Bramble's. This episode of Anything Goes is presented by door dash, use, promo code, anything for 25 percent off your order of 15 dollars or more.

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Anything Goes.

I'm Emma Chamberlain, your host and your best friend, otherwise known as your bestie. I hope you're having an amazing day. Hi.

It's nice. And early in the morning, it's like 8:00 a.m. right now. I just woke up. So if you're wondering why my voice sounds maybe a little bit raspy. That's why you probably like Šamaš, doesn't sound raspy, you want it to sound raspy. You want to have hot, sexy morning voice.

But you don't bitch, and I know and I know that I'm I know. Anyway, let's just get right into the topic today, because I have really nothing to talk about, like I have nothing else to talk about.

Nothing has happened that's worth updating you on, we're just going to get straight into the topic of today's episode. Today's episode is going to be about traveling alone because this is a newfound passion of mine. I just got back from a trip to New York.

I went to New York for about a week by myself.

And I had so many realizations and I also never realized how truly great traveling alone can be, and I urge all of you to try it if you're a little bit too young to travel alone.

This is something you can look forward to. And if you're not fully comfortable traveling alone personally, which I totally get, some people just cannot do that. Maybe this is something that you can warm up to down the line.

I'm just planting the seed, OK, but I just think that there's a lot to be gained from traveling alone and.

I personally never saw a reason for it because I felt like. Being in a foreign place is so much more fun with, you know, your friends, your family, and it's more comfortable. But after going to New York by myself for a week, I truly realized why traveling alone is such a. Borderline spiritual experience. And I wanted to share what I learned, what happened, how it was, et cetera, et cetera, and just plant a seed for you guys.

If you guys aren't. Lone travelers, you know. OK, so the first kind of thing I want to talk about is why I went.

Basically, I was kind of alone in L.A., like everybody that I hang out with or that I'm close to was doing things like either working or on a trip or, you know, and it just I was just kind of on my own.

And listen, I'm on my own 90 percent of the time anyway. I'm usually on my own.

But it feels a lot worse when you know that you couldn't just hit someone up if you wanted to to hang out. Now, listen, I'm calling from a small circle here. I talk to about three people in total. Max. And. So I was kind of on my own, which was fine. But kind of a bummer, especially because. L.A.. Is not really my friend right now. The energy here is pretty awful, I can't really put a finger on why I've also been here for four months straight, which is.

You know, kind of a long time, I try to get out of town every few months, and so four months is a lot for me to be here at once, and that might sound so. Fucked, right, but. There's something about L.A. that's so draining, and I know it is a privilege in itself to even be able to talk about this as an issue, but. Issues are relative, you know, and for some reason, Los Angeles just drains me and makes me sad, it makes me feel like shit.

And so I try to either go on a road trip, whether that's like somewhere in California or whatever, or, I don't know, just do something, even go stay in a hotel somewhere.

Just get out of. My direct house in Los Angeles every few months. I don't know how I just ended up here at this point, I don't know how I ended up in this talking point I like. But anyway, so all my friends were out of town. I had a relatively free week. I didn't have a lot of, quote unquote work stuff going on. Hate talking like that, but you know what I'm saying? OK, I didn't have any meetings.

I didn't have any photo shoot. It was just free week, so. I was like, you know, I'm just going to seize this moment, right? I'm going to have to be home alone anyway. I kind of need to get out of town, let's just do it, so I looked into traveling to New York, figure it out if that was something I could do right now, safely and legally and all that and. It. Look like something that was very possible, and so I started planning the trip and immediately.

I felt really good because prior to planning this trip. I was in a really serious lull, but also a depressive episode, too, I mean, I was kind of going through it. And I don't really know why you never really know why, but I was just in a rough spot, but immediately as I started to plan this trip, it gave me something to be excited about because I hadn't been excited about something in months. And this was something that was all for me.

I was doing this all for me, and it felt really good to finally be taking initiative. And finally. Do something for me. You know, it felt really good and so I was super excited. Planning the trip is obviously complicated because right now in this climate, of course, you know, there's a lot more precautions that you need to take and stuff like that. But I was so motivated to do everything and cover all my bases so that I could go on this trip.

And that was exciting, too, because I had had no motivation to do anything besides exist for months. Like, I couldn't shower. I couldn't I didn't want to cook. I didn't want to. Clean my house, I didn't want to do anything but seeing myself be motivated to do. Somewhat, you know. Tedious things like going and getting covid tests are filling out online forms. I was motivated to do that and that may seem like a small victory, but it was like.

