Hi.

My name is Reggie Watts, and I feel quixotic about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

Very nice. I love that. No one's used that word yet. I don't think it's been used on the podcast.

On the Earth in at least 20 years. On the earth.

Yeah, that's true.

Fawley's here, here they are, back to school, ring.

The.

Bell. Brand new shoes, walk and.

Lose.

Climb.

The.

Fence, books.

And pens. I can tell that we are.

Going.

To be friends.

I can.

Tell that we.

Are.

Going to.

Be friends. I get ready.

When you are.

And even when you're not, it's Betty Crockers ready to mix frosty. Hey, there. Welcome to Conan and Brian Needs a Friend. I came in hot. I think there are days when I come in hot. Today, I nuclear-fueled Conan. Had a good workout this morning. You're looking fit. Yep, lifted a lot of... Well, thank you very much. You don't just body like mine. You need to really abuse yourself. Sona, good to see you. Nice to see you, too. You did come in hot because we were laughing and you're like, No one can laugh without me. When I hear laughter in a room I'm not in, I suspect fraud. It's like a company that couldn't possibly make that. It just doesn't seem right. I'm always like, What? Laughter? And I'm not there? This must be someone's... Something just is fundamentally wrong. So I came rushing in here, and then I guess, girly was chuckling everybody. I was.

Just telling them something that you had said earlier that was so funny.

There we go. There we go. All right, well, that makes sense. I'm satisfied. My name is Joy, I'm not a lover. What? Laught. I must go crush it. Make it about me. I just noticed Sona's wedding ring. Yeah. It was just about to hit on you. No, I was going to say your hand was out and it was tilted and it's very nice. What a rock. My fingers got skinnier, so I have this plastic coil around it, and I've had it there for- Can't your- I can just go to a jeweler and they can quickly resize it? Well, because I think it's going to go back up, I'm sure, I think. I'm just leaving it there. It's going to just get bigger. Eventually, the whole ring is just going to be a plastic coil, I think. Why don't you just lose that I'll hold on to the actual diamond and you can just wear a plastic coil. No. You'll get it back at one point. I don't want to do that. Well, anyway, I just noticed it, and it's nice. Thank you. I don't think I ever looked at it really before. Thank you. I actually don't even think I look at you very often.

Oh, that's nice. No, I'm just very so focused on me and what I'm doing. Yeah, well, that's clear. Oh, Gorly. That's me.

This is what I look like.

Oh, my God. You usually have a mirror in front of both of us just so you never have to actually look at us. I make every employee at Team Coco wear an oval mirror on their face. It's a.

Two-way mirror so they can see through it, but you just.

See yourself. No, I actually am insisting on a one-way mirror so they crash into things and get into terrible car accidents.

Yeah, it's a mess around here of just.

Broken glass. People are just smashing into the wall all the time, but I'm happy because I just see me, me, me. I'm an opera singer warming up me, me, me, me, me.

You did come in hot.

You're singing a lot, too. Yeah, I sure am. Because I've got a.

Beautiful voice. That usually implies like, come in hot, you're grumpy, you're mad, you've got something to prove. No, you came in just you're just living. You're buzzing.

You know what? I'm happy. Life is good. I'm happy to be here at the podcast and with some of my favorite people. Hold on, let me put on my glasses. Oh, shit. I didn't see who was in the room. I'm sorry. No, I thought it was with Jeff Goldblum and the Ghost of Abraham Lincoln. And then it turns out it's goryly and sorry. I apologize. I wish Jeff Goldblum was here. And the Ghost of Abraham Lincoln. It'd be like, I'm just was at the theater? What the fuck? I'm like, Gabe?

You wrote the Gettysburg Address and you just said what the fuck?

I've told you that sketch I always wanted to write where... Oh, yeah. I think I mentioned on the airways. Lincoln is in heaven and he's walking around and he sees the group having a really good time and he goes up to the group because they're all laughing real hard and John Wilkes Booth is at the center. And everyone's... And Lincoln's like, What the fuck is he doing up here in heaven? And they're like, You know what? He was really good to his mom. That night with you, he was having off night. It was a one-off. I was like, Yeah, he was having off night. I was like, He was having off night. And Lincoln's really mad. And they're like, Come on, Gabe. And then Booth was like, Mr. Lincoln, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking, but I am a big fan. He goes to shake Lincoln's hands and Lincoln swats it out of the way. I'm not going to shake your hand. And then everyone else, Aristotle, Gandhi, everybody else is like, Whoa, Dave, not cool. I had this idea like 25 years ago, and I never wrote it.

I know. We should make this happen because you've mentioned it a few times. I feel like- How does it end? -for your birthday.

What? Yeah.

How does it end? Yeah, does it have a button?

They get into a fight and Booth shoots Lincoln again. Oh, no.

Yeah. And then he goes to second, Evan. Yeah.

But everyone says like, You know, Dave, you were being a dick. And so Dave gets sent down to hell. I don't know. I don't know how it ends.

But- This has just been spitballed. You've never written it?

