Editor's Note: This transcript was automatically transcribed, so mistakes are inevitable. You can contribute by proofreading the transcript or highlighting the mistakes. Sign up to be amongst the first contributors.
Thanks for listening to the Adam Carolla Show on podcast one. Well, Chet Waterhouse is going to do his thing coming up, which is always hilarious. You probably have to listen to it twice to really. Absorb it and the news as well, first to tell you about Tommy John, the secret to staying sweat free this summer. Tommy John Summer, ready, ultra breathable underwear and bras, cool cotton underwear for men and for women, like having your own on body AC unit made from premium natural Pima Cotton and enhanced airflow at evaporates a sweat super fast lounge pants, lazy day joggers or soft some ready tees and polos upgrade to Tommy John.
Do it today for the enhanced breathable designs. I'm wearing mine right now. You can I wear them, take a long walk or jog, work up a sweat and walk around the house. They just air dry underneath your jogging shorts as well.
They got the best pair you'll ever wear or it's free guarantee. It's the best. It's Tommy John, right? Dawson for a limited time.
Good. Or Tommy John comes out here. We get 20 percent off your first order. That's Tommy John dot com slash Adam for twenty percent off Tommy John. Dot com slash Adam.
It's time to check Adam's voice mail. Hey, Adam Rich here from Virginia was doing a little surfing the other night on the Internet and came across something about William Holden, the actor died when he banged his head at his home drunk, passed out and bled to death, which is sad news, of course. But what I thought was funny and reminded me of you was his burial, the Neptune Society, only other person I've ever heard of. Peverill, get it on.
You can leave us a message at eight eight eight six three four one seven four for everyone. Everyone in my family is a member of the Neptune Society. And if you're an atheist and you're cheap and the Karalis can check both those boxes twice, that means you give these guys like 40 bucks. And whenever you die, that dude in a station wagon just shows up, takes you out, cremate you and throws in the ocean.
Are you cool with that for you? I, I would. Well, here's what I would probably like. First off, I can tell you right now Jimmy Kimmel, who will probably outlive me, would never abide by that. I mean one time, one time me, Dan, Danny, two sheets and Jimmy were sitting in our office, the man show and it was like I remember, I remember Daniel Coulson.
He went, you know, do we need to get each other Christmas gifts every year? Like we buy each other like golf carts and shit like that, like rich guy, Hollywood stuff.
Like maybe I just, I don't know, like this. It's such a hassle trying to find, you know, finding a great gift for Jimmy is tough because he has everything and you can't just give him a gift certificate or something. And Jimmy just went, fuck that. We're getting everyone gifts. And as principal drives, like Jimmy's like, I'm getting a fucking cool gift every single year if you want to give me one and don't give me one.
But that's what I'm doing for you. And so, like, whenever you say to Jimmy, look, let's just skip the whatever don't whatever he got, now we're doing it, you know, like I was at any event, anything.
So Jimmy would not abide by me or almost anyone else dying and just silently going out, being dumped in the ocean like the Neptune Society does. But the carolers would definitely do it. And the thing that's funny about the Neptune Society is, is for an extra 40 bucks, you can be on the barge while they while they while they scatter the ashes over the open sea and throw the rose petals down. We didn't even buy in for that.
That was like literally you die, they pick you up. That is the end. There's no there's no anything after that. No pomp, no circumstance. What is the Neptune Society run now? Nazi. You got to understand, like when my grandparents signed up in, you know, 1972 was like eighteen dollars seventy three.
It was founded in seventy three to seventy three. The ground floor. Yeah. Yeah. Their charter members. Yeah. Charter members. Yeah.
But our society I really don't even know the legality of it because my grandfather passed it like four in the morning or something and I got a I got one of those middle of the night phone calls from my grandma, you know, like your grandfather's dad, you know, come to the house and I got there like. Five fifteen or something, and there was a plain plainclothes dude with his mom's station wagon just carrying grandpa out, there wasn't there was no coroner or anything was like pronouncing the time or the death or anything.
Just carried him out, put him in the back of the wagon. The wagon was it was it was Quincy. It wasn't marked. It was just a station wagon. And they left.
And that's the last we've seen of a, you know, updated to like, you know, logout vehicles.
And don't they there's gotta be some protocol, right? I mean, there probably was some then, but we weren't aware of it. They just.
Well, now I know there's a mortuary in Long Beach and I don't know if this is common or not, but if you're if nobody's come to claim the body in a certain amount of time, somebody will volunteer, sailor of sorts will volunteer to take it out and have it cremated and tossed in the ocean.
So I don't know, sailor of sorts, sailor or whatever, whatever they do, pretty much just burglars, they're just stealing dead beer is all you're talking about.
So basically, I'm saying some people do it for free. Yeah. So they cremate you and then they scatter you over the open sea and but again, it's extra to keep keep wanting to, to go out.
That was a turn into after they cremate you. Yeah. Yeah.
Then I'd just like to see that. Yeah. Yeah. That was a suit bag.
It was a Crank Yankers Berchem bet where he called one of those places and and they were like yeah we can arrange all this stuff. And then he kept going and then I can fish. Right. And then like no you cannot fit. Well I'll just bring my tackle out there, you know, and I'm like, OK, I get it. I get it. Do you sell bait, though? And you know, you can't do it.
