Hi, my name is Hillary Clinton, and I feel enthusiastic about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

Back to school, ring the bell. Brand new shoes walking loose on the books and comes back into. Hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien, needs a friend I, of course, am Conan O'Brien, as you can tell from my Riedy nasally twang, no one hates their voice more than I hate mine. I know you think you hate my voice. I hate mine even more than you do and have my entire life I'm joined. Said what? I was just like mine.

I was like, OK, are you thrilled when you hear my voice? Don't. No, I didn't think so. But I'm not thrilled for different reasons, not because of like the tone of it. It's just I don't want to hear what you have to say. Yeah. I think I'm a terrific boss who would never throw small candies at you. Oh, that I found here at the podcast studio in a basket. I'm glad you brought that up, because every time we come to Airwolf, you'll take whatever candy is in this basket and you'll just throw it at me, all of it.

But first I say I try and get as far away from you as possible. And then I say Seona and you say yes. And I'll say, and just finish this. We are in a completely empty podcast studio. There's nobody here for covid reasons. And it's all been scrubbed and hosed down and filled with Purell. And I will pick up one of these small candies like a Starburst, and I'll get as far away from you in the room as possible.

And then I say, Seona, and you go, Yeah, this dividers in the room. And I can just see the bun on your hair, the divider. And I'll say, Would you like a starburst? And you'll say, Oh, God, no, no. Yeah. And then I throw the Starburst and I try and hit the top of your hair button. Yes. I don't think I've hit you yet. Yes, you have multiple, multiple times.

Don't hit me. No. And you don't even throw it lightly. You throw it as hard as you pass. The Starburst is a soft candy. I would never throw up to celebrate when you hit me. I would never throw. And this is what I think makes me a great human. I would never launch a hard candy. I would never launch a bar that had any mass. It has to be a small swipe. No, Starburst is hard and pointy.

It's got sharp corners. Yes. I'm sorry. That's are pretty dramatic. Whose side are you on, Sonus? Mine. Oh, OK. Good man. I'm telling you this. A joy that comes with tossing a starburst across the room at someone who doesn't deserve it. I don't know what that is. It's it's being a sociopath. Yes. Yes. That's not very good. Is enjoying inflicting harm on other people with bite size candy. I never throw a like a raspberry or a cherry.

It's always a lime. The crappy flavors was something that. No, that's terrible. Lemon, lemon starburst. No, I'll still eat it though. After it hits me, I'll reach down. That's hard. It will bounce off your impenetrable hair. Sometimes it lodges in the hair bun. Some night you're going to be undoing your hair at night and six Starburst or yata. That's right. That's right. It's that time. I think I'm a good man.

Oh, wait. There was no transition there. No. Well, anyway, it's decided I'm a very moral and financial. No, no, that is not what was estimation. Anybody who missed the previous part. Best boss ever monster. Sociopathic monster anyway. Yes. Let's continue to inflict harm. How are you? Let's ask Matt how he's doing and it can't all be about you. So when you Pavarotti warming up me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

It's a case you should not. I'm a genius here right now. Please, please. Because working with paints. Matt, really. How are you. Right. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm good. You clearly don't want to fart when you talk that way. It's just you don't want the attention turned to. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm good. Move. Your house could be on fire right now. You just don't want the attention on you.

Do you know, I'm like the T. Rex in Jurassic Park. I see motion in movement. If you remain perfectly still, you're safe. If you just freeze. But at the minute you move, that's when I chomp you. Yeah. And if there's a cup and you start seeing the ripples, you know, you're you're right behind you. It's crazy. My son, who's growing very fast, has gotten so big now that when he comes down the stairs, my wife can't tell if it's me or him.

Oh, wow. She doesn't know now. So I walk in the room. She'd be like, Oh, I thought you were Beckett or he'll walk in the room. So, oh, I thought you were your dad becuse she just hears a big galoot monster tumbling down the stairs. It sounds like someone's literally throwing antique furniture down the front steps. And then either my son shows up or I do. I tell my brother and I or my brother would barrel down.

And once he and I were fighting, he ran down and then his knee went through the wall. What this is like my house growing up, it was it was horrific. And it's just the two of us. Yeah. I mean, was. It was like a circus. Yes, there were six kids, my grandmother lived with us for a while. There were dogs, there were parakeets, cats, and a lot of us are big.

So there was a lot of clumping and smashing down the stairs, smashing into things, crashing into each other. Fights would break out. Yeah, it was lovely. It's nice that that's continuing on with the next generation. Yeah. Clomping and everything. Yeah. Yeah. I wear wooden shoes in the house. Oh OK. Yeah I'm trying to. No sense. It's makes perfect sense. I like to clog and I enjoy it. I relax, I wear wooden shoes while I do Irish step dancing and sometimes the clog goes flying off my foot.

I've killed six people accidentally. Whenever they find a dead body in my neighborhood, they know that I'd been Irish. Step dancing. They're calling card. It's my calling card. Konan Irish step dancing with his stupid clogs. Well, let's bag up this body and get it out of here. We can't be messing around today. And I see that every week. I know I say, oh, we we can't afford to waste time. Right. You say it and then you waste time.

Then I waste time. But we really can't today because my guest today is the former secretary of state. I don't get to say that very often. Yes. In fact, I only said it one other time for her for her when she was on the last time. My guest today is, of course, the former secretary of state, the first female senator for New York and the first woman to earn a major party's nomination for president. She now has a new podcast, you and me, both with new episodes every Tuesday.

And I will tell you something, I was delighted speaking with her last time. She was so loose and so funny. And so I'm thrilled that she is with us today. Hillary Clinton, welcome. A lot of people are slow to warm to me, but you and I have spoken before and I thought we got along really well. So I think I'm very happy that you're enthusiastic about it. No, I am. Because really, if we're going to be stuck at home for the foreseeable future, we need to keep our spirits up and figure out how to do that.

