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Bramble's. This episode of Anything Goes is brought to you by Macy's shot my handpicked selections at Macy's Dotcom. Emma, love you, Macy's. Hello, everybody.


Welcome back to Anything Goes. I'm Emma Chamberlain, your host and your bestie. I think that's going to be my new official intro.


Let me know what you think. Before we get into the episode topic today, because I do have a topic. I need to fill you in on a few things. There's actually two things. Number one, Yawl I. Have no social cues anymore. I have to tell you the story, quarantine ruined me socially. I used to think of myself as being very socially savvy. I felt like I could talk to anybody. There was never an awkward moment with me like I used to be.


You know, solid socially, I could. Have a conversation with a brick wall, and it wouldn't even be awkward, like there was nothing that would make me feel awkward socially.


That's not necessarily true. Like I think that might be a little bit dramatic. I think I did. Obviously of awkward moments here and there, as everybody does, but pretty. That was pretty slim, like I was pretty solid. OK, well, I can tell you now that all of my social cues and social skills are fucking gone from quarantine.


And here's a story that perfectly displays that. So I was at a flea market. A flea market is like an outdoor thrift store where a bunch of different sellers set up little tents and they have vintage clothes, used clothes, homemade clothes, stuff like that.


And I love going there. Because they have cute clothes for good prices and it's all second hand usually, and I love that.


So I was there last weekend and. I was actually there was somebody else, too, which makes this story worse because they had to see this happen. Oh, so bad.


OK, so basically this girl comes up to me and. Basically, she she was kind of somebody that I'm connected to through business, right, but I never met her before. So it wasn't it wasn't she wasn't somebody who watches my videos necessarily. She might be, but it was more somebody who is connected to a company that I'd like to work with. Right. And she comes up to me and we're talking for a little bit and everything was fine.


And then. I kind of got a little awkward because I didn't have anything else to say, and then she kind of got a little bit awkward because I think she didn't have anything else to say.


And then she was like, oh, by the way. I'm going to change her name for the story and say her name is Olivia, although that's my best friend's name, but whatever I'm going to say, her name is Olivia. For the sake of the stories that I'm not fucking shouting this girl out. She said. Oh, by the way, my name is Olivia. And I was like, and I don't know why the fuck my brain thought it would be a good idea to say this, but my immediate response was, oh, I have a cousin named Olivia.


She was like, OK, bye and walked away. Guys, guys. Why would I say that? Why would I say why would I say that? Oh, I have a cousin named Olivia, Emma who cares, Emma, who cares, say. Well, she already knew my name, so I couldn't be like, oh, well, my name's Emma because we had already discussed that that was my name earlier. I could have just been like, oh, well, so nice to meet you, Emma.


My cousin name's Olivia Wopat. And she walks away and immediately I go to the person that I had went to the flea market with and I'm like, please tell me you didn't hear that. I cannot sleep tonight if I know that you heard that. And they were like, no, I didn't hear it. Like, what did you say?


And I told them. And they were like, Oh, fuck, I know.


That's. And then I called my mom later and I told her and she fucking laughed her ass off for like 45 minutes being like, Emma, what the hell. So. That was super awkward. That's something that has been haunting me for the last week since it happened, I listen.


If you if this was you. And you're listening to this for whatever reason, I'm so sorry for that awkward remark that I made, I got uncomfortable and tense in my fuckin. Brain took over my body in the worst way and I said that and I'm embarrassed and that's not me. I never say weird shit like that. Like that was the first time I've ever said something that weird. Like, I don't think I've ever said something that weird and that random.


Like, this girl probably thinks I am fully. A freak and I and I can't blame her, like if somebody said that to me, I'd be like, OK, words like, nice to meet you. The fog, like I would definitely judge myself if I had met myself in that situation a thousand percent.


So I don't blame her if she's judging me. But if you're out there, you know who you are. Your name's not Olivia because that was the fake name I gave to you so that you know. I wouldn't call you out too hard, although I'm kind of just calling myself out, but. Olivia, fake Olivia, if you know you are your name is not Olivia, your name starts with an A. If you know who you are, I'm really sorry, OK?


Anyway, another thing I wanted to talk about was that I got an at home cycling bike, OK? I before quarantine started, I was a huge cycling class fanatic, I would go to Soul Cycle multiple times a week, sometimes twice in a day. I just loved it. It was like my meditation. It was like my workout.


It was like my community. I love that shit. So I was super into soul cycle.


If you don't know anything about cycling classes, it's basically where there's a bunch of stationary bikes in one dark room and there's an instructor in the front and you basically ride the bike to the beat of the music and you change the resistance. So sometimes it feels like you're going uphill. Sometimes it feels like you're going super fast and you're sprinting downhill. If you turn down the resistance, that's kind of the premise of the workout. And then towards the end, you do a little arm workout with weights that are attached to the back of your bike and then you call it a day.


I think it's a great workout.


It's one of my favorites because it's just. It's it's cardio, but it's easy on your joints and I have really sensitive joints from my cheerleading days, gymnastics days, if you will, and.


So my joints are all fucked up and I find that riding a bike feels better on my joints than running, and I feel like I get the same kind of sweat in and I release endorphins and it's just great.


So I'm a huge cycling gal, I love it, but I haven't been able to cycle for basically a whole year because soul cycle has been closed. So I was just doing other things, I was trying to go on runs, I basically have spent the whole year running, actually, and I hate running.


I love it and I hate it like I love it because it's easy, you just like. Strap on shoes and then you go, it's free, which is another thing I like about it. It also does make you feel good, like afterwards you feel great and you kind of get used to running to like the more you run, the more you end up liking it. But I still, deep down, hate it as much as I could say that I like it.


I hate it. Whereas cycling I love. And so I finally got a fucking. Soul cycle bike four at home, it comes with the whole, like, screen thing, it's like a peloton, but it's all single brand because I'm very loyal to Soul Cycle, whatever. And let me tell you, this thing is amazing. Like I've never, ever spent money on like at home gym stuff ever.


I've never done it. I just have never been able to justify it. But I really wanted this. And so. Now I have it and I. Love it, I've only ridden on it twice, but I can tell you that this thing is amazing. It's like the best thing that's ever happened to me. They're definitely very expensive. But I did the math and.


I was going to soul cycle so much that I actually would save money by buying a bike for at home, I was always against getting a bike for at home because I was like, well, the whole point is that I'm going for the community element, but it sounds like there won't really be a community element to soul cycle for probably another year or so.


This makes sense. Also, I kind of like that. I don't have to leave my house to like. Ride on the bike, I can also ride on it at any time, I don't have to like book a class also if I lastminute want to cancel the class, I'm not wasting X amount of money. I it's all up to me and that the classes are equally as hard.


