You got so lucky because you're kind of best of both worlds that you don't want to be famous and you're not a creator slash influencer and you still understand what I do.

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And like the need to be on my phone a lot and the need to like, vlog some of the things that, like I do.

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And you might be in the background of like you understand how all of that works and understand the ecosystem, but don't want to be a part of it in the way that my past relationships were.

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Yeah, like the thing that drives me and my passion and my interests aren't directly related to the things that I think people mistake for being like the fun and cool and sexy things about being Internet famous. What do you mean? I'd rather be known for being one hell of a salesperson in tech and business. Oh, right. And like, if I got famous off of that, yeah. I'd be all about it.

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I don't think that's like an accomplishment that you like. Right. So not that I haven't worked hard for like what I do too, but it's a different ideology.

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But to me it's like if I do what I do it by nine to five, I work my ass off and I get to do it on these panels. It goes back here for this like hell. Yeah, but I'm not going to, like, pick up a camera tomorrow because I'm just like and I'm selling themselves for it today right out of Law Channel.

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That's not it. That's my domain. That was that was my number one check list box for you to check. Right. And you checked it. Congratulations. Right. You checked it and you had that great ass. And I you know what?

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When we met, my body was actually not that great.

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It's come a long way since then were it was a joke, but. Yeah, OK, thank you for taking it seriously and yeah, for sure.

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No, no body gains, but gains have been much more real in the past couple of years than they were when we met there. Enough. I really have had so many conversations recently and someone actually requested this in my DMS today on Instagram when I asked what we should part about today is love languages.

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And I love talking about love languages. I love it.

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It's so nerdy, but like it just makes so much sense. And I genuinely think that if you don't understand love languages like yours and how you give love and how you receive love and how your partner gives and receives like your relationship could just it could change everything, everything.

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It's so important because if you're not seeing eye to eye and don't understand like the things that they are doing and they think they're giving one hundred percent of love, but it's not how you like to receive loves you. You're reading that is like zero percent. And they're over there thinking that they're giving one hundred. It just like it just sets you off on two different journeys and you need to be on the same page.

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And not to say that you have to have the same love languages. You just have to understand them.

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You don't have to have the same love languages. But the things that you enjoy doing should probably be in line with the things that they enjoy receiving. I feel like that's more on a compatibility side versus love languages for sure.

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I feel like it's like a love language is more transactional than like doing an activity.

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We OK, so I made Jeremy take the love language quiz about a couple of hours ago and I'm going to just pull up my results.

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And for those who don't know the love languages, could we go and list those off?

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Oh yeah. OK. Oh my God. Yeah, there's really really Donovan. Yeah. Great job. Yeah. OK, ok. So there's this dude, Gary Chapman in nineteen ninety two.

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You were born great. Your babe great.

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You have our Lord and it's the five love languages.

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And we ran into another article that was like the millennial love languages.

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But we'll get into that there. There's some ironic but the original ones are.

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Words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts and quality time, and I actually can't find the screenshot of what my my like, exact percentages of the breakdowns were.

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But you're a little bit of all of them.

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But obviously the rank to see which one is your most meaningful way that you like to receive love.

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And I was all douchy saying this. I feel like the people who are the number one feel like receiving gifts. You'll do, but that's just how you like to receive love. So whatever. No judgment here.

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I've had some girlfriends before that were definitely number one in the recession. Giving gifts. Absolutely, yeah. I mean, like that was and it was funny because I feel like when I was like even like just casually talking to girls back in my single days, like in business world, I'd be in New York or Dallas or Vegas or San Francisco, whatever for work.

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And you could just see the look of sadness in their eyes when you came back. And for whatever reason, you didn't like grabby. I love S.F. t shirt for them.

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And you're like, oh, because just your mama.

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Oh, we got drunk together once. Come on.

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Anyway, would you buy me in my heart as sure. I'd buy you all the hard ass t shirts if that's what you wanted. Anyway, so mine are thirty three percent acts of service which is my highest. Yeah mine too. OK, seven percent physical touch my my to seven percent receiving gifts.

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So apparently don't have to ever buy your present. I love that.

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And then twenty seven percent words of affirmation and twenty seven percent quality time. I'm fucking balanced.

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My number one was active service number two was oh number two and three were tied with words of affirmation and receiving gifts.

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OK, so what are you going to get me for Christmas.

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Let's talk about it anyway, let me let me read through these encases the first time you're hearing about them.

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So words of affirmation, the example is like sending an unexpected note or text or card, like saying how much you appreciate and or love them.

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So, yeah, it's encouraging, affirming, appreciate it.

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And listening actively. Physical touch is nonverbal use of body language and touch to show love. So like not sexual. It's like hugging, kissing, cuddling, whatever, like holding hands like that.

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I love how we need their votes. We're just like robots. I don't need physical touch. I just like the.

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But when, when they're asking the questions very much like would you prefer come home and have your significant other have taken care of a task for you when you're tired or when you're out in public, they make sure you hold your hand like her sweaty palms. I'm good. Just do some things for me that make me feel right. To me, it's it's not even close or it's like a really good example.

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I feel like that was like a strong indicator for me is like one of the questions is like would you rather have a hug or be told that are appreciated and like being told that I'm appreciated. It speaks volumes to me versus a hug.

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Like you hug everyone just not anymore.

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Not truly. Not anymore. You don't come close to me. So receiving gifts, thoughtfulness, make your spouse a priority. So give thoughtful gifts and gestures, express gratitude when receiving gifts. So that's like picking up the t shirt when you're at the airport, right?

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Yeah, I love her. I love the gift and I feel like gives almost gifts. Almost makes it sound like it's like something Bujji expensive. But it's just like if you're the token of appreciation, that's exactly what it is like.

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If you're passing your guys favorite shared bakery and you like happen to grab their favorite cookie on the way home, like that can make me cry on a day when I'm PMS. And, you know, I mean, I love that.

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I'll always remember. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

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Go the act of kindness, right. Or act of service. It would have been an active service gift gift. Right.

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Yeah, that I got you. I like unbeknownst to me, but I wasn't thinking about like this is going to be a gift for her kind of just like oh I should do this. I think the same thing. Yes. Yes, for sure. So like I replace the air filter in my apartment and we have been dating for maybe a couple of months.

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And so L.A. kind of smoggy, whatever kind of thing. So I replace the air filter and like I usually get this one version that I would like more like a quick for what I would need. But they had this version of a specifically like hypoallergenic for things that like I knew that she has allergies in pollen. Right. Yeah. Because like and I didn't have good dogs that really matter. Like, I got things that were like, OK, cool.

