Hey, everyone, today's guest is Adam Devine, who you know from Workaholics Modern Family, Mike and Dave need wedding dates, the righteous gemstones and the new Kubi original bad ideas. I think Adam is just hilarious. Later in the episode, I'm joined by online dating expert Mark Brooks to answer questions and offer advice about online dating, something I really know nothing about. But first, here's Adam.

Ladies and gentlemen, you are listening to Unqualified with their host unifiers. This is the big thing of my week, so this is pretty exciting. Oh, I love it. I did my hair. I took a shower. Big day. I know. Wow. Well, all right. You're engaged, right? I am. I know. We're going to jump into this for a second. Do you mind? That's where I draw the line. No, no, absolutely.

It's cool.

So are you guys going to have a wedding? Mm. Yeah, that's debatable at this point. No, we we're both pretty bad at planning. Mm hmm.

So we got engaged October of last year and then we didn't have anything on the books once the pandemic.

And then we were like just dealing with like, are we all going to die?

I know that wasn't at the forefront of our mind. And then once we realized probably more than likely won't. Then we started planning and now it's going to be the fall of next year.

So hopefully the covid rain is over and we get to be married in front of people.

Can you anticipate which party member will bring the drama?

Her family is pretty small and mine is pretty drunk. So it's for sure going to be my side of the family.

But it won't be drama. It'll just be like someone's for sure going to puke.

OK, all right. Like, without a doubt.

Like, I don't think there's going to be any fights, but definitely I'm going to have like an aunt puke in a bush and then like an uncle, I'll be like, well I love you guys, you guys care and constantly going to want to, you know, like, hit the glass and make us kiss.

That's going to be the amount of drama that maybe you witness or are privy to. I bet that your fiancee is going to have a different experience. That's true. Weddings bring out a funny quality in people where they need a little bit of attention sometimes.

Oh, you mean like not even like us.

It's like other people that are like, I know it's your big day, but actually I'm not getting attention, so.

Yeah, or like I'm really surprised you didn't invite Sophie. Oh, it's just like the little things that packet you when things feel very heightened emotionally and other people can't really wrap their head around that. I'm already kind of going through some of that right now.

I mean, like the smallest amount of that.

But like we have family that I straight up don't know, like just don't know these people at all.

I have met them when I was like nine. And then now that I'm in like TV and movies, suddenly they're like acting like we grew up together.

And I'm like, I just don't know you guys. Right. And so my mom is like, well, you're inviting them. I hope they don't. They might they might listen to everything I do.

I have no idea. Yeah. So my mom's like we send her the list of everyone we plan on fighting in case we like forgot like, oh, you forgot my sister or something. And then she's like, but what about X, Y, Z. And we're like, I don't know those people. I do I have to say yes.

But mostly I've been married twice and I'm engaged because you got to get back on that horse. Gotta jump right back in. Do you do it? I will not let the cynical side of me take me down. No, that is good.

That's probably a more healthy way to do it.

But one of the weddings my ex-husband, best friend brought like a pretty spicy lady and it was magnificent.

She was dancing on top of this fireplace mantle and she wasn't wearing any underwear. And I get a kick out of that kind of shit. Yeah, I'm not prudish, but, you know, some of the older ladies, like, kept grabbing me and like like, can you believe it or whatever, but it was a spectacle.

Yeah. That's the type of drama I want to get in. I'm like, give me that kind of drama where we can all like look back at it and laugh. You just don't want someone to be like Uncle Mike got stabbed.

So we were up at this snow lodge up in the mountain. Cool. We were at this steak house and we had taken a shuttle bus there. So there's like Dancy, whatever. Everyone's having a great time.

Everyone's wasted. And this gal thought that I was hitting on my ex husband's best friend. Her date. What? The spicy lady. This nice lady. The spice came to me. Yeah.

And it's your wedding on my wedding. Yeah.

So she's kind of in my face and I'm like the music like this is the kind of drama that I was hoping for and I'm glad that my emotional investment is pretty minimal.

Yeah. Because everyone else was just like me. This is like shit that happens in Washington State. But she goes out to this shuttle bus. The driver is somewhere and it's probably like midnight, maybe one. She takes the keys out of the ignition and she throws him out into the middle of the forest, deep into the snow as some kind of punishment for all. Ha ha.

Now, none of us will get to go to sleep tonight. Totally.

We had to wait for somebody to come so they could go, like, get some cars to bring them back, but it was great, though. It was awesome. It was. That's the way it was.

I really hope something like that happens. Yeah.

Now, did she stick around in the friend group for long? No. Yeah, she was a one hitter quitter.

It was a weekend wedding. She was there the next day in good spirits. And I was like, this is awesome. In too good of spirits.

Still no underwear. I was wearing multiple pairs actually.

Yeah, it was great. OK, I have some questions for you. I want to talk about that ideas.

That's on Quimby right now. Right. It's Equipe Ridge. It looks pretty wild. I had a little bit of a feeling of being left out when I was watching. I just want to give you a little guilt trip, Adam, as we get to know each other.

Hey, next season I'm running out of friends over here that want to do this stuff with me, but it looks crazy.

So you take your friends on these wild stunt adventures. Yeah.

So the whole premise is I take a famous friend of mine and we go do crazy stuff. I was shooting this movie called Mike and gave me wedding dates a few years ago and me and Zac Efron were Mike and Dave. And he was like, Hey, do you want to go shark diving?

And I'm like, no, but, you know, I'm trying to bond with my co-star.

So I'm like, Yeah, OK. And we go swimming with sharks.

And it was like the craziest experience of my life. There's sharks everywhere. Zac, like, rode a tiger shark, grabbed it by its fin like a psychopath.

And afterwards when we didn't die and no one got bad, I was like that was like one of the craziest things. I'm going to remember that for the rest of my life.

What if I could have a whole show where I get to do these crazy things with my good friends and we get to go on these awesome adventures and do these cool stunts, basically.

And Quimby was cool enough to be like that seems like seven minutes worth of good television and we got to kind of travel all over.

We went to Peru. What do you do in Peru? I wore a meat diaper and swam in the Amazon River to try to get piranhas to attack me.

Amazing. And did they know?

I mean, I got nicked a few times, but it turns out piranhas like don't attack like in the movies, like in the movies, like you put like a drumstick in the water and comes back up and it's just the bone.

That was the fun part of the aquarium. It was like those things like, oh, they have a cow and point three seconds.

Yeah, exactly. And that's not exactly what happened. Maybe they don't like actors. Yeah.

They could smell me coming. Yeah I like it. But the jungle was like formidable. It just kicked our ass. It was like a hundred and ten degrees and the humidity was like so thick.

We had like crew guys like pass out Anders Holm who was my co-star for that episode.

He like puked. He just as I turned around and just was like so like that was a bad idea, just being in the jungle in itself.

And then we also went and we took a ice cream truck and I didn't know how to drive a stick. So they taught me how to drive a stick at the bottom of the mountain.

And then we took one of the world's most dangerous road. Oh, good.

Along the side of this tour. Oh, yeah. It's like 800 foot steep cliff or mud road.

And it rained earlier in the day.

So I'm like falling. And people are like, yeah, so.

