This is an all ears English podcast, episode one thousand five hundred forty nine, don't get left behind when the conversation escalates.

Welcome to the All Ears English podcast downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American hosts. Linda McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York Radio Girl coming to you from Colorado and New York City U. S a and to get Real-Time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try our Iooss app, start your seven day free trial at all airs English dot com forward slash bonuses.

When people get excited in conversations, things naturally tend to speed up. What can you do to keep up with the pace so you can contribute and conversations learn a key strategy that you can use today?

Hey, Michelle, how's it going? Today, we're on camera today over on YouTube. Hey, I just made this crazy face. Hi, guys. How are you? Hi, Linda. Hey, guys. If you didn't know this, we do occasionally about once a week, a little less than that. We publish some of our episodes over on YouTube so you can actually see us recording this episode, which is a whole nother way to check the podcast, right?

Yeah, exactly. Now, you can see when I check things or what's going on. So anyway, the guys. Yes, welcome to English on YouTube.

And if you're not watching on YouTube, then that's OK to you.

Absolutely. Michelle, we've been talking a lot lately about fast group conversations, right? I mean, it's one thing if our listeners can understand you and me, you know, speaking back and forth just to people or speaking at a normal speed was just two of us. But what happens when there's a third or even a fourth? Right.

It completely changes, you know, the the dynamic, right. It changes everything because, you know, two speakers, you're listening in a different way. So, guys, when all of a sudden you have a third person or a fourth person jump in, it's it's a whole different ballgame, right? Oh, my God.

A whole different ballgame. I love that expression, by the way.

Really old everybody. So we're going to try to help our listeners with this today. And what exactly are we going to hone in on today around, you know, fast conversations and groups? Well, what happens in groups, guys, is that there is a lot of back and forth, you know, so sometimes, you know, one person will take over the conversation for a couple seconds or something like that, and then it switch quickly, like another person will go, oh, this, this, this, this, this.

Right. Yes.

Very, very, very quickly. And so those are the moments where I, I think that listeners might have a tricky time. Right. Because all of a sudden it's like, wait, who's talking? What's going on? And you're just kind of moving back just so quickly. Right. So we kind of want to get a handle on this. And so that's what we're going to be talking about today. You know, what is the strategy? How can we really follow in these moments where things go, one, two, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, right?

Sometimes people take over and it's good. Like you want to hear what that person saying. You want to understand and be able to interject again yourself so you're not left, right, way behind the crowd. Right. That's what today is about. Exactly. Exactly.

You want to be able to follow so that you can understand what people are saying, but also that you can speak, you can interject, you can say your opinion and not miss anything in the middle. Yeah.

And that's really why we created conversations in Coffee. It's our new subscription program, guys, where every week, everyone's day, if you are signed up, if you're on the list, you get a weekly listening quiz and you're listening to a fast in English conversation with our whole team with three or four of us. Michel, we just got me. And we are going fast, right? We were going natural, going fast.

And it's not easy. It's not easy. And we talk about really, really fun topics. And that's why, guys, I'm will kind of get into this like that's why the boom, boom, boom happens. We're talking about these fun topics that we all we all want to pitch in what we have to say. We all want to contribute. Exactly.

And you want to be around native speakers who are excited about that. They're excited. You want to be in places where people are excited, what they're talking about, what they're talking about. But you need to be able to listen to guys to subscribe there, go to all those English dot com slash fast and get on the list is just a weekly program. And I'm telling you, it's going to change your listening skills. So cool. So cool.

Absolutely. I love it as it's so much fun so far. So let's let's talk about the strategy here. Right. So what is it? The idea is to think when you're listening, think about what moves the conversation forward. So that's the question. Right. OK, how does each comment tie together? Right. Why does one person stop talking? Why does the next person start talking? So we'll get more into that. But I mean, why why do we do that and how do we do that?

So, I mean, why I mean, this helps us focus, right? So this is really, really paying attention because you're kind of going back and forth very quickly. So this really forces you when you're practicing your listening skills, especially with these conversations, these group conversations. This really forces you to listen in a very different way. You're not necessarily listening to all the specific words. You're not, you know, like you're listening to this one thing.

Why is the conversation moving forward? OK, what is happening? So this is just a new way to practice a new strategy to use to help you with these group conversations. OK, so you mean we're trying to find kind of like the link, like what is the link that we noticed that it just moved from movies to. Yeah, I don't know, drama like Broadway or what we're trying to figure out. What was the link? What was that thing that was said.

Is that what right, what kind of set off this chain reaction, OK? Like, why did it go slow, slow, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick. And what what led us there and why? Right. So that's what you're listening for. Right. And so, you know, another thing as this will lead us to naturally understanding things, right? Sure. Once you if you focus on this topic, I mean, this is so vital to these conversations.

Right? This is the key guy. So it will help you naturally understand things. And Lindsey, what I mean, what else will as I mean, it's going to show us patterns.

