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[00:00:00]

Did it do important Halloween message? We have a very exciting announcement, which is that we are having a virtual Halloween party.

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Who really is his vocalised with you? We are. I appreciate our voices do best when we're in sync. Yeah, we're having a Halloween party. It's going to be October 19th and it's going to be at six p.m. Pacific Standard Time, 9:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. And we're going to be dressed up in costumes. We're going to do some maybe some spooky crafts, maybe some spooky games, some spooky snacks. And we probably are going to be streaming ghost adventures.

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So a lot of it is TBD, but that's how we like to do it, because we like to show up and just like create chaos as we go.

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I say all these things, but we have planned none of it yet. But that's the fun. And the Mystere. Yeah. So we're going to have a blast. It's going to be a party of two and it's going to be a virtual if you want to be a part of it and watch some of that spooky stuff, then you can join us on our Patriae page, a patron dotcom slash podcast.

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And it's a no no go for it.

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We will be streaming it, I think, via YouTube through our on site. So if you are Patrón, you will be able to join us.

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And we're very excited for this exclusive event.

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And I will be in L.A., so we'll be in the same place. So it won't be you know, we won't have the usual concerns of two people trying to figure out tech.

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It'll just be in the same room to maybe maybe we'll go trick or treating, which is me asking you for candy and you just give it to me. We'll just I'll just stand in the closet and you can keep knocking on the door.

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Anyway, I haven't told Christine yet what my costume is, but I'm very excited about it. So if you would like to see what that is and you can join our patron and be a part of the stream that night. That's right.

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It is again Monday, October 19th at six p.m. Pacific, 9:00 pm Eastern.

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So join us at Patrón Dotcom Slash podcast is here on October 19th, almost.

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Hello. Happy Halloween. How are we? Surprise, I'm a fox. Now, I don't know why it didn't cross my mind that we should dress up, I thought about surprising you with Marty McFly, but I feel like I've done that a million times and our friendship. So I was like, I'm not going to do it. And now you're dressing. I'm not. And now I look.

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Well, it was a half an hour before we we started recording. I was at Target and I thought, well, I didn't really plan anything for our surprise bonus episode. Everybody, it's a listeners episode, by the way.

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So stick around after we kind of blab for a second.

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But I found this little Fox outfit and I was like, that's so cute. And since this tale is technically supposed to go on my butt, I think. But I was like, I don't want to really show my butt on our YouTube channel. So not today, maybe next week. But so I tied it to my head instead. So now it's part of my hair extensions. I love it.

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I also didn't even realize it was a tail. When I first looked at your head, I was like, that looks like it's supposed to be there. But I, I appreciate the dress up. I feel bad that I didn't do anything, although this is a special episode anyway, because this is the last time you're going to see me with this long of hair probably ever again, because tonight Alison is cutting it.

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So I heard that's the case on your Instagram. I was like, wow, this is news. This is exciting news. And it's going to be I don't know.

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I don't know it. Oh, yeah.

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Apparently a lot of you have heavily suggested I get a mullet, even though I did another video where I was like, OK, I hear your cries for the mullet. That's not happening. So please send me other suggestions. And then everyone still said Mullet. So, yeah, apparently that's what people expect. It's not we are going to get. So it's going to be a surprise to all of us because even Alison doesn't know how this is going to go.

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I think it's going to be very fun and I'm excited to watch.

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We also have a very exciting Halloween announcement, a very exciting announcement, and that's why we are releasing new merch.

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We have been wanting to do this for so long. And again, we've heard your cries and we've heard our own cries because our own privately wanted merch for so long where we've wanted to, you know, up the ante at least. And luckily, guess who is free but Kirk who remember Kirk for work work.

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Kirk, who did the logo when we were like so broke that we were like, can we give you a six pack in exchange for our logo?

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He sent it for us and he did our here for the booze tour with the little ghosty guys. So he's done just about everything. And we called him. We were like, people are screaming for new merch. We need your help. And so he has come up with some pretty interesting stuff. We are going to release it on Halloween. So excited. Get ready, get your wallets out and then keep them open for like two weeks and then you can order things.

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We are so excited.

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Yeah, we're hoping to get it out by Halloween time. So I don't think we have the exact release date yet, but we're hoping to get it out. It's Halloween season.

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We've been told that it's doable. We've been told that Halloween is a realistic timeline. So fingers crossed everything goes smoothly. And if not, it will be put out immediately. Yes.

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Follow us on the podcast on social media. We'll post it as soon as it's ready. Yes.

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And oh, another. Yeah. Oh, you tell this one.

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OK, so if you have not heard yet, we have a newsletter which is divin.

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It's brand new. So good. But it's, it's actually very fun to read.

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I know sometimes those newsletters were like, oh well maybe I'm not going to get anything out of this. Every section is fun.

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Yeah. Our friend just writes it up and she's just a gem and like has come up with so many creative ideas and we have like podcast recommendations, like Little Fun Facts Josko Scope of the Month.

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So sorry, I'm now you go ahead again.

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Also we were thinking for Halloween, we would like our we would like the next newsletter to have to show some of our favorite little furry friends that are not. And and although maybe they're included, we I haven't discussed that with you yet, but we would love to do a Halloween costume contest for our our favorite pets. So, yeah, I would like to if you plan on dressing up your animal, which we heavily encourage and you want to send a picture of it to, and that's why I drink at Larcombe, then it will go in the running for our costume contest and we'll be posting a few of our favorite pictures, maybe all of them.

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Who knows?

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Who knows where. We're very excited, but they be in the newsletter. Yes, it'll be in the newsletter. The winner will be in the newsletter. So basically what you have to do is sign up for the newsletter. I don't know if we know how are we like submitting them? Is it through the email?

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I assume it was so the email, if you just click through the in the subject line, if you just say costume contest or pet costume contest, always easier for EVA to look through or even for, you know, just to help look through to object. I think that would be kind of the easiest way. And as long as you keep your animal safe, don't put them in compromising painful situations.

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I know that dressing. Your pets is often controversial, and I don't want anybody to be like putting their, you know, really heavy things on top of their cat or like wrapping their animals in something that stresses them out. So don't you know, don't don't traumatize your animals, please, in the process.

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But the only trauma your animals should go through is being cuddled and loved too much in this life. Yeah, so. And winning a huge, awesome contest, right.

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Yes. For us only your poor animal. Yeah. So those are two fun things that we're currently doing. We might be doing more things wink, wink, nudge, nudge. But until then, these are the two things that we're going to follow us on social media, because I feel like if anything changes, that's where we're going to post it. That's like the most accessible way for us to give you information. Yes. So, yeah. So, I mean, that being said, we have stories for you.

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And Eva picked them out this week and she literally was like, do you guys mind if they're really, really, really scary?

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And we were like, the goal? Yeah. So she was like, OK. And basically warned us and said, like, these are real heavy and like crazy and creepy.

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So she said the phrase fucked up a few times and yelling about these. So I'm looking forward to it. I hope you're enjoying that. We are doing for the sake of spooky and at least we're throwing in a little bonus surprise episode for you. So if you had ran drive and that's why I drink episodes, Fearnot, here's another. So also Snapp's to evea for finding all this.

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Yeah, we're like eBay. Find us more. Staat, we want you to do more.

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Hey, remember that time that you read one hundred stories a week, read two hundred this time. OK, so here we go to celebrate spooky season. I hope everyone's having a happy Halloween.

