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[00:00:00]

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Enter, drink. Stamps.com never go to the post office again. I was trying to think 50 things here, but that doesn't make sense, it does make sense because the 50 this year.

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I know, but didn't sound I didn't it didn't feel right in my.

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So you didn't commit 50 to shit. OK, this year you're fired.

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If this were a community theater play, I would be fired as your director. Happy, happy fiftieth listeners episode, Christine. Oh, can you believe it?

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And it came out right before. Nope, right after our two hundred episodes. So it is a very monumental month, which means we have put out 250 episodes. Yowza.

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That math sounds correct. Yes, I think we've recorded 250 times. And that's a lot. That is a lot. That's a quarter hundred.

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Why do you even still talk to me? It's not a quarter of all they pay me. It's a quarter of a thousand even. All right. I know I heard it. And then I was like, whatever at this point.

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Oh, anyway, happy fiftieth. That means we've read like, oh my God, I'm trying to do more math. I need to stop. I don't do that. I was going to say we've read like three hundred stories or something like that.

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Now if we don't look at me that much is too math that math much. Never mind.

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Three hundred something stories we have read and it's been pretty bananas. Pretty bananas. Pretty noodles. And guess what, this time I get to go first because I know I that's what I've said. I like that I can go first.

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I don't have the pressure of like making this episode really juicy, like right from the top. It's like I get to follow your lead.

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The pressure you go for is every time, even in regular episodes. Yeah, but this time like you'd be used to the pressure nowadays. No, no, no. I never it never ends the, you know, trying to be perfect all the time.

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So OK, I'm going to ride your country decided it thinks. OK, great. Well so then I guess I'll start.

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Oh right.

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We have a theme and we actually like came up with a theme early this time and I already am.

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I already forgot the theme. Oh. Oh my gosh. This is my favorite theme yet. Oh I do know this is and that's why we drink cast me. So it's like basically we are cursing ourselves by reading stories of how we curse you. That that's the theme. I'm very excited about this.

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I, I have the only time I've ever heard about times where we've curse anyone was with like who we don't talk about.

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Yeah. I wonder if we're going to talk about PTSD a lot today is my guess.

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I was afraid that every email was going to be specifically it might be I'm going to do sign of the cross because I have not read them yet.

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So I guess so. Anyway, we told patrons are our theme first so they could get like a little bit of a head start. So I think we've gotten a lot of submissions. So and it's a really we have not. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were riding my coattails today, I, I, I don't listen to my own rules, apparently.

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I'm sorry. I was going to say is if you if we're not reading your story today, fret not, because apparently we have a lot of them. So maybe we'll do a future episode. Part two.

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That's a good idea. I also was I was going to say that this is a perfect way to close out 20, 20. That's true. Yeah. I mean, this is the last listener's episode of the year. We might as well talk about how our own show has made more trauma for you, has ruined everyone's lives.

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Well, that's on that note. I guess we'll get started. You're right. This is the last listener episode of Twenty Twenty. Fittingly, remember last time we still get tweets today from people saying, oh, wow, I just got to the episodes where 20/20 began and you guys were all hopeful and cheerful about the year.

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So should we make predictions about 2021 or should we just just let it be and see and let it do its thing without trying to force it? Because last year we had we were pretty gung ho and people. Yeah. Like still tweet us and say, oh, you guys sound like such fools. And I'm like, yes, I know, yeah.

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This race this year really, really hardened us, I think, because now we're like, let's just see how the next one plays out. Yeah. Like nothing surprises me anymore. So. All right.

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Well, this first email is from Michelle and it is called and that's why we drink Curse My Dog, which I'm already upset about.

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Oops, we apologize. Michelle's first line is definitely didn't want y'all to worry. My fur baby is totally fine now, so. OK, thank you for letting me know in advance. And Michelle, is she her pronouns. So thank you Michelle. It says Hi Eva Lemon AM Christine and all the furry friends. OK, don't feel bad but and that's why we drink first my dog. Or maybe I curse my dog.

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It was not us, it was definitely you. And if it was us. Yeah, yeah. Well it was maybe me but it was probably you. Maybe we did a joint thing. Team effort. Team effort. OK, back in twenty eighteen my partner got tickets to your live show in L.A.. I am a huge fan and was so excited to go to add to the fun y'all were doing.

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And that's why we draw throwback and asked for a picture of a Disneyland nobody wants to go to.

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I remember that product I got right on that ish because I'm no artist, but I love me some Disneyland and. And that's why you drink spooky fun.

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Well, I was absolutely elated when at the show I saw my drawing was selected.

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Oh, you have a superstar here.

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When I got back home that night, I did what any normal person would do and hung that picture proudly on my fridge.

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It was the best of it is sweet. I wish it would end there. Yeah, I go. And I wish she had included the photo the I'm sure we have it in our inbox and we're probably OK.

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It was the best of times and then it was the worst. My poor fur baby Winry started acting really strange over the next few days. She wasn't eating, she didn't want to play with anyone. She just seemed incredibly lethargic and anxious. And I had no idea what was going on.

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About two or three days into this, I was about to call our vet when it occurred to me I had basically created a shrine to Annabel, Robert, the doll, black eyed kids and John Wayne Gacy on my refrigerator.

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Good night.

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I remember this picture now that you mention all the details, I took the picture down immediately, ripped it up and threw it in the trash can very far away from my apartment.

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Winery's mood change was almost instant. She ate dinner that night just fine and was her usual self. The next day. She even played tug of war with me within hours of me taking down the picture.

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Oh, I was so relieved that she was better. But it still freaks me out to this day that I had the power to bring something into my home that could hurt me or my fur babies with some crayons and a piece of paper. Definitely a lot of prayers and staging followed that day. Winry is living a glorious life and can be found sunbathing as she's seen doing here or playing with our quarantine baby kohta. As for me, my fiancee has banned me from listening to and that's why we drink in our home.

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Oh, well, you'll never know this. And we never make any mention of curse dolls. This is why I drink. Thank you for reading my story. I love you all so much and can't wait till you can safely get on the road again. Because listen to this, everyone. Your live shows are fire. Oh, thank you, Michel.

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Also, these little pictures of your puppy dogs are so cute. I know. I was going to ask if you see them. I also like that you're banned from listening, but clearly you knew what the theme of this upcoming debate is.

