Trashcan. There's a trashcan there? There is one.

A hundred %. This episode of Two Bears, One Cave is presented by Nascar, the Daytona 500. The most iconic race in motorsports is returning to Daytona International Speedway. Make sure to tune in February 18th at 2:30 PM Eastern Time on Fox.

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. You're joining us for hard-hitting news here on Two Bears, One Cave.

Congratulations to Hamas for finally cleaning that area up. Well, you don't know. Let's play both sides. Totally. Congratulations to Israel for cleaning that mess up.

Yeah, you guys both did it.

I have no idea what's going on over there.

Really? None. It's fine. Everything's fine.

I don't read much. You'd be shocked how little I read. You'd be shocked how little I read.

I don't feel comfortable being the person that lays it all out. But I'll tell you this, they're not getting along. That part is clear. They are not joining each other for the holidays.

Do you think that's the biggest out of all the worlds of people who hate each other? Is that like, they're number one?

I don't know. There's a lot of people that really hate each other. Really? I mean, Iran, didn't they just fire some missiles towards Pakistan? That's pretty.

What's Pakistan done?

I don't know, but I wouldn't fire missiles at them.

You know, it's so funny. I don't even know. All I know is they're really into cricket.

They are. They also have nuclear weapons. Are you serious? That's what I meant.

Are you serious? Pakistan has nuclear weapons? Yeah. Shut the fuck up. That's like the fat I got a tick coming back hot after summer school. And you're like, what the fuck?

Yeah, you don't want to fuck with people with nuclear weapons. Iran doesn't.

I would have totally have said we could go to war with Pakistan in a heartbeat.

Really? 1.2 billion people?

Do they have a lot of people? Yeah.

I thought Pakistan was a little... No, just under a billion.

I thought it was a suburb of India.

Tell that to somebody from Pakistan.

What's bigger, India or Pakistan?

India is bigger.Okay, yeah.Do.

They have nuclear weapons?

Does India have nuclear weapons?They're definitely in the cricket.I would think so. I would think India Does?

Is Kumal Pakistani? Yes. Oh, that's a sneaky fucker. Yes. He didn't tell us anything about these nuclear weapons.Yeah, they do.

They do. So they have what? 1.2, 1.4 billion. Doesn't Pakistan have 800 million people or something like that? What's the population of Pakistan? It's got to be up there. Oh, it's only 213 million.

What country do you think you canI'm way off.

Sorry, but we got to say it, though. Pakistan is 230 million people. But India's population is what? It's over a billion. It's got to be a billion.

Yeah. They don't have condoms over there.

1.4 billion. Look at that, dude.

1.4 billion. Yeah, but I don't mean this disrespectfully, but what have they done? Sorry? With all those people, what do we got in America? A couple of hundred milli?

Andwe're killing it. Here, we have 320 million people, 330.

Do you think... What's their GNP? I wonder if California's GNP is bigger than India's.

You mean the Gross Domestic Product?

Whatever it's called. You know. Gdp. Gdp.for India?

Okay. 3.176. This is how little I know about India. If you told me where does all their money come, I would think it's from making soccer balls.

It's the fastest-growing economy in the world right now.For real?Yeah.

What do they make? What's a big Indian product?

What's a big Indian product?Food.Sure..

What's California's GDP?

Hold on. Let's see what India's product is first.

I want to go to India, by the way. That's one of my intrinsic value trips.Chemicals.Cereals.Pharmaceuticals.Pharmaceuticals.

Of course.Machinery.

Iron.seminal Fluids.Yeah.Luis Philip.Luis Philippe.

Who's he? Don't know. Race car driver?

Named after the French Monarch, of course.

Of course.

Don't know who that is. It's a clothing brand.

Oh, I never even worn it.

Yeah, but do you imagine how many people wear it there? I bought a suit. This is really big news.

Yeah, fuck India. I bought a suit. Fuck India.

I guess that's like-We don't have to say, Fuck India.

India is cool. I love India. Russell Peters doesn't even like India.

Really?

It's your time. I think so. I remember telling him I wanted to go there, and he goes, I wouldn't.

He may have said, You might not want to go there.

Oh, yeah. But I heard it's rough there. Well, of course, there's rough parts. No, no, no, no, no. All of it. Really? Yeah. Everyone gets sick when they go to those there.

I don't think that's true.

A lot of people go to India. By the way, I'm not a good listener, so I don't know what he said.

I think you didn't pay attention to all the secrets of Game of Thrones.

I don't know if-It's FaceTime, Russell Peters.

Okay.

And we'll get the real Indian download.

Actually, it's a great idea.

Hey, Siri, FaceTime Russell Peters.

This will be good. Come on, you whore. Is it ringing? Yeah.

I'll put him so he sees you. He'll tell more Indian secrets if he sees you. What time do you think it is in LA?

Two hours earlier than it is here?

It was just two. They kept that.

They kept that. They haven't changed that.

What do you think he's doing, boxing?

Maybe.

Oh, I bet he's got great Cat Williams gossip.

Oh, he definitely does.

How come Cat Williams didn't go off on him?

Maybe he likes him. Motherfucker. That sucks. This would have been a great call.

Yeah.

Hey, can you text him? Like, Dude, you need to call me back. Yup. Asap. Emergency. I'm stuck in Bombay.

Is it bad that I think we only call him about Indian things and Black people?

No, that's his expertise. Please.

Hey, I'm doing a podcast with Tommy. Facetime us. Russians were really big in chess.

I thought we were on your suit.Oh.

I got a suit.Okay. Sorry. What is wrong with my brain? I was still thinking about countries. I was trying to figure out why Russians were so big in the chess, and it was because of the Soviet. That is the one thing they were good at. So they just dumped a bunch of money into the kids learning chess. Really? Yeah. Kasparov It's like the dude. I'm really into chess these days.

So my dad was just an avid chess player. Are you serious? Yeah. He always had 25 games going at once, right? Yeah, constantly. Multiple chess boards, and then he would be playing 30 games on his computer and on his iPad. It was just chess, 24/7.Was.

He good?

Yeah, he was a good player.

So it's a lot more complicated than you think.

There's tiers to it like anything else.

No, it's really hard.

Well, the advanced players are astonishingly good.

I would consider myself intermediate, and I've never won.

You consider yourself an intermediate player?

I play a lot more than the average person. In this country, I am an intermediate chess player.How do you know that?I'm a top tier back game player.When did you start playing?This weekend.This weekend? This weekend. This weekend, I got really into chess. I'm getting a private chest tutor, and I'm going to learn. I'm already doing things Bobby Fisher does. I am. It's easy. It's not my own thought process by just stealing from Bobby Fisher. Ruby's Ruby's gamut. Yeah. It's really interesting. What I do is I tack from the right side, and they don't expect that. They think you're going to try to control the center of the board, but I tack from the right.