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I certainly am. Christine, during everything going on in the world, there has been nothing I love more than a little retail therapy and I feel like everyone's been doing a lot of shopping. It's kind of the only thing most of us can do these days online, go online. And that's that's where today's sponsor, honey, comes in.

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OK, so, honey, folks, you have got to check this out. Honey, is the free browser extension that scours the Internet for promo codes and automatically applies the best one available at checkout.

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It's basically your online shopping best friend. So in those late hour nights when Emma's buying things like fish flops on the Internet, you got hunting and helped save us money without having to do anything. It's amazing. It is amazing.

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And here's how it works. So you get honey on your computer for free and in two easy clicks by going to join honey dotcom drink. And then from there, when you're checking out, when you're checking out on one of it's over thirty thousand supported sites, honey pops up and all you have to do is click apply coupons and you wait a few seconds as honey searches for coupons for the site.

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And if he finds working codes, it'll apply the best one to your car and you'll save the most money that they can find for you. I use honey literally every time I online shop, which, as I was saying, is like my new favorite pastime. And it's like if I'm on a different browser or like using Blaze's laptop or something, I'm like, I can't buy anything on this computer because I need to go get honey and make sure I'm getting the best price because it's like it's so easy.

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It's like a free tool that you can just click and like, things get cheaper. It's really incredible. It's so fun to know that you can save money and also buy products at the same time. Right, exactly. It's best. Both worlds and Honey has saved it's over 17 million members, over two billion dollars and say, oh, that's crazy.

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So, I mean, honestly, honestly, everything tech, gaming sites, fashion brands, even food delivery, honey works all over the place. And I use it for everything I'm buying online. So it's simple. If you have a computer, honey should be on it. It's free and works with whatever browser you use.

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You can get honey for free today. Join Honey Dotcom drink.

[00:11:09]

That's join honey dotcom drink. As a very sweaty person, I believe performance matters. I've wanted to make the switch to more natural products for a while now, and I've been trying in all aspects of my life. But I needed to find a deodorant that would help me smell fresh all day and also perform well. And that's why I want to recommend all our listeners check out native deodorant.

[00:11:33]

Listen, we've talked about Native a million times. A lot of you have asked an Instagram and Instagram lives how we feel about native. We truly do smell like that. If you ever meet us in real life, you be like, wow, what's that smell? We'll say it's our armpits and it's cucumber.

[00:11:46]

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[00:12:01]

That's right. So aluminum actually forms a plug in your sweat glands to keep you from sweating. And that's why no native never uses ingredients like aluminum, parabens, sulfates or talc. But switching to an aluminum free deodorant doesn't mean you have to sacrifice on odor protection, as hopefully you've smelled in a VIP meet and greet. Native native will keep you smelling, feeling and feeling fresh all day long.

[00:12:23]

We've talked about some of our favorite scents. Mine is always going to be the coconut and vanilla. That's just my default smell I prefer. But they have over 10 cents, including rotating seasonals. They also have. I know cucumber mint I think is yours. Christine, your favorite. They have lavender rose. They have citrus and herbal musk. I mean, they and they all smell great. To be fair, I that's right.

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[00:13:16]

The first story is from oh guess her fucking name.

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No it can't be another Megan. It is Megan with a with a weird a that does not need to be where it is anyway. Megan goes by she her they which is super fun. I love when people pick a for themselves. That's fun.

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Thank you for normalizing pronouns Megan. I'm sorry. Me again. Your subject line is who doesn't enjoy a double murder that cancels Halloween.

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Oh my goodness. OK, so this is what they say. Hello. You will definitely probably need some. Want a drink after this one. Cheers me again. I like where this is going. I grew up in a small town in Ohio. Logan, Ohio.

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H I oh I've heard of Logan you know. What do you know L.O. Guyenne OHIP. Oh I don't know quite where it is but I've heard of it.

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Well it is about forty minutes south of Columbus.

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Oh that's literally very close to me then. I think it's commonly referred to as the Hocking Hills.

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Oh my God. OK, what.

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That's literally where I'm going where Blatner are celebrating our anniversary. Oh great.

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I hope you go to this exact location. Holy shit. That's that's why I know Logan because we literally just booked a fucking cabin there.

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OK, well now everyone on how we go.

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Look, no, no, it's not on Halloween.

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It comes out or we're going like two days on the thirteenth on our anniversary, two days before this episode airs.

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So like, oh, OK. So it's already been done. It's already been done. Well like but also happening. But I don't like that. Yikes. OK, so on your way there, listen to my sultry voice telling you about it's my anniversary. That's what I always do. I was there to ruin your wedding was my favorite activity. OK, so. So she's lost their lives in Hocking Hills, which is mostly known for its amazing hiking trails and scenic landscape.

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Yeah, any who in 1984, two young locals named Christine and Blaze Stopping were reported missing.

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Fuck. The mothers of the local teens weren't too worried when the teens did not show up at curfew. They both thought that their child had fallen asleep. But the other person's home. It was not until the next day when neither teen was home, that the families began to worry. The families called each other to check in with one another, and after realizing that neither family had seen the teens, both families immediately began looking for them and finally decided to report them missing.

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What was found. What was found next would change the small town forever. Oh, Christine. Oh fuck. Sometime that October, which is what it is, Roberto.

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Ten days after the disappearance of the teenagers Annette Cooper Johnston and Todd Shultz.

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Oh, says torso's.

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It really it was like, oh, you were somewhere going like. I didn't realize, like, how close to home this hit. Oh, my Annette and Todd's torsos were found in a secluded cornfield. That's the most Ohio thing I can imagine. Oh, no. The remainder of their limbs and bodies were later found in various parts of the Hocking River fuck. So don't go swimming there when you're there, because I will not.

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The first suspect was Dale Johnston, who was Annette's stepfather.

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Oh, no.

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Rumors spread that Dale was jealous of Annette's relationship with Todd because Dale wanted her all for himself. Vomitus us. Yeah. Dale Johnston was convicted of the murders and sentenced to the death penalty. Johnston was released from prison in 1990, but did not receive his declaration of wrongful conviction of conviction until 2008. And this came out after two men admitted to the murders.

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OK, so I take back what I said about Dale Johnson. Sorry. Oh, no.

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As a result of this murder, Halloween was cancelled in the year 1984 and still to this day takes place before dark because the urban tale is that if you're caught trick or treating after dark, you'll be murdered and chopped up and thrown into the river.

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Oh, you can find a lot more on this case if you like. Oxygen even shot buried in the backyard bonus episode. This is the story of the Hocking Hills murders. Stay safe, wear a mask, wear a mask and don't go trick or treating after dark. Or you may get murdered.

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And that's right. Again, that's really wild because like literally the week this comes out, I will be in Hocking Hills in Logan and pretty like, listen, even if not great, you did that.

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You did that. You didn't even know you did that.

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You didn't even know. Oh, my God. I don't love that at all. I do.

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I think it's great. I mean, I know you do, but I will say I have.

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So, you know how I have like this like deep seated fear where I look under Hotelbeds, know me and love and don't know about that. Last year when we were on tour plays got me for I think it was Christmas or something.

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Got me this like alarm for hotels where you put it against the door. So if anybody like opens the door, it sets off this like blaring alarm clock travel alarm.

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And I'm like, like most definitely taking that with me on this trip because now I'm really sincerely freaked out.

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Well, if you find another petrified fruit under the bed, you'll know it's a sign. Oh, no. So I have a an email here, and this is from potentially anonymous, it seems. I don't want to say their name just in case.

