We have killed generations of people for golf courses. There's a bomb and wait, what?

Like you just start panicking? Wow, there's a bomb threat.

That guy.

Hundred percent.

Well, folks, it is official. Bert has type two diabetes. Make sure you support the American Diabetes association and help Burt and others fight this terrible, terrible disease in his place. You guys know him as sickle cell. Give it up for Ryan Sickler. Hell yeah.

From type two diabetes to sickle cell.

I mean, there's a lot of diseases.

A lot of diseases do you know, and this is embarrassing to even admit, and I can't believe I'm going to say this to you or your audience, but my last name is Sickler as you know, and that's why you call me sickle cell. But I didn't know and just until the last year that someone with sickle cell is actually called a sickler. No.

Yeah.

Did you know that? No, I didn't either. A doctor told me that. He's like, you know what Sickler is, right? And I was like, I just kind of found out. It's like what they call people with sickle cell.

He's like, yeah, so somebody hasn't. They're like, he's a sickler. Yeah. So you are sickle cell. Yeah.

I mean, if sickle cell was a.

Person, I guess among emergency physicians, use of the term sickler is associated with negative attitudes towards people with sickle cell disease.

Haters.

Yeah, it's haters. It's been a fucking wild year, dude. I go back to being on tour. I remember exactly where I was. I remember I had checked in at this hotel in Perth in Western Australia and you called me from the hospital really distraught, I mean emotional. And you went through this whole horrific ordeal that you thought you were going to die.

Yeah, they did too.

It's really scary. From one surgery to from one.

They called it a procedure. You'll be at this in my stand up 3 hours and you're going home and you're going to be great.

And how long did you end up staying?

Almost a month.

Yeah.

And I called you, I talk about that on stage calling you because the thing was my phone was dead. And they brought me a phone. Phone. And I was like, this is how I grew up.

Yeah, real phones.

Real phones. And I knew everyone's number and I still have numbers in my head like 2425, 765-492-2147 I. They're still in there. 1573. And today I don't know anyone's because I don't repeatedly put that pattern in my head. I just do this or say this. Yeah.

Wait, how did you know? Do you know my number?

No. I finally was able to charge.

Oh, you did? Okay.

But I was like, can somebody bring me a charger? Because my phone's dead. And they were like, you and your phone are about to have a lot in common. I was like, step back, step back. I got blue shield silver.

Talking to.

Me like I got Kaiser permanente right now.

It went from. I remember surgery. This didn't go right to another. There's all back stuff, and then there's like, oh, we got some new shit to tell you about. Yeah. Got some blood. Yeah.

Then the clots happen. My whole lungs clot. And it pushes on my heart. My heart swells up, and then I pass out. I collapse in the hospital on the bed, and I wake up and they're.

Like, we need to get you out of here. We need this bed free. Come on, man.

And then I'm laying on the very fucking thing I went in there for originally for weeks. So my back is not getting any. But look, my clots are gone.

Yes, I was going to say. So now it's healthy.

How is the back?

It should be better. Do you have restrictions? Are there things that.

Yeah, I can't. I'll feel pain after a ten minute walk.

A ten minute walk. So you can't run or anything like that?

No, I can't ride a bike yet.

I was going to ask you that.

Bike not allowed to do any of that.

What's the bike restriction? For the back or for the back?

Everything's back now. The lungs are. Everything clear and blood are all good.

We didn't give you your fucking artwork.

Oh, I get artwork. I was looking at Garth's baseball card up there.

Sorry. This is a huge sin.

Is that a fucking thing for your dick right there? What is that hanging? Looks like a dick hole. Penetrator.

Yeah.

You're opening this fresh.

Fresh? This fresh out of the plastic fresh for you, my man.

Oh, hell, yeah. All five fucking foot six of them, right?

Six three right there, brother.

Oh, I see. It's got a handle on it.

You could fuck somebody up with that. Oh, you really can't? Yeah.

Oh, man, that is pointy shit.

I swing it around the house sometimes with the boys just to keep them in check, let them know dad ain't fucking playing.

That's alpha as fuck right there.

Yeah. Holy shit. No joke. So.

Yeah, anyway, all is well.

All is well. But the back is the big hold up now. Okay.

We'll get there by the end of the year. I'll be there. Yeah, I think so.

Like, be able to do more?

Yeah. I've been in physical therapy since I got out of the hospital. I've been in pt three.

What do they have three times a week still?

For eight months now.

And it's all back related stuff you do.

And I don't want to bore your audience, but it's like, here's what I can't believe I'm learning in my 50s, how to walk properly. Like the way my feet strike the ground, like, no. I also have charcoat Marie tooth disease in my leg. CMT, bro. So we're working against all kinds of shit.

What is that?

That's a disease. It's very common.

You can look it up.

They call CMT. It's three doctors, charcoal Marie and tooth. Throws it all off. Don't know why it's in there.

Charcoal Marie Tooth disease, one of the group of disorders that cause damage to the peripheral nerves, the nerves that transmit information and signals from the brain and spinal cord to and from the rest of the body, as well as sensory information such as touch back to the spinal cord and brain. So you have this?

I have this. So this is something I was born with.

Oh, really? Yeah, this is a hereditary, but was dormant or something. Or like, did you know you had. No.

Yeah, I knew I had this. So classification of this too. They always say your calves look like inverted champagne bottles. That's exactly what my calves look like. I played soccer my whole life. I should have tree trunk calves. I don't have the muscle and the layers of muscle in there for that build. And you're kind of close to being. I will never forget. You're going to like this. So my dad had it and his father had it. Yeah, see, I have crazy high arches like that. Like my top, my foot's normal, but my arch is like really high right there. Crazy high.

Damn.

So I walk fucked up sometimes. My feet will look at on every step.

Yeah, that's like the poster. The poster is the ten years. Ten years. That's a foot. Yeah, those are 2ft. They're like, put the feet up there. That's my. Show them who we are. I have that. What about factor five, man?

Got that also. That's what I found out later. I had.

That's the blood one.

That's the blood genetic one that you guys willfully gave me by pushing sickle cell on me.

We got a sickler over here in room three.

So my dad takes us to this study in Hopkins. So it's before, I'm probably 14, because he died. I'm 16, so it's probably 14 years old. And my younger brother is what? Eleven at the time. We all go to get tested for this shit. And you're doing treadmill tests and stuff, and they're doing wicked shit where they're taking needles and they're putting it right in the arch of your foot.

Damn.

And they're testing your reaction as to when you should feel it versus, you know what? You should feel it versus a person. With this, I will never forget. They put needles in between the webs of your toes. And one of the things that hurt the worst is on your outside ankle bone. They take this electric prod and they fucking put it right on that bone.

And you're ha.

Like that. And it's how long you took to respond. We got a CMT house of.

He jumped.

So my dad, we're all in the room while this doctor's telling us what we have and what it is, and he's like, you're basically a step away from being Jerry's kids. My dad goes, hey, boys, leave the room. We walk right outside. Just put our ear up on that door. My dad lit this motherfucker.

He did. For talking to you like that, for.

Saying, jerry's kids, the keys, like, what the fuck do you think you're doing? Who the fuck do you think you're. We were like, oh, yeah. Like, he's getting trouble. Like, we get in trouble. We're out there dying. Like, oh, dad's going off of this motherfucker. Told us we were all Jerry's kids. That's his bedside matter.

I bet he.

