Konan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Konan? Visit teamcoco. Com/callkonan. Okay, let's get started.

Hello and welcome to Konan O'Brien Needs a Fan. This is a bit unusual. This is the podcast where usually I speak to a fan around the world or in the United States, anywhere, someone who I connect with, and it's a lot of fun. But I wanted to use this slot today to do something quite different. As some of you listening may know, recently, I appeared on a show called Hot Ones, and it got a lot of attention. Got a lot of people talking. I'm told my behavior was a little unusual for Hot Ones, and everyone has a million questions. The question I get the most about my appearance on that show, other than, did you have to go to the hospital afterwards, is, what's with your doctor Dr. Arroyo, I believe I'm the first person to show up with a physician who looked after me because there were some concerns about my health. I was a little concerned. The day before my appearance, I contacted my doctor and said, Would you be present? You were, and a lot of people are talking about you, Dr. Arroyo.

Well, I actually consider this a follow-up visit because you looked a little distressed at the end there. I was distressed, yeah.

Were you concerned? Well, first of all, before we talk about the hot ones, I'd like people to understand just how we met because we have an interesting meeting, how we first discovered one another. Do you want to talk about it at all?

Okay. I was walking by the Mayo Clinic.

Excuse me, Dr. Roy. I think it's called Mayo Clinic.

I think it's Mayo. You don't say Cinco de Mayo. I was walking by the Mayo Clinic and I heard, I want a second opinion. I ran in and it was you.

Now, at the time, you were not dressed as a doctor. No. I said, Are you a doctor? You paused for a while, to be honest. Okay.

Yes, I did pause.

And said, Yes, I am a doctor.

Well, I thought you were asking if doctor was my given name.

Okay, no.

I said, No, it's not. But I did go to a doctor's school.

You went to a what?

A doctor's school.

Medical school?

Yes, to medical school. Okay.

There was some comments. I mean, this video on Hot Ones has been seen like nine million times. I see. A lot of the comments are, this doctor doesn't seem… Some people were questioning whether you… I'm just telling you what I've read. That's all right. I know you don't read comments. Well, people were saying, I'm not sure he knows what he's doing.

Oh, my gosh. No, I'm just saying… I would like to talk to those 9 million people because…

That would take a while.

Well, and I understood, but I have time. I think there seems to be a question about whether or not I attended doctor school, and I did. Medical school. It was not in the country. I grant you, it was not in the continental United States, but I did attend.

Can you tell us exactly where it was that you attended what you prefer to seem to call doctor school?

Doctor school. I cannot say without returning a lot of money because I was paid very generously not to reveal where I went to medical school. That's why I keep it. I see. But I did graduate. At the top 100% of my class, I am... You can look it up if you ever find it.

I have noticed you have been My physician out here in Los Angeles now for about seven years, I have brought up many times I could come by, I could swing by your office, and you have always said that's not a good idea. That's right. You prefer to meet in a restaurant or sometimes outside a restaurant. Is there a reason that you don't like me to come to your office?

Yes, there is. I'm in between offices right now. I've been with you for seven years. Yes, I know. It's been a while. I go all over the city. I figured, Well, instead of the patients coming to me, why don't I just meet the patients closer to where they are? It's less stressful.

But I've also brought up you could come to my house, and that's called a house call, as you know. Yes. You always say there's this restaurant- Yes.downtown. Exactly. We could meet outside that restaurant.

Yes. Then They allow us to use the restroom in that restaurant. For full exams, there's the mirrors, there's a counter, there's a baby changing station. There's a lot of equipment in that restroom that we can use.

It's interesting because I have, and Sona is here, my assistant, and she knows very well that I work with an accounting firm, business manager. It's all quite sophisticated. Yes, of course. The billing with you is a little strange because I get so many- It's weird. I have a therapist, I have someone who works on my back, I have a dentist, and it's all paid through- He wants cash, right? Yes. You always insist on cash.

I prefer cash. Yes. It's just the way I do business. There's less paperwork, there's less accounting. The IRS doesn't know a thing. The IRS is completely ignorant about my business practices, and the IRS will never track down.

How many people hear- Millions. Millions and millions of people hear this. Millions and millions of people hear this.

Some people from the IRS.

Are listening right now.

I see. I see. Okay. Well, we'll edit that out.

We do make some edits, so that may be one of them.

Okay. I say IR.

What is your It has the S. It has the S. Dr. Arroyo, do you have a specialty in medicine? Is there a field that you're more interested in other fields?

