Welcome back. That's our happy hour, listeners. We had back up an interesting episode last night, dare I say it? I'll give it interesting because I personally feel cheated.
I don't know about you feel cheated because after the episode was a regular episode and half the episode was mental. If I want to watch two hours of anything, it's Mantello. And we didn't get that. It did not. It's like on par with everything else this season and this year, it was cut short, it was choppy. I mean, I do like the fact, though. One thing I did like about mental is that there was less men, but it was like the really standout men that we've seen from the season.
It felt very, very much like a Real Housewives reunion. And of course, we love a Real Housewives. So I appreciated that fact. But yeah, I wanted to get into it a lot more.
And they're just when I say choppy, I felt like we would get into a conversation or the drama and then it would pivot to something else and then pivot. And it was kind of all over the place. You know, I think we should just get into it. We are, of course, going to have one of our favorites from this season who we did see have an amazing presence and mental and that is Riley. So we're going to have him on later today and we'll get the tea from him and we'll pick his brain on all things from the season, from the switcheroo for mental health.
But let's just get into it from the beginning, because like you said, it was only half of a regular episode when Chris Harrison walked in.
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And then he gets a one on one. There wasn't one person sitting in that room of men that thought Blake was coming back. It was on their faces. If you forgot, go over wine and watch the first five minutes. Everyone was looking like this man.
They didn't pack his bags. Probably before that. They knew he was set up to go home. By this point, like there has been barely any any interaction that we've seen between him and Teisha. And so it was bound to happen.
Yeah, he no attention to it. The shaman knew it.
She said it. But the interesting part about Blake leaving wasn't the fact that he left and static kind of then triggered this reaction in Tatia, where we then see her go in to the house again with all the men and pull Riley aside. And it was like this domino effect of having to send guys home, not at the rose ceremony. So I actually want to touch on this briefly, because, like I said, Riley's been one of my favorites.
He was one of the guys that I met on the date that I hosted who really stuck out to me. He was a complete gentleman.
How did you feel about the way she sent Riley home instead of bringing him to a proper rose ceremony?
Um, I'm torn on this because when you get to this point in the season where you're where you're having to eliminate multiple men because you're separating them from the ones you're going to meet their families, it's really hard because no matter who's left, no matter what the romantic connection is, you definitely feel something for them, even if it's on a friendship level. And it is devastating that you're going to break their hearts because they don't know what you know. And I remember how emotional this week was for me on my season.
Mama said people could not. He was like a Blake, not like Blake is the person, which is Blake is. And you didn't see a lot of them and you didn't understand why he was still there. But I felt so connected to Matt and I broke down like I did at the end when I sent Matt home. So I understood his emotion because it is hard. And I and I know that she was probably forced, like she probably wants to be like, oh, can I wait here?
And it's like, no, you've got to you can't keep dragging it along. Like, you've got to let these men go. I know that's how it is. So I felt bad that she was put in that position, but I don't like what she said to Riley when she was sending him home. And I do want to talk to him about that.
Yeah. Yeah. One thing that kind of stuck out to me.
Well, two things I as much as it sucks being I'm sure being Riley and having to be pulled out in front of all of the men, I, I can appreciate the fact that she wanted to have a longer conversation with him and try to give him a bit more insight than just I'm not going to give you a rose.
I feel like because he was so vulnerable with her in their last conversation, she really wanted to allow him that extra time. Now, did it help? I don't know. I think it quite honestly made him a little bit more confused. But what I appreciated, I keep seeing the word appreciate. But what I liked about that conversation is that he kind of challenged her and so questioned her.
Usually when some in any lead sends a guy home, they kind of just take it for what it is. And they understand, you know, like it's not me. Goodbye. And it's obviously sad for a lot of them. But I think for him, he was so confused and was like, well, why am I still here? Are you like, is this really what you want to do? And the why behind it where we haven't seen most men do that with her, which which I, I found intriguing as a viewer.
I mean, I you could tell Riley was in complete shock when he was going home and I just felt for him and I felt like he was asking for more, but he wasn't getting more from her. And I think that's what if you're going to take the time to pull him to the side and give him more of an explanation, then you don't put it on him as to why he's going home. Just talk about, like, why you are sending him home and how this process is and where he compares to the other men.
I don't know. I just felt really bad for him. And obviously I felt bad for my guy. But we did see more of him, which I'm sure you were happy about for a short little bit.
Can we talk about Zach's C's rude response to Bennet? Try to merely reach out and touch him and just say, you know, good to be back. And a friend, a nice Southern friendly gesture. And Zach was repulsed. He was like he like slipped out of his hand as if, like, I don't I spit on them. I like that. I did like it. And I love the fact that we both came back.
And he not only was like, oh, it looks like you guys have seen a ghost.
Well, obviously, but I felt like you took it upon himself to be the leader was like, let's have a seat, gentlemen, and let it sit down and talk about it.
Loved it. You know, been at that moment more than anyone. Just he loved the attention of it. This is a thing I can love, Bennet, but I can also recognize Bennet for who he is. Everything I say is all in fun. Obviously, I say he's charming and he's condescending. That moment for Bennet was everything to come back and have the men rattled and be in control of the situation.
He did OK, but he totally just has like a cauldron in the back, like stirring it, waiting for the moment for the producers. OK, now you can put your Q now you can walk. He said move over.
I'm stirring the pot. Tonight, that's exactly what he said. You have you have you said this about but have you called him the gift that keeps on giving? I just popped into my head. But he truly is, especially in this episode, as I thought it was.
I thought it was a poetic and smart on the producer side that because of the way she sent home Blake and Riley, it came down to Nola and Bennett not getting the rose.
So it was locked. Yeah, I like that. And I like that.
It came down to those two and it was like, now you guys, this is how it's going to end for you.
You're going to walk out together, you and I. Yeah.