And I think you'd be a great conspirator about stuff like that.

Well, that's a thank you. So basically, you're saying you're enthusiastic because there's covid and you've lowered your standards for who you will talk to exactly like that. I mean, you know, I understand that some might interpret it that way. Yes, yes. Yes. Only 80 percent. Well, Secretary Clinton, it is a joy to talk to you again. I had such a good time. I want to say it was a year ago, I believe I spoke with you and Chelsea.

And what was interesting about is you we had such a good time and then Chelsea had to dash out. You stayed behind and you were really eager to talk about podcasts and and sort of pick my brain about it. And I thought, what's going on here? Now you have a podcast and I owe it all to you. So you were using me as what you were? No, no, I. I was blown away by no one, how much fun it was and how relaxed you were and how easy it was to just start up a conversation.

I loved the format. And I, you know, I, I, I think you were my very first podcast. I remember it so.

Oh, that was so nice. No, we did have but we know we did have a really nice time and people loved you have such a great laugh. And I think one of the one of probably the burdens of being in public office and being in the public eye so much and having to talk about serious things is that there's this pressure to always be incredibly serious. And I remember thinking on the podcast you clearly and I've heard this about you, people would always tell me she is a lot of fun.

You know, Hillary Clinton is a lot of fun. She is. She's the life kept secret. Yeah, no, no, no. She said, you know, she's the life of the party. And you were just that funny one over there.

Well, I could tell. I could tell you really had a good time. And so you've got your own podcast now. And I'm curious, where are you? Are you in a studio or are you in your house?

Where are you? I'm in my attic. Yeah, I'm in my house.

That's just that's just sad. Yeah, absolutely. I think it's kind of cool. It's no, no, no. OK, I'm going to go do Conan's podcast. Guess I'll have to go upstairs. I really kind of get a kick out of it. And once you kind of lit the fire for this podcast idea and I talked to a lot of people, a lot of people talk to me about it. So, yes, I I eventually did decide to take the leap.

And it coincided with Colvert. Who knew. Yeah, no, but isn't it it's kind of nice to be able to first of all, for you go up into your attic, you've got family around, you've got these grandkids. It must be nice to say it's been nice. It's been great. But I'm going upstairs now to do my podcast. Do you ever say it when you don't have a podcast but you go there anyway? I'm not going to give away all my stuff.

I mean, we need to talk some more before I get to that level. I can do I can tell that you're surrounded by books. You have a lot of books in that attic. My gosh, we have so many books.

You know, Bill and I are book hoarders. I mean, really pretty neat about everything else, but books everywhere. We have literally built bookcases, wherever there is a foot of wall. And I don't know what we're going to do with all of them because, you know, most people are not into books the way we are. So we've got thousands of them.

Do you find because I'm a reader, I love reading. I've never I've tried the Kindle, but I like to have a physical book. I have found I'm constantly forgetting what just happened in the book. And so I'm used to going back a few pages to say, oh, right, OK, that was OK. Now I know who they're talking about, but I know you don't have that problem. You have you're famous for your memory. You have an incredible memory.

Oh, you know, that's overstated. But I'm like you, I, I've tried Kindle, I've tried to read on an iPad. I like a book. I like a book in my hand. I also have the terrible habit of turning up pages in the bottom corners. If there's something I want to remember to go back to and I don't want to stop and do it now. So my you know, my books are written in my books are creased and crumpled and corners turned down.

But I love that. Yeah, but the problem. It's just a feeling of reading a book, but Secretary Clinton, you've been doing that in bookstores and then and then you've not bought the book and there's been a lot of plans, really only once. Thirty five years ago. I'm sorry. How did you find out? Oh, I have people I have people telling you all the time. And you've been going from bookstore to bookstore, writing notes in the margins, folding, and then saying, I think I'm good.

I'm not going to buy any books that are mean about me, of which there is a lot to choose from. So yeah, I go only those books. Not the right. Do you I mean, you know, it is mind boggling. I've over the years had people write unkind things about me. And then there is your experience of people writing things that are just blatantly untrue and insane, you know, these kind of crazy Internet rumors and you know, you're an international drug lord and hire an assassin.

And who knew? I think you knew. And I think it's been very profitable for you. But but you clearly have been able, I think, to detach from all that and see it for the insanity that it is as opposed to you have to you know, there's so many different reasons. People say unkind, critical, or in my case, wacky, crazy off the wall things. And you do have to, as I have said for a really long time, take legitimate criticism seriously, but not personally.

I mean, so you can learn things from your critics that your friends either don't notice or don't tell you. So there's that whole category and obviously there's a lot out there. But then there's just the stuff that comes at you for all kinds of reasons that actually have very little to do with you. I mean, it has nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with you except you're the target, you know. So it's you know, it's commercial or financial reasons.

It's political reasons, cultural reasons, you name it. So I am amazed at the incredible nonsense that is out there about me. And unfortunately, you know, this was always part of human nature. It goes back many, many thousands of years. But the Internet has amplified it. It's on steroids, just like Trump. You know, it's on steroids. And so it's like going everywhere. You know, you you meet people. And I haven't had a lot of experience with this, but friends of mine and colleagues meet people who say, oh, you know, I read on the Internet that she did X, Y or Z.

And, you know, my friends look at them like, what planet are you from? I believe that stuff because I see it on the Internet. I think humans aren't ready for the Internet. And so people just go down a deep well and then come away from their computer and say, well, I had apparently it's a known fact that Hillary Clinton's been stealing babies and, you know, and selling them around the world. And she's made hundreds of millions of dollars doing that.

