Walter Isaacson set out to write about a world changing genius in Elon Musk and found a man addicted to chaos and conspiracy.

I'm thinking it's idiotic to buy Twitter because he doesn't have a fingertip feel for social emotional networks.

The book launched a thousand hot takes, so I sat down with Isaacson to try to get past the noise.

Well, I like the fact that people who say I'm not as tough on Musk as I should be are always using anecdotes from my book to show why we should be tough on Musk.

Join me, Evan Ratliff, for on Musk with Walter Isaacson. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Tune in to the new podcast stories from the village of nothing, much like easy listening, but for fiction. If you've overdosed on bad news, we invite you into a world where the glimmers of goodness in everyday life are all around you. I'm Catherine Nikolai, and I'm an architect of cozy come spend some time where everyone is welcome and the default is kindness. Listen, relax, enjoy. Listen to stories from the village of nothing much on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Join us for the can't miss live music event of the holiday season, our iHeartRadio jingle ball special coming to ABC December 21, starring Cher, Olivia, Rodrigo Sza, Niall Horan, Sabrina Carpenter, one Republic Jelly Roll, Big Time Rush, and more. Tune in to the iHeartRadio Jingle ball special on Thursday, December 21 at eight, seven central on ABC and stream next day on Hulu and Disney plus.

Hi, this is Shannon Dougherty, host of the new podcast, let's be clear with Shannon Dougherty. So in this podcast, I'm going to be talking about marriage, divorce, my family, my career. I'm also going to be talking a lot about cancer, the ups and the downs. Everything that I have learned from it. It's going to be a wild ride. So listen to let's be clear with Shannon Dougherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Hello.

Hi.

Hi. How are you?

I'm great. How are you?

I don't know.

Really. I get it. I teach middle school, so I rarely know how I am.

Yeah, well, we're getting back going with the podcast here. I'm assuming you saw my post on Instagram.

Yeah, I did.

I'm trying to slowly walk right into this animal encounter. What happened? Where were you?

What was the animal? I was getting my camping equipment from my old house. And this is a small animal. It's not like a big scary. Well, it's scary, but I picked up a bag, a tote bag, and I placed the tote bag in my car. And just as I placed it in my car, a mouse ran out, and there was evidence that it was living there. Like, I had some suckers in the back and there were papers that were chewed up and everything. I knew that I was living with a mouse. Like, it was driving around with me. But this is where it takes a dark turn.

Oh, my goodness.

So yesterday I have one of those blenders that you make a smoothie. And, like, the smoothie cup, you just take that with you. There's a cap on it. The cap had a little hole. Well, I brought the smoothie cup in to my house, and I was going to rinse it out in the sink, and the dead mouse plopped into my traumatic.

That is unfortunate. I had a similar thing in Joshua Tree.

Really? Yeah.

We had, like, some sort of picture of liquid outside of the place, and a mouse was drowned in it in the morning.

Yeah, I felt bad. Same that the mouse drowned in my. It wasn't my care, but still, it was because of me, because I left my smoothie cup there. I'm also very glad that the mouse no longer lives in my car.

Not to play mouse's advocate, but not only did you had a smoothie, you've also had lollipops. It's almost as if you were creating a mouse habitat intentionally. I thought you were saying mice chew wires in cars, because people do really struggle with that, right?

No, I know. And that was one thing I was worried about with it living in there. Like I said, I teach middle school, and so the lollipops were in there because I needed to take them into the school.

There's no excuse for that. No, I'm just kidding. The crazy thing is, can you imagine a mouse eating a lollipop? That has to be so cute.

I don't think mice are cute.

Was it a dumb dumb. I want to imagine a tiny lollipop.

It was a dumb dumb. You are painting a nice picture. Like, I see what you're saying. I actually have other animal encounters now that I am unpacking this a little bit.

This is what happens. You recover more memories.

Yeah. Well, I actually have a red tailed hawk that lives in my backyard in a cage because I hunt with it. And so I am around mice a lot because I'll feed them mice. Feed her mice. But I don't handle live ones so much.

So you're feeding dead mice. So, did you feed that one dead mouse to your eagle?

No. I actually made some gagging noises and asked my son to dispose of it.

Yeah.

I don't know why that one traumatized me, but I go in my deep breathe and grab a mouse and take it.

I need to back up, though. I need to back up. What do you hunt and with what? You hunt? What, with hawks?

Have you ever heard of falconry?

Yes.

Okay. So I do that.

That's cool.

And I hunt for rabbits and squirrels with her, and then I just feed them to her. I don't eat any of that stuff.

So what's in it for you?

I'm sorry?

What's in that for you?

Having a wild animal fly up to you and gently land on your hand is amazing.

But with, like, a dead rabbit, it.

Doesn'T bring it back to you. You have to go and find it.

Do you have to trek through the mountains where it left it? Do other animals ever steal it?

No, they don't. Everybody's scared of hawks, so they tend to stay away from it. Happens in a matter of minutes.

Wait, is a hawk the same as a falcon? Now I'm confused.

No, they're not the same. I mean, they're both birds of prey for sure, but I don't have all the scientific knowledge to sound.

I know that some hotels use falcons to get rid of seagulls and things like that.

Yeah, no, that's abatements. Falcons get other birds. I don't want to talk like. I know what I'm. I don't want to say anything.

Okay, bye.

I don't know. I don't know enough.

Well, listen, thank you for your call. Good luck killing animals with other animals. Sounds like a peaceful life, and hopefully we'll speak again in the future.

Okay, thank.

You.

I'm good. How are you? I can't believe I got through.

I can't either. Now your name is popping up as C. Vivian. Very. Yeah, it's giving me, like, a lady in a velvet dress, and it's, like, very dramatic.

Yeah, you've got it, all right. Exactly.

Okay, cool. So you're calling presumably, because you've been in some type of wild animal encounter?

Yes.

What happened? Where was it? How did you feel? What was the insane conclusion? Hello?

I feel like, I don't know if this really counts as totally going awry, but I did end up accidentally snorkeling with a great white shark a few years ago.