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So I wonder if she just steps into the backyard and listens. You just drive around all four hours in the night. Just stay the night. In the night. I imagine that's the that's the the aesthetic. But I like how your dog likes to go. Sunbathing knows the feng shui of the room and is affected by it spiritually. Seriously, it sounds like a love that you tried to blame us for your first crayon drawing, you put it on the fridge, all right, you could have folded that puppy up and put it in a drawer.

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You could have given it to us at the live show and crossed us with it, which many stories happened and many people did.

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We have we have a lot of. And that's why we draws in our and that's why I drink a barber right now. That's right. People gave us. So anyway, wow, that was a fun time. And that's why we draw. Oh, OK.

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Well I'm next. And this is from Selli or Saleen. Salhi Celine. There's two names. So there's options. That's why I'm. Oh, I see. I'm acting like the end is silent and one of them and they use she her pronouns. So thank you for normalizing pronouns. And Celine says, Hi, Eva, hi, Eva, Christine M. Lemon, Jenni Mooney and whoever else I might have forgotten.

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I think he got everyone LA Lemmon's their lemon is before you.

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I don't know. But Lemon needed to be twice. OK, well in that case Lemon should be all of them. Just say lemon ten times.

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No, something terrible will happen. If you look in the mirror, it's like Beetlejuice. You guys are my absolute favorite. I'm going to tell you how you guys curse me and broke my brother's phone in the process. Oh, God.

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I thought I was going say back or neck or head or. Oh, my God, thank God it was the phone, thank God. So my husband Ryan and I normally go on a drive. I drive on Sundays to listen to your show, Precious. What a nice. That's nice. It's a quarantine day right there. Wow. Well, I hope you're driving right now. And don't crash. Don't speed. Embrace your surroundings. OK, well, we happen to be listening to the listener story that was all about the black eyed kids.

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Side note, this is the one that till this day, the dolls are a close second has scared me so bad and I still can't get over it. So good for us. I feel powerful.

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So, Christine, I am right there with you, with the. Absolutely not anything related. Back related. Uh huh, uh huh. So anyways, uh, we were listening to the second one. I believe I'm already on the verge of tears because I'm terrified. And my brother Nano called me. I obviously jumped but answered and asked him if he was home and then he said no. And then it just repeats in my brother's voice over and over.

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No, no, no, no.

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Oh. So I hung up and then Ryan tries to call me with his phone and the phone is picked up, but. OK, sorry. Ryan tries to call, tries to call him with his phone and the phone is picked up, but there's not a sound from him, so just silence on the other end. So we tried calling the rest of my family and the same thing that they would be a pick up, a no sound from them.

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Then we called my sister, who doesn't live with them, to see if it was our phone. But she answered. We were able to talk like in the house or something. No one's phone was working. So Ryan and I went home and I was able to call my brother with no problem. And we did not finish the episode on the first drive because we were freaked out. But we also didn't want to finish the episode in our house.

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So we went on another mini drive to finish the episode the same night we were in the middle of the fourth story. And Nando calls me again, but this time to finish the episode.

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But this time the cell phone starts off with my name or my nickname in his voice, Cely and just repeat it over and over again.

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Sell, sell, sell, sell, sell.

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I cried again and we tried to call all of them back, but the same thing happened and they would pick up. But there was no sound on their end. We finished the stories and Ryan, who doesn't normally get scared, had goose bumps. And we went home and I could call everyone normally, except this time the calls wouldn't make it to my brother and he couldn't make calls on his end. So they tried to reset his phone and they took it in and he had to get a new phone because there was no fixing that phone and the tech people couldn't figure out what was wrong.

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That's so yeah, I was Kurstin.

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My brother's phone paid the price and that's why I drink.

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I wish my curses just went to my brother like deflected on to him. That would be nice. Yeah. If your curse is that you can't get a hold of your brother than like depending on your relationship with it's like not really a curse.

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Wow. That is really freaky. And I hate that it kept repeating the words and I hate that it happened twice because I feel like once is like a fluke, like you had a weird tech issue. But if it happened hours later, like that night and then and then the reverse happened.

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Bernau you couldn't like nothing was coming through on his end. Oh. Oh, OK, well, thank you for your story, but also I'm glad I'm not you. Oh, God, also my bad. So now I want to go check my phone after this.

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You probably know glossier for their skin care products and for popularizing the glowing dewy skin look that I'm always complimenting Christine on, but glassie also creates makeup products and body hair products and fragrance. It's true.

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And I love all of the above. As you can tell, I always make any comment on my face, and they do because they're wonderful friend. But I will say my current favorite is the boy Brout, which and loves to compliment my brows. Sometimes I do.

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No, truly, any time we've done an Instagram live together, I'm always, always the first things are either your lips or your eyebrows. Today, your eyebrows do look particularly delightful. Today, I got to say glazy the Boiro is like a game changer for real. I never really knew how to do my eyebrows before. So the Boiro is like, let me tell you, it's a best selling grooming po mod for instantly fluffy full brows. And if you're like, what's a homemade?

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Well, I will tell you, it's inspired by traditional men's mustache wax. So it's basically like creamy kind of wax formula that visibly, you know, forms and shapes your brows into place. It has like moisturizing ingredients. So you're you know, you can moisturize at the same time and it comes in different shades. So I have a brown and I have a clear in case I'm feeling a little unnatural, you know, but the shades, it's just like the easiest thing.

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You swipe it on and suddenly am is complimenting your eyebrows. It's great.

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Also, I do like they have this tiny little precision brush. So, yes, you know, I love things that are not proportional like size.

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I think I will brush. You can also make sure your browser all fluffed and perfect and it is very delicate, very delicate.

[00:15:32]

Get the boy bro and generation do so by visiting glossier dot com slash podcast slash drink for a limited time.

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I keep my head down with my vitamins now, my neutrophil, when I like, when I used to kind of bend over, put my head down, I literally had a bald spot and I used to talk about it a lot.

[00:16:11]

I'm sorry, but I'm also no way it was to me it was a symbol of our hard work and was proud of it, honestly.

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[00:17:17]

OK, I have a story here. This is let's see BECC. This is from Becca. Whose is she. Her preannouncing Rebecca.