And here, you know what? It might be karma. I can't even believe I remember this. It might be karma because when my parents first got divorced, it's crazy that a doctor said, he said those words to our faces and with, like, just trying to make you understand where what's going on.

You also have helmets.

You let us draw. Are we Jerry's kids? My dad said, hey, guys, leave the room and fucking just rip this dude apart. So my parents split in fifth grade. So in 6th grade, my mom takes us and we live in this. It's a hallway apartment. Someone just told me recently, it's called a railroad apartment or something like that. It's just a hallway with rooms cut off. We live in this dump, and this kid, we meet one of these neighborhood kids, you know, he's trouble. But we're like, we don't know anybody. We're going to hang out with this kid, and he shows up at our door one day with all this fucking change and a couple of dollars of cash and shit. We're like, where'd you get that money? He's like, oh, I've just been going door to door telling people I'm collecting for Jerry's kids. And I go, you can do that?

He goes, yeah.

Are you giving it to Jerry's kids? He's like, no. I'm like, I don't think you can do that. So we start going and collecting with them.

You do?

We collect so much fucking change for Jerry's kids. And we go home, and my dad sees it.

He's like, where the fuck you guys.

Get all that money? We're like, oh, man. We've been going door to door just telling people we're collecting for Jerry's kids. He's like, are you giving it to Jerry's kids? We're like, no. He's like, you can't do that. That's illegal, and you're going to get arrested.

We're like, what?

So my dad tells us that they can fingerprint change. My brother and I dump it all in the tub and we scrub it. My dad is laughing his ass. We're in there scrubbing these fucking. Dude, we had like, a five gallon bucket of change. We went to McDonald's and we fucking gave it to him for the Ronald McDonald.

Yeah.

People are like, these kids are so nice. My dad's like, I'm not trying to go to prison. They're not.

They're not good kids.

They're like, this money's sparkling. I mean, we were just in there scrubbing change because we thought they could fingerprint that shit. 10 million fingers have been on that shit. That's what you get.

It's karma.

Now I got that shit for collecting, Jerry.

That's what you did. You did it. Holy shit, man.

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Well, I'm glad you're doing better. Thank you. That was a scary time.

That was a scary time, but I'm good.

Scary time. I'm going to get another test done on my arm.

Yeah, we talked about this, where you said you might get a little bridge to bridge.

The tattoo scar. Well, the tattoo scars, but. So what they're going to do is they told me. So when I do certain movements, I still feel.

How many years has it been now?

Two and a half? Almost three. Yeah.

And you still are fucked up.

No, I'm way. But if I do certain movements and, like, certain weight, I'll be like, oh, I'm fine. And then I'll get to a heavier weight, and I'm like, I'm not fine. And what happens is you start to. It's a natural thing that anybody would do. Like, you're not even conscious of it. Your body starts to compensate. So. Right. If I were to push you this way, because the external rotation does it a lot to me, I'll pivot. I won't be able to do it like I would with my right hand. And I get these weird sensations when I'm doing certain movements. So what they're going to do is they're going to numb a nerve in my arm permanently. No, but it lasts, like, six to 8 hours. Okay. So I won't have any use of my left arm. Oh, no use. Yeah. And when they numb it, they try to isolate the nerve and they scan it, and then they try to see if there's scar tissue around that. Because the idea is that maybe what's going on is that I have some compression from scar tissue, and then it's just as simple as, like, a small incision, scrape away scar tissue, and maybe that pain goes away.

That's exactly what they're telling me about the pain in my back. Now, it could be scar tissue from the surgery hitting my nerves, and they want to give me two epidurals.

Yeah. So I'm flying out to LA in a couple of weeks.

I got to go do that shit, too.

Yeah, but I'll be just like this for like a day.

Just one armed.

Hey, man, let me get a coffee.

You just got to sling it up.

You can't.

You should just flap it around, lay it everywhere.

Talk shit to me, man. Yeah, it's crazy that it stays with you. That's my favorite watch.

You got to drag.

Drag it back off.

You have no power to even pull your own arm back.

I better put everything in my right pocket before that day starts.

Everything.

It's going to be that sensation, you know, you fall asleep on your arm. Yeah. Right. You got to wait for it to come alive. It's going to be like that.

Sleep on the plane coming here, and I had my arms next to the seats, and I guess when I woke up, I couldn't make a fist, and I panicked for a good minute.

Really? I was like, oh, shit, it's the worst sensation. And they're like, prepare for a whole day of it. Just your dead arm.

Feel like you're going to tilt over. I feel like the weight. You won't even feel the weight.

I know. Feel like I should just check into a room and you should just sling.

It up and check in.

Yeah, I'm not looking forward to it.

You got to get that one with the stick on the hips.

Keeps it up. For people that don't know. You can watch Ryan has a special on YouTube called Lefty Son on his YouTube channel. You can watch the honeydew, you can do the Patreon, has the wildest stories that I've ever heard. And you have a new podcast called the way back.

Really fun. It's just nostalgia. It's old school. Talking about growing up and times like that. And that seat in the old school station wagon that faces traffic. I went and got a nice reupholstered seat.

One of those.

Yeah, sit on that. Got my grandma's afghan on there.

We talked about M. Shit.

Talk about firecrackers and bb guns.

Should definitely be dead from that.

Everyone, any human that makes it past.

16, statistically, is pretty amazing.

Pretty amazing.

Do you ever think about that? Like, I don't know, thousand years ago, maybe less that people would, like, live to 15. That was it.

That was it, yeah. That's why when people got married, it was like, happily ever after. We're dying at 32.

30 was. Yeah, that's it.

It's over. I got some shit in my lungs, and it's over. There isn't anything for this.

Yeah, think about many times I've been sick. So many times with sinus infections and stuff.

Pneumonia would have wiped.

Yeah. They've been like, you're just going to die. That's what you have to do. You're going to join everybody who we've ever known. You're going to die.

I think about all the time, too. At some point in time, there will probably be, whether it's computers or whatever we can put in our body, but people will be able to live forever as long as you take care of the structure, be able to live forever. And then we become like the dyers. People talk about, like, oh, yeah, my great great grandfather died.

Yeah.

He was one of the dires.

You're all still living. I don't want to live that long. No. If you can be in. Here's the I think they said. Dr. Drew told me this one time, he just goes, men in their 70s. He's like, men specifically, statistically, just all more so than women, right. If you can't make it through your relatively good health, you're an anomaly at that point.

Is that right? Yeah. Threshold.

Oh, yeah. It keeps bumping up because of technology, medicine, lifestyle, and everything that we learn. But now we're at that age where a lot of friends parents are sick. And almost every time I'm like, how old are they? The guy, it's always 72, 74. That's sort of in the average lifespan. But the average lifespan, like I said, keeps bumping up. But I feel like, man, if you could have a good run in your. Enjoy that decade of life. I hear about people even into their 90s. I'm like, you have to be shitting me.

Yeah. My Aunt Helen lived in her 90s. She was also blind in one eye. Half that jaw was missing from surgery.

You know what I mean?

Quality of life. I'll take 65 over 95. Fucking being in pain every day.

Is that the aunt that shit on the walls?

That's my grandma. When you say it like that, though, that did happen. But she didn't just go around people's homes shitting on walls.

That was at a public place, though, right?

She and a cousin, older cousin, coincidentally, shared a birthday. And so they would just go out for coffee. And she's older at this time in her 60s, they would go out for coffee on their birthdays and just celebrate, her and Jimmy celebrate their birthdays, and they went to this old school place in Baltimore called white coffee pot. It's like this little face, and the guy had a little tongue sticking outside. And it was like a little diner spot. And they go in there, they're having coffee and breakfast, and she's like, oh, my God, my stomach's rumbling.