You just kept going because it was based on a funny, funny bit from the Acme Theatre million years ago. Always. I don't know. I haven't done it in a while, but it always cracked me up. I love Cesari. I'm doing this for you. All right. There's a guy who was really funny writer that I met many years ago at the Acme Theatre. His name is John McCann, and he was just a brilliant writer and his bit and I always love it when they work it out.
His bit was the audience in the theater was attending a seminar. So at first, so you're addressing the audience, but you have a reason to address the audience. And it was Skipper Ned Heems adventure burials. So he would start by thanking everyone for showing up to his symposium and then he would pitch his adventure burials. And the thing was, he'd go like, you're going to go out there, you're going to shed some tears, you're going to grieve.
But after that, we're going sportfishing. And he started getting into these details that always made me laugh my ass off. I think his boat was called the Ash Taxi. And I think he had he had his first mate, Gus, his first mate. Gus was a defrocked Jesuit Jesuit who was capable of reciting words of comfort in the three major religions. And if you're an atheist, he'll tell you a joke about God. That was his thing.
And he'd go, you could go while I'm top here. Go well, Gustus down below playing Chariots of Fire on the Hornpipe. I'll be topside looking out for record school approach and Banita. And then he kept doing this juxtaposition between the funeral and the fishing. He'll go, Gustl, dry your tears, adjust your tackle and rig your dragline. And he doesn't have to be told twice to crack a cold one.
He'll dry your tears, adjust your dragline. It doesn't have to be told twice to crack your cold one. It always crack the spirit.
It was so funny that I always just stand in the wings and watch him do do do the bit.
While he was down below playing Chariots of Fire on the Hornpipe, he'll be up. So everything was just a constant contrast between sportfishing and funerals and it just was such a funny ass bit that is full blown.
Fred Willard conceptual.
That's right, yeah. That's out there and in Albert Brooks territory, you know, that's so great. Yeah.
Skipper Nayed him and he would go was that loved one who died really loved one.
Or maybe just a business partner died on your money. In that case, you may want to opt for a chum slick a remembrance bringing up shark and Mako. Got it. Got bizarre. I don't know. The audience knew what to do with it. It seems so bizarre.
So how much is how much is do we know how much it is on. They just say, like, oh, we're a third of the cost of a funeral or and then somewhere on Reddit, they said in Houston it costs a thousand dollars. So they just pick you up.
Yeah. All right. Wait, what were we doing? Oh, Brian. Yeah. Oh, what were we doing here?
Yeah. Let's do you first, then we'll do chat.
So, yeah, we just, you know, dark week last week, we all did various things out of, you know, for the last it's got has got to be like seven years now, Chris, you know, I've gone to Hawaii and that's obviously off the table this year, Hawaii. But, you know, with her mandatory quarantine, everything we just show up in the air, wouldn't it made sense to make plans or go there?
So Christie suggested something that I would never have even thought of. I kind of was aware of these things, but never really considered going to one.
She goes, how about we go to a wellness retreat?
Because, you know, you're you're you're going through, you know, your treatment. You you'll have just finished. You know, I'm everything's on her shoulders.
You know, why don't we just go away for a week to one of these wellness retreats and, you know, they're supposed to, you know, pick you up spiritually and physically and emotionally and mentally and all that stuff. And like, that's a fun idea. So we found a place in Sedona, Arizona, of all places. And we. That's where you'd find it.
Yeah, there are a few in California, but we opted for this one. It felt very remote. It was Krista has a picture and it's amongst the Red Rocks in Arizona. And it's it's very remote, very small.
I think there is like eight rooms. So and of course, there are wellness, you know, retreat or whatever it is. So like they're very dedicated to sanitizing everything and keeping people apart and was like, this sounds perfect is exactly what we need. A little rest and relaxation off the grid. That's you're looking at a picture there of a crystal grotto for like meditation where the sun comes in, you see the sun beams coming in from a skylight in the roof.
But that's that's the actual, like red clay dirt that it's built upon. There's a floor. He walk barefoot on the dirt and you meditate and do whatever it's pretty woo woo.
I wasn't quite sure what to expect. We looked at seven day, you know, stay obviously, and the journey. And it was pretty awesome. I got my chakras aligned, which I'd never done before. Our energy reading, energy clearing, reiki healing. I'd never done any of this stuff before. And it was very it coincided with me finishing my medication and I left my round of medication.
And of course, you're looking there at the spectacular pool that no one was at where some of the only people there most of the time midweek, you can imagine, isn't quite as popular as the weekends. But, yeah, I it was very spiritually like fulfilling. I felt very fulfilled constantly. I finished my medication a few days before we left, so I was feeling great by the middle of the week and I was getting all these treatments, like I said, the chakras and the Reiki and all this stuff.
I don't if you guys maybe you've done that before. I don't know if anyone else.
Let me say this. All the stuff you make fun of and we make fun of our one makes fun of when you do it. It's nice. Like when, you know, the guys are in the girls burning the sage and running the fingers along the whatever and lining up though whatever, like as much smoke and hokum as it may sound like. It's still nice to be on the sort of the person laying on the table in the towel when that shit's going down, you're one hundred.
It's like if it's real to you, you know what I mean? Like, I felt very at ease and very. So they did the smudging with the sage, you know, with the burning. And it felt amazing and know it was it was real to me.
