Hello, everybody, welcome back to another episode of Bauscher Happy Hour. It is me, one of your hosts back, who's going to take the mic for a few minutes and chat through a few things, because I'm sure if you have been keeping up with the headlines or are on social media and just part of Boucherie nation as a whole, you know that a lot has gone down within the past week and. We're going to be doing things a little bit differently with this episode, and I need to start first by saying what you're about to listen to the episode that you're about to hear today was recorded prior to a few things.

It's going to probably seem a little bit choppy, a little bit out of context, because since we recorded Rachel Kirkconnell, who is a contestant on Matt's currencies and has released a statement in which she apologized for past racist actions. And it was also recorded prior to Chris Harrison's statement, both with an apology and also with the news that he will be stepping aside from the franchise for after the final rose and potentially beyond. It's a lot to comprehend investigation, at least for me, but I can only imagine for my co-host, Rachel, it's just been even more so, even more of a load, even more of a burden to take on, which is why I am hogging the mic for a few minutes now if you having it done so, I highly recommend checking out Rachel's episode on her other podcast, which is called Higher Learning.

It came out last week and it includes all of Rachel's feelings on her conversation with Chris, as well as her initial reaction on Rachel Kirkconnell statement that she put out there. But we I don't want to keep having her have to relive this. What I can only assume was one of the most extremely difficult conversations she's had to have. So if you need to hit pause on this for a moment, please do. So please go listen to higher learning and listen to what Rachel has to say.

And if you do, I encourage you to just hear how she feels as a black woman without asking her to have to relive everything once again.

Um, you know, we won't be offended if you don't listen to us right now. So, again, please pause this. Go check that out, then come back to us. Um, one thing that I want to personally say on behalf of myself, on behalf of a co-host and a friend to Rachel is just thank you. Thank you for being you, but thank you for being a beacon of fight and hope in the in the face of continuous ignorance and racism that we see in our world and within bachelor nation.

I am no exception to that. I have made many mistakes in my past in conversations that were racially insensitive, racially ignorant, and I am personally trying to learn and grow. And that Rachel Lindsey is so much due to you. And I hope that everyone listening to this podcast who have who have stuck with us since the beginning are able to learn and grow as well, and to be able to see a white woman from Minnesota and a black woman from Texas come together each week and have deep, important and sometimes uncomfortable conversations together.

But to still have so much respect for one another and to form a solid friendship from that, it means the world to me. Rachel, I value your friendship and your loyalty above so much else. And so thank you. And I want you to know that as a co-host, but also as a friend and an ally, that I hear you, I stand beside you. I have your back whenever you want it, even if you don't want it.

And I know I'm not alone in saying that because we saw an incredible show of solidarity with the women from James this season, as well as men from Clear and Tatia seats and standing beside you. And so just know that we are here for you. We will fight. We will be allies. We just have your back. You know, I know I'm not as eloquent as I would like to be. Rachel's always the great one with the words here.

But I needed to say that before we really get into the rest of this episode. So everyone listening, I, I try to lead by example. I hope everyone can take something from that. I'm not perfect. I know I'm not perfect. I will continue to screw up. But if if nothing else, please continue to hold me accountable, just like I will do so the same in my circles. But I just encourage everyone listening to look at Rachel and see how she uses her voice and her platform and her strength to continue to fight for what we know is right.

So thank you for letting me ramble on for a few minutes. It really means the world to me and thank you more importantly to Rachel Rachel. And for everything that she does that you do, Rachel. So thank you.

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Free babble language for life. Rachel might have had some conversations back and forth about certain things that have been brought to light within your nation, I'm sure unless you're living under a rock, you probably have seen some things go down. Different conversations are being had between my my wonderful co-host here and some other folks. But at the time that we're recording this, I personally just did not sit well, not being able to even speak on it a little bit.

And I want to lead with this is in terms of Rachel, which we have talked about, and we rest assured we'll have her on the podcast one day to really sit down, question her, but give her time to speak on the social media history and things that have been brought to our attention. We're hoping at this point a statement will come as of this point. Right now, she has not released a statement, which Rachel and I, we've had multiple conversations about this, especially you, I think has made you feel the silence, the lack of words.

And the statement being said, I just want you to know that Rachel's life is a learning process for everyone. And I've tried to learn as much as I could within this past year, and I still am. But there's still more that needs to be done that I see, and maybe it's not fair of me to ask that or question this, but I want you to know as a podcast host and more importantly, as a friend, I have your back like I stand by you when we do have a statement come out, when we do have to question her, all of that.

But just so so the world and these listeners know in fascination, we're not trying to ignore what's been going on. We will cover it one day, hopefully very soon once we can have her on. And I just wanted to say that I know I'm kind of rambling off topic there, but is there anything that you would like to add in on top of that?

I mean. All I will say is, you guys, I'm fucking tired, I'm exhausted. I know now that's true. I take that back. But what I do want to recognize is, Becca, thank you for saying that. Thank you for you know, we've had our talks and I and I and I love it because I feel like we can be an example of how two people can come from different worlds, can not necessarily agree, hash it out, understand each other a bit better and be better from it.

And hopefully we're an example for other people on how to have these conversations. And I appreciate you always having my back, always supporting me. You guys, she sends me text checks on me when things are going on. And that's what it means to be an ally. It means to be outspoken. It means to not just say things. It means to act on it. It means to not be performative with your posts and reposting, you know, Black Lives Matter thing or retweeting or whatever it may be, it means to actually be actively anti racist.