I'll be right back.

So she goes to the bathroom, and she said she squatted over the toilet and she shit. And she said when she turned around, she was just mortified that it was all over. Like, nothing went in the toilet. It was sprayed all on the wall. And she's like, oh, my God, we.

Got to get out of here.

So she cleans herself up, and as she's running out of the bathroom, the lady to come clean it is coming in. And she said she panicked. And she's like, I don't know why I said anything, but I just went. Some sick son of a bitch in there did that. It's disgusting. And then she runs out and grabs Jimmy, and he's like, I'm not done my breakfast. She said, I'll get you some fucking breakfast somewhere else.

We got to get out of here. We're not coming back to the little tongue again.

A brown coffee pot now.

Fuck, yeah.

So it's stories like that. The whole show is. And it's not a long one, man. It's like 30 minutes the way back. Yeah, I don't want to sit and do 2 hours anymore. We do that with all the other pods and stuff. This is just a fun, quick hitter. We've already got gaffigan recorded, norman Joe list, so many people. There's like 15 episodes already in the bank.

That's nice, man. Yeah. So you'll be ready to go for.

Like, a whole year, rip them for a little while, and have fun. They'll be right on my YouTube and all that stuff.

Dude, I had way back. I had the craziest adrenaline rushed. I was so keyed up on adrenaline that I needed to take a day down for my body to decompress.

Well, that's what I learned with you after that Vegas shit was I thought that would amp me up so much.

Like. Yeah, and it just. All that because we went to, like.

Once, and then I fell asleep on the ride home.

Yeah, because you're so.

And mentally, that night, I legit was, I don't know, maybe half a second. I felt like half a second off.

You're talking about. We went to a track, and we drove.

They drove me back.

But I also remember when we went to one of those places where you can pick exotics, and you picked one, and you're like, I want the most, like, the badass shit. And that guy was like, you don't want this one. You want this.

Yeah, I wanted the one. And he was like, nah, you want this one. And it ended up.

It was an sto. I think it was like a Lamborghini sto, but, like the race spec. And you were like, I'm going to throw up.

I kept telling the guy, I'm going to throw up. He's like, don't throw up in here. He's, like, getting real nervous, and I'm like, look, I'm good on the straightaways. It's when you tell me to go from 132 to 35 in these s turns. It's fucking with me right now. He's like, watch. What was it? Not your gravity, but your rpms? No, on the dash was your. What's the fucking word? I'll think of it later. But it was just the way the car handled, you know what I'm talking about? I can't remember the name of the damn thing. But he's like, you can watch it right there on the screen. So doing that and looking in here and shit, I was like, it's also 120.

And we have a GoPro footage of it.

And then coming around a turn, I go, now, bro. I'm going to throw up. And he goes, okay. And I'm trying to pull off the track, but I'm so close to puking. But I also have a helmet on everything. And he's yelling at me because I'm not in that lane. I'm still kind of on the main track. And he's screaming that we're going to get, like, equilibrium.

That's what it was, okay?

And I'm like, I can't anymore, bro. And I flipped the hell.

And then you're like, I'll drive back. He's like, no.

I open the door and I'm just breathing. And I'm hearing him over there going, yeah, we got one that's going to throw up over here. I'm like, oh, God damn it. And you had paid for ten laps. I'm on lap five. And I'm like, I'm done. He's like, you got five more? I was like, no, I don't. And I never throw up. I'm breathing and I'm like, all right, I'm good. Let me drive back the thing. He's like, you're not driving. And they brought the fucking minivan.

Ashamed.

It was only like 50ft. They fucking drove me back.

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And I went in, you're like, did you have fun? I was a. It was fine.

It was fucking great.

And then I was like, make sure you get your money back.

I did half. They did. They did get me. I thought they were going to pull some okie doke shit on me, but they were like, yeah, we'll give you half back.

That's because he knew. He upsold me. Yeah, but, man, I don't know how you do it, because, like I said, I'm good in straight lines. It's those even carnival rides. I'm good up, down, and shit like that.

Sideways, that shit.

No, man, I can't fuck with that.

I always send you carnival footage. Yeah. Ever since we could be favorite, we start talking about that, about how crazy.

Do you want to know what just happened?

What?

So I took my daughter to the Santa Monica Pier, went with my buddy Jim and his daughter. The four of us go down, make it like a little dad daughter night out. We're down there hanging out, and they want to ride the rides, but I can't ride rides, but I can ride the fucking Ferris wheel. And they got a monster Ferris wheel down there, right? So we get on, and two days later, there's a report of a dude that free climbed up the middle. You know how big that is, right? Look up that. It's called. Says, like, the Pacific Pier or Pacific wheel or something, right? It's a monster fucking Ferris wheel. This dude climbed up to the middle of it there after scaling it.

Right there is the story. That thing. Oh, my God.

He climbed up to the middle of it freehand. Oh, there he is with a backpack on. Look at him. And then said he had a bomb. They had to clear the whole pier, like, all the way out to Santa Monica, like the whole pier. Everybody had to go he didn't have a bomb. And then like two days later, they shut the pier down.

Look at him.

I was on that. Do you know how pissed off I'd have been if the only ride I could get on? Because you know how they made the people get off?

No.

They wouldn't run it because they were scared. They craned them off. So the people that were stuck at.

The top had to get on a crane. Yeah.

And be lowered down.

Fuck that.

I would have been furious if the only ride I could ride after all this shit's that. And this guy did that.

Look at him. Oh, my God.

That fucking crazy.

Also how you learn when you're in it. They're like, get on the crane. And you're like, I don't want. Put me down. And they're like, there's a bomb. And wait, what? You just start panicking? Wow.

It's a bomb threat, that guy. And then the crane just going like this right next to the bomb, by the way. Now your face is near it.

There it is. There's someone on the crane. Look at.

I'm telling you, dude.

Fuck. Right?

I would say, no. You wheeled this motherfucker. I'll take my chances.

Oh, my God. Look at that. Dude. That's insane.

And that's not just some carnival ride. That's a landmark, for God's sake.

Wonder what kind of charge that is.

Well, you got terrorism because you say you got a bomb. So that's in there. There's a lot of charges probably going on to that trespassing. Look, they got the arrow. Look at them. Who's up there taking that? Is that the crane guy?

It's just a dude out of work, too. He's just like, I haven't been doing shit in a while. I need to go do something today.

That'S all planned out. Everything.

Fuck. Who got that picture?

Because if that's the crane operator, I'm like, bro, pay attention. Stop snapping selfies.

Over.

Yeah, lower my.

Hello. Shout out to, I want to hear about this Philip Lee. So Philip is a chef. Michelin star chef. Lives here in Austin. He has sushi by scratch, which is in a bunch of cities now.

Is that where you and I went? So he's down here with that as well?

Yes. And he opened pasta bar here. That's him right there. So he's like, hey, I'm doing some shit for Red Bull. Do you want to come? On f one weekend, they're hooking all this up. And I was like, fuck, yes. So we go to this event they have at Oracle first, where we're standing there and they're doing like, promotional stuff. And then you just see over the horizon a helicopter come into view and it's carrying an f one car. And I'm like, you've got to be shitting me. Yeah. Air, look it up. F one Red Bull car in Austin flying. The guy flew it through. It was actually really crazy to see in person.