I mean, honestly, I'm obsessed with this bike guys. Like, I never thought that I would be that bitch. It's like I. Riding my peloton or I'm riding my source, I go back and I love it, but I am now that bitch, so. I don't know, I think it's better than having a treadmill, too, because you can like if I want to go on a run. I was going to run outside, get my fresh air, but it's really hard to mimic.


Like, I feel like a stationary bike is a very different sensation, like personally I live in L.A., I can't just go ride my bike up hills and get a bike workout in like I kind of need to use a stationary bike.


Listen, you could for sure. Bike ride in L.A.. Yes. But am I scared of that? A thousand percent?


I'm very scared of it. I'm scared because I don't trust people in L.A., I don't trust the drivers in L.A., if I wanted to bike up a, you know, street or something, I don't trust people here. So fuck, no, I'm not riding my bike in L.A. ever. That's why I have a stationary bike, I don't even have to leave the house, it's amazing. Ten out of ten would recommend. The solar cycle, stationary bike and or a peloton, it's the same thing, but very good guys, it's changing my life like I literally was in such a shitty mood yesterday.


And then I hopped on that bike and I rode it for 45 minutes and I got off and I was like, you know what?


I feel fucking good right now. The only problem is that it's a lot it's the hardest workout I've done and in the whole year I haven't done a workout that hard this whole year because I've just been, like, going on jogs and, you know, doing late Pilates and stuff. Like that's all I've really been doing. And these workouts are very hard. And I wake up in the morning and I feel like I got hit by a truck, like I feel like I'm dying every day.


That's the only hard part about it. Also, it kind of bruises your vagina when you first get started for some reason, like bruises the muscles.


And I don't. Sorry, that's disgusting. Anyway, let's get into our topic of today. Acne. I can't believe I haven't made an episode on this sooner because acne has been such a big part of my story on the Internet and also just my brand in general on the Internet, if you will. I hate that term. But, you know, people just know that I've struggled with acne.


It's like. A well-known thing in the fact that I've never made an episode on it blows my mind. So today I'm going to be kind of telling you my acne story, giving advice where I see fit and just overall having a discussion about it, like just my story. Guys, we need to talk about the fact that spring is only a few weeks away, which means it's time to start figuring out all the ways we're going to refresh our space, wardrobe, beauty routine, etc.




I have a lot of things I need to refresh, OK, because I've just been wearing the same sweatpants for nine months and I think it's time to stock up on some new comfy clothes, some new athleisure, because that's what I've really been wearing. Like, as much as I love a fire fit, I'm wearing sweatpants, yoga pants, leggings half the time because it's the most comfortable. So I think it's time to load up on that. Enter Macy's because you want to feel the excitement of warmer weather.


Even if it's only March. Macy's has the essentials to gear up for sunny days and all of that outside time from cute printed tops that will liven up your video chat to denim jackets like the iconic Levi's trucker jacket.


My fuckin favorite.


Plus, Macy's has all the little updates for your home, too, like a ninja blender to welcome in smoothie weather. Lighter and brighter cotton bedding from the hotel collection and so much more.


I have been eyeing a new espresso machine. And I need to go on Macy's dotcom later and see if I can find one that fits my needs because I'm kind of sick of my old one and I also want to buy more knives.


I know that sounds creepy, but I swear it's not having a really good knife set is game changing when you like cooking anyway.


It's not game changing if you don't like cooking, because then that could be you could be a murderer. And that's not what I'm talking about. You can even chop some of my personal favorites from Macy's at Macy's Dotcom Emma, where you'll find everything you need to get your wardrobe ready for spring. It's a custom site they created just for you guys. And that's Macy's dot com slash. I'ma check it out. I love you, Macy's. You guys have it all, baby.


Back to that episode.


So let's start. When I first started getting acne, I first started getting acne later in middle school.


So probably seventh or eighth grade and it wasn't too bad. My acne was pretty much just the little bumps on my forehead with an occasional little cystic acne. But it was. Not all cystic, I didn't have cystic all over my face, it mainly showed up in my forehead. I had a lot of tiny bumps in my forehead. I also had a lot of blackheads to my skin was just very dirty.


I think that that was partially. My fault, because I did not have a skin routine at the time at all, I didn't take care of my skin at all, and I was also a cheerleader at the time. So I was wearing makeup and.


I was sweating a lot because I was going to cheer practice like three to four times a week and I wasn't really cleaning my skin properly. So I think that that's kind of why that started. But I was also going through puberty.


I was like the beginning stages of puberty for me. And I kind of went through puberty a little bit late.


So I found a lot of people were kind of going through puberty, fifth, sixth grade, whereas it didn't really hit me until probably eighth grade, maybe seventh grade, but mainly eighth grade, like I was a late bloomer.


So I think the combination of not taking care of my skin, but also.


Doing cheer and sweating a lot and putting on a lot of makeup added to it and it sucked for sure, like I hated it, but I also don't feel like I really.


Was as self-conscious, maybe, I mean, I was definitely self-conscious in middle school, don't get me wrong, but for some reason, like acne didn't really start to bother me.


Until I got a little bit older and I don't know if it was because. A lot of kids had acne at the time, like I felt like a lot of kids in middle school had acne, so I just didn't feel like it was that different, if that makes sense.


But I don't remember like I don't fully remember how acne affected me emotionally in middle school.


But I also know that it wasn't that bad. Like it came in and out, like it was like bad sometimes not as bad others. And it was like rarely that I had a cystic acne, so it didn't feel like a huge issue at the time, but it definitely was there and I definitely was aware of it. And in retrospect, I know it's because I wasn't taking care of my skin.


While going through, like the biggest change of my body's life, which is puberty in the beginning of puberty. Then I went to high school and my skin started getting a lot worse, and throughout high school I went through phases with my skin, like sometimes I'd I'd be pretty good in my skin, to be pretty clear. But then sometimes it would be really, really bad.


And acne for me was more the kind of tiny bumps rather than like large cystic acne. I had a lot of tiny bumps all over my face, which some people call fungal acne, but I don't know if that's what I really had. I would also get like cystic zits, like the deep rooted zits. It just started to build up and get worse and. I was definitely going through puberty during this time because, again, I was a late bloomer.


I like didn't really go through puberty until eighth grade freshman year, sophomore year. Like, I feel like I'm still going through puberty sometimes and I'm 19 because I'm just a fucking late bloomer.


I literally had a completely flat chest, I had no boobs. My period didn't even come until I was 16. I felt very self-conscious about that for sure, which is kind of off topic, but it kind of relates because, you know, getting acne.


After going through puberty. Or while going through puberty is very common and so I feel like it's relevant to talk about the other parts of my body at the time too, I just was very underdeveloped.