Yeah. So I mean, that's basically the episode that we saw, the proper episode in a nutshell.
Obviously we now get into the mental all which we're going to have Riley on, which he was there. He can give us way more insight to what we saw. I mean. Basically, two main things in mental health, the drama between Noah and Bennett, the feud is still ongoing, but I don't think that there was anything new or shocking that was said between the two. I mean, they basically said we're not going to be friends.
You know, this is what it is, which I don't think comes as a shock to anyone, Yosef. Why the I mean, I get why Yoseph was there, but also why was he there? He just oh man, he just dug his grave deeper and deeper and deeper.
It was just an incomplete reunion. If we're going to dig back into Claire's season and pull out the drama, how are you not going to have the men talk about Dale and everything that went down with them? There was a way I still like to do it without criticizing Claire and Dell's relationship, but just talking about how they felt and what it was like and especially having Jason there, who obviously chose not to be a part of this season because of how he was affected by Claire's decision.
I mean, I would have really wanted to know from the man what it felt like those days in between when the unknown of having taken. I mean, you're welcome, guys. The only insight you've gotten on that is by the guests. We've had this Plotka. That's the only way you've heard it at this point. So to me, it's like we play all season, just like Real Housewives. We wait all season for that damn reunion. And and Andy Cohen has been gracious to give it to us over three weeks.
We get three weeks of it, three hours, and we got one hour maybe of this reunion. And these were men who were there was a lot of drama. So I just felt like they missed so much.
So, yeah, you could have, definitely.
And and to your point, it's I understand, obviously, we need to take you there. Yes. But it was strange that that we didn't have Claire there. I mean, I understand that her and Dale had like their sit down moment with Chris weeks ago. But yeah, if you're going to have Yoseph if you're going to have Jason, if you're going to have still some of these guys who started this journey thinking it was going to be Claire the entire time and to still include her in the bloopers, it just felt it just felt off.
Yeah, definitely. I definitely wanted it to be more I wanted it to be longer. But overall, I mean, she looked stunning. I have to comment on that.
And and it seems like all of the guys still hold her in such a high regard. Obviously, the relationships didn't work out between her and these men that we saw on stage, but they still have so much respect and admiration for her, which I think I would hope they would for any lead. Yeah, but it just goes to show the level of woman that she is and how she treated these men. Why was Chazen not there?
I mean, like, if you're going to bring Ed to talk about his drama with chasten, where's chasten? God knows he wanted that. Fifteen minutes.
You know, Rachael, the more important question was where was baby Carlos? Where was. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Where was this baby Marlow's. Where was it sir. I mean that was your first impression, Rose. We've never seen a first impression Rose fall off like this. I need to I'm not sure. I'm not shocked that it wasn't there. Well, at least you got the first impression, Rose. Like, what happened?
Spencer We didn't see any of you. I mean, something like I just it could have been I mean, I appreciate there wasn't so much like yelling, yelling, yelling, like we normally do.
But we were robbed. We were robbed.
We were robbed. Hopefully they will take note for next season on the Women Tell All.
And we want more of the janise between all of the. Yes, but is action packed as the episode was? Why I should say. I shouldn't even say action packed, but going from all of that, the weird half hour episode to the mental all, there's only one person who really, truly shined on that stage, and that was indeed Riley. So he I'm going to keep saying this. He's one of my favorites, but I'm sure he's been one of your favorites or the season.
A little bit more reserved, a little bit more patient, quiet, but still somebody who holds weight and power when he speaks. And so we have been patiently waiting for the opportunity to have him on. So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, we have Riley. Oh, you guys know I love my Roffey shoes, can't talk about them enough, they're so comfortable and there's so many styles you can wear them with pretty much everything. You know, my staple ones are the black with the white bottoms, the white soles.
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Why Ask.com style and sustainability meet to create your new favorites. Head on over to Rafi's dot com slash today. Well, welcome have you. Is this your first podcast you've ever done? Um, like my first one ever, like for the show? Well, obviously for the show.
But ever knows that my first one ever know I was a journalism major, but it had me doing this in college and stuff sometimes.
How old are you? I am I I'm thirty one, the guy they had you doing podcasts and stuff in college? Well, yeah, I did, man. Years of college. I feel like I did five and a half years. I think it's a good time is a good time to go. I did I was transferred a lot, Abousamra, so I'm trying to figure it out.
Where did you graduate? I graduated from Findlay in Ohio, a fairly small school. OK, OK. Yeah, and where are you now? Are you in New York? Yeah, I'm in New York City. OK, ok. What type you all do you practice. Practice. Medical malpractice. Medical malpractice. Defense. Medical defense.
Well listen, you listen back up. I used to practice and we we set tort reform law, my firm in Texas. Yeah. It wasn't a good look because in Texas you're not going to get anything.
We're on the defense side as well as well. So that's all your law firm lets you come on the show.
Yeah, you know, I mean, they're actually they're actually big fans of the show, I called everyone when I first got in, I called the main partner in the firm. I gave them a call and I'm like, hey, I got this request. You know, I just got casted for the show. I don't know if you heard of it. It's The Bachelorette. And he's like, well. And I was like, oh, well, I think I want to take the opportunity to go.
And he's like, well, first rilly. I got to tell you, this is the most bizarre request I've ever heard. I was like, all right, you know, I can imagine it is just like, OK, you know, let me talk to the other partners and see. And then before I got off the phone with him, he goes, hey, before you go, can you send me a headshot? I want to show it to my daughter.
She loves the show. And I'm like, I'm like, all right. That's probably a good chance that they'll let me go with let me go with it. And every day or every time an episode airs, I get emails and texts from them. So it's cool.
That's awesome. He's going to ask for a signed headshot now. That's what I like. Did you watch the show before coming on or how did you get started in it?