OK, that's what it means to really be an ally in all of this. And I'll be honest, I don't have any allies. I don't really have many allies of people who are actively. Really trying to fight. Things that are racist, things that maybe where there's implicit racism, things that are racist adjacent, which is this what we're dealing with in the in the current situation in Boston? And so I think that's what I'm tired of. That's what I am frustrated with.

I'm tired of whenever there's an issue and bastardisation, people want to come to me and they want to know what is racial thing, what was racial going to say something? Is she going to pop off? Why are you only turning to me, think about the ask yourself that question, why is it up to Rachel? Is it because I'm black? Is it because I'm outspoken? Maybe you should be holding other people who have positions of power, who have platforms accountable as well.

Maybe Rachel shouldn't be the one who's speaking. Maybe you'll be so much more impactful if other people that you admired use their platforms. Maybe it would be great if you actually called out those people who were so quick to repost things on their social, so quick to say that they were listening and learning, but we haven't heard from them since. Nothing, nothing stands in and most recent, which you have seen go down imagination. How many people have you seen actively say something, actively act on the problematic behavior that they've seen.

Probably doesn't take up two hands, so all that to say, I'm thanking you, Becca, for everything that you do and what you represent. I am exhausted. I am tired. And it just it never stops. I think that's what the thing is. It never freakin stops. And I don't know. I think the fact that it keeps happening and Bachelor Nation shows that it is a problem in this country and not just disfranchise the fact that people keep coming in with problematic behavior, the fact that things aren't necessarily changing a certain way or people can't see things from another viewpoint, that's America.

This is just a reflection of it.

And it's not in your battle to fight at this point like. And I don't know why I'm getting emotional here, but but it's not like when you say people just keep coming to you like you guys. I am I am Rachel's co-host here, like I am her counterpart for this. Please come to me, too, and call me out or hold me accountable, more people have definitely done that in the past, but I want you to know I will always have your back and I'm going to continue to learn and grow.

And I'm not always going to do it right. I'm going to say stupid stuff at some point and probably put my foot in my mouth. But at the end of the day, like. What we're fully seeing transpire right now is, I think in terms of racial, not you racial, but to a young ratio, the part that gets me and I can't even imagine how it's getting new is just the silence. And I hope that we can have her on this podcast and more so, too, because we Rachel and I have different experiences.

I've I've lived from my journey coming out like something very similar to what's going on now, what's transpiring. So I have a completely different outlook on it that I think once we do have her here, it could it could be hopefully a really transformative educational eye opening conversation. So that's what I'm saying. I hope we have her to sit down and question her about it. Like, that's like I hope that all three of us can sit down. And and take something away and actually learn and grow and move forward in a positive way and not just say, like, you know, I was I'm sorry.

Yeah, its actions, people, its actions, how many people have you seen post a black box and then take that black box off their social media? How many people have you seen stop being actively reposting or continuing to grow and learn and then act on that? You've got to act. It's that otherwise it's just performative. And I'll tell you what's going to happen. Rachel will release a statement and we've seen this happen before. And fascination. Hannah Brown takes her time because she's figuring out what it is that she's going to say.

She's taking the time to learn and understand the things that she's saying then can conveniently because of privilege, come back. And she admitted this herself and then give an apology when she's ready and when she feels like it. Forget within that time period that you waited, all the people that you offended along the way, the people who are waiting to hear something from you, you can apologize and and then go back and listen and learn and research and understand the the problematic behavior that you exhibited on social media or in real life.

You don't have to wait to apologize. And I'm like you with the silence at this point.

I don't really care to hear it. It's been six weeks, if not more, just are now speaking out six weeks later, like what could you have possibly what could have possibly stopped you from wanting to clear your name?

What could have possibly stopped you from wanting to affiliate yourself with something that's so disgusting, you know, or defend your your name, your reputation, your character is on trial here and you are losing it. So at this point or people like me who. Yes, Chris Harrison, when you say who is Rachel Lindsey to ask what I can tell you, I am a black woman who is personally offended by the things that Rachel has done or that she is affiliated with.

So I can speak out and I can say exactly how I feel about it and that I do want to hear her apologize for the things that she's done. And six weeks is too much time. And it's not that I'm not giving her grace a word that I have learned to hate because of nation. It's not that I'm not giving her compassion or giving her space, it's that I'm holding her accountable. And I think that's what people have to realize.

You can hold somebody accountable and still have compassion or give them space or give or give them understanding and a willingness to learn. That is what I'm giving her. But it doesn't mean that I'm hating on her, canceling on her just because I'm expecting her to be a better person. That said, I don't know why people confuse the two and going back to. Back to our conversation that we had after George Ford was murdered, that the first podcast episode in June where like I was so ignorant, I was so just surface level white girl living my perfect life and we had that conversation.

Now was a difficult for probably both both of us on different spectrums for different reasons. Yes, but that was probably one of the most transformative conversations I could have ever had in my entire life. And I feel like it helped me grow tremendously. And I never want to stop. That's again. That's not to say I won't mess up here and there and and do or say something wrong. But that was the beauty of it. And I feel like so many people after that podcast episode bashed either one of us for different reasons.

And it's but that's the beauty of it, is like we can sit down, we can have those difficult, uncomfortable, uncomfortable conversations and still take something from the other person and hopefully take that into our lives and want to continue to be better, just a better human, a more accepting, like eye opening to realize our faults and to just want to be better and move on from there.

So that's at this point, that's all I can hope that we would get with Rachel when we do have her on.

So, yeah, you know, we'll we'll see. We'll see what happens back with all of this and how it goes down.

