Christmastime is here. This is so full, so full, welcome to our Christmas episode, just a little bit late, but I'm just so excited because when we were recording this, it hasn't happened yet. Welcome to holiday season. Happy belated Hanukkah.
Happy just, you know, life, I guess, because we're leaving 20/20 and I'm so thrilled. Can we I'm I, I have found can we also can we do the house of the house for the whole bowl versus can we do at the same time always say one, two, three, go Christmas.
Verse first one.
OK, OK, I feel better, no one else does, but that's OK. Everyone else feels worse. If you're the editor, do not worry about trying to line is up there.
Like I wasn't planning on it. But since we're on Zoom, it's a lot harder for us to know who's saying what at what point.
Allow it. Allow it to be. It's it's chaotic. It's a service purpose. It's chaotic. It's like it's like when you sing in for, like, row, row, row your boat. Yes.
It's a round after round round. We should actually call each other some time and do that privately or we see how many horseflies we can get through in one round. Can we do it.
But not privately actually livestream it. So catch you later on etc..
Everybody, everybody's going to leave Patrón. Anyway, hello and welcome. I'm so excited because we have a holiday episode that I'm forcing onto em and everybody my Christmas cheer.
I'm very excited and we're sorry it's two days late, but we don't control the calendar. So we do control our calendar, but we're not good at it.
So I hear we I wish I had I mean, I did literally have so much time to do this and I just absolutely chose not to think about it until I was sitting right here right now. But I wish I had brought in our Krampus on the mantle, which, oh, one of our lovely fans gave us. It's like an elf on the shelf, but just incredibly so much better. I also so much love always, by the way, one of this and the year that I finally was able to buy things, Target just stopped offering it to me.
But I really want Mensch on a bench, so I love Mensch on a bench. Yeah. If someone knows where I can find myself a bench on the bench I'm in in the market for a good bench, good men.
I'm in the market for a good match. Not in that way though. I think it said very clear, very Fiddler on the Roof there.
Like matchmaker. Matchmaker. I'm yeah. I'm in the in the market for a good match anyway. Yes. Happy holidays in general. Whether you have an elf on the shelf or a gramps on the mantel or a canoe on the bayou or any of those we are a what on the what I call you on the bayou there's a oh dear. There's a there's a trend right now on Twitter where people are making different versions that rhyme like Elf on the Shelf.
Yeah, sure, sure. Of the big one going around right now is a picture of like Kyou that like show about you traumatized me as a life when my sister was little.
I can't look at, I think, how you traumatized everyone. And a lot of people now as adults are like that kid was fucking terrible, like he was really weird. I was discipline.
All know, my sister would watch that show and I'd be like, please, I would literally watch wild crafts, anything. Just get me off of this KYOU business. But no, here he is back on Tick Tock.
It was it was his his theme song that was really intoxicating. It was Don't sing, I'm not going to. But I remember they made a trap music version of it and it kind of actually was amazing.
So I night listen to that on the way home. Happy holidays by the way. I didn't copy all day.
Someone on Twitter said, oh, I love to listen to the show, except my husband hates Christine laugh or something like me too.
Me too. So whatever she to say that she said, like I try to listen to it and we're going to sleep. But my husband says Christine's laugh wakes him up so he won't let me listen. And I'm like, well I wonder if my screaming Holsapple will wake him up. So hopefully I did the the purpose.
You know, how many pet owners hate me when I used to talk to go on here because everyone, my dogs would freak out.
So because everyone likes to tell us when they hate us, which is super fun for our sites anyway.
What your favorite thing to do is humble us and I appreciate that, you know, just knock us down a peg.
So what what have you what have you been doing so far? Do you think where do you think you are in the world on the twenty seventh? Oh, I'm definitely in my home.
Well that's the sad part. Like my brother was going to come visit for the holidays. Obviously he had to stay in L.A., which is a real bummer because he's alone out there. I can't see my dad because like, you know, he has his partner that he's with and we just don't want to mix too many people. And it's just tough. So, you know, we're home alone and it's sad. And I know a lot of people out there are as well.
So this is probably why I'm overcompensating with my, like, aggressive yelling cheer.
But I mean, even your girlfriend's gone like this, so I can finally say it now that OK, so two weeks ago, everyone two weeks ago when you were listening to this, the this podcast was me.
This TV show. This manifesto. It is. No, but this podcast I had said on air and then I made our editors cut it out because I didn't want to ruin anything. But Allison went home for Christmas, but we did it the smart way, where she went all the way to South Carolina and then quarantined for two weeks before she saw anyone. She did want to get anyone sick. If she got something at the airport, then she is spending the the time isolated with her family and then she's flying back to L.A. and then she's quarantining for another two weeks and our very convenient podcast, apartment brand.
And so I'm going five weeks without seeing her. And I guess this makes this will have made three weeks by the time you hear this. So I've been a goddamn mess just staring at walls. And I tried to mention it two weeks ago, but then I realized that she was surprising her. Parents and sometimes every now and then they get the urge to listen to the podcast and I was like, wow, I'm totally going to ruin the surprise.
And it happened the one day that they shouldn't listen it come across the country. I ruin the surprise that their kid is actually like down the street and has been this time so.
Well, actually, I just realized it's such a bummer because we went on and on about the podcast apartment and how like back in like two years ago or even less than that, we were like barely able to afford rent. And now we're very privileged enough to have a space that was like going to be our recording studio. Truly, obviously, covid like turn that upside down. But that was the intention, was that we would record and YouTube there, et cetera.
But now it's been really fortunate because we have like friends who have either needed to find a place to to live short term or like or like quarantining or what have you. And so it's been really, really a cool opportunity to let people use it, especially since I'm not flying out there.
And we went on a whole tangent where I was just saying, like, I'm pretty sure someday this is going to be on a ghost tour because there's been so much like that's happened in this house with different people going in and out and somewhat and haunted dolls and a Krampus on the mantle. And, oh, my gosh, the tour guide would be like, oh, and someone quarantine's here during the pandemic of twenty twenty. And it really was just like the home for misfit friends because like.
Yes, like you said, there was one of our friends who like it sounds more tragic than it was, but ended up, you know, thinking they were going to be moving into a new place and ended up not very healthy. So then they needed a place to stay until they find between home. Yes, there is someone else needed to stay there because there was construction going on at their place. Alison is quarantining. It's been so convenient.
And it's also I mean, this sounds really Bujji and it is. And we're very we have a lot of privilege and being able to say this, but it's felt nice to be able to offer our friends just a free place to stay. Yeah.
And I feel like for so long, like I felt like I had to take advantage of not advantage, but, you know, take things from other people who are helping me out to living that was hard core struggling. And so it does feel nice to be able to be like, OK, we can offer something. Yeah. Especially because it's tough not being able to use it when I'm here.
It really it makes us feel so much better, though, like we're paying rent like. Yeah. And that's why we drink is paying rent on a place that we're not even using. So now it's like, please take this free space, like take our accommodations. So I feel very, very nice to be able to help out people.
It does anyway. So the whole point I was just going to say one day it's going to be on a haunted tour as like, you know, all these people lived in there. I was saying like as a woman in White and she's going to stand in the door with those cats all over her cat.
Right. So anyway, I just love that image in my mind that that's what the apartment is becoming. And it's like pretty on brands, very on brand. I would say, like part one of our plan is to like help everyone and be really wonderful and give that reputation off. But then part two, you realize it was all for like the shtick of like making it even more haunted in the future, like just bringing it back, bringing a lot of chaos into that place.
And then. Yeah, and in that way, people get more bang for their buck on the tour when it's all haunted and terrible.
Anyway, are there any updates. Do we have any. Yes. I want you to open your present. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. OK, so Christine did this thing not surprising. And I guess because we can't be together for the holidays, Christine, we were doing a separate gift opening, by the way. So we're going to be able to give each other presents and we'll find a way. We're we're streaming that on Patreon. I think it might have already come out when this comes out or maybe the same day.
I'm not sure, but we're not sure yet.
But you'll you'll see about it on the Internet, I guess. But so we're doing a separate gift opening situation. However, for some reason, there's one thing that Christine needed me to open today. So this got overnighted to me.
I had to overnight ship it, which, oops, that hurt my wallet.
But I mean, it was worth it. This is just beautiful. If you're following us on YouTube, you can see what this looks like, but it's very like this is like HDTV package.
OK, I'll be honest, I got a cricket. It's so dorky. But I got one of those cricket vinyl cutting machines. So that's how I made the the little gift.
I said, you don't know. It's perfect. I'm going to keep the tag. It's got a little green reindeer on it and it says my name and you know how rarely my name is spelled properly.
So well, I try my best to spell your name. I'm going to hold on to this one for as long as I can. Just. Oh, so.
So this is the reason I sent this now is because it was meant to be sent a long, long time, like weeks ago.
So we delayed it. Oh my. I apologize. That's OK.
So hopefully you can enjoy it up until Christmas.
Until Christmas. Oh my gosh. But then after Christmas, I never look at it again so. Well, I, I, I have a guess as to what that says. I'm probably wrong, but at this point you've just given me enough like traumatic experience. What do you think it is?
PTSD tells me that this is just a box of fucking lemons.
Know, but I would love it has nothing to do with Lemon I don't believe. No, it doesn't. It does not. Well, OK, here we go.
Also, I appreciate the Buffalo Plan, so thank you for that. Oh, good.
I'm glad I bought that wrapping paper just for you at Tajai. Very nature, Kosi. Oh, my gosh, that something back to the future already, I can see Marty McFly saying, I hope you don't have one of these already. Oh, Christine, go.
Oh, Christine, you don't have one, right?
No. Oh, my gosh. It's OK. Wow. There's a crew. OK.
See, I was supposed to be. That's a long time ago. I feel OK. I see what I'm supposed to be a long time ago.
For those wondering, it is it's back to the future. It's an advent calendar of back to the future. And I'm going to lose my physical mind. But also it's Playmobil, which is like if you grew up in the 90s, it was like the fucking brand of little knockoff Legos that you played with.
I don't know. I'm sure it was a knockoff Legos. But you know what I'm talking about, like a European brand. So it's probably a more German thing or.
Well, it's so funny that first of all, thank you. This is so cool.
