Ramble, this episode of Anything Goes is presented by Dorje Dash use promo code, anything for 25 percent off your order of 15 dollars or more. Hi guys.
Welcome back to Anything Goes. I'm Emma Chamberlain, your host and your bestie. I hope you're having an amazing day. Before we get into the topic, the main topic of today's episode, I need to discuss a moral dilemma with you that I have the other day because I just need to get this off my chest. So I present to you a story. The other day, I went to a cafe and I order my coffee and. Basically at this cafe, they use an iPad as kind of a cash register, you know what I'm talking about, when they have the iPad and you insert your card and then there's like a screen and, you know, you can choose how much you want to tip and stuff like that on the iPad screen, like that's kind of the cash register.
That's kind of the you know what I'm saying, OK?
So they had an iPad and. They flip the iPad around and they're kind of holding it back, so I can't touch it to select how much I want to tip.
And they say, oh, how much do you want to tip, like, I'll tap it for you. And I was like. OK, so you're telling me that I have to tell. This person that works at this coffee shop, how much I want to tip. Oh, my God, this is my worst nightmare because instead of me being able to take the iPad into my own hands, select, you know, 20 percent tip and then give it back and it'd be kind of my own private thing, I was going to have to tell this woman how much I wanted to tip.
And that, to me, is probably the most uncomfortable scenario I could ever imagine myself being in, because normally I'll tip about 20 percent. But in this scenario, Mike. I feel like I need to tip a lot right now, because I'm telling this woman exactly how much I want to tip her to her face it it's not at all private for me. This is not private for me at all. So there are three options. You could tip 15 percent, 20 percent and 25 percent.
And normally I choose the 20 percent just because I don't know, I always tip 20 percent. But because she was staring at me, asking me how much I wanted to tip, I said 25 percent. Listen, this is not about the money.
I don't care. I if I get good service, I will tip graciously because I feel like they deserve it. And this lady was so nice, but. I was so genuinely uncomfortable by the situation and I was like. Are they doing this on purpose? Are they asking the customer, how much would you like to tip? So that the customers are. Kind of pressured to tip more. Because if so, that's kind of genius, right, because normally I would have tipped 20 percent, but they just got five percent more of a tip now because I had to.
Save face to face with this woman that. Well, I had to just tell her how much I was going to tip to her face instead of me being able to do it privately with the screen not facing her like it was. If they're doing that to get more tips or to get higher tips. They're kind of a genius because imagine this, imagine you order a coffee and you don't really want to tip. How the fuck are you going to say to this woman who works at the coffee shop when she asks, how much do you want to tip?
And you say none.
Oh, my God, that would be so fucking awkward, so by her asking and selecting on the iPad, the tape herself, you are inevitably going to tip more inevitably. And I think that that's very interesting and kind of genius, but also kind of evil because I felt a lot of pressure to tip a lot. I almost considered being like, oh, you can tip an extra 20. I got so nervous that I almost want to be like twenty dollars, even though I paid like three dollars for my coffee, you know.
But anyway. Super uncomfortable. I just had to share that with you because I was like. What the fuck is going on here? Anyway, let's get into the topic of today, which is. Celebrity culture. I've already kind of talked about this before, I feel like, but I got really inspired to talk about celebrity culture.
Because I watched the Britney Spears documentary, now, if you haven't watched the Britney Spears documentary, I'll give you a brief kind of summary of what I witnessed in it. Basically, it's about Britney Spears and how she became famous and how the fame kind of. Ruined her a little bit. And. It got her into a lot of sticky situations, one of them being that her dad has legal ownership over basically her whole life now in something that's called a conservatorship or something.
God, don't even. Get me started on what all that legal shit means, but. Her dad basically has legal ownership over her whole life because. Some doctors argued, apparently that she wasn't stable enough to. Have ownership over her life and make decisions for herself, so her dad makes all those decisions for her now, makes virtually all decisions for her now, even though she is probably. Coherent enough to do those things herself, she's kind of in a sticky situation there.
Also, the documentary really talked about how the media.
Made Britney look bad. And. Would do anything in their power to. Make her a public enemy just because it's sold and just because. Drama sells, so, you know, a story about Britney donating money to charity is not going to do well, whereas a story about Britney. Shaving her head or driving with her baby in her lap, that's going to sell it basically shows how the media has no mercy for celebrities and kind of how humans are so quick to judge and.
Look at celebrities as. Kind of almost a character rather than a real human being. Anyway, if you haven't watched the Britney documentary, it's on Hulu and it's so good, and I really recommend that you watch it because it really changed my perspective on celebrity culture as a whole.
And. I just want to talk about it, so. Let's get into it.
This documentary was very moving for me, and I didn't realize why at first, but the longer I think about it, the more I realize why.
The documentary. Showed who Britney Spears was and who she is and really made her feel like a real human being, when normally you look at somebody like Britney Spears and you just don't even think of them as a human being because they're so famous, she's so famous that she doesn't even seem like a real human being. And growing up, I used to see all of these tabloid articles about Britney, about Lindsay Lohan, about Paris Hilton, about whoever.
And the tabloid articles would just be shitting on them and so growing up. I judged Britney Spears, I judged Lindsay Lohan for going to rehab for. Acting out for shaving their heads, for doing drugs, for doing whatever it may be, I judge them as a child because when. Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears. Whoever else when I was younger, those were the celebrities and I remember seeing. All the articles about them just shitting on them and I remember judging them, I remember thinking as a kid.