I felt great. Right. Did you did you drive or fly? We drove. It was took six and a half hours out there, eight hours back. There's like sun traffic coming back and.
Yeah, that's awesome. All I ever think of is like, what are you eating, where's the bar like how's that work.
Well, that's funny you mention that because it is all inclusive. So they have a they had a crush, a picture of the juice that a fresh juice bar.
You can just get juice anytime you want more smoothies or cocktails. The cocktails you had to pay for. But everything else, all the food, all the snacks, all the you know, they just bring your stuff at the pool or whatever. And it was it was pretty great. You really felt taken care of. And the best part ended up being, I mean, all the amenities are nice.
The room and the pool and the food and the drinks. I really got a lot out of, like the healing stuff. I felt I felt great and maybe was coincidental with the fact that I was just off my meds and I was starting to rebound anyway, but couldn't have come at a better time.
Well, and you can't you can't not feel good in that environment. I mean, that's why we literally just drove to Ventura for a day, just being stuck in L.A. amid all this stuff. And all of a sudden you're transported to what feels like another planet. But it's also a resort. Of course, you're just going to feel like that cloud is being lifted. That's awesome.
Yeah, I just did peyote just getting off work just as well.
Social media and people don't realize how easy it is to sort of snap back by just. Getting a massage while something smells good is burning and, you know, and there's some mandolin music in the distance and then ask you to focus on your breathing.
Right. Right. Things you want to release and it's spiritual. So back to the food, the food work. Food was much better than I anticipated.
And when I heard food's included, I'm like a boy. And then the restaurant there is called like the cafe and like, I have to go somewhere else.
It was really, really good. I liked it. It was a very limited menu, but it was all good stuff. A fillet of shrimp, scallops, chicken salad, so healthy.
You know, it's a health retreat.
Is is this a, you know, trying to think like there's a kind of a different levels of this stuff? There's like the no booze, no animal protein, no TV version. And then there's the flat panel TV and you could get a cocktail version, I guess, with this one. Like, was there a TV in the room? There was.
We never once turned it on. Good. Yeah. This isn't what this wasn't like. Super granola unplug off the grid like it's you know, it's I guess it's they take care of you for sure.
But the food was very it's exactly what you want a place like this which isn't weird and like tofu and like, you know, with all of the stuff you would normally see on a normal menu, this was like really well done versions of just stuff you see on a normal, you know, American restaurant menu.
Did you have a chance to go to any of the vortexes?
Yeah. So the whole thing is there's vortex and vortices. Yeah, it's all vortex vortices. They're the two the trees grow and it's sort of a spiral shape, which is very weird.
I, I didn't go outside the resort Christou and a couple of hikes but does a resort is supposedly, you know, in lava vortices. And so you could you know, I suppose I could feel the energy.
What direction, what direction does the toilet flushing because I have to solve this vortex problem. Felt normal to me.
OK, now I'm look, I'm the atheist who seems like I'd be dead set against this kind of stuff. I I'm completely into that stuff. I mean, I don't do it, but I understand the I understand the benefit of it. I understand, especially in today's climate, of just carving out a few days, laying down, not turning the TV on, staying off social media to get in and getting your chakras aligned, whatever you had in your mind, whatever that means, and drinking a little fresh, pressed juice for breakfast.
How cost prohibitive is it or is it?
It is. So thankfully, they reduced the price significantly because of covid. They were, you know, limiting some of their treatments or whatever. Some didn't really interest me anyways. I was not here nor there.
But it's expensive is probably the most expensive vacation we've taken because every year Hawaii is on fucking points. We fly for free. We stay for free.
This was this we paid for this one is the temperature like mid 90s. It was lovely. OK, yeah.
Is it much is it more than ten thousand dollars for seven days. Depends on the base price is much less than that. But every time you want to do one of the Reiki treatments or one of the massages or one of the energy healing's, that's, that's a that's that's money on top and it adds up. But you can you can get away for much less than what you what you quoted.
Okay. Well, I'm intrigued to get there and cool man, you and I are on the same page.
Like this is not something I, you know, I seek out. I'm like, oh, I got, you know, got to get my energy cleared or whatever. But when they're one in Rome, so to speak, it's like, yeah, this this feels good. This is this is right.
Well, I think I think the problem is a lot of the people on both ends misinterpret what's happening, which is the people that are selling it are sort of grafting on these mythical properties. And then the people that are pushing against it going, I don't need to speak to any invisible Shaqra to feel good about myself. But what you don't realize is it's not either. It's literally being quiet, being with yourself, sometimes just repeating things or breathing or saying things out loud while someone's putting their hands on you and burning something and you're smelling something and you're feeling something and it just changes you.
Not for any. I've always said it about Buddhism. I was like, I'm not I don't bind Buddhism. But if you want to if you have a goal and you want to chant on it every day for twenty minutes, you'll probably reach the goal faster. How could it hurt? Yeah, what could what could the harm be? All right, let me hit the LifeLock and then we'll do a Chet Waterhouse fraudsters out there. They're sending messages through social media and emails with a cash app scam.
The message messages offer free money via the app. Help during this difficult time. Do not these people are the word. They figure out when you're when you're down and they kick him and support and understand how cyber crime and identity theft are affecting our lives, every day we put our input risk on the Internet. You could miss certain identity threats if you're just monitoring your credit. LifeLock detects a wide range of identity threats like your Social Security number for sale on the dark web.