Okay, so you were snorkeling. At what point did you realize that there had been great white sharks?

Well, I was snorkeling around and I had a group, but I had kind of swam away from them. And there were little reef sharks everywhere. There were kind of smaller sharks. They kind of have a long, slender body. And I was looking out kind of into the distance. It's tough to judge distance when you're underwater like that. I don't know if you've been snorkeling, but it was new for me.

Yeah, I did a little bit.

This huge shape came in front of me, just kind of passed right in front of me. And I thought for a minute I was really confused about the distance and I couldn't quite understand what I was seeing because it was so dark. But it looked like it was definitely a shark. And it looked so different from the other sharks I'd seen because it had this huge barrel chest.

Barrel chest?

Yeah, it has like, a really big chest. Like, the other sharks are much more slender looking.

Okay.

And so as it passed me by, I realized it was actually really close to me and that it was, like about 20ft long.

Oh, my God.

And we were, like, near the surface, but its fin wasn't above the surface. And I kept thinking, my brain was like, this isn't happening. It's not a great white shark because it's not white. But the thing is, when you're on level with them, they're just dark gray. You only see the white if you're underneath them. So it was like this big, huge, dark gray shark that passed in front of me. And then as it turned away, it swam in the opposite direction from me and it moved its fin really slowly, but it disappeared really fast, which I learned afterwards is like, the way that it works underwater. Like, the larger the object, the slower the fins have to move.

Weird. Creepy. All of it creepy. I mean, I've been watching a lot of docuseries about horrible things happening to people, and one of them is called I was prey. I mean, I'm going to say I wish I was hosting I was prey, because there's a lot I would like to ask people that is not happening. And there's very slow reaction videos and things. I mean, just reenactments and stuff. So while I cannot fully endorse the show, I was prey. I think it was on there that someone was talking about being attacked by a great white. And it's like, they describe it as just being hit by a wall out of nowhere, which it also syncs up with what you're saying. Sounds like you're lucky to be alive.

I really feel like I am. It actually took me a really long time to accept what had happened because I just couldn't. I don't know. I'm glad that I didn't really realize it right away because if I had realized it in the moment, I would have started thrashing around. So it might have caught the shark's attention. But, yeah, I do feel really lucky that I didn't have to actually face it head on or get chomped.

Yeah, that's terrifying. Well, listen, we're glad you're with us. Okay? Do you still snorkel?

I don't have the opportunity to where I live, so, no, I haven't since then.

But would you?

I absolutely would. Yes.

Wow. So you have not learned your lesson. Okay. Just writing notes for your case file. Maybe you can call back with an actual attack next time.

All right. Okay.

I don't know. All right. Well, what a journey. Well, thank you. Thank you, Kit, as Always.

Thank you.

And peace be with you. And peace on earth as well.

Thank you so much for bringing back the show.

Oh, my gosh. Thank you for calling. Toodleoo. Don't know where my out of time gotta go button is. Hello, this is Chelsea Peretti. Hi, how are you?

This is Chelsea also.

My name is Chelsea. What?

I know. Crazy, right?

What?

Chelsea, do you want to hear my animal story?

Yeah.

When I was a child, a squirrel ran into our house and it got in my toilet.

The drum roll worked perfectly with that. Oh, my God.

And my brother screamed like a little girl. And he literally ran out of the house and didn't see him for hours. He was very scared.

So what happened to the squirrel? I'm less concerned about your brother.

Fair, and as you should be. My mother's a registered nurse. So she went into her nurse bag, got some blue gloves and stuck her ass in her hands in the toilet. Didn't stick her ass in. She took her hands in the toilet.

That'd be really cool. Guy out.

And it scratched her. Then she had to go get a rabies shot. But long story short, he ran right back out the door. He came in. Never saw that guy again either.

She's a registered nurse, and the way she deals with stuff is by sticking her ass in it. Like, she's like, I have to draw some. Why?

I said ass. I meant ham.

I have to draw some blood. I'm just going to stick my ass on your arm real quick. Registered nurse. This is what we do.

I'm such a fan. This is wild. Are you a Chelsea or a Chelsea to Chelsea?

I'll really take it all at this point. Wait.

I prefer Chelsea because it's just one more.

Did you. Did you say what happened to the squirrel?

He did run out the door. We left the door open and he ran right out.

Were there cute little wet squirrel footprints all over your house?

I mean, guaranteed.

Yeah.

And then my mother's blood just trailed after it.

Do you know that crazy old girl? Your mom's. What do you call it? Shit streaks? Is that appropriate?

My mom is going to be. Well, it's a good thing she doesn't know what podcasts are. She would be so humiliated. But no, she had to go. So she worked at the hospital, and then she called and said, I got to come get a rabies shot. A squirrel scratched me. You can't get rabies from scratch.

Wait, okay, hold on. Your mom didn't know that?

She's not. Listen, it was the 90s. These were different times. It was just a.

You know. So she went to the ER and they're like, miss, you're a nurse. You're usually doing the intake on this kind of.

I know, right? Imagine they fired her. They're like, you're too dumb.

It feels like you skipped a couple of chapters in mid school.

Shout out to my mom, the greatest nurse of all time.

Nurses are the best. Though. When I agreed I had to get a c section, I felt like the nurses were my lifeline. They were so cool.

Oh, my gosh.

They taught me how to breastfeed.

Hashtag been there.

What? Been there.

Hashtag been there.

Yeah, girl.

And it wasn't an unplanned one, which TMI, not the most fun.

Yeah, mine was, too. Let's just say Pitocin wasn't doing much for me.

Yeah, me, too. And I was Thanksgiving Eve when I was induced, and then my surgeon came in and she goes, okay, listen, if we get you. If we can get my turkey in the oven before seven. Your turkey is not my main concern.

I thought you say that Anita comes in and does the surgery, and she's like, I don't know what to tell you. Your baby is a turkey. Like, we're going to have. How cute would that be? We delivered all.

And now that turkey is just a whole third grader. Just, like, raised it as my own.