[00:24:29]

What she had when her and moose come spend the night and like she wakes up in the morning, this will be better for her. And I like just like mentioned that. And I was like, oh yeah, that'll be that better this time because I got this air filter so you won't have any sniffles in the morning and you're like, no. And it was like, I realize it corresponds to like me buying this fucking air filter, which I just thought was just like, oh, of course I could function.

[00:24:50]

Of course I would do that, because that's what it's better for her. It was it was this moment of like I could see her heart fall out of her chest. I'm like, I died. Yeah, I died.

[00:24:57]

I was like, so. As I got the bars low, OK? Oh, shit. OK, moving on, quality time, uninterrupted and focus conversations one on one time is important. Create special moments, take walks and do small things with your partner. That was higher for you than it was for me.

[00:25:20]

Which one quality time? Twenty seven percent. Yeah. Oh yeah. Mine was like 13 percent. Mine was was like half that.

[00:25:27]

I think quality time is important to me because we're both very busy. Yeah. And time is probably my most and your most valuable asset. Absolutely. And so quality time to me is not about the like hours and hours. If I don't quality time is not. Let's make sure Saturday we just do nothing but spend time with each other. Like, I don't like the idea of this is our day and this is that's going to be something like to me, it's like I'm busy.

[00:25:50]

I'm so fucking busy. Everything's crazy all week. But somehow I never found a day where there wasn't ten or fifteen minutes that we just like, got to refresh together. Yeah, totally. And to me it's just like it's so easy to get consumed by work and this there's always something else to do. But to like, you know what, I'm tired and not only am I tired, I just want like sit here in L.A. with you. That to me is important.

[00:26:10]

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. For sure. And I think that, like, for someone whose love language is high for quality time that I know Remmy is like that's one of her languages is quality time. Remi Cruz. I mean Cruz.

[00:26:21]

Yeah. And Cruz with Remy Cruz and with Remy. And like I feel like if you don't understand that and you don't make the effort to make sure that you have quality time together, I think that can be really difficult.

[00:26:32]

And even though they're like, well, I haven't done anything wrong, it's just that the communication there of not understanding how important that is just can become so problematic.

[00:26:41]

OK, so that's a service, which is both of our biggest ones.

[00:26:44]

Let them know you are wanting to help to lighten their loads and make them breakfast or dinner go out a way to help with chores.

[00:26:52]

Oh, I didn't even get into this. But like things to avoid for this one, it's lacking follow through on small and large tasks.

[00:26:59]

Oh, interesting. Which makes so much sense.

[00:27:01]

Which makes so much sense because like I have story after this continue, I have a story out of this as well. You go first, follow through. So important. Follow through. So important. I've had a couple of experiences with a couple of ex girlfriends before and the. It's not even about the well, it's about the father. I could be wrong, but it's not about the one thing that didn't get done. It's when the oh, I'm going to do that later or this or like, you know, that they're like a signed thing that they're supposed to do that just like that they do.

[00:27:34]

And you start doubting the fact that they're ever going to do it because of the person that they are. They're not going to do that. That, to me, is the biggest terni then you can never come back from.

[00:27:46]

It's not because like, oh, they're having a super busy week this week and they probably get around to it. It's like they're not gonna do that. Yeah, yeah.

[00:27:53]

That's who that's just who they are. Oh, it deteriorates your emotions. All right, good.

[00:27:58]

Anyway, so what I was going to say is that we were about to do a workout and there was just like poop all over the lawn. And and you know what? You're the most sensitive one to it. Like you gag at like the smell of it. When we open the garage doors and work like work out, have endorsed, have broken.

[00:28:15]

So it really is. I'm just like always stuffed up at all times, so I don't really smell anything. So anyways, I was like, babe, do you mind going and picking up the poop? You're like, no, I'm no. And I was like, what the fuck, what the fuck?

[00:28:24]

So I was like a little salty about it. I was a little salty about this. Like, I remember texting my friends, being, like, shiny, pissed off about this.

[00:28:31]

Like, I feel really mad. But this is like over something so stupid. Like, I think it's fine. It's fine. Right. Like, should I be mad?

[00:28:36]

And then anyways, next workout rolls around and you come inside, you're like, I just picked up all the poop and I was like, you picked.

[00:28:47]

But just like the follow through on something that small and also like an active service, I was like, yes, but also I'm big on in terms of acts of service.

[00:28:55]

And this is just like a look into my life and all the things that I'd be active service, the gift, literally.

[00:29:02]

All these things mean ten times more to me if I didn't ask for it.

[00:29:06]

Right, 100 percent. Exactly. I feel like when you said, hey, could you go pick the pope?

[00:29:10]

Not. But for some reason when I was outside and I saw Pope later on, right. I was like, I'm going to get this, because to me it was like that to me. I mean, it means more to me, like, don't ask me to do it. I might do it right. And that's my way of cover up. The fact I was just lazy that morning, right? Yeah. Yeah, it did.

[00:29:27]

It really did. Yeah. And now now we're back at square zero. Did you take your care of vitamins this morning, baby? It's every day, bro, and also you literally hand them to me every morning. So, yes, and still loving them.

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[00:31:42]

Thanks, Ned. Question for you, in comparison to your type or your love language, right, thinking back to your ex boyfriends or whatever, right. Did they have similar love languages to me, like is your type? It's similar in the sense of the way that they wanted to be loved or were they all different?

[00:32:03]

They were all different, I would say. Is there a theme? No, not really.

[00:32:07]

It's kind of all over the place. I mean, they've all everyone loved it has always been like very different. I would say one boyfriend for sure was quality time. But I think that was also due to the fact that we were like a little bit long distance as well. So there was probably an element of insecurity there. And quality time meant more than the other ones.

[00:32:27]

I'm sure it was like a circumstantial situation.

[00:32:30]

And then honestly, my last relationship, like, I don't fucking know, we were just on such different pages on everything that like I just we were just.

[00:32:37]

This is the one with Alex. Yeah. You got it. Yeah. I guess anyone was wondering.

[00:32:40]

Yeah, we just were on different fucking planets and I think we both know that. And you know, that was not the only root problem of that relationship.

[00:32:49]

But, you know, that's a big part of it is is that like if you don't understand each other's love languages, then you're just it's just misconnections. Every time you go out of your way to do something for them, like I like to give in acts of service to show my love.

[00:33:04]

And if that person doesn't receive and appreciate it, I feel like I'm not loved, you know what I mean?

[00:33:09]

So if they're what I strike and and right with you on that one. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:33:15]

So if I feel underappreciated, it's just like it's the worst. It's, I would rather I it's, it's the bottom of my list of things that I want to feel is underappreciated.