You're just seeing it come in on a chopper hanging.

Yeah. And that's it right there, bro. This guy flew it around Brandon. That's his name. I met him afterwards.

I was like, I want to meet the chopper pilot.

I don't give a fuck about any of these drivers after this. This is the craziest thing I've ever seen. So he flew that through the city and then lowered it into the promotion site at was. It was really impressive.

I mean, what a fucking.

They're the best at promotion.

I was going to say, what a billboard. What an advertisement for what's going on. What the hell is that up? And that's an f one car?

Yes, an f one car.

Nuts.

That was day one. Then the next day he's like, meet me at this. We go to a gun range park, and the Red Bull chopper lands behind the range and flies us. You see the chopper? This is like this. They have it all wrapped, but they just pick us up in that.

I wouldn't go in that.

That's an r 44. It's great. Those are great.

No, they just took the doors. I'd just be waving at your ass up there.

Have fun.

Tom talked to you about it on the podcast. We flew. You got in that?

Yeah, we flew out to this place.

How many people's we in there? It looks like four of us. That one we were in was tiny and there were five of us.

Which one?

The one we flew to Santa Monica, to the San Bernardino.

Oh, no, that was bigger than this.

Yeah, I'm saying. And I felt like that was. That looks tiny. That looks like a trash can.

Look at it. It does.

It's got one fucking blade going up there, too.

That's it. No.

Hell no.

It was great. He flew us to this place, and when we landed here, we get to start rally drive. This is a place called rally.

So did you shoot at the gun range first?

No, they're just letting them pick us up there. Then we fly here and we get to drive rally cars.

Oh, man.

In like, dirt.

Say off road rallies.

So first it was subarus, and then they put us in this thing. Yeah. What is that? This is all new. It's made by Sierra cars. And that's Philip in there. It's all electric. Yeah. See, the subarus are behind it, so we drove those first. That weighs 1200 pounds. That car that he's in. And it has 300 hp. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, that has 300. Mean, it's just like. That's how it feels. And you're just skimming through dirt.

I think about this all the time. There's some farmer back in the old days with one horse pulling his shit and there's an asshole in the neighbor next to it with 300 of them pulling it.

That's the equivalent.

300 horses pulling your fucking. Yeah, that is nuts. How fast does that go?

I mean, I don't know what the actual. Can.

They hit 100 and shit.

Easy. That's me right there. And I think it's just right out of the gate. You just kind of. Is it just. It just starts zipping.

Is it easy to drive?

Yeah, it is actually.

Like, does it handle better the more you really get into it and shit?

It does. And there's a handbrake too. So you can use the actual brakes that come with it. Or you can do the. There's the next one here. The next video of this has. Yeah, this is me coming around. And you hit the throttle and then you pull the handbrake on.

That makes you do this.

Yeah, you start to kind of jumps. Oh, I see.

So you're handbraking on your turns and then. There he is.

There he is. He was chasing us. He was chasing us. Yes. I swear to God. And then there's one of the suits. He was chasing the cars.

What's that coming out behind him right there?

That's a drone. Oh, it is. But then, dude, it was so much fun. And then, by the way, the prep for this was just like, have fun. They're like, just go. It was so much fun. We got to drive broncos off road in those woods back there on this trail.

Damn, dude.

Yeah, it was so fun. Then they had another course where they had Red Bull drivers, like sponsored drivers. So we got in the cam am. You know what that is? Like, that two seater?

Is that like the off road?

Yeah. And they had a seven time world champion named Mia Chapman pull up her instagram because the first video on it is from that day. I'm not in it. But that's her right there driving that. And here, put your headphones on.

This is her driving.

She's driving you. So you get to ride with her.

Christ, look how fast they're going.

And she's just giving rides in this thing. Dude, she's jumping.

You rode with her?

Yeah, it was unreal. Yeah, dude. And everybody's going through what you hear there is the same way. Everybody feels. Everyone's like, oh, my God. Look at her jumping over that shit.

She's hauling.

And she says she's driving at, like, 40% just because she's got passengers, like, real dialed down.

That's dialed down.

Yeah. It was so much fucking fun.

That looks so much fucking fun.

So we do that for hours. Then they take us to coda, and we watch the practice runs. Then we go back here.

God damn you. All day with them.

Yeah, and then they flew us on the chopper again. No, the garbage can.

I would have said, ride me back in one of those.

And they flew us to the range. Then we went shooting on the range.

When you got back?

We got back, then we went out to dinner, then we went out to a party.

How long of a day is that?

It was a full fucking day. God damn, dude.

All adrenaline. I feel like I'd be asleep at the dinner.

Well, the next day, fighting it. People are like, you want to go to this thing? And I was like, no, I'll bet. We literally took the whole day down. Like, just chilled out, recovered, and then the next day was the race day. So then we took a chopper there, a different one, a little bigger. I think we have video from that. Yeah. So this is going to the race. So we got to, like. That's Coda right there. Yeah. You're seeing people come in, and it's cool. On the other video of it, you can actually see the whole layout of the circuit. It's fucking this one right here. So this is us pulling up, and this is race day, so it's just starting to get super congested. There's so many people. There's, like, over 100,000 people here. But, yeah, they just fly you. We fly right to the track and then card us over, and then we got to sit. We had so much fucking incredible access. Like, we got to go at the chairman's club on turn two, which you can kind of. You see people come around turn one, turn two, three, four, and you whip around, and you can see 1213, 14.

It's incredible.

What's their top speed? What are they hitting?

Those guys on the back straight will hit, like 210, 215.

Yeah, I went to the Indy 501 time years ago. Like, early 2000 maybe. Something like that might have been 2000. And Danica Patrick was racing that time she crashed, but we got.

She crashed.

She did that day. I don't know if she crashed or they crashed her.

Oh, really?

Yeah, because that was back when she.

Was doing everyone's like, what is she doing here? Yeah.

And I just remember we had pit passes and we were able to go down right in the pit. And I just remember standing there and just looking straight ahead and just watching the car go by to see how much of it I'd see. And it sounded like bumblebees on steroids, just going right by.

It's so impressive to see. Yeah.

And then they're not just driving that thing. They're getting right on each other's asses, moving inside lanes, outside.

You'll see them inches apart. Inches, yeah, inches apart.

150, 60 miles an hour.

It's really impressive to see. And those cars are spaceships. F one cars are fucking spaceships.

Are they?

They're so ridiculous, man. They're so insane.

Well, and can't you now, like, oh, yeah, this is. I don't know how you don't cheat, but can't you now listen to them? You get, like, a headset and you can listen in. They were saying to the pit crews and stuff. I don't know.

I mean, that's probably available team. Can they pipe in on the broadcast? Like, if you watch the broadcast, you'll have the commentators and then they'll take you to an exchange. So they'll be like, here's Hamilton talking to the pit about something. And you'll hear the driver be like, oh, he's going off the grid. And.

What do these people weigh, too? What's the weight? So healthy weight to get hauled.

Daniel Ricardo was here and he said that you don't want to weigh anything over 160. Damn. Yeah.

They're all that little.

And also, like, their margins for giving up, because everything's about weight at that level. And fractions of a second are the different. Like a second is an eternity. So if you start to weigh over that, you're giving up something that they would rather not because you're just weighing more. It's going to hold you down, that minuscule amount. They told us, too, that they gave us a tour, and there's a room, like, fucking three times the size of this room of just, like, computer towers. They're like, yeah, this is for when they're driving. The car is sending signals back to engineers in each of their home countries in real time. And then those engineers are analyzing, sending the information back about adjustments that need to be made in real time.