But that also was kind of confusing to me, because I'm like, why am I? Getting acne, but I'm not getting boobs, like, what the fuck, I was like everybody else, all my other friends got acne and boobs in their period, but for me it was like, oh, no, you're just getting acne. No boobs, no period, have fun. So that was kind of eighth grade freshman year for me.


I remember sophomore year, my acne got pretty bad. But the problem was, is that I wasn't really doing anything to fix it, like throughout high school, like. I would try little products here and there, and my mom would try to like buy me different things, but nothing like really worked, but I feel like I was too lazy to really put effort in to trying to. Relieve it like I didn't put. The effort in to to try new products and stuff like that, like my mom was buying the stuff and she was making me try it, but nothing was really working, so I just got discouraged and then would stop.


And I think I was definitely self-conscious of my acne in high school, but I really started to wear makeup and cover it up and. I also went to all girls school where, you know, we all kind of just let our hair down, if you will, and nobody shave their legs. People would forget to wear deodorant. You know, nobody would wash their hair for the whole week like we were we weren't like we were all comfortable with one another because we were.


All girls and we just understood, like, OK, you know, we don't need to shave our armpits every day to be around each other, like we all know that we're all just girls and this is what we deal with, you know what I mean? There was this unspoken understanding when going to an all girls school that we all know we're not perfect. But when you go to a school with boys, sometimes there's this added pressure to be, you know.


Super put together in a way, because you want to impress the boys and I think at a school with all girls that wasn't there, which was kind of nice.


So I definitely think that helped with having acne because I. No girls were wearing makeup at school like we were all wearing no makeup, you could see everybody's acne, you could see everybody's leg hair if they forgot to shave their legs like it was all out in the open. So I think that that was actually not a terrible thing.


Also. If like we were going to a football game after school, yeah, we'd all put on makeup and cute outfits and we'd all shave our legs and do whatever, but there was like. A time for all of us to just let loose and I was at school now don't get me wrong, I hated all girls school, but that was one good part about it. So I think that that made me like. Feel less like shit about my acne, and to be honest, I don't really remember my acne affecting me until I left school.


And that was in junior year, and I still did definitely have acne when I left school. And that was also around the time that I started my YouTube channel and I wasn't wearing makeup on YouTube and everybody was seeing my acne and a lot of people were like, oh, my God.


I can't believe you're not wearing makeup and covering that up like, wow, that's so brave and I was like, oh, am I being brave right now? Cool. So, you know, I started just not wearing makeup in my videos and. I never wore makeup in my videos really again after that point, because I was like, wow, people really, you know, can relate to me even more when they can see my acne and I'm not covering it up and stuff.


And that was kind of empowering. So although acne wasn't my favorite part of my face, the fact that people connected with me even more when I showed it was like, oh, wait, that's great. I love that. So, again, acne still wasn't really bothering me. It it definitely wasn't. Something that I enjoyed, but it also was like kind of a positive thing because I was like, OK, well, I can't really control this.


I have acne. What am I going to do? I'm just going to show it. People are going to connect with me over it and. That's it, and it still didn't really bother me, so after I left school, I lived at home for a while and I was working from home and I was making videos from home and I was very lonely and. I didn't really have many friends, if any. And. I basically made YouTube videos all day, every day, and I got very depressed because I was very lonely and I was just like working on this every single day, every single day.


And I got really depressed. And I think that that definitely affected my skin.


I do notice that when I'm not in a good place mentally, my skin gets worse. And I think that living at home and just grinding on these videos every single day made me depressed, made me anxious, and that definitely made my skin a lot worse. But again. I just kind of. Went with it. And I think my skin at that time was the least of my priorities, right, because I was dealing with severe mental health issues.


I mean, I was struggling with very bad depression.


And so, like, my skin was like the least of my worries, I was like, I just want to. Be excited about tomorrow. I don't care if my fuckin skin looks like shit, you know what I'm saying? I don't care because there's a bigger picture here. I'm struggling with much bigger issues, but my skin did get a little bit worse. And then. I started to make some YouTube friends and I started to meet those YouTube friends, and then I started to consider moving to L.A. and I don't know if it was a coincidence, but I do.


I think it might be a little bit connected, my life started to get a little bit more exciting, I started to be a little bit more social. And things started to kind of look up for me mental health wise, because I had something to look forward to, right. And so then my depression kind of lessened and my anxiety kind of lessened and I became a lot happier and my skin started clearing up. And then by the time I moved to L.A..


A few months later, my skin was like, perfect. And I was doing nothing, I was trying little products here and there, but like when I really think about it, I wasn't really doing anything. I know I tried out some custom skincare websites that I was obsessed with at the time, and they're actually still great brands. I think I was using neurology at the time and I wasn't doing a lot. I literally wash my face with cleanser and then like use hydrology and then that was it.


And that really worked for me at the time. And it was basically just like a quiz, you type in all your skin info. And then they send you one moisturizer that has all of the stuff in it. That your skin may need and then you just put that on before bed and then you're good, and I think that that's what I was using at that time. And I don't know if it was the stress that made my acne go away or if it was the cure all.


I don't know, I'll never know or if it was even just a shift in my hormones. Like, again, you'll never know, but.


My acne was pretty much gone when I moved to L.A. and it was the summertime and I was getting tan and getting some vitamin D and my skin looked great and so. That was super exciting and. I just got comfortable having good skin, I was like, oh, OK, I guess I'm done because, you know, I guess puberty is over. This is how my skin is going to be from now on. Yeah, well, I was wrong.


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The App Store spelled CGU Ghazzawi and enter promo code Emma for fifteen percent off your first order. That's Curtsy app promo code Emma after that summer. My skin started. Looking like shit again, I mean, not like having Agnese looking like shit, but it was more than that, guys. It was like I stopped using products.


I wasn't washing my face routinely, really. I wasn't eating. Foods that were good for my body, I. Wasn't sleeping. At all, like I literally would sleep like fucking five hours a night and I'd go to bed at like 5:00 in the morning and wake up at like noon, it was like so bad my, like, life habits were bad. I wasn't taking care of myself at all. My skin totally went down the drain. All of my progress had went down the drain.


I wasn't really using I wasn't using urology anymore. I wasn't using anything.


And I would use an occasional series or occasional face wash, but I had absolutely no skin knowledge at all. So I just was putting random shit on my face. I mean, like maybe this will work and I try it for like a week. And if it didn't work, I just stopped using it altogether. And so my skin just started breaking out again. I also looked lifeless in my face, like my face skin was super pale and my dark circles under my eyes were bad.


And it was just like bad and. I started getting back NNI, which I had back me in school, too, but started getting really bad. The winter after I moved to L.A., I feel like that's just when everything kind of went wrong. And I had people around me that were really toxic to at that time, and it was just really hard and so I. I was breaking out for sure. But again, like. I think because my mental health had dropped to a point that wasn't so good.