I've talked about it a lot. You have talked about it. I have so many sketches in my head that I never wrote because they just seemed too weird and arbitrary. But that one always amused me. I want to know what something is too weird for you. Because have you seen some of the shit you put on TV? What a nice way to put it. I'm going to make sure if I ever get a major award for my work in comedy, I'm going to have Sona give it to me, and she'll do the speech up front. Here to give the award to Conan O'Brien after 90 years in comedy is Sona Movsassian. I don't know much about Conan, but have you seen some of the shit he did? I meant that in a loving way. I'm sure you did. In an admiring way. I don't like your wedding ring anymore. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. That'll show you. Oh, no. Yeah, I think it's poorly fitted to your finger there. That'll show you. All right, gang, let's all settle down. Okay. I like when I make it sound like we've got to get down to business and then it's talking to a funny person and being idiots.

It's not like we're about to start an algebra class. But anyway, my guest today, of course, a talented musician, comedian, and now author with his new memoir entitled Great Falls, Montana: Fast Times, Post- punk weirdos, and a tale of coming home again. Very excited he's here today. My friend Reggie Watts, welcome. Reggie, you and I got some history, and that's why I'm so thrilled that you're here today. Real history. Yes. You have written a book and you have a fantastic story to tell, and you're a very talented and also a very strange fellow, let's just be honest. I mean, the glasses alone, hold up those glasses so our viewers can see and our listeners. Those are, are they hexagons? What are those?

They're hexy. They're hexy, baby. Their future is hexy.

Now, I'm going to take, because I don't know if Matt Gordley, and Sona knows this, but I don't know if Matt knows that Sona was on the tour. We did this- To us. -cookie tour, which was really and out there in 2010. It was a real happening. We needed someone to open for me on this tour. They went all around the United States of America. We, of course, we found Mr. Reggie Watts. Reggie was a great opener for the show, and you did an amazing job. One of the things you did so brilliantly is people were coming to the show, we put it together so quickly that nobody knew what it was. I wanted them to know right away, this isn't the show you thought you were going to get. In fact, this is unlike any show you've ever seen. You can't just have a standard. I just can't have a comedian come out and go, Hey, everybody, how's it going? How are you doing? Hey, what's with the sweater? Who died and gave you the sweater? Because they were dead and didn't need the.

Sweater.

Anymore. That guy sucks. Oh, that guy's terrible. He sucks. He's dead, so he doesn't need the sweater, but the sweater is what fucking killed them. Anyway, I love that comic.

It's a great bit. He is good in context.

He's very good in context. And you should really see the sweater he would go after every night. And it was the same sweater. Plante. It was a plant. Hack. Anyway, we couldn't get that guy. I wanted that guy so badly. His name is Hackby Hackenstein. We couldn't get him. No, but someone had heard of, Have you seen Reggie Watts? You were not a known quantity at the time, but we saw you and you were absolutely exactly what I wanted. You wouldI can't even describe what you would do, but it was so original and so fun and so interesting and so different that people would come in and they'd see the warm-up and they would think you were there, Sona. Like, Oh, my God, what is happening? What is this going to be? And it was great. You were perfect. It was awesome. But you did one thing that completely blew me away, and then I'm going to let you speak at some point, but I'm just going to monolog for a while because it's Reggie Watts, and I'm very excited. You would... We were touring in the summer. It was very hot. This gentleman would wear very, very heavy sweaters all the time and lots of cordaoy and suspenders.

And layers. And layers. A little T-We would be in Texas. We would be in, you tell me, Georgia. It would be a 130 degrees. And you would be walking around, you never sweat. And then I would be sitting in my dressing room alone doing guitar scales and trying to warm up my vocals for the show and just trying to get ready. And then I would wander down the hallway and I would pass Reggie's dressing room. You will testify that this is true, Sona. I would pass Reggie's dressing room, and it was always a happening. I would look in the room and there was always about 35 people there. Beautiful women, but a beautiful woman with an eye patch and a falcon on her shoulder. Tanya. Yeah, exactly. Tanya. I mean, it really did. It's the coolest people I've ever seen. They were always different. Every time it was different people. Oh, there's a German man with a miner's helmet and he's got a goat with him, but he's also drinking absent. And it was just this insane collection of human beings. And they would always look at me like, Vas is lost. Einstein, Conan. And you'd be like, Oh, hey, Conan.

I'd be like, Oh, hey. And you would all be like, A hookah. There are doves in the room. Prince was there. I don't know. You had the... It was always a happening. You're the coolest guy I've met. How did you do that? We'd be nowhere. We'd be like, Oh, we're here in Tallahassee, and there are those people again. Did you fly them in?

I don't know how that… You know what? Really, it had to do with the tour. I mean, who wouldn't want to come and hang out backstage at.

Your tour?

It was pretty fun. People were like, What is happening? They were like, As much as you're saying, What is happening with this guy? My friends were like, What's going on with Conan? I'm opening for you. It's impossible. Let me come. I'd be like, Yeah, it was easy. Everyone was so excited.

It was so weird because we also never knew who was going to be backstage. Whatever state or city we were in, the most famous people from that state or city would show up. Right. We'd be in Seattle and it'd say, Oh, Eddie Vetter is going to… Pearl Jam is going to come do something on the show. I'd be like, What? I'd say, This isn't funny. This is hurtful, this prank. Then, Eddie Vetter, which… Yeah, go ahead. One of my favorite- This is Aaron Blaird speaking. Yes. I discourage his interruptions, but go ahead, Aaron.

Just so you know, you'll never be allowed.

To speak. Oh, no, I know that. I still have the contract.

That tour was so nuts.

I have a.