If you have a dedicated they have dedicated restoration specialist who will work on your case if you become a victim, but you won't if you get LifeLock right, doesn't know, prevent identity theft or monitor all the all transactions that all this is LifeLock and any threats you might miss on your own.
Join now and save a 25 percent off your first year by using promo code. Adam, call one 800 LifeLock or read to LifeLock dotcom use promo code at home for 25 percent off.
All right. Should we do a little chat? Waterhouse the sports. With bought her house. Now, brother, time for the Waterhouse update brought to you by hopscotch, the scotch that brings out the kid in you, America's pastime. No, not creating a fake federal breathing agency. Baseball will continue tension thicker than tear gas at the Portland Post Office. St. Louis Cardinals. So many covid cases they've dropped behind old folks homes in the standings. Ouch.
That's got to sting.
The Astros in Oakland got booed by a cardboard cutout. Jose Altuve went into the stands after the cut up, but got a bad papercut. Had to be rushed to Oakland up to no good medical center. That wrap up sponsored by spinn apple juice. Franco, a bad posture with pineapple juice.
NBA leading the Truman Show bumhole season with a five record. The Phoenix Suns so covered or no covered, the NBA's probably going to shut this whole thing down. Ultimate fighting to avoid any shutdown threats. Dana White announced UFC 264 will be held in a C-130 troop transport flying in the eye of a hurricane. That item sponsored by I'm Not a fan, the portable fan that's as soft as it judgmentalism called Colin Morikawa runs away with the PGA Championship.
Kent was harder to catch than free porn on a motel TV biker rally. Sturgis, South Dakota, hosting two hundred and fifty thousand bikers. Almost none wore masks, but every bar served free Clorox shots. And finally, this week in sports history, the year 1975, the place, Akron, Ohio. Jack Nicklaus won his fourth PGA crown over Australian Bruce Crampton, said, Crampton, I cramped up this Waterhouse up they brought to you by Susan Rice for vice president.
Oh, wait, scratch that. Let me find it. There we go. Frenzy, the app that finds you way too many friends if you want more me this weekend, a legit gig. I'm doing play by play on the Starbound sports simulcast of ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball. Join me in my colorant. Tommy Jentsch Henderson. As the Red Sox take on the Yankees sponsored by McStuffins fully hardened Irish Oatmeal, this is Chet Waterhouse reminding you to play with Pace Jet Waterhouse.
Chet Waterhouse, always the best. I like the pineapple juice, I like to hopscotch one nice frenzy.
What was I thinking? The name of the standup special Pandora Spotify is where you can get in the podcast, Play with Pain with Chet Waterhouse available on Apple podcast while the website, Jeff Caesarea, The Medium Ragu, Jeff Zarrillo, Dotcom, the Big Five three, everybody, Jeff Caesarea. Jeff, thanks for joining us. We appreciate it. My friend, always funny. We'll take a quick break. We'll come back with the news right after this.
The great news with Genographic breaking fire, all those crazy Trump tweets give me no trouble in the Middle East celebrity Trump meltdown. Jeanne Moos with Jeanne on the news with Genographic. So we all know by now, but just to give a brief update, because it did sort of break in to the to the middle of the show, the Secret Service update from having Trump step off the stage in the middle of this briefing. According to a tweet by the Secret Service, a shooting an officer involved shooting at 17th Street and Pennsylvania Avenue happened.
An official told ABC News that a suspect fired at a non-White House employee and was hit by gunfire from an ununiformed Secret Service officer. Male suspect was taken in an ambulance to a hospital in critical condition with a gunshot wound in the upper body. And because we didn't get to see it at the time, here's what it looked like when they asked Trump to please come with them. So anticlimactic. Walked right out the room, and you know what surprised me, and maybe it shouldn't, I don't know, but you just all the things you hear about him, didn't you?
Didn't didn't he seems sort of like refreshingly compliant, like, oh, I guess we're leaving. You know, there was no back talk or like, well, what do you think you're doing? And, you know, Miami is like, oh, it's time to go. Yeah.
Felt like I felt compliant. Yeah, they felt malleable, I think. Labasa. Yeah. Compliant. Yeah.
I mean, I don't know, it seemed reasonable like the guy said, hey, we got to go and he went Oh yeah.
Okay, yeah. Walked out.
So that's just a little footnote to the breaking news. Someone has a vaccine. It's not us and we're not sure. We don't have any efficacy yet. But Russia claims to have won the worldwide race to create a covid-19 vaccine.
Despite international skepticism, Russia became the first country to register a coronavirus vaccine and declare it ready for use, even though it has yet to begin phase three trials, which could take months. Russian President Vladimir Putin insisted that the vaccine has gone through all the necessary tests and that he's already given the vaccine to one of his daughters. An adult woman who's feeling well has a high number of antibodies. Putin says that doctors, medical workers, teachers and higher risk groups will be the first to receive the vaccine and will likely begin widespread vaccination in September.
I was looking at a I was so first off, sadly, and everything out of Russia comes with a question mark or an asterisk or something like, who knows? You know, that's the problem.
The problem is, is maybe they're lying and maybe they're not lying. I don't know. This is the problem.
When you lie, you create this aura that you don't have around countries, the nations that don't lie frequently. So, again, if this was coming out of Canada, we'd all be chilling the champagne tonight. Right now, it's like we'll wait and see.