I just didn't have the motivation to fix it or to work on it. And now that I'm really reflecting on my acne journey, I realized that in my deepest and darkest moments of depression, that is when my acne was the worst. And I don't know if it's because when I tend to get really depressed, I tend to not take care of myself.


I don't know if it's that or if it's the fact that stress has a really huge impact on your body and can cause things like acne, you know, according to some things that I've read online, I don't know how true it all is, but I don't know what it was.


But I found that in times of really deep depression, I would break out. So after that winter ended, I started to feel like, OK, I need to take. Control of this situation, my main motivation for wanting to clear up my skin was because Coachella is coming. Yes, my life revolves around Coachella. Shut up. I know I had all this acne on my back. I had all this acne on my face. And I was like, I want to wear.


Cute outfits that show a lot of skin, but a lot of my skin has acne on it and I'm self-conscious of it. I'm going to try to get rid of it before Coachella comes. So I started getting these facials. To try and help reduce my acne, that kind of worked, but the facials were so fucking expensive and they were painful and I just don't feel like they were really working. Enough to justify the price, so I kind of stopped doing that, then I went to this super expensive skincare store in L.A. and I was like, guys, this is what my skin looks like.


Recommend me some products. So they sold me probably 500 dollars worth of skincare products. I didn't know they basically made a skincare routine for me. And I spent 500 fucking dollars on these products because I was like, listen, I'm so desperate, I'll just take anything.


I'll do anything to get rid of this acne before Coachella. Please, God, just help me.


And I started using these really expensive products and I don't think that they were right for me. I remember I was using a really. Abrasive exfoliator on my face multiple times a week, which probably was making my acne worse, and then.


The rest of the products were good, I think, from what I can remember, but I think. A lot of them were overpriced in and maybe a little too harsh for my clearly sensitive skin, but I just didn't know any better and I was just using them because I was just trying to get rid of this fucking acne. Koczela rolls around. My skin is not really getting much better. All the facials, all of 500 dollar fucking products, none of it really helped.


And I was definitely disappointed. But I was like, you know what, fuck it. I'm just going to put makeup on my face, makeup on my acne on my back and call it a day. And I did. And I had a great koczela. I guess it was kind of shitty, but it was good.


And then after that I was like, OK, we really need to. Figure this out, because this is controlling my life now, like I'm spending a lot of money on this, it's starting to affect my self-esteem. Like, I really want to get this under control, so I go to the dermatologist and. We try some topical treatments, I don't even remember the names of them that wasn't working.


Next step was like, OK, let's start taking medications, so the first medication I went on was called Spironolactone and this is basically a medication that helps, like, regulate your hormones so that you get less acne because a lot of acne comes from hormones, which I think a lot of people don't necessarily know, but a lot of people.


Have the most perfect skin care routine on the planet, but still have acne because their acne is hormonal, so it's something that's out of their control no matter what products you put on your face. That's not going to affect the fact that your hormones are on the inside and, you know, they're going to do what they want. So if they want to give you acne, they're going to give you acne no matter, you know, how many.


Beautiful clean products you put on your face, and I think that that's kind of what was going on with me, to be honest, because I clearly had something wrong with my hormones or off with my hormones, considering I got my period so late and I went through puberty, puberty so late, like I wouldn't be surprised if it had to do with my hormones. And we never really. Pinpointed what it was like, where am I? Why my acne was happening, whether it was.


Hormones or it was just genetics like we never figured that out, but it doesn't really matter. The moral of the story was I had acne that no product to fix, not any facial, not any 500 dollar product. So Spironolactone was the next option. It was meant to control my hormones. I went on it. I didn't have a good reaction with it. It made. Mice face extremely puffy and. I remember my mom even noticed she was like, Emma, your face looks so swollen all the time and I was like, I know, and we couldn't figure out what it was.


And I thought, to this day, I mean, we'll never know for sure. But I think it was from the Spirit Alectown.


My face was so swollen it almost would look droopy sometimes because it was so swollen and my acne was not getting any better.


If anything, it was only getting worse. And I was extremely discouraged. And so this was when shit started to get really hard for me, because not only did I have all this acne, but now my face.


Is swollen 30 percent more than normal, and that's when I really started to get self-conscious because I'm in front of a camera all the time. I am. Taking photos of myself constantly and I started to not want to be on camera at all, I started to feel super unattractive in a way because my face was so swollen and my cheeks were like puffing out. Yet and I'm sorry that this is a little a little trigger warning. I'm going to talk about my relationship with food for a second here.


So feel free to skip ahead if that triggers you. But I've struggled with body image issues.


I struggle with body dysmorphia. I've struggled throughout my life with various eating disorders and. My face looked like I was gaining weight. Which, you know, not that there's anything wrong with that, but for my, you know, slightly disordered brain, I was like, I'm gaining weight because my face is enlarging. When I would look at my body, the rest of my body looked how I would expect it to look based on my, you know, behaviors.


Right. Like I am somebody that I was eating really well and I was working out every day. And so it didn't make sense to me why. My face. Was like gaining weight, but the rest of my body wasn't, but then that started to affect my body dysmorphia and I started to get my relationship with food, declined a lot from this experience of this extreme facial swelling.


And my mom and I decided we need to stop the spirit of Lockton. We both assumed that it was from the spirit of Lockton and based on.


What ended up happening, I think it was because I stopped taking Spironolactone and my face. Swelling reduced a lot, which was great. But my God, that was a really tough time for me, and I remember, you know, when I was dealing with this facial swelling like. Like people were. Really harsh on me and my appearance for sure, because I just looked different, I didn't look the same, and so people were.


You know, kind of would say mean things, just say like God, Emma, like shit, you know, and I knew I look like shit and I felt like shit and. Everybody, you know, was like Amma's content sucks now because my videos were suffering as well because I was dealing with this. Extreme level of self-consciousness, and I just didn't even want to be on camera. I had no video ideas. I didn't want to take Instagram photos.


I didn't want to film a Snapchat story. Like I didn't want to be in front of a camera at all because I felt so.


Bad about myself. It was like. Not only is my face swollen and a half, it's like double its normal size, but also I have acne on top of it and I look like a bobblehead in a way. It was so bizarre and.


Of course, I didn't want to make content, of course I didn't want to fucking be on camera. I remember I. Would go to events and get photos taken of me and I would look at the photos in my face just looked so massive and I would feel.


Like, I just wanted to hide for the rest of my life, it was just so terrible and also, you know, on top of that, my acne.


So it was like not only was I having this facial swelling, but I also had this acne. And so it was just I felt so bad about how my face looked. Yet my face is like my career.


And it was so confusing for me. And so uninspiring and I definitely like, you know, my content suffered for sure. So let me tell you about the moment that things kind of.