But the point is, we're just it's just sad. It's just it's just sad. And I think the silence makes things a lot more difficult than they should be. Yeah, I know. I'm not saying it's not easy. It's not easy to have these conversations fun, easy to own up to the things that you've done. But it's not going to go away, those days are over where you can just let things pass through and go and ignore them and enough time will go by and no one will talk about it.

No, we live in a society, thank goodness now where people will hold you accountable for what you do. They're not going to forget. Right. So, yeah, exactly. You know, now now some more bullshit. Last night's episode. OK, so the older I get, the more I realize how much I love my bed, I call it my happy place, I call it my cloud, and that's because I realized how important getting a good night's sleep truly is.

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Dot com slash bachelor promo code bachelor. Last night, there was a lot that went down in that episode, all these episodes are so jam packed, especially as of lately, we got a lot of women that are left. Yes, big moments for you. What stood out in this episode? A couple of things. Well, first, I want to say it finally felt more like a real episode where I mean, up until this point, it's been filled with drama.

So now we're starting to see a little bit more. I just felt normal to me minus the other showing up, leaving that type of thing. I'm just going to give you quick highlights. One thing that I just need to call off, call out off of the top of this is thank goodness for the musical talent that was Aloe Blacc and not your standard country singer. I love Aloe Blacc. And so when they had him even in the teaser from last week, when they showed when they started piecing everything together with him singing in the background, I was like, oh, my gosh, this is so artsy.

And like it felt like I was watching a movie, like a teaser to a movie. So, I mean, I would say he is probably like the highlight that I saw go down last night. But what about you?

Absolutely. He was he would get the highlight.

I was I was shocked at first when they were playing his song. I was like, oh, that's just music that they're adding to the to the preview. No, Aloe Blacc is actually there. Absolutely. That I, I don't really have highlights.

We done with this when he was performing and Matt and Rachel were dancing to him and the girls are back just sobbing. Listen to this beautiful song. Not a highlight. Well, actually, no. I guess it's kind of cool. Yes, it was. It made me chuckle because what is unclear at this moment is could the women who did not get chosen, the ones who were sitting on the couch and crying, could they hear Aloe Blacc?

Because he sounded loud, was just my TV screen or what they said, could they fear sick because it was like the soundtrack to their tears. And it was like the juxtaposition between the two was funny.

And I know I know you were trying to be funny when y'all gave that to us. And it was not that I was not thrilled necessarily like that. Rachel was the one chosen for the date because I want to see other women get highlighted in their time. But it was funny to see because it just was like such a pitiful scene. It was like a little comedic relief that maybe we need. Yes. Yes, it was, yeah. OK, do I have a read the room this week.

Since we added that segment last week, who was not able to read the room? That's a good question. I am going to say, Heather, again, not that I don't want to harp on Heather too much, because we've already but since she carried over into this episode, she really thought, I think, that she was going to be able to stay mad at her home. Now, I do love this statement, one of my favorites.

I'm not going to congratulate a fish for swimming, right, not going to not going to give you a pat on the back for doing something that you're supposed to do. I'm not going to give Matt kudos for sending Heather home. He had no choice if he didn't send Heather home, the rest of the women would have turned on him. I really think if the women had been accepting of Heather, he would have kept her.

I do. I really do. I was not. The women were like, no, there would have been an uprising.

Maybe that would have been the read the room then, because I think Heather went in not even thinking the girls would maybe have an issue with it. Yeah, no, Heather didn't read the room. She gets the award once again. Once again. One other thing that stood out to me was on the group date when Bree and Matt, we're talking and she told him that she quit her job for him. Which is I mean, coming onto the show, everyone knows you have to leave your job for potentially two months now, a lot of times jobs will let you come back.

In my case, I was lucky enough to be able to go back into PR when I came back, but I found it interesting because she had been gone for a good chunk of time. And when she finally sat down with Matt and was like, oh, a couple days ago, I had to resign. So basically to make this happen, it better be worth it. I, for a hot second, was watching her story and I was like, oh my gosh, Matt, if you send her I had this moment where I was like, he's going to send her home right now.

And I was like, don't do it.

So I'm glad that he kept her. You better picture this woman sacrificed a whole career. Now, I don't know what I would have done in that situation if I were brave, but I'm going to go ahead and venture to say I would have self limited. I would not have been able at that point. I'm not that much of a risk taker. I think that's what it is. This is no knock towards Matt. I just if it was my dream job and I was doing it and it was also a part of, like family and supporting them, I just don't know if I would be able to take that risk.

And so with Bree, I thought it was very it was nice to see her tell that story. I felt my heart went out to her. I'm glad the have validated her by giving her a rose.

And yeah. You know, like I like Bree. I want to see more of Bree.

There's there's several women we need to see more of.

But it was a sweet moment. I wouldn't have been able to do it. But good for you. You know what? Let's find out who Bree's employer is and let's get Bree hired back, OK? Yes. That's our happy hour, listeners. We have to get this woman a job, whether she's with Matt or not. We need to get this beautiful smart. Like this woman who is sacrificing for love, this woman, how could they not hire her back?

Hopefully she has a job.

Well, she said it was the first question I'm asking.

Are you employed? Do we need to do we need to sort of go fund me if they don't take you back?

What we got this woman her job at start start a petition, you know, imagination. Quick to do that. Abagail man. Talk about a fall from grace.

I know. I know.

I I could come home and let's be honest, he didn't give her any love after that first impression, Rose, at least from what we saw on our screen, probably real life. But from what we saw. Yeah. So, yeah, we we lost Abigale. We then lost Kit self eliminated. I felt like this episode elimination. Bang, bang, bang, chop, chop, chop. There was nothing though with Kit. There was nothing.

