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Well, we're doing a live show from Salt Lake City. I know you guys love the live shows. So we travel around and we bring them to you up on stage. God knows, hijinx always. And so. So buckle up. Get ready for a nice live comedy show brought right to your earbuds. Thanks to me. And first, I want to say I better help overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, better help online licensed professional counselors who are trained to listen and help connect with your counselor and a safe, private online environment.

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And live from Wise Guys Comedy Club in Salt Lake City and brought to you by BET online, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, David Kleckner with Teresa Strasser on News& Ball. Brian on sound effects, plus a round of the Rotten Tomatoes game. And now you can't get a covid test because it might ruin the nasally drone. You've come to know and love atto. Thanks, you guys. Appreciate you coming out and being normal with us tonight.

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It's funny, you guys are wearing masks, which is no know. That's good. That's good. And so, you know, I'm from L.A., so everyone's freaked out in L.A. I'm not freaked out.

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And the only person is less freaked out as Mike Augusts, who I travel with. And we landed here about about an hour ago and we got in the Uber and Mike and I weren't wearing a mask. And the guy looked at both of us and he handed me a mask and I said, thanks. And I put the mask on. And then he looked at Mike and he handed him a mask and Mike said, no thanks.

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He thought it was like 1993 or something like that guy was just a crazy Chinese guy, wanted to put a mask on, but we worked that out.

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I will say on a philosophical note, and I hate when comedians get all sort of philosophical, but I will say this.

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The last time I was out here at Wiseguys in Salt Lake City, there was an old friend of mine named Jeff Katz, who I went to high school with, and he moved out here and he fell in hard wood and blah, blah, blah. And I was coming into town and found out I was coming to town. And he said, Hey, Dad, you know that my nickname was AD, which was short for Adam. I guess you guys did that math.

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And speaking of math, add, right.

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So we he said, what do we meet for beer or something before you go out on stage on on Saturday night. I said, yeah, that be cool.

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So we met at the sports bar, which is right across the way here. So yeah, we'll meet at like 4:00, we'll have a few beers and then I'll go out on stage and it'll be great. So we sat down and told me all about his son and, you know, his job and his life is getting ready to run a marathon and blah, blah, blah.

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And then we had a great time as good reminisce with my old high school buddy. And then about six months later, about six months ago, his son contacted me and said Jeff died in his sleep and we're getting a funeral together for him.

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So it was like I was like, wow, we're just sitting around having a beer and the guy's gone.

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And I know that's the opposite of comedy, but what I'm really glad I said to him when he said, you're coming to Salt Lake City, why don't we grab a beer?

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I was like, yes, we should grab that beer versus I'm busy. I got to beat off for third time and out of town. You know how it is. Call my publicist. I was like, yeah, let's have a beer. And we sat down for three hours a hundred feet from here, and we had a beer and we got all caught up on everything. And it was almost like, well, now we're caught up. You can die, I guess.

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Oh, he probably felt that same way about me. So it's probably like a coin toss, like we're all caught up. Parola can die.

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But so it was a little bit of a homecoming here tonight because I felt like God, the last time I was here is hanging out with Jeff.

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I was also we flew privately here, which is a big deal. We flew on. Mark Geragos is Chiat, Mark Geragos, attorney Mark Geragos. Everyone hates Mark Geragos. He knows even his wife hates him. It's fun.

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But we did fly here on his jet because he's got a case going on here. He wasn't even on his jet. We just flew on his jet. But I was thinking to myself, if you think about flying private, like if you think about flying private, it kind of encapsulates. All parts of the United States, this country, and then sort of the human experience, because flying private is like when you fly private, you go, well, how does that work?

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Well, how does it work? You don't go to the Burbank Airport over here. You go to the back side, you show up, you pull up in your car, someone grabs your bags with you ride out to the plane, you jump onto the plane, you fucking take the pilot, you slap them on the ass. You go like smoking Hoca man. And he goes like that. And then at some point he goes, You want to sit up front?

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He tells us. And then you just sit on the plane and you pull open your cooler and you start crack IPAs and you're laughing and then they pull you out. The car pulls up the thing and it's like then you announce at some point, this is the greatest thing ever. I should fly this way all day, every day. And then someone goes, how much is the flight from Burbank to Salt Lake City? And then someone goes, I think it's twenty six thousand dollars.

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And you go, Oh, fuck that, I'm doing I'm going southwest. But what I'm saying is this. It's the best. It's the greatest. But it's twenty six thousand fucking dollars. Right. And so here's the thing with this country that we've lost sight of because we're all sitting around going with fuck those guys flying, they're flying private jets. They got their fucking stewardess up there to do what they're with. They don't have to go through security.

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Right.

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You can do it, too, if you want to spend twenty six thousand dollars on a fucking flight or you can wait in line and fly southwest and pay one hundred and eighty six dollars. But if you're going to do that, shut the fuck up.

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There is an option. You may fly on Garagos this plane, it's twenty six thousand dollars. So if you would not like to pay that amount again, shut the fuck up. That's right. Or suck up to Mark Geragos like I've done, evidently. All right. Let's see what I put on my card. I got stuff I want to talk about.

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Oh, OK, I. Oh, yeah, Trump's in Trump went to Walter Reed Medical Center, right, which is fine, I went to Walter Reed Junior High and Hollywood.

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Do you guys know there's a Walter Reed Junior High? I went to Walter Reed Junior High.

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As a matter of fact, I.

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I worry about Trump now because Walter Reed Junior High is a fucking hellhole. I can't imagine what the medical facility is like.

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You guys know who Walter Reed is? Walt, Walter Reed figured out that malaria was caused by mosquitoes going from one person to the next.

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That's what Walter Reed the reason we know who Walter Reed is, is because he figured out that malaria, by the way, I don't know that take a lot of brainpower to figure out this flying things.

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That sucks blood out of one human and then lands on another humans ass cheek and then sucks more blood. You don't think there's going to be infections going each direction. But Walter Reed. So when I was in the seventh grade and I went to Walter Reed Junior High and I don't know why Walter Reed Junior High, I don't know what Walter Reed has to do with North Hollywood. But Walter Reed Junior High is in North Hollywood, California. And the first day it was like, oh, it was induction day.

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It was like the day you show up and they teach you all about, you know, how the classes worked and how the bells worked and everything. Part of it was we learned what Walter Reed did.

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And Walter Reed was a naval doctor who somehow figured out that Mosquita mosquitoes, mosquitoes, transmitted malaria.

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That's all I got out of Walter Reed Elementary. Oh, yellow wasn't even fuck. It was yellow fever.

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Sorry, Macropod has a computer. Well, I didn't even get that that I didn't even know that. So yellow fever is right. And what do you have to do with North Hollywood? Because because Amelia Earhart was from North Hollywood and we had a school that was in Amelia Earhart School. But I don't know what Walter Reed.

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Nothing. I'm saying nothing. Just nothing. The only thing that says is there's a school named in his honor, North Hollywood.

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That's the one I went to. All right. So I was basically warehoused at Walter Reed Elementary, then later on went to North Hollywood High.

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A funny thing about going to North Hollywood High is when I tell people.

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I graduated from North Hollywood High, they go. Where is that fucking North Hollywood then it's the word high schools after that, but that was pretty much in North Hollywood. All right.

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So so Trump's got yellow fever, right? That's what we figured out. Or malaria. I can't remember which one.

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I think he's going to be OK. We'll figure it out. You know, we have no idea what's going on, but he seems to be I don't know, you know, when they do that thing where they go, he's resting comfortably. Do you think Trump can rest comfortably? I don't feel like he can rest comfortably. I feel like he's on the toilet tweeting right now and super uncomfortable.

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And Melania's got it, too, right. Does that mean they had relations or is that just mean they flew together? Marine One?

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I don't know. All right. Do they have relations? No. All right. All right. I have a I have a hypothetical.

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You guys name me the order, the relations order, Bill and Hillary. And that's the bottom line. OK, well, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hold on. Oprah, Stedman, new bottom your bottom. Let's give me the name of my Pilates studio. Welcome to New Bottoms. You clean the Amatzia every other month. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

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So we got Trump, Melania, we got Oprah, Stedman, and then we got Bill. Hillary, right. What what do we who's the boss we got to give Trump is do right. He's on top.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. But default he's default on top. And then we got Hillary Bill or we got Oprah, Stedman, Oprah.

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I say we got Oprah. I said we got Oprah and then we got Bill. Yeah right. Right.

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OK, I think, I think I don't want to be disrespectful but I think I think Oprah is good for like a twice a year titty fuck.

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Is that no disrespect? I mean, look, I'm a huge fan, but twice a year, right. Twenty five once a year. But no disrespect. I don't know. All right.

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Should we should we fire up? We got Kleckner, we got Teresa Strasser, we got Paul Briain in there. You guys all up. All right, there's there's yeah, there's Kleckner, there's. Yeah. Where is David?

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Good to see you, my friend. Where are you? You're back at home in San Fernando Valley.

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I'm in North Hollywood, California. Where is that? Yes. Yeah, you're in the same. Are you in the same place you always were? I moved. You know, I got divorced. So I'm in Sherman Oaks, which is North Hollywood adjacent. Yeah.

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Oh, I didn't know you got divorced. Sorry to hear that. Yeah, I didn't know I wasn't in your opening song I just wrote about if you had to pick a number about how many podcasts do you think you've done?

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Well, we got to be coming on this podcast here. All told. How many podcast. Oh, that's a good yeah, that's a good point. I've got to be well over 3000 just in sort of all told.

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But the songs are like the songs a lot.

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But this podcast, we've got to be twenty three, twenty four hundred by now. I don't know, Chris can figure it out. I don't, I know we're coming, we're coming close to 3000.

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We'll probably hit 3000 around early next year and you know we're going to be around next year.

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No we're not going to be around this world. Not going to be around.

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I've done probably twenty two thousand with Drew or maybe fifteen hundred with Drew, by the way.

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So, yeah, I may be 6000. The point is this will be a million hours to me digitally that no one will want to listen to after I'm dead.

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That's that'll be me. That'll be my legacy. Teresa Strasser, good to see you, my dear. Good to see you.

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I'm curious, are you Walter Reed, Junior High's most famous alum? Probably not, because Walter Reed Junior High's been around since like the thirties. I would imagine at least the teachers I had in the 70s were around since the 30s.

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And it's in it's at the bottom of Studio City. It's sort of sort of right where it flattens out. And there's a lot of celebrities live up in those hills.

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So there's been a lot of celebrities, kids at least, and a lot of celebrities who've gone through that school, because I I think and I think like North Hollywood High where I went, I think Carol Burnett went to North Hollywood High.

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Oh, not at all. No porn star Kristy Kanyon went to Walter Reed. So I'm already bumped off the top of the podium right there.

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I mean, Christy Cannon, by the way, Christy Cannon was there when I was there. She was at North Hollywood when I was there. And I tried to bang her when I was in high school. And she's like, please, I have standards like I have to go suck. Ron Jeremy, stick, please. Young Adam, please, I, I may have sex for money, but I do have a little something called dignity.

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OK, laugh. Yeah, yeah. I don't know Chris. You can look famous alumni from Walter Reed.

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I found one. John Ritter. Oh John Ritter.

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Oh yeah. You're already off the top. I know. I love that.

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John Ritter got his name was Mr. Birch Jumpier wood shop teacher there or in high school?

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No, I invented Mr. Berchem. The I used to believe he's not real. Well, no, he is kind of real, which is the the genesis for Mr. Berchem, the character I came up with for crack and the sort of angry shop teacher was based on the experiences I had at Walter Reed because we had Mr. Martin, who was the angry wood shop teacher. So Mr. Martin was a wood shop teacher. Then we had Mr. Gage, who was just super angry, metal shop teacher, and then we had Mr.