I mean, do you have a specialty in comedy? Or are you an all-around, very funny man?

Well, I don't think it applies. I think comedians can be...

I feel, did you go to a college to be funny? I don't think so. You are just funny and you learn by experience, and I learn by experience. I learn my practice, medical practice, every day that I practice medicine. I get better every day. Okay. I'm a wonderful first opinion. If you want a good first opinion for any medical thing, come to me. Medical thing? Any medical thing, any medical thing whatsoever inside or outside.

There was some... I'll tell you, there was a couple of things that happened during the Hot Ones appearance. I want to say, raise some eyebrows in the medical community. At one point, I was complaining about the heat of the sauce. When this is documented, it's been on the internet all over the place, you applied a stethoscope to my tongue. Yes. Is there, medically, what did that tell you in that moment?

Well, I was listening for any aberration, any weird thing. Basically, I listened to your tongue, and I didn't hear any screaming. I didn't hear anything unusual. It just sounded It was dead, actually. It was just almost nothing. So I thought, you're fine. Because if there was no screaming.

Were you attempted at all to place it on my chest to listen to a heart rhythm?

No, because- Wait.

You think that's some medical quackery?

I don't want after your tongue and put it on there. Okay.

You did something else where I think there was some concern. I think you wanted to take my pulse. Yes. It looked to just about everyone that's viewed the video as if you were choking my neck.

Oh.

And that is a very... I have to say, very few people... My bad.

I thought you said, take my pulse. Like, take it away. That's what I was trying to do.

Wait, is it the first rule, do no harm? Yeah. The Hippocratic oath, the first rule was Hippocratic.

Hippocratic.

Okay, nothing. There's an oath that most people know that have gone to medicine school. Doctor school. Doctor school. Apologies for not knowing the correct terminology. No. You in that moment, I thought that I said, take my pulse, meaning- Take your pulse away. Deprive me of circulation.

Yes. I was doing what you asked me to do. Then you corrected me and said, no, no. Then I had to touch you lightly. Yeah.

Okay.

Tell me about some of your other patients.

I know that When we meet, I never... First of all, you have no office. No office. When you like to be paid in cash- I do. We meet outside a restaurant- A restaurant, yes. Downtown. That's right. And eventually go inside where you're insistent on using the bathroom for a long period of time alone. Often I hear what sounds like bathing in there, but you can't really bathe in a sink, can you?

I have to stay clean, and the bathroom is the perfect place to do that.

Okay. But I don't know if you see other... Are you seeing other patients?

You must be. I would be violating my Hippocratic oath if I told you. Is that the way?

No. No.

I would be my oath of... I That would be violating- You do it in confidentiality. Confidentiality. Confidentiality. Do you have any other celebrity clients? Yeah, that's a good question. I do a lot of players on the NBA. I do a lot of I can't.

You can't really get into it.

Can I say as your assistant, anytime I've had to schedule an appointment with him, it's been very easy? I would say you're very available.

I am very available. You can always, anytime, you have my cell phone number, and I I'm also always on the road, so I can always get to the restaurant quickly and so on.

You solicited an appointment with me out there earlier, which is really weird. You came to me.

We've never met. I did. I walked out of that mobile pet grooming van, and I saw you, and I said, You could use a checkup.

You? I'm just, What? I have to say, so it brings up a really good point, which is your availability. I, about six months ago, but dialed you accidentally at four in the morning. I didn't know who I was calling. I heard you and the sound of a bus. It sounded like someone was ordering you off the bus. Something about you can't sleep here. That's right. You said, I'm available for an appointment, and now would be a good time. I said, No, I butt dialed you. That's right.

I couldn't meet you because they kicked me off the bus. But I don't consider it sleeping on a bus. I consider it a self-induced coma. You did what you had to do.

Yes. Can you tell the audience is going to be curious. My fans, they adore me and they constantly pray for my well-being. Yes. Just assume. Okay. Can you maybe talk a little bit about your assessment of my physical condition? Sure. I give you permission to, by the way. I don't want to violate the oath you clearly learned maybe eight seconds ago. A little quick, just a little...

That's a little ribbing between. All right. We all... Okay.

Because you really didn't seem to know what it was.

Well, I mean, you hear a hippopotamus.

No, Hippocratic.

Hippocratic. Hippocratic. Hippocratic. Hippocratic. Hippocratic. Hippocratic. Hippocratic. Hippocratic. Hippocratic. Hippocratic. Hippocratic. Hippocratic. Hippocratic. Hippocratic.