Specific memory.

Of being in San Francisco.

And I was backstage trying to get.

From one side.

Of the stage to the other and there's this very narrow hallway.

I'm.

Walking very fast down the hallway and you're talking to somebody. I just go to.

Push this person away. But as.

I'm about to touch them, I realized you're talking to Neil Young. I was.

Like, Oh.

Yeah, maybe I'll just wait. Yeah, don't you fucking manhandle Neil Young. I just waited. But you were such a good… I don't know. It was one of those… So many things went miraculously right on that tour. I would say the first thing was, Oh, our opener, which was a total hail Mary, it was Reggie Watts. And you just set the tone right away. And whatever happened on that crazy tour, you were like, , of course this is happening. And then, of course, as I got to know you better throughout the tour, which was a real delight, and I've seen your career blossom so beautifully subsequently, and now you have this book out, I realize that you have this improbable background that made you coming into that tour feel like, Yeah, what else you got? You know what I mean? I don't think a weird situation could be created for you that you couldn't handle.

Honestly, that's an amazing observation because that's how it feels. Because all the stuff that I did that I chose electively to do and that was available to me growing up, that stuff was pretty weird.

I'm going to take people through it quickly just to set the table. And then obviously, I want you to tell this story, but you are born with no citizenship. Where were you born?

I was born in Stuttgart. Stuttgart, Germany. Stuttgart, Klaustesufenhausen. Okay, well.

That goes without saying. Of course.

Right here, the town of Laedohos. Of course.

Laedohos in Zufenhausen. Your dad was an Air Force serviceman, right? Yes. You're a military lad.

And.

You move a lot.

Yeah, a few times. I will say a lot for the amount of time that we did move. Other friends of mine were like, I was in Oklahoma for two years. Then I went to partial high school and partial junior high. For me, it's like we moved around. We moved to four different countries and then ended up in the United States until about three and a half or four.

And you have this experience of you're living inEurope, your parents are a biracial couple, and that is very accepted. Then you move to Montana, where there may be a different vibe, I'm guessing. Yeah, that's one way. I'm not just guessing, it's in your book. So tell us about that.

It was very interesting. It was a mix of being aware of that and also not... Are we allowed to cuss on here?

Oh, where it's actually encouraged.

Okay. I also just didn't give a fudge about it.

That's a little harsh.

Sorry, guys. Yeah, fudge is not one of our favorite desserts. Can we take that out?

Can we meep that out?

Yeah, we have a delay. I love a hot fudge Sunday, but I despise a Hot Fudge Sunday.

It's so close.

It's so dangerous. It's so close. I'm telling you, if you haven't had a hot fudge.

Sunday, you haven't lived- Oh, my Lord. Let me write down.

That time code there. It's interesting because don't you think, and I've always had this theory that growing up with the, what many people would describe as the radical instability of mixed-race parents, Europe moving constantly in radically different countries, not really sure what the hell is going on, prepares you in a weird way to say, I'm going with whatever.

Oh, 100 %. I mean, everywhere that I go, I had to learn how to adapt because I was always ill-equipped. I wasn't speaking English very fluently when I first started going to preschool. So for me, I was trying my best, but I had to learn English pretty quickly. And then I had to learn how to make friends. Friends were like, Oh, this guy is weird. And so I had to figure out ways to quickly get in to people's center of who they are. And that worked pretty well. I think eventually, you just get it. It's all about your rep. Even in the entertainment industry, it was like, Hey, you know your reputation, it says a lot about how you can get hired. It goes back to then, too, in school. It's like if you work on being someone who's helpful and funny and joking all the time and slightly ornery, but with good intentions, that's your rep, and it goes a long way with friends.

Yeah. I've always maintained comedy is not a hobby. It's a defense mechanism that's learned very… It's a survival mechanism that you learn very early. It's totally true. You learn it very early, and then you forge your whole life around it. Then someone later on in the process, people go, We'll give you a check for that.

You go, What?

I've been using that to stay alive.

Okay. All right. Are you sure?

This is what kept me from being beaten by.

Those hoolagons. Oh, my God. So many fights averted.

You move to Great Falls, Montana, and I love this because the cover of your book, and I want people to get this book, but it's the cookiest- Just for the cover, guys. It's the cookiest book cover I've ever seen. It's your head floating, majestic, automatically disembodied above the, it looks like the Falls in Great.

Falls, Montana. Yeah, it's the Anaconda hydroelectric dam. Yeah.

I'm mad at you because I need to write my autobiography. You do. There's a lot of pressure on me to write it. And my idea was my head floating above a hydroelectric dam somewhere in the Midwest. I got you. Yeah, Western Midwest. Of course. I'm screwed.

Thank you. Wmw. That's fine. There's a couple more ideas you.

Can use. Did you encounter racism when you were a kid, when showing up in this environment?

For sure. Some of it I chose to not acknowledge, just to just keep doing my thing. But definitely, they were full on. I got chased by some guys in a pickup truck with a baby gun, and I was trying to hide from them and stuff for a while. That was fun. But really while it was happening, I was like, Oh, this is what it's like. Just kidding. Oh, no. I'm like, This is a valuable experience. Okay, cool. So this is what it's like.

Wait, did you look to a camera that wasn't there? Totally.

I did. I said, Are we still rolling? I just yelled up to the sky.