They're doing it in the car itself.

In the car. Or, like, when they pit or tell these guys, hey, this is what little stuff? Yeah. They're analyzing it to that degree.

All right, so what's the fastest you've ever had before you got all these nice cars and shit? What's the fastest you ever hit a car on the road?

Hit a car?

No, not hit. I mean, what's the fastest you ever hit driving a car?

Oh, probably, like, in the 130s.

Damn.

What was it? A Ford Mustang.

The 5.0 back in the day?

Yeah. And then I drove earlier model cayman that I had in LA. Probably, like, 135 coming back at night. Like, the 405 on the 101 coming from, like, Oxnard out there. Yeah, but then I really don't go. Whenever you're in a car, like a performance car, there's always someone who wants to race you, and they always come up, and either they make a signal or they rev their engine, and it's always a guy, like, in a Honda or something, who's like, what's up, bitch? I'm good. I don't want to be dangerous on there, especially now that I have the ability to go to these places where you get to do it.

Won't a Tesla wipe anything off the road these days, anyway?

Well, from starting out, just stock car on the street, especially zero to 60, it'll crush. Yeah, once you get, like, moving those.

You got to catch up to it first.

Yeah. Those things are lightning. It is crazy that you can just buy one. It's so crazy that someone can be like, here's a check. Can I have a metal box that goes zero to 60 in 1.9 seconds? And drives itself. Yeah, and drives itself. And they're like, yeah, go for it. There's no test, no special. They don't make you fill out a form. These are background checks for that shit. This is a fucking missile.

Should definitely be a background check.

Yeah. I did drive a friend's car at that track. And most of the cars, I bring f one. Yeah, well, not at f one, but at that track. At the coda track, I drove my friend's car, which is automatic. I bring mostly manual cars there. His is automatic, which is so much faster. And on that back straight, I hit 170.

Damn.

Yeah. But I couldn't do it in one of mine. His was just so.

I mean, the fastest I've ever hit in anything is that car in Vegas was one. I feel like I don't know what it was. 140, 50 somewhere. And that's fucking right down to 30. And my stomach was.

Dude, you know what? So my cousin came for this whole weekend. That was the fun part, is, like, Philip invited us. And also I got to give a shout out Peter Atia, who is a fucking obsessed fan. I thought, I like cars, and it's like, I guess I don't because his level, he's super in f one. He gave us tickets in the turn 15 grandstands, which is amazing.

Is that the best one?

I think it's the best grandstand view you can get. You see people come all the way back down that stretch, and you see them go through 1213 1415 into the carousel. So you really get to see a whole portion of it. And you get to see them do that shit like speed. That's actually turn two. It's really like fucking spaceships. But the tickets he hooked up were unbelievable. Unbelievable. But my cousin was visiting, and he works in. That's him there, Juan Luis. Shout out to Juan Luis. When we were at rally school there, he was telling me lived. He's from Peru, but he does a lot of work in Mexico. And so we're always like, oh, what's that? Like? Because he has to go to all the regions because it's in agriculture. Do you ever worry about the cartels? He's like, nah. Like, you know, everything's cool. They always tell you, just don't go there and don't be there after sundown. And it's all part of that world. But he was saying that he was in Sinaloa on a week where the government had gotten a hold of one of the cartel guys, family members might have been, like, Chapo's son.

And so they sent in all the federalists, all the cops, for a presence. The police are here. And on that weekend, a military chopper flew into the city. And he's like, so, you know, everybody. All the citizens are like, oh, wow. Like, the cops are here. Look at this. And as that chopper was up there, a fucking missile came out, blew it up. So, like, the cartel guys had, like, anti aircraft.

No. And they were waiting for that helicopter to come and blew it out of the sky.

Yes. Everyone's like, oh, shit.

How are the tomatoes? How the tomatoes coming? All right, go back to my farm. That's crazy.

Well, I remember, like, anti aircraft. I know crazy. I don't know if it's the same weekend that he was talking about. I remember sometime in the last 24 months, they got a hold. At one time, the government got a hold of El Chapo's son.

And didn't they let him go pretty quick?

Well, because the cartel just came down the mountain in tanks, started blowing, like, firing at the police in tanks. And then they were like, you can take them back. Yeah, you can have.

That's nuts. Yeah, dude, tanks and they can't do.

Anything and nothing we could do about it. Yeah. They were just like, you got it. We'll give them back.

Could you imagine if the National Guard flew over Ohio and then someone shot it down and they'd be like, we're not going to do anything to you. Hell, no.

Yeah. That's how big of a presence that is.

That is a big presence.

Yeah. It's not like a hundred guys, you.

Know, I don't know if you remember me telling. This was a while ago. I wrote and produced on this piece. It was a Ferrari racing club. And it was basically. It wasn't basically. It was these guys, they're all rich dudes. I mean, these guys, like, that shit's so expensive. Oh, man. They all own their own ferraris.

Yeah. And they have support teams.

They have support. They. So what they did was the guy I worked with, his name was John, and he was a young, good looking dude. And he was an attorney for Philip Morris, I think. Or against Philip Morris, I think it was, and then won all these cases. So he had fuck you money. Yeah, he owned a mansion in New Orleans. He had the original land speeder from Star wars. And he would drive it to work.

No.

Yeah, he would drive to work.

He had the original New Orleans, one of those cities that are like, yeah, you can drive that.

Yeah, people see you like, oh, my God.

It's the fucking original land speed.

He had the original R Nc three po. He would license those out to universal and just make money off that as a revenue stream. He then remember the first black gold rim Lamborghini Kintosh poster when we were kids.

Like, all the rage.

He bought that one.

That one. The one in the poster.

That one. He went and got that one. He had every year of every Ferrari ever made, every year of whatever it was. And one of the things he'd say, he would go to Italy and he'd come back on his private jet and he said, I'll take a model. I'll bring them back with me. And I'll tell him straight up, like, I got a Wednesday Thursday. If you want to come back and fuck and hang out, Monday, Tuesday, you can. And he's like, they get right on the private jet. They go back. He says, before they land. He has a control.

This is a good.

I don't know how many years ago, he would set the lights in the pool, in the house.

He could put the.

He said he could operate c three po, and he'd have him come over and act like he was lifting up their dress a little bit, and he'd be like, oh, c three po. He'd do that. This dude was loaded.

Yeah, it's a good game.

So he also owned a Ferrari. And he told me that owning a Ferrari, a real Ferrari, part of it is like you. It's like owning a horse at a stable. It stays in Italy at the track.

I know someone who did that.

And he said, I'm only allowed to drive that car when I fly to Italy, and I'm only allowed to drive it on that track. It's mine to be driven there. But they all loved cars so much that he got about. I don't know, it's probably about twelve or 15 rich fucking dudes. They all had their own ferraris, and they picked six tracks here in the US and basically tried to simulate what was going on in Italy here. And they would do each track twice. So you got twelve tracks, but you're doing Jersey twice, like Tampa twice or whatever. And these dudes had so much fucking money. And I had so much fun. So much fun watching them drive. And then a couple of them crash them, and they go off, because they're not. Ain't a racing team.

Sit down.