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And they say, hey, y'all, listen, I'm late to the game, but I'm on episode 83, so I'm catching up. I really hope y'all still do listener stories.

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Well, now we apparently do multiple listener stories. Welcome to our first ever second of the Month listeners episode. It's like they knew. It's like everyone knew except us.

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But you know what else is new? I actually had been skipping over the listener stories in the beginning. I don't know what people a lot of people do that.

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These are some of my favorites personally. But OK, I actually had been skipping over the listener stories in the beginning, but I recently listened to the one on the upside down man and Beck and oh, my chills.

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Those are the ones where you were like, Yeah, now I should get into it. Yeah. I guess these are also very scary. I guess they're traumatic enough that I should get into this.

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Yes. And now I must go back and listen to all the listener stories that I skipped. My favorite thing now is how you all react to the stories being that it's the first time you have read them. I really hope my story gets picked for one, because it's a literal wild ride. And for two, I can't wait to hear reactions to all of the fucked up in the story. So fingers crossed, buckle up and let's crack into it.

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I love it.

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First, I want to say that thinking about all the details of this night has me anxious, sweaty palms, chest pains, all of it. Okay, so picture it. Halloween night, full moon, the whole thing.

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Five friends piled up in an SUV heading out for some wholesome, haunted fun in the forest, as you do, wholesome and in the forest.

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I see those words don't go together.

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Bankhead National Forest in Double Springs, Alabama, to be exact. Look it up. It's creepy af to begin with, there's a few little fun haunted stories that we were set out to explore.

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Our main event for the evening was to go up to Aunt Jenny Johnson's grave. Of course that's wholesome.

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Yeah, OK, there's a link there. Basically, people killed her husband, then her and her children hunted down those men and got their revenge.

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Who like spy kids.

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Whoa. Just like spy kids. So wholesome. Just looks like it's, you know, totally worth a read.

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So anyway, we all pile up and head out there having a great time on the ride up through the hills and trees. You know, the stuff horror movie intros are made of.

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We get there and no one else is around, which I thought was strange with it being Halloween. Surely we were not the only ones out doing spooky shit.

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Anyway, we park on the side of the road and get out to start the short trek into the woods back to her grave, which is literally in the woods. See you not far from the road, but enough to be completely surrounded by trees.

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So we're walking along with nothing but the moonlight because apparently we were too dumb to bring flashlights and we start hearing sticks break around us, one in the distance here and there.

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And at first none of us thought much about it, even made a couple jokes, thinking it must have been deer running away from us until the clicks start getting louder and closer and multiply.

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Oh, the sounds were surrounding us and closing in on us fast, as if something someone was running at us from all sides. And then there they stood right in front of the grave, dressed in a black cloak and the creepiest red mask that I can still see in my mind to this day.

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And then I lifted the mask and it was Christine, are you having fun without me? I want to join. And then another one behind her lifted his mask, and it was Junie Cortez of the Spy Kids.

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And Christine said she broke her rope coming down from the tree like a spy kid. I didn't know how to do it. So she gets up. She's stuck in a tree, probably just standing and staring into my soul.

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A couple of my friends giggled thinking, Oh, sorry, are those the friends you giggled that Joe would certainly react this way to a demon at a grave.

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I think a couple of my friends giggled thinking, OK, it's Halloween. You're just out here trying to scare us and have a little fun. Good one, but then it wasn't funny anymore there this thing is standing and staring at us relentlessly, and all the while the sticks are breaking and leaves moving all around us as if there are more cloaks and masks out there just running circles around us. But we never once saw them. The noises were so intense and sounded so close, but there were no bodies visibly moving.

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We all had survival mode one on one and put our backs to each other and just stood there for what seemed like an eternity frozen until someone had the sense to say, Let's get out of here.

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Great. That person was definitely not me.

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That person was that person was me 10 minutes ago, by the way, I would have been like by God, a blast. So we all took it as fast as we can to get back to the vehicle.

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But the things in the woods are following us. We're on the path and they're in the tree lines on either side of us running the same pace and they start screeching.

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They're making these psychopathic laughing and screaming noises, truly the stuff of nightmares. We break the tree line and touch the road and it's dead silent.

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This whole time, I kept thinking it really was going to be like someone that like like some teenagers showed up in a costume. But that's OK.

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Now we're on it suddenly got like way worse.

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It got it got uncute, you know, uncute real fast, like nothing ever happened.

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No one on the road again and nothing but crickets. We run and jump in the SUV and waste no time getting the hell out of there. But then we see headlights following us out of nowhere and coming up on us quick. It was a four wheeler with two individuals on it, dressed all in black. They followed us down the hill and then took a quick, sharp left turn, went through a field and seemed to disappear.

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We were all trying to process what the fuck just happened. When someone looks over and says, is that the four wheeler again?

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Of course it was down in the valley. There are open fields to where you can see the roads. And they were following us parallel to where we were going, just watching us. This went on for about twenty minutes. We were just sitting ducks because every road we turned on, they could see us and they followed.

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Finally, they backed off and rode back up into the woods.

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We were all shook off, but we started it trying to just say, OK, they were trying to have some fun. They got us took it to a little too damn far, but they got us. We decided not to let it ruin our night. So we started to our next stop, which is a spot in the road that supposedly you put your car in neutral and something pushes it up the hill. I've heard of that.

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I think so. Yeah, I've that's a few like weird haunted hills where like there's like some weird, weird magnetic draw, like, yeah, it's very hot.

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There are a few places like that from the link.

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It says it's called Legend of Henry Hill. Oh OK.

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So anyway we go do that, the car pushes up the hill. Yeah. Yeah. Small beans compared to what we just went through. Right. We all decide, OK, we're just not shaking what happened. We are going to have to head home. Mind you though, we are still in the forest and it's creeping up on midnight full moon, shutting down on the dirt roads and fields that surround us when I tell you what I saw next still haunts my deepest nightmares.

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I'm not even lying. Oh, in the field to the right of us, there was an oak tree huge.

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And just there alone and under this tree was parked a blue astro van.

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About the time I start to point and say, what the fuck is up with that? The guy driving says, what the fuck is up with that thinking? We are seeing and talking about the same thing I say. I know, right? But no, he sees a huge tree branch down in the road. The road that we are on has no surrounding trees.

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The creepy oak tree about fifty yards from us is the only one around me.

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Yet there's this huge tree branch that looks like it's been placed in the middle of the road directly past a small bridge covering a creek. The branch is so big that if we were to have not seen it and run over it at a good speed, we would have wrecked and or had damage or seeing. It means that we have to stop the vehicle and get out to move it out of the way, which is exactly what the driver does.

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Oh, he stops the car on the bridge, gets out, and all of a sudden his girlfriend screams bloody murder.

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Oh, shut the door. And here they come for cloaked masked figures holding knives like.

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Come out from under the bridge and head for our door handles. Good night. Absolutely not.

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I think everything above that, the guy driving was a quick thinker because he was able to lock the doors and maneuver the car around to move the branch out of the way, enough to get around it, around it.

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As this was going on, the knives were tapping on all four of our windows that look that I'd be you know, I would.

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That's when you need Christine Sheaffer, because she's going to reverse drive that puppy out. She's going to be flying down the highway backwards.

[00:27:36]

I feel like that's like my moment to shine where I'm like I've never been allowed to drive over people before.