Cool to see, OK, wait, Amadu. Art. Down that bat, you know what I mean, you you actually are motivated by the right things right now. You're just not your life just doesn't have exciting things going on in it that make you feel motivated, if that makes sense. So, like. It proved to me that. OK, if I find something that excites me, I still have drivin me somewhere. Do you know what I'm saying, anyways, I'm getting a little bit.

I'm getting a little wordy over here. But I finally felt excited and so this was great. But another reason why I wanted to go is because my social battery was severely drained. Now, what I mean by that is. My. Ability to be social in any capacity, not just in person, but also over the phone on social media even was just gone. I could not answer people's phone calls like I could not. Interact with people and I've been struggling with this for.

Upwards of six months now. Just not having it in me to have a conversation because conversations drain me more than they uplift me, and so I just couldn't find a reason to be social, really, in any capacity. And I was trying, but it just wasn't working. My social battery empty, gone. It's been gone, whatever. But the appeal of going to New York was OK if I go to New York. And I don't answer my phone, that's at least a more valid excuse than, oh, I just don't want to talk to you right now, because that had been my excuse for the past four months.

And so. It was almost like this relief, right, where being in New York would make me feel better about ignoring everybody and that might not be a great coping mechanism, but it was so appealing to me to. Relieve that pressure. I also don't know anybody in New York, nobody nobody's going to ask me to hang out. Nobody's going to. You see me at the grocery store and be like, hey, what are you doing later?

Like, none of that, you know what I'm saying? Just me by myself and a bunch of strangers, and that was just so tempting to me. But I also think that my social battery's drained because of social media and I know, oh, don't even get me started. I know the last thing that anybody wants to hear about is the effects of social media on our brains, because guess what?

We've all been talking about it for years, four months, four weeks, whatever. Everybody's sick of it. It's such a stale conversation, I know whenever somebody starts a conversation or starts a sentence with Yahn due to social media, shut the fuck up. Trust me, I know it's so frustrating to me as well. I hate it, but. I watched the social dilemma. Which is a documentary on Netflix about social media and the effects that it has on, you know, your brain and how it's extremely addictive and whatever, and they were talking about how, you know, it's not natural for humans to.

Have access to what everybody is doing and have access to opinions of everybody at any given time, and I might be butchering this because I watched it a week ago or so, but.

They were mentioning something about how. Humans are kind of instinctually wired to. Listen to what other people have to say, because a long time ago, before far before social media, we were in tribes in a way or families like that's how we lived our lives.

That was our community and it was tight knit. And so you would listen to what your community was saying. You listen to what your tribe was saying and. That meant something to you, but now we're wired to listen to our community, listen to our tribe in a sense, but it's on such a larger scale because we're seeing comments from bazillions of people, seeing posts from bazillions of people. And that's not natural. It's not natural to have to process that many people's actions in that many people's opinions.

It's just not natural.

And it creates so much anxiety and it makes you feel drained because you're just not wired to be analyzing that many people. And so I think that that's why. You can go on your phone all day and see nobody but feel extremely drained socially by the end of the day, because you've been on social media all day and you're kind of in a weird way, being social, but not directly. And it drains you and I think that that's what I was dealing with, I was feeling this.

Exhaustion socially, but it was confusing because I wasn't actually hanging out with really anybody, so it didn't really make sense to me. I was like, why am I so drained for no reason? But then watching that documentary made it all make sense to me. And so I was just feeling severely drained. So not only did I want.

A way to escape the responsibility of having to hang out with people or talk to people, but I also wanted a fun new environment that could distract me from going on my phone because I am severely addicted to it, as we all are. Anyway.

Spring is coming, baby. I can feel it in the air. I was outside yesterday and it felt almost like summer, which is how I know spring is coming. I don't know how that makes sense, but it does in my brain.

OK, Macy's is bringing a whole new energy for spring through three trends that are just right for right now. First is bright. Now Macy's has a bunch of bright, happy colors that your closet needs right now for the new warm weather. They have everything you can want. High waisted pants, bright jumpsuits, citrus colors, wide leg, comfy pants, everything you can imagine. All in fun, bright colors. Next, Macy's has the bloom on collection.

Beautiful florals to just remind you that spring is here and the flowers are blooming. OK, Macy's has floral bathing suits, graphic tees, head to toe petals on a beautiful, gorgeous dress. And you can feel confident knowing that it all goes well together. Macy's also has the minimalist moment that craving for everything pared down and making the most of what you already have in your closet. Think monochrome head to toe, muted colors like playful grays, dramatic blues and versatile tans, easy fits and tailored touches, plus a few gold accessories.