And that's really what we want you guys to do, is to become like scientists around the language, language scientists to pick up on the pattern so that you store it in your bank. And you know what those patterns are that tend to move the conversation in a 180. Right. A 180 or 90 degree turn. You know what those are. So now next year, that level where you're predicting that, right, Michel? Is that what we're trying to go for you seeing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You are. You are predicting you. That's exactly what you're doing, Lindsey. Yeah, I yeah, I love that. So, guys, we are going to give you guys a practice here on this show. We are going to play a clip from our conversations in coffee. And you're going to see you're going to hear actually that this is what happens. Right. So, OK, we're going to play this clip.

It's it's it's fun. It's about TV. OK, and this was our conversation we had about binge watching. Right. Lindsay, do you remember that? I do.

Of course, everyone has something to say about binge watching. So this is likely something that would tend to escalate and start to go really fast and start to move in different directions. So, guys, again, this is a clip from one of our weekly quizzes, one of our weekly listening clips that you would be getting part of it right if you were in the program.

OK, so cool. So cool. Exactly. Exactly. So, guys, so you're going to hear this clip. And when you're listening to this clip, OK, I want you to think to yourself, why does the conversation move forward and how do the comments tie together? Right. So this idea is, you know, how are like I like what you said, Lindsey. Like, why does it escalate White House? Is a conversation escalate?

I really like that word there because, you know, things start off in one way and they end in another way.

And then you can talk in front of you. I can't stop saying that. I mean, I'm sorry about this, Cliff. I'm excited to hear it. So shall we play the clip? Got to play the clip for a little better.

But remember, guys, just focus on that. Why does the conversation move forward? That's it. OK, all right. Let's play the clip here, the clip.

But the quality of TV shows have gotten that much better, too.

Like Orange is the New Black is the first show I ever saw on Netflix or really started to really watch on Netflix in the writing. And that show is so good that I did binge it because I want to do is so good. You know, that's the other thing.

Quality is better now or so many times at the end of the night where I'm like, no, no, no, I can't, I'm not going to watch the next one. I'm not going to watch the next one. And this is what a lot of shows. Then you get to the end of it and it's so like, oh my gosh, that you just have to.

I just watched dead to me. Oh, that is such a good show. Christina Applegate of the is a good man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I loved that show.

And that was the type of show where something would happen right at the end where you're like, OK, I guess I'm watching this rapper like singer.

What's the next one. OK, Michelle. So we are back, right. So what happened there? What happened in that conversation?

OK, well basically what happened is, Lindsay, you're explaining a point and it led to much more, right? Because it was a really interesting topic. Right. Talking about TV. And I mean, eventually I also made a longer comment. And then from then on it went, you know, rapid fire right between all of us. And everybody started contributing. Right. So, I mean, the questions were, I mean, why does the conversation move forward and how do the conversations how do the comments tie together?

Right. So this is kind of this idea of almost mapping out. Yeah. What did we say? Right. So really thinking of it as a guide, picking up on even just those key words. Right. Those just that one word that starts that rapid fire that gets everybody going. So, you know, that's a really good strategy to use to consider how this conversation naturally moved forward, how it naturally escalated. Right, Lindsay?

Yeah, this is cool. I mean, I imagine taking this conversation and putting it on a map like a city map is so cool. And what exactly happened? It's like what happened to. Right. And then if we can understand that and do that multiple times, will be ready to predict and hedge and like understand it when it's about to happen. In a conversation we're in, right? So why did it move forward, Michele? Well, basically, I mean, it's exciting.

I mean, we we all have experience with this. We were talking about I mean, you were you were really starting off, you know, talking about orange is the new black and, you know, Netflix and how things have gotten so good. And I agreed. And you you're talking about the quality. And then I chime in and I got excited. Number one, we we both have watched Orange is the New Black. And, you know, I say talk about my experience and then things kind of started to escalate a little bit.

Right. So instead of like you were talking for a while, then I talked for a while. And then something something really, really changed here. So, I mean, Lindsay, it was because I shared a show that I couldn't stop watching at the time. It was called Dead to Me. And what happened was Jessica also watch that show. And she got excited because, I mean, she said that's such a good show. Right. So she immediately jumped in.

So really that that trigger point was saying the name of the show, right, Lindsay? Oh, OK.

So this is good. So you're suggesting that when we're throwing out names of pop culture things, we could expect other people to kind of jump in and maybe things would switch quick, like when there's a stimulus kind of. Right? That's true, right. Because. Right, exactly. That's such a good point because. Yeah, pop culture is such a great connection topic. So generally, if you say the name of something and somebody in the group, I mean, if it's a group of four people and it's something from pop culture, there's a there's a solid chance that somebody will have watched it or listen to what you're talking about or would have read that book or know that actress or whatever it is.

Yeah, there's a fairly good chance, you know, if you're like a group of friends and you know each other and whatever.

So that when I said the name of that show, that started things off. Right. Yeah. So she's oh, that's such a good show. And then you haven't seen it. So you shared that.