Changed for me, and I decided that I needed to take a more extreme approach, like the Spironolactone wasn't working. Nothing was working. I decided I needed to take it to the next level and like figure something else out. I flew to New York for an event and I was only going to be in New York for like three days and. I remember I landed the plane and I opened up my phone camera and I looked at my face in the phone camera and my acne was so inflamed from being on the plane that I, I don't think my acne had ever looked worse.


I actually think that this exact moment when the plane landed in New York was the probably the most severe my acne has ever looked in my life. I didn't even take a photo of it. Because I felt so awful about how it looked that it never hit the Internet. So but mind you, I had an event the next day.


That I had to be ready for, I had to get my photos taken, all of that stuff in my acne never looked worse in my life, not to mention I still had a decent amount of facial swelling.


Left over from the Spirit, Blacktown, because that stuff stays in your system for a while, I think I had already stopped taking it, but. My facial swelling was still there. It took months for it to fully go down and. I get to my hotel room and I call my team and I'm like freaking out, I'm like crying. I'm like, I can't do this tomorrow. I look so bad. Like what are we supposed to do?


What are we going to do? And somebody from my team makes me an appointment with a fatalist dermatologist. I think she's actually just a dermatologist, but she does facials, too.


Anyway, so I go to the dermatologist slash fatalist. And. She's basically going to do a treatment that will help reduce redness and inflammation for my shoot the next day. And I sit down and I'm clearly upset and she can see that. And. She was like. Are you OK? And I was like, no, I can't, no, I'm not, I'm not OK. And she was like, Why? And I was like, because I have to be on camera every single day.


I have to be on the Internet. People have to see me every single day because of my job.


And I can barely look at myself in the fucking mirror because I my face is swollen and I have so much I have more acne than I've ever had in my entire life.


Yet the whole world has to see me. I can't just hide in these moments. I can't even take a second to reflect during these moments. Like I have to keep going and I don't want to I don't want people to see me right now.


I've always been so chill about people seeing my acne have always been so chill about the world knowing that, you know, this is something that I deal with, but I can't do it right now. I'm too weak right now. I don't want people to see my acne right now. I don't want to have acne anymore. I've been tough. I've been brave this whole time. Fuck. Great. But I'm I'm the fucking it's over. Like I this has gotten to me now.


I don't like to look at myself in the mirror. I don't like to see photos of myself. It haunts me. I just want to hide in my fucking room and I never want to leave again. I never ever want to look in the mirror again. And, you know, it was a combination of the fact that this, you know, Spironolactone made my face so swollen. Did I look like a fully different person on top of the fact that my acne is worse than it's ever been in my entire life?


So it was a combination of both of those things that just made me it pushed me over the edge. The swollen face was almost worse than the acne, but. The acne was a huge part of it as well, and I think the acne was also adding to my facial swelling, though, too, because, you know, acne is inflamed and it gets swollen. So it's was like I had this facial swelling and then on top of it, I had acne to make my face even more swollen.


I was losing my mind. I was like, listen, I know that what you look like on the outside doesn't matter. I know that it's about what's on the inside. And I fucking know that deep down, that's why people like me. That's why people care about me. People don't care about what I look like. Who gives a fuck? But. I cracked. And that's fucking human and that's normal and that's expected. It's like. I looked so different than what I was used to and it was so upsetting for me.


And so anyway, I explain all this to this fabulous dermatologist lady in New York, and I start bawling my eyes out. I'm crying. I'm like. Fucking hyperventilating, I had not really talked about this a lot before because I think that I had always wanted to be tough and I always wanted to seem tough when it came to acne because people knew me for that. They knew me for being open about my acne and accepting it. And so I felt like a fraud for cracking like that.


And she was like, we need to get you on Accutane. And I was like, I will do anything. But the complicated thing about Accutane is that you can't just like go to your dermatologist and say, hey, can we go on Accutane? It has to be approved by your dermatologist. You have to try X amount of medications before you try Accutane. You have to apply online to do Accutane. It's like this whole process that can even take months to start.


And so I immediately texted my mom and I was like, we need to find me a dermatologist in L.A. that can get me Accutane. Like I'm done. Like I can't do this anymore, like. We just needed. Fucking do this like I have to be on camera every day, like, why am I not working a little bit harder to try and make this situation more comfortable for me? You know what I mean? Like, why have I not taken Accutane yet when I've literally tried everything?


My acne is worse than ever. And I actually like, you know. This is actually something that would be helpful for, you know, what I love, which is YouTube, I just want to be able to be on camera and not fucking shudder at my own face, like, because I'm just I'm done. I'm done with all this stupid shit. Like, let's just fucking go to the extreme and take Accutane. I don't care.


So I text my mom, she finds me a dermatologist. Meanwhile, while I'm in New York, I get this facial done. It helps a tiny bit, but whatever I go to this event, I am extremely self-conscious. The photos come out from the event I. Wanted to puke when I saw them. This is all honesty, I'm just being honest here.


And when I get home, I start going to the dermatologist and start figuring out, OK, when can we start Accutane?


ET cetera, et cetera. Mind you, I had stopped taking spironolactone, but my face was still extremely swollen.


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So. I start. December of twenty nineteen. And. Honestly, here's basically how Accutane works, you take it for like seven months, six months, seven months, I took it for seven. And basically, the idea behind it is that it will it like reduces some sort of gland in your face that produces sebum. So it doesn't produce Seebohm any more, so then you can't. Your body doesn't produce acne as much anymore. That's my understanding of the medication.


I don't really get it. I'm not a scientist. But that's pretty much what I.


Get from it, it basically like dries out those glands in your face, but you have to take it for anywhere from, you know. Three to sometimes 12 months, I don't know, some people are on it really long time. I was only on it for it really just depends on the person. I don't know I don't know the length of Accutane. For me, it was seven months. So we'll just talk about me here.


And listen, it wasn't easy, like it was definitely hard because similar despair at Blacktown, guess what else made my face puffy. Accutane, for the first few months of Accutane, my face was very puffy and dry and chapped and I would get like really weird hot flashes. And my face would get super red for no reason and my skin was super sensitive and I felt tired a lot.


Meanwhile, is the beginning of quarantine. When I was on Accutane. And it was definitely not the most pleasant time. I mean, don't get me wrong, but. I feel like the seven months went by extremely fast, like I just distracted myself by playing fortnight. Putting a bunch of chapstick on every 20 minutes. Eating as healthy as I possibly could to try to like, you know, support my body through this tough time and. Just be open to the process.


Accutane takes a huge toll on your body, you know, there's a lot of side effects, it can affect your mental health. It can. A fact like you can make your joints in your back hurt, it can make you feel fatigued. It can.