Make your outfit a total look. You can find all of that, plus some of my personal favorites I've selected just for you at Macy's Dotcom AGMA. I hand curated Macy's dot com slash Emma, so it'd be perfect for you guys. And there's something for everybody on there. That's Macy's dot com slash. I'ma go check it out. Thank you, Macy's, for sponsoring this episode. Another reason why I went was because I feel like a change of pace.

That could mean so many different things, but a change of pace can really help recharge your brain, and especially if you're by yourself, having to navigate a new place by yourself is extremely like it's very stimulating on your brain, because I know when I'm in L.A., I have a routine.

I have my set few people that I talk to.

And it's so easy to just sink into that routine and kind of become a robot, to be honest. And I've definitely become a robot. And. It just going to a new environment and having to figure it all out. Is. Exciting, and it taps into parts of your brain that you're not using on a day to day basis because you're out of your routine, and I think that that was something I really needed. But now let's talk about what I was concerned about going on this trip by myself, because I can imagine.

You know, I feel like I'm a pretty independent person and I was having these concerns. You know, I mean, independent, not in the sense of like, yeah, I'm independent, independent in the sense of I spend a lot of time by myself and, you know, I'm an only child and whatever. So that kind of naturally.

Made me more independent, but I still had these concerns, but for some people who. You know, maybe don't feel as comfortable being independent, which is totally fine. These concerns might even be amplified, but I'm here to comfort you and show you why you should be traveling alone.

So I'm trying to prove a point here. So my concerns were No. One feeling stranded. I was getting anxiety prematurely before I even left on the trip about feeling like I was trapped there. And if I ended up not enjoying myself, I was scared of feeling like I couldn't leave because, you know, I had to set. Date that I was going to leave and I could leave early, but I. There's reasons why you wouldn't want to do that, you know what I'm saying?

It costs money. It's like. And inconvenience, whatever. So I was worried about feeling trapped, and that was kind of my anxiety speaking, being like, well, what if you go and you have a terrible time and you feel trapped there? In reality? I could leave if I really wanted to. So. That was a stupid concern, but it was there, the second one was just being bored in general, like, is it going to be boring not having people to talk to?

Is it going to be boring at night in a hotel room by myself, you know, watching TV? Like, is that going to be depressing and boring? I don't know. I was also concerned about having FAMO in a sense, and I don't really feel like I get follo anymore, I kind of grew out of it. Fear of missing out. I feel like I don't really worry about missing out anymore because I'm just too tired. Which is honestly, it's like what's worse, I guess, but.

I don't really get Thelma anymore, but I was worried that I was going to because. Maybe something fun was going to happen in L.A., like they were going to have super big avocados at the farmer's market, I don't know, but I was worried that I was going to feel like I was missing something.

I also was worried about not feeling safe. In a way like being there by myself, I was worried that I wasn't going to feel safe enough to go and explore by myself, which is one of those things you don't really know if you're going to experience that or not once you're there.

So that was a concern.

And last but not least, I was concerned that I wasn't going to have the confidence to go out and about by myself and truly get the most out of the trip. I was scared that I was just going to.

Kind of give up and just stay in my hotel room the whole time, which to me was going to be a failure because I wanted to explore and try new foods and try new restaurants and try new coffee shops and just walk around like that's what I was so excited about.

And to me, a failure would be, you know, just to stay in my hotel the whole time because it's like, well, why wasn't I just in my own bed, goddamn it? So I was concerned that my own mind was going to get in the way and I wasn't going to go explore and do what I planned to do, because it takes mental energy to go out and explore, especially by yourself. When you have other people around, it's so much easier because they're like, oh, I want to go see the Empire State Building.

Oh, I want to go try this new restaurant. Oh, I've been wanting to go to the thrift store.

And the next thing you know, like. Everybody else planned everything for you and you're just going along for the ride and then maybe at some point you might be like, oh well, actually I wanted to go in here. And then it's like. You get to explore a lot because there's so many people that want to do so many different things if you're traveling in a group, but when you're traveling by yourself, it's like you have to motivate yourself to to want to go see things or go experience things.

And that's sometimes a little bit more difficult, especially if you're in a low mentally.