And then she talks about who's in it and then we kind of like, all right, you know, I bet we could actually make a list and this could be a strategy we could teach our listeners later a list of topics like this that tend to get piled on to like tend to be like trigger points where people are like, oh, OK, I have something to say. Write pop culture, movies, music, history, write things about history that we know about events or places we've traveled.

Those are things that everyone's going to jump in and say something. So to be prepared for it and to be prepared for that conversation, to swing down different streets if we're looking at a map. Right. So cool, right?

That's exactly right. And yeah, I mean, I kind of go into the show a little bit more and then, you know, it was just this this really good connection moment. You know, we don't have to go through exactly the whole thing of the entire conversation, but basically we geek out. Jessica and I are geeking out. Lizzie, what does that mean to geek out? I love that.

I'm so glad to teaching it. So to go really deep into something and maybe to act a little nerdy because you know so much about the thing and you just keep talking and other people are like, right, right.

So we usually geek out about things that we love, things that we know a lot about. So just Jessica, can I start to geek out? Right. Yeah. About this show. Definitely of our show. So that was this connection moment. So, I mean, you know, we used other words like. Exactly. And yes. To really share how we felt. So, yeah. I mean, and guys, this is with conversations and coffee.

We like I said before, we're doing topics that will cause these kind of reactions.

Right. We're not going to talk about something boring because we want it to be natural. We want it to be something that will be things that people will pick up on and want to contribute to. Right, Lindsay?

Exactly. And it really is filling a gap that you guys are I don't think that you're getting this gap filled anywhere else. I haven't seen much online anywhere where English teachers are helping students really get these group conversations. So we are uniquely positioned to help you guys in this school. Is there anything else we need to know about analyzing this clip right here?

Yeah, I mean, I think, you know, thinking also about the speed, right. How things kind of speed up. It's not only about, you know, what we say or that someone interrupts or something like that, but also the speed things just kind of escalate again. I think that that was a really good word to say. I mean, but I mean, in general, I mean, there are other reasons why conversations might move along.

But this is one of them. And it's a shared love for something, a shared interest in a topic. OK, it's in a word, it's connection, right? Yeah, true.

When things are a source of connection, that's when we can expect it to get harder to listen. But more important to understand in a sense. Right. Because we are all about connection, not perfection. If you lose the. Connection in the conversation in the moment when connection could form or because you felt closer to Jessica, I'm sure after that conversation, because you guys shared that love for that show, right?

Absolutely. It's exciting. It's exciting to know that someone's watching. Someone is watching what you're watching. You know, you you do get that especially I mean, that is a really good show that, you know, when, you know, someone is watching something that you're really, really impressed with, it feels good. You're like, oh, you know, someone there validated it. Does it go yet? Right?

Yeah. It's like I said, it's a weird it's like a sense of feeling validated in the world. Like your taste. Yeah, it's interesting. So, guys, this is so important, right, Michel?

I mean, how should we wrap up the episode for today? OK, guys.

Well, this is this idea of trying to map out what you're listening to. Right. This is a new listening strategy. So when you are when you're practicing listening to these group conversations, you can say, OK, I I'm going to practice listening now specifically for what escalates the conversation. Total chain reaction. Why does one comment lead to the next what happens to the speed of the conversation, the overall vibe? People get excited, right? So try and map out what you're listening to, especially with that quick back and forth.

What was the word someone said to spark someone to take over and contribute? Why did it happen? Right. And as as we mentioned, I think in the last episode about this, you know, consider again how you might contribute to this topic. What would you say? Maybe you would say something like, lindsy like, oh, I haven't watched it or what is it about? Or maybe you have watched it. Right. So I always think about, OK, well, let's take that next step.

Let's attach it to speaking as well and thinking quickly in the moment. What would you say? Even in guys, it doesn't matter if you haven't seen it, right? That's not what this is about. You can still contribute or maybe mention another show or more questions or maybe, you know, an actress from that show about how you would contribute. Yeah. Just because you don't share that thing in common with the other person doesn't mean you're out of the conversation forever.

It's your job to figure out how to get back in. Right.

But have you got to get creative?

Yeah, but if you can't understand what they're saying because they're going so fast and they're escalating, then we're in trouble. We can't get back in.

And that's when we get left behind, guys. So to make sure that this kind of thing doesn't happen, to get more practice with these skills, you do want to sign up for our conversations in coffee program, Michel, where can they go to sign up?

All is English dotcom. Agfest Awesome. I'm so excited. So looking forward to seeing guys over there. And Michelle, this has been another great episode analyzing our our conversation. We're being geographers here. We're mapping things out.

Yes. I love it. I love it. Oh, my gosh. So, guys, this was a lot of fun practice with the strategy. Let us know how it goes. And really. Yeah, like Lindsey said, don't get left behind in those conversations. Right, with the escalation. So good.

So good. Yeah. I'll talk to you very soon. Have a good one. Thanks. You too. Bye bye.

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