OK, well that sounds crazy. What precautions did you take? And we're like, what precautions? No precautions. So that was actually like very dangerous.

And then when you got to the top of the mountain, you probably sold a lot of ice cream up there.

We took the ice cream to the children of Maria, the little village at the top of the mountain.

They pay well, right? Yeah. Oh, mad coins. Yeah. The ice cream was like melted.

It wasn't like a real ice cream truck. It was like we sourced the vehicle. So it was like a giant truck that we just put coolers with ice in there.

And then it didn't keep these ice creams frozen. So we're just handing them melted ice cream like thank you.

I guess it's cool.

I think I don't know. Who did you take on that one?

That was the honors as well. He did both the Peru when we were born on the budget, so we couldn't take two people to Peru with me. What did you do with Rebel Wilson Rebel?

We did something here. We like went on one of the like Wild West backlots buy Disney Ranch, I think.

And it was like basically we were sick of just being like the comedic best friends or the like, just a comedy person. And we are action stone superheroes.

So we are going to show, like, how badass we can be and do all of our own stunts. And then Rebel was like, yeah, but I'm definitely going to use a stunt person.

So then we shot like a like a dumb, funny video where like, I'm fighting someone that's obviously rebel stunt double in. When it comes to me and she's just breaking bottles over my head left and right, and she shoots me and I fall off a three story building into some cardboard boxes, which is pretty crazy.

And then she lassoed me and then they drag me away by a horse. And that was the one that the stunt guys were like, absolutely not. We can't let you do this. And then I did it.

And it was just totally fine, really. Like sometimes I think these stunt guys, like, they want to do it. I've been said I get it. They do do dangerous stuff and they do get hurt. Sometimes you're like disparaging stuff.

I'm disparaging stunt people because the whole time they're like, you can't fall off the building and fall under the boxes. It's way too dangerous. A trained stunt person has to do it. And I'm like, but the whole point of the thing is that I'm doing the bad ideas. I can't just not do the bad ideas. And then I did it and it was totally fine.

You're affecting their livelihood. Yeah, but also who is affecting it or me or Tom Cruise? Tom Cruise doesn't let any stunt guys do any of it, so I'm still allowing them to help me with him.

I get a call from the stunt guy union. Hey. Yeah, not cool. Not cool.

And that being said, stunt guys are always the coolest people on set. You're just like, look at him.

You're like, who is this renegade cowboy?

Just a little bit and looking all cool. I know. And they have like a whole roster of different abilities. They can like roller blade.

Yeah, roller blade, like all kinds of bad ass.

They can juggle, they do face paint keyboard. OK, if you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would it be?

Maybe Italy and I would just wear nothing but linens like on the Amalfi Coast. I'm just wearing linens and fun fedoras.

Maybe you smoke cigarillos or something. Yeah, I for sure will smoke some cigarillos. I come back like eighty pounds heavier because it's just nothing but pasta and lemon cello all day.

I feel like I need you to have a boat. Yeah. No there will be some sort of boat.

OK, I'm basically just imagining the talented Mr. Ripley. Yeah of course. Yeah.

And I'm the talented Mr. Ripley in this. Oh you're the killer. Yeah, I'm a psychopathic killer. Yeah. All right.

I'll do anything. I don't care. It's my one year vacay from life. What's your favorite ice cream flavor?

Chocolate chip cookie dough. Or I might go mint chocolate chip. I'm not sure.

Maybe I'll combo those both as this question do a lot of our guests. And that seems to be the flavor that men not only don't pick but disparage.

And they're like, oh yes, that's for chicks. I eat nothing but fudge. What is the man flavor?

Vanilla, vanilla. Vanilla has been the popular man flavor.

Well, that is bizarre. I know vanilla is fine unless there's any other flavor.

I think it's like they want the option of being able to put toppings on. Oh sure. Yeah.

See, I'm not a huge topping guy. I'd rather make the ice cream itself delicious.

That's why you're going to be a wonderful husband.

You're that close. What was your first boss like?

My very first boss. I worked at a grocery store when I was 14 and his name was Chad and he was nineteen.

So it wasn't like that much older than us, but he was like our boss. And for whatever reason, he really liked me and hated my very best friend. And he wasn't like a cool boss. But then he would do crazy things. He'd be like, hey, all the beer in the beer freezer.

We have a section of beer that passed the born on date, so we have to get rid of it. Go chug as many beers as you can in the break room right now.

And I'm like fourteen, fifteen years old and I'm like, what it's.

Yeah, just go then. It's just me like chugging and you chug like four beers and at that age then you're the strongest man alive.

Totally. And then it's back to me bagging groceries while chugging those beers.

So cool. But in hindsight maybe a a dangerous personality.

OK, all right. What or who has influenced your career the most.

I would say the Hollywood Improv Comedy Club has influenced my career in a way that was my first job when I moved to L.A. I got a job working the door there.

I like loved comedy and I was like, I want to do stand up, but as a way to do comedic acting stuff.

And then I started working at the Improv and it was really like a good crash course lesson into like how to treat people because some people would come in and were just rude, like comics would come in and they're having like kind of a moment where they're famous.

You mean rude to the staff, rude to the staff.

And I'm like, oh, I never want to be like. And then you see a lot of times those people have like a good six month year run and then they crash and burn and then no one likes them afterwards because they were rude to everybody. And then you see other people who are just sweet, nice people, and then they slowly but surely climb their way up the ladder and now they're way more successful.

But they were always nice to everyone. So they're going to have some longevity. And I think that was like a good lesson to learn at it, like a pretty young age.

I started working there when I was 20, so I worked there for like two and a half years and really kind of learn the ropes that way.

Yeah, I think in this town, in this industry, it's important in all industries, but especially in hours when there's so much shifting of power. Yeah, being a considered person is really important.

Well, you got to see, like, the real, like highs and lows and how quickly it can just shift.

And some people that they're like on the top of the world and then their next movie flops or for whatever reason something happens and they're no longer on top of the world and how quickly that can come and go and how it comes in waves.

I just remembered something. Don't let everybody do open mic, Tostin. Why? That's what I want. OK, you can do it, but don't do it right before you're about to eat or just make sure you continue to eat.

Because when people are you, it's really hard to be like kind of shoveling food in your mouth and then you just end up not eating with nothing in your stomach. And they do tend to go on feeling real good.

It was like three hours of mumbo-jumbo memories that probably weren't very accurate.

Yeah, OK.

I feel like we need to have like at the Apollo where they have like the Sandman come on and like sweep you off stage.

Yeah. You might have to sign a good buddy to. Okay, who's next.

And that was hilarious. Good job. Yeah. Yeah.

OK, what talent or ability would you most like to have.

I would like to retain information better. Do you mean like lines. No, I can remember things short term. Fine.

You'd think because they say like weed smoke you lose your short term memory and I am an avid weed smoker but I can remember lines like easy.

That's not a problem. But then like if I read a book and then you quiz me on the book that I just finished reading, I don't know anything about the book.

Well, then why bother reading the book? That's been what I've been saying my entire life. Do you remember what your high school mascot was?

Yeah, we were half Indians, half patriots.

After my sophomore year, an Indian chief came to our school and was like, hey, definitely don't beat the Indians. It's offensive to us.