[00:27:41]

And now I can like it's like I've never been allowed to be a klutzy driver. But this is my ride. Just like specifically if you guys don't know Zanon.

[00:27:51]

She was. She was part of our spaceship video and she just fucking nailed the sucker.

[00:28:01]

I tell you what. Oh, boy.

[00:28:07]

Oh, yeah, evil, not evil, WSDOT.

[00:28:11]

Wow. For the zero would have been like, what was that like? She was looking for her final time. You're right. She wouldn't have even CDU had driven her right over them, right over the bridge to save the day.

[00:28:23]

Thinking nothing like nothing is different about the day. Would have been looking for her, for her frappuccino dropped on the floor.

[00:28:30]

And then when she got up, everyone was screaming. She's like, what?

[00:28:39]

OK, OK. Right. So people are tapping on the car with the knives or fucking knives, ok.

[00:28:47]

Tapping on all four windows and they start beating on the doors. As we pulled off a hundred miles an hour down the dirt road, we went and never looked back. I've never been back to that forest and I always say I never will. We spent the entire ride home trying to figure this shit out and trying to blame it on each other as a prank since we had this outing planned for a while. But honestly, none of us knew what the fuck was going on.

[00:29:09]

A couple days later, we heard on the news about cultlike activity taking place in the forest. We all like, yeah, no shit. So I don't know what their intentions were either, we were all just their fun little game and they were trying to scare the fuck out of US success or they were trying to kill us and sacrifice us up on the Hill and we survived, which makes me sound really cool.

[00:29:30]

Well, I imagine like I imagine that the log is like part of their trek, like, you know, how they always say, like if all of a sudden you have, like, egg on your windshield. Have you heard that before? Yes. Yes. If all of a sudden there's like egg yolks, like don't try to clean it off with your windshield wipers because it'll smear worse than you have to pull over and then you're trapped and someone's going to like you.

[00:29:50]

Yeah, I feel like that's what I've heard, that that's what a log would be.

[00:29:53]

Right. Like they knew you couldn't drive over it. They knew you had to get out to move it. Yeah, they knew like the driver had to at least get out. And then you make makes you vulnerable for sure.

[00:30:02]

Either way, definitely an unforgettable night and the moral of the story is stay the fuck out of Bankhead Forest and also stay the fuck up like in your car or in your vehicle. Lock your doors. Don't get out. That's my story.

[00:30:15]

That's especially when we're in a pandemic. Like, let's all just stay home. This is the perfect reason to not go get murdered in the woods.

[00:30:20]

You know, I mean, we finally have a good reason to not get murdered in the woods. OK, it says, I love you guys and listen to you every day while at work.

[00:30:27]

I hope to come to a live show someday. Keep up the good work. Sincerely, Survivor. Wow.

[00:30:32]

Wowza Zanon. Got it. Last seen on Zina's friend, who was like, what have you put me through?

[00:30:40]

You know, I feel like everyone, nobody.

[00:30:44]

I feel like maybe we have five percent of our listeners know what the fuck is going on is if you're on paper, you can watch the video.

[00:30:52]

You don't know. It's not Xenon like the sequel. No, no. It's a totally different man. Made Christine made creation and made by Christine.

[00:31:04]

It's a human slash fox made by Christine. It is just the most wild alien I've ever met in my entire life.

[00:31:11]

She's such a gem, though. It's never boring, never dull moment with Sinan, though. She's like all of all of our worst qualities. Condensed until one little construction paper.

[00:31:22]

No, you're right, because it's like all our basic bitch tendencies mixed with all our, like, clumsiness and like carelessness, just like mixed into one.

[00:31:32]

Did you ever watch the 40 year old Virgin? Yes. You know how there's that scene where he's hooking up with Leslie Mann and she drives home and she's like, that fucker came out of nowhere, but she's like just crashing into, like, cars that are not moving that xenon as a human being.

[00:31:47]

You're right.

[00:31:47]

She's like these fucking cloaked cult figures came out of nowhere. Watch out.

[00:31:53]

OK, anyway, thank you. Zanón and also Survivor. And thank you, Survivor.

[00:32:00]

Hello, fresh fresh fish, but it still works like a charm across from across the country at the works, try it with your friends.

[00:32:10]

I will say honestly, like, this is no joke right now. Downstairs, Blaze's cooking. Hello, fresh for me while we record my hello first.

[00:32:18]

Got here today. So as soon as we're done recording these, I'm going to go eat. Hello Fresh. I was so excited because I got to pick which one I wanted as I went upstairs and then he's going to make it for me anyway.

[00:32:29]

Hello. Fresh offers convenient delivery right to your doorstep for easy home cooking with the family. They have easy to follow recipes that are really quick to make simple steps and pictures to guide you along the way. So they cut out stressful meal planning and grocery store trips so you can enjoy cooking and get dinner on the table in about 30 minutes or less with Hello Fresh.

[00:32:47]

Hello Fresh offers so many delicious options every week to help you break out of your recipe rut and try new things. There's over 90 percent of ingredients that are sourced directly from growers to ensure the freshest recipes are delivered to your door. So you know what you're putting in. Your body is good and it's tasty and take it from us. We're going to eat it tonight. It is.

[00:33:06]

I will say last night specifically, I ate the shrimp spaghetti with a kick which had like you could you could decide how spicy you wanted it.

[00:33:13]

Oh, you're so good like Bleys and I were. We I don't know what we're going to do. Try and recreate it, maybe order it next time it comes around. But it was so, so excellent. And it's easy because they deliver proportionate ingredients. You're not over buying at the store, which is a burden on your planet, on the planet and your wallet, quite frankly.

[00:33:33]

And the packaging Halifax uses to ship your food is also almost entirely made from recyclable and or already recycled content. So, again, you don't to feel bad about ordering the helo first to your doorstep. It's really kind of a Win-Win situation. Hey, does it get better? Yep.

[00:33:52]

Tell me more. Hello. Fresh is committed to making fresh, delicious food available now more than ever and has taken extra steps to get its employees and customers safe, including contactless delivery, tamper proof packaging and team and team member wellness checks. So you also know that when the food is getting made and delivered to you, it's the safest way possible. So exactly. Go to hello fresh dotcom slash eighty drink and use code eighty drink to get a total of eighty dollars off across five boxes including free shipping on your first box.

[00:34:22]

That's hella fresh dotcom slash eighty drink and use code eighty drink to get a total of eighty dollars off across five boxes including free shipping on your first box.

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[00:34:59]

So right now, better together, we have Boiro Future Do and Bam Dotcom, three of my favorite products, not just from glossy but of all time in general, are now available in one set so you can get a glowing, polished look in just three steps. I love the boy brow. Personally, I love all three, but I really love the Boiro. I'm wearing it right now.

[00:35:17]

I was going to say I was going to say you your first of all, your eyebrows look poppin. And second of all, this is not the first time we've heard you talk about boy bra. You actually true love this product.

[00:35:27]

So it came up kind of like it took over my entire sink. And I'm like now I just only want these specific products. They have forcedly tinted shade, so there's black and brown black. They now have Orben and clear. So if you're looking for a more natural look, you can use that and shape your brows into place with the soft, soft, flexible hold that doesn't stiffen awfully.

[00:35:45]

And there's also future dew which instantly gives that post facial glow and bam, dotcom leaves lips looking smooth and hydrated. So very kissable. My my love.

[00:35:55]

I love that stuff. There's this really good mango one that I'm obsessed with that I now take everywhere in my purse anyway, get the entire Boiro and future too.