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Dr. Arroyo, I give you full permission to tell people who are listening who are concerned about me after the Hot Ones and just want to know about my condition in general. Okay, let me ask you a question.

Are you alive?

Yes, I'm alive. You're welcome. Okay. All right. I don't think you're the reason I'm alive. First of all, many times you have prescribed me pills that I didn't think I needed. All right. You I've gone and gotten the pills, and then you've taken them from me. That's right. Is that a common... How does that help me?

I don't want you to get addicted to those pills.

They're very strong and they're very addictive. Why do you have me... You have me pick up large quantities of these pills, which are highly addictive. These are big bottles, very large bottles. Then as I'm picking it up from the drug store, you're usually outside.

Tapping on the window.

Yes. Then you want the pills back before I can even take them.

Yes. Then I give you $25. I don't understand how that helps me medically. Well, it gets you out of the house. You got to go to the drug store. You meet people. I mean, it helps both of us, really. It's pretty even.

Dr. Arroyo, if you don't mind, I've noticed often when we meet that your lab coat seems like it is a little dirty. Usually, when you think of a white lab coat, you think of this pristine lab coat. There have been times, not always, today it looks pretty good, but- It's a new one. Okay. There are times where it's looked like you were rolling around in something or there's dirt and some detritis. Is that something that- Yes.

Sometimes my patients are reluctant to meet with me, and I have to be a little more aggressive in performing the exams. With Matt, specifically, I said, Young man, you could use an exam, and he said, Please go away. I don't have money. Then I proceeded to do the exam, and it got physical.

Yeah, I heard there was a scuffle outside. There was a big large scuffle.

I felt like I left that meeting with a sore arm and a sore back. I didn't come away with any medical awareness, any healing. I was worse for the wear, and that's the opposite of what a doctor should be.

Yes, I suggest you get a second opinion.

You say you give an amazing first opinion.

I give a great first opinion.

He wrote a prescription, put it in my back pocket, and slapped me on the ass.

Is that a common practice for you?

Yeah, it's a motivation tactic. Off you go, young man. Off you go.

Be well. No. Is this something you always dreamed of when you were a young boy growing up?

Up? I did feel a calling.

Was that the dream? You felt a calling?

I felt a calling to heal, to be of service, to be paid in cash. It all came true. It all came true. You are one of my best patients. You're always very tolerant of any procedures we do. Like I said, I don't want to take It's a credit for your incredible health, but I do feel like I play a part.

Well, I have to say, when I asked you to come on Hot Ones, I had no idea that you would suddenly become a famous person, and you are now. You must be getting recognized.

I have been recognized, but I want to say I still keep my rates low. It hasn't gone to my head, and I am still the same affordable doctor that you know.

Yeah. I want to say this, you are the most affordable doctor doctor that I've ever worked with.

Yes, of course, because you don't always need the most expensive of everything. You don't need a Rolls-Royce to take it to the Goodwill. You don't always need the most expensive things. I think medical care is one of those things where you can save a little money.

Then spend it on something important later on.

Spend it on something else. Yeah, on something important.

Yeah. Okay. Well, Dr. Arroyo, it's been a treat having you on. My pleasure. As a guest, this was not a consult. This was just a... I'm bringing you on.

I was led to believe it was a consultation. I put in a billing for it already. You put in a billing for it? Yes. He did. If you don't mind. He did.

If you don't mind. He just signaled.

Yes. Let me write you a prescription for some There's some pills.

What will that be? How much is that? I've got.

A $20 is fine. A $20 is good.

$20?

$20 is fine. Is that a copay or that's the full- That's the full amount. That's the full amount.

$20. That is the full amount. I'm capable of paying more.

It would hurt me and my clean oath. There you go. It's a dollar change.

So $19.

So much. $19. That's an odd amount. All right.

It's a lot of- This bill is moist. It's wet. Were you in some liquid earlier?

It's seen a lot.

Dr. Arroyo, go with God.

Yes, well, I I try, yeah.

Are you okay now? Can you see yourself out? Do you know how to get- Yes, of course. Do you know how to get home?

Yes, the bus is right there.

Okay. Dr. Arroyo, thank you so much. Thank you.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ofsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Your Wolf. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent Booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kohn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Konan? Call the Team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Konan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. Has been a Team Coco production in association with EarWolf.