It was like she was very up front which when we were reading her bio we said that she's twenty one, she's got all these things. This is a woman who is not ready for marriage and kids. Then she gets on there and says. The long term investment, this is a woman who's not ready for marriage, kids, so. And I feel like that was kind of like me neither. Me neither.

But she eliminates there seem to be no emotion really from her. No emotion from him. It was weird. I've never seen a self elimination like that. Usually at this point in the journey, people are sad.

And maybe that's why she decided to let it go. Yeah, I think she knew at that point, like especially for hometowns. And she talked about how important like her mom and the career was to her, that I'm not surprised that she chose to to leave at that moment. I kept wondering, you remember the very first teaser we saw at his premiere where it shows him just like sobbing outside and Chris Harrison coming up and be like, what's going on?

Yeah, I wonder. I thought that was going to happen last night. I don't know why. Maybe it was like the outfit he was wearing. I felt like it was very similar. So I'm like, when is this moment going to happen? I knew it wasn't going to I don't think any of these women are bringing him. I said this earlier. I don't think any of these women are bringing him down to his knees like that.

He does not I do not feel the love. OK, you know what song is not playing in the background. Can you feel the love tonight? Elton John is not making an appearance. Neither are Simba and Ngala. I still nothing between Matt and these women. He likes them. He seems cool with them. He seems attracted to them. But there's like this girl, the passion mark.

I've never seen anything like it before. It's like the complete opposite of Peter, where he seemed to fall in love with everyone. Matt just seems to be big kickin it. They're like being in the gang, like so vastly different in the way that they handle their relationships. It's like it's not intimate. I mean, they have the most he had the most intimate date with with Serena last night. And there was nothing. Nothing. He's like like you.

You know what I like, Matt, is friends. Matt is the homie. I'm telling you all. He is friends owning all of these women. There is no spark, no connection. I don't get it. Either that or he's just awkward. Maybe with dating women. He's attractive, but there's no charm. He's handsome, but there is no he's not like a smooth operator or something is afoot. Something is missing. I don't know what it is.

But you know who we can ask our guest, our guest, who is coming up before we bring her on, I do want to acknowledge that we have made it to hometowns.

Hometowns are always a big week. I cannot wait to see what we have in store with that. We saw Piper go home one to acknowledge that because we just had her on the podcast as well. I really thought Piper was going to get a hometown. I did, too, specially after that one on one with Serena.

Oh, yeah. I would have I would have said for sure, Piper is going to hometown, starting to see what we're going to see.

So Serena P would have would have gone home, especially after, like, how uncomfortable she was. Absolutely. But again, things we don't see. But again, men's decisions don't always make sense to us. They don't. They absolutely don't. But we had Piper on the podcast last week. We like her. She seems like a catch. So if any men listen to this podcast, maybe maybe could slide in her DMS. So maybe we'll see her on paradise.

Who knows?

All right.

Or maybe we'll ask our next guest, because right now it is that time we haven't even told y'all yet that we have a guest or who it is. But the guest that we have this week, we saw her get a one on one, which is why we didn't cover it.

In our recap, she may not have drifted into Matt's heart, but she is here to chat about everything that went down and we're excited to chat with her as well.

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Dot dot com slash spetzler code batuque. Take advantage of his limited time offer and save seventy five dollars on your starter kit candidacy. Dot dot com slash bachelor code bachelor. Well, welcome, Justin, we're so happy to have you here, and I don't know if you listen to our podcast before, but each week, Rachel and I always say this because we don't get to see a ton of women, like, really for who you are. And I would say within the last episode that we were finally getting to see you.

But thank goodness we have you to sit down with us to give us a little bit more behind the scenes and the T and just your experience overall. So just to start, how have you been?

I think good honestly, this experience has definitely been a whirlwind. I don't think any of us have experienced anything like this before. But for the most part, I mean, I'm pretty happy. I am glad that it's like. Done just because, OK, I can move on to the next chapter kind of thing, but overall it's been great. I feel like you're one of the first people that we've had on our podcast that actually now has been sent home.

So we know your full story from start to finish. So always that's true. Yeah, because I think that the past couple of guests, they've still they haven't been able to fully divulge everything that they went through because they were still on the season. So you're the first one that has experienced beginning to end your so-called journey. So like watching it all back, how is it been taking that all in? It's been a lot because it's one thing to experience it, to experience it, and then to watch it back, you'll learn just how much they leave out.

And it's crazy to see it kind of play out. And then you see what had more focus, like, I'm not going to lie. I think the drama definitely took precedence this season rather than the love stories or even the women's stories as well. A lot of my conversations that I had with Matt were really heartfelt, and it would have been nice to have seen it be played out. But for the most part, I mean, I I'm just taking it as it comes in.

Every episode so far has been like drama, drama, drama. And I'm ready for the love stories. Yeah.

You know, it's interesting because we had Abigail on the podcast and she was we were throwing out superlatives and leverage. She was naming them. She was giving out the awards of who was who you were. And I can't remember the exact name, but it was like basically the one who's going to stand, speak up, speak their mind, make a top off. Why do you think that she gave you that award? I don't know.

Perhaps I did speak up and I know that the two on one is definitely if anything, it's the most screen time I've had. And it is like one of the bigger situations in the season that happened as well. I don't know. I think that whole situation for me was kind of that opportunity for me to go ahead and step forward in terms of because Katie, of course, was speaking out about it as well. And for me, it did seem like, OK, I'm going to have to go through with this, because when it was first brought up, brought up when Matt had addressed the situation at the Rose ceremony, he specifically use terms like O.J. be us versus them kind of mentality.