But I can tell you that no one I never felt stranded. I never felt bored. I never had Fumo. I only maybe felt unsafe like once. And that's because I was walking around late at night, which is, you know, scary, but that's also normal. And I ended up. Motivating myself to get out and go and walk a lot every single day, I really was determined to make the most of it.

And I mean, I did lay in bed for hours on end here and there just because I would get tired. But like, I felt OK about that, because in moments when I had enough energy, I was getting up and I was doing it. I was making the most of it and. It was great, I. Gained a lot from this trip. And so, naturally, I need to tell you what I gain from this trip. Number one, I really felt truly independent because normally in my you know, in L.A..

I feel independent because I'm by myself a lot, but I also don't feel independent because my family lives in hour flight away from me, they can literally, if I have a meltdown, they can book a flight and be here in an hour, or they could hop in the car and be here in five hours.

So there's definitely a lifeline there. But also I have, you know, my few friends and loved ones here. That are a support system for me, and they live even closer to me five to 10 minutes, so if I have some sort of meltdown or I'm feeling lonely or.

Whatever I can call them in and. Be with them in within 10 minutes, so. As independent as I am, I kind of have a lifeline here, you know, I feel like I can fall back on my support system so easily in L.A. because everybody's so close by. Whereas being in New York. I was completely alone, I couldn't just. Go and hang out with somebody late at night because I felt lonely or sad, I kind of had to fend for myself mentally in that way.

I mean, I could always give somebody a call, but it's different. And so. I felt fully independent for the first time in a really, really long time, possibly even a year. It's been that long. And it felt empowering to prove to myself, OK, I don't need anybody else to comfort me, I can comfort myself. You know what I'm saying? I don't need to. Go hang out with a friend when I get upset, I can actually be upset by myself and comfort myself and that's a really important skill to have.

Comforting yourself, but it's not an easy thing to do, you know. It takes a lot of practice, but I think when you get thrown into it by going and traveling by yourself, you can actually learn a lot quicker because. I had no temptation to go hang out with anybody or see anybody that I love. And I was less apt to call. My mom or dad or my friends, because I was like, no, Emma, you need to handle this by yourself.

You're on this trip by yourself, handle your discomfort or handle your sadness by yourself and see if you can do it.

And that was just so empowering because I would end up comforting myself, whether it was by listening to music or doing my skincare routine or writing in a journal or whatever it may have been, I had to figure out how to soothe myself, myself, and proving to myself that I can do that is really comforting, because at the end of the day, you only really have you.

And so feeling confident in your ability to comfort yourself can really help alleviate anxiety because you're not relying on other people to alleviate your anxiety.

And that's a really important thing, and I feel like. Being on a trip by myself helps reinforce that within myself, but it also proved myself that I can have fun by myself because. I always feel like I need certain people in order to have fun. You know, I don't mind spending time alone, and in fact, it can be really pleasant, but I don't necessarily have fun by myself, that's like a whole different thing. Having fun is a lot harder to come by being calm by yourself or being relaxed by yourself or having a decent time by yourself.

Is. You know, great in itself, but actually having fun by yourself is a whole nother level. I actually had fun days by myself. When I was in New York, and I prove to myself that. I can have fun by myself. I think the main reason why I was having fun was because I could do whatever I wanted. You know, there was nobody saying, oh, I want to eat at this restaurant, oh, I want to see this, you know, sculpture in this park.

Oh, I want to go see this museum. It was up to me like I could go do whatever I wanted. Listen, I don't like museums that much. They're great and all. But like, that's not something I want to do by myself. So I guess what, I didn't go and see museums. I like going for a walk, like that's what I really like to do, I like to go out and I like to walk and.

Just enjoy the outdoors. That's something I really like doing, and so I was able to walk for as long as I wanted, for as many miles as I wanted, and walk to any part of New York that I wanted. And whenever I got hungry, I would go eat lunch. Whenever I got hungry, I would go eat dinner and I go eat wherever I wanted. And nobody was saying, oh, well, I don't want to eat there.

I don't want to walk there and listen, there's. Amazing things that come with traveling with people, and I totally know that, and I'm not saying that traveling with people is bad, but I'm just saying that I was truly able to have fun by myself because I made my own itinerary. And if I would get tired and want to go back to my hotel room, I would do it. If I wanted to eat dinner at 10, 30 p.m, I could do that.

If I wanted to wake up at 4:00 in the morning and go for a walk, I could do that. It was like I got to do whatever I wanted and there was no.