Oh, God, like, I never want to end up like them. I remember hearing adults say things like, Oh. You know, I hope you never end up like them, shit like that, right? And. There is an element of disgust that I felt towards. Even Britney Spears, but watching this documentary made me realize, Emma. I mean, you didn't know any better, but Britney Spears is a human being. And after watching the documentary, I realized why she shaved her head.
I realize why she was doing drugs. I realized why somebody like Lindsay Lohan was doing drugs and was abusing alcohol.
And I and I. I realize why celebrities go off the deep end, and I realized. Why we shouldn't judge these celebrities. When they go through these things because they go through shit that most human beings could not handle, when I was watching this documentary, it made me feel sick to my stomach to see how Britney could literally not leave the house. Without having paparazzi follow her everywhere I'm talking about, there was like 15 paparazzi around her at all time, six times at all times when I say she had no privacy.
Britney had no privacy. She was constantly being filmed. She was constantly getting her photo taken in interviews. She was constantly being asked uncomfortable questions. Would be a fucking mess. If I was in her shoes and I can't name one person. That could be mentally stable. Living in Britney's conditions, I cannot name one person, I mean, luckily, since the early 2000s, the media has. Definitely cleaned up their act, I mean, you don't really see 15 paparazzi following around celebrities to every single place that they go, it just isn't really like that anymore.
I think the paparazzi have kind of scaled it back a little bit. I feel like they are a little bit more respectful these days. I mean, don't get me wrong. The media still. Makes people look like shit all the time, but it's not even close to as bad as when Britney was in her prime. And Lindsay Lohan was in her prime. I mean. It was ruthless, like there was one clip of Britney coming out of a gas station bathroom and she was just mobbed by paparazzi, she just took a shit like she doesn't want it.
I have to push through paparazzi to get back out to her car. You know what I'm saying? Like, that is ruthless. I don't know anybody that could handle that. And so it just put a lot into perspective for me and made me realize, you know, we are all human and humans can only take so much. And being Britney would have been a fucking nightmare. You guys know what's coming up, Daylight Savings Time, you know, there's a price to pay with Daylight Savings Time because you lose an hour of sleep, but you get a little bit more sunlight during the day.
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Check it out the next day. I want to talk about is substance abuse within celebrity culture because you see a lot of people struggle with drug abuse, alcohol abuse in Hollywood.
Right. And you see it online. You see celebrities going to rehab. You see, you know, celebrities even die from drugs or alcohol. And I think a lot of people tend to judge the celebrity. Right. I mean, as I mentioned earlier, I totally judged Lindsay Lohan. I totally judged Britney Spears when they would struggle with drugs or alcohol or they would have a complete meltdown. I would totally judge.
As a kid, because I was like. You guys are supposed to have it all together, you guys are the celebrities, and you would think in like 20, 21 that, you know, this wouldn't really happen anymore and people would be a lot more gracious about. Any human struggle, even if it's a celebrity dealing with drug abuse or alcohol abuse, you would think that by now we would be a little bit more gracious, a little bit more understanding.
But I still see crazy negative tabloid articles about different celebrities having drug overdoses or going to the hospital or going to rehab. And it blows my mind because.
That is just not something to take lightly, and after moving to L.A. and living here for a few years and kind of meeting celebrities and even. Getting a little taste of fame myself, I completely understand. Why celebrities struggle with substance abuse a thousand percent. And I think as someone who. Is just looking from a bird's eye view, somebody who isn't famous, somebody who. Has a private life. I can see how somebody like that would judge because they would be like, come on, like you have money, you.
Our famous You're Living the dream, how the fuck could you get addicted to drugs, how the fuck could you get addicted to alcohol? And I can see. Were that. Perspective may come from I could see how somebody could see it like that, I totally get it. But after getting a glimpse into this world, I totally understand why there's so many problems with this.
And. I think the main issue with it is just the overwhelming pressure. When you're in the public eye to be perfect, to always know what to say, to never fuck up, to never make one wrong move.
There's a huge amount of pressure on celebrities, you know, to be perfect and. Unfortunately, that's just not possible, you know what I mean? We're human, we're all going to fuck up, but when you're in the public eye, you feel like you can't ever fuck up. And that in itself will make you want to escape using drugs, using alcohol, but also.
I think that being a celebrity. Fucks with your sense of identity, because everybody is telling your story for you. The press is telling your story for you. They're making up the narrative. Not you, so you don't have control over what people think about you. You have zero control over your public image and you have zero privacy when you're a celebrity and. That feeling of having no control. Is so anxiety inducing that a lot of celebrities go to alcohol, go to drugs.
To escape from that feeling, because that overwhelming pressure and overwhelming feeling of vulnerability can be crippling at times, and I think the reason why people don't have sympathy is because celebrities make a lot of money and a lot of people think, oh, if you're rich, you can solve all your problems. I do think that being, you know, having money can solve some problems, but some problems cannot be solved by anything, you know what I'm saying?
And having the whole world dictate.
Who you are and decide what they think of you. As a collective. There's no no money can fix the toll that that takes on you mentally, unfortunately, and I'm not necessarily talking about influencers right now, I'm more just talking about celebrities because they think influencer, celebrity versus like A-list Britney Spears celebrity is very different. So I'm talking about.
