Hi, my name is Kristen Wig. And I feel warm about being Konan O'Brien's friend.

Okay, Kristen, I think that's just the temperature in the room.

Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walking loose, climb the fence, books and pens.

I can tell that we are going to be friends.

I can tell that we are going to be friends.

Hey there. Welcome to Konan O'Brien Needs a Friend, joined by my crew. You guys are my crew.

Do we get a say in this?

No, you don't. Okay. You're just my crew. We pull off bank heist on the weekend. Oh, now I'm in. Okay. You're the guy in the van who knows everything about software and open the vault. What do I get to do? Oh, Yeah, David Hopping is here as well. You're the muscle. You're the muscle. Yeah. I'm really strong. Yeah. He said lifting pages. Yes. Whenever we're threatened by lots of security or something, You lift pages of an introduction script. It works every time. And toss it to the side. What's happening in the world of our podcast? I understand there's been some chat on the socials, and we need to address this.

This is what I'm told. For instance, you'll notice that Sona isn't here today for the intro segment of this episode, but she will be for the interview. I think you were saying, That can't happen. I was saying, The audience knows that we record different parts at different times.

Sometimes we record things a little bit out of sync. Mostly we don't, but sometimes we do. You said that this caused a bit of a theory to emerge from someone on the internet.

Who was telling me this? I don't remember who was telling me this, but I think it was on Reddit that there was a discussion going on about whether we change clothes to make it seem like we do everything linearly and in real time.

I love that.

The actual forethought of us bringing in costume changes.

Now, I love that anyone who listens to this podcast regularly thinking that we would put that level of thought or preparation that we would think, Wait a minute, this has to match. We're going to be chatting, but then we'll be talking to Kristen Wig, so you have to put on your Oxford shirt that you were wearing then, and I have to put on my Beekeeper's outfit that we were wearing when we talked to Kristen.

No. No, because this is on YouTube and people can see. But the thing that cracks me up is most of the time you can see that we aren't wearing the same clothes. It's fascinating. David is here with us today, but won't be for the interview and won't be for the third segment.

I would like to point out, I don't do anything for the podcast, but I do change my clothes multiple times a day.

Like an Elton John? Yes.

Have you always done that? Yes. I have nine different outfits, and I have a guy named Scott Cronic who's upstairs. Just for no reason, even when I'm just here and basically doing clerical stuff, we're not even recording. I have as many as nine changes. Oh, my God. Yeah, because I'm in show business. I see. Whatever. You could be a camp. I wouldn't understand. You wouldn't understand. No, I wouldn't. Of course, I know you've been in podcasting for a long time, but you could be a camp counselor. Then you over here, you're not really in show business the way I am. I have to constantly be seen as an iconic entertainer. I have Bob Mackey outfits upstairs. Every now and then, I'll go out to lunch next door, and suddenly I'm wearing a glittery skirt and a feather boa. You change at lunch.

Yeah. You got anything by Botny 500? Yes, I do. Okay. I should add that part of that theory was that they noticed that us back here, we wear the same clothes while you guys are wearing different clothes. Is that right? How did that happen? Right.

They were like, Well, it must be because look, Adam's wearing the same thing, and Eduardo's wearing the same thing, and Blaze's wearing the same thing, but they're wearing something different. Why are you guys always wearing the same stuff?

Are you guys doing costume changes?

Yeah. Maybe you should.

I wish I could afford more clothes.

Oh, for God's sake. What are you doing before Eduardo?

Give him a raise.

Give him a raise. Or fire him so he can get a better paying job. Fire him so he can get a better paying job. No one's doing that one? Here we go. Okay, here comes Adam. Adam is going to join the fray. This is serious. By the way, wearing the same goddamn sweatshirt he every day. Are you like Mr. Rogers? You just have that hanging on a hook here at the studio and you put it on every time? Why are you wearing that same thing every day?

Okay, first of all, I alternate between two hoodies that I keep in my office because it is freezing in the studio. When I'm walking around the hall.

So you have two hoodies. Okay, Zuckerberg, that works for me.

I wear them in here because it's really, really cold, and then I take them off when I get out. But I was searching to try to find this Reddit thread, and I did find it here. I don't know if you have a better reading voice than I do, but you can see what You are wonderful. The Chill Chums record multiple intros a day and switch outfits to look like they're recorded on different days. I was watching the two intros today where Konan confronts Matt about the Mall Walking podcast. At the start of the second intro, Konan says, Today I learned about Matt's podcast, implying that the two intros are filmed on the same day. However, by looking at the video, we see that there are outfits all changed while the crew remained the same. My theory is that they probably record a lot of intros in a day, which is true. It wouldn't make sense of them to only record 15 minutes a week, plus the guest interview anyway.

I have one guess. Yeah. This fan believes 11 people shot Kennedy. Yeah. That's the thinking that takes you down that road.

Here's a peek behind the curtain. For instance, today, it's planned to go on the Kristen Wig episode, but we're dressed in the same clothes if you watch the YouTube clip of the Melinda French Gates interview, because we did that interview today, but we recorded the intro for Kristen Wig.

We know that this is today because this is the day you had the small stroke.

What do you mean by that?

I also love the idea that we're doing this to commit the perfect murder. That's what this leads me to. No one can pin us down. Is that we are shooting things out of sequence and changing outfits so that later on when someone says, Oh, my God, pick anyone. I'm sorry, David. It's going to have to be you. It's fine. But David's been murdered. At We can say, Hey, that day, look, we have footage of us. That was the day Melinda Gates came in, or that was the day, and we're off the hook.