Outside voice No outside opinion, and that was really great. Don't you hate it when you go to the store and the one thing that you needed was sponges or paper towels or something, and of course that's the one thing that you forget. Well, did you know that now you can get snacks, drinks and household essentials in 30 minutes with Jordache? Jordache connects you with the restaurants you love right now, right to your door. And now you can get the grocery essentials you need with Jordache to get drinks, snacks and other household items delivered to your door in under an hour.

Ordering is open the door dash app. Choose what you want from where you want and your items will be left safely outside your door with the contactless delivery drop off setting with over 300000 partners in the U.S., Puerto Rico, Canada and Australia, you can support your neighborhood go tos or choose from your favorite national restaurants like Popeye's, Chipotle and The Cheesecake Factory. For a limited time, you guys can get 25 percent off in zero delivery fees on your first order of fifteen dollars or more.

When you download the app and enter code, anything that's 25 percent off up to a ten dollar value in zero delivery fees on your first order when you download the Dauda app in the App Store and enter code, anything. Don't forget that's code anything for twenty five percent off your first order with Jordache subject to change terms apply. Thank you Dada's for sponsoring this episode.

Another really interesting thing that happened was while I was in New York by myself. I did a lot of self reflection, but instead of doing self reflection on myself, my own personality, because I do that kind of a lot, because I'm alone so much, it was more about my life as a whole. So when I was there, I found myself looking at all the different areas of my life where I live. You know who I surround myself with?

How I structure my actual life day to day, and I I was actually able to look at that from a bird's eye view, which I haven't done in a really long time. Again, probably. Six months to a year where I fully. I was thinking about how I structure my life, and it made me realize, you know, I don't know if I want to live. In the heart of L.A. anymore, you know, I don't know if that's for me, and that was something I never really realized until I was away from my own life.

I was able to realize, wait, I don't know if I want to live in L.A. anymore.

You know, it also made me appreciate the people in my life that I love a lot because I was able to see it from a bird's eye view and see how they positively impact my life. But I was also able to see how.

Certain people make me feel bad, you know, and don't align with where I'm at in my life and. That was also really important, you know, to see, OK, you know what, maybe I don't. Want to put up with this person anymore, maybe I just kind of want to cut this thing off, you know, like I was able to make those realizations and nothing drastic, but.

I just was able to see everything from a bird's eye view. You know, I realized that I feel really good when I go on a walk every day. And I was like, you know what? I'm going try to incorporate that into my life in L.A. and I just was able to really analyze everything. I also was off my phone a lot, I didn't post on social media, I. Wasn't really looking at social media, I would on accident.

But then I would turn it off that lasted for the first about four days that I was there, and then after that I kind of gave up because I was like, OK, I want to post take talks and, you know, I want to post Instagram photos that I took, like, you know, at a certain point, I was like, OK, I kind of want to share my trip because that's like naturally wired in my head, you know what I'm saying?

It's weird because nobody actually cares that much about what you're doing, but. I felt this like drive to share what I was doing with the Internet. And it was kind of overwhelming, actually, at one point I was like, oh my God, I want to post this photo. I took this beautiful photo of a bagel and I was like, God, I want to post this so bad. And I was like, Emma, why the fuck do you care this much about posting this stupid photo of this stupid bagel?

The bagel was not stupid, it was literally the most delicious thing I've ever heard in my life, to be honest. But no, you know what I'm saying? Like, why did I feel so antsy to post this photo of the stupid bagel? It doesn't make any sense. But at a certain point, I crumbled. I was like, no, I want to post. But I don't think posting is the negative part. I think it's the scrolling that's the negative part.

So I really. Tried not to look at anything, and that allowed me to just do so much more thinking, but also to enjoy everything for what it was. And in turn, my anxiety was a lot better not going on my phone constantly made me feel so much more calm.

In so much more level headed, and it was a really beautiful thing, and I told myself when I was on this trip, I was like, Emma, when you get back home, you're not going to go on your phone. You're going to stick to this. You are going to limit yourself to a half an hour, a day of scrolling and that's it. But. That hasn't really happened, but I was determined when I was on this trip, I was like, this makes me feel so good.

You need to stick to it, but of course, the second I got back, it was just like everything that I had, everything that I had worked on went back to square one.

But I do think that I planted a seed in my own head while I was there. And that's step one. So anyway, that is. What happened? That's what I learned, that's what I experienced, I think traveling alone is so important and it's something I really want to incorporate into my life so much more because I think it's so much more powerful than I would have thought. But I also think that it's what you make of it. Like if you go on a trip by yourself and you don't motivate yourself to get out of bed and you just go on your phone the whole time that you're there and stay in your hotel room, you're not going to have a profound experience.

