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[00:00:00]

Hey, everyone, and welcome back to a proportional response podcast, I'm Sharon Walker, and today my guest is Meghan Smith. We chat about what made her want to do the podcast in the first place. And then I'm going to speak to her about her moving away from university and towards a performing arts school.

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Were you scared that it was going to sort of ruin, like, the joy you get from dancing? Yeah, yeah.

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You know, we then speak about her amazing personal qualities and our ability to have self-confidence without the acceptance of absolutely everyone around her.

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Yeah, I feel like if I'm in the right place and somebody doesn't like me and they don't have, like, a particularly good reason or like it's not like a yeah, they're problem and there's not really anything I can do about it.

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We recorded this episode in a local cafe, so there is a fair amount of background noise which when listening back was louder than I anticipated. However, it does get quieter after about five or six minutes and then continues to get gradually quieter, particularly around the 10 minute mark and then throughout the rest of the episode. So if you're finding the background noise annoying at the beginning, please Bartik through the first five or six minutes because I promise it will be worth it.

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Meghan was amazing. And I'd hate for you to miss out on our conversation because you have put off by the background noise at the beginning. But without further ado, here's my conversation with Meghan.

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OK, I'm here with Meghan. How are you? I'm good, thank you. Yes, you might hear people coming and going because when your son becomes. But hopefully you can hear us all right. You think so? I'm not. You party not too long ago with it was to this party and you came up to me and you said that you listen to a couple of the podcasts and they were good. And apart from not being really flattering, I was interested to see why you then volunteered to say, hey, I'll do one, and if you're wanting people to do it.

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So, yeah, my first question is, so what pushed you to be open to doing an episode? Well, sometimes I think I speak like before. I think so. I saw you and just immediately was like, oh, do what was a mistake. You know, I'm always like doing things this I like. Yeah. I've always wanted to do something like this, you know, I taught myself a lot and to be myself about internal dialogue.

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So I was great. You were in an interview, but no, I didn't think it was funny. Like, you ask such interesting questions. It has such investigations. And I mean, you know, I mean, we talk anyway. Yes, of course. The makeup people.

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Yeah, well, we aren't super close. So that's what made it even more great that you're willing to do it because like, you get on very well and we know each other, but we haven't really hung out in like one on one until right now. So until the time. Yeah, but I'd like to do more episodes like this where I don't do where I do interview people that I know less well. So do you have any ideas for how I could maybe convince people to do these episodes?

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Well, I think because you already have an Instagram. Yeah. So that's something that I know I did on Facebook, Instagram. But like, I think that's a good way of doing it because, like, social media is used in, like, everything. Everybody's on social media. Yeah. So I think that's a really good way to do it because so many people it's. Yeah. And I think just like just what you do, just talking to people and like when you're er and yeah.

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I think somehow he likes his life in the fact that you do this and that, that's cool. And then you'll be like do you want.

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Yeah. I sometimes feel like that's a bit like arrogant and oh I do a podcast. This thing thing about that I mean I suppose I can say but no it's easy, I don't make it off. I think it's just I think more people than you think. Yeah.

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I started like you said, I just made the Instagram so Gruffalo a proportional response when I started saying so, asking people to get in touch with me if they wanted to do it. Whereas before I was just like going up to people when one person and saying, oh, do you want to do this? Do you want to do it? Yeah, I have to go. Yes or no words this way so people can come up to me like, oh, I had something I would.

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Yeah. So I think you know something about somebody that's quite interesting. Like if it's like they want charity. Yeah. Like that. Like I feel like that would be, you know that would be something. But that's also the tricky part because people also always think they're not that interesting. Yeah. Like you just said before, you start, it's like, oh, we've got some questions if I'm not. You can ask me anything else, because there's nothing else like it.

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There's so much I could speak to you about. This was like a condensed version of what I'm talking about. No, I think it's just sort of like people don't think of themselves as being interesting because but in a way, everyone understands that. Yeah, yeah, you're right, because everyone's sort of interesting because we all have, like, different experiences and opinions. We both, like, failed at something. We've all grown from doing something. So and that way there's always something that maybe someone else can learn from our stuff we'll talk about with you and me.