The main thing that it does is it makes you dry the fuck out like you just get so dry, so chapped, so dry. And a lot of that happened to me, but it was like one of those things where I was like, I'm so desperate to just. Help my skin that I don't even care, so I was very tough through the whole process because I was like, I know that my life is going to be better on the other side of this and gotten to a point where my life was at such a I was at such a low point with my self-esteem and with my acne and with my facial swelling problems and all that, that I was like.


There's no way that I'm going to end up at a worse place after Accutane, like I've already hit rock bottom with this shit, there's only going up from here, so. I just rode the wave and I honestly tried not to pay too much of mind to the side effects of taking Accutane, and I think that helped, too. I just distracted myself. I literally played fortnight for eight hours a day for three months in the beginning of quarantine and during my Accutane process, just to, like, kill time.


Guess what? No regrets. No regrets because it fucking flew on by, next thing I know, I'm done with Accutane during the summer, it was during summer. Twenty twenty and my skin was. I mean, it was fucking perfect, I've never seen it that perfect. It had never been that perfect even. It was perfect and I had a little bit of scarring, you know, here and there, but my skin looked amazing and I finally felt like, oh, fuck.


It was all worth it, all the trial and error, all of the. Weird shit that I tried all these years, it was worth it. Because it led me to taking Accutane. And finally, having the skin that I dreamed of. And. It was amazing. And still to this day, my skin has remained pretty clear, I have struggled with the occasional breakouts like here and there, but nothing, you know, remotely.


Like what I was dealing with before I went on Accutane. My facial swelling is completely gone now. I mean, I still have facial swelling like every other person, but not like it was like clearly like a a reaction to something. Medically, like it was clearly like I was allergic to the medicine or something, like there was clearly something wrong there, there was it was not like a normal. Puffy face, it was like. Worse. But my skin has remained.


Pretty good ever since I've taken Accutane and I've been off Accutane for almost a year now, probably like eight months. And my skin is held up really well and. I think the reason why it's held up really well is because I've really gotten into skin care and really gotten into learning how to take care of my skin. I've tried hundreds of products since I got off Accutane. There's a fuck ton of products that I love from bazillions of different brands, like I am super open minded when it comes to skin care.


So I've been having a lot of fun, just like trying stuff that piqued my interest at. All to Sephora, wherever the fuck, and just trying a bunch of new things, and now that my skin is not. Super irritated and. All of that from whatever it may have been, hormones, whatever, I can actually have more fun trying new products because. Before, like, my acne was not curable by a topical product, no matter what topical product I would put on my skin.


It would inflame it. It didn't matter, I could literally put on. Fuckin the most simple moisturizer in my skin would react. Whereas now, like my skin is. So much more resilient so that I can try so many more things. And that's been really great and I mean, still to this day, my skin, I will break out if I use the wrong product. Still to this day. But it's not the same. It'll be like two pimples, whereas it used to be 50 and.


Moral of the story is. Accutane cured my acne a thousand percent, Accutane cured my acne, the seven months of dryness and back pain and. Weird hot flashes was all worth it. It really was the thing that cured my acne. I'm never going to say, oh, this product cured my acne. This product did this this product did that because that's not what happened. The only thing that was able to fully get rid of my acne was taking Accutane for seven months period.


But now I focus on skin maintenance.


Right. Because it's like, OK, I work so hard. I spent so much time getting my skin to this place. I'm going to take the best care of it I possibly can. And so I started watching Hiram's YouTube videos.


I started doing research on my own, you know, reading different skin care opinions because there's so many different opinions. Like, for example, there's controversial topics like essential oils. Some people will be like essential oils are terrible. Other people will be like essential oils are extremely beneficial, but only if they're used in this. A concentration and all of that, and I've just been like very interested in that, some people are like fragrances, the devil, some people are like fragrance is not actually that bad, depending on what type of fragrance it is.


Like there's so many different opinions out there. Right. So I've spent a lot of time looking into that, figuring out what my own skin care philosophy is and then. Above all that, just trying stuff myself, seeing what agrees with my skin to build my arsenal of products that I love and.


Maintaining my skin has become a huge priority for me because I feel like I never really took care of my skin before because nothing ever worked or agreed with me. So it was just discouraging and I would just stop. But now that I have a little bit more room to explore new products, I've been having so much fun seeing what's out there. There's bazillions of products out there. Why not? Try them all, so I've been having a lot of fun with that.


But I think a lot of people sometimes are like, Emma, how can you be so into skin care? When you were on Accutane for seven months and that cured your acne like your lying. Well, that's not how it works. Accutane cured my acne, but skin care and taking care of your skin is a totally different story.


I still break out here and there. And I saw products that I use when I'm breaking out because they help. Even though my breakouts may be small, they're still there and then when it comes to day to day skin maintenance like. Moisturizing your skin every day, exfoliating your skin a few times a week, stuff like that, no matter if you have acne or not, that benefits your skin. You see what I'm saying? So skin care isn't just for people who have acne.


Skin care isn't just for curing acne.


It's also for. Keeping your skin, which is an organ healthy, you know. So anyway, that's my acne journey. It's been a long one and it's been very emotional, but. I'm here and I made it through, and for all of you who are on your own journey right now, I'm praying for you. I know how hard it is and I know the type of toll it takes on your body and your mind and all that, but just know that it will pass.


It will pass and also. It has nothing to do with who you are. I know it's so easy to. Tie your worth to your appearance, I do it to this day. But. That's not reality. You are so much more than your acne then. Anything about your appearance, you're so much more than that and as hard as it is to believe that when you're feeling down in the dumps about your skin.


Trust me. You're much more. Then anything about your appearance and on that note? I'm going to answer some questions, first question, somebody said, does it get worse before it gets better? Yes, that was definitely my experience. Like when I first started on Accutane, my skin purged a lot and I broke out pretty bad, but. I think the reason why I didn't even mention that when I was telling the story was because I didn't even really care.


At that point, I was so desperate. For results that like me. That, like my skin purging was like the least of my worries. I was like long term, this is helping me. And the dermatologist also warned me that my acne was going to get worse before it got better. So I was, like, ready for that. Right. It definitely did get worse before it got better, but I was like mentally prepared for that and I knew that it was going to happen and I was ready for it.


I was like, fuck it, I can handle this. Let's do it. Somebody said, if you never used Accutane, do you think you would have gotten rid of your acne? I don't. I think I may have grown out of it eventually. But I think that the great thing about Accutane was that not only did it. Pretty much stop it altogether, at least for now. I mean, they could always come back. I might have to go on Accutane again at some point, but.


It definitely stopped it for the past year anyway, completely, and I don't think that I would have been able to get it under control. Otherwise, because I think it was. A deeper issue, I think it's genetic, I think it was hormonal, and I think that those are things that are really hard to control and so no topical product could help me with that.


I think Accutane was my solution.