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Mendez, who was a super angry print shop teacher. And then we had Mr. Malon, who was a super angry. You're getting a theme here, right? All these students were fucking ripped shit, pissed off, hated kids. And it's back when you could punch kids like Mr. Malon was such a prick for he hee he he did plastics.

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It plastics was his class. Mr. Melon had a drinking fountain hooked up to the sink inside of his shop. And, you know, this is back before people had water totes and it was the San Fernando Valley. You'd be in school right now. It's 104 degrees, right? Hotter and shit. So Mr. Malon had this drinking fountain and there was something satisfying about that spring-Loaded handle, the sort of star shaped. You could turn it. The water would come out of there and it when.

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You so here's the deal, here's the policy with his drinking fountain that was at the sink right next to where everyone sat when you came into his class, you had to sit down.

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You could not use the drinking fountain. You had to sit right down. When we were working, you had to work. You could not use the drinking fountain. And when it was clean up time, you had to clean up. You could not use the drinking fountain. And when it was time to leave the class, you had to promptly leave you could not use to drink about. So this guy put a goddamn drinking fountain in the middle of his shop class and everyone is forbidden from using the drinking fountain because he was a dick, that's all.

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There is no other reason other than Mr. Malim is a fucking asshole. And that's why you couldn't use your drink. So Mr. Berchem came from all those guys who I hated. But Berchem was the name of a guy I played Pop Warner football with. It's on the Sun Valley Falcons in like 1978, correct? There. Yes. Sorry. Let's let's talk about you. Wait, wait.

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I want to know who did it, who got punched, who got punched. I thought I thought this is building up to someone took a break from Mr. Malins drinking fountain and someone got punched.

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No, there was there were some headlocks. Mr. Hensley got Mike Reese into a headlock. Some kind of teachers do have angry. This is a fucking 70s man, like in the 70s. If you fucked around with a gym coach or a shop coach, you got your ass kicked. Like that's pure and simple. No problemo. Nobody would stand up for you. That's that's the way it worked. I remember Mr. Mike Reese, who was obviously a troublemaker.

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Mike Reese was in my English class with Mr. Tompkins at Walter Reed. Mike Reese got angry at Mr. Tompkins and he stormed out of the class. And before he walked out of the door, he looked at Mr. Tompkins.

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Anyone sometimes I wish I could kick your ass. And he stormed out down the hall and Mr. Tompkins sprang to his feet, ran outside into the hall and yelled, Bring it on.

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That's my middle name to a fourteen year old, because that's the way shit used to go down. You want to fuck with Mr. Tompkins? He's a forty seven year old dude and you will fucking throw down in the halls and no one will defend Mike Reese because you're fucking with Mr. Tompkins. It was understood, Mike. I guess nowadays I'll send off a snarky, passive aggressive tweet.

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Right. Mike Reese also got into a crazy headlock with Mr. Hensley. Mr. Hensley was he was a fiz ed teacher and Mr. Hensley, it was pouring rain.

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We were sitting out in the quad. You know, we had the covering, but it was like driving rainstorm.

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And Mr. Mike Reese, once again, he had like a rapper for a sandwich and he tried to throw it in a trash can. The trash can was out in the field where the driving rain storm was sitting like through it.

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And he missed the trash can and it was driving rain. It was all muddy and everything that Mike just sort of let it lie.

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And Mr. Hensley saw him and he went, Reese, pick up that garbage and throw it in the trash can. And Reese kind of looked at him like, come on, man, it's pouring rain. It's all muddy. I got out there and he sort of turned his back to him and started to walk away. And Mr. Hensley got him in a fucking headlock, a fucking headlock, and started throwing or insert rag dolling him and dragged him out to the trash can and made him pick up that garbage.

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Oh, yeah.

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And we because it was nineteen seventy eight, we're like, fucking Mike should have picked up that garbage Mike.

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He fucked up. Shouldn't have pissed off Mr. Hensley. Wait so Hector, you grew up where what. You grew up at a small town.

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Right. Gipped in Missouri and Missouri.

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You must have seen a lot of that growing up. Right. Not from not from church. Well, God, we had a heavy set principal who did have a very large paddle with large drill holes in it.

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So so he could swing effectively, a lot less resistance.

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Yes. Right. And a few kids got that used on it. But that was like only the principal could dispense violence. Oh, really? Only the principal. Yeah.

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And they did have that slapped once by a nun in grade school. What would you do?

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Well, I was an honorary cuss anyway, but my dad was. President of the school board and this nun, Sister Mary Veronica, had worn out her welcome and had really gone off the rails and it was time for her to retire. And she didn't want to, by the way, I'm sure she was forty three at the time, right?

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No, she was probably in her 70s. It was time. And so my father was engineering her retirement. And so one day out of the blue, I'm walking down the hall and she says, David Kassner. And I said, Yes, SLAPP. And I was stunned. I mean, like, I've been in trouble and I deserve a slap now and again. But at this particular time, I'd done nothing. And I said, what was that for?

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And she goes, you know, wow, because your dad was orchestrating a coup, right?

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Yeah, in a way. I mean, he wasn't going to get rid of the priest, too.

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But how is it that your dad was, like, president of the school board? Was that awesome or did it suck? It's a very small school, small town, it's of no real consequence. I mean, you know, you're there. Why would it suck? I mean, it would suck.

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It would suck if you're a shitty student and you're truant and blah, blah, blah.

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And then your dad had all this firsthand knowledge or he is adamant this town is so incredibly small. Everyone has firsthand knowledge. Oh, really? Yes. That you can't do anything without the entire town knowing it. Truancy doesn't exist a real because yeah. Everyone would know someone wasn't there. And if you if you didn't go to school, I mean your mother would know by by 10 o'clock.

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Wow. How small what was the name of the town. How small was it.

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Well, the town happens to be the same name as the high school. It's tipped in high school in Missouri.

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How many kids went there or how do a call back to your North Hollywood High did you? The size of my high school, the size of my grade school class was 16. Well, we were we were the Catholic school and the public school had probably 30 kids. The mike the size of my graduating class in high school was sixty eight.

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And how did you figure out that you wanted to do comedy and sketch comedy and improvisational comedy? How did you get from there to here? Well, how long is your show, we got time. Well, you know what? I always enjoyed making people laugh. And so that was just something you do. You did, too. You just you're the class clown. You can't help it. So you're just going to do it. Right. And then about seventh grade, my my cousin Kim was in the high school play.

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There's only one play a year, but the whole town comes out to it over the course of two days. And I thought to myself, oh, wow. After that would be that would be something I'd like to do now. And then you kind of quietly put that away because dreams are not allowed in small towns. You don't have them. You don't share them. Because if you do, it's like, you know, way. How do you know that?

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Just it doesn't fit. So then I was also interested in politics. And then when I left high school, I was a poly sci major because this was before the Internet. You don't have no way to redress it in your head like that. That's a possibility. I'd never met an actor in my life. I didn't know what that was, blah, blah, blah. I mean, secretly, you do have that dream of I'm going to be on Saturday Night Live because I was 13 when SNL debuted in seventy five and I quietly told myself I even whispered it into my conscious because I couldn't let my might my subconscious, because I couldn't let my conscious mind know because it would tell me what are you doing?

[00:29:45]

So I decided I was going to be on SNL then. But anyway, so after, after I was a publicist major for three years and then I quit going to school because I realized I was going to be a lawyer. And then I told my dad I didn't make grades and he said, well, I don't know what you want to do, but you don't want to go to college.

[00:30:02]

That's the best piece of the business, by the way. And so I. I bummed around Columbia, Missouri, where the University of Missouri is. And then I took a trip to Chicago with a buddy of mine, Mike Strohmeyer, and went to Second City.

[00:30:16]

And then that's where I realized, oh, they teach classes. Now, again, Adam, this is how the small, small town mind works. This is back in the days clubs. They put comment cards or mail or mailing cards on the table with a golf pencil. So I taken a pack of matches as a souvenir and a golf pencil. And then on the way downstairs, I saw this, you know, poster for classes. And I surreptitiously wrote it on the back on the inside of this matchbook, you know, just kind of like I was writing anything because I expect someone to tap me on the shoulder, go, what are you doing?

[00:30:52]

You can't take class. You know, that's just the mindset you have in the small towns. So then I moved to Chicago with the second city and then I finally, finally, finally, finally got to the two thousand six hundred sixty six podcast Without Interruption by David Kec Narrabundah. By the way, his new movie is called Faith Based.

[00:31:16]

It's available on VOD and all digital platforms coming up October 9th, currently sitting at 95 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, which is about what is high as a comedy gets on Rotten Tomatoes with Jason Alexander and Margaret Cho on there as well.

[00:31:35]

So, yes, I watched it today. Yes, I did. I watched Faith Based. I quite enjoyed it. And a lot of times you have guests come on to promote a project, a movie or whatever.

[00:31:45]

And I'm really reaching for nice things to say. Like movies look very professional. You can tell, you know, they spent some money on it. Faith based on the faith based, a good movie.

[00:31:54]

It's a funny movie. It's about these two idiot friends who have brainstormed one day like these. These faith based movies cost nothing and they make millions of dollars. So we should just make one. And it becomes a sort of bumbling, you know, attempt to make a faith based movie seven out of three of the first prayer in space. Basically, it's it's just it's absurd, but it's a really sharp and it's really funny. And I endorse it to whoever is listening.

[00:32:18]

Now, that's that's the movie. Now, let's see if you get caught in a truth.

[00:32:22]

How's Kuchner characters on screen for about for about eight seconds. Come on, David. David, how long did you shoot on that movie? I'm guessing 45 minutes. One day now. One day. It's not a very memorable part of the movie. You're hilarious. But I was I was kicked off my life not not of holding the. Yeah, it's that sort of Kirk Cameron stuff for you guys like Firewalker.

[00:32:51]

And you're like you make fun of Kirk Cameron from the best of life or whatever is that sitcom, Bosom Friends, Growing Pains, Growing Pains. I don't like that guy's some kind of religious nut job. And that's like, yeah, he made a religious nutjob film for eight hundred and fifty thousand dollars that are grossed. Forty seven million dollars.

[00:33:11]

So out of. Yes. You're in Utah easily. Oh sorry.

[00:33:15]

Sorry is a dear friend. Just come up on the Late Show. Go bring me up. Oh that was never part of the movie was that it would have been so easy to be like that.

[00:33:26]

It's a soft target, you know, the faith based movies and the church groups and stuff.

[00:33:31]

It's just, you know, those obvious jokes that it reminds me in a way, stick with me of the man show in the sense that Adam and Jimmy could have made a bunch of lazy jokes. They did, but they could have been more. Yeah, the joke was almost always on you guys. The jokes always on these two idiot friends. You mean they're the butt of the joke? Yeah.

[00:33:47]

They're not really making fun of religion or no one's faith. They're making fun of the commas, the transaction of the cross. So, yes, exactly. It's actual nature of showbusiness.

[00:34:00]

Teresa Strasser, what do you been up to, little girl? And I got to say, you know, we were just in Phoenix last week or the week before. Yeah, I think it was a week before.

[00:34:13]

We're we're in Phoenix and we always whenever there always like hot. Teresa Strasser moved here and we didn't think she would last. We didn't think the sort of bohemian Jewish gal from the Bay Area who should be living in Tribeca would last in boring little Phoenix, Scottsdale, adjacent, wherever you are.

[00:34:37]

But the point is, as I said to everybody in the car, at a certain point, boring, inconsistent trumps everything every time all you want.

[00:34:51]

I realize I'm the same way. All I want is normal. I just. Yes, fucking normal. I don't want sexy. I don't want exciting. I don't want exuberant. I don't want to pay. What a digit your ass. No, I want a blowjob. I'm SBN. I want missionary, I want to, I want to drink a lucky lager and I want to watch ESPN. That's what I want. I want air conditioning and a blowjob.