And there's some listener out there with a bear apartment. Yarn. Yes, red yarn and calendar dates and pictures of our costumes, and it's happening.

Don't you think, though, that all the files have dates and times? If they really wanted to find my murderer, they would be like- No, they won't go that far. Can I just say, David- They gave up so quick. David, don't take this personally. I'm about to take it personally? No, don't. But they're going to bag you, tag you, ship you back home, and there will not be much of an investigation. You know what I mean? Sure. Countless young people like you come to the big city. I will invest in it. Your dreams don't work out. Thank you. And then you're just shipped home. Yeah, true crime.

David's murder. Somebody did say- You had a stroke. Yeah, everyone had a stroke.

Why can't- Why can't? Are you okay, buddy? There's something in the air. Are you worried about.

The only thing that surprises me about this is that they change outfits for a mostly audio medium. People are buying into this.

It's not true. No. But I guess me saying it's not true only makes it It stokes the conspiracy. It stokes the conspiracy theory.

That's great, though. Let's let this conspiracy build and rise.

Also, what I do applaud is people paying that much attention. I mean, I do appreciate that our fans are really paying attention.

If we had uniforms, this wouldn't be a problem. That's right. You were supposed to get- I want uniforms, and I will pay for the uniforms if someone can make this happen. Matt's going to design them.

I want us to wear... Again, the inspiration for this came from Jack White and Third Man Records, where Jack has everyone in his entourage wearing these cool outfits. I'm like, That's what we need. We need everyone at Team Coco, Kona Co, whatever we call this thing now. I forget. There's so many entities at Konan Inc. I want everybody wearing a similar outfit, except for me, and I want to wear Admirals epelettes.

Just Admirals Epelettes?

Just Admirals Epelettes. Let's just say.

Okay. Next week, we're not recording. I'll get on this.

Good. We'll have something to see. But why aren't we recording next week?Conspiracy.

Theory.that's right. Because we don't have a costume.

Because Konan's in the Pacific Northwest committing some insane crimes. Committering. Committering. Everyone's got it. Oh, my God. Oh, no. All right. All right. Enough of our Tom foolery and skedadlery. My guest today is a hilarious actress, comedian, and writer you know from Saturday Night Live, Bridesmaids and Barbin Star. Go to Vista Del Mar. She now stars in the new Apple TV Plus series, Palm Royale. I am beyond thrilled. Kristen Wig, welcome. I am I'm so happy that you're here. Oh, thanks. Because I remember when you got cast on SNL and absolutely adoring you and thinking like, I think this is the funiest person I've seen. I say that this will not air. Period. We're going to find another way to block it to all the other SNL people I've talked to, so they never hear that. But you're just so insanely funny. I met you. We had you on the show, and just one time, and we didn't get to really connect again. If nothing else, when I found out that you were going to come in today, I thought, this is my chance to tell you just how blown away I am by you as a performer, singer, songwriter, dancer.

I'm just making up things you don't probably do.

Well, I do do those things.

You're a dancer? Really? A good dancer?

I mean, no. I used to. I've danced. Yes.

You do a character, Gilly, and Gilly has an intro number and does a dance to it. I love good physical comedy, and it's one of my favorite things when you break into... First of all, I think all characters everywhere, I was talking about this with Robert Smigal the other day, and we worked together at SNL, and we were talking about... Love Robert. Yeah, I like him fine. But we We were talking about a sketch that we wrote for Tom Hanks called Mr. Short-term Memory, and how we insisted, this is like 1988, that no, it has to have a theme song. I remembered Lauren was like, No, it doesn't need a... The sketches don't have theme song openings, and we said, no, it has to. We had a whole animated opening where Tom Hanks' character gets hit by a pair sitting under a pair tree.

Wait, it was animated?

Yeah, he's sitting under Mr. Short-term Memory. He never should have sat under that pair tree. Now he has no memory, but he'll never know, and you'll love him, whatever. He'll frustrate you so because he's Mr. Short term. Anyway, we wrote this whole theme song, and I always thought, I think it should be a law that all sketch characters have a ridiculous theme song that wastes time.

It's a good way to get rid of the nerves, I got to say.

That's a great-Oh, yes.

Yeah, because you're like dancing and shaking, and then you're like, Okay, I don't know, because it's obviously a very nerve-wracking job.

Yeah, it is a nerve-wracking job. You wouldn't know it looking at your performances. But I remember you doing the gilly dance, and the dance incorporates maybe nine different, very distinct moves that probably aren't supposed to all go together. Probably not. It's so funny. Thank you. It's so funny.

That means a lot coming from you, Konan.

Well, I appreciate that, but I I was your body of work on SNL alone, just not even getting into your other tremendous work, is crazy. You're so prolific. Then to hear you say, well, it gets out the nerves. I think it is nice for people listening and probably revelatory that they hear, Kristen Wig has nerves.

Oh, my God. Yes. I think I would be worried about myself if I didn't, especially with SNL because it's live. Yeah, you feel like you want to throw up for every show. I always say the good thing is because you have dress rehearsal, so you know what works. But you know there could be things that work in dress, and then you're waiting for some giggle, and then it's silent during the air. That It happens all the time.

A false positive.

Oh, there's nothing worse.

Well, actually, in medicine, it's a very good thing sometimes. You're not dying. Sometimes it works out, but a It's all positive in comedy. What would happen sometimes, it's rare, but something can really do well at dress. Usually doesn't happen, but it's a different crowd. Then what happens is they do the air show, and the air show, sometimes, that's when all the executives got their friends in. Lauren has some pals there. Just a lot of people are coming in, and so they're a different crowd, maybe a little more entitled. Maybe they've seen the show a bunch.