And so when he and I sat down to talk, I was hoping we would talk about drama, because if I remember, he had already walked Anna out. So I was hoping we wouldn't have to talk about anything. But he did ask me how are things at the house? And I was honest. I mean, I said I went back to the Trump that he brought up. I said, well, yeah, words like is being used just like versity versus JP is being used as well.

But that's something that MJ dubbed so that I could at least separate that. It's not that we were all using those terms as people. So I, I feel like the two on one just never even had to happen in the first place, honestly, because when Matt brought it up to MJ, that was the perfect opportunity to say, well, I did say a comment that it meant as a joke. And I apologize to ladies insistence that we move forward.

That could have been the end of it, but instead it just turned into this whole us versus them kind of thing.

And I was like, I want to ask you about that moment, because that two on one was that was really the first time we saw you saw you speak up against it. And I've said this too many times, that two on one was so random to me. And you asked me a week or two earlier, there's no way in hell I would have said, oh, just Saidnaya and MJ are going to be on this one one. Like, it was just it came out of left field, it felt like.

And so. Giving that date card because it was right before the ceremony, so when you heard your name on that, did you have any idea that you were going to be chosen for that? Or was it like, buckle up? Here we go. So initially I thought, OK, well, actually what I did say, in fact, was this could have been avoided. I said out loud, I said this could have been avoided. But then, of course, get to go get ready for the rose ceremony.

And that's where we really kind of had our back and forth. But I remember just thinking what I'm going to stand my ground. I know what I said is fact. We've all seen it. And I'm not the only one he has seen and heard it either. So I don't have anything to worry about. And I just wanted to make sure that when I spoke with Matt, it would just be clear and open. And it's not to say either that that was the only issue with MJ either, like it was the fact that she just wouldn't take accountability for her actions.

And the problem, too, is that many of us. Played a role in some way, big or small. And we at least own up to that fact and we did apologize. We make amends, whatever, and she just refused to take accountability. And I think that was the bigger issue for me. I was not pressed over just a city comment. It was really the fact that I learned later when Matt told me that she didn't know what was going on at the house, I was like, OK, so she's pulling a veil over his face, unfortunately, and trying to remove herself from a situation that she was clearly part of.

So, yeah, it's it's crazy because you can tell that there are great women in the house. It's like there's an equal amount of great women versus the dramatic ones. And we've seen Matt come in and clean house. But as Becca and I prepped for the podcast, we're like, we really don't know what to ask our guest unless it's related to drama, which is such a shame because that's all we've seen. So please tell us a little bit about who Cynthia is and how she got to the show and then what maybe people didn't get to see about you on the show.

Yeah. So one detail. Everyone knows social media marketing managers that work in digital marketing. And I basically just help businesses kind of promote their message, whether it's for an organization or product line. I just kind of help them master or something that works for them in terms of projecting whatever message or product that might be. And I live in Texas. I love it here. I'm considering relocating that. We'll see about that. Where in Texas are you?

San Antonio. OK, I'm from Dallas. OK, so I. And Texas girls. Yes, but yeah. I mean, there were a lot of conversations that I had had with Matt that were really heartfelt. I know the first one was just me emphasizing how important it is for me to find a partner that shares the same values as I do. And one thing that I mentioned to him was I'm looking for someone who can be my rock.

And I remember in the situation that I was in feeling like, OK, well, I want a partner that I have open communication with who can trust me, which is why it was important to me. And it did mean a lot to me that Matt gave me that validation that he did, in fact, believe me. But aside from that, I mean, there's a lot that I talked about. I mean, Matt was really great about opening up to me about his family as well.

I opened up to him about my struggles with depression. Even so, it's like there are there were a lot of conversations that that didn't. See, this is why we love having you, because these are the things that I think want me and most of our listeners would want to hear the really deep foundational conversations that make up any sort of relationship.

Yeah, and foundational is a great word because for me, my example is my parents. I grew up as a military child with dual military parents, so they were both in the army and that was a tough upbringing. But I learned to appreciate it later on because I did have a moment where I like I just presented moving so much ahead, but I learned to appreciate it. And it was even a period in my life where it was just my brother and I.

My dad was deployed for 15 months. My mom was a drill sergeant, so we barely saw her. And it would just be me in high school having to drive my brother to his school, come to my school, and it was like a balancing act and I had to grow up really fast.

What made you originally want to come on the show or how did you get involved with it in the first place? So I remember I had applied some time in January and I was literally in pajamas with coffee, just like whatever. I'll do it because it's a show that my mom and I would watch, especially at that time, things were kind of kind of slowing down a bit. So it was getting around that time where you should stay home and all that.

So we got hooked on to Peter season, but that's the only season that I've seen. Wow, that's a start.

That's that's what you have to go by. Yeah, I know. And that which is why I would refer to clips on YouTube or something of other seasons. But the only thing that I see wasn't always that way. So what's your measure of a bachelor now? Don't get me wrong, I like Peter, but we're talking about how he was as a bachelor. Your measure, your standard of bachelors, plural was just Peter. Peter. So, I mean, but let me ask you this then.

How do you think Matt did as a bachelor uke? A lot was thrown at him. A lot was thrown at ya. And I don't think we talk about that enough. Yes. It's unfair that, Matt, these women keep popping up on Matt, but it's also unfair to you guys because that's not normally the format of the show. Now, how do you think Matt handled it and did he make. You feel seen and heard, despite all the additions and the twists and turns, twists and turns that popped up on this season going into it, considering I was new to it and I knew that he was new to it.