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Hello. All my name is Becca. I've been listening practically from your start and I can't thank you enough for keeping me sane. Who knew your voices and stories could keep me focused when at work?

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I certainly did not any who getting right into it. My grandfather passed away six years ago and it was one of the worst things I've ever felt in my life. Up until my grandmother, his wife passed away nearly two years ago, we moved her closer to me and my family and I ended up becoming her primary caregiver.

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This past spring, my aunt, the daughter of said grandparents, went to a holistic healing psychic crystals and what have you type convention.

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Oh, I'm there. That sounds really see you there.

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Yeah, we purchased a couple of stones and crystals and went to the next booth, which was a psychic. Where is the I want to go to like a like a church.

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And are we, are we a guest appearance thing over there.

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It sounds like some want to just get a bad like a visitor badge and like meet everybody. I want a backstage pass so I can have early access to all of the stuff at the booths. It's like crime con.

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Yeah, it is. But better. But metaphysical but metaphysical. Right.

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OK, let's see. I sat back letting my aunt take the time when my grandfather came through.

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Soon though, the psychic looked at me and apologized to my aunt, asking if she could speak to me because my grandfather was being insistent that he needed to talk to me. Oh, Schewe floodgates.

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Oh, she told me that he had been trying to communicate with me by showing me things in threes. Specifically, if I went home and looked in my fridge, I'd find three bottles of something, three cans of something, etc. altogether in their sets.

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I like how this grandpa was like, I know you're going to check that fucking fridge like, yeah, you're going to drink beer and there's going to be three specifically.

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Here's three chocolate cakes that you don't remember pulling in there. There were 12, but I ate enough that only I was like, I say enough because I couldn't do the math that quickly. There are eight, nine of them.

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If you buy twelve cakes and your dead grandfather eats nine of them, how many are left still at least have three chocolate cakes.

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That's true. I could live with that. Yes. I'd also find things outside of the fridge or new that I had been hearing things like knocking three times. Yes, the things of three were in the fridge and sounds. Other things of three were definitely showing up in my life. Then the psychic said that I had a spirit guide that lived outside on our property. She began to describe my house and groupings of trees, the lake and how everything was situated.

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She told me that my spirit guide named Walter out of here.

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Hang on. Is every dead man's name Walter? Yes. That must be like a process they go through. That's a new name badge. It makes it easier for God to go through like social services. They get their name change. I understand it's a process.

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Oh, OK. She told me my spirit guide named Walter lived in one of the trees in a grouping of three trees, which happen to be my three favorite trees on the property. Oh, do you have three favorites?

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I don't have three favorite trees I'm more focused on. Why is one of them hanging out in the tree beside the tree?

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If I fucked out my grandpa was haunting me from a tree, I'd be like, You're barking up the wrong tree.

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Yeah, I feel like I'm not coming up there. I hope you don't think I'm going to climb this. You are better off waiting in the fridge. I was definitely going to find you there. You had me. You had me with the fridge. I don't know. You had to make it weird, Walter, yet avoid. Showing off, climbing a tree. I get it, I can't climb a tree and you can. That's nice. To be fair, if I died and became Waltraud could climb a tree, I would show off to everybody.

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So I get that I had my nine cakes and I would take them up into the oak tree and I would have a good time if, you know, I can't do a cartwheel in real life.

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And so one day, just imagine my dead body just cartwheeling everywhere.

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I am going to be like my spirit guide, just cartwheeling through the room.

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I'm just going to be like Samon Byles. But the afterlife version.

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But also eating nine Cades. Yes. Oh OK.

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She says it all seems so coincidental and I'm not sure if I really, truly believe yet, but there was just so much more to the rest of the conversation my aunt and I had with the psychic for me not to. I'm definitely curious enough to want to go again now that I've taken your time. Remember love on your family, you never know when you won't be able to again. Trust in your Walter.

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That's a wait a minute. That's a great saying. Wow, I love that trust you're Walter.

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Be aware of your surroundings, especially if something comes in threes.

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And as a fourth note, since I guess she didn't want to end in threes, there is always a reason to drink hash tag team wine.

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But love you both.

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And Eva, I love that back. I think you should believe it. If this is your sign to believe it. I say believe it. I say believe it too.

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I mean, Walters' hanging out on the trees, screaming at the top of his lungs just can't tell. So yeah.

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And I feel like if a psychic said, oh yeah, the lake by your house would be like, nice try. There's definitely no lake by my house. So I feel like if she's like there's a lake by your house and there is. Yeah, she's on to something.

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I definitely if I'm ever speaking to like any sort of medium or anything like that and they nail anything that grand or that obvious or that, you know, that's specific, I would be like, oh shit, whatever you have to say, I got to listen to for sure. Oh, who's in a tree.

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OK, I'd also be careful which tree, because now I'm like, which tree is walters' tree. Like what if I decide today I want to climb a tree. What if I feel like a little hand go like I'm already here, you know?

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What if you just it's the one that the acorns are just pelting you. Yeah. What if you have to do construction and like you have to tear down a tree. Can you imagine. Can you alter would be pissed.

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How do you even explain that. So it goes like you finally have to climb down and go into a little awkward or you can just come inside.

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Just come inside. Now there's cake in here. There's like you note that. OK, thank you for your story. This is from Amelia. Who is she? Her pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns. And the subject line is and that's why we drink triggered my gift. Oh, don't know what that means.

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Why didn't it trigger my gift? I'm still over here. I don't spiritually blind as a bat I maybe that is your gift.

[00:23:34]

Maybe maybe this story is a lot even for the baby's fruit mummies and Christine Lyle Lovett, concise and all the walters' in the world.

[00:23:44]

I've been a long time listener and sent in a few stories before this one. But after I saw your picture on bat signal, I started to realize something. Ever since I started listening to the podcast, most noticeably after the synchronicities episode, I've been noticing now that I've become more in tune with my sixth sense, who I started out.

[00:24:04]

It started out small, mostly just feeling random goosebumps and seeing things out of the corner of my eye. All this chalked up to my severe anxiety at the time and the fact that I have clear, thick framed glasses that kind of irap my kind of warped my peripherals. But even after some therapy and medication and switching back to contacts, things just seem to get worse. The Blur's started to get bigger and take on more human like shapes, and a strong sense of deja vu will often come over me.