[00:35:14]

I don't want crazy exotic. And you know what I said? I said, like all these cool hipster people like, oh, they want to drive a sixty four Mercury Comet. No, you want to drive a fucking Camry that works. You want to drive a Camry. That's air conditioning and it fucking starts every time you turn the key. You don't want all the cool sled and everyone's looking at you and how exotic because this shit doesn't run in, this shit doesn't work.

[00:35:41]

And I said that you took the Honda Civic with the cloth interior and you're fucking happy.

[00:35:47]

You know what? If you replace the timing belt, you can ride that Honda Civic into the ground. You ride three hundred thousand miles on that. As a mechanic's daughter, you're absolutely right. When I moved. Here I was, I was the gefilte fish out of water. I had never seen like I never lived in an open carry state, for example, where I went to the park with my kids.

[00:36:08]

And, you know, there's a guy just with his with his gun in his belt. And I just got used to it.

[00:36:12]

But what you're saying just the the the the Norman Rockwell life, like tomorrow I'm going to get out I'm going to take my kid to his club baseball game on and take my other kid to his basketball game. Then it's going to be Saturday Night Lights watching the kids play football. I live in just a regular neighborhood.

[00:36:30]

I know my neighbors and, you know, you and I, we sort of had a very different kind of childhood. We both come from fractured families. We lived in urban environments. I didn't carpool. I took the city bus to school.

[00:36:44]

So I'm sort of living the life that I wanted through my kids. What sometimes I miss it and I feel like my career is totally irrelevant. But you know what?

[00:36:54]

Here I am with you on the Adam Carolla Show Episode two thousand seven hundred eighty two or whatever you it.

[00:37:00]

Yeah, but it's so AirCell thing. I grew up the same way, like I grew up with those fucking bohemian hippie loser, depressed fuckhead parents.

[00:37:10]

And we would see people with like a white picket fence and a mowed lawn and cars that worked in the house and a roof that didn't leak.

[00:37:19]

We got look at those losers. Look it up. Oh, they were. I know. Yeah. What do they know? They probably like going to the Golden Corral and eating and they're probably like watching mainstream movies and they probably don't even know who Frank Zappa is, losers. And then at some point realize they're fucking happy and they're better than we are and we should just attempt to join them. That's that's that's what happened.

[00:37:47]

You said when you use Golden Corral as an example of high society. I know I dreamed I dreamed of going to a Red Lobster as a kid. That that to me. So out of Reifler was Sizzler was the pinnacle. Oh, Sizzler was. Yeah, that was great. Yeah. By the way.

[00:38:04]

Oh, speaking of Phoenix and David Kettner, that and some of his unsung work, he hosted the local Emmys and Rocky Mountain Emmys.

[00:38:16]

Oh, really? And I can't I can't describe to you guys. I know it's a thankless chore as far as show business goes, but he was so phenomenal.

[00:38:26]

He crushed every single thing he did and said was magic. It was totally perfect.

[00:38:31]

And yeah, hosting a regional Emmys probably isn't the thing you dreamed of doing, but you were really good at it.

[00:38:38]

You're very calm. Thank you. You're my favorite person on this show.

[00:38:42]

Little bit of faith based on price. All right. Sure.

[00:38:47]

We do a little we doing Rotten Tomatoes game here. OK, we'll do the Rotten Tomatoes in. Doesn't mean for play the game makes. That's right. Fred. We'll get him a chance to meet those guys, you know, how are we doing? I think we should play for people in the audience that Ron. I'm going to want to play for this couple.

[00:39:34]

Clearly, I can spot the top and the group because he's the one with that sort of handlebar there.

[00:39:43]

So you want to play for people, I feel like let's give it some steaks.

[00:39:48]

Is there any are there any cancer patients in the audience, any cancer patients?

[00:39:54]

Oh, well, I've play for me anyone who's going to be diagnosed with cancer, anyone right here, OK. All right.

[00:40:02]

This guy is going to be diagnosed with cancer. Got you, buddy. All right. So why don't you cover that couple, Dave CCAC there. Can you see out there, by the way, Max? Where's my camera? I just face this way. Oh, my camera's there. OK, so do that. They can see me ok. OK.

[00:40:19]

Oh, I got it. Yeah. Who would you like. Would you like to play for.

[00:40:23]

I see, I see a young lady with a bald man yelling. Yes. You see the checkered shirt. Thank you. Is that a bald. Yes. Yes. Young lady, you're bald. All right. I see you're doing. That's right. Come on. That's your car. Teresa Strasser, may I have the lady of that couple? She's only.

[00:40:42]

Oh, I'll double the chances.

[00:40:45]

OK, all right. We're only winners. All right. Go ahead, Dawson. And we all know that Salt Lake City is home to the famous Gateway Arch. But you did you also know that Salt Lake City is also the home base for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints.

[00:41:04]

That's crazy. In honor of that, this week's Rotten Tomatoes game features actors that are or once were Mormons.

[00:41:14]

Oh, OK.

[00:41:16]

Actors. Amy Adams is a Golden Globe winner and six time Oscar nominee.

[00:41:21]

Obviously, you can attribute all of that success from her Mormon upbringing, which she was raised until her parents divorce.

[00:41:30]

She had many iconic roles over the years, though most recently, including as Superman's girlfriend, Lois Lane from 2016, Batman versus Superman, Dawn of Justice.

[00:41:44]

All right, so I feel like I got lost because they started doing this. All right, so here's the thing. We're kind of talking about this on a show earlier in the week. But I mean, here's here's why.

[00:42:03]

Here's the thing with the here's my problem with Mexican cuisine.

[00:42:10]

I like Mexican food. I do. I love Mexican food. But who are you guys kidding? It's like, what are you got for breakfast? Well, we got beans and rice and beef and tortillas and eggs and cheese. OK, what's for lunch?

[00:42:26]

For lunch. We got cheese and then we got rice and we got beans. If we got beef and we got tortillas, then what's for dinner? Oh well dinner is totally different. Dinners, beef and then beans and then rice and then cheese and then tortillas. You just fucking take the same shit and doing it in a different order. It's all the fucking same. You never fucking mix it up. And this is a certain point with the Marvel and the comic universe like what do we got when we got Superman, we got Batman, we got Aquaman.

[00:42:56]

All right. What's our next movie? Well, we got Aquaman fighting Batman and then Superman. All right. What's the next one? Well, this one is totally different. This one, Superman taking on Aquaman with an assist by Batman.

[00:43:08]

How about you fucking cover the new movie? You can't just keep coming up the same fucking nine people fighting each other in perpetuity. Oh, no, no. I got a new idea. What's this one? Well, this one's Batman, Aquaman, Superman and Wonder Woman, and then they're fighting somebody else. It's like, how about you come up with an idea for a movie that isn't the same people doing the same shit over and over again? This is we did this with alien fought predator at a certain point.

[00:43:41]

I don't want to fucking see Larry Holmes fight my Muhammad Ali for the next 75 years. Find a new opponent, that's all. All right. Sorry, I'm not interested in this fucking shit. Bryan probably saw it, Bryan. I truly disliked this movie.

[00:44:00]

But I'll be honest, I don't think the critics disliked as much as Kettner.

[00:44:06]

You see this movie? I'm sure I saw it with my kids, but I have no memory of what happened. That sounds about right yet because, you know, there's a point I can't remember.

[00:44:16]

And this one is Batman dead. And he comes back to life right now. It's also how much of the population is destroyed because they have to fight each other.

[00:44:27]

Also, again, back to my Mexican food analogy. It's like saying I got drunk and went to Tijuana. What did they serve you? Was the breakfast, lunch or dinner? I don't know. There were beans. I don't know. There's rice and beans and there were tortillas and there was salsa. I have no idea what time of day it was because we don't delineate. It's all just the same fucking thing. All right. I'm Teresa Strasser.

[00:44:56]

You go first. I have not seen this movie, nor have I played this game. So I'm not exactly certain. But I'm supposed to guess what I what percentage? I think this got Enron to me.

[00:45:06]

Yes, that's right. I'm going to let Brian go first because I think he always wins this.

[00:45:11]

But you go and you lock in your score. Oh, OK. So not me.

[00:45:18]

I put it on a piece of paper, right. Yeah, that's OK. That's right for me. Theresa, since you are going first year, you can just say your score.

[00:45:25]

Thank you. Oh I do like in the clock it in every locked in. I kind of.

[00:45:31]

Can I ask a question since Brian that you said critics loved it. No, no, no, no, no.

[00:45:37]

I don't know that at all. I'm simply saying I really disliked it. However, I suspect suspect don't know the critics liked it more than I did.

[00:45:45]

I some locking mine in. Are you locked in?

[00:45:48]

Is everyone locked in? I'm locked in. I'm emotionally locked in. I'm in. Yes. All right. I'm at sixty seven percent now.

[00:45:56]

Pretty close I would to give it like a forty but critics say seventy.

[00:46:00]

Seventy one. Batman versus Superman. Fifty three and you got to race seventy six, seventy six, OK. Batman versus Superman, Dawn of Justice is rotten. Oh. Hmm. At 28.

[00:46:19]

Oh, please. Oh, really? So please let me know. Wow, that is bad.

[00:46:27]

Oh, that's not a good movie.

[00:46:29]

Also, in terms of the copout factor, like in the future, it's always raining too fuckin easy from a filmmaking standpoint. It's like the dark dystopian future where it's just raining all the time and then they have to save Gotham or the town fuck Gotham. It's always raining. Move on.

[00:46:51]

Now, what about do you not put the the tomato meter and the audience score together and then come out and now we're all off.

[00:46:59]

We listen to Brian because Brian said he didn't like it, but he said the critics may have.

[00:47:04]

I really thought they did. To be fair, David's in the lead. He had the lowest score. Yeah.

[00:47:08]

The poster looks so dark and moody, I thought it would be critical, darling.

[00:47:11]

All right. Here we go. Katherine Heigl credits Mormonism for helping her family cope through her brother's tragic death. She's perhaps best known for her roles in Grey's Anatomy and Knocked Up.

[00:47:24]

But she later appeared in another romantic comedy opposite Gerard Butler, who who shadowed Adam Corolla on radio show researching his role for this film.

[00:47:38]

He did, yeah. From 2009, The Ugly Truth.

[00:47:43]

Well, I want to say this may be controversial, but I do know the nuts and bolts of Katherine Heigl's brother's death.

[00:47:51]

And it really wasn't that tragic.

[00:47:53]

It just wasn't too tell. It was pretty basic, straightforward stuff that I don't want to get into it. But that's that's my point of view. It was all pretty straightforward. Pretty basic stuff. She or he had a beer with Adam's friend who used to sell hardwood floors. Oh, come on.

[00:48:16]

How dare you how dare you besmirch the memory of Jeff. Dear friend. The dear friend. Yeah, he did. Right.

[00:48:27]

So Gerard Butler came in and shadowed me for a day based on I don't know what, but this was all this was Teresa Strasser and her improvisational best.

[00:48:39]

Right. That whole business thing much.

[00:48:41]

Yes, but but it was the morning after the Jimmy's Super Bowl party, right. Do you know the story, Teresa? And they vaguely.

[00:48:54]

You don't know it. All right, Brian, do you know the story? Oh, man, I don't know. OK, so I know. Go ahead. So keep going. I don't know the story. So what happened? And I don't Maxo, Paddy, you can probably find it on the Internet.

[00:49:07]

It must have been I don't 2007 or something was Teresa.

[00:49:13]

So the bit and the reason he came in, the reason Gerard Butler came in to like Shadow Me was based on this bit. And the bit was Jimmy Kimmel had a Super Bowl party. I think it was the Patriots Giants game, as I recall, back in 2007 or eight or whatever it was.

[00:49:36]

And I went to Jimmy's house and I got shitfaced and had a good time at the party. There was a Kathy Griffin was there and a bunch of other like celebrities and funny, interesting people were there.