I didn't want to hold him to too high the standard. I did want to give him the grace to make his mistakes and try to get by as best as he could. But he totally exceeded my expectations. I think he did wonderful and he is really receptive. He definitely is a communication kind of person because once things were brought to his attention, I mean, he targeted every situation and he really handle it. And he didn't he doesn't feel it was something that a lot of the girls and I relate it on, because although we had this dynamic where we wouldn't share what we talked about, like intimate details just so that we could have that.

So maintain that friendship without it getting too weird because obviously we're dating the same guy. We would express how Matt was so great at communication and he would always make you feel really good after you had a conversation with him. And one night I even expressed that there's that term where people talk about, oh, this person lights up a room. I personally haven't met someone that I could apply that to. And I felt that way about that. I thought every time you come in the room, it was like a breath of fresh air and we weren't jittery or nervous.

So he was really good about making sure that we were all somewhat levelheaded.

Interesting. OK, so prior to you having known we have this conversation where at this point, obviously we're ripe for hometowns, it's hard as a viewer to tell.

Who he's super into, like there's we don't see and we can chalk it up to maybe the drama that took hold of everything, so we don't see a lot of the conversations between him and any of the women. And so it's hard for us to really nail down who he's into. And I think going into this episode, there was like eight or nine or maybe 10 women left. And I was like. It's a free for all we don't know like this for golden tickets, and it could be a random and so but it's interesting because.

There was three eliminations prior to the rose ceremony, so it makes it seem like he knows who's who he's into, who he's keeping around. So did you up until that point know who he had the strongest connections with? Could you see it in the house? Was a very apparent or was it more like he's he's into all of us and no one was really sure.

I think in the beginning you could, because I don't know what it is. It's like when people behave differently with each other. I think it is easier to tell at the beginning. But as you go further and further, you're thinking, well, I'm not here for a reason. So he obviously sees something in each of us, which is why I think it was so important for me personally. Like I wanted to have that one. I wanted to know for a fact, like, is this it or not?

So I think it actually got harder to tell towards the end because even then we were all struggling and we all talked about it to really we don't know where my head is at. So it was really hard to tell. Mm hmm. Yeah.

So when you got the one on one, obviously you were super excited about that because they always are exciting to get.

But what how did you feel on it? I mean, I was an Beko too, because we talked a little bit about this, a little taken aback that you said that you were falling in love with them because we I hadn't we didn't see it. Did you feel it or and I'll just be blunt.

Did you really feel that? Were you caught up in the moment or was it like a last ditch effort? Because it's hometowns and it's like I got to let him know that I'm filling him this way.

So for me, it was more about leaving it all out on the table. I did not want to walk away from there regretting not telling him something, especially that unfortunately, you guys didn't get to see a lot of our communication because that's how you see how does that come about? Like what made her fall for him? It was how he talked to me. It was how he validated me, how he treated me and all the things that we would connect on.

That's what initially made me fall for him. And it wasn't so much that I was like, yeah, I'm in love. This is the end game. But I was falling for him for sure. But definitely I'm not going to lie. I felt it in my gut that we always going, yeah, I always do women. We are witches and we feel it. And you have to pay attention to that feeling inside. Yep. Let me ask you this.

Just how do you feel about the screen time that women of color got on the show for asking? Thank you for asking, because that's something that I've come after every episode they would go by. I'm like, please, I'm barely seeing so and so or so and so. And I remember Chelsea. I'm glad Chelsea was able to have her story. But I know that Maggie had an incredible story to share as well. No one was able to see that.

And it is really upsetting that also a lot of me included, where we seem to only have been time because we're tied to some kind of drama and it's incredibly frustrating. So I'm happy you brought that up because I definitely want to make my sentiments known. You can't tote around the fact that you have the most diverse cast, but then not show them not live to.

It's like one thing if you're giving I get Victoria was the drama. But now we're in the later seasons and I have yet to see Michelle really talk in. And I am I'm constantly watching Rachael. So it's I was just very curious, you being a part of it, you were in it, you know, how much you were talking in interviews or how much time that you spent with Matt. It's just it's it's disappointing. It's disappointing and it's honestly frustrating.

And I cannot tell you how many hours of interview I have, how many hours I spent talking to Matt. And I didn't get to see any of that. And it's really not fair because each one of these women, we put our lives on hold. Some of us even quit our jobs. We sacrificed a lot to go there because we had this faith in the system The Bachelor has created for us to meet this incredible guy. But we can't even see our stories unfold on a screen.

Come on. It doesn't make sense. Let me ask both of you this, because, I mean, I know what I would say, but do you feel like ABC or will the freshest as a whole for the show, like they're they just checked the boxes, you know, like it wasn't really until this year when the petition started to have a more diverse cast. And I think for the crew, too, overall to create the show. Do you feel like they just at that point we're like, let's check the box bachelor?

Yeah, it was almost like they're trying to it's like, OK, well, if we give them that, like, we can always say, oh, what? We did have a diverse house. We did have a black bachelor. But it's but when you watch the season, you're not seeing that. You're not seeing it reflect and.

One thing that I loved about Tatia season was that there were serious conversations being had and they were impactful, all we're getting right now is drama, drama, drama, I mean, over really vapid subjects.

Honestly, let's be realistic. Absolutely. I don't get it like there are so many amazing women. And that's what frustrates me is I was able to know these women in ways that the audience never will and to know their stories and to see that they didn't even get the opportunity to share that is beyond frustrating. I guess to piggyback on some of the things that you were saying, just because you were in there in the moment, it's I find it very interesting that at this point we know the four women that are going to hometowns and three out of the four are of color and.