Yeah. So, thanksgiving. So that means your child's birthday is around this fraught time in american history. But at this point, what isn't a fraught time?

Well, I do believe the play you wrote is either set during Thanksgiving or there's implications of, like, a large family event.

There's definitely implications of a large family event. That much is for sure.

I guess I'm mixing it up with, like, August, Osage county, which is the Thanksgiving.

A huge inspiration and a touchstone.

Absolutely.

Did you see the movie?

Can I ask you one question? I did see the movie with my family. Upsetting. Upsetting movie. What is John early like as a person?

John Early? I mean, listen, he's funny, he's silly.

Yeah.

You're going to riff, you're going to laugh, you're going to earn. You might eat.

Okay.

John early actually cooked for me and my husband a few times years ago. Yes. He made a caccio pepe with just about five times too much pepper. And it was just really early on.

The Caccio Pepe trend.

Yes, trendsetter. And you know what? It was extremely peppery and it was just funny eating it. No, this is good. This is good. And also he made something with like a poached pear. I don't know why. He was cooking for us on multiple occasions. Now it seems strange, but that was pre child. You had the time to eat a poached pear.

Yeah, I remember the era.

The era was different, but the pears didn't soften, so they were really.

Oh, God.

It was just funny because he loves food. I love food. But for whatever reason, there was a couple mishaps that felt notorious in. Right, well, listen, you know, when John gets a podcast, you can fucking call him. Okay, next.

I get it. Next caller. Chelsea, you're an inspiration. You're a hero. You're the best Chelsea of us all.

You are. Goodbye.

Thank you.

Bye bye.

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When Walter Isaacson set out to write his biography of Elon Musk, he believed he was taking on a world changing figure.

That night, he was deciding whether or not to allow Starlink to be enabled to allow a sneak attack on Crimea.

What he got was a subject who also sowed chaos and conspiracy.

I'm thinking it's idiotic to buy Twitter because he doesn't have a fingertip feel for social emotional networks.

And when I sat down with Isaacson five weeks ago, he told me how he captured it all.

They have Kansas spray paint and they're just putting Big X's on machines, and it's almost like kids playing on the playground just chews them up left, right, and center. And then like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, he doesn't even remember it. Getting to Mars doesn't excuse being a total, but I want the reader to see it in action.

My name is Evan Ratliffe, and this is Elon Musk with Walter Isaacson. Join us in this four part series as Isaacson breaks down how he captured a vivid portrait of a polarizing genius. Listen to on Musk on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Tune in to the new podcast stories from the village of nothing much like easy listening, but for fiction. If you've overdosed on bad news, we invite you into a world where the glimmers of goodness in everyday life are all around you. I'm Katherine Nikolai, and you might know me from the bedtime story podcast. Nothing much happens. I'm an architect of cozy, and I invite you to come spend some time where everyone is welcome and kindness is the default when you tune in. You'll hear stories about bakeries and walks in the woods, a favorite booth at the diner on a blustery autumn day, cats and dogs, unrescued goats and donkeys, old houses, bookshops, beaches where kites lie and pretty stones are found. I have so many stories to tell you, and they are all designed to help you feel good and feel connected to what is good in the world. Listen, relax. Enjoy. Listen to stories from the village of nothing much on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Join us for the can't miss live music event of the holiday season, our iHeartRadio jingle Ball special coming to ABC December 21, starring Cher, Olivia, Rodrigo Zizza, Niall Horan, Sabrina Carpenter, One Republic Jelly Roll, Big Time Rush, and more. Tune in to the iHeartRadio Jingle ball special on Thursday, December 21 at eight, seven central on ABC and stream next day on Hulu and Disney Plus.

I don't see that. Oh, there's got to go.

Looks like we're out of time.

Goodbye.

All right. Hello.

Oh, conference call.

Okay.

Hello?

What do you mean a conference call? Who all is on the call? Who all is on the call. Oh, my goodness. Ladies, we were going to leave a voicemail. Okay, hold on. I'll give you a beep. Well, it's going to be a ding, but leave your voicemail. Go.

Kelsey, the amount of hours that I spent listening to your podcast, days, months, years.

That's crazy. So wait, who are the two of you? Where are you calling from? You guys are falling apart. You're absolutely falling apart. I want you. This is Deb.

I'm Deb.

Yes, Deb. You're all Deb.

I'm Caroline.

Can you hear me okay, Caroline. Deb? Yes.

How are you?

Oh, my goodness.

Goodbye.

Oh, my God.

Remember that. Can you play one of your sounds? Yes, please. Goodbye.

Holy shit.

I have been with you since the beginning.

That's what's honestly keeping me going with you, is I don't want to punish you for the chaos. I want to engage with Deb and Carolyn or whatever and really get to know you ladies on this party line. Now, I'm going to take a goosey goosey guess that you haven't been attacked by an animal, but have each of you been attacked also? Who's the third person? I only know about Deb and Carolyn.

No.

Okay, so have you been attacked by an animal?

Like a male human animal, maybe?

Come on, Deb, Caroline, haven't we all? Haven't.

We're calling from two different states.

Wow. The tech on this call. Yeah, it's incredible. It's crazy.

What is Andy Samberg like?

Oh, my God. I tried. I don't know. I don't know where to go from here. I need these animal stories. I'm building up to a big grand finale here on the podcast, trying to see what people are saying on Instagram. In response to the post, someone goes, a swan attacked me when I was six, and my Royal Marine grandfather punched it in the face. Honestly, don't even think of swans as having faces. I feel like once you have a beak, it doesn't feel like a face anymore. At least that's my personal story. Okay, so grandfather punched a swan. That's got to be a rough moment in your childhood. Let's see who this is. Hello? Hi.

Is that Chelsea?

Yeah.

Hey.

How are you doing?

Good. How are you?

I'm okay. I'm getting there. I saw that you were looking at animal stories.

That's right.

Mine is sort of like a proxy animal story.

Okay. We're taking proxies. We're taking proxies today.