And she's used that to buy cocaine. And you're like, what, what, what, what, what now? And only half of that's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. On a good day, that's where you get all that money and all that money. Yeah. I, you know, I've heard books. All right. Yeah.

But on a serious note, I think you're absolutely right. There's a movie that I just saw on Netflix called Social Dilemma where some of the saw that people. Yeah. And some of the people who actually designed the algorithms, engineers, coders and the like are saying, hey, wait a minute, this is this is getting out of control. We got to rein it back if it's going to have the benefits without the terrible damage. Right. I think there are lessons to be learned.

I was going to ask you it occurred to me today I was driving in to do this interview, running just the worst things about, you know, idea that you are a professional assassin. I mean, the crimes you committed just insane. But it's a very long list. You can see it on the Internet. Oh, trust me, I was up all night and I, I, I have a list of charges here to go through. You steal hot air balloons.

Apparently I didn't know that about you. I didn't know that one. Oh, wow. I'm adding it. It's just now I'm realizing it's really fun to come up with them, but I can't come up with any that are sillier than some of the ones that are out there. Yeah, but it was occurring to me that you've had this incredible career of service and you've spent most of it beginning with your time as first lady and going on as senator and secretary, that you're in the mode of answering questions and making sure that you answer people's questions.

And constantly, I think every time I saw you, people were firing questions at you and your job was to answer them now in. This role, and I know you're a very curious person, you get to ask questions, that's got to be fun. It's so much fun. And, you know, when I finally decided I was going to do this, I thought, this is great, because there's all these people that I'm interested in that I find fascinating, that now I'm going to get to, you know, ask questions that are on my mind for a change.

So the title I came up with the title after a lot of false starts, you know, I was going to call it I told you so that didn't go so well.

That could come across. OK, I thought there'd be a conversation starter. I told you so. Yeah, exactly. And so I found myself, especially with this pandemic took off and everybody was trying to figure out what the heck was going on and all the craziness around. You know, I'd find myself saying you and me both. I mean, I can't believe this. This is crazy. Yeah, you and me both. So that's how we came.

You and me both is a great title. I think what's nice about it is that, yes, it pertains to the current situation and that's what we've all been living through for the last four years and the madness and the fears that we all have. But it also is a title that will serve you well when we're through all this and we will get through it. Yes, you and me both is you can talk about anything. You can talk about your grandchildren, you can talk about.

And I think that's the lovely thing about it, is that you're not tied to politics or policy.

Exactly. You know, I mean, I did talk to John Legend about voting and about what he and others are doing to try to get the Florida state government to allow the people who have served their time to actually show up and vote. But I also talked to ten France about what do we wear in a pandemic?

And you'll be surprised to hear him say when the when that episode runs. Well, you know, yes, we're all wearing leisure clothing. Yes. At least try to wear nicer leisure clothing. You know, I totally bought into and I got to talk to Diana Nyad, who is like one of my really favorite people, because this is a woman who tried over and over and over again to swim. She was a long distance endurance swimmer. And then she she quit after she did like around Manhattan and all kinds of other great swims.

She quit and became a sportscaster. But she had tried when she was younger, in her 30s to swim from Cuba to Florida. And it's apparently a really, really tough swim because of the currents and the sharks and the box jellyfish, which can kill you and all the rest. I had the best time talking to her. I mean, she stumbled out of the water on her fourth try at the age of sixty four. So a lot of a lot of encouragement there.

So, you know, I'm trying to talk to people that I'm really interested in and I love talking to you.

So maybe someday, you know, so maybe someday I'll do something impressive is what you're saying. You know, I've tried I know I've tried that Cuba swim and it's no fun. No, but, you know, there's other things you have done which, you know, I'm not just in the public arena to talk about. What is really fun is I think this is what you're going to enjoy the most. And this is what I have found over the years.

There is the part of my job where I would entertain as an entertainer. I would need to speak to people who didn't necessarily have a lot to say or weren't that introspective and actors maybe who are very young, who hadn't had a lot of life experience. And I found myself really being drawn to people who maybe weren't as famous but who had done something that blew my mind. You know, people people that had walked across the South Pole and and only brought three dogs with them and some beef jerky.

And I'm like, how did you do that? I mean, that is I made that up. No one did that. But but some people got close to doing that. Yeah. And I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah.

You know, when we were chatting earlier and you said your motorcycle and I could tell first of all, no one's ever asked me that before because I think I don't seem like a motorcycle person. And the truth is, I love motorcycles and I have a motorcycle and I ride it a lot and I really enjoy it. And I thought, that's so interesting. No one's ever asked me that. But it's one of the first things Secretary Clinton asked me out of the blue.

And I happened to have a long ride yesterday and was thinking this morning about how much I enjoyed it. And it's almost like you. You're just curious. You just want to know, hey, have you ever done that? Yeah. Yes, I have.

And well, also, when we were talking, you promised to give me a ride on the back or in a sidecar, and I'm going to hold you to. I think you'd would be such a great I'm just left a photo op. We could put the microphones on how much you can do the podcast while we're on the road. Would that be great? Is like updating five pieces of something substantial. Koenen think of the potential. I think you and I could sell that right now.

Yes. Here's the streamers. They are so hungry for content. Can you imagine how excited they'd be. Let's get this pitch straight. OK, now obviously it's your name first because you're a historic figure and revered. So you're first, although you're alphabetically to. Yes. Also, although your criminal record will have to look into that a little more. But I think that'll make us more attractive. Yes. Yes. Conan on the road with the ultimate bad ass, world renowned criminal, Hillary Clinton.