So then my progressive ass high school in Omaha, Nebraska, was like, you know what?

Yeah. And we changed it to the Patriots, which is hilarious because they're like they killed the Indians.

I'm like maybe a different one. Yeah, it does feel like there was an aggressive shift. Yeah, yeah.

I was like a dork. I was like in like student council and like student government and stuff. What was your position?

I made up my own position. I think I called myself like a student liaison so I could just talk on the intercom in the morning.

I love it. Yeah. So, like, I could give all the little speeches in the morning and stuff.

So you were the intermediary between faculty and students? Yeah, I was like letting them know what the students want. What do they want. They want like vending machines. They want more vending machines. Turns out those are a lot of money.

We couldn't get those. Did you communicate that well to the students?

No, it's all is politics.

Yeah. You just say it's common. Don't you worry. Good morning, Patrias. Mm hmm. I admittedly didn't want to be the Patriots. I wanted to be the Rough Riders.

Are you free just because I wanted to play that DMX song like it's going to go and give it to you.

I'm going to do you.

Don't give it to you.

Oh, I really wanted to play that at the beginning of football and basketball games. Yeah.

And then the school board came to me and was like, Adam, we can't be the Rough Riders because the Rough Riders are a condom and we think you know that.

And did you know I didn't know Rough Riders is the condom. I didn't know that.

I don't know if it's actually a condom, but isn't it like when you just have sex really rough?

I think you can spin anything into some sort of sexual thing. Sure. Like what would you do with mint chocolate chip?

Oh, that's a nasty one.

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So you were very well liked and this is what I'm getting from you, like you were in that special crowd of students, that was an elusive crowd to me.

Yeah, I don't think it was necessarily my attitude or my overall disposition that got me there. I had a bad accident when I was a kid.

Can I tell you about it? Yeah.

I'd love for you to tell me about my accident. Yes, OK. All right. I will. OK, so in 1995. That's right. We're 11. I was.

And you ran out into the street and you were hit by a cement truck.

Yeah. Yeah. You were in a coma for two weeks. True. You had to use a wheelchair and it was unclear if you would ever walk again.

Yeah, but 11. That's not that bad. Right?

And you're like, yeah, you know what? I haven't been walking that long anyways.

During that time, the two years that you were sort of recuperating, you would call into radio stations.

Yeah, I would do different characters and different voices, OK.

So, of course, that was life changing. Yeah. So in fifth grade, I moved to Omaha, Nebraska, from Iowa and I was like the new kid and I'm trying to reinvent myself, trying to like, be the cool kid and fit in. And then that summer when I didn't have many friends because I was just a new kid, I got hit by the cement truck.

And then after that I'm known as like the cement truck kid.

And so, like, elementary school kids are really nice, but middle school kids are really not nice. Like something happens like in sixth grade where they just turn in. They're like, we're me now.

But everybody in the whole school district knew who I was because I was the cement truck kid.

And I'm on the news and they're making announcements about me before I came to school.

They're like, hey, be nice to the men took Adam. Yes, truck boy.

And so, like, everyone knew me and I knew going in that I was going to have like kind of a rough go of it because it's middle school.

But I was always kind of a funny kid and my parents are really funny people. So I very quickly realized that I couldn't play sports and do the things that I would have tried to do if I wasn't crippled.

So I then would just write comedy and like write basically slams on other kids, kids that I thought were going to pick on me.

I would like write possible scenarios that they would say to me.

So then like I always had like snappy comebacks when they would like shit on me for being crippled.

We even have a truly what person shits on a kid who got hit by the oh, you know, middle school children do.

They're the only people any other age.

You're like, oh, obviously, don't pick on him. One thing, no one would fight me because no one's going to fight the crippled kid. So I could say anything.

So then from there on I think it helped. People knew who I was, so I was able to be a liaison.

Mom, did you go to your prom?

I did, yeah. Did you have a good time? Yeah.

I mean, yeah, from what I kind of remember, yeah. We had a good time I think. Was it a magical night that you had always dreamed of that?

You know, it was fun. I think we left early by senior year.

I think we were kind of done being in high school. So we were just like, cool. All right, see ya. And then went to a party.

I think it was the change in mascot that kind of bummed you out. Yeah.

If you were a Rough Rider, you would have fucking loved prom.

Oh, because the entrance song. What a band. Pampena na na na na na na na na na na.

Oh yeah. Then for sure. Yeah. You would have had your agenda pushed through.

I know, I like that. I was like a young senator when I was like 16 years old and then that immediately changed.

But I was just trying to push my condom wearing agenda which by the way, as a high school student, you would think that they would like a condom name. That's safe sex. And that's important.

Omahaw, though, I don't know. Yeah, I think that was the push back. It was the location now. We were in Sokal, we might have been able to push that one through my brother, he's a sociologist and he does a lot of research on bullying and high school hierarchy.

And his conclusion is that the most popular students are the least likely to bully and the least popular students are the least likely to be bullied. They're more of like the just the outliers. Yes.

You didn't need to climb nowhere because you are near the top. I was at the top.

Yeah. It's been a real fall from grace since since high school for me.

Yeah. I think probably I was pretty popular and I do contribute most of that to being the cement truck kid. It was like me being in that wheelchair and just being funny, but then like having the wheelchair to be like, who's that wheelchair kid?

It was sort of like being a star basketball player, like a kid that could dunk early. But instead of having any height or athletic ability, if I was friends with you, you got to get out early and push me to my next class.

So I had him. Are you now ready to confess on my podcast that you ran in front of the cement truck on purpose?

Yeah, I was like, this is my time to shine. This was a horrible idea.

All I have to hypocenter. Yes. Now, Ragan Burris will finally talk to me. Oh, Reagan. Yeah.

Solid. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. You don't forget about Reagan. Have you gone to any of your high school reunions?

I went to my 10 year uh, it was my position in student council to be the one to plan all of them.

Oh man. That's the kind of shit you don't anticipate having to actually do. Yeah, for sure. For the tenure, the more responsible people that were in the student council that actually have gone on to, like, hold responsibility in their job, they listen to my podcast.

So, hey, Ashley Bolt and Keegan needed epi. Please help me play in the 20th. That's coming up in a few years. Yeah. So I went to the tenth, but it was for sure that these responsible women helped me plan it.

And then the fifteen was also falling on my shoulders.

But I'm like, you know what ruined like high school reunions is we all know what each other does, not what we do, because Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and everything, social media in general, we know what everybody's up to.

Yeah, I have one friends that I'm still in touch with. I was like D plus C minus on the social high, which is kind of the worst place you could be.

But I wore a Christmas tree skirt in defiance of my position as a cape for a while to school.

Oh, I love that we would have been friends, I think in high school.

I know you would have been kind because I was kind of angry, too, from what I remember, because, you know, it's hard to have very accurate personal reflection on how you were perceived. You remember kind of what you felt, but it's how did you cover it up?

Because I hated everybody. Yeah. It was just like this is oppression and forced to serve my time.

Where did you go to high school?

I went to Edmands would be high school. We were the Warriors. They called us the Rainbow Warriors. Where in Washington State. In Washington State. Yeah, I like that.

You were like, yeah, that's what I figured. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well you said something about that earlier.