Okay, so I should explain. I used to be a doctor, and when I was working in eR, we'd get lots of different patients coming through.

Oh, yeah. That'd be weird if you didn't.

Yeah, it was high frequency. And unfortunately, one time a child came in. How much detail and gore are you guys into?

I'm pretty good with it. I'm pretty good.

Okay. Yeah. So I was sort of expecting. I just heard on the kind of the tanui that a child has been in an incident with the dog, and they're coming in in a couple of minutes to get ready. So I go, yeah, there's like an 18 month old.

Oh, my gosh. This is horrible.

It's bad. And I get there and he's sitting on the bed in his nappy, and from the side that I enter the room, he's not making any noise, but just, like, chilling with his parents. And I'm a bit confused. And then I go around and I can start to see his face and half of the face is gone.

No. Oh, my God. This is a nightmare. I think I've changed. I think I've changed. Wait, is there any fix for that?

So he had to have lots of reconstructive surgery, and thankfully, he was fine. They gave him painkillers and he was able to regain the ability to talk and eat. But, yeah, I'd never seen that in the flesh. And I didn't realize the power of a dog's jaw could literally just do that.

Was it their dog?

It was, yeah.

Oh, my goodness. Once you have a kid, I do feel like you just got to put the kid first and. Wow, that is terrifying. Horrible.

Yeah. So sorry for bringing.

No, this is the thing I've been realizing with, like, hey, tell me these crazy, horrible stories. It's like, there's a fine line, actually. It's no longer funny once it ruins or greatly affects the rest of someone's life. Exactly. But. God, that's awful. Yeah. Were you able to hold yourself together? Did you start crying? How do doctors not cry all the time?

So when I used to work in intensive care, it was very upsetting. Unfortunately, because a lot of people very sick and a lot of people die, it's not just the fact that you kind of see them deteriorate very rapidly over the course of a couple of days. So you're talking to them and then they're gone within a couple of days. But you also have to speak with their families. And that's the part I struggled with, like, seeing a lot of families and speaking to parents and children and relatives and just telling them the worst news that they've had to do on a regular basis. But, yeah, I guess it's balanced with sometimes you get lucky and you can save someone's life from the extreme. Yeah, it's not easy, but it's possible.

I am just not of the constitution for that kind of thing. At one time, I did a tour with someone, and we went to visit a veteran's hospital, and there was just similarly horrific injuries present on people. And I had to walk out of rooms. I start tearing up. I'm like, this is the worst thing I could possibly do is come cry in someone's room. I feel like it's a special person that can give the support that people need without being shattered by it. Yeah, well, great call. Really funny. Um, listen, should I. Let's see, should I hit my classic.

Looks like we're out of time?

Goodbye.

Thank you for that raucous journey into the ER.

You're welcome, Wolf Blitzer.

We love you.

Always prank wolf. All right, bye. Well, that was fucking dark. God. Okay, well, we have our special call coming up, and I could not be more excited. Hello.

How are you?

I'm good. How are you? I'm great. You're Chris Leonard?

I am.

I'm Chelsea. Nice to meet you. Now, I don't know if you are up to speed on the fact that this podcast has. For many years, I was searching for a bear attack survivor, and I don't know why that is. And I recognize I'm not alone in this fascination, but for us to have you and us being really me, but I'm going to include my new producer, Laura. This is a huge coup to have you on the. You have encountered a bear in the flesh. This was in Tahoe, which, as I'm reading about it, Tahoe seems to have a lot of bear interaction that people are having. Walk me through your story. Do you live in Tahoe? Tell me. Let's hear the whole story.

Absolutely. First of all, have you seen pictures? Because that if you don't. No, I want to send you some pictures because they're insane.

Oh, no, I did see the pictures that were assembled on this little. I'm assuming it was a viral post. Yes. I want to talk about that. First, I want the callers to know your story, and then we should talk about those pictures.

So I don't live in Tahoe. I live in Los Angeles.

Oh, okay.

I write music for movies and tv.

Oh, cool.

And friends of ours who are also in the entertainment business, who are dear friends, they called at middle of August. And do you. We rented this cabin in Tahoe. Do you want to all get tested? Because it was Covid time. And go up and let's hibernate for a week. Yeah, I shouldn't use that word, I.

Guess, but maybe you should.

So let's hibernate for a week and then go to Tahoe and just be in the cabin and play on the lake and do all that kind of stuff. We ended up driving from La to Tahoe, 9 hours up, and I had at the time a twelve year old and a seven year old.

Okay.

So we went up there and met our friends, who are a couple with no kids, but they have two dogs. And then there's another couple that had a three year old.

Yeah.

A lot of kids and dogs.

Yeah. Okay.

And it was right at the beginning of COVID so it was pretty desolate. There was like nobody out there. And they had a lot of fires earlier that week and the week before in Tahoe. So the skies were super hazy. You couldn't see much. So on Sunday we got there and we all moved in. And it's a big, huge a frame cabin with three floors. And the middle floor is the one that went to the you. And that's where the main door to the cabin is, plus some sliding doors in the kitchen. So we basically had a great three or four days and got to Wednesday and the smog started clearing. And my seven year old, my daughter, Vesper, said, let's sleep outside. I heard we're going to be able to see shooting stars now that the clouds have cleared. And I was like, great. Sounds like a fantastic idea. I mean, what do I know? I'm from? So I said, great, let's do that. And we pulled the mattress down and put it right on this deck. And we ended up sleeping outside on Wednesday and had an amazing night, saw some shooting stars.

And that was great. And so Thursday came around. We spent the whole day on the lake as well, tubing and doing all that good stuff. And at night, one of the guys we were with decided he made tacos and s'mores and everything. Huge dinner, lots of sweet treats and all that kind of stuff. And so we're up late and Vasper said, let's sleep outside again. And I said, great, no problem. So basically everybody goes to bed around 11, 11 30. Everything's dark. I'm in bed. We're outside looking at the stars and the front of the house. And so basically at about, I don't know, maybe 1145, Vesper fell asleep and I heard a big boom on the right side of the house. And I said, okay, I'm going to go check it out. So I grabbed.