[00:49:50]

And then I got back and I had to do the morning show the following Monday. And I was telling you, Teresa, that I got shitfaced at Jimmy's party.

[00:50:01]

And then we went through this whole long sort of improvisational bit where you would say to me, did you see the Doritos commercial?

[00:50:12]

And then I would go, No, I was up on the roof with a crossbow yelling, drink from your helmets.

[00:50:20]

And then you'd go, Oh, you missed that part. And then you'd go, Did you see the halftime show? And then I would go, No, and then explain something insane. Or else I was doing some other drunken thing I was doing. And this thing went on for fifteen minutes. If you going you caught on and you would keep saying, did you see the Skittles commercial with the kittens? And I would go, no, I was yelling anti Semitic epithets and added to that either accosted in the streets and then you'd go, oh did you?

[00:50:55]

And I would just say another crazy drunken thing. Do you remember that?

[00:51:00]

Yes, now I do. And that was a good bit. It was it was a one time sort of crazy, stupid bit. And allegedly Gerard Butler heard that bad. And this. Cited, that's the guy I should shadow to make this movie. That's probably not in the 30s on Rotten Tomatoes, like it's probably a mid 20s movie.

[00:51:23]

It's not supposed to be good. Yes, it is.

[00:51:26]

Gerard Butler plays a radio, a shock jock type radio guy.

[00:51:33]

Honestly, honestly, I think first. No, I mean, not really sassiness this.

[00:51:40]

He has got hygiene concentration. You know, when when you're Gerard Butler and you're at the height of your powers and you're driving along your car and you're listening to us on the radio and you go, that guy's funny, then you just go, I want to shadow him. But that just means you want to go see the inside of the studio not talking to the microphone like he never did anything. We did. He didn't. We're never allowed to address it.

[00:52:04]

Then he was sitting there, right. He didn't approximate me in any way, shape or form. I think he just thought it was like like you're driving along. You think it's funny, you just want to go in and check it out. Like, I think that's what happened. Maxford is that thing on the Internet. What do you punch it in or what is it? We found it before. I think we have found we did find that thing before.

[00:52:28]

Would you punch it? What do you what do you want? One million hours of Adam Carolla out there in the universe?

[00:52:35]

Yeah.

[00:52:35]

In the digital woods.

[00:52:37]

Well, first, I'm trying to find out. First I was doing The Ugly Truth, Adam Carolla, and then I was trying to I don't think it's ugly truth. I wouldn't start.

[00:52:44]

And then I did three Strasser improvment, Adam Corolla, Caillat sex, I think Jimmy Kimmel, Super Bowl, Super Bowl party in Super Bowl.

[00:52:53]

You know, we have a lot of Super Bowl stars that Kimmel. Oh, OK. Well what are you going to do. I don't worry about Gerard Butler. OK, ugly truth, the Super Bowl, Kimmel, you know, sex.

[00:53:04]

All right. All right. I saw this movie is not a good movie. I only saw it because he he, you know, shadowed me. So is there one locked in?

[00:53:15]

Yes. OK, yes. All right. I'm going to go first and I'm going to go. Twenty nine percent, a little over twenty one that bad, I want 15, 15, probably. Forty forty forty six because I thought they might like these too. Somehow.

[00:53:35]

I don't know how old the ugly truth is. Rotten. At 14, oh, wow, wow. Off by one, wow, that's a stinker.

[00:53:50]

Oh, yeah, well, that'll teach him to shadow me, right.

[00:53:56]

And again, the audience audience, they still liked it. Yeah. It was fresh at 16. That and your relationship with your art. I think that's the only time I've ever met him. I think he just came into the studio. He sat, you know, on the other side of the studio. He we interviewed him. You know, it's like it's so funny because he was a A-list actor at the time.

[00:54:25]

And I'd be like, who's coming on this week?

[00:54:28]

And it'd be like, well, we got the chick from Lowrider magazine. She won like Miss Left Ass Cheek Award show, not the whole last, but she did the left open. So she's Miss Left Behind from Lowrider magazine. So she's coming in in the seven o'clock hour and then the eight o'clock hour we got together, we got a phoner from the news guy who he's the guy he's a news guy from Kentucky who dropped an F bomb. Remember, we remember that was going around the Internet.

[00:54:57]

He said, oh, it's fucking raining. But they bleeped it out and he's calling it like, your brother's right there. Can we get him on the fucking mike? And it's like now as that he's not going to talk that. And later on, we got the guy who came up with the phrase, Here come the judge.

[00:55:14]

So I'll tell you said it. The guy came up with it. Came up. Yeah. Not the guy said it. No, that was Flip Wilson. He used to write for laughing back in the 60s. And he came up with Here come the judge. He's in his 80s. He's pretty coherent. He's coming in studio on the Smothers Brothers stories. That's all. That's all he had. It's got a couple of Dick Cavett stories. Yeah, that's what we had when we had Gerard Butler sitting across this.

[00:55:40]

Oh, don't forget the big get for like the nine o'clock hour with Dennis Hof and some buddies from the bunch.

[00:55:46]

Oh, yeah. Dennis off is coming in here. Don't worry. He's got a lot of cologne, so his memory got a lot of buzz and he's bringing some funny Jeff Katz. Yeah, he's bringing his brother. He's bringing twins who are molested now. They have sex with each other.

[00:56:00]

It's also it's awesome. She calls it a party. It's hot quality, dry dock. Yeah.

[00:56:08]

He's a nice guy. Is a big fan of comedy. Yeah. Yeah. And she may be able to call Ron Jeremy. I think he's going to get Ron Jeremy on the phone.

[00:56:15]

I'm talking about arm. Right, love. All right.

[00:56:20]

What's our next one? Dossett Sorry. Well, our next actor was born and raised in the Mormon capital, even attended Brigham Young University, which is where he met his wife. The actor's name is John Heder.

[00:56:33]

Most of you probably know him as the lead role in the 2004 cult classic Napoleon Dynamite.

[00:56:41]

Oh, is that one overrated? Right. You don't like it? I like this.

[00:56:49]

It's OK. But it's significantly overrated. Significantly overrated.

[00:56:54]

That's a really, really good performances.

[00:56:57]

No, hold on. Hold on. Hometown crowd. I'm sorry. I've made a few movies, like I could throw this Nerf ball to Kentucky. Oh, it's so good. So good. So good. Yeah. It's actually one of the finer points. Yeah.

[00:57:12]

It's like it's kitschy and weird and whatever, but it's not if you read the script you'd have no fucking idea what this movie was about.

[00:57:20]

Right. Yeah. All right. Sorry.

[00:57:24]

I would say most your audience has seen this movie. Oh yeah. There too. This was an outlier because it was unexpected. It was charming. It was a character study picture. I enjoyed this picture, so I'll bet you it does well on our team.

[00:57:43]

Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. No, it it's good.

[00:57:46]

I'm going to lock. I'm going to lock. And now it's a darling. It's a darling. It's going to make Brian and I angry when we find out just hi.

[00:57:55]

How high the scores you've had this experience maybe everyone has where I don't have a lot of problem with the movie Napoleon Dynamite.

[00:58:03]

I have a huge problem with the fucking idiots who love this movie because I agree to this movie.

[00:58:08]

I agree. You're getting a vote for Pedro t shirt for Hanukkah. I'm with you.

[00:58:14]

I've only seen this one time in the theater, so I've not seen it. So I can't remember, you know, I enjoyed it when I saw it. Sometimes when you see it later, you're like, oh, that's not very good. So I still have a pleasant memory of this. I'm ready to vote.

[00:58:29]

All right. I'm ready to. Brigham Young. Brigham Young, Greg. Sounds like bring them right.

[00:58:36]

Like Brigham Young telling a joke. Hey, I'm into polygamy. Yeah, but bring them young, what's the name of your college, Brigham Young, wherever tailgated Brigham Young. What do I say, Graham? Oh, no. Brigham where? Brigham Young. Brigham Young. And bring all the break. I just put this I just put this together. You know, their mascot is what? The Cougars. The Cougars. They are. No, no, no, no, no.

[00:59:05]

No cougars. No cougars. It's Brigham Young. We don't want the Cougars, Heather Mills, Brigham Young, the Cougars want to bring them to Brigham Young. Well, I'll tell you what. The Cougars can drive. The Cougars can drive, but they just drop them off and then they hightail it back to the hills, Ramaiah, Brigham Young University, bringing them young. Some of them may have their permits. They can drive. The cougars of the males will drop them off.

[00:59:37]

And will this Brigham Young.

[00:59:41]

Yeah. Steve Young quarterback. That's right. All right. All right. I've got to say, this is going to make us angry that and I predict that the critics score will be higher than the people score in this.

[00:59:58]

And I say the critics are high. And I put the critics at eighty nine right there with your ninety one.

[01:00:06]

I said one hundred hits for strategic purposes. Mm hmm.

[01:00:11]

I put it in seventy three. Hmm. Napoleon Dynamite is fresh at seventeen.

[01:00:20]

Oh whoa. Oh shit. Look at that. I'm sorry. Seventy one seven seven one oh oh oh nice. Wow. We're on the running people.

[01:00:32]

I must be in show business. Hello.

[01:00:35]

Do that thing that you reveal is very professional as well. Mother fuckers.

[01:00:41]

Well I have no idea. Somebody's still eating. It's not me. All right. Is this the last one? Dawsons.

[01:00:51]

There are two more. Two more. Here we go for a walk. OK. Oh, you rest in peace.

[01:00:57]

Who was raised in a Mormon household? Wait, who? Paul Walker. Oh, Paul Walker. Yeah. And people say he credits the religion for gave Paul his sense of generosity. What else can we say? The man lived a fast and furious lifestyle. Some would say too fast.

[01:01:17]

Too furious. Yeah. From twenty three to fast two furious.

[01:01:23]

Oh yeah. Yeah. I always liked the I like the conceit. I like any movie where it's like you got to talk to the drug kingpin from Miami and the drug kingpin is like, I got a problem. The airport is forty five minutes away. Most of these guys take an hour to get the drugs from the airport to the safe house. I need someone who can do it in forty four minutes.

[01:01:55]

I don't know the drug trade, but I can't imagine that's how it works, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like if you got into a car and it was dayglo green and orange and you were just fucking pullin, it breaks and getting sideways and drifting to the center of town, you might draw some attention. You might draw the focus of law enforcement, you know what I mean? Like the whole thing. Like when they're talking about like smuggling drugs and smuggling anything and they're going to cross the Tijuana border.

[01:02:26]

They're not launching. They're slammed Acura with the bar of lights on the top and the nice button. They're fucking driving a stake bed pickup truck with an old timer sitting and doing. The drugs are welded into the gas tank. Right. They're not I don't know. I say the movie's fake.

[01:02:46]

It just doesn't ring true. All right. Well, I've seen every one of these movies and this one. So the thing about the Fast and the Furious franchise is, well, a lot of F's in there that the thing about it is, is it started off great. Then it kind of lost momentum with this one and the next one. And they were in danger of just crapping out at a certain point. But they they've come back and now they've split off into Hobs versus Shaw.

[01:03:17]

I'm going to say, all right, lock it in. The critics, I guess. I don't know what the critics are. We not discussing these first?

[01:03:27]

Yes. Let's discuss. Let's discuss, Dave. OK, I had an I was in an acting class with Eva Mendez when I came out here. Lovely young lady.

[01:03:36]

Oh, my God. How gorgeous was she? Oh, my lord.

[01:03:40]

Yeah. Méndez, yeah, yeah, she's a wonderful person, so you said you've seen all of these at all of them, so that that means they're worth viewing. Yeah.

[01:03:50]

Oh, yes, please.

[01:03:53]

Now, you enjoy cars, I think. Yes, yes. Yes. OK, so I'm not going to think the critics really love this one, though.