So see short term memory.

It's there, it's there. You ask me tomorrow. I won't even remember doing this podcast.

Oh good.

You know, OK, this is your talent or ability that you most like to have is to retain, retain information like my fiance can watch a show or a movie and then afterwards will be talking to me about the show or the movie and use all their names as if I remember any of their names.

I think she's fucking with your head.

No, she does. She can just remember what she does. But I bet that it helps that you don't.

Yeah, that's probably true. You know what I mean? That she knows that I don't. And she can just make up names if she wants. Yeah.

OK, what is a trait you dislike in others. A trait I dislike in others. Just being too tall or chill. I know.

Chill with all that hype like that's too much going to bump your head on stuff.

I come from a tall family and I'm now five four but not without a lot of struggle.

You know, for my identity was short.

I was the short term drama Christmas tree wearing a Christmas cape, whatever it is, Christmas tree skirt as a cape. That was my identity. So anyway, I feel you on that.

I love your Christmas tree cape. I look back at photos and didn't realize. How much hemp I wore as a wardrobe did you have, like, cool, like thick hemp necklaces? I did that for you sake. I had necklaces, I had a belt, I had a chain wallet. I had a bracelet.

It was way too much. Did you hacky sack, too. I hacky sack.

That was the only sport I was good at because I couldn't run.

So like by the time I got to high school I could walk at that point.

Now when you talk about the sport, you excelled at what is hacky sack in strategy like it's the ability to look like an idiot and then continue to look like that idiot for the longest period of time because you don't look cool. Hacky sack.

No one does. You also get way sweatier than just a normal sport because you're just constantly picking up your knees.

And it's like the ultimate like Jazzercise class with your giant Jenko jeans and your. I actually didn't wear Genco. I was a dungarees man personally, but yeah, I just hacky sack threw every lunch period.

Do you think that singular idea of focus is that the appeal to hacky sack, that it really doesn't require any strategy or thought?

Yeah, I mean, maybe I guess I just wanted everyone to know that I had started smoking weed.

I think that's what helped me get in deep into hacky sack was all about.

I have to tell you, I don't mean to attack Hacky Sack. Actually, it taps into me feeling left out because no one wanted a hacky sack with you.

Yeah, I felt like the circle was already tight. Like, how do I break in?

I feel like we would have brought you. It would have lost me. Circle. Yeah I think so. You would have. Well what. That is gurt. You're in any circle at Apple. You know it was a cape. Even better are my standard special.

I talked about how I wish I had a cape just because I think the end of every joke would be better if at the end you could just like flourish the cape.

This is a genius idea. It's great. I said on the special how awesome it would be if I just worked the entire special and then never mention it because incredible.

How funny would it be for people to be like, oh shit, he's going to talk about the cape. Yeah, look at this.

Oh my God, he's wearing a cape. That's hilarious. And then they get like thirty minutes in and they're like, he must be closing with the Cape material, he must be ending with the Cape.

And then when the show's over and they're driving home, then like, I fucking hate that guy. He didn't talk about Cape one time.

Can you and your next special please wear a cape.

Just wear a cape the entire time. Yeah, well, I think it would test the loyalty of your fans, though.

Yeah, that's true. That's what you want to do is cultivate the.

Yeah. The ones in the know there's push there limits to how much they like you to the absolute brink.

Oh you're the first person I've asked that question that has mentioned anything physical with what. A cape. What. No. What is a trait you dislike in others.

Oh sure. You're like height, height just because that's kind of what I don't have.

So yeah, maybe that it is off putting.

I like a huge basketball fan, so like I have season tickets for the Clippers and have for like the past six or seven years now. And so I've become friends with some players now when I'll see them out and about like for instance, DeAndre Jordan, great guy, he was a center for the Clippers and we're friendly with each other. So we'd always try to talk. But we're always like at a nightclub or like a bar restaurant when we're trying to talk to each other and it's always too loud.

And so I'm screaming up to him.

He has to like, bend down, which immediately, like, I just feel like a little kid talking to him. And then we both just kind of give up trying to hear each other.

It's like, OK, we both like each other, but good to see. I'm going to be down here with with my people and you be up there with your folks.

OK, what is a trait you dislike in yourself? Well, one my forgetfulness, I will say, like, I'm always embarrassed when I meet someone and they're like, good to see you.

And at the same time, I'm like, good to meet you. And they're like, we've met. And remember when we and I'm like, yeah.

And so that's embarrassing.

And then also, like, I do have a bit of an ego and I think it's not like as bad as I think through experiences that I've had kind of coming up in this industry, I've been able to clock that I have an ego and know how to check it in the right times. But yeah, I do have a bit of one.

I mean, you have to. You have to. Yeah. Or else like you're not going to do anything. Yeah.

I think it's a really difficult thing to sort of calibrate.

Sometimes you're always having to adjust it and just go like, OK, that's my ego getting in the way of this situation. And then sometimes you're like you need to have an ego to go after certain things.

Yeah. To be like, you know what? I should be the one to have that role or I should be the one to.

Like, every stand up has just a huge ego, because you have to feel like you're good enough to take a microphone and talk to people for an hour and be entertaining and interesting enough to have people be like, yeah, I want to listen to that guy.

You're truly a one man band. Mm hmm. OK, what is your favorite rainy day movie?

Do you remember a demolition man with Wesley Snipes and Sylvester Stallone? Damn deep cut.

Love it. For whatever reason, when I was a kid, that movie just connected with me. I'm like there in the future. Sandra Bullock being all cute, Wesley Snipes being a psycho.

Who was the demolition man? It was Stallone's character. Was his name John. John something. I'm blanking on his name, but they froze him.

And then he came back 30 years later to fight his arch nemesis, Wesley Snipes character and Dennis Leary's.

And it's a great movie. All right.

Who would you call if you got food poisoning and couldn't really move? My mom probably.

I would say she's of great a comforter. Moving on.

OK, do you have a favorite book or author?

I love Malcolm Gladwell. I read all of his books. I just find it really interesting. But I always say Gary Paulsen Hatchet, which is a book that you read when you're in like seventh grade and it never leaves you.

I read that book so many damn times. I loved it so much. And it's about a little boy who's going on a trip and his plane crashes and now he's in the Canadian wilderness and all he has is a hatchet and he must survive.

He's not just going on a trip, though. His parents are getting divorced. I wonder if that really resonated during your time after some interest.

It for sure was during that time that I read it. So it must have been and must have been like all I need is my hatchet and my mom's like, right in your hatchet, you're in a wheelchair. You're not just going to sit here with a hatchet like a psychopath.

All right. What qualities do you look for in a romantic partner?

I think I and I did selfishness, selfishness, just hot.

I think intelligence. And I didn't know that about myself going in until you look back at, like, my serious girlfriends and all were very smart women.

So I think I want someone smarter than me, which isn't that hard, but I want someone who's pretty intelligent, too. So then I can hopefully tweak some of that intelligence off of them.

Love that you compliment your past girlfriend or at least recognizing a pattern and what you were drawn to. That's cool. I like that. Yeah, just that in big tits, huh.

Yeah. And just a sweet ass sea. I cut that, I cut my question out.

Yeah.