Now, was your first thought, like, this is an intruder, or was your first thought, this is a bear? Did you have any kind of guess?

My first thought, probably my first thought was like, oh, something fell or something fell out of the tree or maybe. I certainly thought maybe there was something around, but I didn't really go to bear right away. So I went around and I shined my phone and didn't see anything. So I was like, I'm going to go back to bed. So I crawled back into bed. And when I got back into bed, I started hearing a lot of rummaging around in the house. And I just assumed, okay, well, it's Dave who's upstairs. He's making a sandwich. He came down, and then I started hearing tickety tackety on the floor. And I was like, oh, he must have brought the dogs down with, you know, four or five minutes went by, and then I started getting really freaked out. I was like, wait a second. Why didn't he turn the lights on? Why is he being so loud making a sandwich? And why is it taking him so long? So I decided to get up again, and I basically walked around. There's two big sliding doors that look into the dining room and kitchen at his cabin.

So I walked in or walked around, and I shined my light through these two glass doors and the fridge doors were open, the freezer doors were open. There was food everywhere. It was a disaster, complete mass disaster all over the place. And so I was like, oh, my God. And I kept to hear. I still heard the noise. So at this point, I was like, I think I still thought it was probably a raccoon or something.

Yeah.

Scanned over and shined the light. There was a big cabinet, which is where all the crackers and cookies and stuff were. And there was a ginormous bear whose head was in this cabinet, and there were literally cookies flying out past its head. And I was like, oh, my God. So I shoved the phone back in my pajamas, and I was like, ran over, scooped up my seven year old in my right arm, put her on my hip and just said, there's a bear in the house. Don't say anything. We're getting out of here. And then I started to run around towards the right side where you get out towards.

Wait, now, don't they say not to run?

But it didn't see me.

Okay. But they have an incredible sense of smell.

They do have an incredible. Which of course, is why this whole thing happened, and I'll tell you why later. So basically, I went running around, and in the meantime, I'm sitting there going, my other kid and my wife are downstairs, and there's another family with a three year old behind the kitchen where the bear is. I need to find a way to warn them. So I realized the main door to the house, which is on the side, was a big, huge wooden door. I said, that's the safest. And so I went to the front door with my kid on my hip, and I went to go and slam on the door because I was just going to scream bear, like, five times and slam on the door as hard as I could. And then when I looked, and just to the left of the door is a window that's been basically broken out. And the bear was staring straight at me from the inside of the house.

So it was standing in front of the open window with its back to the window?

No, it was standing on the other side of the window because it was in the house. So it was looking outside towards me because I was out the house. Okay. It was looking straight at me on the other side of the window.

I just keep asking you, like, spatial questions. Okay, so the window, how big was the window? No, I'm just kidding. Okay, so you're outside. The bear is inside. Now you're on your way to run out with your child, right?

Yes.

And so what happens?

The bear sees me, obviously, and just starts to roar or whatever it is that the bears do.

See, I have a bear roar. Did it sound like this sounded exactly like. Really? That's scary.

Super loud scary. With a seven year old on my hip who is now completely freaking out.

Right.

So right in front, there was one of those huge push brooms that you sweep decks with. And so I grabbed this broom and just started slamming it through this door or through this window right on this bear's face.

But now, why did you change your approach from leaving to fighting the bear?

Because it was obviously going to come after me.

It was. It was going to jump through the window.

Yeah. It was like, 2ft away from me. And my kid was. I knew I couldn't outrun it, and I also knew that the rest of my family and all my friends were in this house. And I left bear. So I start screaming and I'm hitting this bear, and I got, like, I don't know, four or five hits in, and it lunged in and basically bit my arm. And I dropped the broom, and I don't know how long I had my arm for, but eventually it let go and when it let go, I spun around and put my daughter in front of me and then started running as fast as I could, back around the other side of the deck, away from the window, just making sure that he would have to get through me to get.

When the bear bites your arm, is your daughter, like, screaming what is dead.

Silent, really white as a ghost, eyes as big as saucers.

Oh, my God.

I, on the other hand, am screaming my tail off. Bear, bear, bear.

Were you in such adrenaline that you couldn't really feel it or did it hurt like a bitch?

Didn't feel a thing.

Really? That's crazy.

That's literally nothing. Yeah, it was all a blur. I didn't feel anything.

Have you seen a show called I was prey?

Should I.

No, it's honestly not. I'm not going to say it's great, but there is so much discussion of these horrific injuries and people being like, I didn't feel it at all until much later. Yeah. It's crazy that your body just creates this adrenaline where you can't feel it when you need to not feel it.

It totally did. I just immediately was doing things I wasn't really thinking and it was insane. Yeah, by the time I made it around. And here's where actually your spatial question about the windows. Really?

Oh, good.

Because my daughter, who was looking over my shoulder as I was running away, said that apparently the bear was too chubby to fit through the window easily. So that bought us like an extra seven or 8 seconds before it wiggled out and managed to come through. By that time, we had gone around and it broke through the rest of the deck and ran back out in.

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When Walter Isaacson set out to write his biography of Elon Musk, he believed he was taking on a world changing figure.

That night, he was deciding whether or not to allow Starlink to be enabled to allow a sneak attack on Crimea.

What he got was a subject who also sowed chaos and conspiracy.

I'm thinking it's idiotic to buy Twitter because he doesn't have a fingertip feel for social emotional networks.

And when I sat down with Isaacson five weeks ago, he told me how he captured it all.

They have Kansas spray paint and they're just putting Big X's on machines, and it's almost like kids playing on the playground just chews them up left, right, and center. And then like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, he doesn't even remember it. Getting to Mars doesn't excuse being a total, but I want the reader to see it in action.