Also, you're going to have to open like 15 at a time or something later on, happily also. OK, so I guess in every thing that you open, there is like a new little item. And then together it all builds like Hill Valley, which is. Yeah, this is so this is so on brand.
This is so sad to me that I was like it's so that I was worried you already had one. I was going to say, well I didn't know about this one, but I've been someone recently. I don't know who you are, but you do know who you are because you tagged me on Instagram, but someone tagged me and they found like a hover, like a pillow that was shaped like the back of the future hoverboard. And I don't know, it must be because, like one of the anniversaries for Back to the Future just came out.
But Target and Wal-Mart have been weirdly selling a shitload of back to the future stuff. So I've been scouring like both pages and like keeping everything in my cart. And they have a lot of like Playmobil back to the future stuff that like I've been like it's been in my cart, not this one, but the Advent calendar. I didn't know this existed, but they've had, like, little like trinket like fun packs.
So I've known that Playmobil in Back to the Future did some sort of deal together recently, but I didn't know there was going on.
I totally like I was stuck trying to figure out if I should mail it, like with your other gifts. And then I waffled on it too long. And then I just overnighted it to you for the episode.
But yeah, somebody the thing is, somebody tag me in this like in like October or something on Instagram. And I was like, don't say a word about this friend right now.
And I feel that I didn't like save their name. I think a couple of people sent me, sent me the link, but they were like, this would be a good gift.
And I was like, step aside, get them away. I have already purchased it. This is so, so cool. And one of the things that I like, I can already tell on the back that shows like some of the items you get out of this. And one of them is so if you are back to the future fan, you know that there's like a photograph that Marty has of him and his siblings. And throughout the movie, as he gets farther away from his parents meeting, the kids slowly fade away from the picture.
And and so I actually have a version of the picture where, like, if you move it, either side, like the the siblings disappear. There is like apparently a Playmobil version of that in here. So it's like literally the same background of like the real picture. But it's a Playmobil version of Marty McFly that, well, I was staring at the box like none of this means anything to me, but I'm sure.
And we'll see. Oh, this is so cool. Wow. I pardon me. Oh, there's the letter. Oh, man.
OK, wow. There's so much stuff. Oh, wow.
So this is something you can do before Al gets back to to occupy your time.
Oh, I'm going to it's going to get real dangerous on my Instagram. I'd be posting a lot of weird stuff that I part of me wants to be like, oh, I'll just save this until next Christmas. But I know for a fact I don't have that on me.
No, yeah, I almost did that. But I was like, I can't. I need to send it. I will say if this exists next year, I am not opposed to getting the same gift twice and like reopening everything. So starting from day one. Yeah, I felt that.
I hope I didn't like ruin the first half. No. Oh my God. I'm sending it so like OK, now I literally get to open like fifteen gifts in a row.
Oh no poor my kids dream of the advent calendar. Like you just get to open them all at once. Oh man. Well it's perfect cause half of them I get to open right away and half of them I have to be patient on. That's true.
That's true. That's a great fucking gift. That was that's very on brand. Thank you. Oh my gosh.
Of course I was like, don't tell.
Am I buying this, whoever you are. So thank you for keeping keeping your cool and not giving up the seat. Oh, no, no.
It was a well thank you. Death to whoever brought that into your mind. Well, I'm so happy you like it. I'm sorry it was so frenetic and I was like, bring it to cast.
Well, it was in this like really like wild box too. That was completely dense it up and it's like open at cast up.
That's what I had to make the inside look more like a TV set, as you know, with my vinyl cutter.
It really it was metaphorical for like I'm a disaster on the outside, but on the inside. That's right. Just you wait. Yeah, we had that conversation.
OK, Christine, if you're looking for an excellent holiday gift, I got just the thing, are you ready? Yeah. OK, so it is tough hot sauce.
I see. I should add that to my list. You're saying for gifts for you. Is that what you're saying? List for me. The backup list for me. Also like that extra backup one in your sock for me and then a list for you and then a list for all the other people you love as well.
It's true, I say so, as probably most of you know is what I consider a hot sauce connoisseur.
Now, if I were going to say a hot mess, but yes, hot, hot, hot sort, both of the above in a vent diagram.
But I am I like I like some hot sauce is I'm kind of like so but when I tried this rough stuff up, you will. Oh my gosh.
It was like life changing. I swear. I put it on everything now. So model's almost empty and it's so swanky. You feel like royalty eating out of classy. It's a it's a luxury hot sauce and it makes every meal five stars. It's crafted with a signature blend of red chili, black truffle, organic agave nectar and savory spices. And each bottle chips pristinely package, pristinely packaged and ready to gift it. So there's three different types of sauce.
I have been fortunate enough in my life to try all three. There is the truffle flagship hot sauce, which is like the black truffle hot sauce that started it all. And then there's the hot or hot sauce which has like a hollow peno. There's a whole opinium notes, if you will, has the closest to wine I got. And they have this premium white hot sauce that, oh, my God, I mean, it's one fragrant, too delicious.
So, I mean, it like feels like it doesn't deserve to be in my fridge, you know what I mean?
Like, it needs its own fridge because it's so special. This sounds ridiculous. But truly, if you see it like it is, it is good stuff. I mean, it was on Oprah's favorite things list for two years in a row. So that's how, you know, like this is some primo stuff and it tastes good. They have over ten thousand five star reviews and over two billion followers worth of shout outs on social billion billion with a B.
. I actually bought some for my mom and stepdad and thankfully, they don't really listen to the podcast, so they don't know that.
But I think they're going to really like it. It's a classy gift.
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So you probably know glossier for their skincare products and for popularizing the glowing dewy skin look that Christine just always exudes. But Glassey also creates makeup products, body hair products and fragrance. And Glossy believes in the power of self-expression and personal choice and beauty and beyond.
Truly, it's like the first time I've had like a real routine with my skin care. And I think it's working. So they have a milky jelly cleanser that I use and it's like it really is like jelly. It's so nice. And it has this blend of five skin conditioners and you can cleanaway dirt, excess oil and makeup. It's really nice at night before you go to bed. And then I used to be really bad about taking my makeup off, full disclosure.
And then there's a priming moisturizer that lets you layer and build up. So like however much hydration you need, which for me is a lot. And then they have this baumkuchen which oh my gosh, I think the mango is my favorite. It's like you can put on your lips, on your cuticles. It is a game changer I wear, especially now that I'm in a cold, wintry place right in your skin. That changed my life. Yeah.
Yeah, it has changed my life. I love this stuff. I also like the name Bom Dotcom. I mean, come on. I know it's very clever ball match.com also alisson. So I know you said they use your prime moisturizer, also uses the priming moisturizer, the rich one. So it's like very buttery, which sounds delicious by the way. But it feels like velvety. It's very it's very creamy. It's ultra moisturizing cream that is deeply comforting and packed with nursing shea butter and honey.
And it smells so, so good every time she puts it on and her skin is just flawless now.
So that's the one I use at night, too, because I feel like when I wake up, my skin is so nice and soft and then oh my gosh. Anyway, it's a game changer. I very dry skin and this has really changed my life. I know that sounds dramatic, but it's true because I used to just go to bed with my makeup on and it was not pretty.
And now everyone that I surround myself with, I can look at without like my eyes. I still have to hurt. Yeah, they just look so beautiful. Their skin every special, every time I see Christine, I'm like, wow, your skin is looking real good these days. So so do we. So chewy, so buttery, smooth.
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Can I say one last thing before we start really briefly?
Yes. Like I know this is a long intro, but my story super short, that's a probably first of all, in our first note, be so sorry for the oh my God, our podcast lost you. I don't know what happened. I have. What did we do?
I we really you guys gave us permission to start doing longer episodes and we really ran with it. And we're talking to our listeners like you guys are like, oh no, it's good when you're Dulong episodes and like that was careful what you wish for.
We never thought after the two 100th episode we would ever do an episode longer than that.
And then the very next episode or something was like, just man, oh, bad. Oh my God, it was so long. It must have been JonBenet Ramsey.
Maybe because that was like. It was. It was. Yeah. Oh my God. It was so dark. Like the entire recording. It was. I mean it was bananas. Yeah. It was bad.
So mine today is like ultra short to make up for it. But I just want to make one final note here. Speaking of gifts and mail, is that like so I opened or I started like a a mailbox here in Cincinnati because you and I have one in L.A., but, like, I just wanted to have them here in case I needed to order anything or for you, Sandy, or what have you. And like I didn't it's just on my website, but I didn't expect people to really, like, use it.
But I've gotten some, like, really, really sweet mail and cards. And I think a lot of them are both like one sent to the L.A. one and one say like, wow, they're doing like double the work.
But like I got this, like, hashtag postcard.
Oh, that's fun. And there's stuff I got a while back that I don't have, like, on me right now, but like, I got this little Krampus car, creepy Krampus card from Becca and then, OK, you're going to hold on. So then this is from Laura, little Christmas cards and back like holiday cards.
And it made me feel so special because I'm in my new house and like, I'm getting holiday mail and it just feels really nice. Look at this.
Oh, that is. Yeah. The Constitution it looks like.
Yeah. With a wax seal, it's. Oh my gosh. And apparently Greg handwrote this and then sent one to the L.A. mailbox.
Oh my God. Oh my God. That's a lot of work. Oh my God. It's a really nice card.
And then finally I have two gifts that were sent to me, which I was so shocked that people sent me like little presents. But am I think you'll appreciate. So first off, Ashley made these there's a link.
All those got sent. Not here. I know. They're like I know better than to send it to em. It's a little lemon crochet and a little avocado and they're just the cutest. And the lemon, as you can see, is dirty because he went missing. And it turns out he likes to carry objects around the house like he's a friggin squirrel.
Now, your pets are also falling in love with Lemon. Yeah, he hit it in the fireplace, so maybe he's not falling in love.
Maybe once or eleven. I saw some into my own thoughts into moonshining. He literally carried it into the fireplace and dropped it behind some logs and I was like, where did that lemon go? And it was on the kitchen counter. It wasn't like it was on the floor.
So I were like, build a fire tonight.
Build a fire tonight, please light the fire. And then another Ashley sent me the OK, and this is going to be your favorite thing when it gets under me. No, because because you'll you'll understand in a moment.