A lot of people don't expect that.

They don't see it coming, and I'm trading fucking horses for castles.

Horses for castles?

I traded a horse for a castle the other day, and they were like, It's a deceiving move. And then boom, I got them cornered. I leveraged my queen once. They thought, This guy didn't know what he's doing. He doesn't realize he's playing against Bobby Fisher.

Was this online you were playing?

Yeah, against a computer.

What level did you set it at?

Intermediate. Intermediate. It's been my passion.

I was on I was on the chess team when I was-You were not. I was.

You're saying that because I told you I'm in the chess.

No, I swear to you. You were on the chess team. I was on the chess team in fourth grade. I wonder if they still have a thing about it because I was on the chess team at Zachary Lane Middle School. Were you Google that? See, because I remember that we would go to chess tournaments, and people were like, You play at Zachary Lane? They're like, Oh, shit. I swear to God. See if it's even a thing still.

So I'm a high-level backgammon player. Like elite, I would argue.How.

Long have you been playing back in?A.

Long time.Okay. Probably 20 years.

Sorry, that's in... Where is that? Is that in... Wait, was it fourth grade?

Like a fucking whip of a fourth grader's I don't know.

Is it elementary? Oh, there's elementary school. Where does it say that? Yeah, in Plymouth. Yeah, see if they have a chess team. They still have it? Yeah, Chess Club, right?

Mr. Morley?

I don't remember, dude. They had a bonkers chess program there. I went to a tournament, and this kid, he was just like, Where do you go to school? And I go, Zachary Lane. He was like, Oh, fuck. He's like, You guys are the shit. And he kicked my ass. He kicked my ass. But yeah, dude, I was around chess a lot.

It's so much more complicated than checkers.

Yeah, no shit. Are you just putting that together?

It's like checkers on steroids. You really got to know what you're doing. It's not like checkers. See, here's the thing about chess, and this is what is my downfall when I play backgammon, is there's typical chest moves, control center of the board. Then I always think, if he thinks that's what I'm going to do, I'm going to do the opposite. I'm the same with backgammon. I'll always-Do you know the chest piece's names?

Do you know those? Yeah. What are they? You got-What's in the front row?

Pawns.

There you go. Yeah.

Queen, king. Then? Horses. It's a horse.

Knight?

Are those knights? Yeah. Then what are the ones? Rooks. There's no... Is that castles? Castles. Castles, and then you got the bishops, right?

Yeah.

The ones that look like priests.

Sure.

They go sideways or diagonal. Horses go up and over like a tight end. Then the other ones just are wide receiver. They go straight away.

That's a pretty good way of breaking it down. Yeah.

I like to take my horses, and I like to confuse them. I like to go horse move twice, spawn up two, and then they think I'm going to go spawn one to the left.

Jesus, don't give away your strategy like this.

You're going to change the whole chess world. I go horse hop, horse hop, horse hop sometimes, and it confuses them. They don't know what I'm doing. They don't know. I've studied a lot of Kasparoff and Bobby Fischer.

This whole weekend, you did.

This whole weekend. I know more about chess. Stalin was really into chess. That's why the chess program got so big, because he was really into chess. Napoleon was really big into chess. All these big gangsters were into chess, and I thought, I'm sleeping if I don't get really good at chess. And what a gangster move if a guy like me sits down in a on a chess board and just starts, Do you know who Magnus Carlson is? So he was my gateway into chess. Magnus Carlson is the motherfucker.

Is he a young guy?

The fuck, yeah. Gorgeous, full head of hair, sleek body, dresses clean. Look at this kid. Look at this kid. He's like, If Chris Hemsworth and Leonardo DiCaprio had a baby.

Okay.

And he comes in. This is what he does, and I do this a lot.

Now look, he's in a suit. Is that why you got a suit?

That's why I got a suit. Fucking tailored Winston Churchill suit.

Is that his day? Is it Wednesday?

Yeah, it's Wednesday. I wake up, I start drinking at 8:00 in the morning, soft scotch, cigar in bed, breakfast in bed, paper. Probably won't read it, but I'll stand there with it, smoke a full cigar. Then I get in the bath. I take a bath with a bottle of champagne. Where are you staying? Nowhere, where I always stay.

You get to smoke in bed? Uh-uh.

But I got an extra room. Okay. I just got a room, I'll smoke in it. Then I go to the club at noon, and we do Call and Stick to Work show, and then drink throughout the day. I have some duck later that night and live like Winston Churchill for a day.

Tell me about getting a suit because I'm a big fan.

I've had them, but I got them for the premiere of the movie by Elk Ruthem really quick, and so I didn't fit in any of them. And then when I lost weight, I didn't fit in them again. And so then I went in and they were like, Here's a crazy thing about suit. I can't tell what a good suit... I can't tell if a suit is good or expensive or not. So they're like, Do you want a suit? I was like, Yeah. And they're like, Fucking 25 I was like, No fucking way. I'm going to wear it once. Then they got me a $300 suit, and then they just tailored it to your body. It looks good because no one can tell the cloth.

Where did you go?

I don't know. One day suit broker? Really? I think so. I got two of them.

I got to get-I got to get-in the stripes. We got to get your measurements, and we got to have my boy Rashaun do one for you at Sam's Taylor in Hong Kong.

Oh, that's right. You got an expensive suit in China. In Hong You got a couple, didn't you?

Yeah, they're supposed to arrive today. Are you serious?

It's my new look. It's got a vest and everything. Yeah, a bow tie. A little in the pocket. I can't fucking wait. So Magnus Carlson, so I don't know everything, but he's... So chest matches start, and then you got four minutes to go, right? He always shows up late, always shows up late. His dude does his first move, like pulling two up or whatever, and then wait, or unless he's doing like I do, and he has a fucking pond horse or whatever. And then Magnus Carlson shows up late and then organizes his area. And as the clock's ticking down for his move, he's getting his water ready, putting his treats out. His treats. And then he just goes like this, pond. And then everyone gets frustrated with him. And then he beats everyone. He's the best- How old is he?

He looks so young. He's young.

The kids, the brain on that person has to be so complex Because you have to think through all the-How old is he?

He's 33.

He's 33 years old. I wonder if he's a good conversationalist.

He's Norwegian.

Sven Magnus Ulot Carlson.

Ulot Carlson, yeah.

He's Norwegian, and he's a grand master. I think I'm just a master right now. I wonder how quick he could beat me in chess. I bet I could... That's a game. How many moves do you think he could beat me in a chess?

Whatever the minimum amount is.

What's the quickest moves you could get beaten in chess? I wonder if I could... Two. You can't beat someone four. I think it's four.

It's two if you fuck up, but yeah.

You think he could beat me in under four? No. No, I could stave him off. I'd go full Bobby Fisher on him.

