Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco. Com/call-conan. Okay, let's get started.

And here's Chris. I'm Chris. I'm here.

Hi, Chris.

Welcome to Conan O'Brien. Hi, guys. Hey, Chris. How are you? I can't believe I'm here. I'm doing very well.

Well, tell us, Chris, first of all, nice to meet you. Where are.

You right now? Pleasure is all mine. I'm in Chico, California.

Oh, cool. All right. Very good. Yeah, that's all right. Chico, California. Oh, look at your books behind you. You got World War II, the Civil War. We could be friends, you and I. We have.

Similar interests. I can tell. You're always talking about at the end of your show, you're like, We're friends on the podcast. We're not friends outside. I got a gut feeling we'd be friends in real life without question or doubt.

Well, first of all, I love you. You got some red in your hair. You got the cool stash.

I like the mustache right there. Thank you. It's nice. And you got a good broadcaster voice. You got a.

Very good voice. I appreciate that. Thank you, Conan.

Yeah. What's your profession? Are you a guy that does the- I am a paramedic. Oh, you're a paramedic. Oh, my God.

Yeah.

I.

Very much like to be a broadcaster, but no, I'm a paramedic for now.

Oh, yeah. You're only saving lives right now. Yeah. You're really-.

You guys help more people than I do, I'm sure.

Chris, let me assure you what you're doing is so much cooler than any broadcaster I know. That is very cool. Tell us what it's like to be What's it like to be a paramedic? Tell us about it.

It's very rewarding at times. It is the biggest compliment I receive in my life is being welcomed into a stranger's home during their time of need. Oh, wow. And the only way I can repay that is by doing my best. Okay. Is extremely rewarding at times, and at times it is absolutely difficult. Very difficult.

Well, when you first show up, you go in the room, let's say you enter the house, you go in, and I guess the first job is to try and ascertain what is wrong with this person, right?

Yeah. Why did you call 911 today? Okay. I always introduce myself if it's available as a paramedic, and I say, Hi, how are you doing? What made you call 911 today? Are you in any pain? What's going on? And we have to go down the route of is it a medical problem or is it a traumatic problem? And then from there, we treat, diagnose the best we're ability and transfer them to the appropriate hospital.

First of all, it sounds like you're very calm in these situations, right?

I am. I'm more nervous about this than I have ever been. They're like, There's blood everywhere on the radio. I'll just be calm as a cucumber. Lisa was just telling me, Conan is on at two and I'm sweating.

Okay. All right. Well, listen, maybe you need a paramedic. You should call someone right now. Why did you call 911? I'm on the phone with Conan and Brian. It made me nervous. That's right.

I won't be the first. I won't be.

The last. Okay, you are a paramedic and you go and you don't have to call me, sir. Just call me Admiral. You go into their home and let's say you notice, Okay, this person's got a real problem and you put them in the ambulance and then you take them to the emergency room. Do you just drop them off then? Or is there a hand-off to the trauma surgeon?

How does that work? There is a hand-off report. The handoff report is one of the most valuable things I can provide on most calls. I have access to the patient's house, I have access to the side of the road, I can see what happened to the patient, I can see their living circumstances, and I can tell them to the nurse and doctor as well. I'm usually, as the paramedic, I work alongside an EMT. The EMT, generally speaking, is the one that drives and assists me while we're not driving, and I'm in the back and I provide a higher level of care. I provide IV therapy, cardiac monitor, and I have a list of medications I can give if appropriate.

What?

I didn't know the difference.

We go to an.

Appropriate hospital. There are different designations of hospital. Myself or sometimes have to call a doctor and decide which hospital is appropriate for this patient.

Wow. Do you ever give the guy driving attitude that you have all these other responsibilities?

Yeah, every day. He knows this.

Is harsh. I would. I'd be like.

Hey, how's the driving going? I'm very fortunate.

I'm back here giving medications and saving lives. Hey, you might... Nice left turn.

The guy's bleeding out and you're just bragging.

I would spend all my time- I'm very fortunate.

I'm going to turn you up. I'm sorry. I have the greatest EMT partner in the world. We work really well together. He constantly challenges me. He's constantly asking me questions about this, that, the other thing. His name is TALON. He listens to the podcast too.

Okay, well, Tom, I said, Hey, shout out. What's his name again?

Shout out. Talon, like a claw.

His name is TALON? Whoa. You're one of the coolest, DMT ever. Yeah, now I like him better. I know. Why am I.

Talking to talent?

Yeah, Chris, you got to.

Step up. Let's get Chris in the game. He's at work right now. I had to get my shift covered.

I got enough nicknames.