Honestly, I'm like, how are these two women that are here because we haven't seen them, we haven't seen their relationships develop and they're only one of them we've seen who seems to we've seen more of her than we have of the three of them combined. Personally, Michelle's the person who started out as a front runner who I was like, wow, they have a big connection. But that's how it's. Whereas Michelle, unless she's on a group with on the couch with the women, are you shocked because you're there?

Did you see these with the four that are left, particularly the three of color? Did you see Mat's relationships with them progress? Because maybe there's something we're missing here?

Well, that's the thing, too, is I'm. I wish that they would have shown a more cohesive story with these women who are now considered the top four, three of them being women of color, because then it would have made sense and the audience would have said, of course, of course, she's there. So for me, regardless, my roommate, I ride free and she and I would definitely have intimate conversations and we would share about how we're feeling about the process.

And so I could see her feelings grow for him. Of course, Michelle, I ended up after the initial shock of her arrival. I did I was able to sit down and have a conversation with her by the fireplace. And it was so nice to just get to know her. These are two women that I have a lot of love for, and I wish that we could have seen more of them. Yes.

And this is why my request as a viewer is not going to mean anything but in the future. And this is something that vocalize to you, Rachel on the podcast is the drama. I want it for a little bit, but this show is about love. The show is about finding connections and finding a potential lifelong partner. Like we need to start seeing more of the whys and how that's being created on the show. So, as you said, I don't I don't remember the exact words you used, but when you said it, just like this vapid bullshit drama, does it matter?

Yeah, it's it is. And that's the thing, too, is like another point that I do want to emphasize on is, yes, there the drama was there, the toxicity was there, but there was a good equal amount of respect for each other of what we messed up. Let's move forward, really trying to cultivate a much healthier environment. We had our moments where we were literally in stitches because we were laughing so much. You having a great time.

I wish more of that was shown, but I mean. I just there happens to all of us, like we all like we get you filmed for a week and I mean weeks at a time, but one week goes into two hours. So it's impossible for everything. Yes. It's very you're not alone. We all feel that way. We wish that there were more things that were.

Show us what women tell all us for.

How is your relationship right now with most of the women close now that it's done and the dramas in the past? Yeah, I know now that it's done. I mean, I can say the women are closest to us. Of course, she's my roommate, so she's like my day one essentially. And we'll have our little chickens here and there. But next to be Katie, even though our relationship didn't really develop until just before she left. I don't know, maybe a week or so.

And then, of course, Michelle answering a bit as well.

I'm glad to hear about Katie, because I said last week it doesn't look like Katie has any friends in the house. People seem to be giggly when she went home. What happened? Because one. OK, OK. I have to say this because there are some things that are shown and they're kind of exaggerated a bit because. Like for me personally, there was I I got bashed for it because it looked hypocritical on my part. There's a part or it was during a group date where in the after parties we have multiple conversations.

That's not just about one thing. And just know that not everything that is seen is happened cohesively. A lot of it is kind of like thrown together or condensed, I guess, so that you can get an idea of what happened that night.

But yeah, people are dogging me for my I love us comment. And I was like, I didn't mean that in any way. I was legitimately laughing about things that we were talking about, not necessarily the conversation that was shown. And so to go on about Katie, like I, I don't I didn't laugh that she was leaving. It was just like that shock of like, oh my God, this is getting real. And on top of that, she was very confident about her connection with that.

So a lot of us were kind of thinking, well, maybe she will come back home. So to see that she did it was a shock. OK, that's good to know that she was confident in her connection because we didn't see that. I mean, she was always the homey. Katie was always the homey with Matt. I never saw any romantic spark. But I'm glad that she felt that because, again, we don't see everything. So she felt she felt connect because even when she left, she's probably just like stone cold because she was in shock and like Becca and I know how that goes, but I'm happy to hear that she felt they had a connection.

Yeah, no, we didn't like we didn't see it being is there are so many connections, whether as as strong as they were or as weak as they were. You didn't get to see a lot of our conversations with Matt. And I had a lot of laughs. And we really don't deep into family values and things that we struggled with even. And he even opened up to me about something that I didn't expect him to share. I was like, oh, OK.

Well, it's good to know that we have that that comfort within each other where he could share that with me, just like I was able to share things with him. So I definitely would have loved for there to be more emphasis on those conversations that all of us had with him. OK, so last night we obviously see you go home now. You are in the real world. The world knows that you are what I'm assuming, single, ready to mingle.

So two part question.

Number one, and I can't believe you're the first person I've ever asked this because I remember having this conversation with a lot of the women on my season of The Bachelor as we got off the show. And, you know, once once the show is airing and but we all knew what happened. I was like, you guys, how was dating going to be for you? Do you think it's going to be easier in the real world? Is it going to be harder?

Yeah. So for you personally, how do you think that's going to go?

Part one of the question. But then part two, I mean, there's this thing looming in a beautiful sunset somewhere one day that just happens to be called paradise. Do you potentially see yourself frolicking on the beach, meeting on the beach? Many men listen. The dating apps didn't work for me before. I don't think the work for me now because, like, we're not considered like public figures now. I don't know how comfortable I am about putting myself out there.

And besides this experience, I've always loved meeting people organically. So I'm pretty sure I won't be on any dating apps. But Paradice. I don't know, it's up in the air right now, to be honest with you, I think it will really depend on where I am in my life at that point if I get the call. I really think about it, but I don't know. It's definitely not a yes, definitely right now. Think about it.