[00:36:05]

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[00:36:22]

So here is our next story. This is from Caitlin, who uses she her pronouns. Thank you for using for normalizing pronouns. And the subject line is the real nightmare on Elm Street.

[00:36:32]

Oh, OK. Which is interesting because did you know fun fact, the house that they used for Elm Street is not actually on Elm Street is on, I think Nicholls Canyon Road.

[00:36:42]

Fun fact on what, Nicholls Canyon Road and Hollywood. Oh, I don't even know what that is.

[00:36:48]

I'm really bad at geography. I don't know if you know where do you remember where like that mega church mosaic is. Yes, it's literally in the neighborhood right behind that church. There's the house.

[00:36:57]

That's where it was filmed. Oh, my God. And I think the house across the street from it is the house they used for Friday the 13th, which is really OK. So that's a haunted street. Bob Barker also lives in a house on that street.

[00:37:09]

It's a really solidifies it as fuck. It's a weirdly famous street spay and neuter your pets and also enter them into our Halloween and also don't go to sleep.

[00:37:22]

OK, The Real Nightmare on Elm Street. Hi, I'm Christin. Even Alfer in Petrified Friends. I've been listening to the show for a little over a year now and I'm finally all caught up. Woop woop. I've been.

[00:37:33]

You say that or did they know it's right in them. They're like, that's a new one. I don't know.

[00:37:38]

I just throw in my own sound effects now. Oh, I guess so. You're fully artists. Exactly.

[00:37:44]

I've been wanting to send in this hometown murder story for a while now. And with Halloween coming up, I figured it was the perfect time warning. I apologize for how gruesome and graphic the story is in advance.

[00:37:55]

OK, and then a sad face emoji Boniva warned us about. I think this is the one Evea warned me specifically about, because earlier this week I called her about something stupid and it was in the middle of her reading the story and she was like all frazzled.

[00:38:09]

She was like, I'm sorry, I'm reading something really fucked up. You'll love it. Oh, that's.

[00:38:14]

And she literally texted us like, is it OK if there's some really fucked up stuff in this? And we were like, I think so.

[00:38:21]

By the way, I haven't said this yet because if you're not watching the YouTube, you don't know it. But I am very much drinking wine right now.

[00:38:27]

So I am I have a fall candle lit and I'm drinking wine and I'm dressed as a fox matrixx.

[00:38:33]

I was at a coffee going to Hocking Hills and going to get, you know, my torso murdered and, you know, drive around in your UFO isilon.

[00:38:43]

So this story takes place in 1982 in my small hometown of Holliston, Massachusetts. The small town is home to many families as the school system is known to be one of the better ones in the state. Kenneth and Mary. Jesus, this last name is going to get me Cygwin. It's spelt kind of like Segway.

[00:39:01]

So it's a oh, no, it's like it's like Cygwin.

[00:39:06]

OK, Kenneth and Marianne figured this would be the perfect place to start their family and decided to buy their first house together in Harlesden on Elm Street, Kenneth and Mary, and eventually had a son and daughter, Danni and Amy, and were living the family, typical family life, until Marianne made a comment stating that she was unhappy in the marriage and was thinking about leaving Kenneth.

[00:39:30]

The statement infuriated Kenneth and he decided. He would take out revenge on not only Marion, but the children as well. Can I say something like really quick, my friend Marion just literally texted me, as you said, that on the screen a message from Marion.

[00:39:45]

And I was like, holy shit, did the tech really did the text say, I'm thinking about leaving Kenneth.

[00:39:53]

I found this really cute house on Zillow. It's on Elm Street. Oh, I don't even know what it said, but I definitely don't often get texts from her. So I was just like, oh, that was really creepy. Sorry, go ahead.

[00:40:04]

Tell her to look out tonight or synchronicity.

[00:40:07]

So on April 28th, 1992, while Marianne was out of the house, Kenneth drugged Danny and Amy, who were seven and five oh oh now with sleeping pills.

[00:40:20]

And while the kids were unconscious, he took them into his car and drove them to a small pond in a town about 20 minutes away where he sorry, slit his son's throat and his daughter's throat and their wrists.

[00:40:34]

Oh, my God.

[00:40:36]

Kenneth dropped his children into a shallow part of the pond and covered their bodies with sticks and leaves to try and hide them in the shallow water. After hiding the bodies, Kenneth returned to Elm Street to find Marion sleeping in their bed. He took an axe upstairs to the bedroom and bludgeoned Marion to death in her own bed after killing Marianne. Kenneth took her body to the Sudbury River and dumped her body into the water. He then returned to Elm Street, flipped over the mattress where he just killed his wife and staged the house to look like a robbery.

[00:41:08]

Marianne's body was quickly recovered from the river the next morning, and the police immediately. When questioned Kenneth, he described a robbery that occurred in the house where he was beaten up, his children were drugged and kidnapped and his wife was bludgeoned with an axe.

[00:41:20]

How fucking stupid do you think people are? Like, you can't just do that and expect to fucking get away with it? It is shocking the confidence that killers have, right? Especially in this scenario.

[00:41:31]

It's like, yeah, someone like drugged, specifically drugged my children, drove them in my car to the nearby lake. It's right. Right. Anyway, well, hopefully Kenneth gets caught at the end of the story. I imagine he does, since Caitlin happens to know the whole story.

[00:41:49]

Unless Caitlin is a fly and she happened to be on that wall that night.

[00:41:53]

Let's see.

[00:41:54]

Oh, yes. OK, the police believed the story until they contacted the school and heard that an anonymous call had been made stating that kids would be absent for school that day. So fucking stupid.

[00:42:07]

So he literally called ahead. It was like they're not going to be here. It's like he t he tried too hard and then he shot himself in the foot. Exactly. Exactly.

[00:42:15]

The call was traced back to the house on Elm Street where their family lived. And Kenneth was then arrested and found guilty on three counts of murder and sentenced to life in prison with the possibility of parole, which has already been denied once.

[00:42:27]

So fuck you, dude. According to David, I found this. I know this is a long and grotesque story, but I also found it interesting as there was a bench dedicated to Danny and Amy outside of our elementary school. But I never knew their story until I was a bit older. Well, thank God keep imagining a kindergartner and being like, oh, this is for the kids whose throats were slit.

[00:42:48]

Yeah. By their own dad, God damn it.

[00:42:51]

My co teacher's husband grew up on the next street over and remembers playing with Danny as a kid and learning about the story when he was way too young.

[00:43:00]

OK, so what. So that other weird true crime events happen or have happened in this small town, but nothing really compares to what we always refer to growing up as the real Nightmare on Elm Street. Sorry this was so long, but I always enjoy hearing other listeners hometown stories, so I had to include mine. Stay spook licious my dogs. Kaitlynn, wait a minute.

[00:43:22]

Woop, woop, woop. Oh my gosh, that is horrible. Yep, it sure is.

[00:43:29]

I love that you called even in the middle of that. And my friend Marianne texted me, what is going on? It's really strange, right? It's delicious. My dogs.

[00:43:39]

That's what I meant. She also lives in Massachusetts.

[00:43:41]

So really strange. Just oh, that's really, really, really, really, really fucking sad.

[00:43:48]

I'm glad to move on quickly with haste. With haste. OK, this is from Emily.

[00:43:55]

He's this she her pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns. Emily, the subject of this email is don't send your kids to sleepovers. Great.