I I was telling you guys, I think what's I saying wants to talk about the seven point seven billion people and then we're not we're not to a million deaths worldwide yet as I say that. Yeah. August said don't say that into a microphone. But I was like I was looking it up today. It's like seven point seven billion on the planet and we're at seven hundred and thirty something thousand dead worldwide, which is, you know, a high number, but compared to seven point seven billion, I don't know, it doesn't feel as scary to me as it feels to everyone else.
So are you saying it's not a grim milestone?
We haven't. I'm saying if you're making a movie about a pandemic and you couldn't crack one million deaths, most of them elderly, by the way, on the God damn planet versus seven point seven billion, it's just you wouldn't see that movie. You wouldn't buy the ticket then wouldn't be scary enough for you. And then then everyone will go. All the dicks always go tell it to the people that are dead. Well, first off, I can't tell it to the people that are dead.
They're already dead. They're in the Neptune Society with Nana and Pappy. But also look at there's nothing there's no guarantees on this planet. Shit happens. A fucking meteor could hit. Who the fuck knows? World wars break out at the wrong time. You know, if like if you're a male and you're turning 18 and a world war breaks out, that is just bad timing. You think about all those people and all that timing. You know, you hear about those guys and they're like, you know, it's like my dad was like too young for World War Two and too old for Vietnam, you know, like if you get the timing and and I like that too big a plus for Korea.
But that's just me. I'm just grafting that on.
That could be my own feelings. But the point is, is or you could be his older brother who is, you know, Ralph, who was four or five years older, who ended up being right in the middle of the island hopping Japanese campaign, the Pacific campaign, and being buried alive when a mortar went off next to his Browning 50 caliber machine gun. Like it's just bad luck. You know, there's a timing part of this. And I'd rather be around for a pandemic, especially ones that had these kinds of numbers, seven point seven billion versus not quite seven hundred and forty thousand seven hundred forty thousand dead worldwide.
I don't know. I you guys can all be freaked out. These kind of numbers are not freak out numbers to me. This isn't this isn't this isn't lock yourself in and never come out. Numbers for me. Seven points of the population, Max, get a seven point five nine seven point six billion. I've read seven seven today anyway, who knows how many Chinese fucked since the time I stopped talking.
Anyway, the census amateurishly unreliable over there.
Mm hmm. I'm scared because I the last I checked in about the population of the planet, it was six billion. That's another billion and a half people crowded around here.
It's they are going to run out of supplies. Well, the more they the more they do, the more they do. I mean, it just grows that much that much faster.
But the world the World Bank said seven point six now that the last official tally was in twenty eighteen, but now it's estimated at seven point eight, seven point eight.
All right. Well, I get. All right. Well, we're not at one million deaths worldwide yet. So, you know, to me, optimistic numbers, I would say. So the cure for me is like, good, I'd like to do it just to kind of get back to it.
But I don't I don't I'm not I'm not holding my breath.
Well, there are people that are better people than us who auction off items to help humanity. Adam, I know you've given time.
You know, you've let people come to the you know, the studios and things for auction. That's lovely. But when's the last time you did so many pornos that you became a star and auctioned off your signature glasses?
I'm waiting for an answer. I don't know if you guys are familiar with Mia Khaleefa.
Well, you might when you see the song from Fast and Furious. Yeah. Now, that's she has a brother in the gay porn business called Just Khaleefa. He's one of the most popular bottoms out there. But go ahead.
Former porn star Mia Khalifa's auctioning her infamous glasses, apparently, that she always wears to help victims of the catastrophic blast in Beirut, saying she's trying to make a positive difference as her native Lebanon continues to recover one week later. This according to New York Post, the top bid for the iconic glasses. As of me reading this right now is any guesses for glasses?
I got to tell you, if I was in porn, I would be just like Kareem Abdul Jabbar and his playing days with those sport goggles, you know what I mean? Strap. Not even not even sunglasses. I'm talking elastic strap like Dickerson. It take a lot more in a stiff wind to get those babies off me. I tell everyone their prescription. I'd have a note for my doctor. That's how I would enter. I would enter the big thing.
And in Jena, take this in the spirit in which it's intended. But you if you got into porn, it would be bullet dodged for you because. Well, let me explain why, please. Do you have a prodigious rack? Right. Right. So you would avoid the retinal detachment.
And that's not where the money is.
The money is well, green is for the money and gold is for the money.
Yeah. So, you know, easy, clean up, you know, not. And you don't have to tell me no pink. Yeah. Right. I'm speaking to the choir here but no, no Pinki. None of that, none of the baggage that comes along with the backup.
No rinsing. That's all I'm saying. No problem.
You've given me a lot to think about when a lot. Right. A lot to be grateful for. Thank you. Next time you're complaining about not being able to jog, just think about the poor pickups and porn.
You're absolutely right. They do take a beating. Thank you. So as of right now, the glasses, the beard right now is at. 100000 dollars. Oh, my, yeah, so I'm going to show you a little video of her being internationally like she no longer saying, please, nobody's buying it.
I don't know the name, but I'm all I'd like to know more about this actress.
Well, let's let's let her talk about it herself.
Here you go. She's showing up Khalifa and her pink dress. OK, now that the algorithm thinks that this is for white tech talk, I just want to let you guys know that there is a humanitarian crisis in Lebanon right now and they need our help because their government is corrupt in not doing anything about it. So I'm doing what I can. And what I can do is auction off the original Mia Khalifa glasses, which are on eBay right now.