You're going to edit the intelligence part away and it's just me. It just a sweet ass.

What qualities do you look for in a friend.

Probably loyalty.

All my friends, like my close friends I've been friends with since like eighth grade.

They've just been in my life for absolutely ever. And we're still really, really good friends.

Do you think that part of having a long friendship is really understanding patterns of communication? Sure. Like if you deliver a sarcastic comment very dryly or something like maybe new people in your life, you know what I'm saying?

New people life might not pick up on would be like, oh, wow, that's rude or whatever. Right, right. Right. I think it's maybe the safety of like understand that you won't offend anybody. That's absolutely true. Yes. Yeah. OK, on what occasion do you lie?

I don't know. I mean, maybe for sure.

Like within stand up and maybe like telling a story, you embellish certain parts to make it funnier or leave certain parts out because it's boring. Maybe that one I'm trying to be funny.

I feel like you may have like the healthy level of ego where you don't really need to lie. Yeah, don't lie that often.

I'd say I am not much of a liar. Well, also, like the truth is usually the funniest thing. So just say that usually if you say the truth unabashedly, people are OK with it.

I'm not a great liar and I'm not comfortable doing it. What's weird, you know, there's a difference between not saying something rude and lying, you know what I mean? Yes. Yes.

If somebody is like, hey, do I look fat in this? And then you're like, you look like a cow. You look gigantic in that. Yeah.

That is way too small for you.

Instead of going like, no, but maybe we find a different outfit or whatever.

I mean not that often. Or my friends asking, do I look fat in this. But I guess that would be an example. My dude friends are like, do I look fat now. Yeah.

That hat makes your head look huge. I'll say it.

I'll say. All right.

To whom would you most like to apologize and why?

You know, maybe ex-girlfriends that I didn't treat our relationship with. The respect that it probably that it definitely deserved and then I was immature.

Well, I think it's hard in your 20s when so much of the focus has to be on your ambition, right?

Yeah, I felt like sometimes I was, like, just too worried about my own thing and not worried about them or their feelings.

Why don't you use this opportunity right now to name them?

Go ahead, Adam. I'll give you this gift. I would like to. This one goes out to people.

Is there a moment in your career or personal life that you're most proud of? Yeah, I would say career because we created workaholics. And that was our idea from the very beginning. We pitched it and then wrote every episode and produced everything in the edit bay and the feeling of satisfaction when we are done, especially with that first season when you like, realized we had done it and it's in the can and we did it and we were really proud of it.

It is such a great show, Adam. Thank you so much.

They really let us do what we wanted to do.

And the whole time we were like, we think it's great. We love it. Hopefully it'll resonate with people just finishing that first season before even knowing how people are going to like it. Yeah, and we are shooting at the house where we actually lived in the house together.

So like we wrapped.

But I'm just at home now, like I'm just in my living room, which is the living room on the TV show.

So I remember just like laying in the front yard and just all the like, weight of pressure of like doing your first TV show.

And, you know, I was like 25 years old, so I was like pretty young to have all that responsibility and to feel like we did it was the best had to have had. Yeah.

OK, we're going to go into workplace. What would you do's ok. All right. Your boss asks you to hand in a report by the end of the week. Yeah.

And I relate to that. I'm always having a hand in reports. You always have deadlines.

I constantly have reports to while working hard on the final numbers, you notice an account that seems to be skimming small amounts of money into a private account.

OK, yep.

When you talk to your boss about it, he breaks down crying and he admits he's using the money to pay for his mistresses.

Let's make a boob job. So what do I do? And I mean. Well, do you report him to he's the boss like that.

He is federalism. He's got a superior that you're pretty chummy with to his boss.

This is a corporate gig that I'm working. Yeah. So what do you do? Honestly, I don't know if it was like a mom and pop shop. And I'm like, oh, I see this person's robbing this person. And I know, like, the people that own the company. And I'm like, well, that's fucked up. Like, this is a family and you're just robbing from them then I probably would. If it's like a big corporation, I would probably feel less protective over it.

OK, how about this one?

OK, well, eating a chewy steak at the TGI Friday's across the street from your office, you slice your finger open with a steak knife.

OK, maybe you don't really know how to use a knife. Very well. Let's throw that in there. Let's say I don't know how to use utensils, so they're all new to me.

I'm just limp wristed trying to smack it against chewy steak.

Totally. So blood pools on the plate next to your garlic. Salted jazz fries. Mm hmm. Yum.

Just then, Emmi, the account lead from the very lucrative Anderson project you're trying to get on to, slips into the booth across from you.

And she smiles.

Hey, at um and she's like, can I steal a fry? And she grabs a fry and she dips it into what she thinks is ketchup. It's your blood. What do you do? I stop her. You do.

I'm not going to let me eat my blood. Yeah. I'm going to say, hey, Amy Kleinman. Why I'm bleeding very badly. Amy, please call nine one one. And then you know, what that does is that bonds us together.

And then she's going like, oh, my God, he could have let me eat the fry and then he and trust me to call 911.

Are you sure? Yeah. No, you're overestimating Amy know Amy's Amy School? I don't know.

I think behind your back she's going to say like he's not proactive. He like he cut his hand. He wasn't able to do anything. I'm not even sure he knows how to use utensils very well. I don't think he's good for the project.

Well, that is true. I don't know how to use utensils, but she didn't see me cut myself, so she doesn't know that. That being said, I cut my finger, right? Yeah. How am I going to stop the blood from coming out? You've got to compress the wound, right? I'm doing that with my other hand. How am I going to call 911?

You can do it with your napkin and you.

Yeah, but you have to the also there's staff around at their Emmies right there.

And now I bring her into my circle. Now she's come in and then we have a bond. I'm locking eyes with her. I wasn't doing this.

And she goes, correct assumption that Emmy is a Kathy. Take her, she is not. No, no, no, no, I'm not saying she's a girl. She had to have her boyfriend. Yeah. Who was hit by a cement truck for two years.

And she really, really loves this guy. OK, well, he seems like the winner in this situation, but I'm locking eyes with me, OK?

Yeah, I'm locked eyes with her. And now all of a sudden there's a bond. There's a connection here. And then she visits me at the hospital because they have to amputate my fingers multiple.

I lose two fingers from this. Whoa. Which one's both? Both. So you think that M is going to put you on the project? How are you going to be able to type?

Well, hey, guess what? What? I'm going to take six months of workers comp and I'm going to be at the house because I can't type.

But when I'm home, all I'm thinking about is how to just up the sales and also productivity.

Yeah, productivity and also making sure the supply chain there's no kinks in the armor or chink in the armor.

Whatever that phrase is, there's no chinks or kinks.

OK, so you truly are the liaison. I'm the liaison to. I'm like, you're coordinating everybody together. Yeah.

Yeah. See, and it comes full circle.

Would you be a good like SAG representative on a set? Like, it's always the weirdest. Oh, it is so odd because they're coming into, like, your set, we're like you kind of know everybody and then they're like whispering to you. They're like, are they treating you? Go ahead.

And you tell our listeners what the SAG representative, what happens in that world.

So we're part of the Screen Actors Guild and a representative comes to every set that you're on. And they're there to make sure that everyone's up to par with all the SAG rules and doing everything by the books.