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Yeah, but there's something I've thought about is why it's so tricky to get people to do it, is that you sort of have to put yourself in a vulnerable position. Like I'm not asking you super deep questions, but way you're still like opening up to me and I am. So if you don't know me, then it's a harder thing to get people to trust you to do that. Yeah, yeah. I suppose I can see me, but it's always been something that I quite like the idea of like people opening up to me.

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Is that something that you like, like the idea of would you like to be like a confidant? And. Oh yeah, people especially like to do with friends and stuff. Yeah. So yeah. To and yeah I think I do like I do have. Yeah. I'm not one for gossip but I do like, I like when people feel like they can talk to me about me. Yeah. I say like you know, everyone has a side to the story.

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So you're upset about something even if it involves someone else. You have a right to say yeah, yeah. I've watched that sex education program, Netflix. I figured I was like, oh, that would be small. Obviously not the same topic, but yeah, like I like the idea of like giving advice to people, maybe not for the exchange of money as well. There's no like idea of being like being able to give good advice. I think it is like a super cool quality to how I think I can give great, good advice, but I never take it like myself, like I'll never do what I feel bad for it.

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I'm like, well, I think it's a lot easier when you're pushing on to someone else because you have the perspective of, yeah, you could look at it, but when it's you, you're kind of. Yeah, basically. So moving slightly. I met up with you. I think it was maybe a year ago, a year and a half ago now both of us. So imagine dragons. Yeah, but do you enjoy it. I don't think I ever asked.

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Did you enjoy that. Yeah. It was amazing to do. Yes, I loved it. Yeah. It's super good. They're great. Yeah. So you were going with a lot of time. Yeah. Yeah. Forever. Wow. What a good president. I don't know I guess but you did in the eighties. Coming up I go I should get something nice and something that you know, maybe like a bit like an experience or something and then.

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I saw that they were coming to Alaska, and I know that's convenient for me. Yeah, I like that. I thought I did the exact same for my sister's birthday amongst I'm going to see more. Who's a country artist? Oh, yeah, I know, but my sister's, like, even seen them before. So I was like, oh, I'll get you tickets to this. And she's like, I've seen them before. I was like, OK, bought and I'll come with you.

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So now we're going because I said I really gave it to you like I bought two tickets. Yeah. Because it said with me and I said, I do have to take it. I had kind of assumed I would take. Yeah. Yeah. The other one. If you would rather go with someone else I'll take them, but I will get them to pay me for that. But no, we met a slight divergence, we met before that and when we were there we were chatting before the concert.

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And I remember you saying you studied in Glasgow like you said, you lived in Glasgow, I think. Were you studying politics? Yeah, politics and international relations. OK, that's what I do now. Yeah. There we go. Because I was going to say I can't remember. Yeah. Yeah, I do the same. Or do you. Yeah. See, I think I would have preferred it if I want to be ok. Well I think I would have preferred the course because I did, probably because I went Strathclyde which is more of an engineering business, feels like it was a lot of other things.

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I could do it because otherwise I think Aberdeen.

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Yeah. Yeah. I mean you're saying because I did philosophy and controversial questions in a religion course as modules and you're pretty Joan. Yeah, that was interesting. I don't get anything like that. Yeah. That would have been um.

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But since then you've changed cos I didn't actually know this until I was like Stoneking or Facebook coming up with questions because you go to a performing arts school now. I do. Which sounds super cool. Um, what motivated you to because you did first year at uni and then you changed direction to do the performing arts school. So what maybe made you decide maybe uni wasn't for you or you just thought dance would be more enjoyable?

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Well, one of the reasons was I was super bored. OK, so good with the core. So just social classes like. No. Oh I when I say OK, his kind of bad but yeah I know, I know. And yeah I was just paid for it and like the going I part was fine. I did that every night because it's too good that it was. I mastered the art of doing it, but I know the course was like just having like Kaylani classes and like I never really had essays to do when I did and that and it just wasn't I, I think I chose Glasgow knowing it wasn't the right course and doing it wasn't the right I didn't I didn't want to be ninth grade.