[00:33:25]

Right. Especially like when I have so much other shit going on, but I make time to like go out of my way to inconvenience myself, to do something for you, like an act of service or whatever it might be.

[00:33:34]

And it goes unnoticed and totally unappreciated and maybe even just like like just I don't I don't want that.

[00:33:40]

It's there's just nothing that feels worse for me as someone who like values that.

[00:33:45]

So I like to give and receive in that way. But it's yeah, it can be hard, but I think that comes out of the compatibility piece.

[00:33:51]

Right. That's where like the the love language takes over because like to me I am very much in the sense of I think acts of service are the most important.

[00:33:58]

I just do like once, you know, and acts of service. And this isn't necessarily it's a bit like the the high school and college days like this is when I fuck you get out. And it's a real world, real world bandwidth wise when you're in high school and college, like your job is like get through and not drop out and somehow come away with a degree after that. I think like picking up on little things that are like lifestyle.

[00:34:20]

Yeah, choices are so important. And in past relationships I have like doubled down on acts of service to like do more of them because I feel like they weren't getting recognized until you hit that brick wall of like oh so you just don't recognize shit. Yeah.

[00:34:31]

Oh yeah. And then you feel resent. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's just a it's a deep dark hole and a slippery slope there for sure.

[00:34:40]

I'd be interesting. I don't think I've really had any like anything serious with people whose love language is physical touch, but I feel like I maybe like have like a couple of days where like where they're P.D.A. Oh level was not was not the same.

[00:34:54]

Like I guess I would. I mean unless I'm like shitfaced drunk like in my college days, like the idea of just like public display of affection is more uncomfortable to me than we have.

[00:35:06]

Um, we have a couple of finances.

[00:35:10]

Your MOF. Yes.

[00:35:12]

These two I mean, they're basically fucking fucking every now and they're like humping each other just like you might as well just be fucking. Everybody has his friends though. Yeah. Yeah. Just like for whatever you like everyone. It's, it's, it's a good balance here. Touch. They love languages. I'm talking to somebody else's girlfriend. You're talking to somebody you know, I mean like I'm in the corner basically fucking everybody is just like one.

[00:35:33]

I go home. If you just want to hang out, you're the one go. They're going to have to writing this book. I know.

[00:35:38]

Well, you know, it's funny. Any time they catch us, like sneak a kiss, they'll be like, oh, you're back. Yeah. Like if you go any any party.

[00:35:47]

Lauren and I are at 60 percent of the party.

[00:35:50]

We're not in the same room.

[00:35:51]

No, we're not together. Well, I mean, we fucking see each other all day. I want to talk to other people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, a hundred percent. Mom, we love you so much and I love that you're so in love with each other and keep your hands off each other again.

[00:36:03]

Fucking room. Yeah. Oh my God. Damn you really put them on blast like that. I was going to keep it anonymous.

[00:36:09]

Damn damn. Oh OK. Let's, let's actually go to things to avoid. These are interesting. So words of affirmation is not recognizing or appreciating effort. So I feel like that goes hand in hand with acts of service. It's like the reciprocating end of when you're given an act of service, physical touch, physical neglect or abuse. Obviously that's much less than feeling love. That's much less physical abuse. Yeah, that's, that's. Yeah, that's total.

[00:36:35]

Other side spectrum receiving gifts, things to avoid unenthusiastic gift receiving for getting special occasions. I had a friend who was.

[00:36:44]

Oh, she gave gifts to receive gifts, oh, my least favorite. Oh, yeah, it was. And it just felt like a manipulation tactic where it's like if I knew that she was spending this amount, that I would have to match that. So she would spend more so she could receive more.

[00:36:57]

And it was it was exhausting.

[00:36:59]

I was like, oh, my God, gift giving should be like, I love giving gifts and I actually feel a little more awkward receiving them than giving them. But I love being able to like, find something and make something custom like not like make up with my own hands. I mean sometimes but like I love finding the perfect gift for someone. I love buying gifts and it's not a one size fits all.

[00:37:18]

Buy 20 of these and send them on out. It's like, oh, she would like it this. He would want this. Right. Right. Exactly, exactly.

[00:37:23]

Like if I find gummy bears that are that are bourbon whiskey flavored and pick them out for you, it's like I love being like, oh my God, this is so cute.

[00:37:30]

And even if they're not even good, the idea is that you were somewhere I saw bourbon, whiskey, whatever. And I'm like, I have to get these for.

[00:37:36]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. But yes, I had a friend who is is gifts were all that mattered and holidays and occasions were just like big spending events.

[00:37:46]

And I was like, read the room. If nobody else is walking around acting like they're fucking Santa Claus because it's, I don't know, Mother's Day. I mean, like, calm down.

[00:37:57]

I know. I know. But it's hard because if that is how they receive love, it's like you just have to have a mutual understanding about that. I just I don't I think in a relationship, I could figure it out if I knew that it was so important to them.

[00:38:08]

But in a friendship, I was like, OK, we got to fucking relax. You're like, this is this is a lot.

[00:38:11]

I mean, like and also very like the temple of like highest compliment I can give to my friend is like, well, just go, we'll go with the flow. Yeah. Like I don't want to have to be strategic and plan out and my friendships. Yeah.

[00:38:24]

Quality time distractions when spending time together, long time without one on one time.

[00:38:29]

I think, I feel like I hear about this so much from girls who are in relationships and not necessarily girls, just like people who are in relationships with someone who's obsessed with video games.

[00:38:39]

I feel like that's such a common problem starter where quality time, it's like you're in the same room as them. But they're not. They're right.

[00:38:51]

Well, I'm just like cell phones being so popular, too. Yeah, but there's a. They're not they're the same wavelength, right, if you're both mindlessly on your cell phone, just like kind of together, just like you're right. Like, I feel like we I would take a quality time with you in the sense of like we've both been working all day. Right. And I want to just sit on our fat cloud couch like like an inch away from each other and just check up on what happened during the day.

[00:39:14]

Right. Saying that is quality time. Yes. And because we'll share things back and forth, like our our our techs and DMS are nothing but just like shared like dog photos and random tick tock. So you send me like all the time. You never watch. No, I watch all of them and but that's OK. But it'd be one thing if I was doing the wave length. Yeah. You are you are you vibing on the same.

[00:39:34]

Are you vibrating the same frequency babe.

[00:39:37]

Oh yeah.

[00:39:41]

But yeah it's so true because like if a girlfriend is sitting just like on the bed, bored on her phone, waiting for the boyfriend to be done playing video games with Dubrow's and screaming into the headset, you don't I mean like you are vibrating at different fucking frequencies.