A-list celebrity here, and we'll talk about influencer celebrity later, but I just think it's kind of different, but I totally get why Britney Spears freaked out. Because the media was not only following her everywhere that she went. Not letting her even have a peaceful dinner to herself. But also, they were painting her to look bad, they were. Creating a very negative narrative about her and the world was believing it and it wasn't really fair. But the paparazzi was making money.
The newspapers were making money, the tabloid magazines were making money, so. The Hollywood industry will trade money for anybody's well-being any day they don't fucking care. And it's just awful. One of the reporters in the Britney documentary described. Consumers. Of tabloid. Press. As vultures, like we're vultures when it comes to celebrities, we're so quick to hate them, we're so quick to judge them, we're so quick to. Say that they're awful, gross, disgusting people for making one mistake, but.
It's not fair, it's like a fucking bloodbath, but it's because humans feed off of drama, they feed off of negativity a lot more than they feed off of positivity. I mean, I'm guilty of this. If I had two articles in front of me, one about Britney shaving her head and one about Britney donating money to charity, I am probably going to read the one about her shaving her head because it's more interesting. It's human nature, and even though I'm aware that.
This, you know, judgment and negativity towards celebrities is kind of fucked up, I still. I am guilty of falling for the Kachi article over the positive article, I'm way more likely. To read about drama than about positive stuff, unfortunately, and I would say. There's nothing that we can do about it, and that's just what's sad about. The celebrity world, you know, it's like everybody wants to be a celebrity when they're younger, everybody's like, I want to be the most famous person on the planet.
I want to be a household name. I want to be a superstar, whether it's with acting or music or whatever, growing up. You fantasize about the idea of being a celebrity, almost every kid has done it at least once.
And even some adults fantasize about being famous and being this crazy A-list celebrity that gets let into any club, bar, restaurant store, whatever that gets let in anywhere and gets the special VIP room and makes zillions of dollars and blah, blah, blah, everybody dreams about that. It's the fucking dream. Right? But then you see. What happened to Britney and your like? Wait, this shit is not great, actually being the biggest celebrity in the world is a fucking nightmare.
It would be terrible. I'm so grateful personally for. My career and. Where I'm at in it, because I can still go to the grocery store and have nobody noticed me, I can still.
You know. Go to a clothing store and. Just get to look at close and it be peaceful and don't get me wrong, sometimes, you know. I get recognized and it's amazing and it's great and I love it, but. I have a lot of privacy still. And I'm so happy with that because I'm not even. Close to being the most famous fucking person in the world like Britney Spears, I don't want that at all. I'm perfectly happy with.
The level that I've reached here and how many people that know me, I this is more than enough. I am happy with this, I'm satisfied with this. I have no urge to become more famous.
But a lot of people.
In L.A., in New York, in Hollywood and wherever that are famous, want to get more famous. I don't know one. Influencer or celebrity that doesn't want to be more famous? Ninety percent of them want to be more famous, they want to reach the top, they want to be the top. I don't think that that's a great place to be. At all. In especially after watching this Britney documentary, I know that it's not a great place to be.
Talk about no privacy. Talk about. Next level scrutiny from the public talk about. At your every move being watched, talk about never getting to go to the grocery store in peace again, that sounds like a fucking nightmare.
I don't know why people think that being the most famous person in the room is going to. Make your life better. I really don't think that that's the case most of the time. Now, let's talk a little bit more about influencer culture, influence or celebrity culture, because it's really different. But it's also kind of the same, it's weird because a lot of people don't consider influencers to be celebrities. Right. They kind of are in a way, I mean, I don't know, I asked myself this all the time, are influencers, celebrities?
I mean, what's the definition of a celebrity, somebody that's well known by a lot of people. So with that definition, yes, influencers are celebrities. But. It's different for some reason, and I think the reason why influence or fame is different is because a lot of times there's really no talent involved and there's no industry involved. Right. Influencers get famous. From just posting on social media and gaining followers. All on their own, whereas an actor or a musician, they have to get signed to an agency or they have to get signed to a label or they have to get signed to a management company of some sort, they have to, you know.
Go to casting's and go to. Whatever the fuck they have to, like, go through the industry to get famous, whereas influenza's just get famous and sometimes influencers get famous and there's really no reason why they got famous, which is not an insult at all. But it's just true. Sometimes people get famous just because. They're cute or just because. They were in the right place at the right time, and sometimes there's no real rhyme or reason why they're famous, some people might even say that about me.
I'm cool with that. I don't necessarily have some sort of crazy talent. I'm not an actor. I don't sing. I don't like, dance like whatever. Like, I just have fun on the Internet and hope that people want to hang out with me.
Some people might think that I. Got to the place that I am today, but with luck, that's totally fine with me. These are the cards I was dealt Phuket, but some people. Just get famous. Because they were in the right place at the right time, and I think that kind of takes the legitimacy away from said persons fame. In the eyes of the public, right? And because of that, they are judged a lot harsher and.
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The biggest issue with influencers becoming famous is that with a lot of them, it happens really fast.
It happens like overnight, sometimes for no reason. And they have no time to media train themselves, they have no time to clean up their act, they have no time to. Figure out. How they're going to handle this, they just get famous overnight. And then they're like, what the fuck do I do? I have this platform now, but I don't know what to do with it and that's why so many of them misbehave. I think so many influencers misbehave because they didn't even expect this, you know what I mean?