Um, so no, I didn't watch the show. Right. What happened was I was recommended by a friend of mine who saw me a quarter inch flow. She saw me in court and I just happened to be like in plainclothes that day because I didn't have to do anything. I was just like picking up something from the courthouse. And she's like, oh, you should be on the show. I look at her. I'm like, shut up.
Like, what are you doing? You know, like, I'm serious. Like, let me, like, get your picture, like, sign you up and all this type of stuff. So she signed me up for the show and before you know it, I got somebody one of the producers reached out to me and the rest is history. I didn't make that like the first casting, I guess. But after covid, I got to back out.
Talk again was, OK, you're still into it. And I'm like, hell, yeah, I just do it, you know, I still need a wife. I'm still single.
Is a great addition to the show.
Like you, you are one of my favorites and we are so happy to have both of us. You were one of our favorites.
And I mean, if you weren't, I would say if you want to keep it real, I like that.
I like you, Riley. I'm very partial to it, to attorneys. Obviously, I'm also partial black. But the third thing is you were about your business on the show. And I think a lot of the guys were. But I don't know. I felt like you weren't nothing was an act with you. You were very much so yourself. You all you got along with the men in the house, but you were also very serious about pursuing Taisha.
And at first I thought you were like really intense. And then I was like, you know, I know he's focused on his relationship with Tatia, so I'll go ahead. Go ahead. I was just going to say I was going to say, I mean, listen, I'm just I'm about my business. I like to keep it real. And I knew, like, coming in a situation like time is of the essence. So I'm like, all right, let me I've got to kind of get to the point, all of this other nonsense.
If you want to go back and forth and argue about petty bullshit drama, I was like, you know, save it for the next person. Let me just get in there. Let me talk to you. Well, she came in after the whole clear thing, and that's what I tried to do. And I thought I made the most of it. You know, I want to.
So when Rachel says you're one of our favorites, I can attest to that because I obviously you on the date that I hosted in the middle of the day, and I need to tell all of our listeners this right now, because you were one of the guys that stuck out the most to me because you were such a gentleman on that date.
Like, you know, you're filming so much and there's so many people around you and there's so much going on.
But you were one to kind of I think you were the first one to greet both Sidney and myself and you were the one to say goodbye. You're like, nope, we're not leaving. We have to hug these girls goodbye. We have to thank them for the state. So for all the listeners out there, Riley, you are such a gentleman.
And so since that day, you you have been like one of my favorite since the beginning before it started airing. So I do have to say that. And then unfortunately, we saw you go home last night. And I will say this. You gave one of the best exit interviews that I have ever seen on the show. And I've been watching for for a few seasons, watching before my season. And you were so heartfelt. But you and I feel like this entire season when you spoke.
As Rachel said, you weren't outrageous, you weren't dramatic, you weren't in all of the best petty drama, but when you spoke, you spoke with so much conviction and so much power and weight behind it that I feel like the men really listen to you and took what you had to say to heart and as did Teisha. And so going into the sad goodbye that we saw last night because it was emotional.
How has it been? How is it in that moment and how has it been since then, watching it back and kind of having to relive those feelings?
Oh, goodness. OK, so in that moment when in the moment when I was talking to you or in the exit interview both, OK, so I was like a monster.
But also because I will say this, it felt like you said a lot in your exit interview that Taisha did not hear probably until watching it back, right?
Yeah, for sure. I didn't I had trouble, more trouble expressing myself when I was talking to you in the final moment, I guess. I think for me. That was still the very next time I try to put it. So that night when I saw you and she was letting me go, that was the first time I had seen her since I had talked to her about my family and stuff like that. So in my mind, I was still feeling I was still feeling pretty vulnerable.
And like my biggest fear with opening up to people is I've been on the show is that I don't want people to to think any less of me after I tell them. And so when. I spoke to Tyson, she was letting me go directly after that, I was like, oh, my goodness, I guess she now she thinks a whole lot less than me. I must have been too emotional or just something, whatever it is I did.
And I remember that entire day, even before talking to you that night. I woke up that morning like. I hope I did the right thing. What did I just do? I don't know. So, yeah, it was very, very difficult for me to look her in the eye and have to talk to her. And knowing that I was on my way out when I really wanted to stay and I felt like I was making a connection with her and I had such strong feelings, feelings.
And then when I went into the exit interview, I just kind of I just kind of let it all flow out at least as much as I could without breaking down. And I didn't want to have another crying saying like I had just the day before. I mean, not that if something was wrong with shedding tears, but. Just the way I felt I was like, if I was too emotional before, I don't want to keep, you know, just it was just it doesn't feel well.
So I thought it was really great to see your emotion because there are a lot of attention to stereotypes like. So one being an attorney, you know, you don't show weakness. You know, like you don't show emotion. You're very you read things in black and white. And then to being a black man, there's a lot of you don't show emotion, you're supposed to be a certain way. So to me, when I saw you be so vulnerable and so open, I thought it was extremely refreshing and I thought it was great for the audience to see that.
I'm sure it was hard for you. I know it was hard for you. You said it, but I loved that you did it and you gave us that and you showed us another side of you. And I think Tatia, which she does say felt the same way. And then you see her reassure you that the reason that you went home is not because you were open with her, because I thought, oh, my gosh, please don't I don't want I don't want this man to go back into a hole where he feels like he can't express himself because he did it and then this happened.
So I was so glad that she gave you that and kind of like gave you that freedom to say it's OK for you to be yourself. I would say that with love that really we do. That's good to know. There's a lot actually to unpack there, because now that you mention it, just about just the way I grew up. Right. And in my neighborhood and just the community and the black community and we have from Detroit. Detroit.
OK, OK. Yeah. So, yeah, I was born and raised in East Detroit and in that community, I mean, we're just taught not to show that much emotion. And I mean that's just the way I got it. I got it from my father. I got from my uncles. We're just built to be more macho for whatever reason. I don't know why. And so whatever you do show those type of emotions or you do cross you being soft, do something like that.