[00:44:05]

Hi, Eva and Christine, the kitty Kevin murder story that Christine read in Episode one ninety.

[00:44:10]

And your vows to never let your kids attend sleepovers reminded me of a story my mom told me from her childhood who she went to her friend's house for a sleepover one night.

[00:44:20]

You remember that? Sorry. You remember that Ketti cabin one's right murder. Yes, I do. She went to her friend's house for a sleepover one night.

[00:44:29]

I believe she was about fifteen years old and probably had plans to get into some. Sort of trouble, as she usually did, her friend's parents were unfortunately going through a contentious divorce and her dad was not living in the house at that time. Sometime during the evening, the doorbell rang and the friend's mom went to answer it.

[00:44:45]

On the other side of the front door, it was the friend's dad with a loaded gun threatening to shoot.

[00:44:53]

I slowly closed the door between us and collapsed on me like, sorry, not interested. You don't have to shoot me. I will fall over on my own.

[00:45:04]

Yeah. You've already done your job. Yeah. Oh my God. Yup. The friend's mom screamed at the kids to run and my mom and her friend bolted out of the back door and threw neighbors yards.

[00:45:15]

My mom recalls being so scared that she wasn't fully paying attention to where she was going and she ran directly into an engram pool.

[00:45:23]

That's so good. I hope.

[00:45:25]

I mean, can you imagine that's the worst part of a scary movie when you're in water and trying to escape some. I think that was literally in the strangers. I was like, that sounds like something you've seen before. The way you just said it, I was like, yeah, because I've seen it so many times.

[00:45:39]

I think it was the strangers are the purge or something, but it's like you're trying to escape, but you're already slowed down so much and someone just is standing there just watching you. You're like no matter where you go, I'm going to get there faster and you've already lost and just give up.

[00:45:53]

You're like I mean, for lack of a better term, like a sitting duck, you know, you're in the water like you're stuck. Oh, my God, that's horrifying. Also, like, I'm glad she could swim, presumably, because can you imagine, like, you can't even swim or something and you're, like, stuck. Oh, God.

[00:46:06]

I don't even know if that's the direction the story's going, but if I ever fell into a pool when I was running away from a gunman, I'd be like, well, it's too late now.

[00:46:13]

Like, why even I this is it to do. And then what do you get out? Your clothes are all wet, like you're just running with wet.

[00:46:22]

OK, sorry we're only halfway through this.

[00:46:24]

OK, after getting out of the pool and running down the street a little further, they were picked up by police officers. Luckily the friend's mom had been able to talk the father down and call nine one one. The cops rat my mom up in a blanket and called my grandparents on hearing what happened, my grandpa stormed out to his car to get over to the friend's house in an attempt to confront the other dad, but was luckily tackled in his driveway by a family friend.

[00:46:51]

Instead, my cool, calm and collected grandma went to pick my mom up. The friend's dad was arrested and my mom, her friend and her friend's mother were all safe. I do think that this helps explain why my mom insisted on meeting all of my friend's parents before I was allowed to go to their houses when I was growing up. Very smart. Yup.

[00:47:10]

Also, I love that. Like, I feel like that would be Bleys in the situation, just like fly off the handle and be like, oh, OK, I'll just go murder him myself.

[00:47:19]

And then someone has to be like, stop, you know what I mean.

[00:47:22]

Like that classic like quote unquote dad move of like great. Well now I will murder you with my.

[00:47:27]

Oh look, I've magically become a murderer.

[00:47:29]

Yes, exactly. Exactly. Fortunately, Blaze is not a murder, to be clear. Not that we know of. Not that we know of anybody.

[00:47:38]

TBD, TBD, fortunately. OK, says fortunately, the story has a much better ending than that of Sue Sharp and her children's. Also, I figured that since October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, this would be a good time to remind everyone that along with everything else happening in the world right now, we should also set aside some time to acknowledge domestic violence survivors and be a voice for victims. I'm so happy to have found this podcast thanks to my boyfriend's sister, and I look forward to listening every Sunday.

[00:48:05]

Thanks for listening, Emily. Wow, that's beautiful.

[00:48:08]

And the I didn't I didn't even, to be honest, realized that it was nationally National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Right.

[00:48:16]

I didn't either. But I will say, like, I know there's there was a lot of talk when quarantine happened.

[00:48:22]

I think you and I talked about this maybe where people were suddenly, you know, inside with their other users.

[00:48:29]

And if they if if they were in an abusive relationship or like on the verge of it, then suddenly it was exacerbated because they couldn't leave. Right. So, yeah, I think that's a really important thing to take note of.

[00:48:41]

So who I am so glad that your your mom was OK.

[00:48:45]

Yeah. The end. Wow. And yeah, I also think your mother has earned the right to be wary of every parent now dropping children off at home.

[00:48:56]

Also you I hope you never asked like begged your mom for an in ground pool because I bet she'd be like, no, you're my mother.

[00:49:04]

I didn't have to ask. She got one. No.

[00:49:06]

Oh, I met Emily, who? I met Emily. Emily, and I am Emily, whose mom, like, literally almost got, you know, died in grad school. That makes more sense.

[00:49:16]

I was like, I don't know why you're asking, but, you know, I'm going to clarify real quick. Don't don't get it twisted. I know Linda had a pool.

[00:49:23]

Don't don't even worry. If she could have ten pools, she would. Yes.

[00:49:26]

No, I'm I really hope you also did not ask for a pool and then, like, fuss about it when you were a kid, although your mom had the perfect excuse to be like, nope, exactly. You can't argue with me. Oh, all right.

[00:49:38]

This next one is from C.J., whose is she? Her pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns. C.J. says, I was almost kidnapped on Halloween.

[00:49:45]

Oh. Oh, my God. Let's go. Let's go.

[00:49:48]

C.J., I don't know how to start this, so let's just crack into it. So it's great. So let me take you back to the twins. Ha.

[00:49:57]

I remember the good old days. I can't remember the year, but I was in middle school. And for the sake of keeping this spoofy, also I was thirteen. Any who back to back then I thought I was so HLC because I listen to Good Charlotte.

[00:50:15]

Yeah me too. I thought that too. And I also wore Converse. I miss Good Charlotte, actually. I did, too. They were good. I feel like no one talks about them anymore. No, if you missed out on the good Charlotte years, you really. What was the other one? Damn. Now I'm simple plan. Simple plan. Well, simple plan. Yes. Who are the ones where they were like actually like a religious alt rock group.

[00:50:37]

Oh oh oh oh. Oh my God I, I love them.

[00:50:41]

And then I remembered they were religious and I was like yes that was always a thing because I had them on my iPod and Rene would listen to them and then I ended up deleting them and she got really mad.

[00:50:50]

But that was the word kings in it.

[00:50:53]

It had a K in it. ReliOn K were like, oh my God.

[00:50:57]

And Clay in it. Oh, what a great band that they did have a couple of fucking bangers though.

[00:51:06]

I got us. We should get jerseys because we make a good team.

[00:51:09]

OK, ok. And then, and then also a list of even more bands. But I'm just going to for the sake of ourselves, skip over it anyway.

[00:51:17]

Clearly we were badasses is just like you. Right. I was so emo about my dad being the old school single dad. He wouldn't let me wear all black and wear heavy eyeliner and let me just be my true self. That Halloween, my dad actually let me paint my nails black, but and put some makeup on and I got to go trick or treating with some friends.

[00:51:39]

After a night of Halloween shenanigans, I was dropped off at home and at the time we lived in what I would best describe as a triplex.