They just woke up and they were like, now I have followers, but I don't really have a talent. So I don't really know why this is happening. And nobody's telling me how I'm supposed to behave on this platform and. I don't know what the fuck to do with this, and that's why so many influencers are. Sometimes irresponsible. Fuck up a lot like that's why that happens, because. Everybody's a human, but. If you just throw a normal kid.
Into the mix and make them famous. Chances are they're not going to know how to act or carry themselves. If you took a random kid from your high school and made them famous, would they know how to behave? Probably not. Takes a long time to figure out how to handle all of this and how to know what you should share and what you shouldn't share and how to know what should be private and what shouldn't be private. It makes sense that so many influencers misbehave because they're famous for kind of no reason sometimes.
I think a lot of celebrities and a lot of influencers struggle with this feeling of. Needing to be perfect and listen, not everybody is like this, not all celebrities, not all influencers are like this. Some of them don't give a fuck, but I think a lot of them struggle with this. Feeling of needing to be perfect because they're constantly under a microscope, they're constantly being watched, and I think it can be extremely debilitating for a lot of them and I think it can lead a lot of celebrities to drug abuse, alcohol abuse.
Really self-destructive behaviors towards themselves because they just don't know how to cope, and I know I've dealt with this myself, even though I am on the smaller scale of, say, fame and celebrity, I'm fucking a YouTube and a podcast like that's it. I'm not like a movie star of sorts. I'm not a rock star of sorts. I'm, you know. I have my little corner and but I still feel this insane pressure to be perfect. And to never make a mistake and.
To. Always make the right decisions every single. Time I have to make a decision, but that's not realistic and. I know that and I know that. I'm putting this pressure on myself and that it's unnecessary, but because I've felt it and I felt how excruciating it can be sometimes. I now understand why. So many celebrities are so miserable and they go into dark places because. Even though I'm dealing with this stuff on a smaller scale, it's even it even gets to me.
So I can't imagine what it's like for the big, big celebrities. It's probably fucking exhausting.
And that's not to say that all scrutiny is bad, like some celebrities will do some genuinely fucked up shit and will deserve to be scrutinized. Sure, we can't avoid that, but. It's when the media twists the story and demonizes someone. Unfairly or even blows something out of proportion, just for clicks, just for views, just for.
Money, that's when it gets fucked up, when you're blowing up something into something way bigger than it needs to be just for money. At the expense of a celebrity, now, some may argue, well, celebrities put themselves out there. So if they get scrutinized, then they get scrutinized, yes, but also. That doesn't make it right. You see them saying like, yes. If you put yourself in the public eye. People are allowed to say whatever they want about you.
Sure, that's true, but that doesn't make it right. Do you see what I'm saying? That doesn't make it right. That doesn't make it fair. Because people don't choose to get famous, you know what I'm saying, it happens to them. And that's why it's such a morally confusing thing to think about, because it's like, well, you know. Britney Spears chose to. Keep going to audition, she chose to start making music, she chose to do concerts, she chose to let albums, we let albums out, release albums, she chose to release albums.
She chose to keep going and she chose to get more and more famous. So she. It has to handle what comes her way after that, she has to take everything that comes her way and she can't complain, you know, because she did it to herself. She kept going. She could have stopped. Once she started to get famous, she could have stopped, she could have retired after one album and everybody would have forgotten about her, but she kept going and that's her fault.
Yeah, but. That doesn't make it OK for the media to make her look awful all the time. So anyway, it's very interesting. It's very confusing morally. I'm conflicted.
I don't know, you know. Who's in the wrong here, but I also don't think anybody's in the wrong, really, I think it's just the way that it is in celebrity culture. You know, celebrities are always going to be looked at.
As objects and not real humans, you know, it's just how we're wired and. It's unfortunate for the celebrity, but also. It is what it is, and I think my main. Reason for wanting to make this episode was because I know that as a kid, I wanted to be famous, I wanted to be a movie star, I wanted to be a rock star.
Sure. Like who doesn't? When I was a little kid and even when I got a little bit older, I was like, wow, yeah.
Being famous would be so fun and easy. Like, I wish I could do that. Like, that's just the easy job. That's the easy life path. I always thought that I always believed that being famous would be the easiest way to get through life. And now that I've witnessed. Celebrity culture more closely, I realize. Hell, no. This shit does not seem fun and the grass is always greener, you know? You're always going to look at what could be and thank God that would be so much better, but let me tell you, I don't think that.
The universe lets anything be easy. Ever the universe always makes things difficult. You never just get to be famous and have this perfect life, there's no such thing as a perfect life. The universe doesn't work like that.
So any time you look at a celebrity and you think, oh, God, I would love to have their life, it just seems so much easier. I can guarantee it is probably awful. Like somebody's life that I wish I could have would be like Kendall Jenner. Like she's so gorgeous, she's so tall. She's a model like, oh my God, that would be so great. I know that that girl has a lot of struggles. I mean, not only did she grow up in a controversial family, she is, you know, whatever.
She also, you know, probably has this insane pressure with being a model and having to look a certain way all the time, being her would be terrible. She probably can't. Have any friends without thinking she's being used like who knows what she's struggling with, but I doubt it's easy. Same thing with Kylie Jenner, same thing with. Drake, I don't know, like you think Drake is happy when he has to spend the night alone in his massive mansion?