Where's Rapier?

As in Rapier Whit?

No, that's a terrible- Don't call me that. I'm a terrible nickname.

That.

One was really bad.

Steleto?

Yeah. No, that's.

Not intimidating. No, something about his stash. We'll call him The Broom.

Oh, God, you guys are so bad at this. The Broom? No, that's bad. I think I know that. Okay, you go. Knife.

Okay.

I mean, Chris, what do you- Well, it's all better than my real nickname.

What's your real nickname?

Yeah, they call me Rain Man.

At work. They call you Rain Man?

Really? Yeah. I played trivia with my coworkers.

Oh, and you're good at trivia?

I'm really good at bar trivia. That's all right. I'm good at trivia.

And chess. Hey, if they're mocking you for being intelligent and having knowledge, that's okay.

Speaking from experience.

I'm sure you know the feeling. I'm sorry. I've been mocked in the past. But so what? I can't throw a baseball. Anyway, let's not dwell on that. Last time I throw a baseball, I had to call an EMT. You get to the hospital, you have the patient. Do you have to say like, Okay, here's what I think it is. Does the surgeon ever have a real attitude? I think I'll figure this out. Do they ever do that? I think I got it from here.

Sometimes I'm very fortunate. They went to seven years of school. I went to one. Yeah, there's a big difference. But I'm very fortunate again, the hospital I work in association with is we have some very fantastic doctors. I choose to work where I work because I work with a lot of really great people, including the doctors and nurses, other first responders in my area.

Oh, come on. Isn't anyone in your life a prick? I mean, come on.

That's why you're.

Called here.

Yeah, they are. They are.

I have the utmost respect for everyone I encounter. There's got to be one person at the hospital who's just the worst. We won't name them, but you.

Know who I'm talking about. Dr. Lenno isn't very….

Oh, good Lord. Anyway. I'm just.

Picturing him in all denim scrubs.

I hear you're having a heart attack.

That's the siren. Anyhoods. I am very impressed by this. This is a very impressive young man. You have- I appreciate it. -you've got full skills. I appreciate it. Tell us a little bit about your life. What's going on? Family? Anything going on?

No, I'm single. I have a great family. My mother's beautiful and perfect in every way. I love my mom. That's pretty much the most of the family I have. She was actually here this morning making me breakfast, which was very nice because she knew I was nervous for this. That's a door-to-door.

That's so nice. You shouldn't have been nervous about this. We're easy to talk to.

We're just folk. I know, I know. But I've been watching you, Conan, on and off for about 25 years. Oh, wow. I listen to you guys every day. Oh, wow. On and off. Why? You guys went on there for a while. I had to take some breaks. I knowyou guys had a podcast. I didn't know you guys had a podcast until I bought my new car, which had SiriusXM.

Okay, well.

Clearly.

We're not doing a good job marketing that.

No, I'm telling everyone about it now. We have.

All those ambulance ads on the side of.

Ambulance ads. That's from my law firm.

Do you feel less nervous now that it's started?

No, I'm more nervous. My heart rate is gradually rising.

Okay, well, you need three CCs of diazoaz and STAT. That's what I would say.

You're going to give me blood poisoning.

I just made up a medication. I don't know what that is.

I think so, yeah.

Okay, good.

I grew up in Berkeley, California. I've not been back since. But I went to school in San Luis de Vistae, and then I moved up to Lake Tahoe for a couple of years. What did you do there? During the COVID-19 pandemic. I didn't really know what to do with myself after college, so I actually worked for the California State Parks. My first job out of college was as a wedding planner, which is one of the weirdest jobs. I went from meeting people from the best days of their lives to the worst days of their lives, which.

Is a weird contrast. Wait, you went from being a wedding planner to being someone who's going into homes where someone's face just blew up.

Yeah. It was a weird swing. But I did some... I used to work on a Fuel's crew. I went back to school and became an EMT. The EMT portion, besides history class, was the only class, higher level education class I actually enjoyed. I decided I wanted to be a paramedic. I became a paramedic, and I've been doing it now on and off for about five years.

Hey, do me a favor, Krisby, and be honest. Would I make a good paramedic?

I think you'd give a great report. I do. I've seen you calm under difficult situations. If you can perform on stage, I think you can perform well on stage. But what about the whole part? No, it's okay. I can hear you're smart.

What about the whole part where I need.

To- Be professional?

Yeah, be professional.

You may make a joke unprofessionally, but your editing team does a great job of cutting that out.

You can't do that in real life. In real life, when I go in there and I start making jokes and we lose the patient and we're all standing around the living room and I'm like, Hey, I smell someone's.