And for me, it's like I'm learning that the real strength is being able to be vulnerable and express yourself, because otherwise I mean it. First of all, everybody has emotion, right? We try to act like we try to act like we don't. But that's not the case. If you just hold it all and it comes out in this big rage all at the end. And that is really what I grew up on. It was just a bunch of men.
And like my father, he was a very troubled guy and he would hold all of his anger in. And then when a very, very minor thing ticked them off, he's just, you know, losing it. Yeah. And I was just kind of like, you know, that's not. That's not the type of man I want to be. So, you know, in a situation when it was time for me to actually open up and talk to Teisha, I was very hesitant.
It was very, very difficult for me. But I was like home. The next week, I think the way she. I wanted to be able to meet my family, but we have to talk about some things beforehand, I don't think it's fair to her or myself not to bring these type of things up to get married, OK? And that's what I'm about. I want to be open and honest and transparent. And so I just kind of let it flow as best I could and just get through it.
I didn't know. A breakdown like I did, but, you know, it happens, I guess. Mm hmm. Did you and I want to phrase this in the right way. So it seems like when Taisha did say goodbye to you and you left, did you like was this in the back of your mind the entire time until you saw her again on stage at Mental when she's like, you know, it wasn't because you were vulnerable and you shared this story with me of why it ended.
Did you carry that weight and the what ifs and the whys until you saw her again? Or were you once you came back home and were able to be with your friends and family back to your normal life and routine? Did that help you in any way or did you need that closure from her mental all to have her? Basically, we're sure you face to face that if it wasn't because of the story that you shared, why you parted ways, right?
I needed that closure. One hundred percent. I was back in my apartment in New York and it was really on my mind. I mean, that was kind of almost going crazy, but it was really just bugging me. And I'm like, man, I don't seem to be able to get this right. And I know I have these things in my mind that nobody to talk to my potential spouse about these type of things. But am I doing it the wrong way?
I mean, I am still single. Something obviously is not working up in in relationships that are panning out. So what is it that I'm doing wrong? And I'm like, all right, maybe I was thinking, OK, well, maybe if I didn't tell her, maybe she would have done something else of me and then maybe I would have made it to hometowns and whatever. And I'm just like, OK, so when we got to the mental ward, I was learning to things like I wanted to talk to her about.
And I mean, even if she would have told me, like, hey, yeah, that was it, at least it would have been an honest answer. And then I can go back and I could work on myself and just try to get that together. But then what she told me, like, no, that's not the case at all. Like she appreciated me sharing and stuff like that. I was like, OK, that's great. So I did do something right.
We just didn't work out. And that's fine. She can fight because we didn't work out. I know that she went on as she was connecting with a lot of other guys and I saw it back on the show when I was in it. I really wanted to connect more.
But I mean, it's because you didn't have one, right? No, I didn't hear here. I'll say it. I didn't like what she said to you when she sent you home, because I felt like and I understand the confusion because I felt like she flipped it on you and she said to you, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable about me meeting your family. And I thought, oh, God, that's so unfair. Like, let him make that decision.
That's not fair for you to use that as an excuse as to why you're sending him home. I would have preferred is like, hey, I have a deeper connection with other people. We just we just didn't get there. You haven't had a one on one bubble bath. So, like, I feel bad for you in that moment because and I could see your frustration and you even question her like, why did you bring me this far then?
Why did this happen? And you seemed very confused. So why don't I want to know, did you really think that, you know, like you were going far and like prior to watching the show, now that you are watching the show, does it make more sense to you why you went home? Wait, so I'm just trying to understand you, the first question was what you did you feel like? Yeah, prior to watching the show, like when you were in the moment, did you feel you were really going far on the show, even without the one on one even hearing how she ended things?
Did you really in that moment think I have a chance to be the one at the end? And then the second part is, now that you are watching the show, does it all makes sense to you? OK, so that's a this difficult for me to answer, because I don't know at what point, like during the show you're asking me like that, I think I could go far. Was it like when I first saw her? Was it at the end?
At the end when she was when she came into the room and she just simply came home and then she calls you, OK?
In that moment that I think I could still make it to hometowns. Um. Wow. Yes. Because I was still there and I was part of my confusion. I was like, well, I haven't had a one on one. And I've heard that, you know, people who. At this point, if you're going to be at the home visits, you more than likely had a one on one already. But I was like, there has to be a reason why she still has to be here.
So I'm still hopeful and I know the feelings that I have. So I'm like, all right, I'm going to just run with that and try to stay positive and just keep going. So, yeah, in that moment, I guess I still think I had a shot. But now that you're now that you're watching the show, what do you think about the relationship that you have with other people?
Oh, yes. Now here comes the good answer. I mean.
To be honest, I was getting my ass kicked like that when I first saw, I think the first episode when she got there, I think it might have been Brendan. He had his one on one and I saw how romantic it was. And then I'm watching Ben and his one on one and I'm watching Zach. And I am like I am light years behind this man right now. What's going on? So. No, I didn't think I was going to make it to hometowns based on all of that stuff that I saw until like at the very end, I guess we start to come alive a little bit.
So there was a little glimmer of hope, but I think it was just too late. I think she had built a solid foundation, you know, Ivan and all those guys, well, before I had my well, I guess I had opportunity to open up, but well, before I actually did open the. If it's such a weird concept, like I think for any season as a lead or even as a contestant, you think you know what's going on, you think you're living with the guys, you hear and see enough.
But it's really not until you watch the season back and it's airing week by week where you start to pick up on so much that you actually didn't know what was going on.