How many moves do you think you got on Magnus? Ten.

Ten? Easy. Easy? Easy. I got 10. Easy, I got 10. Pawn, another pawn. I go old school and play it safe. Pawn, pawn, horse, diagonal. And then what's it called? Flip flop? Flip flop? You know when you do the thing, you do Castle to King, and they switch moves? I do that. That's five right there. I just keep my barrier up, and then he's going to slip up.

You think he's going to slip?

He'll slip because he'll underestimate me, not understanding that I know a little bit of what I'm doing. I know the high-level shit. You said understanding. Here's what he's expecting.

Fast forward to the end of 2024, 2024. Think of your goals. What can you do right now to give yourself the best chance of succeeding? If you want to learn a new language, you absolutely should get Babel. Be a better you in 2024 with Babel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language. Babel's quick 10-minute lessons are handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks. La Donna Manja la Camicha? The Woman Eats the Shirt? No. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, get 50% off a one-time payment for a lifetime Babel Subscription. But only for our listeners at babel. Com/bears. Get 50% off at babel. Com/bears, spelled B-A-B-B-B-E-L. Com/bears. Rules and restrictions may apply. Staying up late, hanging out with friends, yelling at the game on TV, so you do a lot over a big weekend. When it's time to start another big week, celebrate Hydration Monday with Liquid IV. I bring these packs everywhere. I put them in my pocket, I I have them in my backpack.

They're everywhere. I start days with them and I end days with them. Why? One stick of Liquid IV and 16 ounces of water hydrates better than water alone. It has three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink. Liquid IV contains no artificial sweeteners, plus zero sugar in the sugar-free version. It also has eight vitamins and nutrients and is non-GMO and free from gluten, dairy, and soy. Weekends are for going wild. Have a game plan for Monday with liquid IV. Grab your liquid IV Hydration Multiplier sugar-free in bulk nationwide at Costco or get 20% off your first order when you go to liquidiv. Com and use code cave at checkout. That's 20% off your first order when you shop superior hydration today using promo code CAVE, C-A-V-E, at liquidiv. Com.

The biggest race of Nascar season is here, the Dayton 500. The most iconic race in motorsports is returning February 18th to Dayton International Speedway. There's nothing quite like the Dayton 500 Trust me, we were there last year. It is overwhelming. The race is unreal to watch. Over 100,000 fans on the edge of their seats watching as the stars of NASCAR battle for position while going 200 miles per hour. 40 drivers will compete amongst the likes of Chase Elliott, Ryan Blaney, Denny Hamlin, Ross Chestein, and Bubba Wallace as they try to make their mark to start a historic NASCAR season. This is the race that every driver has always dreamt of winning. If they win this, they will forever be called a Dayton 500 champion, and etch their name in the history books. Whether you're an avid fan or new to NASCAR, make sure to tune in to the NASCAR Cup series. There's really nothing like it, the Dayton 500. It's the race to see. So make sure to catch The Great American Race on Sunday, February 18th, at 2:30 PM Eastern on Fox. He's expecting a man who can't do anything. He doesn't know that I got high-level access to some stuff.

What access do you have?

Bobby Fischer and Kasparov. I've studied them.

But don't you think he's done that? He's a grand master.

Yeah, but you know what it is? It's like when you go, this guy didn't know anything, but I know a little something. So he's going to think, I know nothing. And then he's going to be like, at one point, he'll be like, Hold on. He's going full Kasparov, and I'll switch it up. I'll go Bobby Kelly on him. Bobby Kelly? Or Bobby Lee. Bobby fucking Fisher. Bobby Fisher. You know Bobby Fisher is Jewish, and he hates Jewish people?

Yes. That's where he was in a documentary. That's right. That's true.

And then they said to him, Bobby-He was a pretty complicated guy. You think? Yeah. He was in a cult. When he played Kasparov, this is fascinating to me. This is old school. They go and play, and he wins, but all the cameras, or he loses to Kasparov, but all the cameras around. He goes, No fucking cameras. I don't want any fucking cameras. Stalin's like, Yo, get the fuck out of there, Kasparov. Get the fuck out. He's like, We already won. That's all we need is we beat him. You are now the Fucking Champion. And Kasparov is like, No, I got him. And then Fischer lit him up. I could be wrong about names. It might be Kaparov. There were a couple of good Russians.

Yeah, the Russians were really good.

They were really fucking good. It's It's sad that they let go of communism.

You think so?

Yeah, they should have rode that horse.

I think they rode it for a while.

Yeah, but they should have stuck with it.

You think so?

Yeah, because I think they'll go back to it.

When?

I think communism is going to make another... Another show of it? Yeah, I think so. Look, I sound like a lunatic, but when they were all shitting on George Bush, I said, Trust me, one day, people are going to look back and think fondly of George Bush. And everyone's like, No fucking way. The other day, I said to someone, Don't you miss George Bush a little bit? They're like, Fuck, yeah, I do. Junior? Yeah. His dad was a fucking gangster.

His dad was a real fucking motherfucker. He was a motherfucker, that's for sure.

Like a real man. They don't make men like that. Dive bombing into fucking Japanese planes.

He ran the CIA. I mean, those are usually pretty gangster dudes.

Fuck, yeah.

We have some foreign treats here. You want to try something?

Yes, I would love. I love.

You said You're hungry.

I'm starving, and I love experiencing new flavors. Yeah.

What about... What's this?

What's that?

I don't know.

I don't need my fucking glasses.

I'm excited to see what we have.

Dude, hair transplants are looking good these days.

And cocket fillers are, too. Cock fillers? Yeah. They reached out.

I'm listening.

Okay.

It can get bigger? Yeah. And is it always bigger?

Because that's what I would like. It stays bigger.

I would like an always big cock.

Yeah.

I would take an always big cock for a hard cock. Oh, my God.

What is this? Does it smell bad?

It smells like fucking cat food. It's a sandwich spread.

I'm going to throw up, and I haven't even smelled it.

I'm taking my Zen out. Yeah. Do you suck your Zen when you're done?

What do you mean?

Get the last little bit of it. You have sex with Zen Zen?

No.

Oh, me either.

You do? Fuck, yeah. Is it better?

I put two in sometimes. Really? I really feel it.

It affects your sex life?

I don't know. I always wonder if she can feel it because it's in my mouth, and then if I go down on it, does she get the effects of nicotine?

Holy shit.

What? Okay, pretend I didn't say that. Okay. All right. I'll take a little bite. Okay. Oh, it's soft. It's a sandwich spread.

Go ahead. You go first.

It's a sandwich spread. I'll take a I'm going to take a lot off just so that... I don't want to take all of it. What sodas we have? Not the fucking integration liquid desk looking for. They're like, Yeah, put sugar in your mouth, then wash it down with it.

That didn't look too bad.