And the bidding is at about fifty thousand, I believe. So that's the link in my bio. Let's raise the money for the Red Cross in Lebanon. Every single penny is going to them.
Wow, she's cute.
Kareem Abdul Jabbar auctioned off game war worn goggles when he says game night means a regular game, right? Yeah.
And again, what, he fetch the price as a click over 12 grand? Yes. Cute. That's cute. Yeah, it's cute. Doesn't move the needle now. Wow. So she's over 100 grand. I you know, I got to tell you, with generally with my porn stars, like.
Hmm. See how to describe this. You know how I love vintage racing.
Sure. OK, so you're more of an on golden blond guy. Yeah, I'm like I'm more like, wait a minute, I go to high school with that chick and then I and chances are you did look at her body of work. Yeah. I'm the guy who finished racing a 71 Datsun 510, got home and watched the Love Boat episode from nineteen seventy nine. So you can sort of see what camp I'm in, right. Yeah. Mm hmm.
Throwback old school so au naturel. Hmm. Oh. Yeah.
I don't I've never been a groom yourself. Ladies, I've not. I've never had all the work done. Never.
I was never a fan of that. I was in Playboy kind of talking about that.
Oh you're talking about you're not talking about. Oh sorry. You're not talking about boob jobs or any of that stuff.
You know, the thing about the porn and the vision for me is when it looks work. I think so far, whether you're talking about men's hair, John Travolta, if you're listening or you're talking about women getting work done or even when you're talking about when you see one of the guys I deal with, all these guys who do really high in custom cars. Right. And when you look at a car that they have done. The best thing they'll hear is like, oh, is the Bush the bumper this way and then they go, Oh no, no, we shaved it all down and we brought it in.
And then someone will go, oh, why didn't the factory do it this way? Like, it looks so much better, like the way you're doing, but you can't exactly tell what they've done. All you know is the product is better, but you can't walk right to it and point at stuff and go see what you did here. And I feel that way with the snatch. I feel that go go ahead and make it look natural, but clean it up a little bit.
But I don't want to know. I don't want to see the sharp lines, you know, like it's sort of like the the male body of the guy where they go, oh, that guy's in great shape because he swims all the time versus he's on Royds. Right. That that look, the synthetic look versus natural look.
And you just hit the nail on the head. Why I didn't have my nostrils done when I had my nose job.
Mm. For that reason specifically you can have nostrils done.
Oh yeah. Because the nostrils pin back. Yeah.
Dead giveaway. Yeah. Yeah I agree.
So I said just leave as is just, just you know, shape her up. I'm telling you, let's get to it. I'm telling you when I got my lawn done different than your grill. But the lawn if you get the little you get the Kelly Green stuff and just put it all, it just looks, it looks like a miniature golf course. You have to take a 180 lawn. They have to have stuff that's like California grass. It's got a little speckles of dead grass and a little little gray around the temple.
Look so realistic when you put it in one yellow strand for every fifty beetle green strands.
Yeah. Whatever the ratio is, it makes this perfect sort of natural look. All right. Sorry, where were. We can all agree. We can all agree. So tough transition.
But Hasbro has removed a Troll's doll from stores after people complained that it was sexually inappropriate. So trolls are big right now, apparently. And there's a poppy, I guess is the star of one of the trolls movies. And I think it's Anna Kendrick's character. The move comes on.
And after an online petition which gathered 300000 signatures calling to pull trolls world to a giggle and sing poppy, why were foul committed?
Why don't you throw the picture up, Kaitlyn, and and you'll see why. So in the in between Poppy's legs, there's a button. And if you push it, she giggles. And it was like, oh, well, you pushed the team.
We're getting out now. Hasbro has thoughts about this and said that is not what it's for. It's supposed to be when she sits down, she makes a noise and she giggles. But the feature was designed to react when the doll was seated. But we recognize the placement of the sensor may be perceived as inappropriate.
It's Tante. It's a little tainted. It's right in between the legs, right at the bottom.
It's I don't know.
I here's, I guess my feeling on most all this stuff, sort of like when I don't know what's her name comes out with shoes that are racist. Like, do you think that was her intent, Katy Perry, do you think she wanted to make racist shoes?
And if the answer is no, then then pack nothing to see here. Go, go, go, go. Protest police brutality like that. It's unnecessary. It's unnecessary to graft everything on to everything or even stop or even waste your time with certain things like go find. There's last I checked, there's still human trafficking going on, set every piece of energy you have toward getting things taken. Doll's taken down at the Toys R US and put it all into human trafficking.
But I totally agree with you. But this might be a click different because it's not like, oh, we're pulling all the Malana costumes because it's cultural appropriation. This is like. This feels different. You know, it's not like I'm not saying get rid of the dog, I'm saying it doesn't feel totally one to one because you don't want your kid going around in, like trying to, you know, put its finger up every dolls, but just to see if it's going to jiggle or friends in preschool.
And we have a weird relationship with what encourages people to do whatever, like we have a version. So we have like a weird relationship with it. Like we have rap music and they're talking about shooting people and dropping in bombs. And someone goes, well, that doesn't make young people do anything. That's just them expressing their art and people get it. And there's a context. And I'm like generally in that camp. And then there is a version where it's like Trump's blowing a dog whistle to the Klan when he says this are urban, that that's going to make these people do this.