So this is sent from Ashley, whose daughter also who's 10 years ten year old daughter, listens to the show, which was super cute. And so Ashley, she was shopping online and and was just listening to the episode where you called me Classy Trash and I found this shirt. Hold on.
This is wearing it today.
Keep it classy and a little trashy. You know what?
That it's wearing the headband. That's what I. OK, so then I was completely correct on my aesthetic then because. Yes, you were. I don't feel as bad anymore because clearly other people think classy trash equals that weird ass headband you've started. It's a raccoon wearing like a bod headband and it says keep it classy and a little trashy. And I was like, Emma's literally spot on, I guess.
Pretty sure I'm a fashionista. OK, now over Tyra Banks. I got something to say. Hang on. Actually, look what you've done.
But anyway, so I just, like, cracked up at the shower and I was like, I have to show em on the show.
So it makes me feel I feel justified and heard and seen. So thank you.
I appreciate I feel acknowledged that like what I had to say actually stood for something.
So it works. Yeah. So and actually hi to you and your daughter who's 10, which is so sweet and I'm sorry if we swear too much.
And anyway, that's all I just wanted to point out everybody and I've gotten mail a couple months and weeks ago, but that I don't have on me.
But thank you to everyone who sent mail.
It's like makes me feel really happy, that's all.
Yeah. Did you want to shout out the address? Oh, no, I mean, well, it's on our website, you can just go there. I don't know about offhand anyway. OK, well, and no pressure to mail anything. Obviously, I just was so shocked that people actually went and found it. Can I do it?
A caveat, though, if it is specifically and that's why we drink related, it probably should come to the L.A. one. Otherwise, next time we're together and can open, guess Christine is going to have to put them on a suitcase to bring them to L.A. for us to open together.
Yeah. So I open the ones that are sent to me because a lot of times they're just like either lemon or like literally people have mailed me like, oh my God, do you want.
Yeah. So I usually open.
So if it's like something that you know. But if it's for the patron video specifically.
Yes. I don't open them on air. So yeah. If it goes to the. And that's why I drink one in L.A. that's where we open our our Patreon fan mail stuff. So yes.
That's cool. Well your turn for. Oh well OK. So here because it's Christmas, I wanted to do a Christmas story, but here's the thing. Really, like after Christmas, you really can't top it. So I kind of just went with, like a wintery situation and which feels a little more non-denominational anyway than like Santa or something. So great. So I'm doing just kind of a winter winter adjacent cryptid.
So this is the the story? Not really. This is information on the Yeti.
So I can't believe you ain't done the Yeti yet. Oh my gosh. Either I also so originally I was going to I was thinking like, OK, well like wintery. Maybe I should do like the Abominable Snowman. Apparently they are the same thing. So yeah, I thought so. I always thought they were different things in my head.
I don't know, I, I mean they have different names.
It's kind of like how Sasquatch and Bigfoot in my head are the same thing, but apparently they're very different. Oh my gosh, I can't keep track of these cryptome.
They're they all and they all basically look the same. They're just different colors. So this is the Yeti slash abominable snowman, which I learned, by the way, I don't know how to spell abominable, and I never will. Every time I tried, it was just a different wrong version.
So that's a fun for me. Just wouldn't disappear. It wouldn't go away. It's like what vowel is wrong here? And then at one point it was abdominal snowman. I was like, I'm done. I can't figure it out. So if you are wondering where have I might maybe seen the idea in my lifetime in pop culture at the very least?
Well, here you have probably seen the Yeti slash Abominable Abominable Snowman on Scooby Doo, Dr Who and Monsters Inc. I think the sequel of Monsters Inc, also the Claymation, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. My personal favorite is the segment on Looney Tunes, where the Abominable Snowman finds Daffy Duck and thinks that he's a rabbit and named him George. Do we know what that is?
No, I don't remember that at all. I'm pretty sure it's like arguably one of the more famous Looney Tunes like clips, if you really what it's like. He remember the I like Daffy Duck is wearing like a little pink hat and it makes them have like almost bunny ears.
And then the Abominable Snowman finds him and is like, I love you very much. I am going to name you George and I will love you forever. And like it's Daffy Duck trying to get away from the Abominable Snowman.
OK, I used to listen. I used to watch it a lot when I was a little kid. So it's just kind of like lasered into my brain. But that's my personal favorite reference of the Yeti. So.
So who who is who is the Yeti?
Christine asks. And here's my answer to that. The Yeti slash Abominable Snowman is the is a mysterious bipedal creature in the mountains of Asia. Usually the Himalayas is where like 90 percent of the stories come from.
The Yeti is muscular, surprisingly dark gray or reddish brown, which I always think of that it is white, but apparently the white is just like snow ice on to the ice saver, which checks out and allow it.
Oh, makes sense for like a creature that maybe doesn't exist. And the creature is known to be anywhere between two or four hundred pounds. It is apparently shorter than Bigfoot. The size ranges from like six to eight feet, depending on who you talk to. OK, and I think it's not too big. I think Bigfoot is on average like ten feet.
So for cryptozoologist yetis are there apparently just considered like the more Asian branch of the Sasquatch family. So even though Sasquatch is much bigger, they think it's probably some sort of cousin of Sasquatch that is only found in Asia. OK.
There when people try to figure out the etymology or like how the the term Yeti came to be, there are a few thoughts. The main ones are that it is a combination of different Sherpa words. Yeti is a combination probably of yore, which is rock or Cliff and then Tet, which means animals like a rock animal. Oh, animal and Sherpa, by the way, is like a group that's native to like the mountains and like Nepal. So Yeti could also come from like old Sanskrit and it could be it could come from the word yak yak or Yorkshire, which means hairy being with superhuman strength, which sounds about right.
Yeah, that one fits. Yeah, it checks out.
And then also a lot of people have also said that it might actually not have been the word yeti originally, but was the word Metty with an M and apparently in some languages or in certain dialects, that means bear so different theories on where the name came from.
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Hello. Hmm, what do I say next, fresh?
Oh, it worked my magic spell, a spell that you use every day.
The the common which and you I might say it's true. So, OK, I just want to say real quick right now that you know how sometimes they do this in places like downstairs cooking for me. I literally sent him down before we started recording to like pick tonight's meal.
But before we started recording Christina, I was like, oh, meeting. Hello. Fresh tonight for dinner. So can confirm. Can confirm. So I just want to mention real quick one that I had recently.
So there are these it's a triple mushroom truffled Yoki.
That sounds exactly like that sounds like Christine Sheaffer, Ali. It is.
And oh my gosh. I mean, thankfully, Bleys and I have like, similar tastes. But I got to say the I like I dream of that stuff, man.
You know, when I made it my favorite thing about us talking about how fresh is how many people have tagged us, like on social media as they're cooking. Hello, fresh. And I've mentioned a lot of times they're like their pineapple tacos and there's, you know, other stuff in it too. But I just think of them as pineapple tacos. Everyone has been tagging of me whenever they cook these tacos from Hello Fresh, they're so good. And also they're Parmesan crusted chicken.
I've been getting tagged and that a lot. That's also one of my favorite meals. Oh, my God. It's so, so delicious. It's really great.
I honestly, it's we're not joking around.
Like, if I could just eat healthy, fresh every day for the rest of my life, I would also because you get to make it yourself. It feels like, oh my God, I made dinner for me and or my family or whomever, but it just feels really special. Anyway, I guess we should talk about hello for us.
If for some reason this is your very first episode of and that's why we drink. Welcome to The Chaos. And let's tell you all about Hello Fresh, which we never shut up about. Hello. Fresh cuts out, stressful meal planning and grocery store trips so you can enjoy cooking and get dinner on the table in about 30 minutes or less. And they offer over twenty three recipes each week featuring a range of flavors, cuisines and ingredients so you'll never get bored.
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So one of the more popular stories of the Yeti, they all more or less date back to like Sherpa folklore. And one of the more popular stories from that time is the Sherpa and the Snowman. And so this is an excerpt from that long ago, there was a beast in our mountains known as the. Tylo Mung, meaning in our language, Mt. Savage, yikes, it's cunning and it's cunning and ferocity, we're so great as to be a match for anyone who encountered it.
It also always outwit our hunters with their bows and arrows. It was said to live alone or with a very few of its kind, and it went sometimes on the ground and sometimes in the trees, or sometimes on the ground, sometimes in the trees. Although it was made very much like a man, it was covered with long, dark hair and was more intelligent than a monkey. As well as being larger, the people as the people came in and more in numbers, the mountain savage disappeared.
But many people say they are still found in the mountains of Nepal, a way to the west where the Sherpa people call them Yeti. In pop culture, the Yeti is just known to be like this big, massive, like shaggy eight man hybrid with huge feet, and some people also attribute like saber teeth, saber tooth saber like teeth.
I don't know how to phrase let's say I was like saber tooth snowman. OK. And a lot of people, again, think that it's white or gray, but apparently we are all wrong there and it is known to be aggressive.
Apparently it throws rocks at villagers and has been known to, like, abduct children.
Oh, I was going to say, well, the Bigfoot is known to throw rocks, but I think abducting children is pretty next level. Yeah.
This one, he really doesn't like to be bothered. Apparently, no. So apparently, according to the Sherpas, this is the official definition or the official description of a yeti is six to eight feet with a cone like Skalp, pointed ears, a harness chest area. I don't know what that means, a human like face and a bad temperament. And they have superhuman strength and the ability to carry off yaks and even abduct children, which I like how it's not they have the ability to carry off children and even carry off.
They switch like abducting children is something humans can do. So I can't carry off a yak like with one arm, but apparently that's less impressive. Part of that, like Sherpas have mysterious footprints in the snow and apparently since they're known to like eat yaks, there have also been a surprising number of incidents or yak killings reported in the area. So I know I don't really know. It could just be like they don't actually link to each other, but they're using it as an excuse for, well, there's clearly a yeti in the area.
The Yeti. Well, here are two things. These are two contradictory facts that I found from different websites. And I don't know which one is true, but I just thought I'd say both of them. I'll pick which one is true. OK, I like that game. Yes. OK, so one of them is that the Sherpa will only show itself to people who believe in it. Oh, like a fairy.