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This is a feeling that I haven't really experienced since I was a kid.

[00:24:36]

And to make matters worse, before all of this, all these Pandits, all this podcast shenanigans, I was a very kind way of putting it.

[00:24:46]

You could have said it a lot meaner. I started laughing because I heard it and I was like, I know what you meant. Yeah, we know what you mean. Before all the podcast shenanigans, I was and still am notoriously known for my false memories that my family and I will be talking about old stories and I'll chime in with something I remember clear as a bell, only to be shot down by weird looks. It's a force of habit.

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It's almost like a past life or something. It's a force of habit. Now for me to just tag on real or fake, whenever I try to bring up an old memory, it's something my family and I have grown to laugh out.

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At the very least, who so feels like to me like either a past memory or like your astral projecting to another time, or like you can just like travel back in your mind.

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Why or why are implanted memories from aliens? We the government. Are you listening? No, no, no, no, no. Please, dear God, these are just shenanigans just after that again. So I have to see him but nothing but dead cartwheels. So now this is something I really started to pick up on after the Synchronicities Listener's story episode. And I. I'm getting better at, weirdly, meeting someone's needs before either of us know it's going to happen.

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I didn't notice it right away, but following that episode, I was starting to get better at low key, anticipating what my sister was going to do. There was this one instance when we were going to visit our parents for the weekend, and as I was throwing stuff into a bag, I was suddenly struck by a need to grab a normal bra. I hate wearing anything but sports bras.

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I couldn't think, why would you not force balls are better, OK?

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I couldn't think of why I would want to bring it. We were only there for like a day. So what was the point of wasting space in my overnight bag? I'd like to. I'm like in my mind I'm predicting like, does this become like a like or you're going to see a cute boy or something like like well, they look like, why do you need a fancy bra?

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What's happening?

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I am assuming the sister needs a bra.

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Oh, that's probably makes more sense.

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She that I anticipate my sister's needs. I guess so. But I was like what. I was like going to grandma's and I need a nice bra that is going to help Lacy and Lacy third love. No. Is that I got to say, listen, take your fishfinder quiz because then you'll never care about wearing sports bra versus regular bras ever again.

[00:27:03]

Anyway, sorry, I assumed I was just like, where are we going with us? Still, I packed it up without thinking more on it. And the next day at my parents house, I woke up and just thought, I need a full face of makeup today. OK, I'm still. Oh, ok. OK, you're winning right now. You're still right. I think for a day that would involve nothing but a trip to the bank or so I thought.

[00:27:23]

As I'm grabbing my keys to go, my sister stops me. She's got my arms full of photography equipment and some dresses. And she asks me, did you bring a good bra?

[00:27:32]

Oh, creepy. That's specific.

[00:27:35]

Yeah, I'm baffled. And tell her yes, only for her to tell me to go put it on. But it turns out the whole reason we'd come for the visit was so my sister could take photos for her art class project and I was apparently supposed to model for this project. OK, I see.

[00:27:50]

So we were both right?

[00:27:51]

Well, not really, but neither of us living spiritually blind as I like our gift, if you will, or gift other incidents, just our other incidents have just been getting snacks on a whim when shopping and ended up being what my sister had been craving all day or feeling the need to check the time, my phone seconds before text comes from a friend or family member. One time I had even been humming a song that was stuck in my head and it ended up being from a movie my brother couldn't think the name of.

[00:28:20]

And I text it to me to see if I knew. On the one hand, this had all been kinds of fun being half a step ahead of the curve. But I'm also not enjoying the fact that whenever I get my deja vu or goosebumps, my dog will look in the corner of the room. Goodbye, and that's all.

[00:28:36]

Akhenaten's, thanks. Is it? Thanks again for all the spooks and giggles. Love you mean it. Amelia and Alfie, the labradoodle wealthy.

[00:28:45]

I'm sorry that are your mommy's scaring you.

[00:28:49]

That was a really good look. If that were the script to a movie you ends in, it's that a sequel could come from it like. Yes, it was very minor. It was precious. And then the last sentence was a little too dark for me. There's still a mystery afoot.

[00:29:03]

Wow.

[00:29:04]

I, I love, I wish I were your sister just like oh you brought me hot Cheetos.

[00:29:09]

That's exactly what I want. Oh you brought me more box wine. Oh you you, you brought me leggings and a nice bra. Wow. Everything.

[00:29:18]

And a pair of somebody like commented on my Instagram post were like those don't look like Rosses. And I was like, that's because they're phablet sun slippers. So check yourself man.

[00:29:28]

You really are always wearing at least one of our sponsors.

[00:29:31]

It's listen, we only endorse things that we actually enjoy every time.

[00:29:37]

Every time I've seen you since you moved away. You're always in Rothko's and you're always wearing a third labrot.

[00:29:42]

Listen, I'm like I want to I want to prove that, you know, we got we're rep and good product. We're not leading anyone astray. No, no, no, no, no.

[00:29:52]

Hello, Paul. Well, you didn't tell you were going to be singing this time? Well, she's here for those who don't know what Hello Fresh's.

[00:30:05]

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[00:30:30]

Let me make you a meal.

[00:30:32]

And I pulled out and I made no joke. I made barbecue pineapple flatbread with caramelized and pickled onion and hear me out because usually I'm not like a fruit on my food person. It's good.

[00:30:43]

This was so good. And I'm not a Hawaiian pizza lover, but this was and it's in the Hall of Fame. So I was like, I'm going to I'm going to risk it and go for it. It was so good. You literally wrote the biscuit for the Biscuit Flatbread.

[00:30:59]

Listen, I'm a fan of Pineapple on pretty much anything, so I completely understand how delicious convert I welcome. Welcome to the other side. Hello for us. Delivers fresh, high quality preparation ingredients so you can make meals that are delicious and nutritious. And Hello Fresh is the first global carbon neutral milk company. So I love that. Just more reason. It makes me feel better.

[00:31:19]

Yeah, it makes me feel better about ordering it. You know, you're you're not hurting the environment or anything like that.

[00:31:23]

So go to hello. Fresh dotcom eighty drink and use code eighty drink to get eighty dollars off including free shipping. Go to hello fresh dotcom slash eighty drink and use code eighty drink to get eighty dollars off including free shipping.