And basically so producers aren't like making actors do something they're not comfortable with or doing things that are illegal, which for sure, you know.

Yeah, that seems like a good thing on paper, but 99 percent of the time everything's by the books and you have absolutely no problem and it's perfectly good.

But they come on set and it's your set. So you're like protective over kind of everybody else.

And then the stranger comes in and then takes you off, usually by the craft service table when you're just trying to eat a red wine or something.

And they're like, hey, how are you? Yeah, I'm you look sag. Yeah, my name's Laurie.

So here's my card.

And just let me know if anything, if anything is going wrong. Just I'm here for you, OK?

And everybody's like looking at you and I call every time. I'm like, hey, the producer is a creep and is also he is making me do super dangerous, illegal stuff.

So get them fired and make me producer thinks the last time I called my SAG representative, I told her that I was tired of only having sloppy Joes on Tuesday. I want them on Thursday, one sloppy Joe Tuesday and Thursday.

And then it happened. See, and that's how we flex our power.

You definitely want a whole crew eating sloppy Joes twice a week.

You have to, especially if we're shooting in a tightly confined space.

OK, the person in the cubicle next to you listens to very loud music.

OK, what type of music we were going to get. OK, but thankfully with headphones on, OK, however, they have these solo from Stairway to Heaven as the ringtone and they never hear it ringing and they get upwards of 15 to 20 calls a day. Additionally, their text message sound is the little John. Yeah. Of which they receive close to 100 daily. This person fundamentally makes you uncomfortable. Yeah, maybe he's really tall.

Yeah. Yikes. Okay.

Do you ask him to turn his phone on silent? Let's say this person has a slightly superior role to you. Like it's just under the bus. You're just under this person.

OK, you do. And what you do is you go, hey, I don't mean to be rude, but I won't shut up about how it annoys her. So you will backstab.

It's not looking good for Anna. I don't know what she's going to do, but she seems like a loose cannon and we've got to nip this in the bud.

So then when she ever comes to me, like in the coffee room, Mom, this is how little you've been in an office.

You call it the coffee room. It's the break room.

The break room in the bistro corner. Yeah.

Well, anyway, when Trevor comes up to me in the bistro and is like, hey, Adam said that you want me to turn my ears, you have a problem with that?

Why didn't you mention anything before?

Like, you can just come to me, you know, and then what you do, I'm going to say, yeah, Trevor, it's true.

My uncle pretty much raised me and he loved Stairway to Heaven and he passed away last year.

And every time I hear it, it reminds me and I'm sorry I didn't want to make I try not to bring my emotions into the office. I admire what you do, Trevor. I just didn't think it was my place to bring some of these emotions to the workplace. So, yeah, forgive me. I told Adam this in confidence.

It is a personal thing. And then he comes back to me after that and goes, wow, you know what?

I didn't know that she felt that way. I didn't know about her uncle. Did you know about her Uncle Mike? Obviously I know.

But her uncle, we talk and then he stops with the Stairway to Heaven. But guess what? He doesn't stop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that's when I say, hey, I'm actually related to little John. He's my stepdad. Oh, yeah. And he's like, whoa, you are.

I love Little John.

And I'm like, I can get you a signed little John pillowcase. What. Yeah. And he's like, what exactly.

But you have to stop this Trevor. Don't be an asshole. And he's like, whoa, see. And then I took the power back from him but he wants something for me now because he really wants that pillowcase. And so I'm like, you got to stop that. And he's like, all right, I will stop that. You give me that pillowcase and we're good. And also, do you get a raise out of this whole thing? Probably.

I intimidate Trevor. I'm not sure you do.

I just said you're being a dick. I called him out.

I took the power five way of little John. By way of little John, this is chess, this isn't checkers, OK? Do you have an irrational fear?

No, I'm actually like and I think this goes back to, like, wanting to do the bad idea show. And this sounds insane, but I'm like, really not afraid of really hardly anything.

Is that because you got hit by a cement truck when you were 11? I bet it does.

I bet it does go back to that.

Even the things that I am afraid of I still like to do because I end up liking to do the things I'm afraid of doing, which is a stupid answer.

I wish I could just say, like spiders, but, you know, doesn't spook me.

I'm kind of with you. I have fear, but I guess most people don't concede that their fears are irrational.

So I guess they should rephrase that question.

No, I think some people are like, oh, my God, snakes.

But if I said, is that an irrational fear? Like, I think that most people would say that's not irrational.

Fairly irrational. Yeah. They could bite you and would suck. Yeah. You know what? For the bad idea, I was really afraid to do some of the stuff.

We did a thing where we like this abandoned airplane that we put a ton of snakes on to do, like Snakes on the plane type thing.

And then it was my job to get on and take all the snakes off with like Kliper with no training at all.

And, you know, these are snakes. And we did a rattlesnake like a real rattlesnake.

Yeah. So that was crazy. But I will say that I don't like snakes.

I don't want to be like wrapped in snakes. It just feels weird to me.

But as soon as the camera was on me, the fear went right out my head. And I was just an actor playing the part of a guy playing a snake wrangler. And I could just do it.

And the same thing with, like the shark things that I've done. And I've been on Shark Week and, you know, we like tag tiger sharks and stuff like that.

And it literally was as soon as the cameras went on me, the the camera keeps you safe.

Yeah, for sure. It yeah. It was like I was thinking the sharks are part of the Screen Actors Guild are sag.

Yeah. So they have talent when they smell it. Yeah.

All right. Hey Adam, for what historical figure would you start a fan club. Um, well how. Like they have to be dead. I don't know. There aren't any rules.

There's no rules here. Not really. Jonas Salk. Yeah. Man, that guy was a really smart guy. All right. And appropriate right now.

Fuck. Yeah. Yeah.

Let's get some vaccines. Golman Let's cook up some vaccines.

OK, I like that. The Jonas Salk fanclub.

Yeah. Polio vaccine. Heard of him. Heard of a match that was perfect.

It was like appropriate. It's like ego gratifying in the way that actors need to be validated. Yeah. You know, you're like, oh smart boy Adam.

Yeah. I got myself on the head.

I don't think I could have pulled that out. I bet you could have. I don't know. No, I don't think so. Yeah. Who would you invite to your dream dinner party, let's say four or five people.

Buraq, I want to chat that guy up also Donald Trump because I want to see those two go toe to toe.

I bet it'd be a really insane dinner party and then, you know, you got to throw in some like I think Chapell.

I'd like him to be there and then Roseanne and we have her sing the national anthem before we start the dinner.

And the dinner is just a plate of hot dogs and have it just be the most American dinner that we could possibly get.

Hot dogs and accouterment. Oh, well, yeah, there's buns, there's relish and mustard and ketchup and all.

You have to plate yourself or somebody's plate you with your preference.

No, we're plating ourselves. This is pretty low key. It's in our backyard. We're drinking beer. All right. All right, all right. Do we have Michelle and Melania?

No, I don't think so.

I think yeah, I think it's just just this career. Michelle, if she was there, she would have given, like, a really poignant, funny story. And then Melania would be like, I have a story, too. And it's kind of the exact same story. And you're like, oh, right.