And I also am glad that I went on it when I did because. The thing is, if you go on Accutane. The sooner you go on Accutane. The better, at least in my scenario, because Accutane was something that my doctor approved for me, you know, it's not for everybody, but because the doctor approved it for me, it's good that I went on it sooner rather than later because. It prevented a lot of scarring as well, because.


The longer you know, you have acne, the more scars that you get and stuff like that, and because I kind of. Went on it as my acne was starting to get really cystic and bad, I kind of. Bite the bullet there a little bit and so. That was also a pro of of going on it sooner rather than later.


But again, I mean, I still have some acne scars and I am fucking I honestly, I'm kind of at call me crazy, but I'm kind of proud of them.


And I know a lot of people are really self-conscious of acne scars and acne scars can be really, really, you know, all.


Some can be really bad, some are like not as bad whatever some people like, it's very different for everybody. But I think acne scars are something to be proud of. It's almost like, yeah, I fucking went through that in acne is one of the hardest things to deal with ever because it's right on your face. And it it's really hard to not stare at yourself.


And so. It's almost like, yeah, I did that, like I have acne scars, but I'm done now, I don't have acne anymore, I, I got through it and these are my badges of honor. Like, I genuine. Like, I don't ever look at an Afghanistan be like you because I'm like Šamaš. You had to go through hell. You know what I mean, like that that is like your fucking trophy for getting through it in a weird way.


Somebody said, how did you really feel when people would comment about your skin? I think it definitely used to bum me out a little bit because, you know, I was like, come on, guys, like, let's let's. Be realistic here, like so many teens have acne, like probably fucking I don't want to say percentage because then I'll say an incorrect percentage and then everybody will get mad at me. But a large percentage of teens have acne.


And I was like. Really, we're going to hate me for this, like we could definitely hate on me for something a little more valid, at least, so it just kind of felt like a low blow. And it was just kind of a bummer because I'm like, wow, is that really all people see in me is the fact that I have acne, like, come on. But then I also understand how the Internet works and that people are ruthless.


And so I'm pretty good at, like, turning off those feelings. And I'd much rather somebody say, oh, your acne is ugly than say you're really annoying. Like, I feel like that's a worse hate comment for me or like somebody telling me to, like, die, like, that's worse. So I feel like getting comments about acne. Yao is a bummer, but it's also like the least insulting out of all the hate comments I get.


So. Not too bad.


A lot of people are asking me how to feel confident with acne and unfortunately, like, I don't have an answer, right, because when my acne was not as bad and I was in school and I went to all girls school and there was not a lot of pressure and I was getting a lot of support and love on the Internet for showing my acne like it was easy for me to be maybe more confident about it because I had so much support from you guys, even from day one.


And also like it was so not a big deal at my school. Like nobody cared about their appearance at my school.


So it was like there was just so much less pressure, right, because of my environment, whereas like when I started to be on the Internet and people were able to make comments about it, and I started to grow on the Internet.


And so I had more haters and stuff like that. I never really found a way to be confident with my acne. I think that I had like I it wasn't that I was OK. I guess I was unapologetic about it, but I wouldn't say I was necessarily confident, like, I wasn't afraid to show my acne on camera. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I was confident about it. It just meant that I was on unapologetic about it. I was like, this is me.


Like, take it or leave it. I'm not even necessarily the most accepting of myself, but like. Here it is, you know what I mean, take it or leave it, I wouldn't say I was necessarily super confident in my army, like I definitely like it. Definitely bummed me out for sure. Once I lived in L.A. and I was making videos and stuff like that, it definitely bought me out and I wasn't super confident in. But I would say my advice to my past self would be.


Acne is so fucking normal. Almost everybody struggles with it at least once in their life. It has nothing to do with your level of attractiveness, you know what I'm saying? Like. I was think about it like this to. Think about right now your best friend or your boyfriend or your girlfriend or your significant other whoever, think about somebody that you love very unconditionally.


Would you love them any less if they woke up tomorrow and they had acne all over their face? No. You wouldn't. Like, I think about the people closest to me in my life, like. And if they woke up tomorrow and they'd have full face of acne. I would not think of them any differently. I would still be equally as attracted them if it's my significant other or if it's my best friend, I mean, I'm not really usually aren't necessarily attracted to your best friend, but like, you know what I'm saying?


Like, I wouldn't think of them any differently. I wouldn't love them any less. If it was a significant other, I wouldn't be attracted to them any less. Because there's so much more to being attracted to somebody and loving somebody than you know. Whether or not they fucking acne, right, there's a bigger picture here, and I think it's so hard to remember that when you're in it, right, because you're like, God, I just want this to go away because it makes makeup look weird.


You know, it makes it's uncomfortable. You know, some people think it's gross. And a lot of people think that if you have acne, it means that you don't have good hygiene. And that's like a huge stereotype. That's completely false. Right, but, you know, having acne might make somebody think that you're dirty. I know that that was an experience I had where a lot of people on the Internet, where they were like, this girl is so dirty and gross, like she has so much acne, like it's real because she's never watched her face before, when in reality it was like, no, I had good hygiene, decent enough fucking hygiene, shut the hell up, you know, but.


There's a lot of really weird stereotypes and stigmas around acne that. We'll make you feel less attractive if you have it, and all of it is not true. At the end of the day, who you are and what type of person you are that carries you farther than anything else and whether or not you have acne.


Is just irrelevant, really, but it's so hard to see that when you're in the moment, right. And I get that, but it's just reminding yourself there's such a bigger picture. The people in my life love me for me, not because of what my skin looks like or what it doesn't look like. Somebody said, what are some lifestyle acne tips? OK, I have a lot of these like tips for just things you can do in your day to day life that help, right?


No one I know this is annoying, and I know I remember when I had a really bad acne and people would tell me to drink more water, I would punch them in the face. But drinking more water does help. I'm somebody that doesn't drink a lot of water. I drink a lot of caffeine and that's it, and I find that when I'm. Not drinking enough water even after Accutane. My skin, I will break out still and my skin just doesn't look as good, too, it doesn't look as glowing.


So as annoying as it is drinking more water, I know I'm I used to want to punch people in the face.


I would say that. And still to this day, I do. But because I think the thing is, people think that, like drinking water will cure acne. No, it probably won't, but it helps. A little bit and. When you're struggling with acne, you might as well do everything you can to help it, right? Another thing is I stay away from dairy and I know a lot of people. Agree with me that dairy. Makes acne worse, and I don't know why that is, but if I eat like a cup of ice cream or like drink milk or something like I mean, I'm going to be not only is my bowels going to be hurting, but also I definitely will pop a little pimple up.