[00:31:37]

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[00:31:44]

I don't have time for that. We don't have time for that. And that's why Stamps.com brings the post office and now UPS shipping right to your computer. You can mail and ship anything from the convenience of your home or office is true for I'm not going home for Christmas.

[00:31:56]

And by the time this comes out, I probably finished up my shopping by now, but I did have a lot of gifts sent specifically to me for family members. But I wanted everything to be nice and wrapped and I wanted to be able to send everything out in one nice box for each person. So I had to do a lot of shipping on my end and during quarantine, I don't want to go to the post office. So thankfully, Stamps.com, let me get all of that done from my home.

[00:32:17]

And now everyone's got their little little beautiful presents from me.

[00:32:21]

Yeah, I feel like I have like a secret, like I get to do it from my house and I'm like I can like mail stuff from like my house, like it's a shipping center from my house. It's the coolest feeling ever. I have a little scale. Listen, it's it's a great feeling. Simply use your computer to official U.S. postage 24/7 for any letter, any package, any class mail, anywhere you want to send it. And once your mail is ready, you can schedule a pick up or even just drop it off at the post office.

[00:32:44]

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[00:32:58]

I love that scale.

[00:32:59]

Go to Stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in drink. That's Stamps.com.

[00:33:04]

Enter drink stamps.com. Never go to the post office again.

[00:33:09]

OK, this is called Listeners. Fifty Fiftieth Patriots story. The Child and me.

[00:33:16]

Oh don't bring kids ok.

[00:33:19]

No don't make it. We're BMF. OK, this is from Kira who says Dear Christine MGO Lemon Juniper Evea and Moonshine. First of all, congrats on the fiftieth listeners episode. I'm so excited to hear all the spooky stories. My name is Kira. She her and you guys have you guys gave me one of my first haunted experiences in my life. You are welcome here.

[00:33:42]

Well, great.

[00:33:45]

I usually listen to your podcast in my car. First off, teacher life. But secondly, because the car seems safer than welcoming demons and dolls into my home, everyone's saying this. Meanwhile, man, I like sat in my living room for years. Yeah.

[00:33:56]

Now I'm trying to think like maybe people are on to something. Also, this explains why a lot of people during, like, doll stories have said like something happened in their car. Now, like cars, everyone's driving this whole time.

[00:34:06]

Yeah, that doesn't seem safe either now that you mention it. Yeah. Next time we will if we ever do another doll story, please just put your car park, like just just turn it over, ok. Yeah. OK.

[00:34:18]

I also just got goose cam because I read the next line and now I'm freaked out already.

[00:34:22]

Why I am why I remember distinctly listening to your New Orleans episode. You had a young kid ghost that like cartoon gods.

[00:34:30]

Dammit Michael. I'm scared and I know for sure he liked the Flintstones.

[00:34:39]

OK, he definitely can hear us for sure. Yeah. Oh, man. I always feel like he's kind of just chill it with the second wind. That was we definitely that was a weird attachment that we got because like, any time I even think about him, he's for sure next to me. Yeah.

[00:34:54]

And does not even like when I mention his name, like I'm literally has asked me to please not say his name, which I was like, OK, weird, OK, but now I kind of get it for the record, in case you are listening Michael, it's not that I don't like you, it's just that I thought we were pretty clear in that you should stay in New Orleans and we would, we would leave.

[00:35:10]

And yet you always find your way if you're old, really listens to grownups instructions.

[00:35:15]

I guess you're right. You're right. You're right. OK, it says, oh boy, I'm going to get creeped out here. It says, I don't know how able bodied this ghost is or strong or if another demon that I've welcomed into my car was messing with me. But this child changed my whole perspective on the haunted and unknown sister.

[00:35:34]

I leave my home alone right now. OK. Oh my.

[00:35:39]

Good, OK. I was turning left onto a major highway from my home. I had your episode on Low just in the background so I could focus on driving. You know how you turned down the music to see better? Yeah, that was me.

[00:35:50]

It was. I was laughing at the part that you were saying he really enjoyed the Flintstones as it was a favorite of mine as a kid. Oh, as I'm making this turn, my radio suddenly cuts to static. First off, I'm on Bluetooth, so this shouldn't have happened in the first place. The static is ridiculously loud and then my stereo turns off. I already swerved into another lane accidentally, so I was studying myself before turning my radio back on.

[00:36:14]

When I switched it on, my Bluetooth turned on and so did the Flintstones theme song Shut the Fuck Up on high volume.

[00:36:25]

Great. This gets weird. It did, it already did, we can we're done. It's too late. I wish I had a blanket.

[00:36:35]

It says it's still set on my phone that your podcast was playing. Not any other song. I thought you guys had included the theme song in your podcast as a joke to scare people who are listening evea, please God say that's exactly what happened.

[00:36:51]

Did you do that? Did you put that in?

[00:36:52]

You imagine. Oh, can you imagine?

[00:36:55]

Oh, my God. If anyone else is listening, going, wait, I thought they did put that in. OK, let me know because that's horrific. OK, as far as I'm concerned, we did it because I would be way too lazy for that.

[00:37:06]

We did not. I'm really hoping that like someone else who edits our our show did this. OK, great God.

[00:37:11]

OK, I really thought you guys had included the theme song in your podcast as a joke to scare those listening. So I rewound it back to see what had happened and enjoy the joke instead of terrifying myself. However, when I played the episode from a previous point, it played normally with no static or Flintstone's interruptions. Good night. I've checked this exact episode multiple times and I've never had it happen again, nor has my Bluetooth ever turned to static again either.

[00:37:37]

This is OK. I'm fully, fully freaked out because.

[00:37:41]

Because do you remember what happened? And that's what happened with Michael and went to the bathroom. Yeah I, my iPad started blasting music that we had never heard before.

[00:37:49]

I first thought it literally started blasting music on my iPad that didn't even have music. Like I don't even know how it got on there.

[00:37:56]

Oh, the one I'm holding in my very hands.

[00:37:59]

Oh, wow.

[00:38:01]

The goose calm. It's like these these goose bumps want to rip themselves off my arms.

[00:38:05]

Right now I'm running away to escape my body. I don't blame them.

[00:38:11]

OK, I've checked this episode multiple times because of that. This experience has honestly scared me to death and I get a little anxious in the middle of some episodes in case my car buddy comes back.