Like a fairy. But also that any man who sees the face of a yeti will die.
Oh OK. Well that seems.
But if that was true then why would anyone want to believe in the Yeti and like ok but maybe. OK, wait here. I got it. Maybe you don't want to believe it, but you do like you don't want to believe there are demons that do. And so the more you think about like a demon, the more likely it is to be drawn to you and then you die.
Or like even people who are like, I don't want to think about aliens because they know I'm thinking about them. Exactly, which is me in the shower every day.
We're not for the second time alone and I want to be abducted by aliens. Please, God, not while I'm naked.
No, I mean. I mean. I mean I think it makes sense, but OK, OK, that checks out. So it could be both. It's just like you're really unfortunate if you do see one.
But also like there's no way to know. Right, because because whoever saw the face would die and they believe it and you see it and die, then it's like nobody can check out your story.
Oh, I wonder if that's a like if that's kind of built upon itself in the legend of like because so few people have seen one. Maybe they just said like, oh, they must have died when they saw him.
It's like the perfect loophole because like you can't prove you can't disprove it. That's your OK, I'm glad we played that game because you really manage that. Well, listen, I'm a genius.
Oh. I can't even say with a straight oh.
So apparently there's different types of Sherpa. One is called the tutee, which they prey on goats, sheep and yaks. And then there's the MIT. MIT might meet MIT and they attack animals, but also sometimes human. So if you're going to humans, so if you see a yeti, you have to hope that you're seeing Judy, because apparently they don't eat human beings. Got it. OK, and the actual the coined term abominable snowman that term came to be and I think nineteen twenty one.
And there was a journalist named Henry Newman who created this term and actually created it.
This is a fun fact, created it by accident. It was like he did not mean to call this creature an abominable snowman. Oh.
So what a very specific word to create by name. To create by accident truly.
Well, so Henry Newman was a journalist and he was interviewing an expedition like an expedition of hunters, hunters. I think they were actually mountain climbers.
Every every story was like either hunters or mountain climbers who all find these HUF.
I'm sure people are in the mountains for some ungodly work. They're doing something there. And it's there's not too much you can do.
They're probably pretty cold. Be on it. And so he was interviewing a group that had just come back from an expedition and they said that they found these really like wildly large footprints. And I guess these footprints were, quote, probably caused by a large loping Greywolf, which in the soft snow formed double tracks rather than those of a barefooted man. So they didn't look human and they were wildly large and I guess the group, they couldn't figure out what these tracks were.
But, you know, when you're climbing through that area, you have a Sherpa with you at all times to guide you through. And so I think that's why a lot of this ends up being like Sherpa folklore, because whatever people see, usually their Sherpa guide that's with them is there to kind of influence what the how the story goes.
God, it makes sense. So I saw these massive tracks and their Sherpa on this expedition said that it was probably tracks from the wild man of the Snows and oh, don't worry, that's just tracks from the wild man of the snow.
It's fine. It's like we've never had to discuss them up until right now. But I'm sorry, did I not tell you we're far from home, but just not like the wild man in the snow is nearby.
He's been here. That's like one place. And I went on that freakin Jaguar. Yes, I was the same thing. Oh, my God. It's like 1:00 in the morning. What was the homeys name wasn't his name or something. His name was. And yes. How wild is that.
Your your maybe not your Sherpa literally, but your guide through all of that. Yes. Who I like how both ends are like. Oh yeah. By the way there's a couple of jaguars don't work. Yeah.
And much, much like my my m this m carried an umbrella around as a fucking weapon. OK, like don't worry, I got someone broke into my house.
An umbrella is one of the top three things I would buy. So I was like pretty spot on. But we got in this freaking jungle and it was me blaze and then an elderly couple and this guy named em and he was like, Oh, don't worry. Well he was like, well, we have to be really careful and quiet and like, I hope we don't see a Jaguar. We were like, wait, you hope we don't see you?
And I thought, this is like an expedition, a nighttime expedition to see a Jaguar.
And he was like, oh yeah. But like, we hope to not see one because they're extremely dangerous and they're always watching from the trees and they're extremely violent. And the odds of making it out alive.
We were like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Why did we sign up for this? He's like, well, you signed a waiver. But the real question, Christine, is why did you sign up for that, though, when you were like, let's go on an expedition to go see Jaguars?
You know me, right? Like, you know that this is a thing where I go, cool, I'm going to do it. And then drag plays into the woods. And then he he would go if someone.
Why have you done if someone was trying to promote to me like, hey, you should come on this tour, we're at night, we go out into the wilderness and we find Jaguars, I would be like, hmm, no thank you really.
I was like, hey, in the middle of the night, there's some like wild pythons and bears and lions and they're all free just scurrying around. You want to take a walk through the woods? No, I didn't know they can see you.
So and he would he'd be like, OK, every time that branch snapped, he would literally be he had to teach us how to form a group so that, like, we would be able to look like a larger animal so it wouldn't attack. And I was like, oh, my God. And he's like, well, don't worry, it will just attack the slowest person. And this elderly couple was like, wait a minute. Like we didn't get any warning.
Oh, man. I was like, I'll probably be the slowest person. Let's be honest.
I mean, to be fair, they would definitely stand a chance of survival because when it comes to like fight or flight, I'm freeze. And so I would just try to draw I would just stand there. I'd be like, you know what, Jaguars? I fucking they literally asked for this. I didn't know my honeymoon and my funeral. We're going to be the same event. But here we are. I know.
And we'll have a great episode to cover.
Anyway, that just reminded me because we literally got out of the Jeep in the middle of the night in this jungle preserve would have been like, you go out and then I would lock the doors. After they stopped, he was like shaking.
He was like really scared. And I was like, why on earth are we doing this? Like, we're more scared than I know.
That guy said, wow, OK, I don't think Blaise will ever forgive me for that.
So, you know, I feel like in your lifetime, there's nobody that knows you, that doesn't forgive you for something. Like there's always something there's something in each of your relationships where people can't quite trust you anymore. And it's only two.
It's the time I talk about the Jaguar and the time that I ordered a large pool to our house and pretended like I had asked the landlord. And then it arrived as the landlord was like, no, you cannot do this. And Blayse was like, you told me, the landlord said it was OK. And I was like, did I? And he's never forgiven me for that either.
You know, I can't think right now of a time where I have lost my trust in you, which makes me more nervous because now every day that passes by, I'm closer to the time when opportunity like I know it's coming.
Like once it happens, I can be like, at least that's done with.
But I can push the envelope a little further with you every day. Every day I live in fear us. It's got to be some Ouija board experience that I've forced you to do.
It's going to be something really stupid that I can confirm anyway. Sorry, I don't know where we are anymore. Oh yes. The wild man of the Snow White.
Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. So yeah. So they were like, what are these, where are these tracks from? And the Sherpa said, I was probably the wild man on the snow, apparently in their language. Wild man of the snow translate translates to meto cangemi Matamata Kong me ok matto means. Unwashed and khong me means Manber or snowman, so on the line, I think originally it was their way of saying, like unwashed man are like Dirty Bear or something.
Love it. Love it. So that was the original phrase. And as so Henry Newman was asking me about this, and when he wrote it all down, he mistranslated it.
So he used the wrong phrases were instead of dirty, he used the word abominable. And instead of Manber, he used the other translation, which was Snowman.
So very specific when it were dirty man to our dirty bear, to Abominable Snowman. Well, I guess mezzo the O and that because h apparently he accidentally put a C where the O is or something. And so he's not very good at this. I c he, I think he was like writing Quick and the Odyn fully clothed in his handwriting. So he later wrote it as a C and then that changed the wording completely.
So wow, how fun. Anyway, that's how the term Abominable Snowman happened. It was how our journalism.
Yeah. OK, got it to me. It makes sense to me too. So here this is another excerpt. This is from a researcher named Myra Shackley who was reporting on two hikers in the forties and when they saw actually multiple Abominable Snowman walking together. So this was this is in the point of view of the hikers. The height was not much less than eight feet. The their heads were described as squarish. And the ears must lie close to the skull because there because there was no projection from the silhouette against the snow.
What an oddly specific observation of like. Well, I didn't see your ears poking out in your shadow, so you must have some tiny ears. That sounds like someone with big ears talking.
Yes. And compensating for their big ears.
Sounds like someone who is used to seeing their own ears in the shadows. They're the shoulders sloped sharply down to a powerful chest covered by reddish brown hair, which formed a closed body fur mixed with long straight hairs hanging downward. It was busy, grubbing up roots and occasionally emitted a loud, high pitched cry and nineteen fifty seven. So I think fifteen years later there was an American writer named George Moore who ah, I don't know if he was actually.
I think he was like a mountain climber. He but he ended up writing an article called I Met the Abominable Snowman, A True Story, and it was about OK, and it was about his own expedition in Nepal.
I love when people write a true story because then, you know, it's based completely in reality on facts. And so this was in nineteen fifty seven.
His name was George Moore, and this is an excerpt from his personal experience. Tell me how much of this sounds like me or how much of this I would describe you as ready. OK, great.
You already know it's going to be terrible already. Yeah. A hideous face thrust apart the wildly thrashing leaves and gaped at us. I shall not forget the faces. Grayish skin beetle, black eyebrows, a mouth that seemed to extend from ear to ear and long yellowish teeth that were nerve shattering. But those eyes, those beady yellow eyes that stared at us with obvious demonic cunning and anger. That's the Christine I know.
The monocle that face also says, which is what I say every time I see you again. Oh, no, not that. Do we face with the perfect eyebrows, weird ideas. We're beginning to force their way into my mind, perhaps, but no, dammit, it has to be. This was the abominable snowman. One thing is certain. Whatever science will someday discover the creature humankind has called the Abominable Snowman is there in the Himalayan Heights. I know.
And I met it there like he had like voice to text on his like, no, but wait, dammit.
It's like not realizing if he could voice a text today, he would also see, like, part of his, like, grocery list in there. He'd be like cabbage. No, no. No lettuce. Lettuce. Oh, no. The Abominable Snowman.
Rhonda, I hate cats.
Or you'd see like his his his own thinking while he's driving, like that fucker came out of nowhere.