I doubt it. I bet it gets lonely for him sometimes, you know what I'm saying? Like, I know that shit probably sucks. Sometimes, and so the point is the grass is always greener. Famous people wish they weren't famous all the time, people who aren't famous wish they were famous all the time. I don't know when humans will ever find satisfaction in where they are, you know, in that moment. It's unfortunate that we always are comparing ourselves.
To people who live the opposite lives to us. But it is what it is, again, moral of the story is the grass is always greener and I think being a celebrity really actually sucks ass.
I think being an influencer in a way like I feel so happy with where I'm at because I and I'm so grateful for where I'm at, into where I've gotten at this point, and the reason why I'm so grateful is because. Number one, I still have a great amount of privacy and I've complained that I feel like my life is not private enough before, but now I feel stupid for saying that because after watching the Britney documentary, I realized, Emma, you have such a fucking private life.
Shut the fuck up. Like, yes, people see things that I'm doing, and, yes, I'm kind of under a microscope just because I, you know, yes, that is a part of it, but not even close. To as bad as like what Britney went through, are you fucking kidding me? I am like I am so lucky because I. Get to have a relationship with all of you guys. And there's a lot of you guys, but I still get my privacy, though, and even when sometimes my privacy is infringed upon.
That's part of it and whatever. I still have a lot of privacy at the end of the day and. I still have an intimate relationship with the people that follow me because. It's not too big, it's not too. Crazy to a point where I'm disconnected from you guys, like I still feel connected to you guys, even though, you know.
It's crazy how many of you listen to me every week or follow me on Instagram to see my clothes or my whatever the fuck, or follow me on YouTube to hang out with me every week, even though there's a fuck ton of you. It still feels really intimate. You know. And I'm so grateful for that and. All of the hardships that come with being in the public eye are very much worth it because of the connection I have with you guys.
And it's interesting because if I never gained another follower, if I never.
Made another penny, if I never. Whatever I would be happy with that I'm so content with where I'm at right now, I have no need to.
Dig my way to the top, quote unquote, like I'm so happy with. What I've done, and I'm I'm it's exceeded what I could have ever expected to happen to me, and I don't want to be more famous. I don't want. For more people to know my name, I don't care. I succeeded at my goal, which was to have a big group of people who fuck with me and who want to hang out with me every week.
And to have a, you know, loving community like that on the Internet and to be able to make videos and podcasts and stuff like that.
To support myself like that was my goal. That was my dream and I accomplished all that, so I don't need any more.
And I wish more celebrities or even influencers would look at life like that because it's so much better and it really takes the pressure off, you know. So many people. Are freaked out about getting to the top and finally reaching the top, but chances are they'll never get there for one. And chances are, if they do get there, they'll realize. Nothing's changed. I still have to wake up every day, I still have to wipe my ass, you know.
It's all about appreciating where you're at and making the most of where you're at, and so, you know, that's kind of where I'm at with the whole thing. And I hope that what I just talked about made sense.
Very much praying because it felt all over the place and now I'm nervous. But on that note, we're going to get into questions I asked you guys to ask questions about celebrity celebrity culture, my opinions on it all, and you guys sent me some great questions. So let's just get right into it.
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Somebody said, what's a large stereotypes, large assumption about fame?
That isn't true.
I would say that you're going to feel different, like you're going to feel euphoric and ethereal. If you get famous, you're going to feel God like if you get famous, you're going to feel powerful. If you get famous, you're going to feel. All of that stuff. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't do that, and if it does, it's false and it's your own brain tricking yourself into thinking that you feel all this stuff when in reality it's all going to come crashing down.
Being famous doesn't change anything. It might change your bank account. It might change how you go to the grocery store. But it's not going to change how you feel about the world, how you feel about life, who you love and who you care about, who you hate and who you whatever. It's not going to change any of that. I'm sorry, but that's deep rooted in you. It's not going to make you feel any emotion that you haven't already felt before.
I talked about this in my episode about success. People think that success is going to make them feel a feeling that they've never felt before.
But in reality, humans only have.
A number of feelings that they can feel, and that's it, that's all we're capable of as humans. People think that if they get famous, they're going to feel some sort of. Euphoria that they've never felt before, but that's not the case. And if anything, being famous. Can make you really a mess, to be honest, most famous people are a mess. A mess when I tell you a mess, a mess, lonely, paranoid.
Addicted to something like that's the fucking truth of it, really, it's it's not. As romantic as it seems. Somebody said, do you ever wish that you weren't famous? I definitely have moments sometimes when I wish that.
I. Wasn't, yes, but. And I don't want that to sound ungrateful, because that's just the honest truth, sometimes I do wish that I could delete everything and I could just focus on myself. And it's usually in moments of extreme confusion in my personal life, like if I'm having crazy struggles in my personal life, the last thing I want to do is figure out, OK. How am I supposed to be present on my social media life here when I don't even know what's going on in my personal life?
Sometimes there's things like I don't want to share, I can't share just because they're too personal and I just don't feel comfortable in those moments. It's hard for me to be present on social media and. So sometimes I wish I just didn't even have to do that, but I also have, you know, a constant fear of doing something wrong. You know, I feel like my intentions are always good. I always want to make everybody feel good, put good shit out there that makes people feel good to be the best person I can possibly be.
But on the Internet, things get taken out of context so easily and people are so quick to, you know, call you evil. Right. And that causes me a lot of anxiety because I'm like because I know myself and I know my intentions and I know that I would never, ever do anything that would ever intentionally hurt anybody. And I have no, like, judgment towards anybody, but. You're not going to be perfect all the time, you know what I mean?