[00:39:56]

But also with that I think a lot of partners guy our girl will look at that and say, I'm in the room. You have the option to vibe with me. You are actively vibing on a different frequency. I don't like that and more along the lines of like, no, that's OK.

[00:40:14]

Oh, I just I don't know, I've actually never dated someone who's been big into video games, but I have so many friends who struggle with that. And even it's just like something that just like people love for a long time, you know, it's not like you sometimes some people grow out of it.

[00:40:27]

Some people don't even play them in like ten years, but like, people love them.

[00:40:31]

So Jeremy really doesn't get down with, like, the different personality tests and the horoscopes and all that.

[00:40:37]

I mean, I don't get down with it. You fucking hate a horoscope. Don't even don't even lie. You hate a horoscope. I don't hate a horoscope.

[00:40:44]

I just don't think it is the definition and the best explanation for why any and everybody is the exact thing that they are.

[00:40:52]

Oh no, not at all. Totally not because this fucking ball of gas was passing this other one in the alignment of the earth was here. So that's why I like fucking Pringle's at twelve o'clock. No, makes no sense.

[00:41:03]

Is that really Pringle's the twelve clocks. Amelio. Yeah, makes no sense. I'm so good.

[00:41:07]

I know that now if I was living in L.A. you are perpetually like reminded because in conversation someone will say something about like that in again and like I got cut off and like I'm a Taurus so I don't like what it had to do with anything.

[00:41:21]

I mean that they're stubborn. So they probably didn't like getting cut off because they're stubborn.

[00:41:25]

No, it does not mean that you have to be stubborn this year. I mean, Moose is a Taurus and he's stubborn as hell.

[00:41:33]

Anyway, my point is this. I think there's a big difference between personality tests. Yeah. And putting yourself into a box of like, oh, this is like what I resonate with. Oh.

[00:41:40]

So you actually like a personality test more than a horoscope?

[00:41:43]

Yes, I do like the science back to personality test more than I like the OK, they're going to say it's all both science but I like the astrology version first and shit on here because everyone loves astrology and I don't and but no, no, I think I think people like astrology.

[00:42:00]

It's a scale for sure. And I mean, like, I love reading astrology stuff.

[00:42:03]

I don't live and die by it. And no means would like make a big decision based off of it. But it's always fun to be able to find ways. You know what? I'm sure I could read any signs horoscope and somehow find a way to apply it to my life, you know?

[00:42:16]

I mean, you don't think. Well, I think also also there are more than twelve types of people in the world. What but you know what? There's there's also the whole side of life.

[00:42:24]

You're a rising. There's stuff like that. There's it can get.

[00:42:28]

It can get. So you're such a fun to let us live, OK?

[00:42:32]

You're such an Aquarius.

[00:42:36]

Anyways, what I love making new boyfriends do is the Myers Briggs test. If you've never taken it, I think there's a free one on sixteen personalities.

[00:42:46]

Dotcom not sponsored, but it tells you and it's a it's four different dichotomies and there are 16 different anagrams you can have.

[00:42:56]

I'm an E j and what are you babe.

[00:43:01]

What am I. Yeah, an s T.J.. Whatever executive is, I think it's yeah. T.J., so anyways, let me I want to fuck this up, but basically the first one is an introvert versus an extrovert, and I feel like we're both I make me more than you.

[00:43:16]

I would say, like I'm almost right in the middle of an introvert extrovert, right? Definitely.

[00:43:21]

Most definitely an observer for sure. But because it's a dichotomy, like I lean towards the extraversion side for sure. Are you an extrovert, rising introvert, I hate you. No, I'm an Amber Alert.

[00:43:37]

OK, babe, I as an Aquarius rising cancer cover, I don't even know what I am.

[00:43:46]

You're in a query is, I don't know, my rising and whatever else is has borne out for 12 afternoon, whatever that means, I'm sure someone will tell you what you actually know what time you're born at January 22nd for 12th in the afternoon.

[00:43:57]

OK, so what can someone do, Jeremy Star chart and tell him everything. But he's in Rockford, Illinois, because.

[00:44:02]

Yeah. Know.

[00:44:03]

Yeah. You have an American hospital. I probably just gave away about seven of my passwords. Definitely.

[00:44:08]

OK, so Myers Briggs is based on the Ford dichotomy. So extroversion or introversion. So we're both extroverts.

[00:44:15]

OK, information. Do you prefer to focus on the basic information you take in or do you prefer to interpret and add meaning sensing versus intuition latter. Yes.

[00:44:27]

No, you're sensing a sensing. I think you're sensing, weren't you? Yeah, you're an T.J. you're sensing, so no, but I mean, you focus on the basic information and take it in right into it so that sensing oh, intuition is when you add meaning to it. Oh, no.

[00:44:42]

I was just like you take the information. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're the source of something and the decision making. Do you prefer to first look at logic and consistency or first look at the people in special circumstances? It's called thinking versus feeling.

[00:44:56]

So I'm feeling I'm always in my fucking field, I'm for sure. Feeling this is where you're thinking.

[00:45:01]

I sit in the middle of it. Yeah. Yeah. So you before the first look at logic and you love logic.

[00:45:06]

Are you kidding me? I love logic, but I know that it isn't like I would take into consideration that IQ IQ portion of that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah for sure. Yeah. The logic is sound that doesn't move right. But I will also add in the variable, the fact that I'm dealing with humans and humans are fucking emotional.

[00:45:23]

I'm, I'm an emotional wreck right now.

[00:45:25]

I guess I just wouldn't get distracted by the end portion of it.

[00:45:28]

I would consider that. Inform me. Right, right, right. Oh yeah. No, I just go straight with the gut feeling. Yeah. And the north facts totally ignores facts.

[00:45:36]

Yeah. No, I mean, I think you know what that makes a lot of sense of anxiety. Just ignores facts and irrational fears. The U.S. visa structure in dealing with the outside world.

[00:45:45]

Do you prefer to get you do you prefer to get things decided or do you prefer to stay open to new information and options?

[00:45:52]

It's called judging or perceiving. So we prefer your judge.

[00:45:57]

I judge. I judge. I judge for sure. Get things decide. Oh, yeah. Oh, I want to make decisions. I want nothing open ended. I love routine. I love structure. Judge that shit up.

[00:46:08]

I judge, I judge, I judge too much.

[00:46:12]

OK, so I'm an E as J and I love these because I feel like it, I don't know and maybe it's because they're 16 of them versus like the 12 horoscopes.

[00:46:22]

And again, I know that it's like going to different different different frequencies. You know, two frequencies. I get it. I totally get it.

[00:46:29]

One is completely fucked anyway. OK. Oh my God. So here are my adjectives on the console.