I taught this one dude. We're in Jersey. I go, what are you doing after this today? He goes, oh, I'm going to hop on my private jet and fly back. I'll be home in like, 20 minutes. Kids will swim in the pool. I go, Jesus Christ, you live in Manhattan. He's like, yeah. I go, how'd you get your money? Because I'm interviewing these guys. How'd you come up with your money? He's like, oh, my father owns, like, he owns ten skyscrapers in New York. I'm like, buildings? He's like, yeah, my dad owns buildings.

Okay, that'll do it. Okay. Yeah, I know a guy who drives, like, in a Porsche GT three club. And he said, like, on his weekends he'll go through 15 grand in tires.

On tires?

Yeah, just own tires? My God. Yeah, I met another dude that's a.

Lot of fucking money on tires in.

A weekend, this dude.

I don't know if I've ever spent that much on tires in my lifetime. So far, I'm trying to do.

This is the weekend tires? Yeah, this dude. Because, you know, you never know who you're talking.

Weekend tires.

You never know. And so somebody said something. I was at a party. Tom likes cars. And he's like, oh, yeah, I like cars. I was like, yeah, man, what kind of cars you got? And I'd tell him a couple things and about you. He's like, yeah. And he's doing it, like, really unassuming. I got this one. I got this one. I go, oh, that's a good car. He's like, yeah, I got a couple that I keep in Italy. And I go, you keep cars in Italy? He's wearing, like, a hawaiian shirt, right? He looks like he's fucking there to change the ice. I was like, what? He's like, yeah, I keep that one in Marinella. I was like, you keep your cars there? He's like, just for when I go there, when I drive, just to have it. And I was like, okay, this dude's pretty serious. And then I'm talking to somebody else, and they're like, oh, yeah, he's a billionaire. I was like, oh, yeah, that's clear now. He keeps his cars in Italy. Yeah. Just for fun. Yeah, that's big time cash.

15 grand entire God damn.

So much money. Yeah, some of those dudes. I don't know if some of those guys will travel and drive with a crew, like their own pit crew.

Oh, they had their own. The trailers they own, too, to transport the car. I'm like, you guys fund all this just for fun? I'm like, you still have money left over? And they're like, yeah, we're just doing this for fun.

It's basically their equivalent of some dudes.

Like, golf weekends with all the finest gear.

Yeah. So they travel. That's their version of it. Yeah. You really got to back up a truck, though, and there's nothing coming in. It's all money out.

Oh, yeah. They're not getting spawned.

No. No one's paying you for shit. You could be the fastest guy that day, and you just get, like, a high five. Dude.

The one guy, he was my favorite dude. He had this black and gold card and car, and it was a latin phrase on it, and I can't remember exactly how it went, but it translated to, I come in peace, ready for war. And that's on his car. And I was like, fuck him. I just love that fucking motto. And I go, where'd you get your money? Like, what's your family business? And his family business was. He was. I think he was british. No, he was italian. What am I saying? And his family were jewelers who worked with the italian royalty.

Oh, Jesus.

Yeah, so he's busting out watches for us to see, like we can't touch and shit.

Look at it.

Yeah, for the Camry show. He's like, I'll get a couple for you. I'm like, jesus. But like you say, his jewelry shop was the sponsor.

Yeah.

It wasn't like fucking 76 or arcos coming in and throwing money at these guys. It is all money out.

Met a dude whose money came from the latches on planes, on the doors.

He made the latch.

You think about that. You're like, there's always things. You go and you go, well, someone's got to make it. And then all the planes are like, yeah, we need that latch. That's what he makes. That's what his company makes.

I got one for you. A guy I used to work with swore to us that a girl he dated's grandmother. You can look this up if you want because I think it was a lady. You know that little plastic pizza tray? The table that comes in your pizza so the lid doesn't hit the cheese? Yeah, that little thing.

Yeah, that's her.

They made that gazillions of money.

You really.

Zillions of dollars. I mean, because you think about it, if you're going to mass produce those, they're probably less than a penny to make. They're just a little plastic thing.

Sure.

And that lady fucking.

That thing.

Yeah, that little table right there.

Somebody made that was like, yeah. Give it to you for old lady.

Just don't look. The fundraiser.

Yeah, there she is.

That lady of Argentina.

Yeah, there you go.

That lady did that fucking thing. Somebody did that, right?

Yeah, somebody had to do it.

That's got to beg her because the patent was filled.

Look at that, though. It was filed 83 oh.

Carmel of Dix Hills got a similar one. So that might be who he knows.

She. Failure to pay maintenance fees in 93. Man.

Wow.

Yeah, there's things like that you never consider. I also learned about how. They were telling me how you think cartels are ruthless. They go in Latin America. The real crazy thing now is mining. What do you mean? There's gold mines and the families that control that, they're like. They make cartels look like Girl scouts.

I'll bet that kind of money.

Yeah. Because they'll come in there and just wipe out a fucking indigenous community and they dig and do what they want. And it's so much money that it gets ruthless. Yeah. Met one of those guys, too.

You met him?

Yeah.

Well, how'd you meet this guy?

Just family.

Through your family, you met this guy?

Yeah.

And they just wipe out towns.

And he's a real jovial guy, too. I'll bet. He's like, how you doing? It's good to be here.

Fuck those people.

We have killed generations of people for golf courses.

That's fucking crazy.

It's pretty wild. And it really is like being a saudi prince or something. If you have a gold mine that.

Produces oil, any of that shit. Right? That kind of money.

Fuck, yeah. Scary, though, because they end up controlling entire regions. Yeah, regions.

And the business that flows in and out.

And then they just get. Then in those communities, they just also put the government on payroll. So, like, judges, cops, everybody's like, yeah, man, dig wherever you want.

Yeah, sign that.

I'll sign that, no problem. Yeah. Pretty wild. That's scary shit.

I think about. I was a big fan of Deadwood back in the day on HBO, that series, and it's partially rooted in history and how. What's the family that lives up? It's got the Hearsts. The Hearst. Up in northern California with that Hearst Castle and shit.

Oh, right. They were the newspaper people, right? Yeah.

And they came in and the way they made their money, if I remember correctly, was there was all this gold out there, and it was, I believe, the black hills of South Dakota. And they would come in and scare people and just say, hey, the government's going to come. They're going to make this place like every other state, and you're not going to get the money you're supposed to get for that. So how about I give you 2 million right now? 2 million back then.

Oh, my God.

And we'll call it even. And they would take that, and then he'd have a literal mountain of gold that was worth gazillions. And he's buying off these people. And that's how they just started stacking their money. And once they started doing that, they started buying towns and banks and shit. Like, I'll buy your bank then.

Yeah.

And then they go, like, I'm buying a bank.

I just own everything. Yeah.

I just take it.

Yeah, yeah.

You don't get to be someone like that. Being a nice. I just. I've always vibed with that old mafia mentality. Like I did a report on Capone when I was young and the Valentine day massacres, just that whole. He wiped out the top guy and then sent the biggest fucking bouquet of flowers to the whole funeral. You know what I mean? I've always loved that mindset. Like, there you go.

There you go. Did you ever do the Alcatraz tour?

I did.

I still remember because I think I was the only person that laughed on the tour. They took us to the hospital wing, and they're like, so Capone had syphilis. Well, he had fucked up some guy, and the guy was in bed recovering, and they said Capone went to tickle his feet because the guy was in pain. He's like, stop. And then they go. And then Capone punched him in the stomach while he's laying there. Do you laugh? I was like, it's a funny thing to imagine, right?

I have pictures of me in black and white sitting on, like, the toilet in there and stuff. You go in the cell. But I'll tell you this, I really.

Did have.