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OK, yeah. Yeah. I got to Aberdeen. It was too close. Yeah. Like the first year way. Yeah. I just, I really wanted to get away and I think also because a lot of my mates were going to Glasgow, so I said, oh, it's like a really good chance for me to actually like Broncho. Don't you come in like no one I was close with went to oh I hate you will say as the only one who is like by Tuesday after Cathy went down a different time.

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So I was like, oh my gosh, see if I was in that position. I like cried to myself. I don't think I could have coped. Yeah. And you know, I'm like, I need to know, like somebody to just sort of like even message to me or something. I was really struggling. I was in your position and oh, my flatmates, none of them were doing like similary degrees to me. Every like thing I had to do this week was by myself on people and.

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OK, so that's why I it so yeah. But yeah the and the whole bit and stuff I just was pretty.

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Was it maybe because the like what you said there wasn't many hours to the core so. Yeah. So like yeah. Because my course like last year I had four hours a week so like I think it's particular to like the social sciences and politics is that it's very like self-motivated. You have to do all the work. So I get like reading this as long as my body, you know, I agree. But like of actual contact with lecturers and teachers, you don't actually get a bunch of whereas like Donya running, for example, does medicine.

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He's more or more hours in one day than I'm in an entire week.

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I worked in the whole year. There was only one day I actually needed to be around for like like Soriano's that actually came I'm sorry, attendance. So I could have left home and back and just committed on that. On my God, I wouldn't have had to do anything else. Yeah, and I barely read to lectures because I was just like, so pointless going. It was like an hour of like a PowerPoint that I yeah, I live by myself, so I usually did.

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OK, so you found it. Maybe you just found it difficult to maybe self motivate yourself to do the work. Yeah. And I think I was I mean, it's not for everyone in the universe. No, I think I think I, I mean, I didn't like school, but I preferred it not really looked. Yeah. I'm jealous. No, I was really didn't want to be sick.

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OK, but I did, I'm yeah. I didn't really like school but the structures were like OK to having to be there all day. Every day. Yeah. I think that's why I didn't like it because I had like free period to go Wednesday. I went home at 12 and it starts at 12 and things like that. It was like I'm just so the Dung's maybe would talk about the course maybe a bit later. But yeah, it's quite demanding and probably there's quite scheduled.

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And in that way, is there like an hour where you do dancing and where you do like or something. Yeah, we've structured in that way that maybe appealed to you more than university. Well I what the thing is, is I think I'd like to dancing has been something I've done before I went to school. I, yeah, it's something I've always done and I think there was always a part of me that wanted to give it a shot, but then just kind of no one really said go for it.

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So I just kind of didn't think, you know, I mean, like, my mom was pretty much like, you've done well in your higher education and like friends and stuff. Like it was not like they had to say anything, but none of them said, oh, why aren't you doing that? Yeah. And so I just didn't think I needed somebody to say, like, go for.

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It is really tricky, though, because, I mean, especially a banker. I mean, they were hopping all over the country, but so orientated and like go from school. You go to uni, you know. Exactly. And it's not really I think it's always like really courageous of people like you've done or like people to draw people in the fourth here or something. Yeah. And go and do something because they like no, it's just not for them.

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And they have the confidence to go and do that totally. Yeah. I think it's a bit daunting. So was it a tough decision. Did you feel like yourself like because it's almost perceived as almost failing? I'm not saying you are obviously like the sort of like surrounding you get from everyone else in the school is that if you fail to live, if you don't go to uni, so did it maybe feel like that when you were first deciding to drop out of uni?

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Understands. Yeah, it was I think feeling sounds really corny, but no, I don't really know what you mean. Yes, I got for a while I didn't want to say that I dropped out. I just started being like a change in course like that, even though I wasn't. But yeah, now I really don't go there. But I think it wasn't too hard of this interview is kind of and I think because I like a few years before it was a hard decision, but then I was kind of like, no, I don't want to be anymore.

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So this is like my option. So, yeah, it was it made that quite easy. But and I stuck it out through the end of the year. I made the decision in late December that I wasn't going to. Oh wow. OK, yeah. And then I stuck. I did my exams so that I at least like it was worth it. Yeah. Then I'd done the whole year so I kind of felt like well I got something out of it so I don't know.