We'd like to see more of you. And I will tell you this. This is one of the positive things, OK? Maybe we sometimes we talk about the not so great things, but one of the best things I feel from going through this experience is because it's the oji quarantine. When you're stripped from everything, you're in this bubble and all you can deal with is yourself and your feelings and what you want in life. And when you when that bubble burst, you're so vulnerable because you've been having these conversations over and over again, laying in your bed at night, flying, oh.

Oh, gosh. That was like I felt like I was rude.

I was flying on these planes to places you have it was a start.

But when the bubble burst and you're back in the real world, you are so in touch with how you feel that it does make dating easier because you're so open and you know what you want. So it's like you waste my time. Oh, I'm very open. I just I love love and I just do this for myself because I can know it's romanticized. I don't know. There's something special about that gisenyi. This has been so fun having you on.

I have one final question before I have this actual real final question.

I want to know going back, I don't like you talking about the drama, but in the moment when you and MJ were sitting on the couch before Matt came in and you called her Meredith, which we know is her real name, but I don't think any of it is.

You didn't catch that. What made you say that?

Were you just feeling like we're just going to go all in, you know?

It was the complete lack of self-awareness for me, and it was like trying my hardest to keep it together because unfortunately I know that if I had understood and reacted the way she did, people wouldn't necessarily react the way they would towards her as they would me, you know what I mean? So I had to keep it together. And I just knew that that would probably get under her skin a little bit. And just because at that point it was just purely frustration was like, OK, I'm over this.

But when I heard that, I was like, cool, I should pop some popcorn.

And thing is, a lot of us will say things out of frustration in the moments. And it's tough because week after week it's been one after the other. So we have our moments where in a big way or small way, how we express ourselves might offend someone, but it's never directly towards them, per say. It's more like the situation and they're just the physical embodiment of what's happening right now. So it's natural, just kind of I get frustrated and blow it on them.

On them. But yeah, it's definitely something to keep in mind. Well, it's a great Segway then to go into our last question, the big and the small, we always ask of our guests this overall because we've now seen your entire journey on The Bachelor play out. What was your rose and what was your Thawne of the season?

I'll start with my Thawne so you can leave it on a good note, my Thornwood would have to be again playing on wishing that there was more more stories that were shared. I think that this is an incredible cast of women, and I would have loved to have seen more of those stories unfold. And the other part of that, Thawne would have to be, I guess, just kind of I always knew that Bachelor Nation was huge. I always do that.

But it is ironic to see people who supposedly support support the show and they bash you for one thing or the other, but they do it in a way where they're degrading you and calling you names. And it's like, well, you're turning around and doing the same thing that you're judging these women for. So for me, my message would be think about it. Every comment that because the Internet is forever and screenshots everything and my rose would have to be.

Meeting all of these really incredible women, I feel like I always knew that if I didn't get the guy, I'd walk away with some really special friendships and I feel confident in that. And another part of that would have to be I was capable of being really vulnerable with that and opening up with him about things that were important to me. And it almost felt like like a practice round. Even now, I feel more ready to meet someone than I did before, so I feel good about it.

It's a stepping stone ages, and it has been an absolute pleasure having you on. Thank you so much. We can't wait to see everything go down. See you again on our screens during the women tell all. So until then, thank you.

Thank you so much for having me, guys. Have a great night. Gisenyi, it was great. I really enjoyed her. And as you said earlier, it's great when they come on here and we can have longer conversations and really get to understand these women, why they with why they're on the show and why they made it as far as they did.

Yeah, it's just it's so much more personal.

We feel like we saw more of Gisenyi for this one 30, 40 minutes that we had on than we did. And so it's just I feel very this might sound cheesy, but blessed in a way to be able to have these amazing women on for the world to see. Hopefully, like I said, we'll see more of them in paradise and more of their stories unfold and more connections forming between the women and whatever men we see. But yeah, yeah, it was it was really good to have her.

She said something there, I think when she was talking about the Thawne overall, just insightful, I think I would say. Yeah. And what I do appreciate, too, is we've we've been critical in saying we don't see these relationships develop. But what's satisfying is they were there. They they did have these relationships. She felt that they were developing. And we've heard that reiterated on the show before. So I'm glad that, you know, she said that it's made her ready for the next person, which really is a beautiful thing that you can come out with out of this entire franchise.

You guys, once again, thanks so much for hanging out with us.

It's been a great episode. We're excited for next week. Next week, it's dun dun dun hometown's. I have no idea what to expect, it's going to be quite interesting for a lot of reasons. One thing I'm hoping for is that we don't see the same things that were done during Taisha season and this hometown I don't want to see. Remember those basketball hoops that they had, that little kid? It was it was it was a great it was fun.

It was fun in spirit, but it was like, I don't want to see that.

I don't see anybody doing dance moves like Brendan. I don't want to see cardboard taxes. I don't want to see what else did we see that goes bagels. Yeah, it was cute in theory, but guess what I'm seeing. I'm already seeing that with Nemacolin. They have stepped things up. We're seeing them leave the property or maybe the property is so big they're on the property this entire time. It looks like we're finally getting the love stories that we want to see.

So we'll just have to wait and see how it all plays out. But if you guys have any questions, any comments, any guest ideas, you know where to find us at Barstow. Happy hour on Instagram and at Fach. Happy hour on Facebook and Twitter.

And as always, you guys, if you never want to miss listening to us or an episode, please subscribe to our podcast. You can do that on Apple podcast, Spotify, the wonder F or wherever you're listening to us right now. Thanks, guys. Take care.