My name is Evan Ratliff, and this is Elon Musk with Walter Isaacson. Join us in this four part series as Isaacson breaks down how he captured a vivid portrait of a polarizing genius. Listen to on Musk on the iHeartRadio app Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Tune in to the new podcast stories from the village of nothing much like easy listening, but for fiction. If you've overdosed on bad news, we invite you into a world where the glimmers of goodness in everyday life are all around you. I'm Catherine Nikolai, and you might know me from the bedtime Story podcast. Nothing much happens. I'm an architect of cozy, and I invite you to come spend some time where everyone is welcome and kindness is the default when you tune in, you'll hear stories about bakeries and walks in the woods, a favorite booth at the diner on a blustery autumn day, cats and dogs and rescued goats and donkeys, old houses, bookshops, beaches where kites fly and pretty stones are found. I have so many stories to tell you, and they are all designed to help you feel good and feel connected to what is good in the world. Listen, relax. Enjoy. Listen to stories from the village of nothing much on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Join us for the can't miss live music event of the holiday season, our iHeartRadio jingle ball special coming to ABC December 21, starring Cher, Olivia, Rodrigo Sza, Niall Horan, Sabrina Carpenter, one Republic Jelly Roll, Big Time Rush, and more. Tune in to the iHeartRadio Jingle ball special on Thursday, December 21 at eight, seven central on ABC and stream next day on Hulu and Disney plus.

Because what would you have done if you and your daughter get out and then you just see it go upstairs or wherever the other people are?

I have no idea. I don't think it would. So when we got back in the house, all the lights were on by now because I had woken everybody up and everything was. I put her down and there was literally blood flying all over the place.

Right, because it must have hit an artery or something, because the little I know about blood, it looked like it was spattered all over the photos. I will post to our instagram with your permission. But it just looked like absolute. It looked like it was like a cartoon of like. But again, I've seen bear attacks where people do lose their face, or obviously they could be fatal. So it seems to me your level of bear attack is kind of the perfect level for this podcast, certainly, but for life, if you have to be attacked by a bear, one arm bite, I mean, do you have a scar? It seems like you healed well, really.

Small, and it's not so bad. And actually that's. So when the ranger came, and one of the things he said was, obviously we should not have left the s'more stuff out on the counter. First thing, for anybody who's going anywhere near tile, don't leave sweets out on the counter and close all the windows. But the other thing he said is that the bear always goes out the way it comes in, and it especially is not happy when you interrupt its dinner. So basically I interrupted dinner, and I was standing right in front of the window it went in on, right.

It was trying to leave, maybe, exactly.

But that's why no one thought it would go back in once it got out. So they took me to hospital in truckee, and I was there all night.

Is that a good hospital?

They were great.

They were awesome.

Yeah, it's small, it's not a big.

One, but they probably see a fair amount of bear attacks. I should be calling the truckee hospital and be like, feed me, people, feed me.

The funny thing was, they said there aren't that many. And the doctor had been, doctor who treated me had been there twelve years, and they had never treated a bear.

Attack, really, because when I was kind of looking around online, it did seem like there was a number of them in Tahoe, but maybe they weren't making contact. It was just sort of, there's like a bear in a car. One lady had a bear in her, like, was that a bachelorette party? Do you see that one?

I think I've seen similar. And even the ranger who got to us said that on that same street that we were on like a month or two before, a bear had broken into a car and actually put the car in neutral and literally drip. It had gone like a mile down the road, slammed into someone's front porch, so they came out of their house and the bear was literally in the driver's seat. Wow, that's kind of nuts. Apparently it's 41 bear attacks per year is sort of what they had at least the year before. I got.

It's not nothing.

It's not nothing, but it's not a lot. But what he did say, though, apparently the year before in South Lake Tahoe, there was one that was fatal, and that was one. And what he said was, I was super lucky that it was on the other side of the window because if it was not, it would have used its claws, and it's like wolverine, so it's full. Just die instantly. So, actually, if you're going to get attacked by the bear, by a bear, you apparently want it to bite you and not swipe you. That's the idea.

Why can't it do both? Bite your arm and then swipe you?

I mean, in this case, except they couldn't reach.

We've already established the spatial situation here with the window was preventing the chubby bear from swiping you. Well, what a crazy story. Now, does your daughter, was she having nightmares? Was she traumatized? Was she, like, this is so cool, that you fought off a bear? What was the last?

Literally. Yes, to all of that. At the beginning, it was intense. We even had to stay there one more night because I couldn't travel, so we had to stay. And we locked ourselves in the upstairs room with bear horns and craziness. And she didn't sleep at all. Yeah, she was traumatized for a long. I don't think she slept with the lights off for about nine months.

Oh, my goodness.

And she still sleeps with us. And that's five years ago. But that said, we had an amazing therapist that we found right away who basically immediately went into telling her about how so many cultures believe that if you have an intent, tense, run in with a wild animal, it's because they picked you and they're in Kauai, they call it. It's the animal picks you because you have similar traits. And so she did a lot of learning that bears are strong and they're loyal and they protect their family and they're super smart and things like that.

The therapist was basically calling you a bear, kind of.

Yeah, and calling her a bear. Calling my daughter.

Right.

And saying, that's your spirit animal. Over the next two years, she ended up writing about it and drawing about it. We're a super artistic family, and the kids are artistic, and she renamed it so it was named Chomper. This bear has a name called it. It was super traumatizing, obviously, for her, but I think we all came out pretty well. I certainly felt like a superhero after it. The doctor on the way out was like, are you sure you're okay? And I'm like, not only am okay, I just fought a bear. My kid and I are still alive. I go, I think someone needs to drive me to Reno. Yeah.

I'm euphoric.

Yeah. I'm like the luckiest man on the planet.

When the bloody arm went all over the cabin. Did you have to do a tourniquet?

Oh, yeah.

And you knew how to do that?

I didn't. The guys who I was with, apparently, at least they thought they knew how to do it. They ripped up t shirts and towels and did all that kind of stuff. And they're super good friends of mine and I don't know, I think we've watched a lot of movies.

Right. You're like, tourniquet.

I can do this.

Yeah. Got to do a tourniquet. That's like a classic trope of any kind of limb injury. Wow. And then do you know what type of bear it was?

