We turn now to our weekly segment, TikTok, where we take a closer look at the story behind this sensation. Relationship rules and self-love are her Holy Grail, forming the core of her debut book, I didn't know I needed this. Tiktok star turned author Eli Raleigh brings fans along on second dates, difficult conversations, and big sisterly advice. Let's take a look. How I love being a woman. And Eli joins us now. Welcome to the show.

Hi. Thank you so much for having me.

You say that you're fascinated by love, relationships, and people, and now you've written a book about it. Share the inspiration behind your work.

I've always just loved the idea that when we have conversations about things that confuse us or scare us or make us uncomfortable, we can really feel more uncomfortable or more comfortable or less scared. We can really mitigate some of that discomfort. That was always something that I noticed, just in female and nonmale circles that I was in throughout my childhood and my young adult life. I really wanted to put all of that in a book where I could just ask questions, pose questions, and open up discussions for people to say, Does anybody else feel like this, or is anyone else going through this? And can we all feel a little bit less alone together? Whether we're dating or we're single or we're in a relationship, I feel like there's so much unsaid, and I just wanted to be the one to say it.

And you're also currently on a live book tour. What can your fans expect?

I think it's the year of Taylor Swift, of the Ares tour. And I realized while I was at the Ares tour how safe I felt to not only dress up and be crazy and sing, but just to be myself. Something that I learned from the experience of going there was that I wanted to be able to replicate that in a much smaller and more intimate space. Every show is unique with different guests, and and bits and games that we play. It's just been an absolute whirlwind, and I'm so, so grateful for it.

What I have found with a number of the people that we interview, a lot of people want to write a book, and people often ask me, How do you get published or how do you get a literary agent? Well, you actually leverage TikTok in order to get that first book deal. How did you do it?

Tiktok, I have so much gratitude for the platform because especially when I started in 2020 and 2021, The name of the game was really like random people going viral in the pandemic. But I always knew that TikTok was something that brought me joy. But I wanted to figure out how can I become the professional writer I've always wanted to be from this platform. So I started to post my writing for everybody to see whether that was on TikTok or Instagram or a Substack blog. And I just kept talking about how much I wanted to write a book, how that was always my lifelong dream. And giving that information away allowed my agents to be signaled to my platform. They then read through my writing and saw the work that I was doing, and they reached out to me. I always tell people, you just never know who's going to see it, no matter how small you perceive your platform to be or your audience to be, you just never know who might be the first person to see that and say, I see something here.

Really great advice. You never know who's watching. And you are also known as the go-to guru for pop culture advice in all things growing up, often hailed as the Carrie Bradshaw of the TikTok age. You We dive into these topics on your podcast, Ms. Congeniality. What else can listeners expect?

Ms. Congeniality is so special to me. I always say it's like the backstage pass into my life. The podcast is so special for that, but it's really a range. I do long-form advice segments where we're talking about really big topics like moving on from heartbreak or dating, sex, relationships. And then I have segments with guests where we explicitly talk about Taylor Swift. And then I have experts on who navigate topics that I have no personal experience in. I just find it so important that because I've been given a platform, I feel that I have a massive responsibility to uplift other people and their stories and their voices. And the podcast has been such an integral and special way to do that. And my podcast, it's on a bit of a hiatus while I've been on book tour, but we're coming back March first, and I miss it. So I'm very excited.

Glad you're making a return. Eli Raleigh, we thank you so much for joining us, and you can check out Eli on TikTok at Eli Raleigh for advice you didn't know you needed.

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