You and I, I'll ride the motorcycle, you in the sidecar and or however you want to work it. I think we both need to be wearing giant goggles because it's a funny little horse. And then we stop there. I mean, we got to wear leather like cod liver. You say, wait a minute. Yes, yes. I love it. If you're going to wear a leather biker outfit, I'm down for this, OK? I am down for this.

Yeah. Yeah. Do we have to clear this with your husband or Chelsea? I mean, you know, that's all over. I'm done with all of this stuff. Really. OK, so. All right. All right. Good, good. Well, I'm going to I'm going to pitch this show in an hour. Oh, good. I understand that you will get the lion's share of the money. I know how these things work. We're going to go fifty fifty fifty.

I insist on it. OK, all right. Now, if there's a sequel, oh, you're going to want like a profit participation. You're going to want to do something. Yeah, they call it the back end or something. I don't know. You're talking I've I've been forced out of the business long ago. Can you imagine what your grandchildren would think? How many grandchildren do you have? I have three fabulous grandchildren. Wow. Six year old granddaughter and a four year old and one year old grandson.

Oh, my God. Can you imagine what they would say if I pulled up on a motorcycle? They would be so excited. Are you kidding me? Beside themselves, they'd want to ride in the side.

Well, I think we got to go with Conan and the grandkids. Yeah, no, we can't take them on a motorcycle. We'll get a lot of get a lot of blowback on that one. First of all, you you want to be putting children to work on road crews and you want them in a motorcycle. Something to do. They're going crazy with zoom learning. I know. I got to do. I know. I love it. When I told you that my kids just before we started that or just as we were beginning to chat, I told you my kids were were bored with Zoome learning.

And you said, well, they they could work on building a road that would be educational. Sure. Right. Yeah, it's you know. Are you good. Let me ask you this. Are you good with the tech side of all this? Because I find that a little frustrating. I'm sure you have people helping you. I do.

Yeah. Let me be really clear. I, I am so I guess primitive a beginner. I mean, you know, there's things I can do but don't trust me with it now.

No. So I mean my problem is I have a son who is fourteen and he's very gifted with computers and very smart and intelligent about computers, and he spends all of his time laughing at me because I'm like a caveman and I want to turn on the news and see what's happening. But I have the wrong remote. And he says, no, it's not that remote. He and know that. Oh, really? Oh, really. So that's how you think you download an app?

Really. And I'm humiliated all the time in Sona and my assistant. You've been witness to this, right? Yes, every day. It's the most frustrating thing for sure. And I'm I'm a total Luddite, a total idiot when it comes to technology. Right. And the simplest things, just searching for something on Google, you're like, I just don't remember how to do that. Oh, now I know how to do that. I want to jump right in here and I don't want to be totally associated with your incapacity.

I go a little way with you, but not to. Google can't do that. OK, so so you're not you're willing to be somewhat self-deprecating, but then we got to a level where you can't follow me because I'm humiliated. I mean, self deprecating is one thing, but admitting you don't know how to Google. OK, that's that's a problem. You're you're shredding me right now. I don't enjoy it. This is that I could get this abuse.

Other places I can't believe. So I remember when electric cars first came along. Yeah, there's a bunch of years ago and people would stop and stare and say, what a strange contraption.

Yeah, like, look at that electric freak.

Yeah, well, no, they didn't say that. No one said that. They just said, look at that electric car. That can't work. What does it take? D batteries.

That's what people used to say, you know. But you know what happened?

People thought that was weird, but they thought a lot of things were where they thought iPhones were weird when they first came along or the electric blanket when that was first introduced. People thought it was strange, but now we accept all those things. You see, the point of this ad is to get you to accept the electrical car, OK?

It can go a long, long ranges. There are charging stations all across this great nation, faster charging times. It's no longer something to be afraid of or ponder or stop and stare. It's your chum, your electric chair. And also the electric car used to be thought of as something, oh, I don't have enough money for one of those electric cars.

But now they there are quite affordable. I tell you, you like when I call them electrical cars.

I know. I don't know. And they don't know what you're doing. What I'm saying is and the whole point of this ad campaign is electric cars. They're normal now. That's the message they want to get out. And who better to hear some things normal now than from Conan O'Brien?

How do we make people accept electric car telephone in its normal tone? A guy tell the guy with a cupcake for a haircut that it's normal. But anyway, the electric car. Yeah, hey, I drive an electric car and you should to find out more at normal now. Dotcom. Hey, everybody, it's your pal Conan O'Brien that's that's seems like I'm supposing they're my pal, they might not be. You don't think you're there, pal. They could be randomly trying this podcast out.

Oh, I think they're all your friends. OK. Hey, everybody, it's your acquaintance Conan here to tell you about a new Team Coco Originals Web series featuring some of our favorite stand up comedians from Conan on TBS. Each week, Conan supervising producer J.P. Buck is going to sit down with a different comedian to watch and rehash who said they performed on the show. You'll find out how comedians workshop their jokes, how their friends and family reacted, how he helped shape their sets, and what their experience was backstage on Conan.

I'm a big believer in showing people the process. And if you're interested in comedy or just a fan, this would be a really good exercise to check this out. This season is going to be joined by comedians Daniel Sloss, bestselling Solomon Georgio, Genov Friedman and more. You can find full episodes of the setup weekly on the Team Coco live Instagram page and on Team Koko's YouTube. Check this out. It's a good idea. I love that you have this format.

First of all, I think to show your curiosity and and also let loose, because I think my sense is that in public life and it's not just my sense, it's my I'm absolutely certain of it, you know, with the culture wars and everything that you always have to be, I see it. Everyone always has to be couching what they say so carefully. And half the news media at least, is always trying to get you to trip up and say the wrong thing or extrapolate what you said into something that's not what you said.