[00:51:46]

Oh, there was one big house in the front and two smaller apartment like homes in the back. The landlord lived in the front with his family, my dad and I, and one and the other was a constant rotation of people moving in and out, current inhabitants being a couple, maybe late twenties. I walked down the dark driveway to the back and made it to the home, to the house safe and locked the door and got ready to call it a night.

[00:52:11]

I was in the kitchen with the lights off and I when I heard a knock on the door, OK, no, my dad answered and when I looked over his shoulder, I saw it was the neighbor.

[00:52:22]

I was like, whatever, I'm going to go listen to Evanescence and cry about that guy that doesn't even know I exist.

[00:52:28]

Is this my my my soulmate from middle school? Probably.

[00:52:32]

Is this a actually like a like a diary entry? I'm confused.

[00:52:36]

Is this my live journal that somebody printed out and sent to me?

[00:52:39]

This is saying go. Wait a minute. My God, what if you even just found my life journal?

[00:52:43]

It was like, you know, this is the most fucked up episode you've ever read.

[00:52:48]

In an instant, I felt myself being pulled out of the door and a scuffle ensued. Oh, shit. My dad fought the guy off, pushed my way and said, what the fuck is wrong with you? And I made eye contact with my would be abductor and started sobbing. I feel like once I could see it in his face, he had some sort of realization. Maybe he fucked up, I don't know. But that realization on his face could be explained a little later.

[00:53:13]

I clearly remember bringing my black painted nails to my mouth and shock and then crying hysterically. It's funny the details we remember. I can still remember the smell of plastic makeup that I bought at Walgreens to go with my dead zombie cheerleader outfit, even though I'd already wash my face. I don't remember what happened after that, but my dad told the landlord and I never saw the guy or his wife again. Apparently the guy thought that I was his wife and that he was dead, that she was cheating on him with my dad.

[00:53:41]

So it may have been the oh shit. So it may have been that she was going to get abducted or he was like looking for his wife and thought it was her and like almost charged at her.

[00:53:50]

He just like grabbed her.

[00:53:52]

Yeah, it was his wife and was about to like, fucking take. Yeah. Holy shit.

[00:53:56]

Oof! Either way, wife looks like a dead cheerleader.

[00:54:00]

So this is really my wife also wears a lot of black and listens to Good Charlotte from Walgreens.

[00:54:08]

Anyway, that is CJ's story. So thank you.

[00:54:11]

Wow. That's terrifying. I don't know and I don't know what was going to happen to you, but I don't like any of them. Yeah, I don't I'm glad it didn't happen. Right. I have to say also, I love a bet.

[00:54:22]

After that Dad was like, see, you never allowed to paint your nails black again. The one week I fucking let you be your true self, you almost get kidnapped.

[00:54:31]

This is what happens when you listen to too much Evanescence. All right.

[00:54:35]

OK, now I have a story for you and called Chased by a demon dog who. OK, and this is from George. He uses he and pronouns. Thank you, George, for normalizing pronouns.

[00:54:49]

George says Hello Christine and baby go Johnny Boy, which is one word and very precious.

[00:54:54]

So sweet Eva and everyone. My story involves my country, the Philippines. This happened in high school for some context. I live in a province where I have to walk to school, which takes thirty minutes. Riding a vehicle walking would take at least an hour on my way home.

[00:55:11]

The places go school, town, woods, my place. Great.

[00:55:16]

OK, got it. So we're. Order of the fence, you're literally on the side of the other side of the woods where you have a whole town between you and school.

[00:55:25]

Right, right. We had to go home late, there was an event at school that required us to stay and decorate and rewarded our extra credits and me and my friend who got average grades took the opportunity.

[00:55:36]

We left at like six p.m. My friends were asking me to hang with them and drink, but I refused. Since I wanted to head home and rest. I didn't call any relatives to pick me up since I didn't want to bother them. Big mistake.

[00:55:51]

I passed the town. It was night time. So the guard dogs barked behind fences, wary of strangers.

[00:55:56]

But something seemed off OK as it reached the forest.

[00:56:01]

I walked down the path and I heard footsteps. I had earphones in, but it was so loud nails scratching on the concrete path.

[00:56:09]

Oh my gosh. I mustered up the courage and turned on my flashlight.

[00:56:14]

I looked around and behind me was a huge black dog.

[00:56:19]

Shut up. An escort to hell. Yeah, he thinks me thinks I never saw this dog before. Me and my friends were chased by dogs as a game. It's sort of a Filipino thing since most dogs are usually unleashed. I like how the dogs are in on the game too.

[00:56:35]

Like they're like tag. You're it. Like, let's play, let's play. It's recess. Let the dogs out. Yeah.

[00:56:43]

This dog was reddish brown and rather scrawny. At first I thought it was a stray, but a closer look. It didn't look like it had fur but wrinkly human skin.

[00:56:51]

See its long snout was moving, sniffing me and its eyes white not from the flashlight, but pure white.

[00:56:59]

Huh.

[00:57:01]

And its mouth was just black, dripping black like a crayon, just like it had eaten crayons and was drooling crayons.

[00:57:11]

God knows how to make things extra spooky. Well, it makes me think of a time when I was a little kid and my dog had gotten into the crayons and was like drooling rainbow.

[00:57:20]

And I was like, oh, so I hear black black, drooling black. And I'm like, OK, got it.

[00:57:25]

Crayola. I got, I got, I got to eat the Crayola.

[00:57:28]

Well, one time when I was little, my this weird man named Russell who sometimes came to our house, taught me how to make cups out of construction paper, but I made it out of black construction paper and started drinking it like water out of it.

[00:57:41]

And he even though oh no.

[00:57:43]

And it just like my teeth, everything was just like black ink from the top of the paper, from the paper.

[00:57:48]

And he was like, you're supposed to use like white paper, not like construction paper.

[00:57:52]

You it. Oh well anyway that man Russell just like showed up sometimes at my house. OK, great. So George says and it's teeth.

[00:58:03]

It wasn't even teeth, it was just sharp things emerging from its mouth.

[00:58:09]

It was staring at me, smiling with wide eyes. I don't know what the actual fuck I was looking at. I simply said, Shoo, I have no food.

[00:58:17]

Sorry, I love it. He's like, I will apologize though.

[00:58:25]

And I like him. He seems like this.

[00:58:26]

You must only be like food reacts like it's like I know what you want. I walked quickly. At first I thought maybe a new dog breed and hopefully it's just my tiredness that made me hallucinate. Then I heard the footsteps again. I dare to look back and shown the flashlight on it and it was stalking me like a dog. It looked like it was smiling good bye.

[00:58:48]

Then the footsteps picked up the pace.

[00:58:50]

I did too. And then it did as well.

[00:58:53]

Huh? I started running, praying for once that God, please don't let me die by this thing. Basically the worst day of my life.

[00:59:01]

The thing was closer and it started to howl. I turned around and it leaped onto me. Its body easily knocked me down.

[00:59:08]

It was barking at my face and it's black drool, tar shit splashing at my face.

[00:59:15]

I tried to push it away, but to no avail. I had no choice but to fight back. It reached for my pocket looking for anything to stop this thing. I found my pen, grabbed it and stabbed it in the eye.

[00:59:29]

Oh, you gotta do what you gotta do.

[00:59:31]

Soon after followed the most terrifying sound ever. It whimpered like a puppy, but slowly morphed into a deep man's screaming goodnight, then howling.