But if you force yourself to stay off your phone and you force yourself to. Get up every day and make the most of the day. You're inevitably going to have a good time and you're inevitably going to realize things about your life that you wouldn't have otherwise.

Because you're breaking the routine and you're doing something different. This is something I really want to start doing because I like traveling, I do. I mean, I have a love hate relationship with it because. You know. It's really physically demanding, in a sense, like it takes a lot out of you to travel and I envy people that are like super resilient to traveling, they can just, you know, sit on a plane for 15 hours to Australia and, you know, spend three days in Australia and then go to Japan and then go to, you know, France right after.

And they just. Are fine, like I am not like that at all, like I get drained emotionally and physically very easily for some reason, but. I do enjoy traveling and I feel like I always wait up for everybody else to have a free schedule or to. Be excited about the idea of going on a trip to go on a trip, and that ends up. Meaning I rarely travel, you know, for pleasure anyways and. Now that I know that traveling alone can be so fun, I want to start doing it more because you only live one life, right?

And. Why wait up on everybody else to have experiences? You can't you can't do that, you'll wait your whole life to have experiences. If you want to experience something. Chances are you might have to experience it by yourself because waiting up for other people. May mean that you'll never actually get to experience it, so. I'm going to start traveling alone more like I've been really wanting to go to Portland, Oregon for a long time, but I've been waiting for somebody to want to go with me.

No, now, when the time is right, maybe I'll go to Portland, Oregon, by myself because I don't want to wait up for anybody anymore, you know? I don't know. It's just I learned that. Fuck waiting for everybody. Fuck waiting up for the for everybody, fuck it. OK, so I asked you guys to ask me questions about alone time, and you guys sent me some great questions. So that's what we're going to get into now.

Somebody said, whenever I'm alone, I always end up daydreaming about being a character in the shows that I watch and I'm never present in reality, I guess I'm trying to distract myself from my own thoughts. Is that normal? Totally, I mean, obviously, I'm not a psychologist, I'm not a therapist, I'm not a doctor, like, I don't know what's normal or what isn't, but I can say that I totally relate. I do this to, you know, you have like a muse in your head in a sense, like your daydream about.

Whatever, like I you know, you'll daydream about your crush, you'll daydream about. Having the life that you wish you had, you'll dream about so many different things. I don't think that that's harmful, but I also think that. It is important during your alone time to do a little bit of self reflection based in reality, too, and if that's something you struggle with doing naturally because, you know, naturally you distract yourself, I would recommend journaling.

I really think journaling helps because it forces you to. Be honest with yourself, because whenever something hits the paper. You're more likely to be honest when you're writing something down on paper than if you're just ruminating in your own head, a lot of weird shit can happen when you're just ruminating in your own head. But if you have a solid notebook in a solid pen and you just start writing. I can guarantee that that will be more honest and more rooted in reality.

So I would recommend journaling and you can even use prompts, you know, like what do you want to change about your life, what's going right in your life, what's going wrong in your life? And you can answer these questions in the form of prompts. There's a lot of great workbooks, too, that you can buy on Amazon or wherever the fuck, and that'll guide you.

On your journalling journey, but I think that that really helps. Somebody said how to motivate yourself to do something else from sleeping or watching, take talks or YouTube while being alone, my dad and I talk about this all the time because we both struggle with this.

Once you get into bed and once you start scrolling on, tick tock, you have to break the cycle, you have to break the cycle because. You'll just keep going. Tick tock in Instagram and YouTube are all made to be extremely addictive. You have to break the cycle. In almost a harsh way or else you'll just go back to it, so something that I'll do is I'll go on a walk. That's something I never did before. I like dappled in going for walks, but.

I'm really getting into it now. I really like going on walks, I think it's really, really helpful if you put your air pads in, put your headphones in, whatever, turn on some music and just go for a walk for 15 minutes. And you don't go on your phone, it doesn't need to be an hour long walk, it doesn't even need to be a 15 minute walk. Maybe it's just a 10 minute walk. Maybe it's just a five minute walk.

It doesn't matter, but it's getting you off your phone for a period of time. So that. You break the cycle and then when you get back home, you can do something else, you can. Maybe cook yourself a meal, maybe bake something, maybe start working on your homework or start working on work stuff that you've been putting off, but the first step is to break the cycle. So you just need to find anything that you can possibly do for five to 30 minutes that will break that cycle.