[01:04:02]

OK, now. I am locked in, I feel like I'm doing that. That show you the Hollywood Squares or no, it's the one with match can match that match.

[01:04:14]

You've got a lock on it, right, Jean? Gene Rayburn? Yes. Yeah, that's one. That's one. That means only the bald guy is playing for remembers in your audience.

[01:04:23]

Yes, I know. I remember Gene Rayburn very well. OK, so everyone locked in. Yes. All right.

[01:04:30]

We got to pick up some we got to pick up some points here. This was not a good Fast and Furious movie. I say twenty three.

[01:04:38]

Yeah, I played a similar height, aren't they? The critics got on board with these until like number five. I said forty four.

[01:04:45]

I know none of you are going to believe this, but I haven't seen a single one of the furious. No Fastow, the only movie I've seen where driving was a central part of the movie would be Driving Miss Daisy or maybe Thelma and Louise.

[01:05:00]

There was almost no brakes are not in that at all.

[01:05:04]

There was almost no nás in Driving Miss Daisy I so I'm just going to guess at sixty two very high I'm going to think this one wasn't necessarily awful so I gave it.

[01:05:16]

I don't, I've not seen it.

[01:05:18]

I give it a I'm thinking fifty one fifty one you fast. Two Furious is rotten. At 36, oh, my God, I got to tell you, there's a little angel who was almost on my shoulder and she was yelling thirty six the whole time. And I heard her and I thought I should go with the crowd, but I ignored the advice of this beautiful woman to my right. And I went 20 to what she was saying. Thirty six all time.

[01:05:47]

That could have got me back in the game.

[01:05:49]

But who won that one. I was at 44. OK, let the audience score is pretty weak for a movie like this. You think the audience would love it.

[01:05:58]

They did last night and they stepped it up later in the franchise. I'll tell you that. OK, we don't know.

[01:06:07]

We got one more, OK? All right. Our last notable Mormon actor is Ryan Gosling. I mean, speaking to Dave Mendez.

[01:06:15]

Exactly. Nice. Can Ryan Gosling do anything wrong? I mean, prior to my A-list megastar, Gosling apparently participated in talent shows in his LDS chapel. He regularly spoke and sang at church. Let's talk about the film that put him on every ladies. And let's face it, a lot of gentlemens.

[01:06:35]

Hall Pass Bucket List from 2004 costarring Rachel McAdams The Notebook speaking.

[01:06:46]

It's always raining behind. Every great love is a great story.

[01:06:51]

You've not wait. Who said they haven't seen this? I'm glad I don't like you. I don't like movies or chicks, man. I've not seen. I've seen it. I see Fast and Furious two eleven times.

[01:07:03]

Hold on sir. You have not seen this film. I none of you have seen this.

[01:07:07]

Well let me think about it since I saw, I saw the sure it was based on the folder but I never they're not all tense people.

[01:07:22]

I liked it. Thank you. Thank you. It's it's it's an old reference. I know. Well this is sad. None of you dudes have seen. I've never seen it. Eagle.

[01:07:32]

What I, what I like is I think I've worked with somebody and each one of these movies. Oh yeah. This one's got James Marsden. I've worked with him. Eva Mendez that. What was the other one. Oh I've worked John Raese from Pedro and I worked with Amy Adams from the first one. So I've worked with someone in each one of these movies. Oh all right.

[01:07:54]

Everyone loved but everyone universally loved this movie.

[01:07:58]

So light away from the critics. Yes. Critics probably didn't like it, even though it had a great performance by James Garner. Joan Allen was amazing.

[01:08:07]

Obviously mean girls, Rachel McAdams. That's why everybody that's you know what put her on the map. All right. I was a lot of good actors.

[01:08:14]

It's going to be higher than you think. Going to be higher than you think. All right. We locked in people. Hold on.

[01:08:20]

Oh. Oh, boy. Oh, I can't.

[01:08:24]

Oh, it's agonizing, isn't it?

[01:08:26]

Just so hard because I know I didn't like it. I'm locked in. Oh, they didn't. I might lose them. All right.

[01:08:33]

If I don't get it dead, that's on. I think I'm out of the competition. Eighty eight percent.

[01:08:39]

Eighty eight. Eighty eight. OK, maybe a little lower. Seventy seven. OK.

[01:08:44]

Oh wow. I went with seventy eight so we're close. Well we're all near the same I with eighty so we got a oh it's a real real contest here with this one.

[01:08:54]

Well at least the game is close because the notebook is rotten. Oh.

[01:09:02]

At 53 percent. That's bullshit right there. But look at the audience scores. Eighty five percent. That's embarrassing.

[01:09:11]

I know the audience is going to be high on that one. I love Iowa for an apology.

[01:09:16]

I was I, I'm well into triple digits in this game. This is a disaster.

[01:09:23]

Well you are well into triple digits.

[01:09:25]

That said, the good news is that everybody is in triple digits.

[01:09:32]

Wow. This is a shameful game. Fuck you, Mormons.

[01:09:36]

There are only three spaces on the podium. Teresa Strasser, no room for. You bet. One hundred twenty nine points.

[01:09:49]

Adam Caroll, a valiant effort, you're bobbing and weaving with Brian a little bit there.

[01:09:59]

It's ironic, though, that each of you and your triple digit numbers have the same three numbers. Adam Corolla, a score of 120 days. Tell me one or two.

[01:10:14]

Well, that's my driver's license plate. Well, Brian knows how to do the math coming in at one oh two, leaving us David, near the bottom of the baldies.

[01:10:24]

Well, those man, you know, most cases more often than not, when the guest is in the studio, they do horrible at this game. And judging by your score, I would agree with that sentiment.

[01:10:38]

This was a horrible game. David Kleckner. Your score. Just like the highway, no, oh, no one oh win by one point.

[01:11:01]

There there's almost no rookies who enter this league and dominate as you just destroying the competition, taking wily veterans, cagey, wily, seasoned veterans like Paul Ryan, balling them up like so much foil and throwing them into the ashcan of life, demoralizing my only worries that Brian will never play again after that trouncing. Where do I go from here? Where do you go over there? We should have enacted the slaughter rule on movie number three.

[01:11:33]

Come on, Kettner. Where's where's my bald guy? Oh, he's he's over there. Yeah, what's his name? Gary. Gary, Gary. What's up, bro?

[01:11:47]

Man you for life. For the love life. Any chance at swinging?

[01:11:56]

Wow. I don't know. I'm guessing the long winters up there. Come on. You can spare one of those moments. Thank you. All right.

[01:12:07]

All right. Shall we do we got the news with Teresa Strasser, right? O Kleckner. Yeah. Kepner's got to punch out of here because he's got a he's got a heart out.

[01:12:19]

I should definitely try to think, oh, what I do. Oh, there we go. Kick their faith based is the name of the movie available on VOD and all digital platforms, October 9th and again currently at ninety five percent, almost doubling the tally of the notebook for one.

[01:12:38]

Right, Instagram and Twitter. Add David Cakir, Dave Cakir, thanks so much for joining us tonight. One more thing, Mr. Khairullah. Thank you. Thanks, brother. Always good to see you.

[01:12:51]

One more thing, Adam. One more thing currently on video on demand. Dave Cross. You know Dave Cross. Sure. And a movie with him currently out The Dark Divide. It's a fun movie. So I recommend that to your audience as well. And of course, we'll be recurring this fall on The Goldbergs. Dave Connecter, everybody.

[01:13:11]

Thanks, David. I'm not done listing more credits anyway. I just shout out to Gary. Was Gary right by putting Gary over there? You're a lovely human being, sir. I appreciate you and your wife and always a pleasure to play with you. I'll see you next time I'm in Salt Lake. Thanks there. All right.

[01:13:30]

Let me do a spot and then we'll roll right into the news with Teresa Strasser, Madison Reed, Mr.. Oh, well, so Madison Reed, we know Miss and Reed that make hair coloring for women. And then they decided to start making it for men and they put the word mister at the end of it, Madison Reed, Mr.. For the fellas. So you get a little gray, you get a little the little little too much salt.

[01:13:55]

Not enough pepper, fellas. Get a little Madison remise you can go online. Yeah. You could use this. They're doing that by the way. They'll do it for the beard. The do it for the hair. You go on line, you match up the color. It's not that shoe polish. Look, you don't have that John Travolta late 90s. Look, you have a nice natural look. You put a little Dalip in your fingers, you kind of run it through your hair.

[01:14:18]

I've done it. It's cleaned me up a little bit. You then put the activator in there, you rinse it off and ten minutes later, Bob's your uncle. Little less pepper, little more salt. And you can get it at Madison. Read Mr. Dotcom and my right, Dawson, go to Madison, read Mr. Dotcom.

[01:14:38]

That's Madisonian already Amazon.com and use code. Adam ten for ten percent off plus free shipping on your first box. Again, that's code Adam. Ten.

[01:14:46]

Adam, before we get going with news, I have the tally of what episode this particular podcast is. We are in Episode two thousand nine hundred thirty one. Oh, holy shit.

[01:14:59]

We're going to get knocked out by the end of the year.

[01:15:02]

Yeah, and we never did find that clip of me and Teresa Strasser on the you know, actually, I was just I find it. I had you on it and he just left it to me as well as well. It's giving me that now. It's probably 20 minutes long, but can we play three minutes of it?

[01:15:19]

Yeah, just give me a second. I said do that, do the news and we'll take a walk down memory lane after Agio sends it to Chris. Sounds good.

[01:15:31]

As you mentioned earlier, President Donald Trump arrived at Walter Reed Medical Center not to be confused with the junior high in Bethesda, Maryland, earlier this evening after experiencing a low grade fever, chills, nasal congestion and cough. That is according to multiple sources. This is a fluid story, but here is where things stand as of now. Friday night, he and first lady Melania Trump have been in isolation after announcing overnight that they tested positive for covid-19. The president has received an experimental antibody cocktail.

[01:16:05]

This is a treatment manufactured by Regeneron. You're probably going to be hearing a lot about it in the coming days on Regeneron.

[01:16:13]

Sounds like a company that makes cream for your dick, doesn't it?

[01:16:19]

Like fellahs that was used to be. Oh, we got the big hurt. Frank Williams. No way to be. Frank Thomas is here. I used Regeneron. My love life has never been better. Doug Flutie is here, buddy. I feel like I was in high school. The wife loves the two Regeneron. Yeah, sorry. Now available Regeneron for ladies Chris Everett.

[01:16:44]

This right here is, you know yourself. It definitely comes in a plane package to your door.

[01:16:49]

So discreet. It's the straight. Yes. Regeneron manufactures a cocktail of two monoclonal antibodies from hampster ovary cells.

[01:17:02]

Yep. It's meant to reduce the virus's lethality by boosting a patient's immune defense. Early data from the drug's trials are encouraging, but very preliminary. I read about one study with two hundred and seventy five patients. When it works, it can prevent an illness from progressing to the point where a person might need hospitalization or a ventilator. But so far, this is only been used in clinical trials. The company responded to what's called a compassionate use request. Hold on.

[01:17:31]

Can I say this? Trump is making a huge strategic error here and letting this information get out right.

[01:17:39]

Because his thing has to be when he comes back to the White House on Wednesday and he's fine, he's got to be he can't be in the Regeneron.

[01:17:49]

This is a special one off bespoke cocktail that the rest of humanity cannot get their hands on. Right. So his whole rap has to be, oh, I was just doing generic Tylenol and tap water shit.

[01:18:06]

We just I said Bollani out to the right. It just says, oh, an Arby's. Yeah, we did Arby's. Well, we crushed up one of the generic Tylenol, so I don't know what it's called. Just the cheaper Tylenol like. Anyway, we did that, we did crush it up, put in the Arby's as did I was just tap water wasn't even didn't come from a bottle. I'm straying from the sink. So anyway, if you get it, you know, just hit it because now anyone who goes like, well, you got better, he'll go, yeah, but I got better off this crazy elixir, which was like eye of Newt and appearance turnover.