Was that the same story? Huh? You're right. Did they just say the same story? Yeah. And you're like, nah was a little different.

So then you kind of give it the benefit of the doubt so that be cool too. So yeah, I guess they can come.

They can come. Yeah they can come. All right. Yeah. Oh I'm back on now. If you're a president you get a plus one.

I think that's kind of mandatory.

Like if you were ever a president you will get a plus one wherever you go.

Like that's a law.

I, I don't know if it's like an actual I don't know. I think it's a social law. Just a plus one. Yeah, just the plus one. I like it plus one anywhere plus one anywhere.

Like let's say you're having a house party and you become buddies with Barack. I'm going to say, hey Barack, listen, there's no plus ones at this party. I'm really sorry.

And he's like, I'm bringing Michelle. Was that a good bra? And that's pretty good. Yeah.

Lorne Michaels is like, ring, ring. Can you do it next year, huh? Adam, in one word, how would you like to be remembered, boombastic, boombastic, boombastic kharma, sure, fantastic. And they're like, well, that like, I don't know what that means exactly, but it seems pretty fun.

I think that's the best answer we've received so quick to almost like I didn't put much thought into it at all.

You be great on the red carpet. Yeah. Hey, Adam, thank you so much for doing this. I had a really nice time. I had a great time. Thanks for having me. Yeah. Thank you. Bye, Adam.

Awesome. Hey, everyone, I would like to introduce you to Mark Brooks, who has been working in the Internet dating world for more than 20 years. Mark is a consultant for the most successful Internet dating companies in the world and has a unique understanding of how they work. Hi, Mark, thank you so much for joining us today. I'm pleased to be here and hopefully I can help out with some of these folks.

Will you tell our listeners a little bit about what you do? Sure.

So I work with Internet dating companies. Back in nineteen ninety six, I started an adventure club in Silicon Valley and it grew and it was a single club that wouldn't admit to being a single step. We never really said we were a singles club because that would have been not not good, really. It's about 95 percent of the people are single. And then a funny thing started happening. People started meeting and married. And I thought that's a lot of responsibility.

I got invited to a wedding. I was like, wow, people are changing their lives based on this little club.

So I took an interest in the early Internet dating companies back then, and I ended up working with one in two thousand called Hyper Match, which was rather like eHarmony, but way before eHarmony. And then I found my way to work with Cupid Dotcom as you worked with Friendster first. And then I thought, well, I like the dating site, I'm going to go with that. So I ended up being VP of Cupid in 2004 and then started calling Brooks mugger's, a consultancy and never look back.

It's been, well, 15 years now, so I worked directly with the CEOs of dating companies.

My job is to try and grow the entire industry. Really, that's how I see it these days. So I run something called the Internet Dating Excellence Association. When we talk about Internet dating, it's very much an art figuring out who to date, what to do next. And it's really kind of a scary thing for a lot of people. It scared me. So maybe you can bring some order to all this craziness. And that's what dating apps seek to do, really bring a bit of order, make it a bit easier.

But in some ways, I think they've made it too easy.

Interesting. You must believe, of course, that this is the future of intimacy.

I think there's people who would agree with that, but I don't think we're anywhere near there for a very key reason why. And that is that we think we know, but we don't really know what compatibility is. Oh, wow.

OK, well, this is a lot to think about, and I know I'm going to have more questions for you, but let's if you don't mind, let's call Katie first.

Hello. Hi, Katie, it's on. Oh, my God. Hi. Hi, Katie. I'm here with Mark Brooks.

He's a dating business expert. Hello, Katie. Katie, full disclosure here. I don't even know what a dating app looks like. I'm a serial monogamist. Like truly, I think I've been on maybe three dates in my life. I tend to meet somebody, fall really hard, and then I'm with them for a decade or more, hopefully. So, Katie, will you tell us what's happening? Yeah.

So I kind of have the exact opposite problem. I'm so awful at dating and I'm so awful at maintaining relationships. I'm twenty six. I've never had a long term relationship the longest I've had with about five and a half months. And there's kind of like a lot of reasons for that. There's a little bit of a timeline. I went to an all girls school, first of all, so I learned a lot of options to be there right out of high school.

I went to university in the States, but I actually had to drop out after a couple of years for health reasons. And then I was out of school for a while in this period of time where everyone was like nineteen early twenties, getting out there, meeting people that they're still with today, or at least getting a relationship experience and dating experience. I kind of skipped through that whole period of time. And then fast forward to what I'm like.

Twenty three. Twenty four. And I finally started dating but this is where everything was done through dating app and it just makes me so nervous. And I, I was never myself on them. I never really got to like a second or third date with most men. I had one relationship that lasted about six months and we met through work. Aside from that, it's been like zilch. And I have an OK time talking to guys and then I just get so nervous when it comes to actually making the date and seeing them in person.

I have a lot of trust issues, but I've worked to this place where I really do want a partnership and I'm ready to put myself out there and now the pandemic hit. So I guess my question is, how do I maintain this trust and the desire for a partnership now that I'm pretty much restricted to online dating?

My how would a young person be their authentic self? And then also, how do you truly get to know somebody in an online dating world?

I think dating apps are a good way to go to kind of get the tough questions out of the way, right up front, and also feel more comfortable about having a conversation with folks in the context of dating. You know, it's very intimidating. Gosh, I remember one of the dates I had when I was single. I just went overboard. I went too far. I just I put too much effort in.

Did it scare her? I think I did. Yeah, I did feel like dating takes practice is a point.

You've got to know what some of the rules are of the game.

I don't know what they are at all. I have a terrible time making small talk. I'm terrible at like recognizing red flags because I love to give people the benefit of the doubt. I'm dismissive of my own pet peeves.

You know, I'm maybe I'm not the best judge of character of it, but I wouldn't even know how to, especially on a dating profile, because to me, the little that I know, it feels like the questions are too simplistic.

Oftentimes I do feel bad because lately I think to do the thing where I talk to someone and it's pretty easy going and I find like a couple of phone calls a guy who look like, OK, so if you want to go in a socially distant past date and then I go, I go because I get so nervous and I'm like, oh, I don't really want to or I'll make up excuses. I've gone through this really bad habit of running away the moment I get close to actually kind of getting to know.

Right. I just don't know if people are genuine. I don't know what their profile, if they're just kind of put this front, if they're going to be extremely insane in person. I don't know if it's safe. I don't know.

But Katie, I mean, your relationship was five and a half months. I mean, do you want this or are you feeling societal pressure maybe to want it?

That's a good point. I think about that sometimes. I think that maybe at this point I'm just like one twenty six. I still have it. Maybe I just should I think if I want it. But you're also right. It could just be this feeling of well now and even closer to 30. And I've never had a relationship. It feels like the longer I go, the weirder it's going to look.

You know what, Katie? The time line pressure that we have is very real and it's not always applicable to everybody, you know, I mean, this is your life and your desires. And if you crave companionship in that way, that's one thing. But your feelings of not feeling very safe in this realm makes me wonder how you can find safety in online dating. And Mark, maybe you have some suggestions.