Or whatever. Although terrifying, running from these racists is a valuable experience. I'll probably learn from it. Well, back.

To running. I know back to running again. I don't even like running. No, I mean, I think there were, I remember my gym teacher, I don't know if it was in the book or not, but there was my gym teacher. He and I had this weird... I just didn't like him. He didn't like me. I remember walking to the gym and he was in the hallway before going into the gymnasium. And it was just he and I. And he pulled me aside and he was like, I want you to know that you're not fit to eat with pigs. And then I just looked at him and I was like, Thank you so much. And then I walked away. And it was like, people saying stuff like that to me, I was like, What are you doing? For me, it wasn't so much like, Oh, I feel hurt by it. Mostly I was just, I was going like, What are you doing?

First of all, that's horrible. But at the same time, what makes sense about it is that you're refusing to even honor it. You're refusing to, Thank you so much. Yeah, totally. Good talk. You got it out. And then you keep moving and you're totally denying that person their anger, their rage, whatever is going to give their feet purchase on the ground, which in a way is genius. The aspect I identify with is the non-confrontational aspect. I was always very light on my feet. And if people didn't like me or thought I was weird or was coming after me for one of a thousand reasons, I wouldn't stand my ground and go, Oh, yeah. What are you going to do about it? I would say 35 things that confuse things and behave in a strange way and then drift through the wall. I don't know. I'm not advocating that approach in life because there's part of me that wishes that in the movies, what you do is you kiss your fist and punch them across the room. You get.

Your goddamn hands off of my- Yeah.

What would happen to me is I would kiss my fist and then fall in love with my fist. No! And then start tonguing in. Oh, no! And then you would fudge it. Yeah, exactly. I would fudge the shit out of that fist.

My.

Highest compliment I can pay to you is that you are impossible to categorize because you're like, He's a musician. Yeah. He's a bandleader. Well, but he's also he's a comedian. Yeah, but he's also an artist, but he's also a prankster, which I think is great. It's like you refuse to be categorized, but music must have come to you very early, I would think.

I think music is the secret weapon. I think for me growing up, I loved music. My parents loved music. They listened to it. My dad was a huge jazz head, and my mom and he shared their love of jazz, but also specifically more folk like James Brown and things of that nature. My mom loved folk music, Nana Muscuri and those types of Edie Piaf and those types of singers, Julio Glacias. I was around so much music. Ray Charles was someone I gravitated to as a kid. I loved watching the way that he moved when he played piano. For some weird reason, Elvis Presley, a huge… My first record was an Elvis Presley record. I was impressed with the press, but he was- Sorry. -that's trademarked. You will have to meet that.

No one's ever said that about Elvis Presley. No one's ever. And everything's been said about him. I know. And no one's ever said, I'm impressed with the press. I feel fondly for the Lee. Lee, press Lee. What? Lee for the Lee. Fond Lee for the Lee. What the fuck?

I told you. What did you… No, I mean, by discovering music, my parents saw me on my… I would be like bedside, pretending to be Ray Charles. I was a mimic as far back as I can remember. And they saw me doing that and they got me this toy piano and I was playing on the toy piano a lot. And then as soon as we moved to Montana, I think at age five and a half or something like that, I went into classical piano training and took to it pretty well. But I was also social. So for me, it was like, Oh, I get to be with all these kids. And like, Oh, I'll learn music. But what about all these kids? The music was fascinating. But really, I think that's what creates that adaptability. Because for me, the one thing I always tell all my artist friends where they're like, I'm doing this one thing, but I'm not sure. I'm thinking about maybe doing painting. I'm like, Those are just extensions of yourself. It's like if you imagine yourself as a person sitting on a floor and you're surrounded by all these different medium tools, you can rotate to any position and pick one.

It's like the core is always the same. You're the creator. Pick different tools. But you've got the most important part, which is I have an idea of something I want to do. And so for me, I think music enabled that because I would be on the playground. It would save me if people would be like, I'd be hostile towards me. And I would start singing Olivia, Newton, John or something. Let's get physical.

And they'd be like, Oh, that's a good song. I tried that, and I was again, savagely beaten. I know. Were you're right? Let's make the right song. Let's get physical.

I know.

How to stop these hoolagons.

Sure thing, O'Brien. How about this for physical?

Hey, O'Brien, we're going to beat the shit out of you. No, I don't think so, sir. For I'm about to sing a classic tune by Olivia Newton-Jones. What the fuck? Oh, you'll see. Let's get physical. Physical. When I awoke in the ICU, there's not one unbroken bone in his body.

True, though.

That bully was Olivia Newton-Jones.

I was just.

Imagining the bullies. What was she doing at the playground?

I was just imagining the bullies going like, Is that all of them? It's like, I don't know. Actually, no, I think this pinkie is like, Okay, one more time. Get out of here.

Masterpiece. These are bullies that really took their job seriously. And if they found out later on that there was an unbroken and pinkie. They were like, You got to respect your craft.

It's a warranty.

Did the teachers just watch this happen, too? Are they joining in? They would sell seats. Oh, my God.

O'brien, left, uppercut.

O'brien, watch out. There's another beating of O'Brien. Everyone to the north side of the parking lot.

Watch you that. We're suspending all lessons for the day.

The SAT has been canceled. The PSAT has been canceled. No one's going to college. Good Year Blint passes. It's already got messaging about me, the Conan beating. You know what else can take a beating? A Good Year tire.