And get you off of tech talk for a period of time so that you can kind of reroute and then now you can go do something else. I also just ordered a few books on Amazon, and I'm going to start reading because. When I'm in bed. I don't know what else to do than to go on my phone, than to go on YouTube, than to watch, you know, a documentary like that's all I know how to do in bed.

But inevitably, we're going to spend a lot of time in bed with human beings and we need to recharge. So I'm literally going to start fucking reading books. I know I can't believe it either. I don't know who I'm becoming. I'm. Changing, but I. Just want the quality of my life to be better, and so at this point, I'm desperate. I can't. Spend as much time as I am on my phone anymore and have a good life, I'm realizing that.

My life is shitty because I go on my phone so much. It's a huge part of my depression and my anxiety. All the science in the world proves that and backs that up. A lot of my issues are rooted in my phone addiction, like almost all, and when I have a break from my phone for a period of time. It's evident that that is a root of a lot of my problems. Or at least exacerbates the already existing problems, like a lot of, you know, anxiety and depression that's there, that's going to be there and that's something that.

Is unavoidable for many people and myself included, but the phone makes it worse. And social media makes it worse. So my ass is going to start reading books I ordered, too. They're coming today, I'm excited. I'm nervous because I literally don't even know if I remember how to read. Like, I'm not fucking with you guys. Like, I don't know if I know how to read still.

Because I haven't read in so long that I'm like scared, but the vocabulary is going to be too complicated for me and I'm not going to know how to read it like I'm genuinely nervous about that. But regardless, I'll let you know how it goes.

But I think reading is so good. I think it's so good and it's so much better. And yeah, it's kind of weird and old fashioned, but I am desperate at this point. I know. Isn't it funny? Like reading is almost it feels old fashioned now.

It shouldn't, but it does. Somebody said, what if you're becoming too obsessed with being by yourself, you know? For me personally, I find when I'm getting really obsessed with being by myself and I just don't want to be around anybody, it's not because there's something wrong with me. It's not because.

I hate everybody necessarily, it's because that's what I need in that moment. And eventually. I will end up wanting to be social again if I give myself the alone time that I need. I only get obsessed with alone time when I need it. In my brain needs it. To help me grow, you know, your body and your mind will. Subconsciously make you do things sometimes when they need it, you know, you might accidentally fall asleep during class, it's because you're exhausted and you need to sleep, you know?

You might isolate yourself from everybody else because you need that time to recharge or to grow or to work something out.

You know, I feel like you sometimes need to trust your intuition and your body's intuitive. Nature at times, if it's telling you that you need to be alone, then you need to be alone and eventually you'll want to be social again. It'll happen, it's just not the right time right now. So I would say be patient with yourself if you're obsessed with being by yourself right now. Ride it out, I can guarantee you'll probably end up wanting to be social again pretty soon.

Somebody said, what are some of your favorite things to do by yourself? Recently, I love going on walks I love. Listening to this isn't really like, you know, a. This is more of a mindless thing, but I like to listen to podcasts that are educational. Whether it's about science or politics or. Psychology, whatever, I like to listen to those while I'm doing something else, like while I'm doing my chores or while I'm cooking or while I'm cleaning and.

I really enjoy that, actually, like, I know that that sounds weird. It's like, OK, you're doing chores and listening to, like an educational podcast.

It sounds like hell, but there's something really nice about it because it's like I'm being productive. But I'm also listening to something that's productive. And. It's soothing in a weird way, I don't know why that is, I think as I'm getting older, I'm enjoying cooking and cleaning and doing chores a lot more, which is nice because finally makes my life a lot easier to kind of enjoy it.

But I really like doing that. I also like to exercise by myself. Exercising socially is great, too, but going for a jog or doing a little weight workout or something makes me feel good because I'm releasing endorphins, but it's also kind of meditative. In a sense, when you work out by yourself, maybe even in silence or with relaxing music, it's great. It gives you something to do that's productive, but it's also makes you feel good afterwards, you know, when you sweat in any way or move your body in any way just feels good.

So I like to exercise by myself. I also been stretching recently. Like stretching for probably 10 minutes a day, I really enjoy that because, again, it's kind of meditative, but it's also. Useful because it feels good. And then obviously, you know, sometimes I'll watch a documentary or. I that that's pretty much it. I mean, it's simple, it's nothing too crazy, but going on a walk is my new favorite thing. Oh my God.