You're going to fuck up.
And so I always get scared that, like, I'm accidentally going to be rude to somebody or I'm accidentally going to say the wrong thing that's going to, you know, that could potentially harm somebody. But sometimes that stuff is out of your control, like it sometimes is an accident. And I always worry, like, what if I accidentally do something wrong, you know, because I know I'd never intentionally do anything wrong. But what if it's an accident?
And what if it gets spun out of control, it's like it's scary sometimes because. I don't want to cause any problems, you know what I mean, for anybody else or for me, I just want everything to be all positive fun and games. But it's not always like that on the Internet and especially right now. So that can kind of make me freaked out because I'm like, fuck, like, I just I don't want to accidentally hurt someone's feelings or actually do something wrong.
But it's also inevitable, like I'm a human being, you know what I mean?
And so I just have to take the pressure off myself and, you know, realize that, like, I'm not a perfect person and nobody is and I'm just going to do my best. But sometimes that pressure gets the best of me and I start to get freaked out about. Every move I make because I'm like, God, I don't know, like I don't know, I feel like I'm constantly under a microscope in a way, but then I really think about it.
I'm like, Emma, no, you're not like somebody like Britney Spears is under a constant microscope, not you. You know what I mean? Like, I don't have to deal with half the shit that most celebrities deal with, so I should just be grateful and just relax. And so that's kind of what I'm trying to teach myself. Somebody said, is it weird having people you don't know, saying, I love you, Bessey everyday to you also?
I love you, Bessie, I love you. Best to know it is not weird to me at all because I'm somebody that grew up on YouTube and I like was totally a fan of so many people. And they did feel like my best friends growing up. And so this is very natural interaction for me and I love it. Somebody said, is fame an illusion? I absolutely think so, because fame. Gives. The average person. The illusion that somebody else is.
Almost godlike. In a weird way like there, it's so fascinating to me how fame. Makes people seem. Godlike, and that's the only way I can explain it, but it's like if you think of Harry Styles, you think of him as like a godlike being. You don't think of him as a human being. You think of him as a character, as like a literal divine. Being do you know what I'm saying, like you people put celebrities on a pedestal and it is a complete illusion because all of these celebrities are literally no different than you.
That's it, it's crazy how much it gets into people's heads, including me, like I've met celebrities and freaked out because I had put them on such a high pedestal, my brain, for being so famous that it made me scared of them and nervous around them and intimidated by them, when in reality they're literally no different than me, they're no different than anyone else. But fame is an illusion because it will make you think that these people are on a pedestal and that they deserve to be there when in reality they're just a human like you.
They poop, they pee, they eat, they get sick, they get diarrhea. They're the same. It is the same. The only difference is that a lot of people know their name, but I'm sorry, they're just as human as anybody else. And it's really hard to realize that.
But it's true. Somebody said, does fame change, people like their ego grows bigger and they think that they're on top of the world and nothing can get to them a thousand percent. And, you know, there's a lot of privilege, I think, to that comes with being a celebrity. A lot of celebrities get special privileges, right. Whether that's. Never having to make a reservation at their favorite restaurant or getting things for free or, you know, constantly being praised for things that they're doing.
There's a lot of privilege with being a celebrity and I think.
That can really get to people's heads because they're like, I get special treatment in all these areas, I'm better than everybody else, even though their life might be extremely unfulfilling and lonely, or maybe not.
But for a lot of people, it changes their view of themselves, but it's not real, it's like it's literally they have the illusion of fame with themselves. And the unfortunate part about that is that that's not good. That doesn't lead to good things because then they lose touch with reality and then the public will start to feel that and they'll start to notice, like, oh, this celebrity is losing touch, like they are fucking.
Losing touch, we don't like them anymore, and the next thing you know, everybody hates that celebrity because they lost touch.
But it's really hard sometimes because if all of a sudden you get all of this privilege and all of these gifts and in all this special treatment. You know, it's it's inevitable, like some celebrities are going to start thinking of themselves differently and they're going to start thinking of themselves as gods, but. It's not real, you know what I'm saying, and they're lying to themselves and it will all come crashing down. It will all come crashing down, it's like a fake feeling of euphoria, it's not real.
Does that make sense, because I was saying earlier how you think you're going to feel a new emotion that you've never felt before, if you get famous now, you're going to just convince yourself that you do, but you don't. You're going to. Almost act like how you think you should act like, oh, I should I should think that I'm a God now because I'm famous. Does that make sense anyway?
Somebody said, who are some celebrities that inspire you, to be honest, I was really inspired by Britney in the documentary because when she first got famous, she was getting completely mauled by paparazzi every day. And in the beginning, she was such a good sport about it and she was so sweet and so patient. And I mean, eventually she lost her mind, but she was so sweet and patient about it. And I'm somebody that gets very anxious, even if I have fucking one paparazzi.
Talking to me, and that never happens, it's so rare that it even happens, but I'm I've not been a good sport about it in the past because it makes me uncomfortable and I hate it.
But seeing how Britney handled it with such grace and on such a larger scale, I was like, I need to be a lot better of a sport about that stuff, because as rude as they can be, like, why resent anything when you don't have to just treat everybody with kill everybody with kindness, even if you're uncomfortable? And I.