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Yeah. I didn't really the high bit was kind of like leaving the people behind because. OK, yeah that was cool because you were the performing arts schools in Edinburgh. Yeah. OK, Saturnus.

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Which at first I wasn't really sure about because I like Edinburgh. I was like as a terrorist kind of thing as opposed to living. I've ended up liking it. All right. But you mentioned briefly that you did dancing before you went in there. So I know you did the deciding centre for some years, many, many years. So it wasn't maybe just you really enjoyed that as a hobby. And so you still wondering just like study this stuff?

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I mean, that's exactly what I was doing this time. No, actually, for me, I like that school. I did the majority of my learning and growing. And yes, I was there like every day after school, like, OK, so I don't know sometimes. Oh yeah. It was it well it started off with just like a ballet class three, you know, like, oh wow. That's a lot young. Yes I know.

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And then yeah. Like when we did shows and stuff like the I like I'd go off stage and be back on stage, it's like of so many classes and I have like I'd known the teacher since I was like Yeah yes or no. So I yeah I feel like they definitely pushed me. They were definitely the ones who are kind of like the why are you going for it? But yeah, they, they definitely are. The reason that I because I decided that I had been that I'd never done that.

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I don't think. Yes, there was no. The way I would have traveled things happening every day, I did maybe the pilot, but I can't jump very well, so I would have been a bit of a music.

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My guess, and I was look like, must go on your nerves a bit like the music after that.

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And like I say, as much as you think can be quite coordinated. I know. And I think I'm really lived. Let the whole I know something about when people are trying to teach me. I just can't can't hack it. OK, so were you at all scared the like. This is a hobby saying that you are like a really fun thing that you do every day after school and you're maybe going to sort of ruin it by making it into social work, something that you do all the time.

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Yeah, definitely. Because like for like English, for example, if we were told we had to read this book and it would be like the worst book ever and you'd have to read, it seemed like they probably gave you like it. My mom said, Oh, you should read this book. Yeah. And I did it in my free time. I probably enjoy it. Well, maybe not, but like you, you don't enjoy as much because you have to do it in a circumstance you're hopping to do it more.

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So. Were you scared that it was going to sort of ruin, like the joy you get from dancing? Yeah, yeah. You know. Oh, that's good. Luckily enough. Not yet. I think the reason for that is because it's quite a it's like nowhere else in life have I ever been criticized so much for something like this, you know? Oh, yeah, I think so. Perfectly or near perfect. Like it's a tough industry.

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Are you a perfectionist and that you're super critical of yourself? Yeah, I like what I things and I'm like, that was awful. Yeah. You know, but yeah, I'm pretty, pretty tough on myself. I know and I've, I know I can do much better with but like. Yeah. What I think I can do better. I'll get annoyed at myself.

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I think having had like quite getting used to that I think is of what's made like is it the people like your classmates or guns or is it like the teachers, just the industry. Because like you know, you do one thing wrong, like if you do one thing wrong, in addition, like you could lose your job, it's like, OK, right. Yes. Supertaster, OK, that I yeah. I think like there's going to come a point I'm sure in the next like five years where I'm probably going to go through a very dry spell of getting jobs because it happen and I'll probably go.

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I hate that saying thing about politics would have been so much better that I just went maybe I should just stick with the policies and the unions.

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They were like, I don't know, I do I want to do after, but without something that like at school you were like super, super insane with any of the modern studies. So I was like I loved I saw Mr. Van Leanna's person. I mean, we're just the best ever. Like they were the subject wasn't enough. And it's probably the teachers that got me into so much. I said I feel like the teachers are so important and like selling like this subject to you.

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I'm sad, but yeah, I, I loved it from that. And I also my like favorite ever program was called The Last One I started watching when I was in like fifth year. Six year. Yeah. And it's all about the staffers, the working like the West Wing. It's the drama. Yeah. And I've watched that like it's seven series of about 22 episodes an hour long. I've watched it sort of like six, seven times, probably like start to finish.

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And it's just like I love it so much that like yeah it kind of when I was deciding what I wanted to do, I really enjoyed my studies and this program was like, I want to be like these characters, even if like not necessarily like working in the White House or walking down the street or being a politician, but like having a skill set that the characters had so they could they were so quick on their feet, they they could come up with arguments just saw off the top of their head.