And I'm like, and then there's video games that's going to encourage people that go out and be violent or it's not. But I'm saying they have a weird, selective version of how we interpret all this stuff, because some people and sometimes the same people can be in one camp where, like, this message is getting people to do that. And then the same people are saying there's nothing wrong with that rap music or there's nothing wrong with video games that have buttons on taints of troll dolls.
And I'm saying in general, I don't think we're near as pliable as people think we are in terms of like hearing rap music or playing video games or Tipper Gore. Tain't yeah, tain't buttons or whatever. I think I think I think at least it's safe to say that if you raise your kids and you do a decent job raising your kids, they're not going to hear rap lyrics play a video game or see a troll doll and go out and experiment that's touched me and my troll giggle area.
That's just me. Bodrov I Maxo pada do we have shown you on my phone or shown in that love boat thing? I was filming a few different live clips.
I didn't know exactly. This is I think it's the first one where the hot chick is getting on the boat. He just reminded me with this sort of message and the sexuality and all that kind of stuff, I just sit and watch the Love Boat every night and it's like this one the hot chick gets on the boat. It's like Jill St. John or something. The heart to heart chick, I think, was the heart to heart chick.
She gets on the boat and the dock gopher and the captain are all just standing there greeting them and they're all trying to bangar as she walks onto the boat. This is the captain, the doctor and the purser all just standing there laughing about trying to get in her pants as she walks onto the boat.
Simpler time, simpler times.
All right. I'll tell you about Geico first one, see if you can find that right now, Geico is offering an extra fifteen percent credit on car, motorcycle, on RV policies. That's fifteen percent on top of the money. Geico could already be saving you. So what are you waiting for? Hmm. Let's get going and let's save money now. Never been a better time to switch a Geico save an extra fifteen percent when you switch by October seven, visit Geico Dotcom to learn more.
That is Geico dotcom. So they're all just hanging around.
I've been on five cruises now. I don't think I've met the captain or the doctor for that matter. But there is. I want you guys to take a look at the. We felt I just shot it right off my TV, so it's not like I downloaded anything or anything, so that's a little bit rough. But I want you to take a look at the doctor and his face as he's trying to pick up this hot chick who just walked on the boat captains going for it.
First, Xanax expats you can play to certainly story online just upstairs. Look at the doc. He's making eyes at her own show.
Yes, you can, but it's right next to him. Oh, this is so good. I opened the branch that my I can see from the pictures of certain. There comes a third employee of the cruise line. I've been on a plane trying to get a mechanical problem, I'm sure. All right. You can you can pause it now.
Later on, go ends up banging her. So the doc is like, I'll walk you to your cabin right next to my office, like your office is on the other side of the ship.
Well, I franchised to Willis Hunter by the elbow.
Like that's how you grab your girl when you're pissed. This is mainstream. Eight o'clock ABC prime time television, single chicks climbing on to a vessel. Captain, Doctor, you want to talk about throwing your title around or you know that obviously it's you know, Louis C.K. is in trouble because if you tell junior comedy comic one stage time, don't you, that's you lauding your position over them. Right. This the captain, the doctor just wildly and openly just hating on hot single chick, getting on the boat like before she even gets to her cabin, just isn't even got her cabin.
They're trying to drag her up there.
I love it, guy. Well, after this is all off track, there's a laugh track.
And as I always say, the scripts all had to be approved by Princess Cruise Lines. They all had to give approval on this. I, I came across a song about with this a withdrew. But I mean, if somebody said for breakfast, hey Isaac, these muffins are a little stale, they would have crossed that out. You can't say that we're running a cruise ship here. You understand we have a reputation. We have a reputation here.
Oh, man. You guys got to watch a lot about how insane is that?
I it's odd to even see it. I can't explain it. Like, that's nothing like that's on now.
It'd be one thing if the captain saw the bartender doing it and then reprimanded him. The captain and the doctor are going get out of the way. I got here first the falling over themselves.
Yeah. That's like a sexual harassment HRR video. What not to do. It's HRR video, right? Yeah. Show it to us one more time and just show me the doc's face. All you have to do is, is look, just look at that, turn the sound down and just look at the docs face. That's all I want you to do when he's like undressing her with his eyes and mugging.
Looking at the camera, he he's never met this woman before. Co-sign Doc's face.
Oh, he gets to go back one more time. I got to see if we got to get the bar out of there side. I love to sit home every night of 10, 10 at night watching the ship going, I cannot believe this is what happened. And that's where I got all my ideas about sexuality and the male and the female roles. So how's that serving you in 2012? It is seared into my brain, I'm grandfathered and programmed.
What is the big ragu come in? The big ragu at the big rack. I was watching a promo and he's like a miniature little acrobat. But it's actually the big ragu he factors. And I'm not comfortable saying how. Sorry.
Go ahead, Jenna. All right. One more. Yeah. All right. Well, this this series of pictures has gone viral in the last 24 hours, really making the rounds.
A German man sunbathing in the nude at a lake in Berlin had his leisurely day thrown into a tailspin when a wild boar made off with his laptop. But unlike other people, you know, he's not just pissing and moaning. My laptop's gone. Oh, no. According to an Instagram post that has all the pictures. And I'll show you in a second.