So story the most famous Yeti hunter is a mountaineer named Reinhold Messner. Apparently he's like the go to guy. He apparently saw one in the eighties in the Himalayans and he has returned often to try to find another Yeti. He leads a lot of expeditions out there. And apparently it's pretty common for expeditions in this area to be specifically to go yeti hunting or yeti searching. That's kind of fun. Yeah.
I mean, if I'm going to go climb a mountain with potential promise of a cryptid, I'm more likely to climb the mountain for sure. So Messina's theory is that the Yeti is just a combination of a bear and also like the exaggerated folklore about like wild animals in the area. So it's just like a really dramatic bear, like a Gemini. Yeah, both of us with beady eyes. Beady eyes, the yeti has become a symbol in certain areas.
So like it's now become almost a logo or a mascot for the area. And a lot of their companies have to do with the Yeti. There's like a Yeti hotel. There's a Yeti airport or a Yeti airline or something.
Yeti Hotel. Isn't that fun?
Also, speaking of I want to change my honeymoon up, but go there next. Yeah. Now you can basically do the Jaguar thing all over again, except now you're climbing up a mountain.
Speaking of the Yeti Hotel, which, by the way, is a luxury hotel, which I'll tell you, I want nothing less from a Yeti hotel.
So apparently all the other when it's not like in the Himalayas, the the big place that people see, the Yeti is in Russia. And so Siberia has also made very kind of one of its mascots and they have their own museum slash hotel slash park. It's all one compound specifically for tourists to go hunting for yetis while they're there. And I think it's like a Yeti themed, like hotel and museum and shit. And if you were to catch a Yeti while you're there, there is a thirty thousand dollar reward to catch one to catch one, because they're still looking for evidence of its existence.
OK, but don't like heard it. Right. Like they don't want you to like I don't know, there there weren't any real specifics to it.
But I will say that the Nepalese government this isn't specifically in Siberia, but the government in Nepal and the US together have, of course, the U.S. get its fucking hands on this. They have a regulated yeti hunting now where you need special permits.
If you wanted to hunt Yeti's and I assume it makes sense, the US got involved because I'm sure the US is like the only place where tons of people go.
I'm going to go shoot a Yeti now exactly like that.
Chiger tourists are the problem.
Yeah, they were like American tourists who like guns. I have just so they have there's like three rules basically where if you're an American, you want to go to if you want to go looking for Yeti in the area, you have to have special permits because specially because you're not a citizen of the area. Oh, you're not allowed to kill. But I guess you're allowed to shoot and harm.
I don't understand. Oh, and any evidence of a yeti must be handed over to Nepalese authorities. So because I guess they are still desperately looking for proof that this thing even exists. So they're like, look, if you with your guns think you can help us out here, go for it, OK? So far, though, there hasn't been any concrete evidence proving that the Yeti exists. Originally, I was going to jot down a bunch of different situations or a bunch of different events where they thought that they found a lot of DNA or they thought that they caught something.
But if I'm really summing up every single time they've ever caught something, it ended up being like an animal with mange or which is weird because mange means that it's hairless and this thing is covered with fur.
Maybe it meant like it was like patchy hairs. Maybe you're like really tough hair or something.
Yeah. And any time starting in like 2011, they've tried to do like DNA analysis. I know in 2013 there was like forty specimens that were all suggested to be yeti. Whoa. DNA, every single one of them came back is like normal animals except for two of them which came back as literally a Himalayan brown bear.
And then in twenty seventeen and they did the same thing with even more specimens and it all came back as animals we already knew.
I'm glad you didn't tell me everyone, because I would I would have literally got my hopes up about every single one and been convinced I had a hunch that might happen.
So I was like, I'm just not going to even be a tease. But most of the DNA has come back as common animals like literally cows and dogs and things like that. Others have been more specifically different strands of hair that are only found in that area. So it kind of really strongly proves like, OK, they're just bears from far away. And also those bears happened. I think all bears can. I'm not a bear expert, shockingly, but at least these bears can walk on their hind legs.
So a lot of people think the like. OK, so it's just you see one on it. Yeah, that's humanoid. That's it. Looks like it's bipedal. Yeah.
And then any animals that have been actually captured, there was one that was a very large cat which somehow was walking on its hind legs, which is kind of terrifying to me, or a memo which I don't know if that's just a word in that area. And it translates to something else here, but it's basically like some sort of bear hybrid.
OK, people have also thought they'll like one of the I guess at a year like I'm sure hundreds of years ago, if not thousands of years ago, there was one.
So bear that slowly evolved into two different types of bears, and one was like the Himalayan brown bear and the polar bear, and so some people think that I think I'm probably butchering this, but my understanding of it was that those two bears came from the same original bear. And now that those two bears are separate species, if they bred together and had a polar bear brown bear hybrid, it could almost look something like interest in the Yeti.
But there is no official documents of those bears ever having hybrid babies. OK, but a lot of people think like if it's if it's a very specific type of bear in that area, their thought is like, oh, maybe it's like some hybrid of the two that originally came from. That's interesting.
OK, so Yeti's have been seen in Nepal, Russia, India and China mainly. But Nepal and Russia seem to be like the two big ones. And then. I'll get to a couple of fun facts. Actually, I'm going to get to only fun facts now there is there's one guy named Justin Anderson and he made a list called 10 Things You Should Know About Yeti's. And that seemed pretty fun. BuzzFeed Dotcom. OK, got I think Justin was like auditioning for BuzzFeed because here are some of them.
So earlier when I gave the description of like Sherpa's say that it's like so and so tall and it's got this color hair and all this, apparently here's a fun fact. Sherpa's or some Sherpa's.
I also believe that the yeti's feet point backwards so that it helps it walk up mountains easier.
Oh, creepy. Which is just absolutely the worst.
I would think your worst. I would think your knees have to go backwards.
Right. That's just whatever. It's all that's just. It's all so bad. It's all so bad. So thank you, Justin, for that horrifying thought.
Another thing here's my arguably my favorite fact is that apparently Yeti female yetis are known to be very well-endowed in their in their chest area and so well-endowed that gravity is no friend to them and they hang further than their waist, their pushbacks, their pushbacks or so.
Apparently when they run, it is commonplace. I'm sure there's like a whole three reports of this ever existing, but it's apparently so widely understood that female yetis. Like a continental soldier, throw him right over their shoulders and like a continental soldier, oh, my God.
And that's when they run, they just toss them over just so they're not flopping around and weighing them down. Wow.
So if you're a sight if you were to try to outrun a yeti, particularly a female yeti, if you run downhill because she's top heavy, you have a better chance of outrunning.
But also, you have to remember, the feet are backwards and now the boobs are backwards. She's like, this is such a weird she's like emboli. And then one day her head will spin around to just slowly just becoming the reverse of herself.
Oh, my God. Apparently also the male yeti is like the fur on their forehead. If they're running downhill, the wind will put it in their eyes and then they can't see where they're going. So your best chance of outrunning any yeti is if you go downhill.
Good. Because my my chances of running uphill are zero percent.
So it gets that's if my options were I'm on a mountain and a serial killer says, I will not kill you if you can sprint up this mountain, I would say, guess what? You're about to have a really active day because bye, cruel world.
I want a big active day of killing me because I'm not even going to try running up this fucking hill.
OK, next. OK, so apparently in 1974 there was a girl who was grazing her yaks when a yeti attacked her and killed all five animals by smashing their heads in. Yikes. Left her alone. No, knocked her out cold. And later when she woke up and tried to describe the Yeti to people, she said that the Yeti had black hair and not just backwards feet, but backwards fingers.
Oh, God, this thing is just getting worse and worse. Keeps inverting on itself. How how do fingers become backwards?
What does that I guess they bend the other way, which is just the worst.
Hey, guess what? I hated all of that. That was fortune teller.
Oh. Like another one in nineteen seventy seven is apparently there was a a man who was kidnapped by a female yeti and then he reappeared three years later saying that he had had relations with the Yeti. Oh they had twins. And the Yeti killed the daughter but their son stayed in the village. And everybody that you now see in that area is a descendant of that Yeti human hybrid.
That's what he's saying. He's like the grandfather of. Exactly Yeti. Yes. OK, great. Good for you, guy. Yeah. Excellent. Congrats. Sure thing. Sure thing.
Also that man later also reported they were like, so what did you do for three years while you were with the city? And apparently all they ever did was throw rocks and eat frogs.
So, OK, what sounds like a five year old's dream is let me see. Let me see.
OK, so that's just some of them from the the Justin Anderson listicle. But I also want to say, you can see a yeti yourself at the animal kingdom at Disney World on the right expedition Everest originally. So basically you're like on a train, you're climbing Everest. And at some point you see like this animatronic yeti. So it is currently in the last few years, it's just like a stand alone does not move a robot. It used to be an animatronic, but then apparently.
OK, so the arm, the arm used to come kind of swinging at the roller coaster. That's supposed to be like the scary part of like the Abominable Snowman was going to, like, punch you in the face.
And apparently it was like either built improperly, something about the structure where the arm was like slowly, like falling away when it would move. So they just the Imagineer just stopped it all together.
So now it just is sitting there and like almost like fingers kept inverting and they were like, this is too terrifying. Like it was scary enough what was going to punch you.
But when the fingers turn, so some people, when they take that ride, the Yeti is facing them and other times their belly is like facing the other direction. Everything feeling keeps twistin nightmare. But yeah. So apparently you can see a non-moving Yeti on that ride now. And I guess because it's like pre punch, it looks like it's waving with a fist or something. How great for it.
So. Also speaking of Imagineer which by the way, have I ever told you there was nothing I ever wanted more of my life than to become an Imagineer when I was a kid?
You have not. But that does in fact, doesn't surprise me at. Well, you'd be great at that. When I was little, one of my biggest like first of all, there was I had a few big tasks I planned to accomplish when I got to be an adults. None happened.
You radioshow now.
Well, I did when I was a kid. I did want to grow up to be a ghost hunter. So, like, we're almost there.
I was going to say you've done a lot of bullshit that I think a kid would dream of.
Yeah, well, my two big things were I wanted to be a spy and I wanted to be my mom told me I would die immediately. So I gave up on that dream.