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And they showed like dedication made out to their roles was something I really wanted to be like. Yeah, it was kind of like TV, but made me want to do it. But yeah. So modern studies and like TV programs and stuff like that, you said, yeah, that's cool. Yeah.

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But I mean I did psychology at uni for the first year and I was like, yeah but the reason I did it is cause you know the film The Sixties, you know, like I know it, I'm seeing. Well the guy I think he's a psychiatrist, not a psychologist. But I could be wrong. But basically when I find it, like I was like, oh, that sounds like an interesting job. And I thought I was like 13.

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And so I just always assumed that I would enjoy psychology.

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Yeah, I was rubbish. And it's kind of weird going into podcast as well because there's a book. It's going to sound really dorky, but there's a podcast called The West Wing Weekly, and each week they analyze an episode of Mushtaha. So now I'm like. So fully invested into it, yeah, exactly like I went to the live recording of and stuff like so I've met some of the characters or the actors have played in that. Yeah. So I'm I'm I'm too deep and I know.

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Yeah. You can't go back to that. Yeah. So was it tricky to change from university to the performing arts school because I don't know anyone else sort of taken that trajectory. Yeah, I, I'm honest, I don't think I know anyone else that does performing arts and we're a small. Yeah. My class is twenty five twenty. That's is it really tricky to get into the school.

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Yeah. I think it's getting harder now as well. It's like I'm getting like a bigger reputation and stuff. Yeah. We were getting like bigger buildings things. Yeah. I think, I think that actually almost hit the limit and we hadn't even finished all the auditions all the time. But yeah, it was, I guess it was, I didn't kind of because I think like it was always like it was my only other option. Yeah. I felt like there wasn't really anything else I could do.

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And I guess because I've always known that it could be an option. Yeah. But yeah, I don't think it's really about it. It's stuff. And I think also the thing that's the hardest about it is like if you get a degree at uni and then you don't use that degree, that's quite common like a lot of people do that because you get a degree and then for the sake of having a degree. Yes, but we need like that or music, theatre, acting.

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And you don't get a job in that thing. You are looked at like it and there's a certain level of success. So like, you know, when someone says they're an actor, you've I seen you in anything and they're like, well, no, I only do this and that. People are a bit like me. That's not that great, but like it is. And do you feel pressured in that way after you've done? You've got to do well now and stuff.

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But it's subjective, like a really good jobs guy would be to be on a cruise ship. Yeah. To some people, they like to work on a cruise ship like I mean, that sounds pretty great to me. I hate to say it because I get like free holidays. Yeah. If you're I'm pretty sure, like, if you're not online for a certain amount of time of the year and then you attach it totally. Oh no, I didn't even consider that.

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So if you can do that, you don't show up. But yeah.

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So yeah, I think sometimes it's the stigma around it. Yeah. Pretty negative. Do you want from dancing when I can I tend to more watch the clips need to start with my phone. I like think strictly phones they are well so now I'm just going to envisage you know the pros and for ten years time I know there they are. Yeah. That's ridiculous because I've have to come up with this. Like you is like something that's suitable for the people that.

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Oh yeah. Super tricky because I know I've seen you like you've got like week clips on Instagram or Facebook and stuff could be done soon. So I know you're extremely good at it. But do you ever feel like because it's such like you said, hard place to get into, do you ever feel a sort of like imposter syndrome like you almost not meant to be there? Or are you really confident and like, no, I'm amazing this I should be here?

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Well, I think like because there's like there's a lot of self-doubt in it from everybody. And I'm a little bit older in the class. It's like a girl in the class is like the same age as my brother. You can't hold your brother. OK, so I'm twenty and she's like seventeen, OK. And when we met she was sixteen. So I didn't I felt like like a grandmother. I am. So I sometimes feel like I'm always like comforting.

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But I think I terms of that we wouldn't get in who weren't good enough. They wouldn't take us on. I think if they really didn't think we were going to make it, they would eventually say, look, we need to revisit this as, you know, a higher option because what's the point in doing it if you're not if you're not going to? But everyone's got their own strengths. I there's a girl in the class who's like she did gymnastics, like, your whole life, literally insane.