If you don't breathe in through your nose, it's not bad.

Oh, my God.

Here, try Okay. If you don't breathe in through your nose, it's not that bad. I wonder what it is. I never read what it is. I'm glad I didn't before I ate it. Man. It sits on the back of your tongue.

It's a pork sandwich spread from Denmark.

Oh, God. That was bad. That was bad. That burp was the sky. Do you know how hungry you have to be to eat that? Oh, God. It was on the back of my tongue, and now it's in the back of my nose. I need another Zen. I need a Zen to clean a palate center. It smells terrible. Oh, my God. Oh, fuck. Oh, God. It's not good. It's in my molars. I do a little more than that. Just do a little big bite.

No, I don't think so. I think this is enough.

It's in the back. It's in my... I'd say that then you're going to need it. You're going to need it. What the fuck is wrong with Danish people? It's not that good. It's not that good. It's not that good. It's not that good. It's not that good. Can you imagine ice skating to school and then having a sandwich of this? It's so bad. Don't throw up. I'm going to throw up if you throw up.

That was really bad.

Why did you burp it up? It is so bad. What the fuck is wrong with Danish people? Fuck.

That was the first one.

If that's all I had, I would have moved to America, too. At least for a chicks fuck.

That was fucking disgusting.

That was really bad. Maybe we should wash it down with a sardine. These sardines, these are Moroccan sardines. That's the best place to get sardines. In a box?

Are they supposed to be in a fucking can? Shit.

Sardines are good. I like sardines. This will be a palate cleanser. Fuck. I've been eating Chicharones a lot. Really? Yeah, because I'm being chino, carno. Can you eat?

Oh, thank God there's a can.

All right. Sardines are like pussy. They don't smell great at first. Oh, wow. These are fucking aggressive. Really? Wow. Holy shit. Should I keep my Zen in? I don't want my Zen to be tainted by sardine.

Jesus.

All right, I'm going to just leave it up in like that. They're not very malleable. You'd think they'd be a little... These are heart healthy.

Yeah.

Who was I just watching? I was watching a celebrity eat these.

They're great sources of protein. Are they? Yeah.

But man, there's a gelatinous thing on the side. Do you see the gelatinous thing? Yeah. No. Oh, God.

Trash can. There's a trash can there? Mm-mm. A trash can for him? There is one.

There's a trash can. You should try one.

You should try one after that?

Put a big one on your tongue. Just let it sit on your tongue. Oh, God. I'm not coming out. It's so fucking aggressive. It takes the whole fucking taste that overwhelms your mouth at a second. I'm going to go do a case of zins. What is that? Are these a different type of sardine?

I mean, they came in a box from Morocco.

It's 300 calories for one sardine. What? Or maybe for the whole box. Here, you should try one. Put the whole, just get a big one and just let it sit on your tongue. Let's see if you can leave one on your tongue the longest.

Give me the plate, though, too. Give me a plate.

God, there's this fucking hot check. I think it was like Angie Harmon was just eating sardines.

Some of them are good.

Wait, they're not all the same?

Well, the ones in a restaurant usually don't taste like this.

How do we doctor that up? Do we have hot sauce? You're not going to like this. You're not going to like this. I'm going new. This podcast is sponsored by DraftKings. Get in on the UFC 298 action with DraftKings Sportsbook, the official sports betting partner of the UFC. New customers who deposit $5 or more can get a no-sweat bet up to $1,000 back in a bonus bet. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now and use code bears. New customers can get a no sweat bet up to $1,000 if your first bet loses. Only DraftKings Sportsbook with code bears. The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800 Gambler. Or in West Virginia, visit 1-800-Gambler. Net. In New York, call 877-8 Hope & Y or text Hope & Y 467-369. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg. Org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas, 21 and over. Age varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario, one no sweat bet per new customer. Issued as one bonus bet based on amount of initial losing bet. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. See dkng. Com/promos for deposit, wagering in eligibility restrictions, terms, and responsible gaming resources.

This show is sponsored by Better Help. A common misconception about relationships is that they have to be easy to be right. Wow, that is so true. Actually, I think the hard work makes a relationship better, personally. Sometimes, the best ones happen when both people people put in the work to make them great. Therapy can be a place to work through challenges you face in all your relationships, whether it be with your friends, your work, your significant other, or anyone like your daughters. Let me tell you something. I have leaned on therapy to fix the relationship with my daughters that, listen, you show up as a parent with no skillset, no skillset. You think the things your parents did were great, and then you bring them into your relationship, and then you start doing them and you go, Yeah, that didn't work for me. Wait, why isn't this working? Look, you can talk to your wife. She's only an outsider watching. Or you can talk to someone totally separate who doesn't know anything about it and really can give you an objective view. That's why I'm in therapy. If you're thinking about starting therapy, you better help a try.

It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Become your own soulmate. Whether you're looking for one or not, visit betterhelp. Com/bears today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P. Com/bears.

Oh, man, that smell just came over here.

This smells aggressive. Yeah. It smells aggressive. It's got like a fucking sour taste in my mouth now. Fuck me.

The smell is strong, man.

I can't imagine Andrew Zimmerman did this for a living. Oh, my God. He just did this every time he went out. Just get a big one and just put it on your tongue. No, no, no. I'm trying to get it out, man. You're really hook one. There you go. Just close your eyes, close your nose, put it in your tongue.

This smell is so strong.

It's really aggressive. Just go for it. Just go for it. You can do it.

Your face isn't helping at all.

I just know what I've been through. Just chew it. Give it a bite. Did you just shit? Did you just shit? You just shit. I want to try another one.

That's terrible.

Who the fuck eats sardines? You're crying.

I had them at an Italian restaurant. They didn't taste like that.

What, did they clean them up or something?

The taste doesn't...

You think if you dip them in ranch, they're better?

Holy shit.

Those are really fucking bad.

Those are terrible.

Can you imagine just getting sardines and being like, Here's dinner, guys.

Let's get something basic like that bag of chips. What's that?

What are those? These are shrimp a snack. Shrimp snacks. Where are they from? Oh, these are going to be fucking good. Probably Vietnam.

Yeah, East Asia.

Fuck, I can't see anything. That's stuck. These are going to be good. Flimp shrimp-flaved snacks. These are made out of Chino, California. These are American. Oh, okay. These are going to be great.

Cool.

There'll be a palate cleanser. It smells like shrimp, but the kind that you go, Should we eat these?

Better? It's obviously better than the sardine, right?

It's way better than the sardine. Here, let me see that. Let me see this spread. I bet they're pretty good in this spread. A little pork and shrimp. A pork over one of the shrimp. I got my front teeth. I got my front teeth.

Let me try a chip.

The chips aren't bad. The chips are way better. Chips aren't bad. They're not bad. They're not bad.

It's not my go-to now.