It's just such a different... I remember Charles Barkley was hosting, and I wrote a sketch with Gillian Bell, and it was for the writers room. It got the best reaction I've ever had in the history of the time that I was there. People were clapping. We're Oh, this is going to be a really great sketch. And when I tell you, when we went to dress, and you know when the first joke comes out and that's the sketch, so if they're not going to laugh at that, you've got about, it feels like 18 minutes of silence. It was so silent. And I was just looking at other people in the sketch, Andy and Bill, they're looking at me laughing. This is going so… It was just absolutely silent. I couldn't even predict that that was going to happen. But it's good also because then it keeps you on your toes. You don't expect certain things. But the way that it bombed was just for the books.

I wrote a sketch, same thing for Phil Hartman. This is way back in the day, and he played this character, Mace. He was really tough and talked really fast. He was Mace, and he had done it at the groundlings, and it was this, You're listening to me and you're listening to me good. Whoever the host was, and I don't remember, but the male host gets put in a prison cell with him, and the male host, whoever it was, has Mace as his cellmate. Mace comes on as so tough and hard, and you're not going to make it, buddy boy. You're me. I'm the king of this. Then, the way in those cells, it's just an exposed toilet. It comes time, they're both there for a while. Then it's clear that Mace has to use the toilet, but he's embarrassed about using it in front of the other guy in this very shy human way. He's putting little pieces of toilet paper down. He's trying to do it when the other guy's back is turned. Whenever the guy turns back, he goes like, You keep looking the other way, buddy boy. It was just all about this very common- That's so funny to me.

No. We did this thing. We read it at read-through, and tile was coming off the ceiling. People were laughing so hard. It's over, and the applause, and people coming up, and Lauren actually making eye contact, and I'll give you a gold coin. You're just feeling amazing. Then dress rehearsal, and it starts. Then there's the first thing, which is the whole sketch where you realize that Mace wants to use the toilet, the toughest guy in the world, and silence. Silence. I remember I had called everybody. You know, Am I going to have a sketch? You did? Oh, of course I did. Of course, I did, Kristen. A whole other level. Because I'm a writer, and I'm like, Tune in because you all thought I didn't have it. Well, you're going to see a sketch tonight with Phil Hartman called me. Watch this. Watch this. And then just absolute silence. And then that thing where they say the last line, Well, that's the way it goes. Long pause. Then the band, and no applause. And then you don't even have to go in to the room. You know it's never going to make air. You want to do an autopsy afterwards and find out.

Why did it work there and not... Maybe there's something about seeing it as opposed to just reading it. I still don't know.

Also, as you know, I just gave it up at a point and said, there's magic to this. Sometimes the magic is there. Sometimes it's not. I give up. I can't explain it. There's no reason. Yeah.

Well, that's probably why a little bit of the nerves, too, because you don't know what the audience is, if they're in a good mood or if their thing is going to work.

But also it's interesting to me. I don't care who you are or what your track record is. You are always potentially 10 seconds away from the worst humiliation of your life.

Of course. I almost feel like the more you've done it, then, I don't know, you're Well, I'm due for something.

You know what fascinated me about you is that you were not someone who was aggressively doing improv and trying to act when you were a kid, right?

No, it wasn't really in my atmosphere at all. There was no talk of like, Do you want to go to a theater? Nobody was doing that where I lived.

That's for me, too.

Yeah. It just wasn't thing. I would always look at like, I'm dating myself, a teen beat or a bop, whatever that bop. Was it bop? It couldn't have just been bop. Tiger Beat. Tiger Beat. Bop. There was a bop, something bop. There was a bop. But like those It was in the magazines, and it just looked so far away and like, Oh, you have to live in California. That's just a different planet. I just didn't even think about it. I think deep down, I always dreamed about it, but I thought, Doesn't everybody? I don't know. Exactly.

It just wasn't something I- I relate 1,000% to what you're saying, which is I'm thinking about this, and I'm doing some shtick in the mirror by myself.

Were you reading Tiger Beat as well?

I was reading- He was reading Bop. I was Writing letters to Scott Bayo.

Dear Scott Bayo. That's such a tchatchy crush.

Didn't we all? I still write them. But I It wasn't in my world. I think what the internet has done, you can be in the tiniest little spot in Kansas, and you can do something funny, and it can get a lot of positive feedback. I think that's terrific. Before that, there were people like me, long before you, when I was a kid, doing stick in front of the mirror and takes and absorbing stuff on television and in movies that I saw, doing it in front of the mirror, but then thinking, yes, this is what all sad little boys I got to go to soccer practice.

Yeah.

Or I don't know. No soccer for me. Art class? My Paleontology Club. Hello, fellows. Anyone? But yeah, there was nothing. I did like little...

I was like a munchkin in the Wizard of Oz in the back. Just because my friends were doing it, but it wasn't But it's not like you could put that on a resume. No.

I tried. Number one, munchkin. When I first came to LA and you needed a resume, I'm like, Well, maybe I should write this on here. You did. Another thing we have in common is I graduate college and I come out to LA, I immediately tried to get into the Groundlings into an acting class. That's where I met the world of people, improvisers. In 1985, I would tell people, Yeah, I want to do improv, and most people didn't know what I was talking about.

I wouldn't have, yeah. I didn't even know what it was when I came out here. Someone was like, You got to go to the Groundlings. I think you'd like that. I'd never seen improv before. Then I remember my first show, Jennifer Coolidge was in it, Mike Hitchcock, and they did improv, and I was like, Oh, I think I want to do that. I want to try that. Then I just signed up. But I knew sketch, obviously, from SNL, but improv, I didn't even know that was a thing.