You see these other relationships unfold like I remember watching my season back in, like, oh, my, there was so much I missed with all of these guys that I had no idea what was going on. So it's just it's a really weird thing because you're living in it like this is your daily life for two months, basically, when you're in this bubble dating somebody and then you see these other relationships where you do then notice that they are either progressing a lot faster or a lot slower than you.
So it's just it's very trippy.
What was it about you that made you fall so hard for her or was the obvious, you know, right now I got you.
I got you. For me, it was. I'm a guy like. I like when a woman can like. Control. Show some initiative and I mean, I don't mind being the the dominant figure or something like that, however you want to put it, I guess. But what I see, like a woman. In charge of her situation, which she was throughout the season, and then she was actually very caring and very thoughtful. She listened to everybody, too.
That's one of the big things that I'm about, exploiting somebody that was extremely nice and kind. And she was about that. She would listen to everything that we said and take the time to get to know every single person. I think that was one of the differences when Taisha actually got on the show. Not that I didn't have adequate time with clear. I mean, I did, but you could just tell it was a completely different feel once she got there.
So, yeah, you guys had a different different reaction.
So the energy was way, way. We love Claire here, too, but it was just so funny, like the reaction was so different.
So let's get into the Bintel. First of all, you had the best seat in the House that was next to Benitz.
Oh my God, I am a Bennett fan. OK, I feel like. Yes, it is, you know. Really. So I it's all we got. Say yes. If you check my social there, there's a eulogy that we did for Bennett for him that I like. Here's the thing. Do I think do I think he's great for Teisha. Absolutely not. Do I think he is great for me as a viewer? A hundred percent.
He's charming and condescending and I love it. I love that he's a character, but. I'll reserve my. I know people are sick of me talking. I have. So I am curious on your thoughts about him, but I want to talk about you and Joseph, because, first of all, I, I, I was mad. They brought him back and then I was mad. They brought him back knowing that he was going to react that way.
You the camera was on you a lot. So you are fidgeting. You are clearly uncomfortable but uncomfortable. Not because he makes you uncomfortable. You look uncomfortable because you're like I want to get at him. And if there weren't cameras here, I would handle this situation a completely different way. I actually said that on my season and they couldn't. They couldn't. And its cameras were there for a completely different way than females in the house. But I felt like that's how you were.
I mean, you showed so much restraint because he was he could completely be an asshole, but everybody else kind of had to be in line. So I just want to know, what were your your emotions and your thoughts that you felt as you were sitting there watching him still be, if not even more, the disrespectful demon that he is now? See, for me with Joseph, he's I can't stand it. You just keep it. But I can't stand a guy like you guys like him.
I think they can move and talk and behave any way that they want to. And nothing's going to happen to him. And I don't really know where they get that mentality from. But what bothered me was the way he behaved towards clear of me. You have a situation where you may not agree with the strip dodgeball date. I think that you didn't even go on. Here you are again speaking on behalf of the group, which is something I do not suppose we don't nobody wants you talking on their behalf.
I'm saying put you on this pedestal. Who made you the representative of this? The best was on the show. But when I see a man and a woman like that, all I see is abuse, that's all. So that's the first thing that comes to my mind. You need to be raising your voice and screaming and hollering and calling somebody names like that. I just know and I know that just from my childhood I grew up, I saw a lot of men treating women poorly and making them feel bad just because it makes them feel good and it makes them feel superior.
And that's exactly what I saw with him. And I'm like, what are you doing? You can talk to her. You can tell her to to disagree, but you don't have to yell and scream at her in her face and tell her that she would be a bad mother. Whatever you tell the classes, I'm like, OK, what's wrong with you? Somebody needs to put you in your place. All you need is one that I might have to cut that out.
But I'm just saying it's all it's take is one. I want to take this one right. I feel like I'm like, oh, let me tell. I mean, I'm not the guy to talk to you and I can't I can't say the entire what I can say to a bunch of guys. Like you said, there are people out there who believe in his message and his rhetoric. And, you know, I got some of those people commenting at me on social media and stuff like that, and that's fine.
And whatever do whatever you got to do. But I just I just don't like people like that.
Do you know that he's post on social media and his own boxers shirtless while he was out there talking about other people? There are pictures of him in his boxers shirtless. Yes, Chadda. I can not not know who showed that. We have we not talked about this in the podcast.
Riley, is you the one that you called lunch? Me not.
I was Spencer. We can talk about him. That was Spencer. If it was Yossef, I wish that you would have just brought out some, like, deli meat during mental illness.
He missed opportunity. Were you cool with in the house?
I called in the house with. So we shifting gears. I feel like it was something else I was going to say about you. Go ahead. I mean, we could talk about. Did you see how tight Joseph Biden was on his shirt?
I said, I don't want to be a part of this situation that, like, this killer's free.
I I'm old. He's violent now. But, you know, actually, I've given him enough enough attention. So I will move on to the next thing in house, um, school. Quite a few guys, to be honest. I was cool with DeMar Demarches, my guy. I was cool with Easy Ivan, Jason Jordan. See, I actually really, really connected with him a lot. His glasses, right. Yeah, his glasses. Yeah.
The guy kind of looks like Schmoll more but not really bro.
Not really. He's got the broken.
I mean, don't don't don't gas, OK? It wasn't Qamar, but I mean, he was he was that the y'all were attractive and had careers.
That is not a normal combination. We see. I mean, people are giving your your group, the group of men, the title of the best cast we've ever seen. I mean, there were fake jobs. You guys look like you're sitting in your office right now.
You're still like, oh oh oh oh oh oh.
Keep going. Sorry, I just go and appreciate that.
You know, I appreciate the love we got and people saying that we were the best group of guys and the classes or whatever you want to call us. And we were professional. Yeah. Like to be a part of something like that. I'm glad that we could represent Bachelor Nation in that way. I'm glad I was a part of this first class of exceptional guys or whatever people are calling this. I don't know. I'm glad I could just be a part of it.