[00:38:21]

Either way, I just wanted to share with you the fear and terror I've gone through with your podcast, not including the newly developed sleep paralysis that has begun about a month ago.

[00:38:28]

OK, Dorival, Michael, if this is you, please leave our friend alone and please don't mess with my equipment and blast music. I, I like your mine either. I like you messing with other people, not me. So let's keep me off the list. Thank you.

[00:38:44]

Other people that don't listen to our show. Yeah. Let them just not even think that it could possibly be anyone. It's just a weird malfunction.

[00:38:51]

Hopefully you get the chance to read this. Maybe it will make its way on. I know there's more scary stories out there, but I just wanted to share a bit of mine. I don't know. This is maybe one of the scarier ones.

[00:39:00]

It's because it a personal I feel personally out of it.

[00:39:03]

Yeah, I feel victimized.

[00:39:07]

Oh, God. Raise your hand. If you've been victimized by Michael, the goes the child goes.

[00:39:12]

I hope you guys are doing amazing and as always, love your hair.

[00:39:15]

Hate your guts. Kira here. I'm so sorry. We didn't mean for that to happen.

[00:39:19]

We didn't even know he was going to come home with us. That is a fact.

[00:39:23]

I promise that we asked him politely not to. Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh hmm. Hey, wanted to get worse. There's my next story has to do with Petitti.

[00:39:34]

No, I knew you'd end up with one. So this is from Ayla, who is a she they pronouns love a good double pronoun. Thank you for not a voice.

[00:39:44]

OK, I regret that. And they say the title is the one where I listened to and that's why we drink episode and got attacked at work. And I'm not saying hopefully by now you know who PTT is. If you would like to look up who we're talking about, just type in to. And that's why we drink Jochum and then click listen and you'll see a list of all of our episodes and you control find the doll and it's the one that isn't Harald.

[00:40:14]

OK, is there a doll on her. I'm sorry. Is there a list on our website. Yeah. Since when, like six months. What yeah, who put their me? You didn't tell me that. Yes, I did. I said, I'm going to do it, but I did it and then we just never talked about it again. What? I didn't know that. Oh, my God, that's handy. I wish somebody had told me.

[00:40:38]

Oh, I thought you were aware. No, now I'm going to it. I had no clue about this. Oh, no. I think the only one missing is the last one that came up because I haven't done it yet. Holy shit.

[00:40:48]

There's a whole list of our episodes on our website, everybody. And I swear to God. OK, OK. Anyway, it's also not Robert. It's also not Robert. It's not Robert. It's not Harold. It's the other one that starts with a P.. OK, so OK, let's just crack into it, I guess. Wow. And it says Hi Eva and everyone else if this gets picked.

[00:41:10]

Hello to you, Eva and everyone else. That should be the EVA and CO. I heard that the fiftieth listener stories theme would be and that's why I drink and I knew I had to, I had to submit it. Here is a story of that time. I was listening to the episode at work and I got scratched, attacked in my cubicle. Even writing this is making me paranoid. I'm about to get attacked. So here's hoping all goes well.

[00:41:36]

Well, great. If I have a follow up after this, you get a free cast. If you're listening and everything shuts down in this room, please come get me, because I guarantee you the door has locked itself. OK, Mom, pick me up, please. For context. I'm a clairvoyant. Claire Cognizance, Claire, a bunch of things who has seen, heard and felt spirits, energies and entities for much of my life. I submitted a few previous listener stories back when my pronouns were different because of self discovery.

[00:42:02]

Been there with some stories about the chil child ghosts and not social demons in my house growing up. Oh, I remember that story that only I could see anyway. I've been to the Zebb Haunted Museum a couple of times and have met before, but nothing eventful had happened to me specifically while in her room. Fingers crossed it doesn't change. But I can say the same for you and me. That's true. Yes, this uneventful ness might have been because I was getting attacked by the entity attached to the big box instead at the time.

[00:42:34]

So I was a little preoccupied. Which, by the way, did you know recently the sage they keep around that box has been molding for no reason.

[00:42:42]

We love to see it do it anyway. I'm getting sidetracked. I'm sitting at my cubicle at my old crummy accounting job, listening to back to back. And that's why I drink episodes with one here button to avoid getting busted by my boss. As I'm listening to the episode, I start thinking back to the time I've seen and how she'd called someone who wasn't taking it seriously an asshole. All Yikes. All of a sudden my neck feels really hot, like someone had pressed a hot towel on my neck and I feel something behind me.

[00:43:14]

As many clear people will tell you, you can't decide when you're going to see or hear or feel something. It's really out of your control and not something that you can decide. I feel something in that corner, so let me focus in and see on it or let me touch this cloth and see who the previous owners were. It just doesn't work like that for me. But I knew something was behind me. And even when I spun around, all I could see was the solid wall of energy.

[00:43:35]

It felt dark. I couldn't very well just start talking to it in my cubicle. Yeah. Can you imagine? That's like the that's like the superhero problems.

[00:43:44]

You don't really think about the like you're at fucking work and like this is happening when you're not even supposed to be listening to a podcast, you're already trying to hide that. And now you're talking so many things you have to juggle right now. Imagine being like in a like a conference meeting and there's just like a demon on the table.

[00:43:59]

And like, you have to ignore it, like, you know, like trying to give a PowerPoint presentation and they keep standing in front of the laser pointer and you're like, excuse me. Oh, just the worst. Well, that's me as a ghost. It's just you doing like the cancan on the table ruining your PowerPoint. I couldn't very well just start talking to them my cubicle for fear of judgment. So I tried to calmly walk to the empty bathroom outside my office.

[00:44:22]

And once inside, I looked in the mirror to find as if in a damn horror movie, three swollen scratches across the back of my neck.

[00:44:30]

Oh, I couldn't feel I could feel the energy. I couldn't feel the energy around me anymore. So I started putting water on my neck and assumed that it was over. But as I'm standing in front of the mirror in shock at what just happened and trying to calm myself down, the lights started dimming. OK, this is like an actual horror movie should look for you. It wasn't too much, but noticeable enough to put me on edge. I can't stress to you that the lights in this bathroom never dim there.