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She can do so many cool flips. Yeah. And I'm just kind of like you heard the story of me trying to really feel after that, you know, like cracking over my head. So, yeah, like there's definitely things they can do that I can, but I can do. OK, that's great. You know, I think it's just what you can do with an open mind and realizing really amazing. Sometimes it's like what your body can and can't be like something like physically can do it, you know.

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So yeah. I've got to go with the flow. What was the audition like to get in like I can't imagine how drugs don't be afraid to go for an audition, you know, like a dance. Well, I suppose it's a bit better when you've been dancing since she was still prepared.

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In a way, it wasn't too bad actually. What did it involve the audition was? This is what they do in most places, is they'll do like a jazz class and a ballet class and you just take part in it and there's a bunch of people saying, like watching you and like Bobby, I can get no, no, they've got your photos or something. So they like look. And then they'll judge what they think. And then you have to do a solo.

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Oh, well, I see.

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So you just make up your 13 year old with OK and give it back. How long as a minute and a half. OK, so that's quite a long time when you're dancing with it isn't it. Isn't it. Yeah. It doesn't feel too long but it's stressful to try and think. But I was quite fortunate because by the time I was auditioning dirty like except quite a few dance people so there wasn't as many people auditioning for that. I didn't think musically and in the five of us auditioning for that into the musical theater.

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OK, great. I'm for the ballet and the jazz and because people who tend to do the theater don't tend to be as strong with it and say it meant that like you. Right. So I was like I was like, yeah.

[00:29:04]

Do they give you like any feedback or anything on the small night with none. That's horrible. Like it. Yeah, it's totally it's almost just like the worst things would come into my mind. Did you have like afterwards you were like, oh god, I messed up or did you like feel like I know. Thought when you came out. I feel when I came out like, like a fist bump and I was like, I was nervous because I was like, if that's not good enough then I don't know what I'm going to do, OK?

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But I was like like I couldn't have done it. Yeah, I knew that if you didn't get in and that I was obviously not as good a dancer as I thought I was. Just the level was so high that I don't like to live with regret. It was just me being like, what do I do now? OK, yeah. Yeah, OK. That was probably the super stress though, like doing it or like leading up to it.

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Like, I'll give you an example on one of the first year of uni for the first exams I took for uni. Yeah. I didn't feel like I was stressed at all. Like I felt pretty calm. But then obviously I was super stressed because I felt super unwell. Yeah. I actually threw up on my way to my first example, you know, because although I didn't like I didn't feel like I was like super nervous, although I must have been, like in my subconscious, I was like, yeah, this is my first exam.

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I don't know what it's going to be like is meant to be so much harder in school. So maybe even though, you know, like aware of it, maybe like physically you show signs that your nervous was out of present or were you just sort of like, oh, well, my mom didn't say to me she thought I was nervous about it.

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And I think it was again, because I was like I made the decision to go for this. I've talked to my parents. Face it, I've realised that it's going to be high sat still. They're saying no, absolutely. Yes. OK, I think I was like, yeah, I feel like if I hadn't, I'd have been. And quite a lot of people knew better by that point. I could of gone back to my dad's school and asked for help.

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And I was kind of like, now everyone knows I'm doing it.

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So when you tell people you're doing your driving test can tell they have never I don't care if it's because of problems with friends like you.

[00:31:17]

Just don't tell them that's a really positive mentality to go unless it's a good way to face challenges, to say I'm just going to give my all. And if it doesn't work out and it doesn't, well, find another path. Exactly. Because I totally is corny and cheesy as it may sound. I do believe what's meant to be will be like, you know, what's right. And that is not right. Yeah. Do you think this is slightly often, but do you tend to think I had a lot like you say, oh, I'll do this dancing and then I'll do this.

[00:31:48]

I'll do this, would you to try and like live in the moment almost and say like, oh, I've got like this year of dance and I'm just going to live that experience. And Joy, are you thinking, oh, I'll be happy when I've left here? And does that make any sense? No, it does. And the thing is, if I'm quiet, like I, I think a million miles ahead. Yeah. Everything I do.