I would never fucking go. Who brought the shrimp snacks? No, this is going to be a great Super Bowl. We should have these backstage in our show for the MGM and be like, You guys should try these.

They were really good. Try it. Get some spread on them.

Take a little, I bet.

Watch people just puke everywhere.

I bet if you do, here we go.Oh, fuck.The thing is, you got to mash them up a little bit. I bet if you do a little bit of pork spread with a little bit of sardine on a shrimp cracker. Hold on.

Okay.

Then you just mash it up. I bet this is actually really good. Really good? I don't know. Well, you put it on. I bet just like this is good.Okay.Okay.Pork and sardine.You're.

Going to throw a chip in, too?Sardine.

And pork and beans.

Throw a chip in with it, or no? I can do a chip. Yeah, that'll probably help. Holy shit.

It's like doing a shot. You just got to breathe in first. Yeah. I'm already having fucking... Do it.

Chew it. Chew it.

Come on, move. You got it. You got it.

It went down. Is that good?

That's good. It was so bad.No? That's good. I'm going to overwhelm it. Yeah. The sardines overwhelmed it. The sardines were like, That's all you can remember. What else do we have? I like that. I don't even know what that is. I'm going to like it. It's olives. Oh, I love olives. I hate olives. Give me an olive. I love olives.

God damn it.

Oh, fuck. My hand can't even open this. Oh, fuck. There's someone watching this going their third-world shaming. Yeah, I know. You're like, No, no, no.

Oh, that smells strong. Olive? Holy shit. The olives? Yeah.

They look really purple. Oh, they smell great.

Really? I love olives. That's good.

That's fucking nice. It's a little bit You're not going to like them. It's a lot of olive. It's like when I like cock and then someone pulls out a twelve-inch cock, and you're like, That's a lot of cock. I said I like cock. I didn't say I like that. That's a lot of olive. If you don't like olives, you're not going to like I'm not going to like it at all.

Fuck.

What olives are these? Yey.

How about this?

What are these? Pineapple, ginger?

That's nice.

What is it?

Jamaican?

Yeah, of course. They all have diabetes. Of course, we're going to like their food. Pineapple, ginger, is there alcohol in this?

I don't know. My stomach hurts.

No. Oh, what are you trying? Olive? If you don't like olives, you're not going to like olives. I see some gelatiny shit over there. Just try an olive. It's a lot of olive. They're super soft, so they melt in your mouth. And then you got to run your teeth over the pit to get the pit out. There's a pit in there. You should know that. I remember eating olives, not knowing there were pits inside them, just fucking going at them. We were like, What's this crunchy part in the center? Okay. That's olive This stays with you. I can taste the olive in my mouth more than the sardine and the pork spread and the shrimp check.

That's really exciting.

Fucking putting this in back in my mouth.

I think we should be done after this.

No, I want to see what else they got because this looks good. What's that? Oh, this is fucking candy. Okay.

This looks good.

This Gelatinous Membrilio.

Yeah.

Okay. Just pop it in and let it run around your teeth. Let it your playing tag.

I hate olives.For real?Yeah.

I love olives, and those olives are pretty aggressive.

I like olive oil.

Everyone likes olive oil.

I know. But I think it's weird that I like olive oil, and I'll even like an olive oil, like topanot.

Yeah, but it's different olive, I think. I'm scared. You're going to be fine. You've had worse in your mouth. What's the worst thing you've ever had in your mouth?

I don't want to think about it. It tastes terrible.

That tastes really bad. It's an aggressive olive. It's not like the olives you normally have. They're purple. Normally, olives are black. I think it's been in brine, and it's been in brine too long. This fucking pineapple-ginger beer is fucking amazing.

Where the fuck is this from?

Peru. Fuck them. Those are your people. I don't like them anymore. Your mom grew up eating those. A handful. She'd go to school, she'd got a handful of olives and pop them in her mouth. Walk up to Machu Picchu.

I'm I'm going to stick to Jamaica.

The Jamaicans got it down, man. Jamaicans know what the fuck is going on. If you had to be one Black guy from one country, what Black country would you pick to be from? Jamaica. Everyone picks Jamaica. Kenya.

Kenya? I just want to run like the wind.

If you're from Kenya, you have one of those hard-to-pronounce names that starts with an N, and you're like, Nguiqui? Yeah. You're like, I'd rather be Jamaica. They're like, Yo, Travis. Travis, come here, buddy. Boom, the clock. Travis, got a big blue Irish oil.

Those white guys from Jamaica are fucking the shit. Who? When you ever meet, there's white people from Jamaica.

The people that settled the land?

No, just like the population has white people there, too. No.

Yeah. No. Yeah. Not like people that work at the hotels.

I met this white girl from Jamaica.

Hold up hot white Jamaican check. Yeah. God damn it. That sounds sexy already. Holy shit. Except then you got to go into every chicken spot with her going, I want that boomer class. Not the fucking ugly one. There we go. No, why? But you want to hear him speak, man. I want to hear him speak. I want to hear a hot white Jamaican check. Go full chat, Hanks.

But go to videos.

Oh, dude, there's a one.

Look at her. Both of those are going to be white girls. Well, we got to put our... Fuck, fuck, fuck. Hold on. Yeah. That's fucking...

She does not look look Jamaican.

No, I know, but listen.

Chicken, no? At the end of it, when I got done everything already, I got to throw a teaspoon of brown sugar in the sauce and mix it with me. I've already done chicken. Oh, wow. I believe brown sugar is a flavor enhancer. In a day, if you make the dish sweet, it just increases the flavor. You cook or you like, because sugar is optional. If you're not like sugar, you're just not put it in here. You don't see white chicks like that. You know how many fist fights you get into with her order? And me want some pizza. And they're like, Can you just do it the way we do it? They're right behind us. Me want them Boomba Clot. Those rude boys behind me, not a fuck them, boy.

If she was here in the States, people would think she's doing a bit. Of course.

It's Chet Hanks. Chet Hanks. You ever seen Chet Hanks do Boombaclots?

He does that?

Are you serious? No, I haven't seen him. By the way, he's someone I want to fucking party with.Chet Hanks?Fuck. You want to talk about Berkrise, your geeking out? If I run into Chet Hanks-He's getting the full treatment?

Yeah.

He's getting top to bottom. He's going to ask me to walk away, pulling Chet Hanks doing Patois. Oh, my God. Chet Hanks doing Patois is one of my favorite things ever.

I feel like when you have a... You drink too much, you puke hours. No. That feeling afterwards, that come down. I was like, Oh, it's all gone now. That's how I feel from how violently I've been spitting this up.

It's pretty here. Yeah. Big up the whole island, massive. It's your boy, Chet, man. Coming straight from that golden globe, your heart's in. We've seen it for that time. I'm not going to say it's in a while.

Too far away come.