A weird feeling at Alcatraz. I had a couple weird feeling, and we got there, and originally, right when you get on the little island there, there was native american indigenous tribe that was speaking on whatever they did to them, or. I don't even know. I'm ignorant, but it's so crazy that.

Someone could escape from there.

That water and shark infested cold. That's a hell of a distance.

Look at that.

Distance to anywhere. But when we got out in the yard, did you go out to the yard? Yeah, that's where I felt. I felt like people had been shanked and everything out there. I felt a dark presence.

Look at that. When you see it from that angle, too. The one right there. I think that's the most kind of intimidating one. Yes. Is there only one escape that is successful?

I think so, but they don't know if that guy drowned or what. But I think a few people got out of there or tried to get out of there.

Did the three. The three men did escape the island, but most likely drowned. Oh, so they don't consider them to be who escaped successfully? Is it just the. Oh, and they're assuming that they all drown. Wow.

That they got out, though, which is nuts.

It's nuts.

Yeah.

Escaping prison stories are always insane.

And the tunnels, they have to go. Like, I would freak out in there. I'd make them come get me. You know what I mean? I'm like, I can't get out of there. I can't climb through a tunnel. I scrape with a look at this.

Story that John Anglin allegedly wrote a letter to the San Francisco police in 2013. Wow. He was the only one still living, the writer claimed. Well, but, yeah, but it's a letter, right? Like, how do you know that's the guy? I mean, how do you know it's.

Coming from DB Cooper type shit?

Yeah. That story is amazing. Did you watch that whole. Did? Yeah, it was great.

I did. I think that dude is him, too.

Which one?

The one that they were saying they thought was him that died. I think the guy that died is D. B. Cooper. Not the one still living.

I don't think it was so compelling to watch. It was. And then the funny thing is, like, those yearly comic con type things where.

They all get together, but how about, like, back then.

What year did he do that? Fuck.

What year does it say? 71. I wouldn't trust a parachute in 1971. Or kicking open a door of a plane.

An airliner?

Fuck no, man.

Yeah, I know.

That's crazy. I'd love to be able to do something like that and get away with it, though.

It'd be fun.

It'd be fun if you got away with it, but you'd be waiting your whole life because you know somebody somewhere.

To.

Some young 20 year old something, that's like, I'm going after this.

Don't you think just let it die. That a robbery would be like, robbing a banker or a museum would be such a thrill. Yeah.

Bank would be. Yeah, I wouldn't care about the museum. The bank would be.

Well, the museum would just be, like, the fun.

Yeah, but the bank, you're scaring more people, so if that's really what you're into, you got to feel like you got a bunch of them there.

Yeah. Because the whole thing with the museum is you want to do it without alerting.

Right.

So it's got to be secret shit. Yeah. But it's just fun to know. Bank.

You're going in the opposite.

Yeah.

You're not going in the same way. Give me all your fucking money. Who was the guy that got caught in Santa Monica? Oh, Whitey Bolger Bulger.

So I think he was at Alcatraz.

He might have been.

Was whitey Bulger.

Can you imagine going your whole life? Pretty sure someone recognized. How did even get recognized like that?

Yeah, he was there, dude, look at that. In 1956, he was.

Dude survived Alcatraz in the. Couldn't get out of the Santa Monica in what the. They got him.

That story is incredible.

It's nuts that someone was like, that's fucking Whitey bulger.

Yeah, there it is.

Santa Monica.

Yes.

His address is on there. Where was it? What was his address? I want to know how close I was. To Whitey Bulger. Little apartment, too. It's up for rent. He's off Third street, man down by the proven eye, man. Living large.

So the FBI agent that was part of the task force from Boston flies in and they wait for him in the garage.

That's how this went down.

Yeah. So what they did was they alerted him that there was a problem with his vehicle or something in the garage. So he comes down, and it's just fucking a hundred agents. So the lead guy might have been the guy right there, cuffs him. He admits to who he know, and he goes, don't you feel a sense of relief that it's over? And he said, whitey Bolger goes, fuck, no.

Fuck, no.

Yeah, you know how he died? You don't know how he died, dude. They put a lock in, master lock, keypad in a sock, and beat him. Who did? Prisoners. The whole story of how he ends up getting killed is so crazy because they never really follow up on how this happened. This is the kind of thing that, if you're not a conspiracy theorist, makes you kind of go, okay, what the fuck is going on? Because he is a high level inmate. You treat people like that a different way. There's a whole different protocol, and they move him into general population at one point, and they're like, how did this happen? And everyone's like, I don't know. What do you mean? This is, like, the most. He was number one on the FBI most wanted list, and then he just gets transferred, like, he's in protective custody, and they transfer him into gen pop, and they kill him, like, on the first fucking day.

Beat him to death.

They beat him to death because he's a rat. They held him down and beat him with a fucking lock. An 80 something year old man. Like, that fucking damn brutal way to die. But when they're like, well, why was he transferred like this? And why was he. And they just. I don't know. You're like, what? That doesn't make any sense. There's all these checks, all these protocols for high level inmates being transferred, and they're just like, yeah, just. I don't know how that happened. It was a mistake. It doesn't add.

Yeah, and then he got killed.

He's 89.

Damn. Can you imagine living to 89? He, like, being beat to death in prison?

By God, dude. I mean. The plot started with a phone call to the mother of Sean. The murder. The murder of Bolger was planned as soon as the mobster had arrived in West Virginia. The plot started with a phone call to the mother of Sean McKinnon, one of the men accused in the killing the night before the high profile inmates arrival. Yeah, we're getting ready to get another high profile person here tonight. McKinnon allegedly told his mother the day before the 89 year old bulger arrived, a recording of the play. So he was just basically like, I know what's happening tomorrow. As soon as they saw Bolger come into the unit, they planned to kill. It just. It makes no sense that they would put him in a regular cell. No, I mean, he's like, as high profile as you. It'd be like throwing the fucking president in Gen. Like, people like this are always kept in protective doesn't. It's like they wanted him dead.

They did want his ass dead.

Which, I mean, it actually lends to his claim that he wasn't an informant and that he had FBI people as paid informant. Because that's always what he said, right? They were always like, you were a rat? He goes, no, I was paying the FBI for it, so they were the ones giving me information. And then he's just fucking killed because they threw him in with everybody else.

Beat to death.

What a horrible way to a 90 year old man. Essentially. Just fucking crazy.

20 year old fucking.

Yeah. Cold blooded killers. Yeah.

And I feel like he's Boston crime boss, but I feel like the guy that killed him had said something about Massachusetts. I feel like that goes back. There's the guy prosecutors won't see, and they won't seek the death penalty, either.

You're all right, man.

Like a motherfucker.

Yeah, you're okay.

Where is this guy from? I feel like I saw he was from Massachusetts or something there. How about that? From Massachusetts. See, that shit goes back. They were waiting on his ass, man. You got to live a long time to wait to get.

He's already serving a life sentence.

It must be somebody's grandkid in there.

You better take that motherfucker out the moment he arrives. Yeah. Not a lot of remorse in that face.

Not at all.

Yeah, he's like another life sentence. Yeah, I already have one.

Yeah, give me another one.

Sure. That guy's a light. He was, like, made for crime criminal his entire.

His whole life.

Yeah. Yeah. Whitey bulger. Look how fucking much Johnny Depp looked like him. Right?

He did look like him. He really does. Yeah, they did a good job.

What was that movie called? Black Mass. Was that what it was? Yeah. He looks just like a mill.