You know. As uncomfortable as I may get and. As uncomfortable as the questions they ask may be, you know, I'm inspired by how she behaved towards the paparazzi and you know, how kind she was, and it really made me realize that I should strive to do that more and push past my feelings of discomfort, anxiety, because at the end of the day. Come on, it's really not that big of a fucking deal. It can be uncomfortable, but it's really not that big of a fucking deal.
And it's, you know. You can always improve in those ways. So she inspires me in that way. Somebody said, would you prefer to be a household name or one of those niche influencers with a good following that nobody knows about? See, I kind of think that being a niche influencer of sorts is kind of the way to go and. I think most people would immediately answer that and say household name, duh, but if your goal is to build a really fun and loving community on the Internet and.
Maybe even to support yourself doing things on the Internet, you don't need to have. A crazy, crazy following, you don't need to be a household name in order to accomplish that and being a niche influencer, you know, might actually be a more positive way to do it because you still get your privacy. You're probably going to get a lot less hate and you're probably going to be scrutinized a lot less, but you still can support yourself, you know, on the Internet and using the Internet.
You just don't have the crazy scrutiny of the Internet. But you can still have that loving community and you can still be kind of famous in your own way.
It just might not be as large, but you still get all the benefits of having a following. It's just not as large, so there's less negative repercussions because basically how it works is the larger your following is. The greater the extremes are, so the more famous you are, the more hate you're going to get. But on the same hand, the more followers you have, the more love you're going to get, the more famous you are, you're going to make a lot more money.
But the more famous you are, the more lonely you might be because you can't trust anybody, because everybody's trying to use you to get somewhere to get something in their life. You see what I'm saying? So I don't know, I mean, I think that there's pros and cons to both to, you know, but I just don't think that. Being a household name should be the obvious answer. Somebody said, is there as much secretive stuff going on as everybody says?
I don't really know, because I kind of am isolated from the whole thing, but I think that there's a lot of things that go on that we don't hear about. I mean. Whether it's substance abuse. Or loneliness or depression like mental health struggles. I think a lot of really large mainstream celebrities hide these things because they're trying to create the illusion that their life is great and that, you know, a lot of mainstream celebrities don't want to let.
The world into that part of their life, because it doesn't benefit their work, like if you're an actor, you know. Talking about substance abuse could get in the way of you getting another job. Or another role. You see what I'm saying? So there's definitely a lot more struggle in mainstream celebrity life than we all see. And same thing with even influencers. I mean, there's a lot of influencers that I mean, they are hurting, whether it's like because they're lonely or substance abuse or whatever the fuck it may be.
There's a lot of struggles that people don't see because it's not comfortable to post like, hey, I you know, I'm really struggling with alcohol abuse. Like, you know, that's a really hard thing to talk about. And most people don't want anyone to know that, you know, also, like, there's a lot of that for sure. Somebody said, what's your opinion on paparazzi, especially when they ask more personal questions? I love you and your podcast so much.
I love you, too.
You know, I used to be a lot more negative about paparazzi and I used to be a lot more. Hateful towards them, because they used to make me really uncomfortable, but. I also understand that they're just doing their job, and I also. Realize that they are so much more respectful now than they used to be, like watching the Britney documentary was such a big eye opener for me. I mean, they used to be ruthless in the early 2000s, like, so ruthless.
Like. I saw one clip of Britney eating dinner at a restaurant in there was just 20 paparazzi around her table while she's eating dinner inside of a restaurant like that is fucked. That is fucked. That is so wrong. But I don't really feel like that happens anymore. And so it actually made me feel like, OK, wait, damn, paparazzi these days are actually so much more chill and so much more respectful and they're also just doing their job.
So as much as I think sometimes they can be. Kind of shady. At least they're not as bad as they were in the early 2000s and they also are just doing their job. You know what I mean? And again, celebrities put themselves out there and it's just part of it. So you might as well accept it, maybe even try to have fun with it instead of hating them or whatever. And listen, there's ways to deal with them.
If you just say, I don't want to talk about that. It's up to you what you talk about. So, you know. It's just part of it, unfortunately. Somebody said thoughts on parents who force their kids into fame at a young age like child actors. I think this is evil personally, because. It's evil, but it's also like. Some, but some kids are going to have to do it. You know what I mean?
Like some kids are going to have to act. So I don't know. That's actually a really good question. It's like, OK, well, that who's going to play the the kids in movies if, like, nobody does it. I think here's my stance. If the kid has a genuine talent and genuinely wants to do it, I think all power to the parents for putting their kids in it, even though the kids may be too young to understand how it could affect them down the line.
Listen, if the kids are good at it and they want to do it and you have a talk with them and you're like, listen, you could be famous and this is what that's going to be like, and it's not necessarily going to be easy all the time. That's all you can do. And if that's your kid's dream, then do it. But if you force your kid into acting and stuff like that, because you as a parent want your kid to be famous so that you as a parent can live vicariously through your kid, then that's fucked up.
And that's my stance on that. Somebody said, how do you feel about people who do certain things to gain fame?
This is always really freaked me out, to be honest, like people who do really extreme things, like maybe pull like a super fucked up prank or like click bait things in a fucked up way or, you know, even do weird shit behind the scenes like, you know, pay people behind their back and like, I don't know, like weird shit like that to get more famous and to get ahead. I've always felt. Weird about that, because I feel like.
That's not I don't know if it's unfair, but it's like. It's like if you have to cheat your way to accomplish things, then maybe you shouldn't be doing it. You know what I'm saying, like, if you have to cheat your way to the top, then you probably shouldn't be doing it. I mean, listen, if you do things to gain fame, like you take a movie role that maybe you wouldn't normally take, like, OK.