I think there's some realities of Internet dating which are really important to understand, and that is that people who flip, you know, I'm not sure the word lie is the right word because people exaggerate and. They change the numbers, you know, that guy who's five foot 10 and a half might say he's six foot, and that's because a lot of women will search for a guy who's six foot. And so there's some certain economics around Internet dating, which kind of makes people flip, which is interesting.

Mark, do you think that men tend to fib more than women?

We fib about different things. Hair, for example, I we put up a photograph of the full head of hair because we like that photograph from 10 years ago when we had a full head of hair.

You know, weight and height and hair tend to be the things that people lie about in general. You know, I remember being on a profile some years ago and I thought, am I athletic? I want to be athletic. So I take the athletic box. There's no athletic, but I wanted to be. So sometimes when people are filling out their profiles, I tend to be aspirational, like, yeah, I'm going to be there in a couple more months.

I'm going to lose weight. I'm going to be athletic. So you get my drift. People are lying to themselves as much as they're lying to you and it's fibbing. So in fact, there was a survey real me put out recently and they found that three in four online daters admit to having misrepresented themselves on their dating profile. So this is the reality. But the context of the economics makes it kind of fair. If you think about it, the worst thing is to show up on a date and think you're meeting someone and you meet someone who's quite different.

And I think that's where video really helps. I think that kind of context is good for practice. It's safer. So, Katie, you can have one on one dates. You don't need to go on a date. You can do the date online first. Don't just go out and meet someone just looking at their photographs. Think of it as part of the verification process. You can see if they looked the same. Some of the services integrate background checks and have kind of authentication.

That's an important element. That's where the industry is going next is more authentication of verification like face verification. So your concerns are real, but use video and then you get a better sense of people in your email, you write, can I just walk into a Starbucks or in my case, a Tim Hortons and start talking up a guy?

And you also write, I'd really like to go out with someone who isn't just looking to hit it and split. Yeah, I think the positive about dating apps or speed dating is that I do believe that most of the people on there are wanting to be in a relationship or wanting to date at least. Absolutely right. So at least you're eliminating the dude at Tim Hortons that might have a fiancee or whatever and leaving you with a little bit of, like, vulnerable feeling.

I love it when people have gumption and courage, though. And if somebody is attractive or interesting to you, Katie, I love the idea of being courageous and saying, I think you're handsome. I don't know if you're single or not, but here's my number and what I mean.

I love that idea.

I have no idea how to actually implement that because I think happy to scare some of my friends in Los Angeles before quarantine or on dating apps.

And they complained that they would meet somebody and be texting with them or whatever, communicating maybe through the app and then never meet up. And they would be doing that for like a few weeks. Mark, what is that phenomenon?

Is it just like flirty sexting, like these are other people in relationships? What is the actual fear? I mean, now it's obviously the landscape has completely changed, but what is the fear of actually meeting in real life and what is like the safety that online dating can also provide to? And then like with what you do, how do we figure out if somebody has the same goals that you have?

Yeah, so we try and bring people together that are compatible, but we also try and make money. And one of the ways that we make money is by you know, we get a lot of choice. And actually the more choice we give you, the less likely you are to choose. So in some ways, you've got to be aware of the dynamic of dating apps. Is there a business to make money? And it's a funny business because if we do a good job, we lose you forever.

So be aware of that. There's a lot of people pulling levers and designing apps that bring you joy in the sheer choice.

Oh, interesting.

You know, I think the best antidote to feeling fear and dating is to get out in twenty dates, go out and say, I'm going to go on twenty dates once I go out. I mean, go on a video app these days. I don't think it's good practice to go out during this time on 20 dates, but you can do twenty dates online very quickly and really get a sense of yourself and the other person. You know, maybe you'll strike it lucky, but ultimately you're going to get to know yourself through the people you're meeting and build up the skill of dating.

And it is a skill and a comfort level and you've got to be prepared to be disappointed at some stage. But what we're trying to do is read. The disappointment by increasing the safety when a guy is interested in a woman, he has to communicate to things that he's interested and we're real good at that. We've got no problem with that.

He also needs to give an indication that he's safe. And that's where Internet dating has had a hard time until recently.

Would you feel like going on 20 dates, Katie? I would take that challenge and really do that. Katie, we're on to something. Excellent. What if they're all charmed by me, though, and they all love me after? Of course they will.

Good. Then you're going to have to bring all 20 of them to Mark and myself, and then we will decide for you. Oh, OK.

I'm into it for 20 date challenge. Excellent. Mark, what dating apps would you recommend for Katie for her specific purposes?

You know, there's a way to help you kind of warm up to this video dating context. Even I'd recommend checking out make me a fan of the mode of the way they do video, which is one to many.

So you don't even need to do the video. You can actually watch other people dating. You can watch other people doing a one on one date to see what they do. And it's fun to watch. You can give them advice. It's a nice way to give them a different time. You can kind of comment. Yeah. And you can see a stream of like what people are saying.

It's just very it's like don't order the sea bream anything you want within reason, of course. Yeah. I mean, it's an open forum with two people dating and then you kind of vote if you think they should continue.

So we're seeing this kind of evolution now so that if you are not so keen on doing video, you can kind of practice up, see what other people are doing, see how it works, and then dip in. If you spot somebody that you really want to have a chat with, well, it could be another person in the date. It could be another person in the thread. So someone makes a comment that you'd like to have a chat with them, instant message them, and then you jump into a date with them.

And that's the beauty of it. So I like that is a nice way to warm up to video dating all the majors. Now do a video one to one.

Katie, I love this idea.

And what if, like, number three is the is the one, but I think it's a great way, at least. At least if you do like three, it's a great way to dip your toe in.

The thing is, it's good to have some commitment to the process, though. So I think the whole. All right. Is all right once you get into it.

Laying down the law I like.

Yeah, but literally, I mean, you'll know when you've met someone that you really like because you want to spend time with them. I think that's the essence of love, really, is that you just can't get enough of them. So it's very important to commit to the process because dating apps will find and introduce you to people who are single and available. I guarantee you're going to have some bad experiences. You're going to feel very uncomfortable on occasion.

But that's just part of the numbers game, unfortunately.

But Mark, let's say Katie is on the number five and she is just clearly not interested. Maybe the person is polite and kind or whatever, but maybe the chemistry is not there.

Yeah. What's a good about? This is how little I've dated. Do you simply say, like, it's been so lovely to meet you, Tom, but I'm not quite sure this is a this is a match.

So let me reverse the tables a little bit here, because it could be that you say, you know, I've had a lovely time and then you bail. Right. And that then leads to ghosting. You know, I think you have to be a little bit more open because ultimately the other person is going to put time into trying to reel you in. Right. Try and get your attention again. And that's builds up a discord and anger, and that's where anger can develop.

So the netiquette really is to be clear that, you know, it's great meeting you. I don't feel we're compatible, but it was great meeting you and that's it. And the other person should respect that. And if they can't, that is an issue. But it's not your issue.

Okay, I like that. All right, Katie, what do you say?

Oh, yeah, I'm doing a twenty day and I try not to go one to Katie.

Thank you so much. Thanks to both of you so much. Good luck with the Katie. All right. Have a great rest of your day, Katie.

You too. Bye, Mark. Thank you so much for your wonderful advice.

Thank you very much. That's fantastic. I enjoyed that. Thank you. See you soon.