[00:59:43]

I quickly pushed him off and ran. Luckily, it didn't chase me anymore. I arrived home and didn't tell any of this to my family.

[00:59:50]

What the hell are they going to do? Right me like that sucks. I just went to my room and slept well.

[00:59:58]

Sorry. The next day I told my friends about it, but none of them believe me, because why would they write a demon dog chasing you through the woods and you stabbed it with a pen to defend yourself? Yeah, ridiculous. Whatever that thing is, it never bothered me again, but I never walk through the woods alone again. Sorry if this took so long or wasn't even scary.

[01:00:19]

Well, it was certainly disturbing. So it made even fucked up list. So don't worry. All right. Very. What the fuck moment. Thank you so much for all the work you do. Hash tag team wine Gile. Well, I don't like that. I wonder if it was like a. I don't know what it was, I don't know what it was either. Imagine if you didn't have the pen, like what would have happened.

[01:00:41]

Truly, though, truly. And it's like people don't believe you, but it's like, well, so you it's a lose lose because either you die by this creepy dog.

[01:00:50]

And I was like, wow, he died by a demon dog. And then or you or you stab it.

[01:00:54]

And I and then I was like, that didn't happen. Or imagine like if you did die, like, would they have known that you died for your dog or would it have been like a mysterious forest death? You know what? That's a good point.

[01:01:05]

That makes me think of all the times when people have these mysterious deaths. And it's like something was weird about the body and it's like nobody knows what.

[01:01:12]

Maybe it was this weird hungry dog thing.

[01:01:15]

Wrinkly dog would anyway here.

[01:01:18]

It wouldn't be a bonus episode if it didn't have a bonus story.

[01:01:21]

So is our back. Here's our final story.

[01:01:25]

This is from I think noodge is how you pronounce it and who uses she her pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns. The subject is recurring dreams.

[01:01:34]

Oh, I love dream stories. And this is what not just to say. Let's skip the formalities and crack into it or shit now. OK, I've always had the same recurring dream every Halloween.

[01:01:47]

Oh well Madge you can expect something in the next couple of weeks huh. A very specific dream is going to hit you.

[01:01:53]

Oh well let's hope it's a good dream actually. Hang on a second. In the dream I'm five years old. The ground starts to tremble and I'm startled from my bed. The room is eerily dark. Besides the faint blue light of the moon streaming in the window, all I can see are the shadows swarming around my room and the bed starts to shake even harder. Then everything goes black, the moon disappears and I feel a fingernail tracing my cheek.

[01:02:21]

Hello, a voice whispers Which, by the way, my response be goodbye ish. Oh, sorry, I thought we were both going to say it at the same time. That would have been really precious, OK. However. Voice whispers And the lights flash back on.

[01:02:39]

I can see an old woman inches from my face and she cackles as she holds up a dead bird that's cut in half.

[01:02:47]

Oh, what?

[01:02:48]

OK, let's recap real quick and only like two sentences. I feel overwhelmed. So, OK, so you're in the room. You wake up in a jolt. It's almost basically pitch black. You see several shadows running around your room. You feel fingernails that are not. You are scratching your cheek. Someone say hello. And then it's a woman with half of a dead bird in her hands.

[01:03:11]

And it's every year on Halloween. You have the dream. Yeah. So you and your five in the dream, which makes it even scarier, right. Also now you can not survive this.

[01:03:20]

Oh, the dream flashes. And I'm in the living room crying and screaming. She's going to get me as I'm trying to push up, push my way onto my mother's lap. My mother pushes me off at the same time, a gust of wind flings open the door and the same old woman is standing in the doorway with the dead birds raining on her.

[01:03:39]

Oh, OK. So now you're running towards your mom. Your mom doesn't want you. And now there's a bunch of dead birds raining around this witch like a dead bird.

[01:03:50]

Dead birds are like an omen in a lot of cultures.

[01:03:53]

Oh, look at the Lake Porten death like they foretell death. All I think is Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds, and also that also it's very bad, weeks before Halloween, we would always find dead birds that were cut in half only in the backyard.

[01:04:12]

What it was never just one or two birds either.

[01:04:16]

There was at least a dozen of them. I've been having that dream since I was a small kid. I'm twenty nine now. It's not as scary as it was when I was a kid. It's almost comforting now. I guess it's comforting that, like, you know, it's a dream. But also if you know, like, oh, Halloween's coming up. But I always see a dozen birds cut in half. Okay. Twenty four half birds.

[01:04:38]

Then maybe you should get like a ring camera before Halloween and see, like, who's throwing these birds into your yard. That's actually a great idea.

[01:04:46]

We want ring camera footage because this is horrifying and I'm scared for you. You mean comforting? Apparently. Oh, sorry. Yes, it's very lovely. Anyway, that's the whole story from Nöjd.

[01:04:57]

That's so like they're like skip the fucking formalities and also skip the formalities, right? No goodbye.

[01:05:05]

Nothing. Just nothing. Here's what it is, Joselo, for with an old fingernail.

[01:05:10]

We would like we would like you to send us some wrong footage on November 1st after Halloween is up an idea. And we would like an update to see Hiser. I want to know if you have the dream again.

[01:05:22]

It's so freaky, so freaky. It's got to be weird. Like once the end of September hits, you're like, OK, well, I know what's coming up, you know.

[01:05:29]

Yeah, like not again. I wonder if there will ever be a year where you don't have it and what that means that you didn't have the dream this year or something. Yeah.

[01:05:37]

Maybe that's why she said it was it felt comforting because imagine if all of a sudden you don't have it and you're like, well now what the fuck is going on?

[01:05:44]

You're like, things were like, fine, and now what that means. Oh, well, thank you and thank you to everybody else who sent in your stories. And you didn't even know they were going to be on it. Bonus.

[01:05:56]

Surprise episode. Yep.

[01:05:58]

So thank you so much and we appreciate you. And hopefully you have an extra spooky season and I guess that's it.

[01:06:07]

If you want to be a part of other future listeners' episodes, which are usually put on in the first of every month, you can submit them on our website. And that's why we drink dotcom and there's a little submission box for you to put it all in.

[01:06:18]

And you can also sign up for our newsletter on that website.

[01:06:21]

And yes, you can see all the little even if you don't have a pet to enter, you can also see all of our little fun entries that people send in your Twitter, submit some animals, please join our newsletter and also get ready for Mirch.

[01:06:36]

Fingers crossed, fingers crossed. Is coming out on Halloween.

[01:06:41]

So, yes, that's the plan anyway. So if not sometime around there. But yes, Binayak, because we're very, very excited. Yes.

[01:06:48]

And keep an eye out for other fun things from us. Also, so many fun things. Nudge, nudge, that's all. That's just nudge. Yeah.

[01:06:57]

And that's why we drink yay! And celebrate Yankee season.

[01:07:15]

Hello, this is Lisa Vanderpump, I've launched a podcast that's right, I'm welcoming a new guest each week for a free flowing conversation. The best part is you. The fans get to be involved, stop by my Instagram each week to find out who my guest is and submit your burning naughty questions for both of us. We may even answer on the air. So gear up for in-depth conversations with some of the most interesting people when we dive deep into relationships, entrepreneurships, animal rights design, sex and bloody everything, be sure to subscribe to Test Media's new podcast, All Things Vanderpump.

[01:07:46]

Wherever you listen to your podcast, you can also check out the video releases each week on YouTube.