[00:32:08]

But with dance, like, you can't really do that because you have to change all the time. OK, if I stayed my degree, I knew where I wanted to go and I knew what I wanted to do and I knew what I had to do.

[00:32:18]

And that's the good thing about what you've done. It's now you all for the moment, is that like presumably when you were doing the politics course, she was saying, well, I'll get this degree and then I'll maybe go into dancing or maybe I'll do something else after, like, once. So enjoying the course as it is in the moment. Yeah, because now you're doing dancing like, you know, I've got three year and a half afterwards.

[00:32:41]

I'm an absolute failure. And then it was not very good. You don't to just tell me. I totally, totally OK.

[00:32:52]

What you mean. Well I'm sure people heard by now is the you're really nice to be personable to chat to. Have a great quality about you, and I've noticed like when like we've been sat in the stock, for example, when you came over and like as soon as you go, we talk about, you know.

[00:33:14]

Yeah, you know, everyone's always like saying how nice you are to speak to and how cool is when you come up and have a conversation. I feel like when I'm speaking to you, you're so like yourself, almost like you sort of just a hold of yourself and don't really mind if people like don't like you, whereas people like tend to like you because you're so yourself. Yeah. So is it something you're conscious of the like a lot of people think of you maybe.

[00:33:46]

Yeah, I'm quite I usually can tell if somebody doesn't like me. OK, but is it something like worry about if you are going up to someone saying I hope they like to like me or and I get to pay. And I said I think it sometimes depends on how confident I'm feeling at that time in my life. Two drinks and back and there's a bit more confidence in each other here. But yeah, I feel like if I'm in an all right place and somebody doesn't like me and they don't have, like, a particularly good reason or like it's not like, yeah, they are problem and there's not really anything I can do about it.

[00:34:20]

And I know there's a quality I kind of wish I had like I feel like I think way too much about what other people think of me, but like yeah. Like you've already said that you went to Glasgow and pretty much knowing nobody, I'm just going out like chatting to people and presumably making friends. Yeah. So like to have that sort of self-confidence in yourself. Where where do you think it comes from. Like how do you do you know or don't know.

[00:34:49]

You don't know. No. The thing is, is I, I'd say it comes from my dad. OK, he's quite because I mean my brother, my brother is the complete opposite. I was like I took is a bit introverted so massively OK. He, he is fine with me, I'm with the family, his close mates. But like when we go visit family in England, he just is like completely quiet. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:35:12]

OK, yeah. I took all the confidence from our parents and yeah. I don't know, I don't know where it comes from. I think it's just like I'm just super energetic sometimes that's what triggers it. I also think it's quite nice to like I'm saying, like you have this quality. I think it's quite nice to let people know these qualities have something. I'm trying to do more because it was when I was at camp in America, they kind of taught you to do this in the week of training.

[00:35:40]

Yeah. With kids instead of if they did something great, like if they, like, cleaned up after themselves, really what like took the dishes away or something without being asked or something like that. Yeah. Then instead of saying like, oh that was a great job and just sort of leaving it there, you say that was a great job. You showed great responsibility there. And then yeah, I saw it like in a couple of years time or when there schools they can if someone says what are you good, then they can say I'm really responsible and this and that, rather than just saying, hey, you do a good job because if someone does something wrong, the first thing you tend to tell them is like they're stupid.

[00:36:21]

You. Yeah, the specific thing to their bottom. But when we sort of lift people up, we never really tell them that specifically because I can see because I think again, this is maybe a British thing where we just we we could tell people when they've done wrong, but when they've done it, it's a bit like, yeah, we feel well, it's also like more awkward to receive compliments.

[00:36:41]

Oh, yeah. It was just sort of like shifting in style. It's it's hard to, like, accept compliments. I think that's a very British thing as well. But it is it is something I think is quite important to do. So, yeah, I think one more question. So the fact that you are seemingly so comfortable in yourself, do you do you feel really secure in yourself and like that you can just talk to anyone and start a conversation with them?