I do take my profession seriously, but then I also like to let me get on and have some fun and let me do my thing. I'm not just all business and I seem like I was on business on the show, but I had a lot of money on the show too. OK, smiled a lot. I cracked a lot of jokes and I made like you did you just get to see that Saturday, which is cool, obviously. I say obviously that there are more conversations, you know, that take place.
It's only a two hour show.
So how good was it to be able to experience The Bachelorette? And obviously was a much different experience this season because you couldn't travel, you were stuck at La Quinta.
But how good was it to be able to get out of work and this normal life and this sad, scary, uncertain pandemic?
We're in team and be able to say, like, I'm going to live at this beautiful resort in Palm Springs for hopefully two months.
We had a bunch of hopefully cool dudes and just be able to take place in something as unique as The Bachelorette.
Listen, I was hype about the experience. As soon as I found out, you know, I could go just to be able to be unplugged for the world. My email is not going off. My phone's not going. I can keep all of that. And I don't want any to let me just unplug for a second. No clients, no bosses. Let it out. Let's just go. And I can focus on the family. I mean, that's that's I love everything about that.
And we it's really good.
So this then leads me to my next question, because, you know, every year we have a girl called Paradise Happiness.
Would you ever grace us with your presence on the beaches of paradise?
Oh, listen, I like the beach, OK?
I like the beach is something I would consider, you know, why not? I'm still single. I still need a wife, still want my two daughters. And I go and get them by myself so we can start talking about that.
I think give be a good chance for you to show the other side because it's it's not as heavy and as intense. It's more and like Becca and I, we've never been to paradise in that way. But it's like for my friends who've gone and then have been successful in their own relationships, they're after they talk about the ease that there is paradise. Of course, there's always the drama, but you seem to do so well in avoiding drama. With everything that was going on from Clara's season incitation season, how is it that you were able to stay out of all the drama?
Um, because I knew what I wanted, to be honest. I of that if they listen, I'm just I'm only here to find a wife. I mean, all of this other nonsense that you want to go back and forth with, that's fine. I'd only like to speak if I only need to speak if I have something of value to say. Otherwise I can shut the hell up because what's the point of me talking to you? Oh, I don't want to care for you.
I don't care about that. But when she comes into the room, OK, now it's time for me to talk. Now it's time for me to open up or make her laugh or do whatever I got to do, bring her one week anniversary cake or something like that. Go with the rest of the drama, giving people mustache socks and all that on my ass.
It seems like such a simple concept, but somehow every season some sucker sock falls for all of this.
It happens also.
I want to piggyback off of Rachel's question, because obviously we did see you say out of the drama. But when you did insert yourself, you just seemed to carry yourself with such grace and elegance. And you this is more of a selfish question for me, too, because I could take some notes from you, but you just remained so calm and eloquent, even in these very emotionally charged intense heat and situation. So how did you find that balance and how did you know?
OK, like, now it's my time to.
But I don't want to cross a line where I become maybe more of a bandit or I don't even want to you because I don't think that's possible, but I do still stay so calm and have just such this kind, even demeanor through it all, even when you were still having to address the men and some of this drama.
I think that is something that I've just learned throughout the course of my life. I've seen people be in situations and they start arguing. They want to yell for whatever reason, they want to yell and scream, and that's how they think they get their point across. And actually, it's the opposite where you start to yell, people, stop listening to you. I can only hear you screaming. And sometimes it only instills fear in the other person. And they may do what you say only because they're scared, not because they want you in the moment they get away from you, they're going to do the opposite.
And so for me, I was just like, all right, I have to be able to have conversations and arguments with people in a very calm matter. I can be stern, but do it calmly so they understand and they take in the things that you actually say. And that was what I wanted to get across when I was on the show. And sometimes I had to get a little bit more stern than what I would have liked to, but.
Some of those guys I was like, yeah, listen, yeah, I know. So it was appropriate. At one point you're like, you don't speak for me. That's exactly what I would have said it was. It was very appropriate. Appropriate. Riley, why don't you care for Bennett?
All right. So you OK? Let me put it this way, because I don't care for Bennett. I mean, listen, I'm not just it's not that I don't have anything against the man. But yeah, I mean, you saw that America saw you see you can see his. The way he talks down to people, I mean, he can be very condescending now, actually. Bennett, he may have a situation where he actually doesn't know that the way he talks to people is offensive.
He may actually truly believe that is perfectly fine to talk to people that way. And he doesn't realize, like the impact that I can have or other people, even though to him it seems fine. He's just not. There is no I don't there's no empathy there. That's my thing. I'm like, if you don't have empathy, I can't. I can't. I can't deal with you. Like, you just seem like an ass. And ask.
Well, Riley, there was a point in the in the Mendeloff where he says, I would challenge anybody to say that I spoke to them in a condescending way and nobody raised their hand and said, it's a mark. And see, this is why I think I'm going to be an example. And I was like, well, you speak about younger people and I'm one of the younger guys. You can speak to me directly, but you talk about younger people.
So. So I tell you, I didn't raise my hand. Yes. But it didn't come to me with that. You know better. That's what that's what I'm saying. And that's exactly what I'm saying. All right.
So listen, my father my father didn't give a bunch of great advice, but he was right about it.
Seems like people know who you come into a room and you see a bunch of people who can pick on this guy.
I can pick on this guy, not only that guy alone, but this guy like this is what you do. And in those situations, not that I'm trying to just act like I'm big and bad or something like that. No, but I think I carry myself in a way where it was like a brother not. And I was like, yeah, I think that was probably a wise goal. And he just didn't come at me with it. So I didn't raise my hand.