Yeah. So it was definitely a black bear, but it was brown because they don't have brown bears in Tahoe, apparently. And brown bears are, like, grizzly. And I would have been toast right away.

Yeah.

But it was probably, like three or 400 pounds. And then the Rangers sent me a text about three weeks after with an ABC news story that there was a quickie mart at the bottom of that same hill. And they had visual that a bear had gone into the quickie mart and grabbed a bunch of Twinkies and stuff. And then the guy behind the counter had, like, shoved him out with a broom. So he sent me this picture. He's like, hey, is that your guy? And I was like, it looked just like the same size, same shades, kind of like a reddish brown.

And they don't euthanize. I know a lot of these situations, they euthanize the bear if they get too many.

They did. Yeah. They put a trap out the day we left, and they didn't catch it before we left. And apparently they never let us know if they catch it. The plan was one of the traps where the door flies shut. So then they would just drive it way out and hopefully put it somewhere else, I think. Hopefully. But, yeah, they need to move it out of the area, though, because they said if it would know that there's.

Food in that house once it knows about refrigerators and freezers. Why? Is it going to be like eating huckleberries or whatever? I don't know. I identify with the bear. No, I'm just kidding. Well, wait, I have to hit the jackpot sound effect because this is the biggest moment of my pogas. Thank you. You did it. You did it. You did it.

Hold on, dude. Sounds like Reno.

It's Reno. It's Reno. Anything else you care to add? Wait, what did you say to watch pick? Something about bear attacks. Did you say to watch something called pick or something? Have you seen pick?

I think you saw the pictures.

I wrote down pick. I was like, it's a movie. And then I forgot that I realized it was you were talking about the pictures, but I'm going to go searching on IMDb for pick.

Well, here's the other crazy thing is, I did get a call at one point when they were looking for composers for cocaine bear.

Oh, my. That would have been perfect.

I don't know. I was super busy, so I was like, I don't know that that's the one I want to get into right now.

But it. Was it too close to home? Was it, like, too PTSD for you?

Actually, I don't think it would have been, but my agents thought it was. I don't know.

They're like, dude, we got the perfect thing, man. Agents. We just think literally, that's like, when after I did Gina and Brooklyn nine nine, they're like, we got a secretary. Like, I kept getting offers for secretaries. I was just like, this is so uncreative. But, hey, that's Hollywood for you, right?

And I do the music for that show the boys, which is very bloody. And so now everyone says that, obviously I can relate.

You're the king of Gore.

I don't really want to relate.

I have to point out that you just said, I do do.

Oh, I always do.

Listen, don't we all? Don't we all? I can't tell you how thankful I am that you came on here and told your story. It's seriously been something, a money shot that has been building for years. So I appreciate you. I'm glad you're okay. I'm glad your daughter is making lemonade out of the situation and all that. And maybe I'll see you out there in each wood. Awesome.

I hope it was fun, but definitely, yeah. Post the pictures. You have total permission.

Okay, great. Thank you. All right, thanks. Bye.

Awesome to meet you. Take care.

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Set out to write his biography of Elon Musk, he believed he was taking on a world changing figure.

That night, he was deciding whether or not to allow Starlink to be enabled to allow a sneak attack on Crimea.

What he got was a subject who also sowed chaos in conspiracy.

I'm thinking it's idiotic to buy Twitter because he doesn't have a fingertip feel for social emotional networks.

And when I sat down with Isaacson five weeks ago, he told me how he captured it all.

They have Kansas spray paint and they're just putting Big X's on machines, and it's almost like kids playing on the playground just chews them up left, right, and center. And then like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, he doesn't even remember it. Getting to Mars doesn't excuse being a total, but I want the reader to see it in action.

My name is Evan Ratliff, and this is on Musk with Walter Isaacson. Join us in this four part series as Isaacson breaks down how he captured a vivid portrait of a polarizing genius. Listen to on Musk on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Tune in to the new podcast stories from the village of nothing much like easy listening, but for fiction. If you've overdosed on bad news, we invite you into a world where the glimmers of goodness in everyday life are all around you. I'm Catherine Nikolai, and you might know me from the bedtime story podcast. Nothing much happens. I'm an architect of cozy, and I invite you to come spend some time where everyone is welcome, and kindness is the default when you tune in. You'll hear stories about bakeries and walks in the woods, a favorite booth at the diner on a blustery autumn day, cats and dogs and rescued goats and donkeys, old houses, bookshops, beaches where kites lie and pretty stones are found. I have so many stories to tell you, and they are all designed to help you feel good and feel connected to what is good in the world. Listen, relax, enjoy. Listen to stories from the village of nothing much on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Join us for the can't miss live music event of the holiday season, our iHeartRadio jingle Ball special coming to ABC December 21, starring Cher, Olivia, Rodrigo Zizza, Niall Horan, Sabrina Carpenter, One Republic Jelly Roll, Big Time Rush, and more. Tune in to the iHeartRadio Jingle ball special on Thursday, December 21 at eight, seven central on ABC and stream next day on Hulu and Disney plus.

Hey, what's up, Chelsea?

This is Aaron. I was just calling to tell you about the time that I got attacked by a dog and I ripped my face up and, well, I guess that's pretty much. I mean, the story is I was like a child. I was like seven, and my neighbor's rottweiler had attacked me and ripped my ear off. But, yeah, that's about it. Bye.

Okay, so we're listening to voicemails here. I want to now know what happened to that guy's ear. Does it get reattached? I mean, it's also just crazy. Like everyone. Like, I have so many people in my life, like, don't be scared of this or that. Whatever. I'm so cautious with dogs. I don't know. And honestly, I learned my lesson from a small dog. I was in New York, and this lady was holding a dog over her shoulder, and I was like, hey, cutie, or something. It was like. And I was like, oh, yeah, I don't know this dog. And dogs attack. And dogs. If you don't know a dog, you don't know what it's going to be like. So I just can't believe that guy lost his ear and that kid. Mean, these are horrific things. I want to know the situation in which his ear got ripped off. Was it his? Mean? I just. I really do want this person to call in again.