Making goulash.

You didn't apply a tourniquet because you had to stall for a bit.

He had to do comb, mustache, and then the guy died.

Yeah, that one might not go well. Oh, well.

You went some- I think you'd be pleasantly surprised.

Do you.

Think you do okay?

No.

I think you do okay.

How do you do? Are you squeamish?

I think I do okay. That's the big thing. That's the big thing is I guess there are people that just see blood and they.

Have a problem. There's a difference between seeing a video and seeing it in person, that's it. Then it's also not just blood. It's like every bodily substance besides blood, too. It's not just like, is this gross or is this violent or gross? It's like it's also a smell factor.

Poo-pool or pee-pool? Wait a minute. Now you can't be a paramedic if you're going to say pooh-po and pee-pe. Well, we have a.

Major.

Release of poop, poop, and peep. We're heading in now. Is that how you talk to your kids? We've got poop, poop, and peep, tack. We've got two poop, poop, one peep. We need to administer diapers. Stat. Do people still say that? Stat. That was on shows when I was a kid. There was a show called Emergency and they'd be like, get in here. Stat.

Occasionally I hear it in the hospital occasionally when I'm walking through it, but it is in phase out to my understanding.

How about do you still-I don't say clear when you're using the paddles clear. Do you.

Still do that? Absolutely. Every time. Yeah, we use the defibrillator. Do you don't say gather around? Yes. No, you cannot be touching somebody when they get shocked. Otherwise you'll get shocked too. Okay.

Oh, I never thought about that. I want to try that. I would like to use the paddles. I'd like to say clear and then use the paddles on someone who doesn't need it. And then they do need it after I.

Use the paddels. If you use it and they don't need it, they will need it immediately.

After you. Is that true?

Yes. If you shock somebody with a defibrillator, you.

Can kill them. Let me ask you something. Not that I'mSometimes I just think about what's the perfect murder. But let me ask you something, Chris, and please, anyone listening, don't... This is just theoretical, and so I'm not going to take responsibility for this. But if you use paddles on someone and you give them a heart attack and you want them out of the picture, can't you then call the hospital and go like, They had a heart attack. Oh, now I inherit their money, I guess. I wouldn't say that into the phone.

I'm pretty sure I'd get in trouble if I shock somebody that I need to be shocked. No, I'm talking about secretly. I'm not talking about you.

I'm talking.

About secretly.

He's not.

Talking about you. He's clearly talking about him. Let me just carry an AED around with me.

No, listen to me. I'm not talking about you, Chris. I'm talking about me. There's someone in my life maybe who I want out of the picture and I used the paddles on them. Would a coroner be able to detect that? We did look at you. Would a.

Coroner be able to- Gosh, I don't know. I think so, though.

I may have stumbled on the.

We don't really use the paddles. We use these really sticky pads that leave a pretty heavy residue. They would see the residue and they would see the back of your hands. You can say he was having a launder, which is like $10,000.

You can say he was having a heart attack and you did it and then he died.

Oh, that's very good.

He just sealed your.

Own death for you. Maybe. But I want to make it clear. We don't usually shock people that have a pulse. That's very frowned upon my mind.

Consider it. Okay. All right.

Have.

You ever used the paddles on any food item to heat it up? No.

No, if you.

Use the paddles on an eggore.

I think that 200 jewels for one second, I don't think it would be enough.

Don't answer it. You don't think so? If you used the paddles several times on egga waffles that were completely frozen. Would they be at all-.

I think it'd make popcorn pop. I think it'd be a fun one.

Hey, kids, gather around. I'm going.

To have to-.

Hey, kids, let's have some popcorn.

Clear. I'm going to have to look it up later.

Is that the popcorn? That's the popcorn popping. It's also an auctioneer who's having a stroke. Get the defibrillator. Get the defibrillator on him. Let him hold some popcorn. That got really stupid really fast, Chris, and that's your fault. You let us down this road. Yeah.

I did.

I'm sorry. You did. It's all your fault.

To everyone listening, please don't use the defit pass on.

Anybody unnecessary. I'm glad you're here, Chris. And I agree with what Chris just said. Yeah, that's a very bad thing to do. And don't try it on an Eggo, maybe popcorn. I think we cleared things up. No, not on popcorn either?

Okay. No, they don't sell these things privately. You've got to go through an agency.

I know you're acting like it's a Costco.

Hey, I'm here for the defibrillators.

They're in building sometimes, like on.

The wall.

No, they're in a hospital. Welcome to Costco. How can I help you? I'm looking for an MRI and a defibrillator. Let's see. I want an iron lung, too. What are you doing? I'm building a hospital. You should come on by. Have you been to medical school? No. Hey, do you sell licenses here? No. You should.