Well, she wasn't entirely wrong. I won't even walk walk up a mountain. So she's probably right. And then the other thing is, I wanted to design roller coasters. So when I that's a good one, I thought that was going to be so fun. Like a design. Sets of like amusement parks and stuff and but apparently you have to have degrees in animation and have gone to architecture school and I was like, that sounds like a lot of fucking work.
It sounds like a lot of engineering. Yeah. So like Imagineering. Yeah. So and I remember watching one time like some old documentary about how I designed like the robots for like The Little Mermaid. Right. Or something. And I was just like so enamored with it. Anyway, I will always be jealous of Imagineer because it's like the one really, really big thing I just never got to do.
Well, the only thing we have in common in that respect is I also wanted to be a spy and I carried a notebook around and would like write like Harriet the Spy and would write everything down. But I did work at a company as an investigator. So I guess sort of, yeah.
I imagine a lot of spies actually have a much more boring job than we think. But I wanted to be like the Spy Kids. So yeah, same same time I had, like, all the little guy I had, like all the little gadgets back then were like, you just put your headphones on and you were like a sonar and you could listen to something louder.
And I would spy on my parents. And then I would like the night vision goggles where you could decode things.
Yeah, I had like those journals where it was like invisible, like you couldn't see what it said and you had a certain code that you had to say into it, oh my God, I was obsessed and I was convinced I was a spy, by the way.
I was convinced that nobody even saw me in those night vision goggles.
I know you're just stumbling around. And my dad would be like, go to bed.
Yeah, I would be like spying on my parents and they'd be like, OK, sign the divorce papers.
And I was like, this isn't as fun as Sorry, Mom, it's the saddest. But also be like that was entirely right there a mood.
I felt that it was so real and accurate.
And the worst part is when you take off the spy, the spy thing and you can hear it because they're yelling. So you're like, I don't even need this ETFO. Someone out there hear it through the door with someone out there who grew up in like a really, like, healthy, well-adjusted family.
Oh, Alison is probably listening right now going, oh, that's really so much sadder than you realize. But I'm over here like, I totally get it. Let's say places like I've met your family. I don't doubt this for once.
Anyway, sad story.
You know, you're from a broken childhood when you wanted to be a spy and you would practice by listening to your parents argue, oh, yeah, I mean, it really taught both of us well, I think like in the most fucked up way, but like many girls.
Oh, OK. Uh oh yeah. Animal Kingdom, the happiest place on Earth. Right.
So there's one Imagineer apparently named Joe Road, our HD, and has this, like, personal mission Joe does to teach others about the Yeti in any way possible.
And you can look at him on Twitter. You can find Joe Jarod at Twitter and ask him any question you want about a Yetis, whether it's like simple, yes or no questions or about like the Disney maintenance of that ride.
Is it about just that Yeti or like Yeti's in general?
I'm not sure, but I bet you could take your chances and roll that dice. I have more questions about the boobage. I also have more, I bet.
And I don't want him to be like freaked out by my presence.
You know, I think we as a team could probably reach out to him and just see what he has to say. I think he would probably block us both, but we could try. Wow. That would not be the first time someone blocked us on Twitter, right, Christine? Nope, certainly not.
So move on. On BuzzFeed, there is a definitive ranking of monsters by a BuzzFeed writer named Katie Heaney. And apparently yet she breaks ranks second just behind Bigfoot. And because apparently the Yeti is basically Bigfoot in snow. So love it. This is the quote. I don't mean that to be dismissive. One could also say that the Bigfoot is Yeti without snow. But the Abominable Snowman suggests that it is meaner than Bigfoot or at least severely misunderstood. And it's even harder to see, which makes it the perfect monster, which I think is a fair argument of like, oh, Bigfoot, but even more difficult to track down.
Yep. So more fun facts. Alexander the Great actually demanded to see a yeti when he conquered the Indus Valley and three hundred twenty six B.C., OK. And the locals said that they couldn't give him that experience because apparently yetis didn't live in that low of an altitude. Which way to cover your own ass because it came out of Alexander the Great Concours an area and then is like, here's my one request. And you're like, yeah, no can do me a mermaid.
What do we do? But so apparently they denied that request. Real quick, another fun fact is that in nineteen fifty one, one of the most legendary mountaineers, Erik Shipton, had his own personal collection of photographs of Yeti footprints that he had taken on expeditions. And he apparently all these footprints were at least 16000 feet above sea level. And he sold his personal collection of photos for seventy five hundred dollars.
Oh, and then in nineteen fifty nine. Probably my favorite fun fact is that there was a guy, Peter Byrne, who was visiting this temple. So this is a weird thing.
Apparently a lot of the Himalayan temples are monasteries had random body parts that like on display that were said to be yetis. So like they there's one that is specifically to this day, there's like a skull of a yeti.
And if you donate to the monastery, that's when they'll let you see the skull.
Look that game. That's fun. Yeah. And apparently there's like two or three places, like one has the skull, one has like a hand of a yeti, one has something else. So Peter Byrne go went to the particular temple that had a hand of the like a severed hand of a yeti. And he wanted he wanted one of the fingers and he did what he needed to do. So he brought a double like a whole other finger. He brought a finger with them.
I guess he had a friend who was like a some sort of. Prime primatologist, or I guess there was a finger that this guy offered him and was like, here's a random eight finger.
And so this guy, he somehow had enough time to take off the finger of the severed hand and then replaced it with this finger he brought with him to the temple.
What a jerk. So that way it would look like there was still a whole hand and no one would, you know, would know that he had taken a finger. So he took the finger. Somehow he knew Litoral President Jimmy Stewart at President Jimmy Stewart.
Excuse me, isn't Jimmy Stewart an actor? Here's Jimmy Stewart, a president. What am I thinking? I'm thinking of Ronald Reagan, how he's an actor in a president. Jesus, that's what I was thinking of. Oh, my God. I was like, what is wrong with me? OK?
I was like, I don't want to answer this because we've known that, like, both of us can dig each other into a hole.
No, no, no. Sorry. I was thinking of Ronald Reagan because he was an actor and a president. And then I heard Jimmy Stewart and put both of them in my head together.
I said sorry. OK, so he knew he did know Jimmy Stewart, though. And I guess he also happened to be in town.
But my favorite is that you said President Jimmy Stewart and went, huh, let's not think the like.
I get so confident it's OK. But so I. Yeah. So they happened to be in town, Jimmy Carter and his wife Gloria. And this guy who had the finger was like, oh, let's let's meet up for coffee or something while you're in town with the finger in his pocket. Told them that God stole the finger.
And then basically they said, oh, we're heading to London next after this. And this guy convinced them to smuggle the finger out of the country to London.
And they did it by Jimmy Stewart's wife, hiding it in her lingerie case, which, like the TSA was not going to look through, of course, and our customs was not going to look through. And to this day, that finger is now at the Royal College of Surgeons and the DNA ended up proving it was a human finger. So he literally stole a human finger and then had it taken out of the country. And now it's on display is like a stolen finger that was just smuggling.
And then the last I'm going to say is when you and I were in Boston during the blizzard in twenty fifteen, Boston had its own Boston yeti. And this was just a guy that started trending on Twitter dressed like a yeti, walking through the blizzard. He was walking up and down different streets.
He was helping people dig out their cars. Oh, yeah, I remember that. And he started like people on Twitter, started, like going crazy for the Boston Yeti. And he ended up getting interviewed anonymously because he didn't want to give his idea. If they asked who he was, they said he was like, I'm the Yeti, I'm the Boston Yeti.
And on ABC News, he said, snow storms are funny because a sense of camaraderie develops in the community. For me, I wanted to lend a claw and do my part, and that's the Yeti.
And that Yeti was me. Can you imagine if today this is me outing myself as like I would if I was somebody just in case I'm not shocked, but anyway.
Oh my God, that was a good one.
And I had no idea about like ninety nine percent of that or probably more than that.
Well I'm, I'm glad to have helped. I, I'm sorry about. I don't know, just being wildly confusing, I feel like if that was me just describing the monster and I felt like I was being redundant, I guess I'm sorry.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I feel like a good listicle is always very helpful. Yeah. And also, like, super sorry for saying that Jimmy Stewart was like literally a president.
That was the dumbest thing I've ever said this. Right. Anyone can be. Am I right? Am I right? OK. All right. I have a story for you. This is my my version of our Christmas story, even though I've already done, you know, JonBenet Ramsey, which was technically on Christmas. So whatever. Here's another one. OK.
OK, so this one I wonder if you've heard of it. So it it's weird that you keep having Christmas.
Crimes or something, of course, I know there's a shocking amount of them like us talking about, you know, we should cover at some point in a future Christmas episode.
Is that. The Hollywood murder house that, like the family, died during Christmas. Yes, that's right. I have that bookmarked from like years ago. I think we couldn't find enough information on it.
I think it was like but that was also in like twenty seventeen. So nowadays we probably could find more now that we know how to use the Internet properly for what we call, I think, the Hollywood murder house where like on Christmas Day, like the dad, like it's really fucked up, killed everyone and like you can for a long time it was abandoned and you could, like, go look through the window and still see, like from the fifties, like the presents were still unopened under the tree.
They left everything under the tree. And I remember by the time we looked into it like the one of the grandsons or something had like cleaned it out and stuff. But it's just such a creepy story. Yeah, I will I will try to do that next year. Yeah. OK.
Anyway, if I ever remember which I won't.
So OK, this is a story of Dewey QAM, a.k.a. the Santa Claus burglaries. Have you heard of this.
OK, so it's pretty disturbing.
So sorry to ruin everyone's Christmas. Great.
OK, superduper as I'd like to say. I hope you've had fun so far. OK, great.
So this takes place in the 60s in a mountainous region of Montana in a town called Winberg the 16th.
OK, yes. When President Jimmy Stewart was right exactly a day, you know, and you know, and his off season, he was also starring in Like It's a Wonderful Life, but it's OK.
And like Kerry carrying like human Fakhoury figures are dying in his wife's lingerie.
So do we. Qiam was born in 1945 and grew up on the outskirts of Winberg, this town. He was born as a pretty weak child, as a toddler. He had a bad head injury.
OK, well, when he fell off a sleigh. So we know what happens when that happens.