Yeah, soft focus, hard on the tire.

It's funny. You're so influenced by pop culture at this time, too, because you're a sponge. You are watching television. You're watching movies and you're picking up on comedy. What stuff are you watching? What are you loving?

Well, we were speaking earlier about The Pink Panther- Pink.

Panther movies and Peter Sellars.

Yes. -and my dad and I would watch those. I remember probably the most intense laughter I ever had with my father that I can remember is Peter Sellars doing that bit where he's on the parallel bars.

I've talked about the same thing. Oh, my God. I swear to God. This is in my, if I've only left with eight images in my brain before I die, okay, I'll reserve some for my two children and my wife. I'll give them three spots. But then the rest is going to be, and one of them is going to be Peter Sellars on the parallel bars, upstairs in the mansion.

Next to a flight of stairs going down.

Yes. Dismounts with a graceful discount and falls down the stairs. Look this up on YouTube or wherever you want to see it. Because he's so poppy, he's like, Oh, it's a parallel bars. I did this at the Lyceum. And he gets on them and he's doing… And then he dismants and then and crashes into the room where the staff has been assembled for his questioning. And my favorite thing is he enters a room with all of his dignity and authority stripped because he just fell down a slide of stairs, but immediately stands up and, Well, we'll just-.

That scene with that was because you're just watching and going, Okay, sure. All right, swinging back and forth. That's great. All right, cool. So you're done with your Salsbury steak. And then that happens and my dad and I lost it. We were laughing for quite.

A while. That's so funny because I would go to the movie theater when those movies would come out and my family would go, and my father would go, and that's where I would... You always pay attention to, and this is what I can relate to, is I would watch my dad. If my dad was laughing really hard, that was... Because when you're a kid and sometimes you're not sure how you're going to connect with your dad, I think times have changed a little bit. But if at all you feel that, I don't quite know how to connect with this guy. He can seem remote. Sometimes I'm grumpy and I'm scared. He's at work a lot. And then when you see him laughing really hard at that at a moment in a Pink Panther would be like that. There's no coincidence that later on you find out, Huh, I'm in comedy.

Yeah. Oh, man.

This is my way of connecting to people.

Hundred %. And my dad was a very strange guy. He was very quiet because he was a war vet and he was obviously more animated when I was younger. But it was just few and far between. Those were our moments to connect. It was really humor. Him laughing at me doing something dumb or whatever, or hiding peas in my pocket when they weren't looking, and then him discovering it and then just laughing about it, those types of things.

Not to mention your book, he had PTSD. He did, yeah. He had a lot of trauma from serving. He had been in Vietnam. Is that right?

He had been in Vietnam. He hadn't seen a ton of action, but he did see some action towards the end of his second round in Vietnam. And so I think all that stuff catches up to you, even if you're not on the front line, even if you're on the base. I think he was on a base and had gotten noticed that they were surrounded and that the Vietnamese were closing in on this base. And so everybody was arming up and getting ready. And then there was a notice that said the war was over. Yeah. So it didn't happen. But I couldn't imagine the stress of just this impending thing. You're like, I don't know how this is going to turn out. All of that definitely got to him. I will say that unlike some of my friends who've had difficult times with their fathers, I think he did the best he could with what he had really. Who knows? He was ill-prepared for that. He also didn't have any help. There was nobody going like, Well, you've got shell shock. Let's sit down and talk about it. That was more esoteric, or it was more for people that were a little bit more forward thinking.

My mom was always like, Go in the basement and yell. He just wouldn't do any of that stuff. He'd just be silent and hang out in the dark at 2:00 AM.

But you could connect to him through comedy and through music?

Yes. I think he wasn't like a guy that was like, I'm really proud of you, son. He didn't do that, but you knew. I knew when he dug something or he would just be like, Oh, man, this guy is crazy. Or he would shake his head and have this grit on his face. I knew that that was him going like, I don't know what this guy is, but I like him.

What's interesting to me is that you were in a legit band when you start to discover, I can do comedy using these same tools. I mean, your repertoire is you can play all these different instruments, but also by messing around with petals, getting different sounds going, you're able to start to make something and repeating phrases. It's really cool to watch you put it all together. But when do you start to figure that out? And do the members of the legitimate band get irritated that you're doing that?

Do you know what I mean? Massively irritated. Yes. People would be annoyed with me doing comedic bits. Because I did comedy in high school. We had competitive drama. So I got to do humorous solo the first year. And it was just very strange to just get on a tour bus. Here's $40 for the weekend and two nights at a hotel. And good luck competing against other students from around the state in a weird high school on a weekend. But it was great because you'd meet all these other drama kids that are all a bunch of weirdos. So they're just like doing these crazy monologs. And you're like, Okay, great. What am I going to do? I don't know. But my teacher was like, You can do whatever you want. It's okay if you want to improvise, and then I would improvise. So I think all of that. And then I tried out for a stand-up competition in high school and won it. And it was like 300 bucks or something like that. Immediately bought a shit ton of weed for my friends, my friends were like, Great. You won. Do you want to buy some weed immediately?

It's not about like, You were great up there and you won. We got money now you want to get some-.

You did good at the weed winning competition. You mean the stand-up thing? Whatever. Yeah, totally. But the weed- The weed procuring.