Come on by.

Come on by if you're in any trouble. My name's Conan. I go to hospital. It's right down. I'm on the third house on the left. Are you going out on Halloween? What are you going to do for Halloween?

I have to work this Halloween. Are you allowed to dress up? I did dress up this past weekend. No, I went to Ned Flanders.

Perfect.

Oakly-dokely. How do you how stroke Areno? That was great. I had the glasses on and everybody thought I was Jeffrey Domer. I think it's the last time I'm doing the costume.

Oh, man. Well, Domer, Flanders.

Same thing. I simply can't do that as a paramedic. I do think that Ned Flanders would be a great paramedic. Ned and Marge would be my two votes.

I would worry that Ned Flanders would just put it in God's hands too many times. Yeah, I think you're right. He'd be like- Too much. Yeah. He'd be like, Well, it's the good Lord called, and then can't interfere with the good Lord's plan, as opposed to no, no, he's just got a hangnail. Get in there. Help him. I'm very impressed by this gentleman.

I am too. Chris, do you have a question for Conan?

I have quite a few, but I was really hoping you guys bring back remote episodes. You're the one that's going to be the most fun because that was my absolute favorite thing to watch you guys. Oh, cool. Even you guys just do the audio for The Grand Canyon, that'd be hilarious.

You mean for the TV show or are you saying do it.

For a podcast? Or do remote as a podcast and release on YouTube. I don't know the situation, but you can just do local ones like go to parts.

Of California. Let's just say there's some things in the works. There's some plans.

In the works. Yeah, come do a ride along, man. That can be.

Your main. You and I on a ride along? Oh, man. That's interesting. Oh, yeah. Interesting.

I'm a paramedic instructor as well. I can teach. I can give you the crash course.

Well, we all know how this is going to go. Lives will be lost, but laughs.

Will be gained. Conan will commit manslaughter and I will lose my paramedic license.

No, no, no. You won't lose your license.

But it will get some good laughs, I think. It'll be a.

Good bit. Hey, if all you lose is a career and we get some laughs.

Then who's to say we're going to lose? Have you guys ever had like, I don't know. I hope you guys have only had positive interactions with us. Yes. I was just curious, have you ever had an interaction with a paramedic or EMT?

I don't think. No, I mean, I've a couple of times been around elder folk who have needed that assistance and paramedics EMTs have come and they're just always fantastic. Great. I can't imagine having.

That experience. That really warms my heart to hear. Yeah, it's true.

It's true. If people come in, they just have this body of knowledge and they're calm and immediately everything is better.

I like hearing that. I really try to replicate that in my practice as well.

Oh, my God. Yeah. If I was having a problem, I would want you to come through the door and then I would spend 10 minutes just talking about the Simpsons episodes. I would flatline and you'd be in a lot of trouble. Well, Chris, very nice to meet you. You're an impressive young man.

I.

Appreciate you saying that. You're a better Ned Flanders than Ned Flanders, in my opinion. Thank you. Yeah, very cool to talk to you. And tell your mom we said hello.

It would be even cooler to talk to you guys. Of course. Yeah, my mom's great. I know you guys are wrapping up, but I just want to say you guys helped me so much in my personal life. I'm on the peer support team here in my area. I always say after we see something rough, you always have to laugh and then you have to sleep. You guys give me so much to look forward to in my daily commute, watching you guys on YouTube and just a lot of laughter. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. And even though I'm not even 30 yet, that's still. I say laughter is like the best medicine and you guys provide a lot of it.

I would agree. I think medicine, as some comedians said, actually medicine is the best medicine. I don't know who said that, but they were- When the shit really hits the.

Fan- I had to keep my type five in the back of the answer.

When the shit really hits the fan, I want someone who really knows the stuff that you know. But that is very nice of you to say. And it does warm our hearts to know that people like you who are doing really good work are out there listening. It's very meaningful. So thank you.

I appreciate it. You guys help more people than I ever can. I hope you guys keep doing what you're doing. You give me so many other people something to look forward to each day.

Wow. That's nice.

I really appreciate all you guys too. That's so nice. You guys are absolutely awesome.

I'm going to cry. All right. Well, Chris, thank you so much. Honor to talk to you, really. Thank you.

Have a great day. Honor is all mine. Thanks, Chris. Bye-bye, Chris. Have a great day, Conan. Bye, guys.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Cessian, and Matt Gordley. Produced by me, Matt Gordley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, nick Leau, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Year Wolf. Themed song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

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