Big up, tune in. Yeah. Do you think there's any Black people that are like, That was good?

I mean, I That didn't sound terrible, right?

It sounds like he knows what he's doing.

Yeah, I mean, he's claiming it's because he dated someone? Is that what he's saying? That's his explanation, that it was a girlfriend?

I guess. I don't know. I don't need him to explain it. Yeah. I don't know. I don't need him to explain it. It's You see, if Chet gets such a pass because of all of his dad's work for me, that he can do whatever he wants. You ever seen when he got beat up by his girlfriend? She hit him with a pot on his head.

Like a cooking pot?

Yeah. She hit him with a pot, and he was bleeding. He had speak Patois when the cop showed up.

There's video of that, too.

She fucking hit me, man. She fucking hit me with a pot. He does 75 hard. He did? Yeah, it was the first time I ever heard of it. Watch it? Yeah.

Holy shit. Did I take a cool enough? Not at all. No, not at all. Can I tell you something? You pushed me. It's really hard.

Look at him. This is not Patois face.

I know, but this is really hard to have been hit like that, be bleeding, and not want to make a video in that moment. What's he say here?

You're trying to flip the story.

When I'm done with your ass.

She just attacked me with a knife. You want to get out of my face. She just attacked me with a knife. There's the proof. She's mad because I caught her stealing. Stealing my money, taking my credit cards and charging her rent to them, all this shit like that. Poor Chad.

Jesus Christ.

It makes you really upset when somebody does that. I didn't think he should have done patouat to her there. I'm going to beat your ass. I'm going to be there like your mama put water.

When you make a little chicken, you put some brown sugar in it?We did.Is that Irish? What did I just do?

Put some brown sugar. I love that the group was, I found brown sugar really brings the flavor out. It does it, really. When we went to Tripflops, it was such a shit show. I love the guys that produced it, but at times...

I just ran into somebody that worked for you on that, a camera guy. He was at the UFC, and he was like, Hey, man. He goes, I'm-Is he a sound guy? I thought he was a... Maybe he was a sound guy. Short guy?

Yeah. Yeah, sound guy. Eric Beanie. He's fucking hilarious. We were in Jamaica, and they're like, We're going to take you to the Blue Ivory Hole. It's a very magical hole where they're soothing properties with the water that will calm you down and heal your body. But it's be delivered by an authentic Jamaican. So we were like, Great. We drive up these back roads all the way up to the top. We get there. There's five Black dudes sitting on a park bench. None of them look like sorcerers. They're all just regular dudes. We find out that we have offered our services to the guy who's not in charge. Then they start yelling in patois to each other, I'm the one who gives the bath. You don't give the bath. He's You're going to go boom, boom, boom, boom, boom He does? Knocks him unconscious and goes, I'll be performing this ceremony.We.

Just watch this.And the travelers are like...

They're like, Then he takes us to what I could only call a clogged sewage drain. We sit in a clogged sewage drain, and he bathes us. He just washes us down. There's huge condoms in there. It's so disgusting. All of us are afraid of getting beaten.

You're like, Oh, this energy feels right. Thank you. I feel so cleansed.

It feels so good. Then we just got everyone's safe, and we just left. It was horrible. That was like, But Jamaica is really beautiful. Jamaica is pretty fucking cool.

Where were you? In Kingston?

I have no idea. No. I've never I paid attention to anywhere I was ever when I did Travel Channel.Ever?Never. I never paid attention. I remember hearing Rogan, some guy did a whole episode on Rogan about going to the biggest cave in the world. I was like, I think I've been there. Then he showed a picture, and I was like, Yeah, I've definitely been there. I've been to the biggest cave in the world. I hiked 6 hours into the Vietnamese jungle, spent the night in some cave, and then hiked out, and I just forgot about it.Forgot.I'll tell stories to people that I forgot that I did on Travel channel. Someone was like, I'm talking about redwoods, and I went, Yeah, I remember I jugged up to the top of a redwood to bungey jump out of it, and I got stuck up there because a windstorm came in. I was at the top of a fucking redwood. How tall are redwoods? They're like 300 feet, and I'm holding on to the top of a fucking redwood, and a windstorm comes in. It's just me just 350 feet up in the air, holding on. I held on so hard.

I cut all the insides of my arm, and I bit by a spider the night before on the back of the head. I was sweating, panicked. Then they're like, All right, you want a bungee jump down? I was like, Get me the fuck out of here. We had to jug up to the top of that. You know what jugging is? Yeah. Where you... It was the most exhausting thing. Did you bungee jump? No, fuck. Then we The first dude, first traveler, bungee jumped, and he hit the fucking tree. He hit the tree, and then they were like, You're next. I was like, I'm going to jug down. I just rebelled down. I was like, I'm fucking done. So many things we did on that show. I remember the very In the first episode, we brought two people out to swim with whale sharks, and it was a black couple, and the black guy couldn't swim, but he was too proud to tell us he couldn't swim. He didn't want to tell anyone he couldn't swim, and he thought the light, the...

Like scuba suit?

The suit would hold him up in the water, and he jumped in and just sank, and our fucking sound guy had to jump in and rescue him. When you can't swim, the panic, the words that come out are so real. I think his first words were mama. Really? We were like, What? And he just started thinking. And then this check was like, Come on, let's go look at whale sharks. And then me and her scuba dived around or swam around. After that? Dude, we had this Mexican couple. This is the hardest I've ever laughed, and it was really tragic. We were running. We were taking snowmobiles on a lake. So a snowmobile can get going fast enough that'll keep you going on a lake, but it's counterintuitive. In order to turn right, you really got to turn left. For whatever reason, that's how you turn. And the guy said, Do not let go of the throttle. You're going to want to let go of the throttle. Do not let go of the throttle. And just whatever you think, turn the other way. There's this. Mech, Mexican couple we have met in Arizona, and they were pretty Mexican.

And so the guy gets on. He's got jeans on because he's like, You won't get wet. And they I'm on. I wish we had footage of this. If someone could find the footage, it's the funniest thing I've ever seen. The guy goes, Whatever you do, turn left and punch it. The guy goes, Okay, and guns it. And fucking flew across the lake and hit a tree. He broke his shoulder. And as he's going across the lake, his girlfriend says to me, He not going to swim. He couldn't swim. So he's so scared. He just got in and hit a fucking thing. And it was like days of our lives. Smoke came out everywhere. We took him to the hospital. He was so bad. He had to do the rest of his show with a sling. Then as soon as he rocked it, she goes, It's my turn. I was like, You want to go? That show was reckless as fuck.

Jesus Christ. They must have signed their lives away, right?

We took a black dude to a Civil War reenactment.

What?