[00:46:36]

Actively sociable, warm, harmoniser, caring, enthusiastic, empathic people oriented, practical, responsible, orderly, conscientious can say, conscientious, cooperative, appreciative and loyal.

[00:46:52]

That feels pretty accurate, right? There was definitely a few of them that were really close.

[00:46:56]

I oh, did I pronounce everything wrong? No, no. You were great when you did that. There was there was something wrong there.

[00:47:01]

Oh yeah. No, I feel I kind of wanna see the negatives.

[00:47:05]

Yes. F.J. a little while ago when you were saying dichotomy in Enneagram, I was like, damn, all right. There's more syllables than you've pronounced correctly in this entire show.

[00:47:11]

OK, I think I mean, Bulleit. Yeah, but you nailed it. Being a victim of bullying. You nailed it. You're in you second guess your frustration often.

[00:47:18]

Oh yeah. For sure. Well because ninety I would say fifty fifty. I'm wrong. Well two percent right this last time.

[00:47:22]

Hell. OK e j you are the executive right. Yes.

[00:47:28]

Yeah. Active organizer. Logical, assertive, fact minded, decisive, practical, results oriented, analytical, systematic, concrete, critical responsible. Take charge.

[00:47:41]

Common sense. That is absolutely fucking you. You know this says to me that says relist. Why would you not be a realist?

[00:47:50]

Because I'm an optimist, babe. It's not to say that I don't understand and appreciate optimism, but at the end of the day, logic said that realism is that way.

[00:47:57]

And maybe so. Anyway, I love I don't know. I just feel like it's a deeper understanding of of yourself. I don't necessarily apply to other people I love like hearing what yours is and being like. Oh yeah, that does make sense.

[00:48:10]

But like personally, I took this in university and I was like, oh shit, I am an f.j. as fuck. And it just feels nice to like I like putting myself in a category I like, I like kind of being in this box, like a lot of times I don't want to be in a box and I like to think outside of the box.

[00:48:26]

But for something like this, there's like a level of comfort that I'm in this box.

[00:48:31]

Martha Stewart's and S.J, Martha Stewart shmucks Halloween. I love that Martha Stewart. Yeah, I just I guess I'm glad that you relate to it and you feel good about it. And I don't disagree with anything that you just said about me.

[00:48:44]

Yeah, yeah. Let's see. What's it about? The bad things about you. E j I'm surprised you have to look this up. Korn's.

[00:48:53]

No o o oh e j negatives o negative traits, here we go, let's go roast him.

[00:49:00]

Oh. Are you ready. Mm hmm. Can be extremely judgmental, can be stubborn, inflexible, inflexible, unreasonable and overly rigid. Materialistic. Tend to believe they're always right.

[00:49:14]

Oh I'm really bad about being wrong sometimes so bad about being wrong.

[00:49:20]

So about a tendency to be bossy, easily agitated, impatient with sloppiness and inefficiency.

[00:49:26]

Oh, that one. That one is. Yeah, that one is right on the nose. Not naturally in tune with the feelings of others.

[00:49:33]

I don't agree with that one, but wow. Yeah. The impatient with inefficiency. If you ever want to see Jeremy just pissed off as fuck is at the airport. Oh my God.

[00:49:42]

Oh my God. People, what are their worst version of themselves.

[00:49:44]

OK, here are my negatives. Not that I have any but just one just. Oh I'm sorry. S.J is the caregiver. I got that mixed up. I don't know what the console. Oh, maybe it's the same one.

[00:49:55]

OK, prone to struggle with insecurity stemming from their strong desire to be liked, you tendency to need lots of positive affirmation or to feel good about themselves.

[00:50:05]

Strongly dislikes, criticism and conflict can be overly sensitive.

[00:50:10]

It's not you, not by you. That's not you. Keep going. These are. These are OK. Questionable at best, tendency to partake in gossip. No comment can be overly status conscious and too concerned about what others think about them can be dramatic tendency to dislike change.

[00:50:33]

Oh bitch, don't, don't, don't, just don't change anything. It's fine. You're not change anything. May have a hard time accepting the end of a relationship, hence why I'm a serial dater, see, like I just I just love it. I love it so much.

[00:50:48]

These are all exactly you. Oh, I know there hasn't been one that am, I guess, 100 percent that owe their respect for rule of law and authority and tradition may cause them to blindly accept rules that questioning or understanding them have definitely fallen victim down a few times.

[00:51:01]

You are for whatever reason, if the right like mouth or person or situation just tells you something like, OK, that makes sense.

[00:51:08]

Yeah, except the media, even if you have facts in your head that would completely go against it for whatever reason, some things like OK, that makes sense and like I'll just back but you know that's not true. You know what I mean.

[00:51:18]

The only thing is though is that if some kind of authority tells me something that I don't agree with oh, God speed airports through Yanov airports, I there's been a few times where I I've you have a weird issue with authority in the most strange of fucking, you know, various times I know and I and I've never had issues with authority.

[00:51:39]

There was you know, it started is there is this one teacher who just treated me so differently in class and everyone else. And she got so mad at me all the time and sent me for a walk around the halls. I got kicked out of class all to go walk to go take a walk around the halls.

[00:51:54]

I would have fucking walked my ass to my car and left so didn't have a car. I would have been sober.

[00:51:58]

So I was stuck there. But yeah, I was so mad. I was so mad. And that was the first time that I ever, like, talk back to a teacher and like not questioned authority, but was like, fuck you.

[00:52:08]

Like, what do you mean.

[00:52:09]

Like it would be like if means what else we're talking probably should have been talking. I would be the one every single time out in the hall taking a lap.

[00:52:18]

That's funny, I would have I would love to see you. I was mad, get disciplined like that. Oh, you know what?

[00:52:24]

You know what? I think I just got I my tolerance for some bullshit got less and less.

[00:52:29]

As I got older in high school, we had this ridiculous rule where you couldn't wear ripped jeans, you couldn't have jeans and holes in them. This is one like holy jeans are so trendy.

[00:52:39]

And it genuinely was like kind of difficult to find jeans that didn't have holes in them that were like sold.

[00:52:44]

You didn't have any, like, dressing. Yeah. It's like become Ole's after you wash them, wash them once.

[00:52:50]

And so I'm sure you won't close them. Oh yeah. No, no. I was doing that so I would've been fine.

[00:52:56]

But yeah, the principal would just like send people home recklessly if you had holes in your jeans. So at that point I was just like, I will see you tomorrow, principal.

[00:53:03]

I thought the dumbest shit though. Like that's one of those rules that you're like and I get that like it's a rule and you have to follow. And that's part of being in school. You just learn how to follow rules. You agree with them or not. But like some things are just like, fuck, why does that matter?