Hey, Chelsea. My name is Melina, and my animal encounter is one for the book. The year was 1967. I was five years old. There was a miniature chimpanzee on display at the pet shop.

What the hell?

Brooklyn on Flushing Avenue. It escaped, I don't know how. Ran across street and bit me in the leg.

Oh, my story.

And everyone always says I was bit by a monkey, but no, it was a miniature chimpanzee. Be well.

Be well. Wait a minute. How are the voicemails? The most amazing stories and the people who got through were like, a squirrel looked at me once, no. A squirrel looked at my best friend's brother, but it had menace in its eyes. I think from the story, I think then people are like, I was attacked by a chimp. My ear was pulled off. What the fuck?

Chelsea Peretti, Jack Bull from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. My wild animal story. When I was a boy, not yet a man, about maybe 1819 years of age, I was walking around by a park called High park here in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Saw the smallest babiest raccoon I ever did see in my whole wildlife. Went down to go give it a little pet and a pat. Was warned by a staunch and angry businessman. Full man in a suit and a briefcase with long, curly hair. He said, you don't want to touch that thing. I said, why? Is its mother going to abandon it? He said, no, they have razor sharp claws and they'll cut you open like a tin can. A tin can? I said. He reassured me it would cut me open like a tin can. So I said, okay, and I continued on my way. And every two steps or so, the businessman would turn around and warn me once again about how dangerous baby raccoons are. And this went on for the better part of ten minutes until he was basically shouting at me from like 100 yards away about how dangerous the baby raccoon was.

Anyway, that's my wild animal story. Keep up the good work, Chelsea. Love you lots. Bye.

That wild animal story had a lot of the energy and feel of the rat catcher, which is now on Netflix. Raw doll story, directed by Wes Anderson. I enjoyed it. It had that same kind of ominous, slow, repetitive, strange feel as that voicemail. So maybe Wes Anderson can adapt it and you'll be off to the races.

Hi, Chelsea, it's Caroline.

Oh, my God. That's funny. Don't stop.

Hi. We're on the conference call, and we just wanted to say that we're big fans of the show. Just wanted to say hi.

That we're calling from two different places.

Yeah, we're calling from Colorado and New York. And that we just, like, sorry for the chaos.

We didn't expect you to pick.

Like, the amount of sweat coming from my palms when you pick up. Oh, my God. You could call me back if you wanted.

I'm good.

My number is three one.

We love you so much. My number is Deb Carolyn.

Okay, we love you.

Bye. Honestly, infectiously happy. And that would be so funny, though, if that was the start of a horror movie and I just started calling them all night long, every night. Ring, ring, ring. And Deb's like, I can't live like this. And Carolyn's like, no more. And they never giggle again. No, they seem great.

So my friend Marissa, she's really more of a loose. Okay, so I got to tighten this up, I guess. Okay. So she was at my house. We were on the porch. She saw a skunk. She started freaking the fuck out. And I was like, oh, my God. She has, like, skunk trauma of some kind. And then she's like, I got sprayed in the face by a skunk. So I was like, oh, my God. This must have happened when she was a child, because how else does this happen to a person? And then the skunk eventually passed, and she told us the story. She was a fucking adult. She was in Boston, and she saw a skunk, but she thought it was a stray cat. And she approached it from behind and realized it was a skunk. Too late. Started screaming when she realized it's a skunk. So her mouth was open, and the skunk sprayed her right into her mouth. Like, the skunk oils and shit that they spray went into her mouth. And she said it was the grossest thing ever. She had to drink, like, a gallon of marinara sauce to get it out of her mouth.

A skunk had a traumatic meltdown.

I just couldn't believe that she, as a full grown adult, got sprayed in the mouth by a skunk.

Skunk juice marinara. I wonder if that would cure the COVID thing where you can't taste anything. They discover that's the one cure. I don't know what sounds worse, chugging a gallon of marinara or getting a skunk, a spray skunk. Well, I feel like the mojo of voicemail people to callers was yet again a reflection on the failures of this podcast. Almost feels like you want to preset up calls, but then you got to schedule, like, every five minutes. You don't know how long the call is going to go. So what do you do? You have people waiting, I guess if you're at a radio show, I don't know that we have the capacity here at call Chelsea Peretti, but what a journey it is to be again, on this wild ride of organizational chaos. I think we've learned that dogs are varying in their level of kindness and danger. And skunks. Skunks can get you right in your smacker. And what else did we learn? Well, first of all, I mean, getting this bear attack survivor call, I have to say, once again, the build up to that moment, I mean, what a coup. What a.

Whoa. What a jackpot and as you can see, the tech on this reboot is su. It cares what's going to happen. Yeah, I've seen some bear attack videos. I know that a lot of people are obsessed with this, and I've seen somewhere I'm like, this is veering away from comedy. So I think we had a perfect level. Just a child traumatized for five, six years. Listen, it's hard. It's hard being a parent, but that's not what this podcast is about. Let's look at my notes here. A lot to figure out with our sound effects, but we'll get there. Thank you to our callers, who've suffered indignities of all varying sizes from creatures of all varying sizes. And what a journey to be back in the saddle, as it were, to use another animal metaphor, taking these calls, reconnecting and trying to make sense of this little marble in the universe, this little marble in the universe that we are perched on like a bunch of ants. What does it all mean? We don't know, but that's what this podcast aims to unpack. What's the meaning of life? What are we doing here? Should we live in fear?

Where's the joy? Where's the laughs? When this podcast finally wraps up, it's going to be like lost. There's going to be no answers. But my God, we're going to search, we're going to raise questions, and it's going to be a fun experiment. I call this a social experiment, more than a podcast. So get your beakers, get your lab coats, and let's get our eyedroppers and start adding a little bit of this, a little bit of that, and see if we can make ourselves a test tube baby. Remember when people used to say that? Now it's just babies. Times change. All right, thanks, everyone. I gotta get into my miata, custom color miata, and head off to malibu.