The The first day we got there, we were like, he was from Alaska, and we took him to South Carolina. We're like, Today, we're doing a Civil War reenactment. I don't think I had put the weight on what that would mean to him. He goes, What team are we on? I said, I don't think we're on the good one. Those guys did not break character, and they were playing like it was '18, fucking '17, '70 or whatever. And then I said to him, I go, Don't worry. I go, I appreciate you being so cool. It can't get worse. The next thing we did is we took him an old plantation to test out if it was haunted. And I said, So you guys are going to stay in the back house, which were at one time slave quarters. You're going to be staying in there to see if it was haunted.

You guys didn't really think this went out, though. It sounds like...

The owner of this plantation murdered all his slaves because they were sleeping with his daughters, and this guy's girlfriend was white. And we put them in bed, and this guy woke up in a fucking panic throughout the... We had cameras everywhere. The guy did not sleep at all.How.

Did that episode do?Good.

We did Red Neck Olympics with a bunch of fucking dimes, like dimes, and they all were next to nothing. We were next to nothing. Everyone was covered in mud. Everyone was rubbing all over each other. It was pretty fucking hot.Nice.It.

Was pretty fucking hot.Cool.Yeah..

Shout out to that guy. He hit me in the dick with a snowball once.The black guy?Black guy hit me in the dick with a snowball. I thought my dick exploded.

Where were you for that?In.

Alaska.we.

Were doing-You went Alaska, too?

Yuki Gassen. That's where I first met the guy. He threw a snowball and hit me in my dick, the head of my dick, and I thought it exploded in my pants. My hands were so cold, I couldn't feel it. I really thought my dick exploded. I had told the producer, Lonnie, I had told her the night before, she goes, What if you need a cup? I go, No, I don't need a cup. No one's going to hit me in the balls. She goes, What if they hit you in the dick? I go, You get my head, my hammer. You get my head of my dick with a hammer, I wouldn't feel it. You don't feel your dick. It's your balls you're worried about. Then when it hit me in the dick, She came up, and I'm going, I think I hurt my dick. I hurt my dick. And then, like a fucking asshole, she goes, I thought I could hit you in the head of the dick. You're either your hammer and you wouldn't feel it. And I was like, I can feel it. I can feel it. Those things were rocks.

Have you seen that video of that? I think He's a Japanese pitcher throwing the snowball.

Oh, into the board?

He throws it out of a wall. Yeah. And you're like, Yo. It was like a 90-mile-an-hour snowball.

I saw a picture of a bunch of Yale graduates after a snowball fight in the 1700s, and they looked like they had been beat to fuck. Have you ever been in a snowball fight?

Yeah, of course. Really? I mean, I grew up in Minnesota and Milwaukee. Yeah, snowing all the time there.

I've been in Yuki Gassen, which is a professional snowball fight.

A professional snowball fight?

Yeah, type in Yuki Gassen, it's like, good luck spelling that, but they make the snowballs, and then they sit there in the cold. Harden? And they're rocks. They're fucking rocks.

No, that sucks.

And this black dude that played with us. I wish I remembered his name. He's the same guy we took to the plantation. It's fucking intense.

Dude, see if you can find that pitcher throwing that.

Look at this guy. This guy.

Imagine if you're like, All right, let's do a little snowball fight. And he's like, Okay, sure. Fucking A, dude.

The black dude I'm telling you about played Minor League Base. Oh, really? He played Minor League Base. He had a baseball. He had grown up in Alaska. He had never been to Lower 48. He played Minor League Baseball, and he threw gas, and he hit me in the head of my dick, and I tried to jump over it, and it fucking... I thought it ruptured. I thought my dick would look like Frankenstein, where they'd sew it back together.Was.

It bruised? It must have been sensitive.No..

I fell off the bed having sex with Leanne the other day, and I landed on my ass on a razor blade, and I have a cut today on my ass.

Why you have a razor blade on the floor? Long story, Tommy. Okay.

Long story. Just cleaning people up. Yeah, cleaning people up. My mouth is still watering from that last bite.

The smell of this trash can is just really starting to affect me.

We got to try this one. I don't even know how to get into this.

What is it? Can we say what it is What's that?

I can't. You tell me.

That's so heavy.

It's a lot of calories. What is that?

My mouth is still watering.

Oh, it's a dessert.

La Campanola Nembrillo. Oh, this one. Gelatin dessert from Argentina.

This will walk into your mouth like a fucking parade. Okay. This is your dessert. This is what you authentically would have had as a child growing up. Truly, true. How do you get into it?

That's a good question. How do you get into this?

Where the fuck do you get this? I think you just crack it open.

You're the chess master. Can't you figure this out? Yeah.

Let me take a Bobby Fischer approach to this.

Yeah, thanks.

Yeah, there's a seal here.

There you go. Is that going to be disgusting, too? Fucking shit. I'm all fucking grossed out for today.

I said we just get a knife and open it up. Please don't be gross. See how to open it?

Are we going to watch YouTube videos?

You'd think the top would pop up.

What about where you pealed? That didn't go across? No.

It looks really good. Membrillo. What's that mean in Spanish?

It's a thick red jelly made from... What does that say?

Quince?

15-year-old pussy? Yeah, perfect to spread.

It's authentically an Argentinian quinceañera. Does everyone have a quinceañera? Just Mexicans?

No, it's a lot in Latin America. It's pretty popular. Really? Yeah. Maybe not everywhere, but a lot of them do.

Do you have a can opener? I bet you need a can opener. You think so?

Can we grab one?

Yeah. It looks good. Fuck. La Campanayalo. Do you think they have dyslexic Japanese people? What? Do you think they have dyslexic Japanese people?

Yeah, I think it's probably everywhere. Really? Yeah.

That's got to be even harder.

With those letterings? Yeah.

What do you think is the easiest language to read?

To read? Yeah. Probably ours.

I bet Arabic is hard as fuck.

Yeah, it's probably hard.

It's like Sanskrit, right?

Yeah, and then flip for us, right? Because they go the other direction.

Wait, did they ever grow up from Sanskrit?

Sanskrit? Yeah.

Is it just the same? It's been thousands of years?

I'm sure it's evolved some. Because also every Arabic country speaks it a little differently.

What's their L-O-L? Hey, see what Sanskrit L-O-L is? What are the Asian things where they go BRB?

Right. Do they have that shorthand?

I don't think people realize how brilliant When I am on this podcast.

No, you're great.

That's a legit... There we go. That's a legit question.

Yeah. Opening it up. Bobby Fischer cracked the code. Yep.

I know Japanese people laugh with Ws. Like, W, W, W, W, W? Yeah.

Instead of H, A, H, A, H, A, they just do W, W, W, W. What's being said?

I don't hear anything.Took my ear.Oh, he said, Japanese people laugh with their eyes closed.Oh.No.This is good. Yeah, you did. Can everyone else hear you? Yeah. Whoa, this is pretty solid.

Yeah.