[01:18:44]

Self Appu. Yeah. Yes. Sorry. Go ahead. Yeah. Who's got that.

[01:18:50]

So hamster ovary cells are engineered to produce these antibodies that replicate those found in people who have recovered. And to your point, it is it takes a long time to make. Hold on. It's difficult to come by.

[01:19:03]

I'm already seeing CNN Monday morning. The president says to eat hamsters.

[01:19:09]

I wish I wish I didn't have to report it. I wish it wasn't true. I wish I wish it was. But he basically said you should eat hamsters. And obviously we have Dr. Foushee forces that sound Mediacom. Now, it's not good to eat hamsters. Well, your boss said so.

[01:19:27]

OK, sorry.

[01:19:31]

He's also taking some mundane things.

[01:19:33]

Zinc, vitamin D, essentially a Harper drunk, which is essentially Pepcid AC melatonin and a daily aspirin.

[01:19:41]

He says he's tired, but doing well. He sent a tweet, a video message from the White House before checking into Walter Reed. Melania Trump is also reporting that she has mild symptoms, but is, quote, overall feeling good? Vice President Pence and his wife have tested negative. That's according to a spokesman. Now, you may be wondering about the vice presidential debate, especially folks there live with you in Salt Lake City. All right. Here is yeah, is right.

[01:20:11]

I want to say this. If Justin Trudeau's wife can get this, the rock can get this and Trump can get this, that means all of us can get this right because everyone is somewhere between Justin Trudeau's wife, The Rock and. Right. Yeah, sorry, covers the spectrum of humanity. Yes, slewed Jim Parsons and Bryan Cranston. That's right. That's right. I know Jim Parsons. I didn't know. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[01:20:44]

In fact, he he just talked about it today in the news and he apparently had more than a mild bout and said it took four to six weeks for him to start to feel better. And he didn't even really have the typical symptoms. You hear about loss of smell and taste until week two. So it does seem to really take a different course with different people. But back to the vice presidential debate, they are moving ahead with that. It will be as of now in Utah Wednesday at the University of Utah in Salt Lake City.

[01:21:18]

And the Commission on Presidential Debates says they have boots on the ground. They are ready to proceed.

[01:21:24]

What is the overunder on Kamala Harris? And a crazy laugh.

[01:21:32]

Do you think we could get, like, three and a half crazy? Laughs You know, she does the crazy laugh, that stuff. That's not funny. She just kind of does it sometimes when there's got to be an over under on the crazy laugh that there has to be some action on that and there's got to be a prop bet on Kamala and a crazy, weird, forced laugh, that is.

[01:21:56]

Yes, it is something she does a lot. I would take the under on whatever it is, there's going to be more somber tone. President might still be in the hospital for all we know is next week, right?

[01:22:05]

Wednesday. Yeah. So there is going to be a somber tone. She's not going to bring it up a lot more than once.

[01:22:10]

I don't know. I feel I feel a good laugh coming. I think Trump will be I think Trump will be back by then.

[01:22:17]

I was listening to Nancy Pelosi, who was explaining that she prays every night for Trump and now she's going to double down her efforts, which I thought was interesting that, you know, race every night for Trump, but a lot of good it didn't pinch. Right.

[01:22:36]

He's got the she prays for him to get coffee, baby. They know they should asked her to be more specific.

[01:22:42]

Right. So now, yes, there's a story to make you feel good in all of this chaos.

[01:22:50]

You never really ever can tell who has the eye of the tiger, who likes the thrill of the fight, who can rise up to the challenge of their rivals. Fifty nine year old guy named Donald Prestwood broke into a senior apartment complex in Fontana, California, earlier this week. He seemed drunk. He said he was looking for his girlfriend. Then he busted into his girlfriend's 81 year old mother's room and started attacking her.

[01:23:15]

She was in a wheelchair. She screamed for help. Who answered the call? Sixty seven year old Lorenza Maruko heard her two floors up.

[01:23:24]

And it turns out Lorenza trained in jujitsu from 1981 to 2007, got a blackbelt, calls herself Lady Ninja and says she used to train to the song Eye of the Tiger.

[01:23:35]

She ran down to the apartment, saw Donald attacking the elderly neighbor, and she attacked.

[01:23:41]

He bent his fingers back to get him off of her friend, elbowed him in the sternum, took him down to the ground, held him until cops got there.

[01:23:49]

I should tell you, Lorenza is for eleven hundred pounds, Donald 510, 170. He was arrested for elder abuse. She says her only regret is that her jujitsu skills are a little rusty.

[01:24:01]

Quote, I would have done more damage to him for a loving spider monkey to see talking. Yeah. What I love about this story and why it made me think of you two things.

[01:24:13]

One, your beautiful wife, Linnett, something people may not know is that her mother was a martial arts, if I'm not mistaken, a black belt.

[01:24:24]

Yeah, she was like a third degree black belt.

[01:24:27]

And there's some weird, like 70s videos of her, like maybe 80s videos of like self-defense videos, but all the self-defense videos that they don't really ring true because normally when you're on the street in a crazed junkie pulls a knife on you, he's not your partner and you haven't orchestrated this whole thing and you haven't worked it out. So like all those videos are sort of like the guy's got the knife and he's like, come on. And then the black belts like a bird.

[01:25:03]

But put the knife in your other hand. Oh, yeah. Sorry, Helen. Sorry, sorry. Yeah. OK, here we go. Here we go. Right, OK, let's go ahead and fluff your gear a little bit. I'm going to grab your keys like. Oh yeah. Sorry Tida. Too tight. Yeah. Meanwhile, the junkier fighting is not wearing a shirt. He's in his underpants. Justin, just the notion of a key.

[01:25:24]

Like if you just think about training with a key Agis essentially handles that are attack. Still a human being, and so they do that move all the time. It's like you grab the key here, you grab the key here, then you slide your hip in. And by the way, last time I saw a street fight when one guy was flipping, another guy, the guy who was being flipped, didn't hop now.

[01:25:49]

So they knew that movements like here and here and then the guy hops a little and then they do. But the guy you're fighting on the street is in his fucking underpants and he's sweating profusely. There's no handles you can grab. So it's always that thing where it's like and the big guy and he jumps and he falls on the mat just so anyway, she'll be missed dearly.

[01:26:14]

Hell, and I've told the story before.

[01:26:18]

I just I just have to tell you again about the time my mother in law, Helen, died, the the third degree black belt. She was a little crazy at the end.

[01:26:30]

She would go we'd find out she was that they like Holiday Inn and Rosita and she was in the dining room and she'd ordered food for herself and for Jesus. And they were just sitting alone at the table, unclear if Jesus was there or what kind of tipper he was.

[01:26:47]

But either way, this is a story that's crazy and it's 100 percent true is she was needed medication. I saw her fight the police a few times and things of that nature when they had to come in and sort of take her somewhere where she could get her medication.

[01:27:07]

And there was this I remember it clears clear as a bell my my twins were like that was a bit like two years old, were in the kitchen. It's like six thirty at night. Get ready to eat. It's doing the morning show. Probably Brian and Teresa Strasser pack them in there. And my wife said to me, I haven't talked to my mom in like three days.

[01:27:30]

I call her. She's not picking up the phone. And I'm like, yes, she's probably taking a nap or in the pool or enjoying yourself and in.

[01:27:40]

Yeah, my wife sees us. Yeah. And I'm like, I don't my wife's like, I don't know. I think she may be in trouble, you know. And I said, why? She's fine. It's like this. She lives at home. She lives alone. I keep call and she's not picking up the phone. I'm worried.

[01:27:56]

So I said I don't worry about it.

[01:27:58]

Then she said, I'm going to call the neighbor. I'll call Bert the neighbor. I want to ask him to go over there, check up on her. And then I did what I do, which is I double down. It's like leave the guy alone is probably trying to enjoy his dinner. Why burden the guy just like me? And she's like, no, I'm going to call him. I'm worried about. And so I said, don't call the guy, don't call the neighbor.

[01:28:20]

This enjoying, let him eat dinner. Don't bother the guy. So sure enough, she just called the neighbor and she's like, Hey, Burt. Yeah, I'm worried about my mom. Can you can you go over there like look in on her, like look through the window or see if she's OK or knock on the door. So she's not answering the phone.

[01:28:37]

And I'm like looking at my wife, go to sleep alone, leave the guy alone and I'm eating and shit.

[01:28:43]

And at some point she's like on the phone and she's like, Burt, OK, you're at the door. I guess he's he's got the cell phone, you know, he's like at the door. No, she's not answering the door. Leave the guy alone. Let him be led. Relax. He wants to be with his family. And there's a certain point about five minutes later, like Burt, like goes into the house, he walks in the house and I look at Linnett, I go to leave Bert alone, goes, oh, she's dead.

[01:29:10]

And I'm like, All right, well, I'll be upstairs.

[01:29:15]

I'll be upstairs feeding off like she's dead.

[01:29:20]

Yeah, I just walked into the house. She was just laying down take a nap. That's like literally just laid down to take a nap and just, just died and he went over and found her but I it was fifteen minutes to be gone.

[01:29:36]

It's she's fine. She's fine. Leave her alone. She'll be fine.

[01:29:40]

I hope you're enjoying the show. Quick break to tell you about LifeLock. Certain behaviors make you more vulnerable to identity theft, like the same password on every account and oversharing. Personal information on social media. It's important to understand how cybercrime and identity theft are affecting our lives. Every day we put our information at risk on the Internet. It's time to protect yourself with LifeLock. You can miss certain threats by just monitoring your credit alone. Good thing there's a LifeLock.

[01:30:08]

LifeLock detects a wide range of identity threats, like your Social Security number for sale on the Dark Web. If they detect your information is being spread around, they'll send you an alert. It's LifeLock, right, Dawson?

[01:30:22]

No refunds, all identity theft or monitor all transactions at all businesses. But you can find out if your information is on the dark web. Get your free dark web scan LifeLock. Scan, pick the plan that's right for you and save up to 25 percent off your first year with promo code Adam. It's a free scan at lifelong dotcom slash scan and 25 percent off with promo code.

[01:30:40]

Adam, how did you find that clip? Max, iPad. All right. Well, why don't we wrap the news and we'll play that. We'll play that clip from what was that?

[01:30:49]

Was that 07, 08, 2008, February 2008. All right.

[01:30:54]

So this is the clip after going to Kimballs Super Bowl party and getting drunk.

[01:31:02]

In fact, all of the top ones, the second is FedEx beats giant carrier pigeons.

[01:31:08]

That was great. They ripped up out of pterodactyl idea.

[01:31:10]

Yeah, no, I didn't see that one at all. Redstone throwing up at that point, I think. Giant rack, four guys, bag of Doritos. I was having a fist fight on a lot with one of Jimmy's neighbors, another married woman, beer and wine and cheese party. I had gotten on the phone and ordered some horse to come over at that point, expert about it.

[01:31:33]

Do you remember the one where the scent of nuts makes the unattractive woman alluring for planters? I called an ex-girlfriend. I was crying in the guest bedroom.

[01:31:41]

Now, what was happening by the time or when the guy's shirt stain was talking? He was at the job interview, but a stain was talking louder than he was kind of beating the crap out of my wife and attempting to fill up my daughter at that point.

[01:31:55]

And by the time I looked out at that time, the lizards were dancing with Naomi Campbell for SoBe. I was yelling, shouting racial, racial epithets at that point at nobody.

[01:32:09]

Now in the log, when the baby was using E-Trade savings to hire a clown, anything, I'd got into a fight with Jimmy's mailbox. At that point. It was not, to be fair, wasn't just a regular mailbox. It was shaped like a giant frog. And they looked at me cross-eyed and I threw it out.

[01:32:28]

How about when Shaquille O'Neal tried being a jockey for vitamin water? I was backing my car over Jimmy's assistant at that point when attempting to drive through his living room.