As a child, I feel like if we really ever had to write notes about like if we had to do real quick bullets on on a true crime, if we just started with head injury, it would answer so many later. I know. Yeah.
I feel like if my child has a head injury, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to even Binayak for some reason in the future. We don't speak. If my child has a head injury, I'm going to text you and be like I needed someone to know and I needed someone to care.
Now you're going to if we're not speaking, you're going to call me and be like, my child is perfect and wants to stay with you for the summer. Good luck, Christine. You can take care of it.
We haven't spoken in a while, but like, I just have this calling that, like, you two are really going to get along.
Yeah. You guys are going to hit it off. Oh, my God. Don't worry. We can trade.
I'm sure mine will be just as fucked up. We'll send each other children. Well, they'll both have head injuries and we just won't have we won't say anything to each other.
And we'll both realize at the same time what happened and our friendship will be reborn, bonded, and it'll be great. Yeah, that's. Anyway, that's our that's the epilogue to the epilogue.
I guess I like that in this story we've created like this horrible rift between us as if like we are not the types to get over a grudge like ten minutes and then or so.
And then our solution to the rift is decades later each other through our own children. Oh, my God, it's pretty good. I like it.
I write that down. I want to write a new movie. Yeah, we'll write some, we'll shop it. We'll do a little man.
Just like I want to star Hugh Grant as my husband. Can I do that. OK, ok.
We both know it's going to be Jude Law and even if it's not, literally, we'll hire Hugh Grant and you'll go, oh my God, you guys got Jude Law the actually the other day I was like insisting that Jude Law was in something in places like Christine that's not Jude Law. And then we looked it up and it fucking was Jude Law. And I have never felt so vindicated. But then the next day we were watching something. And Billy's like, you're not going to say anything.
And it was like a trailer. And I was like, say anything about what you like that Jude Law is in there. And I was like, that wasn't Jude Law. And that was I.
We just we just finished on Marvel Monday. This week we finished Captain Marvel and there were so many times I almost you're so lucky. My phone was busy because I was on Instagram live. I would have sent so many pictures of Jude Law. I'd been like, oh, my God, I've missed you laugh. But I also might have only sent pictures of Brie Larson.
I've been like, wait a minute, is is he in it or something? See, that's what it is. Even though it's a bad guy and that's what it was. We saw that. And places like you're not going to say anything else about what he's like about Julian. I was like, that's not Jude Law. It was Jude Law.
Anyway, this is embarrassing. Shocking. It's just shocking. It's a gift.
It's of anyway, a curse and not a gift.
OK, I wish you knew how many times I think of Jude Law in my life and almost send you a picture of him just just to piss you off.
But then I don't do it.
So I have to tell you about it today. It makes me happy. OK, anyway, back to this horrible crime.
OK, so he had this head injury as a child, not a good sign. And the head injury cause other health issues, including a hearing sensitivity, as well as an extreme personality shift that manifested mostly as violent outbursts. He was also born with a congenital heart. So just all around, like a pretty weak child, unfortunately, his parents died when he was really young, so basically he's just like the life had it out for him.
So he almost had to, like, raise himself. And, you know, this is like in the 40s in this small town. So it's not like anybody really did anything about it. He basically kind of like became sort of like a mountain man, like he raised himself.
OK, so he's had a head injury and then what else happened again so far? So he had a head injury that caused like extreme behavioral shifts and stuff like that. But then both of his parents died when he was really young. So at this point, he's like kind of on his own.
He lived on the outskirts of town, like I said, but he rarely like he never left the area growing up. And he was very, like, antisocial. So he never went in town. He never really interacted with people in town. And it was a really small town where everybody kind of knew each other.
So he was sort of just like the outsider.
He was pretty isolated out in the woods. He lived alone for most of his life. He learned to forage, hunt and even like so. So he was kind of I mean, he really was like a mountain man.
Sure. He was probably the Yeti, actually.
Yeah, actually, he was had he was the wild man in the snow. Wait a minute. We figured it out. A lot of sense.
I have a finger actually of his.
Oh, my gosh.
So people were like somewhat wary of him, but he had been there for so long that they just kind of like, I don't know, ignored it and left him alone.
Sure. But he did have a pretty extensive rap sheet for being on his own. So he had a criminal record that included everything from petty theft, traffic violations, trespassing, fraud, vandalism and animal cruelty all the way to full on armed robbery and vehicle theft.
So he's like somehow still, you know, not evading the law, even though he's, like, evading shock.
I like how they just leave him in the woods and they're like, we don't even want, like, don't invite. OK, so we're going to leave him off the invite list. Got it. Cool.
But it seems like the it seems like the isolation was only making his, like, violent tendencies and anger worse, especially because he had had that like extreme personality shifts and head injury as a kid. So in one winter, sorry, one winter in 1966, things got bad.
Dewey formed a plan.
It's just, OK, buckle up. OK, so a little background, so this small town, winberg, they it was Christmas season, they had this, like, festival they did every year and they would get together at city hall for a dinner party that I guess he was not invited to. And obviously Dewey had not participated in this since he was like a kid.
So for whatever reason, on Christmas Eve 1966, he kind of snapped me in the middle of the night.
He went, I think I actually saw this in an episode on, I think, ID or something. At one point in the middle of the night, he went to town and just, like, fully terrorized this village. Oh, shit.
So remember, this is like a long time ago. So they didn't have alarm systems or anything like that.
So the most up. OK, so this is just all very fucked up, but one of the most fucked up parts. Remember how I said he'd like learn to sew.
So when he broke he started breaking into people's homes and he was dressed as freaking Santa Claus the entire time.
What, like he dressed as Santa and then started breaking into people's homes.
And I don't know if it was like he lost his marbles or maybe he was like, oh, it's like it's Christmas Eve. So they'll think I'm real. Like, I don't know.
I was just hoping only children were home that we exactly like all of their parents are at this like city hall thing and all the kids are home. And he just waltzes on and he's like, hi, it's me. Maybe it worked on at least a one or two houses. Those children were like, holy shit, guess who just came back and the parents were in here.
Will, you're about to. Oh, God. OK, OK, eat your words. OK, so once he was inside, he did that creepy thing.
We always talked about where he made himself at home, you know, like how the original Night Stalker would like have a beer and like eat turkey. Yeah. So he would like go in their fridge. He would help himself to the contents. He would take like their valuables. And then one of the houses, his plan went south. So one of the family members woke up and walked in to find him like sifting through their belongings. And it was a toddler who was a little kid.
Oh, shit. So this little kid walks out and sees him.
And I guess I guess since the outfit worked, because the kid was like, oh, what do you do it like?
Oh, my gosh. Just like thought it was satire, I guess. Which I guess that makes sense, I guess.
But I mean, OK. And not one circumstance. So that's wildly convenient. Like, yes. What a way. So maybe he knew what he was doing but more than I thought, I thought he didn't like killed the kid.
He said he just like I'm Santa.
Goodbye now I go it goodbye up the chimney. I go, oh my God.
OK, so he, he also has had his dog lo with him ok.
Which like poor dog to be even like living with this man he boy he was bringing a dog into these houses was his dog. You for sure. I think. I mean I see the dog was like very well trained.
You imagine if you decided you were going to break into everyone's houses and bring G.O.. OK, well OK. Let me tell you how fucking fast you'd get arrested.
To be fair, I don't even know how to sew anything. So I see this mountain man knew how to train a dog or. Well, he was also like my brigade got in trouble for animal cruelty.
So I don't know, like what the fuck this guy has done. Right. OK, but he had some sort of, I guess, a hold on this dog. But the dog was like, friendly enough. So it didn't, like, attack the kid. I don't know. I don't know how he pulled this off, but he did not kill the child, which is how we know what happened, basically, just to give you, like, some OK, give everyone a little warning to the dog.
The kid gets to meet the dog to imagine if you were the kid and you're like, where's the fucking reindeer? This thing, this dog. It's a German shepherd. This fucking OK. Got it. Got it. You're a fly away on tramp.
It's like growling at you.
But so the guy literally talks to the kid and then he's like the kids like what are you doing?
Or, you know, it's a toddler. So I don't know how well they can speak. And he basically just like talks to her and is like, oh, don't worry. And then like gives her a snack and says, don't like don't tell your parents. And then before she can like, go wake her parents up, he fucking pieces out and like.
Well sure, yeah. Goodbye. I am saying goodbye, goodbye now. And especially like if your toddler comes in and is like I just lost it and you're like OK.
And he had a dog go now for the rest of my life. And now every Christmas morning when our child's like I saw Santa, I'm going to be like, where the where was Santa?
Where did he go? Did he take mommy's pearls?
I don't know why I either did so like like a little haunted Victorian.
Did he take mommy's pearls? Like, in what universe do either of our household pearls. But that's besides it's OK. Well, did he take the stake out of the fridge. Exactly.
The ultimate question did his weird like scoundrel dog just like show up and not bark?
Oh my God. OK, so anyway, now this creep has stolen. All the shit out of people's houses and like even interacted with one of the kids, so he and his dog start to head back home and he is on his way back out of town when he hears a commotion. And he is convinced that, like, they've called the sheriff and he knows that he's, you know, had this like bad criminal record.
And so he's like, shit, I'm going to jail. So he hides out and maybe.
Do you think the kid I told the parents of the parents believe the kid and like, yeah, that's I think that's probably what he at least what he thought happened because he like pretty soon after he left, he heard, like, commotion and he was like, oh, my God, they're calling the police.
Like, I've outed myself to this child. And now. Yeah, yeah. But instead of sirens, he hears them start singing, OK, in this town and they're singing this, like, weird song that they sing every year. That doesn't quite totally make sense to me. But I guess it's maybe it's a Montana thing and the lyrics are like.
What are you going to fucking hold my hand and saying about how much you want to date me or something?
Again, it's even better. I hear the legs fall. Who for? As to who to go Christmas. Come this way. But who are you serious? You don't recognize the song I'm starting to.
So essentially this town is having this Christmas party in the town square despite all of horrible crimes and like some sort of miracle has congenital heart defect. Just sort of. Christine got it.
And it was and his head injury was just magically reversed and suddenly the hate in his heart was replaced with love and adoration.