And then to be in this format where you can I don't know, I feel like we're sitting around having a glass of wine and we're just a good idea. Well, it's early.

Secretary Clinton, it's earlier for you, right? It's three hours later. Three hours later. OK, all right. Conan, I think, look, you know, you make such a good set of points. I mean, it is a tightrope when you're in the in the public arena unless you lie with impunity and abandoned. But if you're trying to get it right or you're trying to be responsive and responsible and I'm afflicted with the responsibility gene in my public career.

Yeah. And I would add there's an additional set of concerns around being a woman. I was yes. You know, the debate with Carmello, who's a friend of mine, I talked with her a lot, thought she did a great job in some of the commentators afterwards said, well, you know, she was kind of pulling back. No, she was, you know, projecting and talking and laughing and frowning like a real human being. Yes, but women's public appearance is still looked at through a different lens.

So you just have to you have to figure out the best way you can to deal with it and get through it. So, yeah, I do think that being on the other side of that, as I am now, and especially in this format, which I feel really comfortable in, I was a big radio person growing up. We had the radio on in my house all the time. And even when I was a little girl and I'd come home from school, you know, I'd sit at the kitchen table and my mother would make tomato soup or something, and we'd listen literally to the radio because there was a soap opera on the radio in Chicago that coincided with my being home from lunch that my mother loved.

So I loved the format of radio. I loved the ease of being able to listen and be thinking or doing something else. So along comes podcasting, which is kind of like the radio ten point. Oh yeah. And it brings people back into that intimate listening experience, usually hosts like yourself and a guest like me or maybe a couple of people. I find it. I don't know. I find it very relaxing, informative and fun. Yeah.

I think it's also I remember us talking about this after the podcast I did with you last year, and I think I was saying, if I remember correctly, but we were having a discussion about how, you know, for someone like you who people can take your image or your words when you're in a certain arena and they can do with it what they will, depending on what their intention is, what they're predisposed, political beliefs are, their biases.

This is a format where I defy anybody to listen to us talking right now and have any kind of problem with you, because you're when the visual cues are taken away and it's just the two of us chatting and you're saying, let's jump on a motorcycle and koenen, you idiot. What do you mean you can't Google something? I do a Google search. They can get a sense of of just you, just you and and I. I think one of the problems in our country right now is it's too easy to make someone another.

And any medium, any medium where someone can say, I was listening to Hillary Clinton today and she was funny and relaxed and in the appropriate moments, she was giving Clinton a hard time because, man, someone someone needs to someone needs to call him on the road for a few things. That is, I think, something very powerful about this medium. Yeah, I did want to bring up something that you mentioned. It's an admission on my part that I am somewhat embarrassed by the fact that I grew up in a liberal household with good, very hard core Catholic parents and Democrats.

And I'm an Irish Catholic from Brookline, Massachusetts. So when the Kennedy Democrat mold and I grew up working for people like Congressman Drinan and Barney Frank and really being committed to a lot of those sort of core ideals of the Democratic Party, that's not been a big part of my comedy, but. That's who I am, that's what I identify with. I remembered thinking, being surprised in the last 20 years, there was part of me I think was very naive.

And I think the worst part of me that thought, yes, America has a terrible racial problem and that we've come a long way and maybe thinking we came further than we did. And that was upsetting to me in the last 20 years to constantly be reminded that, no, we haven't come as far as you may have thought we did Conan. And then the second thing is, I think I underestimated the misogyny in our culture. And I feel badly about that because I know exactly what you're talking about.

Kamala Harris clearly has to play by a separate, different set of rules when she debates basically a guy who looks like the a Lego figure for a white man with a fly on the fly. Yeah, but I mean, but I buy the Lego Lego. It's just come out with a new figure, the white man figure. But he's and I was very aware now and I don't think I used to be, that there's a set of rules and obviously I'm talking to you.

Who knows better than anybody in the world, unfortunately. And you had to be, I think, the the figurehead at the bow of the ship. And there are other women before you. But this is very unfortunate that we all kind of, I think, had to find out together how much of a bias there is against women. And, you know, as someone who's got a as I say, a 16 year old daughter, I want her to have a completely different experience.

I think, thanks to you, she will. And thanks to a lot of women like you, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and all kinds of women, I think I think my daughter is going to have a very different experience, but I have a lot of empathy for people like yourself that have had to go through it. Well, I really appreciate your saying that. And I like the way that you kind of contextualized it, because I do think that we have to admit that we've made progress, we've made progress in these two really thorny, difficult areas of our communal life, namely race and, you know, sex.

And and we've seen racism and we've seen sexism that we've had to fight against and overcome. And we've had to change laws. And there's a constant pushback that sometimes is not as visible or effective as it as it can become. And so when I look at where we are, I think that Trump and his enablers gave a lot of permission to people to say things and act in ways that were deeply racist and misogynistic. And part of what I hope this election will be about is reclaiming any ground that's been lost and continuing to push forward because it's unfinished business.

And if anybody had lived through the last months, how can you how can you not see the need for a moral reckoning with systemic racism? I mean, how can you deny that? Right. And I love the reaction by young people who seem to be much more impatient and just unwilling to accept that this can't be changed in the streets night after night, peaceful protesting. And I just hope that we can come together around this and admit that, yeah, we've made progress.

I would certainly agree with that. But we still have a long way to go. And, you know, with respect to women, you know, thanks to Ruth Bader Ginsburg, we've knocked down a lot of the barriers and discrimination that had been enshrined in our Constitution and our our laws. But we still live with implicit bias. We still have people with a straight face say, well, I'd hire a woman if I could find a qualified one or I'd vote for a woman.