But I did have things to say to them until all the way he behaved himself. And I'm not scared. And I even said on the show, yeah, he's condescending, but he just never came at me. So that's why I didn't really. So very it looks very odd to say it's not one that. Yeah, I'm not one to go out looking for the smoke, but if you want to smoke, listen, we can do this.
So is it safe to say we're never going to see you and Bennett like going to brunch in New York together any time soon?
Yeah, I don't I don't dislike Boenish. I, I think I think actually it would be a good idea if we went and had brunch or something like that to talk because I actually want to find some common ground with people. I think Bennett come from two totally different ends of the spectrum. We're talking about where we come from and how we grew up and our backgrounds and stuff like that. It would be great to be able to discuss with it just cultural things in life, things.
So when we do get in those situations, he'll know that you can tell another grown man that they don't have three of the four or whatever of emotional intelligence or something like that.
And I mean, even though you you might actually believe they need to improve in those areas, nobody acts like this is one of those things.
Like if somebody offers that, like, hey, can you help me? I cool, but nobody asks you for that. And you didn't think about how long it would take and like how everybody how I would have took it. I would have been like a whole. That's not how I work.
So yeah, it just might be a little bit of a different demeanor than what I had to say. I'm sorry. No, it's like it's all about podcasting. So do we. That's it's a more freeing space to just be you. And that's what our listeners want. Like, they want to get to know rilly. They want to see the other side of you. They want you to give us the inside scoop of what was going down in the house and who you were cool with.
And I mean, do you feel like you missed out on not being able to travel? Because we went to both Becca and I did meet you, but both Becca and I were at the Lakita and for six days there was enough for us.
Let's just say that it was it was 20 degrees some nights, but I feel like I missed out on travel. Yeah, not that I didn't. I didn't watch the show before, so I don't really know about all of the traveling and stuff like that, but not everybody's been talking to me about it. I'm like, hell, I missed out. I want to go to, I don't know, Paris or wherever they would have taken us. And just me and Becca.
You don't know us. No. Yeah, you know, so you don't know where former Bachelorette's, you don't know anything about us. We are. We wanted to be on horseback. This is true.
Well, no, I didn't watch the I didn't watch the show. I did. But I mean, I met back out there, so I knew she was right because she said it. And then I didn't know that you were a former bachelorette because it was crazy big news when were like the first black woman bachelorette. I mean, how would I not know about that? I was, like, paying attention to it. So I knew who you are and all that type of stuff.
And actually, I was excited to meet you today because of I mean, because I have friends like you that Rachel have, you know, I don't know what I'm saying.
So I was like, I feel like I'm two degrees of separation from everybody. I'm sure we have mutual friends.
I'm sure we probably do. I don't think they know, you know, but they were like, yo, you beat us up.
So I'm like I said, this is speaking of your friends, how has it been for them? You watch the show back with them, with any friends or family. And how is it, dude, like the Riley that they know? Like how do they feel watching you on the big screen?
Oh, my God. So I do watch it with some friends of mine, but. It's funny because I got a call from one of my close cousins. He was like, it's just insane watching you back, because for one, like I mean, I know like you like to have a good time and all other type of stuff, but I've never seen you interact with a woman before, which they find hilarious. They knew I was a stern guy, but they didn't know because they kind of knew I was caught up in your face a little bit like I could be that way.
But they they were just they knew I was reserved. And so to see me on television like that is completely out of character. There's no way in hell that you go on a television show like this and start to open up and express yourself and really say anything at all, because that's not what you do. So it's it was a pretty big shock to them. But they loved it. They laughed. I mean, when I got the roles, I think from Claire and they just had a look at you.
When were you talking about boys? About you too young for the interview. And I'm like, I mean, I like boys made the whole thing that was just like levitation. But just the way like, I carry myself in that and opened up to her and talked about my family. They were like. It took you I haven't told a lot of people about my name change and stuff like that, and the people that do know they like it took years to tell me that I'm saying it.
So the fact that you were able to overcome whatever you overcame and tell it to take it for what it must mean that you had strong feelings for them and to. We can tell, like. They gave me compliments on how I was growing as a person, and I'm just like, I appreciate that's what I appreciated about the show, it allowed me to see a side of myself that I did not expect to be able to reach, especially in such a short period of time as just a few months.
But I mean, it was I mean, we always joke about this that, like, it really is therapeutic to you because you're always in its and you're talking about your feelings and you're just in a way that you never have before. And it's really is a beautiful thing. And then the show is and you got all these feelings and you're like, who do I talk to? Your friends at home don't understand. You're like, well, like, let's just talk about it.
And so you see a lot of people get into relationships after the show because they're just so open and ready to, like, meet someone and talk about how they feel. I mean, you'll see it you'll start seeing it happen with the men.
And I say it's very it's it's obviously difficult and very uncomfortable at first.
I don't think anyone's used to opening up that quickly to a partner, let alone all of all of. America, if you will, but but I will say this, it will only set you up for success and success, let's say making imports will only set you up for success, for future relationships, wherever that may be. If you find it on your own walking down the street or in paradise, who knows?
But really, we have one more question, but it's been such a pleasure to watch you and to have you on and end to just pick your brain a little bit more, to get a whole new set of really that that America should be listening to. So before you head off, we ask all of our guests says, what was your Rose and Thawne of the season? So be it.
My high point actually will be the fact that I was able to open up and express myself and Tatia was she allowed me to do to develop a strong enough connection with her. And she made me feel comfortable enough to open up and tell her everything. I was definitely the roles. But then also. The great guys you meet there, too, and the fun that you have with them, like I said earlier, is a two hour show, so you don't really get to see the conversations that you get to have with some of the guys.
And I'm actually I didn't say this earlier. You don't ask me to do it. I got to say, as much as you like Bennett know is my God. Oh, my God.
Thank you so much for joining us on the show. It's been so great to get to know.
Now, we know I was on Nosair last week and he was delightful, I will say. And I know he did win Rachel over a little, but he's a good do.