Yeah, that's I met Lisa Kudrow. That's where I met just so many incredibly talented people, and I thought, Okay, this is proof to me. I love getting up on that stage. It's a really small stage. It's an equity waiver theater, 99 C, but it's where, as I said, Phil Hartman came from there, Paul Rubens. The list of people- Will Farrell. Will Farrell. He left the Groundings and was never heard from again. But the list is, I can't even begin to list it. It's insane how many people That place changed my life for sure. You're up there, you're doing the Groundlings, and are you working a regular day job while you're doing that? What are you doing? Yes.

What are you doing? I had many a day job. My favorite was I worked in a floral design studio. I did floral arrangements. Oh, my God. I was a server. I worked at Universal Studios in the executive dining room.

Oh, wow. I used to work there and eat in that. Well, not the executive one.

Yeah, the nicer one were the Yeah, with the executive tape.

I couldn't get in that place.

But it's funny because I see people and I'm like, Hey, I waited on you.

That's so funny. I know. I had this conversation the other day where I I do it just because this is how my mom taught me to be, which is I really try to be nice to anyone who's serving me. But also way in the back of my mind is they will be in control of show business in three years. You know what I mean? So many people have later come up to me and said, Yeah, when I was... Jennifer Garner waited on me. Oh, how cool. When she was... And this is years after she became a star. She just had a terrible gambling addiction. I don't think so. No. People were like, Jennifer Garner. No, there was a place where you could get brunch on the Upper West Side, and I was doing the late night show. She said I came in once, and she said I came in once. She said I was nice and everything, but then I then started to read the paper. It's like, No, we really need that table. She remembered this years later, and I was so embarrassed. You never know- You never know. Who's going to be there.

I know. I love that job. That was a good job. Which one? The Universal. I liked it. It was like a 11:00 to 1:00. You had regular tables. You got to see exciting people. My best friend worked there.

What's funny is when you're on, you're on, and you're absolutely stupendous. But I bet, I'm just guessing that when you were waiting on people, you weren't giving them any hint that that comedy was on the horizon for you.

Is that fair? Yeah. I don't know. I was trying to be very professional in my job, but occasionally, I would say dumb things and walk away and be like, What am I doing? Because it was like I was waiting on huge people and I would get nervous. But there wasn't really room for... I don't know. I didn't really yuck it up.

Well, no. What I'm saying is during one of my fallow periods as a writer, and I didn't have any work, I took a job at a temp agency, and then I was just typing up documents and filing things and worked there for a month. At the end, I said, Well, actually, my job started up again, so I'm going to go back. She said, What are you doing? I said, I'm a comedy writer. She said, You're a comedy writer? She wasn't being mean. No, I totally understand that. She just said, I'm quiet, I'm efficient. Because I just thought I had this weird ability to put that away.

I have the exact same. I am not the person at a dinner party that will tell this big, elaborate, funny story. I'm quiet. There have been people who were surprised that That's what I did. Yeah.

But I talk about this a lot. There are people in comedy who are fairly perpetually on. I sadly know that I am one, much to the irritation of those around me. But you've been out with me in the world, Sona, and you will attest that I'll freely do 20 minutes of shtick for anybody if they so desire. You saying that boss didn't know that you were a comedy writer. I don't even know how you would go a month without doing bits at any work environment. He's relatively medicated. Okay, that makes sense. That makes sense. That's cool.

You were back in the bathroom doing him in the mirror. Yeah, exactly.

He's been in the bathroom for 40 minutes.

He's laughing a lot. What's he doing?

I hear a lot of laughing and giggling. My wife, to this day, says she'll sometimes hear... She goes to bed a little before me, but sometimes she doesn't fall right asleep, and she'll hear me in the bathroom, and I'm like, Now she hear you. I'll get you, see. What the fuck? You did six things today. That It should all be out of your system.

That's just rude that you might even just wake her up, not that it's just weird.

Oh, come on.

Yes, you shake her.

She wears a giant earmup. Hey, wake up. I just thought of a new guy. He's called Wake You Up guy. He wakes people up who were sound asleep. But some of my favorite people, and you are on this list yourself, Steve Martin, when it's time to go, they go and they're flawless and they're great. Then If someone invites them to a party, they think, Wait a this guy, or wait a that's going to be a something. It's like, Well, no, that's not who I am.

Yeah, I've had people interview me that are disappointed. No, I'm being serious. When I was on SNL, I remember there were a couple interviews. It was the beginning, I was nervous, and I hadn't done a lot of interviews and stuff, and I think they were like, huh? I don't know if they expected me to talk in voices or Yes. But I'm also nervous. I don't know. I think people were like, She's not that funny.

Well, the other thing is, what's insane is that what you do, sometimes they think people believe that, well, if you're a plumber, you can just come and you can fix the plumbing. Oh, yeah. They think, oh, we'll get a comedian to come and he'll just do the comedy thing, and then everyone's going to love that, and then we'll move on to the really serious funeral service. I'm always asking a million questions, like how big is the room? Who's at this thing? Then I have to try and tailor it to what is this situation? Sometimes it's just, no, there shouldn't be any comedy here. I often think that an interview format, like one of my favorite people growing up, Peter Sellers. Me, too. Just brilliant. Then I'm so fascinated with him, and I've read all these books on Peter Sellers, and all the information that comes back is he was devastatingly funny when he's in a movie or when he's doing his performances on The Goon Show or whatever he was doing. Then he was just blinking and looking around the room when he was at a party, and he always carried a little camera with him because he was interested in cameras.