Thing went well. I did good with weed. I think that started creeping back in because I have a hyperactive imagination. And when I'm on stage and I hear a sound or someone says something and that immediately links to some other silly thing and I can't help it after a while. There were times... I understood it. You don't hear the drummer back there. You don't have a mic, and you're like, What the fuck is this guy doing? I get it. I wasn't like, You guys should understand me. But there were definitely moments when I felt them going, Can we just play the next song? Like, Yes, that's a good idea. Let's play the next song.

When did you decide, All right, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to go out on my own and I'm going to use this tech that I have and my improvisation skills and my wits and I'm going to make this musical mash-up of music comedy. When does that happen?

That happened, I think, when I was about 31, 32. I was in my band Mocktube, which was a really amazing band to be a part of, a great band. But we had been, I think, we'd been together for five years, and we'd gone through a bunch of hype cycles with labels and execs coming out, Jimmy Iovine coming out to watch us and doing showcases in LA and stuff like that, Piper Room. Almost something would happen. Then we'd go back to like, Oh, they passed, or whatever. Then we would work on another record or something like that. I just wasn't seeing it evolving beyond the third time that we'd gone through that. I was doing comedy and then I saw, what are they called? Michael Schrow Walter, Mike Lean Black. Of the state? Yeah, the state. Not the state. Oh, Stella. I was post-state. I learned about state later, but I saw Stella and I was like, What is this? Those little shorts shot on DV. I was like, This is my humor. These guys know how meaningless things are. And that's so beautiful. And so I am identified with that. And then they ended up, I think, What?

American Summer came out? Yeah. And I saw that and I was totally like, Oh, yes, I want to do that. I was so driven and inspired by those things. And then they happened to come to town. Stella did come to town. I met Eugene Merman, and I was introduced by a friend. And he was like, We have a comedy night in New York. And then I ended up writing with a band, and they needed me in New York for the writing session for a month. So while I was there, I did a couple of spots that invite them up and instant friends with everybody. That's great. It was like being in high school again. When some of my younger friends or younger artists are like, How did you make it? Basically, that's the question. But how do you make it? I'm like, Well, you don't have to worry about making it. What you have to make is the thing that you love to do and do that. I always tell people, if you wake up in the morning and you can't not be thinking about a bit, and if you're always doing bits, that's what you are.

You're not going to change that, so you might as well make a career out of it.

No. I always maintained that my career is me doing what I'd be doing anyway. And then I was fortunate to find some people who had money and owned the machinery who were like, Well, you can do it for us. But the dirty little secret is that if they said, Well, we're done and we're taking away all the equipment, I'd say, Okay, well, back to my bits. Yeah, there.

Are my old bits. They just open up this closet.

Whatever, and I would just do it in an empty field. I think whatever, a passing dove would say, That seems sad. He's not aging well. He sure isn't. Who are you, Mr.

Turtle? I didn't know you could do it.

Everyone talks. This has become this whole.

Thing about how they can't believe each other can talk. But my bits.

But my bits. We're finding out we can talk. And you're obsessed with your bits, Conan?

Yeah, but here's my bit about Ronald Reagan.

You know- Well, well, well. Well, well.

That's not interesting enough. So how did you learn to talk?

Toadstool? How could the toadstool not like my Reagan bit? Oh, my God. You write in the book because I noticed that just in a tour that the women are quite taken with Mr. Reggie Watson. Then you write in the book that your dream girl is pippy, long-stocking. Oh, me too.

Really? Girlly? Go ahead. I have a huge crush on Inger Nielsen, the original.

Oh, yeah. Well, also the concept, but yes, she was great. She was great. She was a great embodiment.

Of it. Oh, and Inger called Stop Writing Her Letters.

Well, no, but because of this show, they interviewed me for a pippy documentary. No! We talked about it on here. They sent me a signed vinyl with Inger, Tommy, and Anika.

What? Wait, who are the.

Other two? Tommy and Anika.

Okay. Can you fill in just for people that are listening and had some a childhood? People want to know who the other two are.

I'm sorry. Tommy and Anika are like her normal kid sidekicks.

Okay. That's all we needed to know.

Yeah, they're friends. They're part of the crew. Yeah. But she's amazing. She's amazing. She was super strong. She had a basement full of treasure, so she had unlimited funds. She could travel anywhere. She could lift a horse. She could lift a horse. She was magical. She had red hair. I'm half red head. She had piggtails that were magical and she had cool style.

I'm having such a sense memory right now. I'm in my grandfather's small house in Ms. Quamacut, Rhode Island, and there's a Pippie Longstocking movie that comes on. This might have been with Inger. Back then, there's only three channels. This TV in Ms. Quamacut, Connecticut, near the State Beach doesn't get many of much reception of anything. You'd see the same thing over and over again. They were running a commercial for the Pippie Longstocking movie. There was just one line that rang in my head, which is a weird, overdubbed, someone, I think, overdubbing. It's all overdubbed.

Yeah, because it was Swedish. It's Swedish. Her accent would change from film to film. She would have just like a trans-Atlantic. Then some films she'd just be like, I'm from Brooklyn. I'm Pippi-dog stalking.

Okay, so what I remember, you tell me if this at all rings a bell is she's lifting a horse. She's running super fast, like 100 miles an hour, and they've just sped up her legs. She's doing all these crazy things. Then they just cut to a very European weird kid, and it looked like poor quality film stock who goes, Pippi, are you crazy?