Look at his eyes down here.

Black mass. I thought that was about Shaq's asshole when that movie came out, but I guess it's about his heart. Cold blooded dude. You watch anything good lately?

I started watching this Edgar Allan Poe show on Netflix, the fall of the house of Usher.

Really? Yeah.

I started watching. I like Edgar Allan Poe. I thought they were going to be one offs. Like, here's an updated version of the Raven and the cask of a Monte auto, but it's a series, and they're telling a story of what's going about four episodes in right now.

It's good. It's good.

It's fucking different and good, but it's the dude's whole family. And it's like, I forget he and his sister when they're little. That's the mom right there, that younger looking lady there when they're kids, up a little bit, and then they bury her in the backyard because they're kids, and she dies, and they don't know what to do. And then one stormy night, they look out, and the fucking coffin's all dug up. And then the mom's in the house, and she's possessed, and now she's basically going after these two and their whole entire family.

And that's it too, right here. The IMDb thing.

All part of it, yeah.

Wow, that sounds cool.

It's different. I don't watch much anymore. I don't have time for it. I don't want to sound like one of those people say, I really am looking for something to watch. Started watching breaking bad again, just as background, really throwing it on, because I feel like it's better than anything else I'm seeing right now anyway. I've only seen it once all the way through, but between legit, I have Stella half the time, I don't ever get to watch tv. And when I do, it's just football on. Yeah, I make time for that because it's the only time I really have for myself. And then it's on the road. If I'm not with Stella, if I'm not on the road, then it's recording three podcasts and doing town. I just. I don't know. By the time I get home and I want to watch something, I find myself falling asleep, and I'm like, fuck it.

I just go to bed. I passed on parties all that weekend. Yeah. So I was like, no, I'm too tired.

Yeah, I'm too tired down here. I'm too tired to stay up late. I stayed out late last night, and that's the latest I've been out in a long time.

How late were you out? I don't know.

It wasn't even that late. Probably midnight. 1230.

Are you here tonight, too? Yeah. You're going out? Yeah.

Well, I'm going to go do shows, but I don't go out.

Okay.

That's the other thing. I don't go out. I feel like our jobs. I can't remember the last time I've been to just a bar. I'm not a club guy anyway. But our jobs, we're out and among people drinking and having a good time. And I feel like I've met the quota of that in your life. So when I come home, I just want to get the fuck away from everybody. I don't want to do anything. I just want to be by myself.

Yeah, I'm the same way. I just don't have it. I don't know. I try to take responsibility for sleep so that I don't go. It just didn't happen. I try to make it like, oh, it's on me to do it. And my whole life, my whole day, everything changes when I get good sleep. Everything. I feel better. I work out better. I make better food choices. I work better as a comic. All of it comes back to sleep. So every time that I'm, like, pushing it, staying out late or just being up late, I just feel like I pay the price so much. Yeah.

And I'm up late doing nothing. I'm not doing anything. I just got a CPAP machine.

Did you really? I did.

I didn't realize I even had sleep apnea. And then I did a study.

Where'd you go? Like, you went to a point.

Well, I went to this one. My doctor referred this guy who was in the same building. And I go to this guy, and he's just trying to sell me a mouth guard that he makes that insurance doesn't cover. I'm like, I'm not interested in your device. I want something that. Well, we don't have machines. I'm like, what am I talking to you for? So I went to Santa Monica sleep center and did a full study. I did a study with him, too. It was like this ring finger thing, but it wasn't.

What's the sleep study like?

You go home, you do the full study, and then it just records into a machine. Then you give it to them, and then they tell you. So I'm a moderate on my side, but on my back, I'm a severe. I guess I stopped breathing, like, 59 times in a minute. I mean, in an hour. So every 1 minute, I'm fucking not breathing on my back. And they said my tongue is wide, and when I relax, it just slides in the back of my throat and it blocks it. So whatever. So I started with the one that's just up your nostrils, but you got to keep your mouth shut. And if my nose is clogged, my mouth automatically opens. And she's like, well, you can use tape. I'm like, I don't want to tape my mouth shut.

I use tape sometimes.

I know you turned me on to it. She goes, well, you should probably use hostage tape. And I was like. She goes, I said hostage. I was like, that's real. She goes, yeah, you have a beard and it's heavy duty. And I'm like, they call it hostage.

That's what I use.

Could you imagine, though, they call it any other tape? I know hostage tape is a real fucking.

It does get your attention, but it's good.

So I switched to the fighter mask so I could keep my fucking mouth open. And I've been sleeping way better is.

You notice, notable change.

Definitely a notable change. I'm probably two weeks into it right now.

Wow.

And I'm still getting used to getting the seal proper and all this shit. But my scores are all say, very good, very good. And I definitely have right now what I do feel is more in the tank throughout the day. Like, I don't find myself tired in the middle of the day for a minute and having to rally.

I should do a sleep study.

You should just do one. Yeah, because severe, also, for a lot of people, the questions are like, are you falling asleep while you're driving and shit? I'm like, no, I'm not doing that. But on my back during sleep, I'm almost killing myself.

That's crazy. Yeah. So you travel with it now?

I didn't bring it this weekend because I just got it and I should have, but I did take it to La Jolla with me the whole weekend when I was headlining down there and used it the whole time. But this time I didn't have time to pack. And I was like, fuck it. I'll just old school die.

Holy shit. Old school die. Yeah, bro.

Old school die.

Fuck. All right.

But I get excited about it now when I want to put it on and go home and sleep. Like, man, how much sleep am I going to get? And then I get excited about looking at the app and what kind of score I got, and I'm like, okay.

I do feel better. Yeah.

And also, I don't wake up. Slow and cloudy, you know what I mean?

Totally.

I wake up, I'm up.

That's the difference.

Trying to get out of this fog. I'm up and I'm pretty because if.

You stop breathing once a minute, for sure you're not rested at all.

Dude, I thought I was having dainty little. I keep telling, they're like, oh, you grind. I'm like, I thought I was having dainty little sleeps. I thought when I woke up I was just getting up because I had to go to the bathroom. I didn't realize in my sleep I'm going, well, did anyone ever tell you.

That shared a bed with you, were.

They ever like, not really. Not until recently.

Tell you about snoring? Were they going, I mean, I would.

Get snoring, but I wouldn't get like, you're not breathing. And just recently that happened, I was like, what? So then I wonder how long that's been going on, too. Has that been happening since my. Know what I mean? I don't even, by the way, I.

Forgot to, earlier when you told me about the CMT and you guys got. Did your brothers all have it, too?

Oh, yeah, we all have all have it. Everybody's got it. I went and got tested again for it a second time when I lived in LA in my. Want to say? And the guy's like, look, man, if you're in your, you're at the point where as far as you're going to get, you're good to go here. So if you can go, go. But I played soccer my whole life. I played all sports my whole life. And back to PT, the other thing I'm learning how to do is breathe properly. That's wild. Like really breathing from your lungs. And then, you know, from PT, I'll be in a position, I'll be like, just move your shoulder there and then just a twitch and you're like, God, I really feel that in that muscle now. I'm learning so much of that. So I got my exercises I do every day and I love it.

That's awesome, dude. It's always good to see you, man.

Same.

Thank you for coming in, man. Thank you for having me. Don't forget, check out the honeydew. Don't forget the new podcast the way back debuts in January. And check out Ryan's special lefty son on YouTube. And we will see you guys next week.

There's not a. They'll keep it clean. Here's what we call two bears, one cave.