[00:53:14]

Also, like, for the sake of my education, you're sending me home because there's a one centimeter hole in my jeans and get fucked. I see I have I have a thorny problem, I have I mean, I definitely had I didn't have authority issues because like I had respect issues for people that I didn't think deserved it. And so, like, when you're a kid that can get you into trouble.

[00:53:35]

But when you're a kid, like the my least someone who's like a challenger and like I do not just accept things when someone says, like, it's blue. Yeah, it's fucking green. And like whether I'm right or wrong, like if I like it's green, I must just like, spit it back there. You're like a debater. Why does I don't I challenge things for sure like that to be crazy. And I had the hardest time when someone's only.

[00:53:59]

Comeback was I'm because I'm in charge because I'm older and mature. I think so, but it's like I can't imagine from my perspective if, like some little kid, I told me something that I didn't agree with, if my answer was only because I've existed longer than you, then my argument sucks.

[00:54:14]

But I feel like if they were to come back with an argument like, you know, that they've got to be insecure about that, aren't delivering it, of course.

[00:54:20]

But that's the drug, the fucking wall, right? Yeah. Like business this whole 16 day. I don't think it's that complicated to me. There are three types of people, assertive, analytical and a commentators. You got people that are they wanna be the boss. You have people that only rely on numbers and facts. And does it make money or not? And you have people that are going to go out of their way to do any and everything to make you feel good about whatever it is.

[00:54:43]

And you're a commentator.

[00:54:45]

You are until you're not. And because there are things that like us doing this type of business together, I'm shocked that I'm like, yo, chill out, it's OK.

[00:54:55]

Yeah, I feel like we lose our patients at things differently definitely than we. But I will say it maybe it's changing. We're like any more similar. You are adopting my way of dealing with those conflicts from like a written communications. Damn definitely miles and miles differently than me. Like when we first met for sure.

[00:55:13]

Jeremy has he's really just like learned the art of strategic conversation.

[00:55:23]

I've learned the art of say what you want to say.

[00:55:26]

Yeah, but it's say what you want to say, but also get what you want without offending anyone. Right.

[00:55:30]

Because like, I feel like I'm either like this it's the same with the patients, like I'm either at zero, like I'm totally accommodating for everything that you could ever ask for or I'm at one hundred percent, no chill and I'm just like fucking ribbon new assholes.

[00:55:44]

Like I have to say through an email that you don't come back from. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, right here. Don't be the wrong person, right? Yeah.

[00:55:52]

We call it T. Rex typing when I'm typing an angry email and I'm just slamming on keys like a T if you are if you're watching the video, I'm like, I'm T rex. Like ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. And I'm mad.

[00:56:05]

I'm so it's zero to 100 very quickly. And maybe that's something that I should work on. But when the patience is gone, the patience is going well.

[00:56:12]

You can always tell it like hearing a commentator if you when you ask questions in a written form or even verbally, if you give the person you're asking the question the out for if they are giving you an answer that doesn't align with what you want, for example, like, so are you're going to pick up the kids or are you going to be too busy? You'll have to do is like and you're going to get the kids right. As opposed to like, are you going to be too busy or like somebody else to do or giving them an out beforehand because you're thinking about the worst case scenario and you feel like you have to save?

[00:56:43]

Oh, my God, that's me. And people either related or not, people feel uncomfortable because they just like, hey, are you going to be able to do this?

[00:56:51]

My dad I don't even know where he falls into all of this, but my mom and I just we think it's so funny because he's just so he's so predictable when I wasn't able to drive and I would be like, oh, dad, like, do you mind?

[00:57:03]

Could you drop me off at, like, the mall, whatever. Like I'm going with my friends.

[00:57:06]

He's like, well, I have to do this and I have to run to the store. And I'm like, yes or no, yes or no. So I wasn't even giving him an out, but he was giving me like a not even a concrete answer.

[00:57:17]

And my mom and I were just like, yes. And so I don't know where he falls into all of that, but it was fun.

[00:57:26]

I'm sorry, did love you grow, Greg love Greg. Love Greg also.

[00:57:33]

You've done such a great job of not talking about, like, dicks and sex on this podcast so we can keep it that way.

[00:57:39]

They'd be great if we could have, I don't know, a monetized podcast someone deemed me today. So when I when I reached out on Instagram to everyone and was just like, what are you guys on here on the pod? Someone was like, fuck you. Your podcast sucks, make family friendly content. And it was just such a such a fuck, you two little bitch.

[00:57:56]

You just know, this girl had to be like 13.

[00:57:58]

She was I think it was like, did you just tell me to go fuck myself but then also tell me to make family friendly content like I'm getting mixed signals from you hear the kind of comments that I see of like moms.

[00:58:08]

I mean, we have more moms that watches podcasts and anything. And I'm for the fucking energy moms. Young doctors.

[00:58:14]

Oh, my God, babe, should we tell them the exciting thing that we're working on or not? What are we working on? Certain M. Oh, God, that was a different word. Yes, merchandise we could talk about now a sort of emerge, OK, ready? And I said we're not ready. We an insane shit. OK, cut it out. Oh, I got to go out. No, we're designing some really cute.

[00:58:36]

You can get some Christmas ideas. Yeah, we're trying some Christmas ideas to hit the holiday stuff. It be like a limited edition, like nothing crazy.

[00:58:43]

But since I obviously don't wear real clothes ever, I figure that we should be wearing some Wild's annunciate when we're sitting here.

[00:58:50]

Indubitably, indubitably. Indubitably indubitable without a doubt. Indubitable, certainly.

[00:58:57]

OK, something else we haven't talked about that is like very, very much related that I want to talk about. Yeah. Is getting too comfortable.

[00:59:05]

Oh, well, I you know what I threw at my years of like doing Cunard's and giving attempting to give relationship advice.

[00:59:15]

I have gotten so many messages and they're always so sad because it's someone who's been in a relationship for a long time, usually a couple of years, and they love the person. They have so much love for the person, but they're not in love with that person. Right. They have love, but they're not in love and they feel trapped and they feel as if they've gotten too comfortable. And they're staying for the security blanket.

[00:59:39]

Right. It's hard. What do you do? I mean, you know, you leave, you leave is what the answer is, is that like you were doing yourself and them a disservice by staying in that relationship.

[00:59:49]

And it's so hard, I think, that I mean, marriage and relationships and being engaged and the titles and everything are so difficult because of, you know, life. I think the hardest part is that. We live in a world that is never, I think, at least moved and changed and transformed. It evolved so fast, right. And the person that I am today, I sure as hell hope is very different from the person I am.