He would explain his camera to you at great length. But people wanted Inspector Clouseau at the party. Totally, yeah. And he's not going to do that unless he's highly paid.

Right, exactly.

That's what you want to do is you want to be paid. Snl, obviously, was It must have been so clear to you that that's where you belonged.

For me, it was where I wanted to be and where I love the puzzles you have to put together at that show. When it's that meeting between dress and air and you have to take off a minute of your sketch. I love that, trying to figure things out and what jokes can go. I don't know. I love that, I don't know, how my brain works, all that stuff. The writers there, When I was there in the cast, I was so lucky. I don't know, it just felt like didn't feel like work in a way. But I knew when I got there, I was like, I'm going to be here for seven years. I didn't want to go longer than that. I don't know why. I just felt like when you get there, you feel like you're walking into someone else's living room like everyone else knows each other so well. Yes.

It's high school. It's a scary high school. It is. I'm not putting it down. No. When I talk about SNL, sometimes people misinterpret it and say, It was frightening, terrifying in some ways. Also, I wouldn't change a thing.

Yeah, it's not like anyone was mean, everyone was so nice, but it's like you're going to a new school and everyone's been there forever. As soon as I got there, I was like, The moment I feel totally comfortable here is when I have to go. Because I feel there's something about the energy of that place and what you need to produce and how you need to always be, I don't know, people watching on that Sunday that you're off. I don't know. I just felt like there's something about that place where you just need to be a little uncomfortable. Does that make sense?

Yes, it does. Well, there's that old analogy that I think is so perfectly true, which is the oyster You need a little bit of sand in the oyster to make the pearl. You need the irritant. I just think many times in life, I've been uncomfortable and not and nervous, and something really good came out of it.

Yeah, and that's when you're really proud of yourself and you're like, Wow, I did that. And thank God it's over. Not a Sanella. That was very hard for me to leave.

Well, I mean, it's ridiculous to even try to go through all the characters, but do you have a favorite? I know you've been mentioned before, but is there someone who really speaks to you? I mean, there's so many. I mean, the first time I saw Denise, the prosthetic forehead and doll hands. I told you I love Gilly, but her dance and Penelope and Jesus Christ.

I feel like my favorite one, honestly, was someone I did an update, not even a ton of time, but her name was aunt Linda. Yes, aunt Linda.

She was- The eye rolling alone.

Yes, because she was based on someone that was on a plane. Remember back in the day, they would show there'd be one screen, and they'd be like, the movie's starting, and then you'd have to put your head… It would just start at that time.

You didn't get your own personal one.

You didn't get your own one. It was The Matrix. She was so confused.

The matrix on a plane.

She was just like, What? She's like, Why is he flying? She was like,. She was so loud, and I was listening to her and writing down things she was saying. She's like, Now we're flying. She was so upset and confused, and it just made me laugh. I did that at the Groundings, which also made it feel better when I got it on SNL. We tried it the way that I wrote it at the Groundings, but it didn't work in a scene because- No, it was so smart. It just didn't work because Lauren was like, I think people would be walking away from you constantly. It didn't work.

Putting her at the update desk. And her job, my favorite thing, it's akin a bit to, I'm a wealthy society woman, and I want someone to set up my home beautifully for the big party. I've hired the three stooches. And three idiots who have no qualifications show up with saws and hammers and smashed the whole house. What I love is they hired you to review films. And it's perfect because you have nothing but disdain. You don't seem to understand the movies. No. You just want to make a wise crack and It's just absolutely hilarious. Also, it looked like you had all the different takes that you would do, the sarcastic takes that you would do.

I think the ones that you can have a little more fun with, and it is different every time, are always more fun, I think, than the ones that are very rigid in how they react to stuff. I don't know if that makes sense.

Yes. If your character has one... I remember at the Groundlings, there was just this pressure. When I was there, you could see every student thought they had to have a catchphrase. Oh, really? Well, that was just a phase. I think it was all because John Lovitz had blown up as the liar on SNL. That's the ticket. Having a catchphrase, and Dana then blew up as church lady. Of course, there was a lot more of those characters, but their catchphrases were really huge. Isn't that special?

Yeah, that's true.

And so I just remember characters coming in, trying out scenes, and everybody was like, Yeah, that's a flap Jack. I'd buy.

Looking right out to the audience.

Right out to the audience. And then they'd say it two more times. Lisa Kudrow used to get mad at me because she said, You sit there at rehearsal and people are trying this stuff out, and you have your head in your hands.

Oh, God.

And she said, They can fucking see you. I'm I'm like, I'm sorry. That's a flap Jack. I could buy.

Was that a real one?

No. I know there was someone- You could use it if you want. I know. I was like, I saw you writing it down. People had ticks. They slapped their thigh on. Slap your thigh, cough twice. It just looked like a Tourette's convention for a while there. But one thing that I liked so much about the work that you did at SNL, and then again, you brought that to Bridesmaids, is you can go so quiet. You can be so small, and it's perfect. I think it's one of the reasons I get drawn in. You're not trying to blow me off the roof with your comedy a lot of times. You can go big, but you also can go very small. Then that was one of the things I thought that made Rides Made so special was how quiet things could be. Doing that comedy, it's like this little porcelain comedy that's beautiful. I don't know. I was just great. That's wow.

Thank you for saying that.

I don't know that it means anything. I've never really been in a movie.

It does. It means a lot.

Very poetic little porcelain.

I know.

It is. I like that. I just think that many people can come from a situation like the Groundings or SNL and think that you win when you go really big all the time. I just loved it as a fan of yours that you're able to do that.