That's different, but if you're just cheating your way to the top by going behind people's backs, using people doing shit like that. That's just not. Genuine. You know, that's cutting corners, and in that case, I think that it's shallow and it's gross and. The fame in that case is not really deserving, you know what I mean, because you just use people to get to the top. You didn't do it yourself.
And that happens a lot in L.A. You know, a lot of people use other people to get to the top. And that's why it's very lonely sometimes because, you know, within the influencer community or even the celebrity community, which I don't know about them, but like whatever, it's like everybody's trying to use each other and most friendships aren't genuine. And that's fucking scary. Like, I don't like that energy at all. I don't like feeling like somebody is only talking to me because they want to use me for something.
I don't like that feeling. And that's how most conversations are in L.A. or even New York or wherever, you know. Large groups of social media influencers are and or celebrities like people just want to use you to get to the next step, and I hate that. And joining me wrong, there are some celebrities are influencers that are not like that, but it's more common. To be a user. Then not when you're famous, I mean, it's crazy how many celebrities are users.
Somebody said, how does fame affect relationships? Well, I think I'm going to say relationships broadly like romantic friendship, family, all relationships, I think it's really hard because, you know.
As somebody with a following or as somebody you know. Fame in some way, like. You give up a lot of privacy and unfortunately, sometimes the people in your life are going to have to give up some privacy even though they didn't ask for it. And that can be really difficult because it can create resentment. In between you and your family, friend, related boyfriend, girlfriend, whoever, it can create resentment sometimes because they're like, I want to have a private life.
I don't want people to, you know, be trying to figure out what I'm doing. Like, I want to be private. I want to have privacy. I didn't sign up for this. But just because I'm in your life, I have now lost. Some of my privacy, just because I'm in your life, and that can create a lot of resentment sometimes, sometimes not, some people are totally chill about it. And I'd say most people are, at least in my life, like I've been so lucky that my friends and family and, you know, all that have been so accepting of.
You know how things may have changed for them. Because of how things changed for me, but it's like not everybody wants to be known on the Internet, not everybody wants to be known in general. And so it can definitely put a strain on things because.
It can affect their lives and sometimes in negative ways, you know, but. It's all about communication and. Just. Getting through it, you know. Somebody said, please talk about how people don't know what's going on behind the screen. I know that I've talked about this a lot already in this episode, but I just really do think I need to say it again, like.
Nobody really knows, like nobody really knows what's going on behind the screen ever, and I can guarantee you, no matter what celebrity you idolize, there's more going on behind the scenes than you could even imagine.
And their lives are definitely very different than you probably think that they are. I mean. I just know that and even with somebody like me who I put everything out there, I mean, almost everything, not everything, everything, but I put a lot of my personal life out onto the Internet.
Yet there's a lot of things that people don't know about me still, you know, like what I like I don't know, like my the drama that goes on on the day to day with me are like, you know, the mental health struggles I deal with, as open as I am about them. I don't talk about my mental health every time I'm struggling by any means. I haven't talked about so many of those struggles. I talk about them occasionally.
But there's a lot more than what I discuss. But. The only thing that the public knows about a celebrity is what the celebrity decides to share. So the public will think, oh, well, that's it. Like, there's nothing else going on, like what we see is what's going on. There's so much more and it's interesting to me personally, like I wonder. Like what? You know. Harry Styles, day to day life looks like I'm so curious because we don't know, I wonder what he cries about.
Like, I wonder those things. I'm using Harry Styles as an example, but there's so many like Lady Gaga.
Like, what does she cry about? You know, what are her mental health struggles like, you don't know, like has she ever been addicted to something like we don't know, like is she like how does she cope with her fame? Like, you know what like has it affected her personal relationships?
Like, we don't know.
And so. It's interesting, you know, and it's also none of our business, but it's also like. There's so much more than what meets the eye. Somebody said, I want to become an influencer because I feel like that would make me happy in different ways. Do you have any tips on how I can become a tick tock influencer? So I want to stop you and say. Becoming a take talker is not going to make you happier. But if you have a passion for it and you have something you want to share with the world.
Then you do it. Do something that's from your heart, if you love cooking, start cooking on tick. If you love talking about your day, telling stories, giving advice, do that on talk, talk if you're a really good dancer. Dance on Tick-Tock. If that's something that you want to share with the world, then do it. And if you get famous from it, great. But I'm sorry, you're probably not going to be happier.
Happiness comes from much deeper than something as shallow as fame. Fame will never give you happiness because it's just not deep enough. Happiness comes from so deep within and there's so many layers to it that something as simple as gaining followers on take talk just won't be able to supply you. That happiness comes from being passionate about things and loving yourself and appreciating yourself and having people in your life that you love and care about. And that's where happiness comes from.
Not from having a few hundred thousand Tick-Tock followers, it just won't help. But it might help if making take talks is your passion, if you're passionate about making take talks, that might make you happier. But the fame element is not what's going to make you happier. It's being proud of the content that you produce. That's what makes you happy. Not the fame that comes along with it. Anyway, I had so much fun with this episode, I'm I really hope you guys enjoyed it.
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I'll see you next week. Stay. Stay sexy, baby. Sorry, that's creepy. Stay awesome and rock on. All right. Bye, guys.