He is. He got caught up in bad situation. You know, we have the mustache, we complain a mustache.
I actually have to ask you this. Let's let's put this question somewhere and OK, so obviously before you came on, like I'm Krippen or we can call it research on your your social stuff when you have a Baltimore accident has even if it's accent.
Has anybody ever told you that the way you say to every Baltimore waiter to to to kind of say it in a sentence, you've got to say Eric Burger has a Baltimore accent.
I keep saying I to go to the store. If I say I'm going to the store now, it's what you can do when you're comfortable talking.
OK, so I'm doing research. So you follow on Instagram one of the girls that's going to be on that James shit.
How do you know Chelsea? How do I know Chelsea, how do I know Chelsea, um, how do I know? Chelsea, New York is a small New York City dator. No, I didn't, Dator. I don't know how many to Google until a fashion model, the runway model. Oh, you're right. Yeah, that iji that can turn red. She likes her eyes. Yeah, we like her. It could have been because when this was.
I have no idea. I'm just trying to figure out how small New York really is, like I have a small plane, but some dating history there.
But no, not at all. Not even a little bit. I don't even it's probably just somebody I follow. I don't even think I know her like I mean, I don't know what you're like. No or no.
I don't know if she'll be on Matt Jameson season, so I don't. Let me pull up a photo. This is Chelsea. Can you see that OK? Yeah, OK, you know, I've seen her on that same on assignment lineup I've gone through like some things up for a second.
I don't know if she's trying to stop.
The fact that you piece that together is crazy to me, because, you know, when I look at who he follows, she's like one of the first people that pops up. So I was like, oh, I was like, she looks familiar.
She looks like we just went through the girls bios of I was like, OK, so why not try to make some try to get something.
That was it. But you still have to give us your thoughts. Oh my God.
It was my honor.
And it can be when you had to give the orgasm sound for a minute in the loudspeaker, whatever.
Actually I like that. I didn't we didn't see that. But I was like I was cool with it. I was different. So I was a whole lot different. I thought it was funny. That was one of the fun things that I was able to do. You wish you were a good team together? Yeah. Yeah, it was. But I mean, it's probably something something with me having to get into this hamstring. So I was definitely not a high point for me.
I didn't want to have to show that type of emotion, get a little steamy like that, would have little real quick. But he wanted to smoke. He needed it. So that's what we were.
Rilly, it has been such a pleasure having you on. Like I said, you were one of our favorites from the very beginning. So it's good to finally have you on. You're in a safe, comfortable space. Obviously, the listeners want to hear from you and your perspective. And I also I'm going to be taking notes on how to be more cool, calm and collected from here on out after speaking with you.
All you got is I appreciate you all having me. It was good to see you again. Rachel was very nice to meet you, too. I'll tell all my people back at home I finally met Rachel.
She says it's cause I'm listen into more love listening women when all this is over with.
We hope to meet you on the other side of it. Seriously, you're great, Rachel.
Just trying to get out to New York and brunch with you, Ben, to be honest.
But I work on the regular because it covid, you know, like I haven't been able to come.
So how are you gonna be if I come to L.A., but there is no beef with me about it. All right. It's going to go down a little bit with me. A bit. We we know. We know.
But thank you so much. We won't let you get back to work. You got a brief emotion, something something to do. Please don't remind me. What a sweetheart he was, you were right, Becca. You said it from the moment you met him. He was one of your favorites. I was I wasn't slow to get there, but I just was like, he didn't stand out because he because the drama was standing out. But as the men started to go away, it was like, man, I really like this Riley.
And I was going to compliment him on choosing the name Riley since he chose his name was like, good choice. Yeah.
OK, so as we had him on the morgue, I'm thinking because and he's talked about this with Tasha on the show, how he wants us to girls, he's going to make a phenomenal father hashtag girl death like he's he's just his demeanor.
Like he I don't know, there's just something about him. And and I wanted to tell him this. I didn't want it to seem like it's not a compliment because it is. But he's just not like TV, you know? And I kind of think it's refreshing that he went on and was like, yeah, I'm just going to give this a shot. I might not be the most outspoken, loud, crazy, dramatic, in-your-face type of man, but he overall, I think he was like the steadiness that I think any Basharat probably could have used on a season.
Yeah, I wish you would have gone farther. I think there I won't name names, but I like him more than some of the men that are left for sure. And I think he could be really good and challenge Taisha and also be like that rock for her. And as she was a calming force for her and yeah, ladies, he's single.
So make sure you do slide up in those days. Yes.
Or maybe we'll see him on the beaches of paradise and make him the bachelor.
I don't want him to see it. If if he's on paradise, please give him a good woman. Let him find a woman first woman on the next with and leave them alone. Like now. I want to protect Riley. Leave Riley alone.
Yeah, it's always great having all these guys on. I will say this, though, Rachel. Is it just me or does the season seem like it's just dragging on and on and never ending? Never ending?
Yes. Becca, I share your sentiments. I mean, like. One of the reasons I love Real Housewives is because it's only an hour I'd be willing to go to change dog and start the petition to make the best one. It was Monday and Tuesdays, one hour each, just like, can we spread it out?
Yeah, that. Speaking of ending, it has come for today, but but only for today, because we have back to back episodes, so we will be back again tomorrow.
OK, guys, we only have three more episodes this season, including one that airs tonight. We also have a brand new episode of our Happy Hour out tomorrow morning. And you will not want to miss our guests.
Exactly. It's a good one. So please tune in. And if you don't know where to find us on social by now, let me help you out on Instagram. You can find us at BATCHELLER. Happy Hour. And then at Bache, happy hour on both Facebook and Twitter. And last but not least, people do not forget to subscribe to our podcast on Apple podcast, Spotify, The Wonder App or wherever you are listening to us right now.