Thanks.

That's all the time we have. There's no way to go after that.

I don't know what to say.

Well, I want to say one thing that is about improv. Okay, yeah. I'm wondering if you agree with this. There's so many people who say to me, improv is such a scary thing. I prefer improv. There's no preparation. You just show up on the day.

That's the thing. There's no... Exactly. You can't say the line wrong. Exactly. Sometimes you It depends on what it is, but when I'm watching improv, I get more nervous because I'm like, What are they going to say? Or what would I say? Or, Oh, God.

And fear for the person.

Exactly. But when you're doing it, you're like, Oh, I'm just responding. As long as I know who the character is, I'm just talking.

Yeah. There's something very, I don't know, just liberating about it. I love when they tell me.

And you don't have to prepare. It's just you just go. That's the best part. There's no memory. I was curious, did you do Target Lady at Groundings, or was that something that you came up with?

Yes, I did. Oh, you did? Yes. Okay. Yes.

Those, I think, were the only two that I did there that got on the show.

Did you ever get any money from Target? No. Because I've been working on a character called ExxonMobil guy.

I know. You got to think it's United Airlines. What do we use?

Look to me. I'm Lamborghini guy. Hey, I'm Lamborghini guy. Sona, has there been any call from the Lamborghini people? Yes, cease and desist. Hey, I'm Lamborghini. Hey, I'm a Porsche man. What? It's a German car. Why are you Italian? I don't know. I didn't think about it.

That's the hook.

Hey, baby, I'm Sam Rolex. What? Yeah. Sam. His name is Sam Rolex? Yeah, we're a Rolex. These are characters I'm just thinking because- That you've been working on for a long time. Yes. I thought I was doing something wrong. Clearly, you hit it with target lady. I'm going to, I'm Bill Ozempic.

Bill, Sam.

Oh, you don't think I'm good at coming up with good funny first names. I think Sam's- It's funny.

It's funny because it's- Jesus. Because it's him.

I regret working with you on this thing. I really thought we would just click together and make an amazing commercial that would make me a lot of money. Thank you. You didn't think you'd be apologizing when you came here to talk to me. Here because we apologize to Konan for not earning him more money. Well, we won't give it away, but I was going to bring up your guys link because you guys live in a similar neighborhood, a similar environment. But we won't say we're on Catalina Island.

That's right. Yes. Oh, my God. Today was rough getting here.

I'm still sea sick.

I bought you a seaplane. Oh, I sold it.

Immediately.

Yeah, he doesn't pay us.

He pays us in planes.

You see him… Which I thought was very- What planes, Konan?

What planes?

Don't you like your three winged 1917 plane? Oh, I love it. I fly it all the time. Sam Plane. Sam Plane. My name's Sam Plane.

There we go. There it is.

This is good stuff.

It's just plain.

It's not a company. It's just a plane. I never said I was a good writer. I just managed to be a writer. When you left SNL, it was... I don't know. It was like everybody took a moment. It was such a nice send off. But I think your plan was to do seven years really, really superbly and then get out on a high note. And because you did that, you had this glorious send off. Colin Jost.

I wrote that and didn't even think it was going to make it. We were rushing. We didn't know for sure. It's a moment I'll never forget. It took me, I think, a year maybe to watch it. I understand that. Yeah, it was very hard, but it was the most beautiful way to go. I mean, it meant so much to me that we did it.

But also all those stars participating. Oh, my gosh, I know. I know. Mick Jagger was It was crazy. Mick Jagger sang you off with Ruby Tuesday.

And Dave Grohl, who was the musical guest on my very first show, which I thought was cool.

Steve Martin, Jon Ham.

And Arcade Fire was… Right? Arcade Fire.

I didn't memorize it.

Okay. I'm sorry.

But I understand that it's bitter sweet to leave that experience, but if you're going to do it, that's the way to do It was hard.

I couldn't watch the show for a while after I left because it's such an adjustment, as you know, when you're there, it's not just this job you left. It's the building that you spend 20 hours a day in. You've had the best experiences. You've laughed, you've cried, it's your family, and you're just there, just physically, many hours of the day. And sing about Lauren was really hard. It was your life.

I did a couple of season in SNL, and then I leave and I go to the Simpsons. Then I come back for late night and do that for 16 years. So if you added up, it was 20 years in that building. And then I'm out here in LA for a while. And then, I was like two years or something. Some time passed, not too long, and I was going to go on Howard Stern, and I came back to New York, and I walked up by Rockefeller Center, and I was hit by every emotion you can have. And I'm very Irish and very proud of the fact that I don't experience emotions or acknowledge them, or I can sublimate them so much that I only realized later on that it came out of my sweat or something. You smell sad. When I passed that building and I had every feeling that I had of ecstasy, sadness, terror, love, everything came back and was almost too powerful. Then I went right in to talk to Howard Stern, and he's chatting with me. I He was like my therapist, and that's what we talked about.

Also because knowing that it hasn't changed. There's something else about leaving a job and maybe those people aren't there anymore. That building's gone. But everything is the same. You go back now, it's the same doors, it's the same paint. It's the same. The crew, it's mostly the same. I think knowing that it's still existing is, I don't know, pulls on you a little more because I'm like, I'm not there.