Yeah, that's probably Tommy.

Okay, and I remember seeing that and going, What movie is this? You summed it up. My grandfather, a retired policeman, would say, Turn that crap off. Pippy, are you crazy? Wow.

They're using clips from this podcast in that documentary because we talked.

About it that time. Well, we're going to talk about it more now. I know. Where's my cut, by the way? I want a piece of that. Pippy Money is here.

Pippy Money, give me that long stalking.

I want in on that long stalking money. What is it about Pippy Long Stalking? You first and then you, Matt. What is it?

I don't know. I guess I liked that she was fully independent. She ran her own operation. She ran her own operation. She just went on adventures. She was just going on adventures all the time because that's what she was. Her grandfather was a pirate or something. Her father was a pirate, but no longer in the picture. Then had this gang of kids. I don't know, I just I had a huge crush on her. I thought that she was hot.

That's cool.

Yeah. I think Superman was always the ideal when you're a kid, but Pippy was a little bit more realistic. Her dad left her alone just to live in this house called Villa Villa Kula, and he just goes and sails the seas. I had a huge crush on her, too. I think maybe Blondie and Pippy were my first two crushes.

Oh, my God. Yeah, Blondie was pretty amazing.

Yeah, they're a little different.

Or you know what? Actually, Dale Bozio. Oh, yeah. From Dale? No, from a missing person. Yes, that's right. Band? Woman, she's like-.

Yeah, she looked like Blondie, right?

Well, she looked like a cross between Blondie and that people are going to kill me. They're Who's the dude from Twistach Sister?

Oh, D. Snyder. D.

Snyder. Yeah, like a tiny bit, like a hair like five %.

Oh, I have a.

Huge crush on D.

Snyder. There you go. Yeah, that's my ideal. There you go. That's interesting. No, Blondie really hit big my freshman year of high school, and I remembered her just being the ideal. Like, Oh, that's the sexiest. And she still is, for God's sake. She's the sexiest, coolest woman alive.

We need to get Blondie and Pippie on this podcast.

And have them fight.

Yeah, but Pippie would probably win.

Yeah, she'd start beating Blondie and I'd go, Pippie, are you crazy?

16 millimeter stored improperly.

Okay, here's another huge influence on you, and you mentioned it in the book. The Ferris Buler's day of.

You- Oh, yeah. Yes.

That was a huge influence on you because he broke the fourth wall.

Yeah, that was mind-blowing. One of the smartest moves of a movie script ever, I think. I'm sure not the first movie, but definitely of those coming-of-age films, which I was all about, I just liked all the things that he accomplished in a day. I mean, it was insane. I'm like, is he going to make it? And all that rascally principal and the sisters, badass. There were so many adventurous things, and it only took place in a day. And then at the end, him, or just once in a while throughout the movie, too, but looking at the camera, I was like, That is so cool. I love that we're in on it. He's experiencing that reality for us.

Also, it's very hard to do because it can be done badly. Yes. Of course, John Hughes and Matthew Broderick, they did it perfectly. Perfectly?

Yeah, it was just practical.

It's a perfect movie.

It's totally a perfect movie. I've watched it. Some of those movies are like... But just moments of it are breakfast club.

This is totally aside and random, but I was down in Venice here in California with David Hopping. A week and a half ago, and we wander into a store, and I'm chatting with the guy who runs the store, and he says to a woman there, who's also working there, this very attractive woman who's probably in her early 20s or mid-20s, and he says to her, I can't remember her name, but he says, Cilia, Cilia, tell Conan your story. Tell her your story. She comes over sheepishly because she's being forced to. She says, My parents are the parents on Ferris Buler. I said, What? What do you mean? She said, The two actors that play the mother and the father on Ferris Buler, they met on that movie and they're my parents. Oh, my God. And then the guy at the store is like, Isn't that crazy? And at this point, I feel like I have to buy something. Yeah. They met on that movie, and then she is their child. And she is Drop Dead Gorgeous, by the way. Oh, my God. Yeah. Very nice and very cool. But I just thought, Wait a minute.

Are you insane that you think… Because when you think of people who are playing a couple in a movie, you never think. She said, No, they met on that movie and then had me.

She's the real-life Bueler.

She is the real-life Bueler. Oh, my God. Yeah.

That was a cool story. She's a real Bueler. I was curious, does she ever just randomly stop in the middle of the street and just turn to a camera that's not there?

Well, I was-.

Get a load of me.

Yeah, she did while I was talking to her. Oh, no way. Yeah, she turned to a camera that wasn't there and said, I meet a lot of celebrities at this store here. I know, in near Venice Beach. Conan, bottom of the pile. But you know what? You got to pretend to be excited. And then she turned back to me. Well, you were still there. I was still there. Oh, man. And I said, That's rude. And then she turned back to a different camera and said, Who knew he could hear me?

Multicam.

Yeah, Multicam. The fifth wall.

She broke the fifth wall.

She broke so many walls, the roof collapsed. It's not easy to do.

Oh, my God. She's living in a hyper queue.

Anyway, I don't know her name, but shout out to her. No kidding. And very lovely, cool person. I'll just put that out there. So glad.

To know that. That's fucking mind-blowing.

I.