[00:44:56]

Those bright, heavy duty industrial ones. And then I hear a low growl at the end of the stalls on the opposite side of the bathroom. This is literally fresh out of a movie. Yes, it is. It sounded like the growling and hissing that those little girl zombies make and walking dead.

[00:45:13]

No, I don't like that noise. Fuck off. Something inside of me kind of snapped and I told it verbally and without caring if anyone was outside or walked in to leave me alone. I've been dealing with negative energies and spirits long enough to know that if you get scared of it and don't set. Boundaries that will keep fucking with you, kind of like gross ex-boyfriend. Anyway, I guess listen to me because I got quiet in the whole bathroom, got quiet, but I knew it was still there.

[00:45:36]

So I stood there for another few minutes just waiting for someone to walk in and see me standing there looking at an absolute looking like an absolute lunatic. Eventually I. I left and told my boss that I was going to take an early lunch, at which point I proceeded to do all the cleansing practices. I know in order to get this thing and energy off of me, I took a picture of the scratches and sent it to my other Claire friend who had been to the Zebb Museum with me.

[00:46:00]

And without prompting, she got the impression that it had something to do with the doll thoroughly spooked. I haven't thought about this in a few years because life in grad school happened, but hearing the topic instantly brought me back to that day. Needless to say, I haven't been back to the ZIB Museum since two attacks is too much for me and my anxiety. Anyway, this was long, but I hope this provided enough goose calm and commentary to make it onto the show.

[00:46:23]

I hope to see you all in Denver once covid restrictions lift ala. Wow.

[00:46:28]

Oh my God. I mean, honestly, like we went to the zombie museum and I was like, this is so creepy. But we looked it in the eyes, we looked her in the eyes.

[00:46:37]

We were like, whatever. And then went and I started watching the quarantine special.

[00:46:40]

I was like, I didn't realize, like, how wild this place gets. Like how dangerous. Yeah. People get really affected. And they're I remember we were kind of like laughing at off. I remember being like 10 percent nervous, but 90 percent thinking it was funny that, like, Zibi literally makes you sign like a life.

[00:46:56]

Yes. Like a 12 gauge a 12 page waiver of like if anything happens to you, it's not our fault, including death.

[00:47:03]

And we were like, OK, yeah. Like, if your back breaks, then it's not my back end. But then after watching quarantine. Yeah, I was like, like, OK, yeah, I don't blame him for that anymore.

[00:47:16]

That is actually pretty sensible.

[00:47:19]

Wow. Well I hope that nothing happened after you sent that email.

[00:47:23]

I hope not either. I hope nothing happens to us after having read the email. Yeah me too. But we kind of did this to ourselves, huh. Sharded. Oops. We always do. OK, now we have a bonus story.

[00:47:34]

This is a story, so this is the last one, this is a story from anonymous and anonymous sources, pronouns are he slash him, slash goes, Oh, thank you for normalizing all pronouns.

[00:47:49]

All this is called, hello, is this thing on? Pretty sure you haunted my house. Sorry. So let me just crack right on into this. I live in a house. I'm pretty sure you haunted.

[00:48:00]

Oh, OK. Nothing weird had ever happened to me here. To my knowledge. I have a feeling. I have a feeling about this. Why I have a funny feeling about this in my tum tum. Oh nothing weird it ever happened here to my knowledge, although granted I'm not originally from this area so who knows what could have ever happened here. Sorry, what could have happened here before me. Uh huh. I know what's going on. I'm from a small town in Alabama, but moved to California after some wild cross-country adventures.

[00:48:25]

My whole house was open and sunny and peaceful. Well, not for long. My favorite part was this nice little baqa'a in the living room. This is relevant, I promise. I would typically make myself a gin and tonic in the evenings and hang out with my dog, who's super cute, but a bit of an asshole that's not really relevant but felt important to share.

[00:48:42]

I get I know what's happening here is I literally is from the first line was like something is something is off here.

[00:48:52]

Oh my gosh, this is genius. I'm Claire Gmail and. Oh my gosh, OK. For other people who don't know yet, I guess we should just pretend, right? Yeah. Yeah, I can just see if you figure it out.

[00:49:02]

Genius sounds nice, right? Because when I saw Anonymous I was like, oh, boy. Sounds nice, right?

[00:49:07]

Well, it was until I started hearing voices. At first I was just little things that I could ignore or explain away. Mostly muted whispers coming from one of the upstairs rooms. I never really like to go into that particular room. Just give me a weird feeling like someone was listening to me.

[00:49:22]

Oh, pretty unsettling, but I just brushed it off as my old ears playing tricks on me. But then I started hearing full words, which really creeped me right out of town. One night, gin and tonic in hand. I heard clear as day hello coming from the stairs, you guessed it, leading back up to that upstairs room. What was going on here was someone from the other side trying to make contact. Well, I wanted no part of it.

[00:49:45]

So again, I ignored it. Then the words got more frequent, mostly.

[00:49:50]

Hello, but I swear I also caught murderer ghost cyanide. Yikes. And here are some real kicker's bras. Oh, my God. It sure is. And fresh.

[00:50:10]

Quite a confusing combo, they say.

[00:50:14]

So by this point, I couldn't really ignore it anymore. It would happen so frequently I could barely get any peace and quiet. Every time I went to that upstairs room to double check, I wasn't losing my marbles. No one would be there. So I did the only thing I could think of. I got out the old Ouija board.

[00:50:28]

Oh, I tried to ask some basic questions like what's your name or where are you from? But it almost felt like whoever was on the other side of the border was trying to ask me questions. I don't really know how all that spiritual stuff works, but I tried to answer as best I could.

[00:50:42]

I remember we both seem to enjoy gin because right as right as I spelled it out, the Berkut rattled so loudly downstairs, I thought all my booze bottles were going to shatter. I closed out the session right then and there because I wasn't willing to sacrifice my alcohol to whatever other worldly annoyance had clearly taken over my house. So where do you come in? Well, here's the kicker. One day this gal just shows up on my doorstep. She's a little younger than me.

[00:51:14]

And turns out she's got a pretty wild starp story. She tells me she knows this will sound weird, but that she just followed two entities here all the way from Las Vegas.

[00:51:23]

Oh, boy. God damn it, stop. OK, continue.