Right. There's part of... I I can't speak for you, but there's part of me, a tyrannical tyrant in my brain that's thinking, It all should have stopped when I left. They should have taken the building down. What's the point of going on? No, I understand that's very sad, but Egyptian pharos had the same That's a great idea. But I remembered when I took over the late night show for Letterman, Letterman, in his first year, one night said to Paul, Can you believe they're over there doing our show? I remembered at the time thinking, Oh, that was his apartment, and now I'm in it, and he still feels like it's his apartment, and these new kids are in there breaking stuff. That's a great way to put it. That's how it can feel sometimes a little bit. You make it so much your own, and then you have to leave. Then, of course, other people move in and do things differently, but brilliantly. That's how it is. Just keep moving.

Keep moving, people.

That's your new character. Keep moving. Keep moving, people. With Porsche. Okay, that's better.

That is better. That's actually a great little- Keep moving with Porsche.

I will share. I won't share.

Well, we could do the commercials together.

Okay, but would we split the money? What would the split be?

I mean, I would assume 50/50, but are you having other thoughts?

Matt and I are here, too. No, you're not really here. We're not here? No, I don't see you. I have glaucoma in my right so I don't have peripheral vision. I left your spine. But I see you perfectly. I'm going to say you've had more experience in film. Yeah, we're talking. You're arguably the bigger deal. I would accept a 70/30 with you getting to 70. I mean, you're a big deal.

I think you're a big deal. I'll drive.

I want to talk about the latest project because I've watched the first episode. Oh, good. Of Pamreya. I was watching it with David Hopping, who's the assistant who filled in for Sona, has done a brilliant job. Took over. Really took over. I did okay. No, no, no. I trained him. The point here is not about you, Sona. The point is, saw the first show, an insane cast, absolutely brilliant cast. It's madness. You've got Laura Dern, Allison Janie, Carol Burnet, Ricky Martin, who's great.

Oh, my gosh. They're all...

The first thing that struck me is this thing. You're fantastic, as always, and it's like, of course, but what's amazing is the look of it, too. It takes place in 1969. I don't know what they did, but it's got this saturated retro color to it that is fantastic. I haven't seen a show look like that. It's almost like confection. Yeah.

Our production designer, John Carlos, was just like, I don't even... His attention to detail. There would be a fish tank, and he would specifically pick the color of the fish to go in the fish tank to match the room, everything. He worked with Alex Friedberg, our costume designer.

The costumes are- The costumes are incredible.

But they work together as far as what room they were. I mean, everyone does that, but really down to patterns and details and what chair they're sitting on. I mean, it was unlike I've never seen anything like that.

I think it's why it works is that you have the performers are all so good that they can overcome how stunning it is to look at, meaning I think a lesser performers would get lost. I mean, I was watching it and I was noticing that there's a scene where Allison Janney is talking and her sunglasses, which are so vintage 1969 and so big. You would love it, Matt, because It's all this very cool period stuff. Her glasses match, are very loud, but beautifully match her insane 1969 outfit. Then it all blends in with all this color that's happening in the background. I noticed myself thinking, Every now and then when something's just produced so well, I think, Man, these people know what they're doing. They really do. Because I always came from even the lesser child of an SNL, which was, Let's crank out one of these a night. And so put a bear bear head on him from the bear head room. We didn't light things. We did the best we could, but it was vaudville every night. I'm always blown away when I watch things. I've never been in the world of them using a light meter to measure exactly how my face is going to look the best because no one gives a shit.

But there's so many people, like props, just looking around any of the sets and just seeing all the little things and why that's part of this person's character. I don't even think the camera even sees this stuff. But every day we would just walk on the set, and then the actors, of course, would come and you'd see what they were wearing. It was like five minutes of just talking about that.

It would be hard not to steal some of those outfits. No, no. Oh, this from the admitted shop.

I didn't steal anything.

I don't steal.

I ask.

How come you can't say that as yourself. You were doing a character.

Well, because...

I've never committed l'arcener.

Well, just say it as yourself. I mean, I shoplifted when I was a kid, but I would never steal as an adult. I'm looking forward to seeing the rest of the episodes. It just looks great. And like, Mindy Cohn is in it, and Julia Duffy, who is hilarious. Josh Lucas, Leslie Bibb. Yes, we got very lucky.

I have a hard time believing you wouldn't have fun, even though you get nervous. This just looks like you would have a really good time. We had the best time.

Yeah. That cast, it was just every day. I mean, it was a long shoot because it's 10 episodes. They're an hour each. It was like six and a half months, I think, shooting. But yeah, it was great.

And not a bad location to be shooting in. Yeah.

Good I'm called LA. It was amazing. To be able to go home after work was the dream. Yeah.

What's the worst location you've been in? Does it come to mind?

The worst? Oh, that's tough. I've liked everywhere I've gone. It's pretty good. Yeah.

I would think I've always wanted to do... I mean, I think Adam Sandler is a genius because he's made two-thirds of his movies in his favorite beach in Maui. It doesn't matter. It can be the story of Abraham Lincoln. It's Lincoln like, Well, I might go to Washington be President, but first I got to get this coconut open.

So smart.

He knows what he's doing.

He does.

Well, congratulations on Pamreol. And, Kristin, it is just a super honor to talk to you because you're off the charts talented and one of those people who I watch you and I think, I don't understand how she can do this so consistently well, but I'm very happy that you're out there doing it. Thank you.

And I would like to tell you, I think you're one of the best in what you do. And When I heard I was coming on here, I got very excited because you are such a comedic genius to so many people, and I just think you're amazing. Oh, boy. I'm going to keep that in there. Okay.

Well, here's the thing that'll keep me up at night. One of the best. Oh, God. Yes. All I need to do is find one little scene.

You know what's not just one of the best? Portia.

Yes. A driving machine.

She also She said to so many people, she didn't say herself. Just write that down as well.

People are people I know wanted me to tell.

All right, Kristen, thank you so much. Thank you.