You just you and you do a good job. Wait a minute. I got way farther than I thought I would. So he and his dog Lo turn their snowmobile around and they raced back into town, still dressed as Santa to return all the way up until now, you have not said snowmobile until this exact.
At this point. I knew that. I knew that I'd be giving up. Are you sure you mean sleigh sleigh stolen goods? So for the first time in decades, do we participate in the Christmas festivities? Even sat at the head of the table for the Christmas feast. Then they all held hands and saying they're weird unintelligible song together and he carved the roast beast the end.
OK, here we are. So I think I heard my skull crack, I got it out of body experience.
OK, well, I feel Wadham wait.
OK, so ok. Phew.
This is really stressful. Stewy Shamsul Dr. Seuss or some shit.
Dewey Shamma is a synonym for wet blanket. It took me a long time to come up with it.
I do. Oh that's funny. So you came up with Suisham stands for Wet Blanket. By the way, this is the story of the Grinch, if anyone's wondering. It was very difficult to come up with a name that wasn't like to like the grump. Like I couldn't come up with anything. So I did wet blanket, a synonym for wet blanket.
Do we seem that genius? It really sounded like a real fucking person.
Oh, good. I was like Bleys, who is this? And he's like, I don't fucking know. And I was like, OK, get the town was called Winberg instead of Whoville.
Cuz when Bergwall and let's see head injury, I just assumed that the Grinch had a head injury.
Montana though, what a weird thing I could have. I couldn't find it. I was because.
OK, so do you know where Huvelle actually was located in in Dr. Seuss's mind. I don't know. On a fucking snowflake.
And I was like, how am I supposed to say that without sounding like totally loony tunes?
Did you about first of all, I would have still not figured out it was the Grinch. I just thought you were literally inside. It's like, oh, and he lived in this town on a snowflake.
It'd be like, I have questions but I'm not going to ask. So I'm a dog.
The dog was Mac, so know the dog is named Lo and that's opposite of Max.
Oh, I'm surprised. I named the dog like many. Yeah, I was scared that that was too spot. I was, like, so nervous you'd figure it out, like, right away. Hey, guess what? I absolutely didn't.
Even when you sang, I was like, this sounds oddly familiar what's happening here.
Halfway through, I was like, oh, fuck, I'm going to, like, not have seen the Grinch and been like, literally. What are those sounds coming out of your face?
If you told me, like and then all of a sudden Taylor Momsen shows up and she's like singing about where Christmas is because she's lost it.
And I would have said, OK, really all those Grinch movies I only ever saw, like the 1966 movie. Oh, really look.
So oh, I was going to say at the end and Matthew Morrison is now traumatically scarring people. But have you been watching those clips?
Because it is out of this world. It is the it's like now become a kind of a little bit of a porno.
It's just horrific. If you don't know, Matthew Morrison has really sexualized the Grinch in a way I didn't know was possible.
Yeah. Renee said her her Instagram has now turned into a Matthew Morrison hate account.
So I don't know if that means anyone, but. Oh, and I said he learned to sew because he sold his own, like, Grinch costume.
I said, OK, so his entire criminal record.
Basically, petty theft, traffic violations with that fucking sled, trespassing, fraud, trying to be Santa.
Wow, you really this you did it was the Weixel. I mean, you really took the after two hundred plus episodes of, like, having to like be really, like, critical in your thinking and like your your fact checking.
I think you saw a creative opportunity and sprinted with I aggressively was like I going to, I'm going to put all of my like this is where my script writing comes in.
And so vandalism obviously and then animal cruelty because I watched the movie from sixty six and I'm like, he is not nice to that dog.
He's certainly I remember him being real fucking awful to you.
Whips the dog. I'm like that is not OK. So I kept that and now it makes sense why that dog was like so submissive and like yeah I'm not barking to children. Oh my. Yes Christine you're so.
Anyway, this is just horrible.
This is how this is how I imagine you felt after the escape room where I'm just like, you are dangerously good at bamboozling me. OK, do you know why this happened? Do you have any fear?
Right. And we say something about this.
Last year we said Rahmi, OK, we said in an episode of November twenty nineteen, remind us remind Christine to do the Grinch and pretend like it's a real story. And then one of us said like like oh and we can pretend she has an enlarged heart.
And we were like going on and on. We had a whole thing about it. And then I said, but don't remind m just remind me because I don't want em to know. And I have gotten I mean the amount of DBMS and tweets and emails and that's why I was so frantic about like doing our Christmas episode, because every time someone tweeted, I really hope M doesn't see this, I don't see any people tagged you in it.
And I was like, hello, don't hug and be like they're not supposed to know if I saw it.
It completely clearly did not process in my stupid brain.
It's so funny because in my head I was like, oh, I'm going to. Nope, because it's all I've been thinking about. All everyone has been asking me to do for like the last three months in October is when people started being like, just a reminder, just a reminder. And I was like, oh, so not a few.
I'm glad that's over. Good. I'm glad that you have less stress. Now, that was OK.
I'm just really wowed by your artistic license there.
You did a really good job.
And I felt that because I was like, what kind of crime? There's not even a crime. I was like I wrote the first bullet is this is a very disturbing story.
But then, like, nothing disturbing you, you had the nerve really to to even be like, oh, I think I saw this on Discovery or something because I said he snapped and I was like, OK, how do I look?
I saw an episode of Snapped.
You have said you watched it on fucking Netflix and you wouldn't have really been lying. I was trying to come up with a way to say it.
I saw it on TV without being too sneaky.
But I mean, I have a headache. I was I'm very impressed with you and also saddened by my own mind.
So I tried really hard to until how did you to write that?
Because you didn't have to really research anything. You had to like write that. Yeah, I wrote I watched the movie a couple of times and then I researched the hell out of the stupid story, which is how I know the Whoville is on a snowflake, which I'm like, that's not helpful to me whatsoever. Then the source, Dotcom, got like 50 percent of their yearly business from me for looking like a wet blanket.
Also like the fact that you could not say the most fun fact of all that they lived on a fucking start.
Like, I know I was so annoyed. I was like that. I need. Huh. Yeah.
So I just I put in a blank and as we did, I was like Montana. I don't know, I made up, I made it.
But I think maybe had you said the like you dress the dog as a reindeer or something that I would have caught on.
Yeah, I, I took a part, I took some things out that I thought would be too. I really feel like I should have caught it. By the time you said a dog came with him, I was just like, can you imagine if someone as loud as was going to help you sneak in somewhere?
Because I know I kept trying to be like, yeah, yeah. Anyway, there was a dog. Let's not talk. Oh, well, well, thank you for going with me on that ride.
Thank you to everyone who kept reminding me. And sorry if I just frenetically ran through that because I was so nervous.
That is now my favorite episode I've ever done, because you never get you never get to really be creative with yours because like with the with like my end of things like paranormal wise, I can almost kind of like write the story because there's just like, oh, this happened, then this happened, then this happened. But you usually have to be so strict with your, like, chronology to things. Yeah.
I guess I'm so happy for you. That had to have been really good things. It was very fun. I was I was very excited to to maybe I should start doing more fake crimes too like that.
Oh my God. Your poor anxiety, every time you're going to be like this is fake.
And I'm like, no, this is an actual homicide. And oh, I haven't thought of that. But this would be I mean, think of the possibilities like I mean, I think of the possibility. Yeah.
Anyway, thank you everybody for letting me do that. I was a little con. Well, thank you, I appreciate it. I had that was I had a lot of fun at the end knowing that, like I could finally breathe like this, the first sigh of relief I could ever have on the show.
You were very you were like, I think I know what's happening, but I also don't amuthan also you.
Well, you really threw me when you said you were about to sing and I was like this fucking woman again every step, every time I thought you'd have figured it out right before that.
So I was like oh fuck no. I have to tell you something started singing and I was like OK, maybe there was like a play at the city hall like a little bank employees. Some of the bullets were like, I guess this was their Christmas tradition every year. Oh my God. The musical, if you will.
Oh, boy. Well, perfect. What a great Christmas episode.
In Wennberg and Winberg, wow, on a snowflake or a lick of flames or something, I'm not sure what the opposite is in a fireplace where Mooney put all of his other one ambered ash or something.
Oh, well, thank you for that.
I'm now terrified of your mind once more.
But what's new? Oh my God. It goes both ways now with the escape room. Also, this is the last episode of 20/20.
My stomach dropped. I'm so happy that it's so anticlimactic. It's like I'm I can't wait to never record another 20/20 episode, but also like me to.
So I guess at least we didn't end on like a real murder. We ended on like. True, a fun classic story.
Well, last year we apparently made a lot of predictions about twenty. Twenty. That's right. And they always refused to do that. They went real well. Yeah.
So people still quote us about that. So maybe when we make predictions for twenty, twenty one, we just say hopefully it's a lot fucking better than twenty, twenty one because like this one.
But we are also not getting our hopes up because we don't want to jinx it like we did last year.
Please God let something normal happen in twenty, twenty one.
We were literally joking about like a quarantine at the end of twenty nineteen like are you fucking kidding me. I don't know because you like taught me the word quarantine and we were like, how crazy. Can you imagine if that happened nowadays. It's like full on.
We were, we were really fucking up with our twenty twenty talk so I'm just going to let twenty, twenty one do its thing and I'm not going to try and like put my opinion on it and see what happens.
OK, how about when something really, really, really cool happens in twenty twenty one you'll tag us about this episode and be like just so you know it's twenty, twenty one right now and I'm listening to this episode and something really cool happened and then. And you reversed it. You reversed the course. You put me on all of us and then people will just tweet us good news about their lives in twenty, twenty one.
So we. Yes. And this is me saying you're welcome. Yeah. For that you are. I saw it coming. I said it. We did. I fucking said we're doing it again. Oh, my God. We're doing it again. OK, let's at least hope the like it's not as bad as twenty twenty. That's what I'm let's hope let's leave it a little bit.
Let's just fingers crossed. OK. OK, thanks anyway.
We'll see you in twenty twenty one everybody.
Oh my God. This could be the year we meet our kids. Wait a minute. OK, goodbye.
Here we meet our kids. Oh my God Em. Every year. I can't wait to say it on twenty twenty two also. All right.
You better get cooking then. Who. And that's why we drink.