It's not like jelly. I think you need a sliver.Oh.

Wow.wow. Okay. You're going to try a little piece.

A little? No. Buddy, we're getting fucking cake bites. Here's yours. It's a dessert.

Right.

The other-What fruits are big in South America.

That's not going to be bad. This will be fine.

Oh, it's fruit rollup. Fruit rollup? It's a fucking fruit rollup. Oh, this is really good.

Oh, yeah. Thank God. Fuck.

This is really good. It's a fruit rollup.

Thank God, I'm not throwing up.

That's actually really tasty. Do South America for the fucking win.

I bet those balls aren't so great.

What balls?

The ones right there. What are those?

That's actually really tasty.

Argentina for the win.

We know it's better if we don't know. Yeah. Ready? Blind taste now. Pop one in your mouth and tell me what you think it is. All right. Same time.

Okay. Cheese. That's not bad.

That's not bad at all.

What is that?

I don't know. Besitos. Casaba snack, Colorsion de Look at that.

Look at Zola pulled up. Www is the Japanese equivalent of English ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, that's what I actually said, not what Bird said.

Oh, yeah.

How did you know that?

I don't know. I was watching someone. Someone fucks Japanese pussy. Someone's trying to get in the chat thread about fucking Pokémons, and he's just, WWW. How do you say it in Sanskrit? What's L-O-L in Sanskrit?

How Why are we just Arabic? Why are we going only to-Is it not Sanskrit, what they write in? No. Go ahead.

Just type in L-O-L in different languages. See, Sanskrit's the thing. The French do MDR.

I can't see a fucking thing. Okay. Oh, yeah.

Mort-de-ria. Mort-de-ria.

Dying of laughter. Rs in Portuguese. Asg in Swedish.

Asg.

Mkm in Farsi and Dari.

Okay. In Iran, they're like, MKM. You're not going to blow up the whole plane. Okay.

In Chinese,23.

23. They just use numbers? Yeah. Fucking Chinese, man. They're like two steps ahead of us, one step behind. We'll be doing that in the future, but we're not doing it now. But in the future, we'll be like 233.

233, man. I mean, we used to do that with 143, right?

Oh, we as a-1:43? Yeah, 1:43, I love you on the beeper. Remember that?

Oh, no. No. 1:12. Okay. Oh, man. Okay. I feel so sick.

I feel good. That fruit rollup really saved the day.It really cleansed my palate.Thank you.

That was very helpful, actually.

What do you think they all taste like together?

No.

Like just one mashup. You are? Well, we are. One mashup on a shrimp roll. I bet the fruit... I got to be honest with you. I bet the fruit compliments the sardine in a way we couldn't expect. I'll do a fucking caution. Let me see that olive.

Oh, fuck. The olive is worse.

Here we go.

Oh, fuck. It's on your hands.

Oh, my God. It's like fucking...

Here.

It's like a hot pussy. Wow. I don't know if I can do it. The smell of the fucking sardine already got me.

We already did it. You don't have to do it again. It's so aggressive. You don't have to do it again.

Everyone watching is like, Do it one more.

All right. Okay.

Take this. A little bit of this.

Let me see you do it. Oh, my God, Bert.

I bet this isn't that bad. Oh, yeah. Okay, should we try just the fruit rollup and the sardine? Okay. I think it's going to taste pretty good. You want it on a chip?

You go first.

Chip or raw dog?

I think... I don't know. You do it like that.

Oh, fuck. It fucking sardine ruins it.

Yeah, no shit.

Should try it. Just try a little bit. God damn it, man. Fucking sardines. Get a lot of fruit roll up.

Yeah.

Yeah, good call. That's a really good call. I just go full fruit roll up, and they shove a sardine inside it. Oh, man, that sardine is fucking overwhelming. A little sardine goes a long way. There you go. There you go. That's the bite you want. Focus on the fruit rollup. Focus on the fruit rollup. There you go. Yeah. You look like you're about to cry.

There's so much fruit rollup.

You sound like a child. It's all like for rollup.

The sardine still comes through. It's so bad. Amazing. You did it. Yeah, but the sardine is in my It's so bad. It's so disgusting.

It's so bad.

Fuck you, Morocco.

2, 3, 3. 2, 3, 3.

2, 3, 3. 2, 3, 3. 2, 3, 3.

Mkm. Mkd. Oh, my God. Thank God, Jamaica is here. Jamaica, you save the day every time. Thank you so much for your pineapple ginger juice.Thank you, Chad.We should do a live two bears out of Jamaica.That'd.

Be amazing.

You can't come down. It's just for Jamaican people.Thank.

You, Chad Hanks.

Thank you, Jamaica.Thank you to all the white girls, Patua.Oh.

My God.We got to meet one of them.That's.

So fucking good. That's so fucking good. I'm having another one. It's cheese bowls.

Oh, thank God. You didn't say something else. Here you go. This is my gift to you.

Well, if you've ever watched a show and said, We're not cultured enough. You know, now, we're very open-minded gentlemen. If you have something in your hometown that you guys eat that you'd like to send to us, send it to us and we'll do a taste test. Be it head cheese or some of the stuff that the Inuit eat, we're like a salmon eyeball. We're in. That fucking sardine won't stop. I think sardines, I don't think there's any saving grace for sardines.

That was so bad.

Can you imagine kissing a chick who loves sardines?

Oh, fuck, dude.

She was like, Oh, I just had sardines. I dated a chick one time. I thought she ate baloney all the time. Then I spent the night at her house, and she was like, Can I get you something to eat? I was like, I might as well have a baloney sandwich. She was like, I don't eat baloney. I was like, Oh, that's what she fucking smells like. Her natural smell was baloney.

Her natural smell?

Yeah. It's not that bad if you like baloney.

It's not that bad. It's better than sardines.

A lot of mayonnaise on a baloney sandwich isn't bad with white bread. Do you think there's a I'm on a podcast in Pakistan right now where they're trying mayonnaise, and they're like, Why people eat this? And there's just spoonfuls of mayonnaise. They're like, No wonder they die so quick, and I'll have type 2 diabetes. Let's try a cheeseburger.

Let's get out of here, dude. All right. I feel really sick. Congrats on beating diabetes. Thank you guys for watching and listening. I'm going to have to go try to read. It's in my teeth.

I'm going to have to brush my teeth for the first time today. I didn't want to brush them before this. I'm glad I didn't.

It's stuck.

I'm going to try to kiss Leanne.

Do it right now. That sounded deep.

I thought you were going to throw up. I thought he was going to throw up, too. It's still coming. It's coming up. Hold on. Hold on. No, it stopped.

All right, let's go eat lunch. All right, let's go. All right, love you. Love you. Bye.

Bert and Tom, Tom and Bert. One goes to the top as while the other wears a shirt. Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean. Here's what we call Two bears, one cave.