[00:37:17]

Like maybe how if someone was less confident, how would you try and persuade them to go the show? Like, do you try and convince your brother to go out or is there a way that you'd like to give people advice to like that? Because I think that's something that's not all that common. Yes. The ability to go to people. Yeah, I think I would be more likely to just encourage them to come with me to think, OK, I have a friend who says you wouldn't think that.

[00:37:47]

She said struggles with new people. She does. And I'm always like I just come with me to this election. Think that's really good. Yeah. When am I going to base our friends from home or like something else? I might just come along like. Yeah. With me, like my friends, so you can say at night and be fine, especially when you had a drink like it even the other day, because I told you everything, something, the more that it becomes scary.

[00:38:13]

I know I could be I don't know. I think if somebody seems less comfortable, then that makes it a lot easier for me to approach them. Yeah, I feel OK, not because I feel superior or anything, just sort of like I, I don't know. I feel like comfortable. Yeah. That they're uncomfortable. That's a great call to harvest the blues because I'm like well I don't know if feel like I don't know, I just don't, I find it easier but I'm ok.

[00:38:41]

Thanks. I'm like trying to be full of it. Yeah. Just got people and yeah I think it's OK if he's like Glasvegas. My jobs have been working like at my since on the town. Yeah. Are you saying when you have to talk to strangers. So I think OK, the fact that and I mean you sit on a table and you're asking people how their data is what you're like scanning their items.

[00:39:03]

Yeah, I never do that. I just stand there in silence. That's weird. Yeah. It's a bizarre thing that I'm like, you have to talk like it is something you can definitely benefit from just talking to.

[00:39:15]

Like my probably my best friend from university, I was just on Starbucks doing like revision on the campus and I knew from the time she was in my class. So she was in much toils and she just came up to me and while she was waiting for a friend that she was meeting them, she's like, Oh, can I sit and chat with you all the way for my friend? And I was like, Yeah, yeah. And then we ended up being like really great friends.

[00:39:40]

So I mean, I know. So you can definitely gain something from just kind of people when they said move committed to the questions if been ready in row.

[00:39:53]

So do you have a go to snack.

[00:39:56]

A banana. OK, nice and healthy though. Yeah. I just think. But not some less healthy ones. Yeah. Well I like the task. I do that really really small, like ridiculously small size bananas and I just it's not something I use because it's not like, you know, it's got like a lot of energy. Yeah. Like good for dancing. Exactly. Once one personal page that everyone should follow on social media, it's going to say like it's not funny.

[00:40:24]

I'm sorry, but I say like Amnesty International. Yeah. Yes. Cause they have so much information about things that people just wouldn't even know. Yeah, we live in a bubble. It's like they say there was something about them all these years and everyone's always like Moses was such a good holiday life and stuff. And I'm like, yeah, but also like this and this and. Yeah. And so I think it's it's a good one to know what's going on in the world.

[00:40:48]

Do you have a guilty pleasure. Country music. I know you said yeah. It's the three of us. Yeah. The three of us. Enjoy it on the drive here. I got to play country music in my car like I never get here. My friends hated me. So do you have a favorite curse word like you? But we see people coming and going, oh, maybe I'll say the phrase, that's OK, favorite. And yeah.

[00:41:19]

What's your favorite quality about yourself? Does my hair count. Yeah. Yeah. Well now you said I'm so personable. I'll go for that one. OK, my hair or my personality.

[00:41:30]

OK, I'm one thing you'd like to improve about yourself. My height. That's a tricky one.

[00:41:35]

To improve my height and maybe my and my worrying about things like, all right, if my control like this, like a plane crashing, you know, I hate going on planes, but there's nothing I can do. And it's going to crash. It's going to crash. It's like I can save everyone, OK? Yeah, yeah, yes. Totally irrational things. OK, great. Well thank you for joining me. Yeah. Thank you. I feel like I should say bye but.

[00:41:59]

All right, so what was our conversation. I hope you enjoyed listening to it as much as I did recording it and weren't to put off by the background noises if I was to record in a cafe again, I think I'll have to make sure that slightly less busy before deciding to record there. In the meantime, before the next episode, feel free to follow my Instagram page. A proportional response. You can like my Facebook page, a proportional response with Sean Walker, and you'll hear from me again shortly with another phone guest.