I find that like cheese, because there's less lactose in it, I think, is that right? Is it less lactose? I don't remember it as less lactose. Siri, Google, does cheese have less lactose than milk? Yeah, OK. So if you want to eat dairy sticking to foods that have less lactose in it, for example. Parmesan cheese that doesn't have a lot of lactose in it because it's a hard cheese, like hard cheeses have less lactose, I don't really have issues with those.


They don't feel like those make me break out. But if I'm like eating ice cream that has dairy in it, like I'm fucked if I'm drinking milk, I mean, God, I never really drank milk in my whole life.


But like, when I would have sleepovers with my friends and stuff like that, like we would have milk and cereal in the morning and that shit did not help. I have a cousin who had really bad cystic acne and she cut out dairy and that really helped her. So I don't know. I think cutting out dairy can really help. Another thing is washing your face and back.


Immediately after working out, I used to work out I'd go to Soul Cycle and then I'd just like go get coffee and then I'd like, you know, go get lunch. And then I'd come home and shower. And that had this bacteria sitting on my skin for so many hours that that would make my breakouts much worse, especially on my back. Another tip is, honestly, guys, is another annoying tip, but eating a lot of fruits and veggies, I know it's fucking annoying, but I diet has a huge impact on your skin, too.


I've found, at least for me personally.


And so adding more veggies into my diet, I didn't really eat a lot of vegetables up until this year, to be honest, like I would.


But it was like not. Something I ate every day, now I make sure that I eat vegetables every day, and that has really helped. With my skin, I mean, and my overall health, too, but like because, you know, it's all the vitamins and stuff like that really helps.


You're better off eating like a bowl of kale than taking a fucking sugar bear hair vitamin.


Right. So that's another thing that has helped me.


That's all I can really think of right now. Somebody said, would you recommend covering your acne with makeup? I would say be really careful about what makeup you use because makeup can really make it worse.


I avoided wearing makeup as much as possible when I had really bad acne because I would just. Immediately see how much more inflamed it would become after I'd take my makeup off, so I would say my advice on that would be avoid makeup at all costs.


But but I mean, at the same time, like, obviously there's going to be times where you need to wear makeup. That's totally fine.


But maybe. Find products that are cleaner, like I really love the rain cost us because they have. Much cleaner ingredients and personally, their ingredients agree really well with my skin, so. Just finding products that are lighter and area and maybe even have some.


Skin care related benefits to them, like you can find so many baby creams and stuff like that that have.


Skin supporting products in it, like they might have moisturized, it might be like moisturising or it might have certain.


You know, ingredients that actually can help fight acne while you're wearing your makeup, so try to find those products because that's a life saver.


Somebody said, did you ever lose hope, a thousand percent, I lost hope bazillions of times. I mean, you know, especially after going on Spironolactone, I was super down in the dumps because I was like this actually made my acne worse and caused facial swelling. So now I have double the problems. Right. And it's hard, but it's all trial and error and. You know, you may be able to find a solution to your acne that isn't Accutane, it might be like something else.


Who knows, it might even be a simple change to your diet. It might be, you know, slightly less harsh. It might be Spironolactone, you know what I'm saying, like, who knows? And for some people, Accutane doesn't work. It's so different for everybody, and that's why it's easy to lose hope, because there's no solid answer, you just have to try everything for yourself.


But I can assure you that no matter who you are, you will fucking figure this out and you will get through it. So I said how to not care about people making comments about your skin. Listen, people making comments about other people's skin is the lowest blow possible, like really you're going to hate on somebody for something that's completely out of their control.


Especially something so normal, like acne, like, come on, do better, that just shows how shitty of a person they are if they're hating on you for your acne. That's like the lowest you could go. I mean, like, seriously, because it's like not only does everybody deal with it, but also it's so hard to deal with. I can't imagine hating on somebody for their acne, that seems just like the most. Low blow you could do, trust me, that says a lot more about them than it does about you, they are a piece of shit.


And they're not even clever enough to come up with an actual good insult because insulting somebody on acne is like the dumbest shit ever, like at least insult them on like an ugly pair of shoes that they're like really like you could do better. You know what I mean? That's always my thing. I'm like, if you're hating on some somebody for something that they can't control, that just means you're not a creative enough hater. So work harder, Hater's.


You know what I'm saying, work harder, bullies, acne is like you can do better. I'm kidding. Nobody should hate on anybody about literally anything. But you get what I'm saying.


Somebody said what something that has made your skin glow on your daily routine, do you have any product recommendations for me? It is chemical exfoliant, these make my skin glow as fuck I have to that I really like I really like the bad habit, total reboot, a chemical exfoliant, and I really like the blis. Clear genius serum exfoliant. Those are both great products that I've tried that I have used to exfoliate and I really like both of them and they're great.


Hyrum has explained why chemical plants are better than in abrasive exfoliant, so I'll kind of explain the difference. Basically, the point of an exfoliant is to remove the dead skin from your face so that you kind of get a fresh start, you know what I'm saying? And a chemical exfoliant design, from my understanding, kind of dissolves the dead skin, whereas a more abrasive kind of exfoliant will like scrub it off. And the reason why a chemical one is better is because it's more gentle, because it's very easy to overdo it with a like super abrasive exfoliant.


And that can actually be like kind of irritating to your skin. So using a chemical one is much better. And I do chemical exfoliant about twice a week and it just really keeps my skin like refreshed and glowing and it makes it keeps it feeling like clean because, you know, it's hard to remove all the dead skin and dirt from your face with just a face wash. So using an exfoliant like twice a week is my go to. And I love the bad habit one.


I love the blis one. I'm trying to think if I know any other ones that are good.


That's all I can think of, but that has really helped me like adding in a chemical exfoliant has been a game changer for my skin routine post Accutane because it just brings back the life into my face and removes all that dead shit. So. Definitely would recommend those two, and those are those are two brands that I've worked with, but I genuinely love those products. There are so many brands that make great products and so. It's hard to just choose one, but those are my faves.


On that note. I think that I am going to end this episode, but I really hope that my story was understandable, like I swear to God, I like rambled on forever, but I hope that it made sense and I hope that you enjoyed it. And I hope you learn something from it. And I hope you could relate to it in some way maybe or could make you feel like you're not alone in some way, whatever it may be.


I hope that it did that because that's always my goal. And I love you so much and I appreciate you for listening and coming back every week. If you like this episode and you like anything goes in general, go on Apple podcast and give us a little five stars.


It really helps me out and it makes me feel good to see your guys reviews. Also subscribe on anywhere, any platform that you listen to podcasts. What else follows on the Twitter at Ajai podcast so that you can interact with. The podcast, you can ask questions, be a part of our advice sessions, whatever it may be, and I think that's all I got. I love you guys. Have an amazing rest of your week and. I'm manifesting healthy and happy skin for all of us because we all deserve it and.


Peace out, bitches, love you guys.