Just not that one or that one or that one. You got any more? How about these 50 go? No, none of them. Yeah. So people need to have a certain level of honesty and self reflection, like, hey, wait a minute, what do I have to do to do my part to, you know, make sure that black men and boys are not afraid to walk down the street and, you know, black women are not objectified and mistreated and women in general get, you know, like your daughter get to go as far as their hard work and talent will take them.

So it's it's a critical moment because Trump embodied a lot of the the cultural pushback. And it's something. That is not going to go away if he loses, which hopefully he will, and we will change political directions, we still have a lot of work to do. Yeah, I think I'm a big surprise, but a big a big Biden Harris supporter. This is the shocking revelation in this podcast. We won't tell anybody. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm curious, have you decided yet who you're voting for? This is that I love to say like now. Sorry, I know that you're still undecided. Yeah. What can I get these people that are undecided? I don't know. I love it. They can always find someone and they can always see people who have attention deficit. Yes. They need some attention. Yeah, I know. They're always finding someone. Well, the election's tomorrow.

Oh yeah. The United States has been embroiled in financial racial. You know, half of the United States is on fire. Unprecedented horrors under this administration. What do you think? Insane reality contestant Donald Trump or seasoned calm and moral Joe Biden? Well, I don't know about the crazy guy. Great Trump. Yeah. I mean, where do you see Garanimals? Yeah, he likes Sandoval. May be here. You know, Biden likes animals, too.

Well, then I'm still undecided. It is maddening. It is so. And I just go crazy. I just think I mean, I know that you've lived in this world, but I don't I just I am not a political comedian. That is something that I've always stayed away from. And not just because it's not. I've really wanted to be funny and I've wanted to be funny for a lot of people. And I and I, I like to be funny or I try to be funny about what makes us human and what we what makes us inherently silly as human beings and not Republicans or Democrats.

And that's just always been sort of how I go about it. But over the years and I've had a very good I had John McCain and Bob Dole on my late night show countless times. And they're both funny guys. Yeah, very funny guys. And just and I remembered my introducing Senator McCain to my parents, and he was lovely to them. And they were they were floating on air. And I also got the chance to introduce my parents to you.

And once and they were my mom. I've been I've told you this before, but one of the early women to go to Yale Law School on a full scholarship, her father was directed traffic in Brooklyn and in Worcester, Massachusetts, and made fifty five dollars a week. And his daughter went to Vasseur and then Yale on a full scholarship. And she and she so she was just floored to meet you. And like you, she encountered a lot of sexism along the way and just kept going.

She she was not bitter about it and took it in stride and kept moving. And my experience has been I've had I shared a stage when I spoke at Dartmouth with the first President Bush, and we had a lovely conversation about Ted Williams and the Boston Red Sox. And he said, you got to come up to my house in Kennebunkport some time. And I I said, well, you don't mean that. If I think if I came over the wall, they would take care of me pretty quickly.

He was laughing, but I met him and I met Barbara as well. And they were absolutely lovely to me. And I have a picture with them and it means a lot to me. So I'm not strident. But what I am strident about is morality and ethical behavior and justice and justice. And I think you do not have to be an ethicist to know that this president has completely undermined the norms of human behavior. And as a dad, I'm embarrassed.

I'm embarrassed. And I've several times said to my kids, I'm sorry, I'm sorry that this is the president that you've got. And, you know, I really resonate to that because, you know, as somebody who's followed politics, been involved in greater or lesser ways for a long time, you know, I've disagreed with Republicans, I've disagreed with Democrats. But it it was always, you know, on the basis of some kind of policy difference or approach that, you know, I didn't think would work and they did or vice versa.

This is an aberration. I I've known, you know, I had the opportunity. To meet a lot of presidents, Republicans and Democrats, and on a human level, as you're describing, you could you could feel the humanity. You could you could sense the you know, the values, the norms, whether you agreed with them or not. But you knew that this was a person who had thought a lot and and and really struggled and often overcame problems and, you know, in his or her own life.

What we're going through now is just so different from anything that I think we've ever experienced, really. So I'm hoping that we end this experiment, this national nightmare and this election experiment is a very kind word for it. It's crazy because it kind of what people were like, what difference? You know, what there was to make. These politicians are all alike. You know, I don't really I don't really know what they're going to do for me.

Let's try this reality TV guy. I mean, how bad could it get? So there you go. Of a lot of evidence, right? Was that another possible title for your podcast? How bad could it get? So I. I told you, we have a short window. Well, I'm very thrilled to announce that the the movie TV series, Biker Buddies starring Secretary Clinton and Conan O'Brien riding across the country, one on the motorcycle last night.

Have a deal for us. Yes. It just came through how we are getting paid seven thousand dollars a year from the people at Wehbe. This is the best deal I could make quickly. At least I think I was talking to. I'm not sure it's very chaotic on the other end of the phone. You know, I have to say, it is it's it's really is so much fun to talk to you. And again, I had the same experience I had the first time, which is you're just a delight to chat with.

And you're somebody who you have the values that I respect, which is make yourself as intelligent as you can, read a lot of books, have some humility and work very hard. And you have done that. And I think you've done an immeasurable amount of good for people like my daughter. So I'm just I'm I'm proud. I'm proud to know you. And I'll be by tomorrow, I guess, just hang out maybe any time, literally. Any time you're saying you're saying any time.

You going to ship the bike. Yeah, I should probably shift the bike. I'll shift the bike and then I'll come by and you know, we could get another sidecar. If your husband wants in. That could be on the other side. Yeah, but I guess he gets he's going to get in the way. He's going to kill our we have a good chemistry. We yeah. I think we could like send him. I had scouted.