[01:00:15]

And five and 10 years. Right, as you said.

[01:00:18]

Why is it that we accept that for a fact, but don't keep that same level of like that same standard in our relationships in the sense of pushing yourself and your other significant other to continue to rise and change and be OK with that? Or if you're not OK with that. Got to move on and communicate that.

[01:00:37]

Yeah, for sure. No, it's tough. I think I think that people get can get too comfortable. They take advantage of what they have. They stopped showing appreciation for that person. They start making them feel special.

[01:00:47]

And I think with social media now, it's so easy for someone to think or see that the grass could be greener.

[01:00:55]

All the distractions have never been better.

[01:00:57]

The distractions have never been so plentiful. And so I think it's I think it's hard and not to say that the grass, you know, maybe is greener on the other side or not.

[01:01:06]

I mean, if you're in a relationship where you're stuck and you're too comfortable and you're just like going through the motions, but there's a big difference between thinking and knowing and feeling like you want more right than seen and a thing that you don't have and associating value of what you deserve with that.

[01:01:21]

For sure. For sure. For sure. For sure. Absolutely.

[01:01:23]

There's that's totally two different things is. Yeah, I totally agree.

[01:01:27]

And we all have friends with boyfriends. Girlfriends were like, yo, what the fuck. And like a lot of times if like they're able to admit that and say like, yeah, it's not like how it used to be or this or that or whatever eventually. But they still got to make those actions. And it's just like where I don't it's probably hard and I've been there and you've been there before. But it's like communicating the fact that like that ain't it anymore.

[01:01:48]

Yeah, it's tough. Yeah. I wish I knew. I wish I had a better answer for it.

[01:01:51]

But like it is, that's like it's almost like one of the saddest breakups, like in those types of breakups.

[01:01:57]

Like I almost wish not that I ever wish anyone to be cheated on, but it's it's almost easier when there's anger involved, something to focus the emotions to your emotions towards.

[01:02:08]

Right. So it's you're like, well, fuck that person. They cheated on me. Like, fuck you, I deserve better.

[01:02:12]

But it's harder when they're a good person and you genuinely have so much love for them. No, it's harder when there's kids out.

[01:02:18]

It's hard for them. I can't even imagine I can't even imagine having kids in the picture, even even a pet. Right. But like, I think that as we get older, we have like friends with more kids and everything. Like, it'll be interesting because I think some shit changes and steps. It stays the same. Right. And it's like the amount of my friends who's parents because my mom was single for like ninety eight percent of the time that like I've been alive kind of thing.

[01:02:41]

And like the amount of my friends who I feel like the wife would say things to my mother when it was just like me and like their son or whatever evolved about like what they didn't like about their husband was the darkest, craziest, nasty shit. But also in front of the kid, too. Right. It was just like, wow, you guys have fallen so far from whatever, like this initial spark was. And it's not to say like, I think you should stay together at all costs.

[01:03:03]

Don't get me wrong, if there's kids there, but.

[01:03:06]

Not at the expense of your long term happiness. That then permeates and affects everything else, right?

[01:03:12]

Especially it's like I feel like I've so many like girls in their young 20s who have been dating the same dude for a couple of years or same girl, whatever it is.

[01:03:20]

And you're so young, you're so young, you're so young.

[01:03:24]

And if you are not 100 percent satisfied and feel as if you're growing together, move the fuck on. It's so sad and it's hard. And I feel like people get overwhelmed so easily with the logistics of breaking up, you know what I mean? It's like the apartment. The bill's like, can I afford this? Which are all valid concerns, 100 percent, 100 percent.

[01:03:41]

But in the long term, it will be worth it. It will be worth it.

[01:03:46]

One hundred and ten jillion percent, but comma and not say that that's not 100 percent correct. I think the big pieces, if you're going to make those moves right, don't just fall into the same trap and not think about what your love languages and what you are compatible with and you're compatible not with. Right when you go to do that again, because otherwise you're going to continue to fall into that same trap for yourself. Oh, totally. I think it's like half self realization of what's going on with you, but also like what you do and don't want with your significant other in your life.

[01:04:16]

Absolutely. I find happiness without a significant, significant other just going through life single to it. That's completely fine.

[01:04:21]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think when I look back at all my relationships, I took something very specific from that relationship that I left and was like, next time I need to make sure I have this and I see this in that person and I give this.

[01:04:36]

And every single time I've I feel like I've I was upgraded, but I've just found someone who's compatible.

[01:04:43]

I've just met about that. No, no one's bad. OK, I got it. You can say it.

[01:04:47]

I've just found one that's more compatible. Are you could you could say it. And that should be the goal though is that every relationship should be more compatible.

[01:04:54]

One another and. OK, there we go. Yeah, I think that was hard. It was there was tough stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:04:59]

Because I could ever but it just makes it sound physical and that's that's just the very same age. Yeah.

[01:05:07]

Yeah, yeah. No but I think that you everyone should aim to upgrade in terms of happiness and how you're treated and how you communicate like everything should improve.

[01:05:16]

But like the biggest piece here and like when I say upgrade and upgrade for you might not be the same upgrade or somebody else like two guys.

[01:05:23]

Yeah. Could be way better for somebody else. So like your upgrade can be. So I assure you I'm a downgrade for a lot of women out there. They'll be like I not deal with his shit, his mouth, the way to fuck.

[01:05:34]

I'm not going to like I'm sure there are plenty of people that isn't, you know, so like that upgrade is completely customized for you and your generation.

[01:05:43]

That's irrational, right? I heard someone say I think it was me on her truth, a drink with Alisha's I heard her say situational.

[01:05:48]

And I was like, my bitch, my bitch. Hours garbage. Right, garbage, garbage.

[01:05:54]

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[01:09:22]

OK, babe, I, I just Googled the compatibility of E T.J. with E F.J. in relationships, I'm a psychopath and I love to Google this, the moment that we could be talking for six days and I will be like Leo and Aquarius compatibility.

[01:09:37]

Just just, you know, just to just to see. Just to see.

[01:09:40]

It's not going to it's not going to make me cancel a date, not going to be marry someone. But it's just just silly, you know. OK, here we go. Wow. What if what if we're supposed to hate each other.

[01:09:51]

Well. I'd be this morning, oh, shit, OK. Let me guess, we're like pretty compatible. OK, so E. S, T J's and SFD have some common themes that often arise when they get to know each other.

[01:10:15]

I you want to keep these issues in mind, yet known as of you'll quickly realize this person as a fellow.