[00:51:28]

OK, I think she's some kind of new agey practitioner because she said she had met them briefly at a house party where the veil between worlds was thinner. She said she wanted to follow up on a conversation they had started. Oh, my God, I couldn't ignore the coincidence. So I told her everything I had experienced, she said. It sounded to her like my house was haunted by podcasters.

[00:51:49]

Oh, my God. I told her maybe she's the one who lost her marbles and sent her on her way. She just shrugged and said she was pretty sure you'd both be leaving my house soon anyway.

[00:52:00]

So she'd find you another time. Oh, my God. Wow. But before she left, she showed me how to access your website form thing in case I wanted to contact you directly. I have to admit, I thought all of this was just a giant load of hooey. But then, true to her word, everything quieted down not too long after that. So now I'm back to my quiet gin and tonics. But here's the real kicker. Now I kind of miss you, dummies.

[00:52:21]

Oh, what Peggy called.

[00:52:24]

And that's why we drink. Great name, by the way. Yours non corporally the Oggi Walt.

[00:52:31]

P.S. Tell you what, she was a doll for letting me.

[00:52:34]

Automatic right with her shut-off, that's so, so wonderful, it's so fucking wow frame that because it's poetry that was his lyrical genius, whatever that was.

[00:52:50]

Oh, I just got sent to another dimension.

[00:52:54]

I'm speechless. I was, like, stunned. Did you did you get the the friend from Las Vegas thing? Yeah. Well I. Well, OK, so I really officially picked the first you said like, oh I know what's going on then you said Alabama. I was like, who the fuck do we know from Alabama?

[00:53:09]

I was the only the only detail that went missing was that his his like his twin grandkids or something. That was the only. Yeah. Everything else was covered. I noticed when you said drinking with my dog and I was like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:53:25]

For those who don't know, that was apparently the story of Walt and almost like the others.

[00:53:32]

Yes. Wow. Wow. I miss Walt. That was the ghost at my old house. And a lot of people have asked if he came with me. Apparently the answer is I didn't go with him.

[00:53:41]

So I think I think he's in the clear now. So sorry, Walt. OK, but Bacitracin Frasch has to be like that funniest thing in the world.

[00:53:49]

Oh, that's good stuff right there. I love that it was hello. And I was like I waiting for a fresh set up in this e-mail.

[00:53:55]

Also that last line of like this lady came over and then at the end it said, I miss you, dummies, and what Peggy called and that's why we drink sweet.

[00:54:07]

OK, but now that I think about it like that was the last listener story will do for the entire year. What a nice way to end it. I was so sure after I moved and everything. Oh, I love that I go all that well.

[00:54:20]

Was like such a comforting presence.

[00:54:22]

He was the only one I trust currently. I love that it was because apparently he was trying to hide from us and get us away though. Right.

[00:54:30]

And the gin, the gin kart nearly exploding. He threatened his gin.

[00:54:35]

Yeah. Which is that the second that he spelled gin, we did go kind of ballistic.

[00:54:38]

So we probably rattled the hell out of that gin. Wow. Oh, wow.

[00:54:44]

Well, bravo, bravo, bravo. And thank you all for and thank you for, you know, channeling Walt through your writing or however this situation worked through the online forum. I didn't know you had such a gift.

[00:54:57]

I didn't know. Clearly automatic writing was such a talent of yours.

[00:55:00]

Oh, my God. I had a feeling. My God.

[00:55:03]

Did you say anything to you beforehand? No, I don't know.

[00:55:08]

I just got a weird feeling when I said anonymous and I was like, this is going to be some sort of like turn on me because I said you wanted my house. And I was like, OK, this is some game.

[00:55:17]

I didn't even cross my mind when one of the pronouns was fucking ghost.

[00:55:22]

I know. Well, we had one with the pronouns, Grandpa. So at this point I wrote checks out. Wow. Wow. Well, thank you, Walt. Thank you. Everybody who wrote in. That was really fun. I like that.

[00:55:34]

Wow.

[00:55:34]

Maybe we should start doing like regular like Walt's like Walt's journals are like I love that idea, like Walt entries for Patriot or something like what was it like not being around? Dear Diary. Dear Diary, it's finally quiet. Well, thank you everyone who listened to our fiftieth listeners. I've spoken to everyone who's listened to a one or all 50 of these episodes. That's so awesome. And you know, what I just realized is really creepy about this last email.

[00:56:05]

Sorry to go back to it, but that it said I told Peggy or I told her that you weren't here and she said she'd find you another time. Good night. Don't love that. Yeah, that was a weird man.

[00:56:15]

She wanted to finish a conversation we started. Oh no, no, no, no, no. We said goodbye.

[00:56:22]

OK, it was a hard goodbye.

[00:56:24]

A final fine. I'll see you later anyway. Thank you guys so much.

[00:56:29]

And if you ever want to submit your stories to future literary episodes, you can do that on our website. And that's what we drink.

[00:56:34]

Dotcom, which apparently has an episode list that I bookmarking straightaway. So thank you. And that is so helpful. I had no idea it was there. When I see it, you I say it a lot during Marvel Mondays.

[00:56:44]

I think that's the only time I ever really talk about it.

[00:56:46]

But oh my God, I'm like so mind blown. Well well, thank you for doing that. And thank you everybody for listening all the way from episode one where we made up our own stories are not really we we did. We took our friend's stories. We texted on Friday when did we tell our friends and said, give me a random name and then send me a story. They were true stories. We didn't make up the stories, but yeah, we made up the names.

[00:57:06]

But and now we have people from all over the world emailing. So it's really special. And not only that, but fifty listener episodes later, we have we went from our friends having to send the stories to people writing us stories about how we specifically ruined.

[00:57:20]

I know. Well this has come like full romba. It's like I was just say it's like a full circle but then like in the other way too. Like the double. Yeah. Like a double helix or something. All right.

[00:57:31]

Well and. That's why we drink. You see in twenty twenty one. For all you foodies out there, I'm unwrapping a McDonald's steak, egg and cheese bagel. Look at this steak and the juice running down the side. Get a little bit on the wrapper here. And then a fluffy egg and real cheese floated over the side, looking just so good. Mm hmm. Grilled onions on about a bagel, two thumbs up, a McDonald's steak, egg and cheese bagel for breakfast.

[00:58:15]

Love it. Bah bah bah bah. I participate in McDonald's.