He's the former president, is a production scout that goes ahead and scouts locations. Wow, you would love it. I was talking to folks. Trust me, I know. I've been I great. I know this is a true story. I did an event with your husband actually was a couple of years ago. You were there, too? Yes, I was. And we were at was at Berkeley. We were in yeah. We were at Berkeley for a Clinton Foundation.

And so he he did a great job. We did this Clinton Foundation event. He did this terrific did a great job. And my job was to ask him questions. And I'm sitting up there on stage and need a knee and he's talking and he's never at a loss for words. And then it's over. And I think what we're going to be ushered away and your husband kind of follows us a little bit. And then he's talking not just to myself, but to you as well.

Yes. Yeah. And he's talking to us about ways to get fresh water to this part of Africa that needs better water. And there's a there's a way they can do it. And he's talking to us and he's going on at great length. And his advance team is tugging at his elbow and they can't get him to start to stop explaining because there's literally a line of seven hundred people that he is promised to get a photo with, but he can't stop talking about it.

And then finally, they're looking at me angrily like I'm not saying anything. I made a hand gesture, like, what do you want me to do? He's a he's a former president. I can't say zip it. I know you can, but I can. Yeah, I can. But he but he really you know, when he is talking to somebody like you that he thinks, you know, this guy really could understand it or get it right.

Appreciate it. He's know he's hard to stop because he he wants to kind of get it out and get you involved in it. You know, I'm surprised he didn't call you and say, let's go to Africa and figure out how we're going get water thinking like he did. I just didn't take the call back. I'll ride I'll ride with you any time on the motorcycle. But when he starts talking about fresh water, I just start to I want to help, but I can't hear all about it.

Well, Secretary Clinton, thank you so much. Again, an absolute delight. My best to your husband and to Chelsea and to your grandchildren. And like you, I've got my fingers crossed for better times. I think better times are going to come. I really do. You and me both, as I like to say, you and me both. Very good. You're already learning. You're learning the trade, you both and continue to have fun with your podcast.

And I'll be there any time you need me. Well, I'm going to ask, OK, that means a lot to me. The answer is no. I am very busy. That was too easy. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Take care of yourself. I will. Bye bye.

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Hello there.

I'm Rory Scovel. I'm a comedian. I'm an actor, but most importantly, I'm a dad. And I'll tell you what, as a father, it is my sworn duty to tell you about my new show with Team Coco called Dads, the podcast.

On each episode, me and my co-host, Ruthie Wyatt, are joined by a hilarious guest to talk about the mysteries of fatherhood and parenting, people like David Cross, Conan O'Brien, Sabrina Gelis and Roy Wood Jr..

Even if you're not a dad or a parent, I think you're really going to like this show. So please check us out. Find Dads the podcast wherever you get your podcast.

Don't miss it. A while back on the podcast, we thought we'd check in later to see how your hair is doing because you've decided not to cut it during quarantine. And we want to check in with the progress. Well, I wouldn't call it progress, right? A mistake. I have not had a haircut during this entire covid misadventure that we're experiencing. It's getting extremely long in the back. Yes. To that point, almost. It's almost in men.

I mean, I could put an elastic around it. I won't. Why not? I don't like that look. OK, can you at least do it with your hands right now just to kind of show us and see? I mean, this is a really a oh, look at that. There's a lot back here you can really grab onto it. Also in the front, it gets down in my eyes. I had someone say to me the other day who's known my family for a long time, you look exactly like your mom because I have my mom and I look very much alike.

Yes, you do. And now my hair, I think, is maybe longer than my mother's hair. Here's what I've noticed. I'll step out of the shower. First of all, trying to shampoo hair on a unit. You have a massive amount of hair, like just massive amount of hair you do. It's not that's not a nice way to say it. But listen, you have lovely I have very thick curly hair. Yes, yeah.

Yeah. Massive. Well, it's but anyway, it looks like you crashed into a hedge. What the hell. But my point is this house and you maybe you can relate to this. I'm in the shower and usually, you know, lather up and just say, you know what, he needs details. OK, yes. I'd like to rub a soap against my hard muscles and warm water running down the creases of my pectoral my six pack, OK, and into caffery nether regions.

Come on then. You take showers. Everyone knows what you're talking about. Let's move on. Well, let's just say I work out anyway. What you just did was horrible. Yeah, I need a shower after hearing you take a shower anyway, you know, whatever. I get out of the shower and I'll notice that I thought I dried off. My hair holds on to about, I want to say, six liters of water and then it slowly runs down the back of my neck.

Yep. For the next six hours until it's soaking on my pants. It looks like I've wet myself, but yeah, I just it runs down my back. It gets on my. It sounds weird. Well occasionally I do wet myself. I suppose so. OK, that makes more sense. Adds to it. But, but it's got to kind of people have told me it's kind of a surfer bro dude to look very California. It's like, it's like a surfer mixed with Tony Tenille from Captain and Tenille.

Do you remember her. Oh great. Yes. Great reference man. You stay out of this Captain Tennille. Yes. That's a reference from Garlett. I want to say nineteen seventy five. But it's very specific. Love will keep us together. How much. I mean now whenever we have to pay for songs, if we, if I sing them on the podcast, I don't know because on TV, if ever I sing a song, my producer cuts it out and says you shouldn't have done it.

You can't afford. I'll never do that. But if I sing a song on the podcast, we have to pay it. We'll find out. Love, love will keep us together. Wait, are we getting Adam, are you saying we do have to pay for it. We even that little snippet. Yeah. That was just a snippet. You know what I dare someone to come after. Yes I dare Captain Tenille to come after us. Well Captain Cancio.