[01:32:37]

How about the big Pepsi commercial with Justin Timberlake when he sucked into a hazard's by a woman sipping Pepsi? I was calling a female officer, Sugar Tietz, at that point and actually screaming about how the Jews control Hollywood. Oh, do you remember by the time it was the Gatorade ad for a gator egg is a dog's best friend.

[01:32:58]

Anything I remember I called my dad up and started screaming, Die, old man, I hate you. And then I broke down into a heap and then I started hugging the phone. Oh, great. OK, how about Carlos Mencia when he was trying to teach guys how to pick up girls?

[01:33:13]

I was raping somebody who was at the party and it was unclear who it was. And, you know, if you're listening, my sincerest apologies.

[01:33:22]

Do you remember when Will Ferrell did a commercial for Bud Light emitting into a potted plant? OK, that was after the rape.

[01:33:29]

I was either before or before or after. During that much I know I heard both involve a potted plant. That's right. Maybe I was raping a viscous plant and Jimmy's guest bedroom and then vomiting into it. That that's what I was doing at that point. A lot of talk about these Sunsilk commercial with icons Madonna, Shakira and Marilyn Monroe. I was back to screaming about the Jews control. We finally went back. I went back to that. Yeah.

[01:33:51]

How about the remake of the horse? That scene from Godfather for Audi?

[01:33:55]

I had decided at that point to try to stow away in the boot of Jimmy's Range Rover and take over his life.

[01:34:03]

OK, how about for the Gatorade, too, when Derek Jeter sees a bald ballfield everywhere he goes at that point was making fun of Jimmy's assistant, who dropped some nachos by holding it up and yelling, My name is Brad. And then I dropped the nachos and then I stomped on them and cried, OK, we lose the memory. By the way, it's amazing you lit up, but I remember almost everything I did to the CareerBuilder ad when the woman pulls out her heart.

[01:34:30]

Mm hmm.

[01:34:31]

Yeah. Oh, no. I caught a glimpse of that. But I had my back to the TV set and I was yelling drink from the horn powder horn that Jimmy had plucked up one side and filled it with of Shavitz.

[01:34:44]

Well, you know, one of the least popular ads during the whole Super Bowl was early on. It was during the first half. So maybe you remember it. It was a Doritos commercial featuring a music video for online song contest winner. I was being tackled down in restrained by most male guests at the party. And I was screaming, Let me up, I'll kill you.

[01:35:09]

OK, this is one of the least popular commercials, so I don't know if you tune into it, but it was for GMC Yukon. It was touting their new fuel efficient hybrid model. Jeff Conaway and I were doing rales in the bathroom and talking about a sitcom idea that would be a good vehicle for both of us.

[01:35:25]

You might remember the Ice Breakers ad because it featured Carmen Electra. She's pretty. She was wowed by a fan with ice breakers, ice cubes. I was up on Jimmy's roof with my shirt off. Helium King of the world.

[01:35:36]

How long is this go on, by the way? That's pretty drunk. I got scared for this thing. I can't do it. Del had a commercial for their red products that go towards AIDS. Charities had gotten nude and greased myself up with. Cresco is trying to get a running start and stuff myself into Jimmy's convection of it.

[01:35:54]

I don't I don't know. This might have stuck in your mind because Angelina Jolie was in it. It was a promo for a new movie from Universal. She looked and. Billy was the movie wanted no, I at that point had slapped a pregnant woman's cell phone out of her hands and yelled, there's no no personal calls on Super Bowl Sunday.

[01:36:13]

So you didn't really see any. And I didn't see any commercials. I was drunk. Wow. Well, we don't have a lot to talk about. Then I'll play one for you since you missed all of them. This is Will Ferrell. It's a commercial for Bud Light. And he plays the character that he plays in the movie Semipro about a basketball player, right? Yeah. Here it is. Hi, I'm Jackie Moon. I drink one beer and one beer only Bud Light, a magical blend of barley hops and delicious alcohol.

[01:36:46]

That's not the wine actually makes it perfect. Valentine's gift for the ladies. A lot of sweat goes in every bottle. Not literally would be gross, but you know what I mean. Toss refreshes the palate and the low end realized someone keeps coming. I vaguely heard it, but I have my back to the TV because I was urinating into some seven layer dip elderly woman had brought to the party and screaming about how fake Conair was.

[01:37:19]

Wow, what a pretty loaded. I can't see why you're hung over today. Yeah. I mean you miss I don't know how you managed to catch the game. No. You seem to have a lot of clarity about the actual game. But you didn't see any of these commercials? No, no.

[01:37:32]

I was drunk. That's right. That was the best.

[01:37:39]

All praise to the great Teresa Strasser had the impressive chops to just keep soldiering on while I was making up all the insane. I was really shitfaced at Jimmy's apartment. So but only half that stuff is true. All right. Conaway's sitcom vehicle never came to fruition.

[01:37:59]

Oh, it didn't. Jesus Christ. Yeah. I got to yell at my agent. Yeah. I don't even know how Jeff got. I don't think he was there. I don't know. I must have been watching him.

[01:38:08]

I think he was in the ether because he must have been on Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab during that time.

[01:38:13]

He he was on our minds. He must answer this for you to ask me. Oh, good. Kanawa was on our show, I think, prior to this, and left us with a beautiful draw. Thought he used quite a bit back in the day.

[01:38:28]

That's his voice. That was him. Well, he'll be missed. All right.

[01:38:33]

I want to thank Dave Kleckner for coming in or zooming in tonight. Paul, Brian, of course, the beautiful Teresa Strasser as well. Quick, 15 seconds worth to simply say no one should feel unsafe at home, period, and that's why there is simply save protect your home, do it today to Isaan. They're simply safe. Dotcom is where you go.

[01:39:00]

Qadam So I want to thank these guys for joining us. Thank you guys for coming out tonight. Until next time is Adam Carolla for Bald and Dreesen gave back. They're saying mahalo. Thanks, guys. Sports coming up next for you, Adam Carolla show on Twitter and Adam Carolla show. Follow us on Twitter at Adam Carolla. You need to voice mail at eight eight eight six three four one seven four four. Thanks to BET online. And be sure and catch Teresa Strasser and Gina Grad and their podcast Easy Listening.

[01:39:38]

Pick up Adam's new book. I'm Your Emotional Support and I'm always available everywhere. Get it now with Adam Korolenko. So I'm sure you enjoyed that. You're welcome. Always funny now we got all balls, all sports coming. Gary sitting in for me with Jeff Caesarea. That's coming in a second. First, I'll tell you about BET. Online football is well, it's in full swing. What else do you need to know? Plus, NBA finals.

[01:40:04]

Oh, yeah, NBA, MLB playoffs as well. You want to get in on the action, you still can bet online Sunday Games. Coming up, Raiders, the Chiefs, Eagles and Steelers. Giants and Cowboys. Broncos at Patriots, Vikings at Seahawks. Dolphins at 49ers. More options to wager than anywhere online from spreads and totals to get in on season opening bonuses and wager on division and championship futures. Head to BET online today. Take advantage of all the great sign up bonuses.

[01:40:36]

All you do is hop on your phone or your computer visit. Bet Online Dadaji, our exclusive partner podcast one don't forget promo code podcast one for your sign up bonus today. BET online your online sports book experts. Time to break down the game film and look at the X's and O's, the chaos and the Ohno's from the world of sports and online presents, ball balls, all sports.

[01:41:09]

Well, time for the BET. Online headlines. NFL, let's just dive right in. Gary, who's not for real? I'm going to tell you he's not for real. The Chicago Bears, they lost to Indianapolis, 1911. They cannot handle a big moment at home. I'm going to have to talk my brother off a ledge tomorrow, call his doctor, make sure he has his heart meds, everything set up for the bears. Like a surprise party, like where you like it.

[01:41:39]

Maybe it's your fortieth birthday or something. And, you know, everybody's going to be there is going to be great food and but you know about it. So you kind of trying to sneak up to the house and, oh, I'm pretending that. And then, bam, you slip on some ice and they got a rush to the hospital and the food gets wasted and everybody's bummed that's what happened to the bears. How do you love that? You're absolutely right.

[01:42:04]

I don't know. And I worry about Chicago fans who last week were just putting all of this on Mr. Besuki and saying Nick Foles is our savior. You know, he did it in Philly. He can do it here in Chicago. Like, how do you justify this now? They couldn't even beat Old Man Rivers. Yeah, I know.

[01:42:20]

And, you know, they give up nineteen points, which is, quite frankly, respectable. You know, that's a nice defensive day against, you know, Philip Rivers and Jonathan Taylor's been running his butt off and they got some weapons. Yeah, Indianapolis does. So you hold them to nineteen points and then you just spit the bit on offense.

[01:42:42]

What happened and forced threw up some balls. There were some thirty plus yard gains through the air. I mean there was, there was some stuff there, there was some, some things to be happy about but they, they weren't converting when it mattered most and they weren't putting the points on the board. And that's you know, I agree with you. I don't think they're for real.

[01:43:00]

You know, this will take the vinegar right out of right out of the Chicago and this will take the vinegar right out of the salad dressing in Chicago. That's what it'll do. It'll nobody's getting deep dish pizza tonight. They are just bombed. I'll tell you who is for real. Maybe Josh Allen and the Buffalo Bills, they beat Las Vegas today, was it wind up? I think the final was thirty, twenty three. Somewhere in there, he looked pretty good against Vegas.

[01:43:29]

He had his thirteenth game with both TD Pass and a rush to seventy one percent of his passes is completed through the first four games. That's a little crazy and therefore no. For the first time in twelve years, they are the reverse of Chicago. They are literally a forty year old whose birthday it is who's thinking he's just going to come home and have a beer and he's actually surprised. Makes it up the steps walks into another Rust Belt blue collar town, this time the northeast end of the Rust Belt instead of the southwest end of it.

[01:44:04]

This city is going to go nuts. If they keep this up, they're going to go crazy.

[01:44:08]

Oh, they absolutely are. And, you know, it would drive me even more nuts if I was a resident there. I was watching one of the broadcasts today towards the end of the the later games. And the announcer said that the New York teams are collectively on eight referencing the Jets and the Giants, but they're forgetting about that foreign team up north where super cold and there's nothing to do but eat wings. You know, those guys are doing Forno.

[01:44:31]

They look amazing. They have all the pedigree in the world. But now New York teams are on eight, which I'm all for, beating on the Jets and the Giants who either team look at all good. But can we have a little respect to the bills who are just. Well, I designate. Yeah. New York City teams, you know, but yeah. You can't lump Buffalo in there. They're on a tear, man and boy.

[01:44:55]

You know, I saw him run it in. I saw him pass. I saw him throw down huge downfield. He threw it in the air. Oh yeah. At one point. And it did not look like an effort. You know how a lot like, you know, we've we've all remember Farve just like finally running out of the pocket and getting enough space to literally wind up from the turf. And he even Allen, just kind of one flick.

[01:45:22]

Yeah.

[01:45:22]

He looks like he's he looks like me when I'm throwing a ball for my dog. Like, see, there's no effort there's no apparent effort on the TV.

[01:45:29]

I mean, obviously, he's a tremendously gifted athlete, but it doesn't appear that he's putting a lot behind that ball. And it goes for miles.

[01:45:38]

I would I would only alter the anecdote to throwing a ball to your dog inside. That's true. That that effortlessness that you have when you're throwing it from your couch to the kitchen in an attempt to irritate your wife, then yes, then I'll go. Who looked like they weren't for real and might be for real. The Browns. I don't know where this came from right now. They get a big lead and they kind of blow it, but then they pull out forty nine.

[01:46:06]

Thirty eight. Beckham just went off three. He's a killer like and around or whatever the hell that was. The crowd was amazing.