[01:10:20]

Understand. Sorry, you'll quickly recognize this person as a fellow upstanding citizen, a practical sort with someone and someone you can rely on to get things done. While you may disagree on the specifics of things, you share a general interest in pragmatist, pragmatic pragmatism, pragmatic matters, pragmatic, pragmatic pragmatism.

[01:10:41]

No, there's no EQ in their pragmatism, pragmatism, pragmatism. Hmm. That's a new word for me. Yeah, sure.

[01:10:48]

A general interest in pragmatic academic between pragmatic, pragmatic right process and correctness.

[01:10:54]

You likely will build rapport by sharing details about your lives and will feel connected when you discover shared history or commonalities in your life experience.

[01:11:02]

God, it's the boringness, but also the sexiest thing I've ever said. You communication can be a challenge between any two people and communication between us is not the exception, but being by being aware of the issues that often arise.

[01:11:17]

When we communicate, you can quickly learn how to reach understanding more quickly.

[01:11:20]

You're both energetic communicators and you may find that when you're together, you're both eager to talk. Well, this can make for some lively discussions. It can also be frustrating because you may end up competing for the floor.

[01:11:32]

Oh, we definitely would have a problem. I just let you go, baby.

[01:11:34]

You always the queen whenever you want. The floor is yours. Thanks, babe. My love, my everything.

[01:11:42]

It's important that when you're together, you both focus on being good listeners as well as sharing your own thoughts. This is something you can work on together. It is a worthy task is developing.

[01:11:51]

Your listening skills will benefit all your relationships.

[01:11:53]

That's that's fucking basic. I think we're both very good listeners. Um. Oh, so you, the ECJ, have a tendency to call it like it is without too much concern for how people react.

[01:12:08]

Oh, fuck. Oh, interesting.

[01:12:13]

So, OK, so it's a bad thing that I call it like it is an imbalance in your dynamic where you're feeling counterpart is desperately trying to maintain emotional harmony when you relentlessly rock the boat. Jeremy, why are you relentlessly rocking the fucking boat?

[01:12:29]

Because it's in Gorenc. You know why? Because I'm an Aquarius and ETG. I can't help it.

[01:12:35]

I'm sure everyone wants honesty, but most people also like tact. If you're developing if you're delivering news that may be hard to hear, think about how you can soften the message and be aware that you're ever so charming. Habit of offering unsolicited, constructive criticism may not always be taken in the spirit it was intended.

[01:12:55]

We have encountered that before.

[01:12:58]

I could think of a time two. Good, and then what are you it just perfect. Yes, I'm really good. That's great. Well, so we're we're both traditionalists and you each put faith in the past and trust what has worked for many generations before. You you share an appreciation for the rules and.

[01:13:17]

That's they're stupid. A true fucking stupid rule, right? I like the good ones. You have a strong sense of duty. Embrace responsibility.

[01:13:29]

You sound like I fucking and consistent, loyal and strong point and point relentlessly rocking the boat and relentlessly rocking the boat, a senior commitments through. We both like to do that. It is unlikely that you would carelessly let the other person down.

[01:13:50]

Yeah, honestly, I feel as if we're we're pretty compatible. Well, thank God we have a survey to tell us that. Yeah, thank God I'd be interested to hear in the comments what people are are and then like to listen to this podcast, one and two, if they have, like, significant others, if they have ones that they do and don't get along with. I don't know how you make that into a concise comment, but I'd like to hear it.

[01:14:14]

Well, take take your best shot. Take your best shot. And then if anybody sees some, you know, compatibility in the comments, shoot some sometimes off.

[01:14:22]

Oh, my God, if we if we connected a relationship through the pod, I would die.

[01:14:28]

I would die.

[01:14:29]

We should make our own dating app. Yeah. And it should just be like you're like your dating app is just what you do and don't like about the pod. Yeah. Yeah. And you can bond over that. Right.

[01:14:38]

Honestly, that's probably how some friendships can be made as well. Yeah. Globish make a forum. Um but I don't even know what that means. Are we still on the server. Yeah, I'm still in the service.

[01:14:48]

I just wanted to see if there was like a wrap up comment. You know, if there was like a summary of like yes or no, do we get along? It's it's all pretty. It's all pretty. Just like communicating.

[01:14:57]

And you will love each other.

[01:14:58]

So communicate and will love each other and buy me a good Christmas present and also, um, shovel the driveway as an act of service when we're in Big Bear for Christmas. All right, don't forget to subscribe and what's driving app on Spotify and leave us a comment, what was our first what was our first thing to comment?

[01:15:24]

So your two comments are going to be whether or not you like beards.

[01:15:27]

And that's for men and women, of course, and whether or not and what your sign is and what your Myers Briggs is.

[01:15:35]

Right. And if you have a partner of yours, match views don't match for the same. You're not same. I want to hear all.

[01:15:40]

Yeah. I want to at all. I love you to the comments in part. It's my favorite. It's genuinely my favorite. I actually do breed probably 90 percent of the crowd. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Same to me once. And I said don't go and then go do you. Trying to lead them before I see them.

[01:15:53]

No. Maybe I can take it.

[01:15:55]

No I know you can have it on the Internet for a long time. I can take it. I know that's a mean shit. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck them. Fuck them. Yeah I like them. All right. Well in that no this has been who you want to be today was Michelle Obama's podcast called.

[01:16:08]

Oh I don't know that one. This has been the Michelle Obama podcast.

[01:16:13]

You know, SecureWorks, you know, Spotify. I'm not sure who created the side of that.

[01:16:17]

But to be fair, though, if my name was Michelle Obama and I was Michelle Obama, you would probably name the podcast Michelle Obama.

[01:16:23]

Michelle Obama. OK, this has been the Michelle Obama podcast. I'm Addison Rae and I hope you enjoyed the podcast. I'm Addison Ray's mother by. He was the devil himself. He was the epitome of a cold hearted, heartless, evil, dirty son of a bitch.

[01:16:58]

A US marshal describes the worst sadistic sexual serial killer in Texas history, the only man to receive three death sentences. I'm investigative reporter Robert Riggs, creator of the new True Crime Reporter podcast by law enforcement sources opened up their case files. You can hear their blood chilling story about this serial killer on the True Crime Reporter podcast.

[01:17:20]

And I was a couple of feet away from for pretty good while and was speaking with him and his eyes were dead. His eyes had no spark of life, had no humanity in them. There was something wrong with the guy. And I don't mean psychologically. I mean in his creation.

[01:17:35]

A corrupt system turned this monster loose on unsuspecting women. Some of them, he would be able to pick them up by the throat, get their feet off the ground where they couldn't find him.

[01:17:45]

Join me for a journey into darkness. Subscribe to the True Crime Reporter podcast.