Yeah. You're saying he looks relieved of his command. Right. Leave it at that. Yeah. The female. He looks like the female. Yeah. OK, yeah. He was saying I think it's pretty. Yeah. I didn't know that. I didn't know which one was to me. Well her name's Tony so. Yeah it's not clear. OK, you're not going to get all of our references because you are younger than us. Yes.

We're going to make a lot of references. I think Gloria and I are the Haldeman and Erlichman with a little John Dean mixed in. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. OK, I'm not afraid of an old reference that's good for our young guys anyway. Keep keep going. You know, I'm sure they enjoy it any who. I'm just going to keep going for it. I'm curious what it's going to do. What's the end game. Because when will you decide.

Now I'm done. Is it something to do with the hair or something to do with covid being over. I don't know. I will tell you this. The massive consensus is that people like it. And this is not a joke. I like it. People prefer this to the iconic and I'm calling it iconic Kohnen quaff. I don't like you saying it's iconic. I don't know that it's very like, oh, my hair's so famous. I'm Conan O'Brien.

Look at my pompadour. It's iconic. It's OK if other people say it. But when you say it sounds kind of Dickie. Well, I had to say it because no one else was saying it. So make it better, though, does it, though? I don't think so. When I'm gone, I bet you there's a good chance that my hair is removed, combed up into its cloth and put in the Smithsonian. Oh, OK.

It's a very good chance. How do they cut your Smithsonian? Every day is checking to see Konan still alive, and they have a team scramjets ready to scramble and they're going to say the minute they hear Carabine today was killed by his assistant assistant. She finally had enough and fired a starburst at him, clutching his throat and he choked to death. Immediately, the Smithsonian scrambled a team to remove the hair from Coneys head where it's been combed up into its iconic pompadour.

And it now rests next to the chair that Teddy Roosevelt was sitting in. Oh, when he was told that World War One had begun. OK, not the same, but OK, keep going. Part of American history. It'll make you feel better. The Fonz's leather jacket is in the Smithsonian. Yeah. And the chair that Archie Bunker's character sat in on All in the Family is in the Smithsonian. My real hair removed from my dead body will be in the Smithsonian for children to stare out and scream for all of time.

Will it be on the form of a head or just lie there like a puddle of ginger hair? No, no, no. What they will do is they will have they will have it on a sort of a mannequin head. It will not be a mannequin head that resembles me. I requested that it be handsomer today so that I look better. Listen, this isn't just me. This is something I've already been asked by the Smithsonian about the hair.

I don't think that ever happened. I would have taken that call, probably come in while you're in the in another area of the office and you answer them. Well, sometimes I do pick up the phone. Yes, I do. The Smithsonian would not call you without me knowing about it. I feel like that's ridiculous. Well, your improv skills are amazing to. It didn't you supposed to. Yes. And me, I don't care. And I don't do improv.

Right. Anyway, your assistant. That's a true story. That's a true wish. And I do think I have I kind of care. But I will say, getting back to the original point, many people prefer this hair. I like do you like this hair better? The overwhelming consensus I get from people is that I look younger. Yeah, you don't. Why why do I look think because it's a carefree you know, it's the devil may care sort of.

You're just out there surfing sort of thing. Right. Maybe I should start wearing board shorts. Yeah. Just in shorts, short shorts and flip flops. No, and just a t shirt. You can't says bikini inspector. Yeah. You can't expose that much skin. So that's a no go wear that with a full orquesta underneath. Yeah, it fills out the body and I like it. I want to hear from our listeners. Yeah. If they're cool with groovy surfer Koenen, let us know.

And if anyone's wants that ridiculous French pastry back on my head, I'd like to hear that as well. That's good because we're almost midway through the season and then maybe we'll do a final check in towards the end and see where things have gotten. If this keeps going, I'm going to have to start using my fingers to push my hair away from my face. He's doing like the Barbra Streisand part, right? You know what I mean? Because my hair is going to start falling over my face and I'm going to have to start using, you know, the way and I don't get like that.

Well, because we've talked about it before and we'll talk about it again, selling sunset. Oh, God, you're a bit late. The realtors you're to they are real realtors. Which ones? They're not. They all got their online certificate rather quickly anyway. They all use their hair is so perfect that they all use the very tips of their fingers to pull their hair back. And, you know, Cashell does it all the time. And of course, Christine does it.

Hi, I'm Koenen. I love that you want to emulate women. Yes. But you know, I love when I've been sighted. How men push their hair back to men don't enter the inferior inferior species. I really believe that. I agree. Yeah we are. Men are replaceable. We're dying out fast. I'm smart, I'm smart. And then I'm very schlender. It's vague. My gender is vague, I think. And I know I have very long hair.

And I think when the revolution comes and women rise up as they should, I think they'll take me along because they'll be like, she looks nice and you're growing out your hair so you can blend in with women. When we raise that, I'm no dummy, OK? This is the real reason for this hair growth, it sounds like. And that's smart. Good, good. Well, anyway, please send us cards through the mail. Yeah.

Because the post office is not overloaded right now and not being used for anything more important. So send us your cards and letters telling me which of my hairstyles you prefer and that will be taken care of before mail in ballots. Well, we're trying to count the mail in ballots, but there seems to be millions of millions million postcards about Honan's hairstyle clogging up the mail. US mail is given up and Trump's been declared the automatic winner. And if you want to blame someone, Conan O'Brien, the idiot narcissist who demanded everyone mail in a postcard about his hair, is to blame.

Waste of time. Yeah. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Sunim Obsession. And Conan O'Brien has himself produced by Lee McCauley, executive produced by Adam Sachs, Joanna Solotaroff and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon at Airwolf. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental Music by Jimmy Bozena. Our supervising producer is Aaron Belayer and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. The show is engineered by Will Beckton. You can rate and review the show on Apple podcast and you might find your review featured on a future episode.

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