[01:46:15]

I heard that there was a trick play where one of the one of the offensive guys, not the quarterback, end up throwing to LBJ.

[01:46:22]

I was yeah.

[01:46:24]

An entry through LBJ on a dime. Yeah.

[01:46:29]

I mean, you know, here's where the college game is completely catching up to it in some ways dominating the pro game. And we're seeing more of it because younger and younger coaches are coming in. You're seeing that college game playbook come into play in the pros. I mean, there's no way five years ago there lateral in a ball that Jarvis Landry or something like that and saying, OK, we're going to pretend that somebody didn't see that and then you're going to toss downfield.

[01:47:01]

For now, it's all over the NFL. It's pretty cool.

[01:47:05]

I really I like it a lot. I it's it adds a spice to the game that, you know, wasn't necessarily there in the past five years and past five years. It was a lot more conservative. But it seems like whether it's the lack of the the in in person audience to influence the game or to to screw with plays like that, these coaches are just getting a lot more bowl than I.

[01:47:28]

I'm here for it. I really enjoy it.

[01:47:30]

I think they got the athletes to do it. That's why I think what you're seeing more and more out of colleges is guys who can play two or three positions without batting an eye or guys who come out of a school where the NFL is not necessarily going to give them a shot at QB, but they're an athlete and either they go, that's it, I'm going in at QB or I'm not going. Ah, they go, all right, try me at back.

[01:47:54]

Let's see what happens. Then all of a sudden you got got to get back with you for thirty four touchdowns in college or something. And, and the general athletic ability, even including offensive and defensive linemen, has been raised so high just in the last I would say five to eight years. It's pretty incredible.

[01:48:12]

I couldn't agree more. And I think that in very recent memory, we've got to credit Sean Payton a little bit with the. You know what he was able to do with that Taysom Hill character? Yeah, that guy can go in and play five different positions in one series. I mean, it's crazy and it's it's it adds such a dynamic to the game that is really keeping all the different respective coordinators on their feet, on their toes.

[01:48:32]

And let's be honest, you know how big that was for you to give Sean Payton credit for anything who's always looked good.

[01:48:40]

NFL Tom Brady here. That your Los Angeles Chargers. I'm wearing the shirt.

[01:48:47]

You know, look, I he let's just keep the shirt on.

[01:48:54]

Chargers build a huge lead in this. Yeah. Kind of chips away, chips away and then all of a sudden puts the pedal down scores like seventeen and they win thirty eight. Thirty one. And the Chargers just did not have an answer. They just did not have an answer. Brady three, four, five td so crazy. He just went, he just did what Tom Brady does. And I might add for the first time all year Gronkowski had a reception where he looked like the Gronk of old.

[01:49:23]

He just outmuscled a linebacker who clearly had the pick, brought it down, kind of shook him off like it was a gnat. It was it was it was an impressive comeback. I hate to say it because I know your Chargers game.

[01:49:36]

No, no, I listen, I will admit it as well. Gronk definitely looked like the Gronk of all. This is what I've been waiting to see. You know, as much as I'm a Chargers fan, Gronk went to my college. So he's always been near and dear to my heart. I've always been a huge fan of his, and I've been waiting for him to shake off the cobwebs because he has not looked good yet until this game.

[01:49:57]

But, you know, Brady Brady did what Brady does. He just he kept that that steady seventy five mile an hour cruise control on the Chargers all game. And eventually that, you know, I heard a stat today that the difference in age between the two quarterbacks was I can't remember how many months, but it was over twenty years. And it's the biggest difference in age between two quarterbacks in the history of the NFL. You know, as a fan of the Chargers, I'm happy with that performance.

[01:50:23]

Justin Herbert looks like the future. He looks like what we hope he would be when we drafted him. Brady can have his win. The Chargers are not going to necessarily always be good. Teams will astonish a few good teams every season and then missed the playoffs by one game. But, you know, I picked the Chargers in my Pick Em league because this was one of those games where the Chargers may upset a team that they probably shouldn't be didn't come out that way, but it was close and I'm very happy with that.

[01:50:49]

Well spoken. Like a true Chargers fan. I spoken looking like an optimistic, like a deer and then all your hang in.

[01:50:58]

There you go. Well, hang on. You know, here is there is the upside. We've got to you got to find a little bit of optimism.

[01:51:06]

If you want to be a Chargers fan, it's alive, you know, in this life.

[01:51:10]

Well, who doesn't care how he comes off? Let me tell you, Jalen Ramsey and a seventy nine win. They beat the Giants. The Rams. Yeah. Ramsey big study back for the Rams. Let a family feud boil over. I didn't really know anything about this family feud, but apparently Giants receiver Golden Tate Ramsey was dating his sister and had had a couple of kids with his sister. And apparently it was going along well. And then they hit a couple of speed bumps, as every couple does.

[01:51:44]

Sure. And they broke up when they broke up. She was apparently pregnant with their third kid. So he exits the relationship. And Golden Tate and he have a bit of a Twitter feud over this. We won't get into that. But but Golden State, not exactly a wallflower himself. A bit of a trash talker. And Jalen Ramsey, Oscar level trash talker. So they get into it on Twitter, goes back and forth. And, you know, I hate to go freude here, but this let's just say it manifested itself on the field in what I would call a flat out melee.

[01:52:26]

I mean, that if you're a fan, let's, you know, hey, football's back. I mean, it was like guys were running in from everywhere. It was I don't even quite know how it started. I can't remember if Ramsey got in his grill or something.

[01:52:46]

So, yeah, it was absolutely bizarre. I mean, you know, going back a little further into the middle of the game, Ramsey absolutely laid a. Highlight level hit on Golden Tate and just body slammed him to the ground in a very legal play just in the course of the game. And from what I understand, as the game ended, they approach each other at midfield and by all accounts simultaneously threw punches at each other the exact same time when they went to the ground and started grappling like UFC stars.

[01:53:16]

And then both teams were in the middle of it. The part about this that I love the most is that 25 minutes after this happened, there's video that comes out of Jalen Ramsey in full uniform, including his helmet pacing up and down Sophi with I and I would love to interview this gentleman, some random employee standing four yards away from making sure we get to another fight. There's no one else in the whole stadium. You know, the stadium, empty as it is, both teams are completely cleared.

[01:53:42]

And here's Jalen Ramsey pacing slowly up and down the field. The hashmark it's I can't wait to see what more comes out about this story because. Yeah.

[01:53:50]

And what's it like for anybody who didn't see it? It wasn't like a front office personnel. It looked like after they broke up the melee and they're wrapped in bandages and sopping up the blood, somebody said, hey, Rams is going to stay on the field. And all the legit people went, yeah, we're going to it. We're going to the clubhouse. So it was that guy. Assistant, groundskeeper. Yeah. Just walk up and down with him while it cools off.

[01:54:18]

Oh, yeah.

[01:54:19]

This guy looked like an intern. I mean, it was it was absolutely bizarre. It was. Yeah. I just I can't wait to see what happens because this was this was the this was the professional football version of what usually happens after three cocktails at Thanksgiving where two guys who are two in-laws get into it over something that was said, you know, on Facebook back in March. You know, here it is on national television out the presence of their better halves to either talk them down or get in the way or take them outside or say, oops, I'm sneezing, we have to leave.

[01:54:56]

Yet none of that happened. So they just had had their way with each other. Here's the way Jalen Ramsey should do it.

[01:55:06]

Patrick Mahomes and his fiancee, Brittany Matthews, are pregnant and have managed to not have a fight. They're staying together. They're actually high school sweethearts. They didn't they don't know yet if it's a boy or girl. And he just asked her to marry him, like earlier this month, right after the Super Bowl ring ceremony. So there's a guy who said, I don't know what's going through Mahomes minds, but he's like, all right, I better do this sometime.

[01:55:34]

I have to make it look like I'm topping something that I did. Anyway, he gives her the ring right after the Super Bowl ring ceremony. And of course, he's got a five million five hundred million plus extension with the chiefs. And I saw the ring. It is literally the size of one of my couch cushions. It's embarrassing how big?

[01:55:52]

Oh, I've been hiding that Instagram post from my wife for weeks for fear that she is going to just absolutely divorce me immediately. But yeah, I mean, can you think of a better twenty, twenty, twenty. He's been the worst year in the world for everyone except Mahomes Super Bowl win. Super Bowl MVP. Five hundred million dollar contract extension playing in the celebrity program in Lake Tahoe back in May. Now, all of a sudden, he gets a Super Bowl ring, weighs about twenty five seconds, proposes to his high school sweetheart and by all accounts, extremely loyal girlfriend, now fiancee.

[01:56:25]

And now they're pregnant and everyone's happy for him. It's I just Patrick Mahomes is doing it right.

[01:56:30]

And is he walking up and down the field thirty minutes after the whistle blows with an assistant groundskeeper to make sure he doesn't kill somebody? No, he's not that. Oh, you know what he is? Allen Ramsey. I think you'll last I think you'll be a happier human being, Jane, if if he can calm down.

[01:56:48]

That's why I couldn't agree more. And you know what? For listeners of all balls, all sports, we covered this recently. Jalen Ramsey just signed, I believe, one hundred million dollar plus extension.

[01:56:57]

So he shouldn't have that much to be super upset about.

[01:57:01]

But you know what Patrick Mahomes is? He is he's not pacing up and down the field, but he's the best on line line. He's an eleven point favorite tomorrow night.

[01:57:10]

Oh, that's right. Yeah. Well, why don't we go to Adam for a for the for a little bit of word from a from get on line here. Let's do that.

[01:57:20]

Thanks, guys. Let me tell you about BET online football is in full swing, not to mention NBA finals, MLB playoffs. You might not be in the game, but you can still get in on the action. But that online games coming up this Sunday. We got Raiders and Chiefs. That should be a good one. Eagles and Steelers, Giants and Cowboys, Broncos, Patriots, Vikings, Seahawks, Dolphins, Forty, Niners, all stuff that you should be checking out more on.

[01:57:54]

Chance to wager than anywhere online from spread's and totals the props get in on season opening bonuses and wager on division championship futures as well. Head to bed online today. Take advantage of all the great sign up bonuses. Visit BÊTE Online Data Exclusive Partner Podcast one. Don't forget promo code podcast one for your sign up bonus today. BET online your online sportsbook experts take it away.

[01:58:19]

Gary, thanks as well. Jeff, I teased it briefly, but before we get out of here, let's cover the BET online line brought to you by BET online.

[01:58:27]

Let's check the bet online from BET online Monday night doubleheader. Now, all of a sudden, because of the things going on Green Bay, six and a half over Atlanta in Green Bay, six and a half point favorites, chiefs by 11 over the Pats who are now without cam for aforementioned catastrophe's off the field. But that's a big line. Eleven. And I really honestly, I would take both of those. Yeah.

[01:58:56]

For my money. I don't think a lot. I don't think the Green Bay, your Green Bay Packers are getting enough respect, especially at home. I know home and away is not necessarily a thing this year with the crowds, but you still got to travel if you're away. So I think six and a half I'm I'm taking the Packers by more than that. And as far as you know, the Patriots, I don't know if I ever count the Patriots out of the Patriots are over ten point dogs.

[01:59:19]

I'm probably betting the Patriots because they're not just going to not show up.

[01:59:22]

I'm aware that I'm aware they're missing some players. But Belichick seems to deliver no matter what the circumstances. So that's just me. But then again, I don't get my own money because I'm terrible at this. So don't take my advice.

[01:59:34]

Well, let's let's check this one out. I'll I'll take I'll take the chiefs in eleven. You take the Pats and the eleven plus and we'll go from there. That's the on line line. I'm Jeff Caesarea for Gary Schmitt and that's it for all Ball's Outsports. All balls, all sports presented by BET Online, your online sports book expert. Madison Reed, Madison Reed, Mr. Madison Reed, well, they do top shelf hair coloring for women and they did that for a while.

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