Let's do some voicemails. Let's do a voicemail.

What's wrong with the first one?

Because we're not doing more than one.

Okay. Both of them sounded horrible.

Can the doctor also check Gourly?

I keep begging a neurologist to diagnose me, and then I think while they're here, they can check out Gourly. Yes, voicemail it is. Let's have at it.

Eduardo.

Hi, Konan. My name is Rebecca, And I live in Worcester, Massachusetts, which I know you're very familiar with, right?

I actually am listening to you right now, and I paused the episode because I got so excited. You said that your new podcast facility has as a birthing center in it, and I am 34 weeks pregnant. I'm due on March 15th, which is about five weeks away. I didn't know if maybe since you are a doula, I could be the first person to give birth in your new facility. Thanks for considering that.

Bye-bye. Well, I have a lot to say. First of all, congratulations, Rebecca. My greeting to everyone in Worcester, Massachusetts. That is the town in South Central, Massachusetts, where pretty much my entire family is from on both sides. I still have a lot of family in Worcester. So many of my father, uncles all went to Holy Cross College. Worcester looms large in my memory and in my heart. Rebecca, when I said that there was a birthing center here at the Larchmont Studios, I was lying. There isn't an actual birthing center. I apologize. I think I got off on one of my crazy riffs or tangents. Maybe I was talking in an aspirational way. Do you recall me saying we had a birthing center? It was with Kelly Quoca. Yeah. Who said we had a birthing center? Was it myself? Well, it doesn't matter. But this recording studio used to be at O B. G. Wyatt. Wasn't it? No.

We were just making a joke on Kelly Quoca.

No, it was an office. It was a place where people met and did business. I'm talking before Jane Club. Wait a minute. This is interesting. Adam Sacks is getting on, Mike. Adam, tell us what the story is.

When we got the space, it was immediately before us was the Jane Club, which was a co-working space for working moms, a we work for working moms. There was a childcare area where working moms could bring their kids. But before that, I think it was owned my understanding, owned by an OB/GYN who worked, obviously, crazy hours around the clock. This actual studio before we moved in here was shaped like, if you remember, it was octagonal in shape. It had padded walls, and they wanted it to be soundproofed and black and quiet so that when the doctor came home, she could sleep at any time.

Oh, it wasn't for pregnant women. No, it was a personal home. It was for the doctor, the OB/GYN, to be able to sleep because she kept strange hours. Got it. But either way, I think there was a very nurturing energy in this room, and we've carried that forward. Can't any room be a birthing room? Do you really need the sterile stuff? Can it just... Excuse me. We just consult 180 years of proven medical history. Let's see, Dr. Lister. Yeah. No, you need a sterile environment. You know Well, I mean, what about there's a lot of women who just can't wait till they get to the hospital. We can be that space. Say, do you want to give birth in an area that reminds you of giving birth in a hotel lobby? You can come here where nothing is sterile. If What you're basically saying is someone should make a plan to come here and have a baby in an unsterile environment? Yeah. I mean, if that's how we're going to do it- No, Rebecca, listen, first of all, I'm thinking of you and this birth is coming on March 15th, but you should definitely not have your baby here at our Larchmont facility.

It is not a sterile environment. And in fact, boy, are we slobs? I mean, right? No. What? We are. It's very nice and neat here. No, there's a kitchen right here. But also, Erica Brown runs a very tight ship. If she sees you leave a glass, and it doesn't matter if it's you or anybody, she'll make you pick it up. That's true, but I'm constantly knocking food out of your hands, so there's probably crumbs everywhere. There are. Maybe stop so people could have babies here. That's finally a good reason for me not to knock food-Thank you. Out of a grown woman and mother of two's hands. Yes, thank you. It's something that we could look into because we do have, well, no, we're pretty much using every room here now. I don't think there's a space in this facility that we could convert into a birthing room.

But how would you feel about being a doula? Because I think Rebecca mentioned that you- I'm cool with that. So you could be there present at birth, helping women deliver.

Listen, I was quite present and involved in the birth of both of my children. I think I'm a natural doula. I did shriek the whole time and had to be physically restrained by orderlies. But other than that, I think I'm I'd be a fine doula. Terrible. What are you talking about? I'd be cracking them jokes and doing bits. Oh, and delivering the baby as a character. Yeah, I'm an old gold minor. That's part of it. But also, you're very squamish about female bodies, and you're just so repressed that you'd be like, Do I have to look at your vagina when it comes out? I wouldn't be near the vagina, just where the baby comes out.

What? Do you know how it works? The stork shoot.

Yeah. Just a door. What Where's the door? Upper middle back. I blacked out for both babies, and then that's what they told me later on, that's what happened. It's a mahogany door. It's got a little- Drawn on in magic marketing. Yeah, it's got a little knocker. Door opens and the baby walks out wearing a top hat and says, Let the life begin.

I actually don't have the heart to break it to you. Let's go with that.

That's good. I think that's a better story. I'm sticking with Okay. Anyway, any birth that involves a mahogany door between the shoulder blades, I'm fine with. But I'm not getting near any vagina. That's not happening, Rebecca. That's not happening, Rebecca. Anyway, Rebecca, thinking of you and your new arrival, and very happy for you. Peace out.

Konan O'Brien needs a friend. With Konan O'Brien, Sonam of Cessian and Matt Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, nick Cleo, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Ear Wolf. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our Supervising producer is Erin Blair, and our Associate Talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and Mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brenda Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnik. Talent Booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batiste, Gina Batista and Brit Kohn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Konan? Call the Team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. If you haven't already, please subscribe to Konan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.