I also love going to the grocery store by myself. That's a new thing that I really like to do. I love going to the grocery store. Sometimes I'm not in the mood, but like when I'm in the mood, my God, it's my favorite thing. I love it. I don't know what I am turning into a middle aged woman. Like, I'm not kidding. I swear, I.

I skipped a few steps and I became a middle aged woman. Over the course of covid, like I literally went from rowdy teen girl to middle aged mother in a year. I go to bed at nine 30, my bedtime gets earlier every night, I woke up this morning at seven, I'm turning into a mother.

It's not good. Oh, I've also been laying in the sun recently, that's really nice if it's warm where you live. Go on, get a little vitamin D, wear your sunscreen, though, although I've been forgetting to wear sunscreen, so I'm literally wrinkling as we speak.

Somebody said, how can I spend time with just my thoughts, I feel like I always need some sort of distraction. Like music, social media, Netflix, podcasts, etc. Well, I would say that that's pretty normal, but I think that this leads us back to journalling. Or reading. Or even meditating. You don't need to spend a lot of time. Just completely in your own thoughts, but spending 10 minutes, journalling, spending 10 minutes, you know, meditating.

That goes a long way. And then after that, you can return to, you know. Your podcast or your music, I wouldn't recommend returning to the social media part, but. After you meditate, it's like you can go and, you know, listen to a podcast and you can listen to music or you can watch a fun thing on Netflix and feel a little bit better about it, because you did put in that work you put in that time by yourself.

And. It doesn't need to be long, but it's very useful. I would also recommend, you know, looking into different forms of media or entertainment that's actually like educational rather than just entertainment, because then at least you're learning something. That's what I found, like, don't get me wrong, I will watch junk food on the Internet, sometimes drama videos. I mean, it's it's inevitable. It shows up my explore page. I have to click it.

Whatever, you know, I'll watch just like. Content that maybe isn't useful or doesn't teach me anything or doesn't make me feel good. I watch that stuff all the time, but. It's balancing it with also stuff that's, you know, useful, like, oh, listen to a podcast about the ocean for like an hour and. If the person that's talking is interesting, then it's great because I just, you know, spent an hour being entertained fully, but in a way that is actually enhancing my life and my knowledge of the world and such.

So it's about balancing, you know.

Somebody said, how do I explain to people that I enjoy spending time alone, I struggle with this myself because I will not call people back.

I love doing that. You know I will. Not hang out with people for months. I will ignore people. I will, and it's just it's not even personal, it's just because I want to be by myself for a while or maybe I just only have energy to nurture.

A few relationships in my life at that time. Maybe that's like a significant other or my best friend and just my parents, maybe that's all I have, the energy. To deal with that's all I have the energy to nurture is just those handful of relationships. So for anybody else, I just don't have the energy, you know. The way that I justify it is I just say, listen, you're awesome, you're great, but I'm so overwhelmed right now.

I have a lot going on. I just I can't be a good friend to you right now. I mean, I'll be honest if I need to, but another thing I do is I'll just ignore them, to be honest.

I'll ignore them. And then when I have the energy to to interact with them again. I'll explain. Hey, I, you know, was going through a time there where I just needed a lot of alone time, but, you know, I'm back.

I'm ready to hang out if you're free and if you're down or whatever.

And people are generally pretty understanding, you know, if you say, listen, I needed my alone time and I'm here like now I want to be here and nurture this friendship, but I just didn't have it in me before. Sorry about it. I can. Most people are very open minded. They don't really care that much. And they're just happy that you're talking to them now. And that's great. But if they don't understand and they're like, well, it's obviously personal that you don't want to hang out with me, like, what the fuck you be like?

No, it's not personal. I just don't maybe have as large of a social battery as you and I need a lot more time to recharge and I don't have the energy to be a good friend right now. Everybody, sorry. And if they don't understand that, then they're just not empathetic enough, you know? Anyway, that's all I got, y'all. That's all I got for today, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode.

If he did, let me know. You can tweet me at a podcast or leave a little review on Apple podcast.

Whatever floats your boat this episode, I feel like I was fucking like on one, so I'm sorry, I just like was really like my brain was just moving like it was just on one.

It was just on one.

And sometimes when that happens, I can't stop it. So here we are. But I loved hanging out with you. I really appreciate you.

And I appreciate you coming back every week if you do. You can follow us on Twitter at AG podcast if you want to participate in the episodes. Let me know what you want me to talk about next. And the moral of the story is going to trip by yourself, I think it's really, really good. Have an amazing week. Love you all. By.