A woman who was at the lake where the incident occurred, where the man was sunbathing naked, really gave us the whole story.
She writes in her and her description, the boar's first eat a pizza from a man's backpack and then spotted a bright yellow bag which had the laptop in it. They scooped up, bolted. And I'll show you the pictures now.
Oh, and the chairman, a couple of emojis over him, just to give him a little bit of dignity, although I don't know if the 10 gallon hat helps, we have another one, the wild boar with the family of wild boar and the and there he goes with the laptop.
And I think there's one more. Yeah, I've noticed it like I've noticed some others around wearing the Speedo, you know, they wear the Speedo in Europe and a lot of those dudes, you see those middle aged dudes that got the gut on them and they got a little extra weight around the midsection and they're wearing the Speedo. And it's not too big a leap to get from there to nude. You know what I'm saying? See here a piece of fabric.
We wear board shorts. We got guys with shorts that go down below their knee and come up under the fucking third. You we got guys with huge shorts like the the board shorts or as long as the pants my son wore when he was six, you know, like we have three foot long shorts to get us nude. We got to there's got to be a couple of steps to go from board shorts and nude. That's a leap. Speedo to nude.
That's half that's half a lateral move in. Your balls are hanging out.
You're not leaving anything to the imagination in a Speedo. And I speak as somebody who has has been to multiple Greek beaches with, you know, middle aged Greek men. That's just the style. And a lot of the moms, they are hanging out just doing their thing. So, I mean, to see nudity is neither here nor there, but it is jarring when you're not used to it.
They they so the boar stole it. Did he get it back up.
He that the whole point of the post was look at how focus this guy was, this naked older man to get this back. He ran, he leapt over stuff, he's dangling in the breeze, running as far as he can, snatches the bag back. And when he went back to his to his towel, this woman who wrote the post that everybody stood up nude and clapped for him.
The I got a policy with nude bathing, which is I'm not uptight about it, but if I'm in an area and there are are animals that possess tusks, I keep the shorts on.
It's a tusk related thing, you know, and boars have tusks.
And I don't expose the sack anywhere near the tusk because the sack and the tusk, although they almost sound alike, you know, sack and tusk, but they're really they're really oil, other water and vinegar.
They're just and they shouldn't go anywhere near each other. Yes. Right.
Oh, they're the place where I was at in Sedona. Lots of guys in board shorts. Also coincidentally, maybe not while the animals have a Lyness, I'll have a linas.
Yeah. Wild deer, all sorts of bats.
Wild wild pigs. It is funny that in the world is as uptight as we are. You could almost tell, like if you go to Rio de Janeiro or something, they're all wearing like thong back nothing, not hammocks or whatever we wear like shorts that are three feet long with Velcro and a drawstring like we got like we're tying it up bad good looking in here, like raping my ass. Like I got Velcro. I got a button, I got an inside button.
I got a shoelace. Yeah. Like a timeless shit all up. These are fucking pants that I'm wearing to the beach like it's kultury. It's like kind of they got pockets, they got everything and they've got a liner in there like I'm wearing a Speedo under my shorts. I got the sack hammock in there. Like some of those board shorts are pretty fucking involved. Yep. Yeah. And they're just wearing that. It's I think culturally you would know everything about the culture just going down the line to what they wear to the beach.
Indeed. Good luck to my Gilberton. All right.
Let's let's bring it home. You got it.
I'm Genographic grad and that's the news that, you know, that was the news with Genographic Nik Wallenda is going to be on tomorrow, the high wire act, the kind of stand there that the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, what are they, Brazilian Tinian, something like that.
I think maybe Argentinean or at least that Wallenda. I don't know. But I believe it was his grandfather who was in Argin Austro Hungarian descent.
He died in Argentina right after making that up. He died for, ah, Puerto Rico. Sorry.
They've been around for years and years and years and years. Yes, I've been around for a long time. Mom was staying with me for a week a couple of months ago. And of those big mosquito hawks, ones flying in my kitchen and my mom says, Michael, you got a Flying Wallendas in there? Yeah. Hell are you talking about?
Oh, they've been around for four generations. Yeah. Yeah.
The last one was across that, like, volcano pit. Right. Right. That was awesome. Yeah. So we'll talk to Nick about that. All right. Fifteen seconds worth of JB Weld here. They're proud sponsor they and. Roll the show epoxy adhesive brand used by both DIY buyers and experienced pros as well, trusted for 50 years available JBI Welcom retailers everywhere, including Home Depot and Lowe's and AutoZone. It's JP. Well, all right. Tempe Improv is on.
As far as we know, we have no idea anymore. September 18th and 19th, we'll do a live podcast there and standup as well. I'm your emotional support animal is available. Go to Amazon and leave a review. I do read them and I do appreciate them. Jeff Zarrillo, everybody, you can check out his podcast, Play With Pain with Jeff. Oh, sorry. With Chat Waterhouse. Well, Jeff, Jeff Sario available Apple podcast as well.
Till next time, Sam. For Jeff and Gene and Balsan, mahalo. Follow the Adam Carolla Show on Twitter.
Adam Carolla Show. Follow us on Twitter nanomaterial. You can leave us a voicemail at eight six three four one seven four four. Make sure you get Adam's new book. I'm Your Emotional Support Animal. It's available everywhere. The links are Adam Carolynn.