Love Bueler. Bueler is great. But also I love Weird Science. Weird Science was huge.

Weird Science. Weird Science is so insane.

So insane.

Because I'm sorry, but the premise is crazy. It's so crazy. The premise is crazy. It's because I remembered seeing that, this is how old I am, I saw that in theater as an adult who could choose to purchase or not purchase a ticket. I went with Craig Daniels because we were both writers and we had no girlfriends. Big surprise. We're living out here in L. A. And this movie comes out, Weird Science. We think, Well, let's go to Westwood and watch it.

To learn how to make a girlfriend.

Yeah, exactly. We both need to make a girlfriend, clearly, because no one we meet wants to talk to us. We go to this theater and these two guys just basically, I think, cut out a bunch of pictures from magazines and feed them into a what?

A.

Supercomputer. A Supercomputer. And a.

Ball, right? But a home computer. Then they- A Brazier.

Then a brazier. Then I think- A Barbie doll. -and there's a Barbie doll. Then I think because they run a cable to the roof and lightning hits it, that makes Kelly Lebrox.

That's true. That's- Yeah, they designed her on the computer.

I know, but I was like… The leaps people were making with, if you take a personal computer and there's a lightning storm and you have a bra and some dolls around, you can make Kelly Lebrox.

Yeah, computers are still fancy enough that you couldn't pin it down for, Oh, could it do that?

Yeah, I know. People just didn't.

Question it. They're like, That'll happen. I guess that can happen with a computer and a lightning storm if they both.

Have the same time. We need both. It's very hard. Those kids got lucky in that movie.

I remembered that happening and being a 22-year-old in the theater and just saying, Okay, I guess I really don't understand computers. I'm glad that that was. But myself and my writing partner, we went out that night, we bought an apple, we bought seven Barbies.

And you're.

Still waiting for that. And Greg was electrocuted. No Lebroch.

Here he is, electrocuted, Lebroch-less.

The firefighterfighters showed up and all they said when they saw us we were both smoldering was, try to make a Lebroch.

A lot of that lately.

We got two more nerds on Barrington trying to make a Lebroch.

You two stop Lebroch-ing around. Get out of here.

Enough Lebroch in you idiots. The power surge is going in these different nerd areas of town.

Then some shadow creature emerges in the background. I mean, yeah, the show was also had Mad Max vibes in it. It had like… I mean, it had every… It was so crazy.

And the guy from.

Mad Max. Yeah, the guy from Mad Max was in it. It was insane. But the crazy thing was that my first girlfriend was English, and she was a model for teen, Nightware or something like that. And so she came from London because her mother married an Air Force guy. And so my first girlfriend was this English brunette model. I was like, How is this even possible? I was just watching weird science and now my first girlfriend is this. It was very weird. Right. And I was very insecure about it because I was like, There's no way. The whole time, There's no way. There's no... And I was like, Which is not the.

Right attitude. And when you're saying that out loud and you're with her. There's no way.

Can't touch your shoulder? Oh, there's.

No way. There's no way. While you're having sex. There's just.

No.

Way. There's just no way. What? No way. There's no way you're totally leaving me. Can we at least finish this first? Babyborn. There's no way. How?

My new book. How? My life with the real Kelly Lebrox. I was like, What?

I love that you have also had a Seattle period, which I totally get because you went to Seattle to you wanted to experience creativity, randomness. You just decided I'm going to Seattle. Yeah. And cloud cover that's about six inches above the roofline of any house.

Yes, it's about like max 100 feet. I mean, it was the biggest city closest to Great Falls. I mean, you could drive there in 13 hours, which for Montanans, that's double the usual. That's a.

Trip to CVS.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, Oh, you got to go through Mountain Pass. You've got to take your time, though. There is a shortcut to Lolo, but don't worry about it. Just keep going straight. Black Ice patches, reportedly on the... We're like two wheel driver right now. But yeah, I mean, it was close enough. And then I got lucky. I've been lucky everywhere I've moved. But I moved there in 1990. It was just before Grunge was going to explode. And so I was living with a bunch of weirdos in a house as a band and that shit blew up. And I was a huge Downgarden fan. And seeing all of that explode and then see the industry move into that town so fast with all these satellite offices looking for the next new thing and then for new... Because when I moved there, there were two venues to play at. That was it. It was like two venues, nighttime, hardly any cars driving around the streets. It was so dead. It was such a small town vibe anyways. Then within a period of about three years, it completely changed. It was insane. Then coffee was like Espresso Culture was born there.

Oh, my Lord. My wife is from Seattle, and I got married there. It's my home away from home because we go there. Just when I was first dating my wife, I'd like, Oh, let's go get some coffee. And she said, We are not going in there because she was like a Somalia of coffee. Oh, no, they burn the coffee there. What about we could go in this place? No, we're not going there either. I'll tell you where we're going to get coffee, and she would take me to the one place that made the coffee just right, and I couldn't taste the difference. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And I still can't taste.

The difference. I mean.

After- I grew up on Sanca. I didn't know the difference.

Sanca is good enough. I take Sanca over Starbucks any day, but it was a crazy time to be there. We played Jeff Bezos's parties. I played two of his parties. I met him in 1995, 1996, saw Bill Gates at the restaurant that I used to go to. It was really weird to have all those worlds, these ripples that are now affecting our entire everyday lives. But being there in that.

Moment when it happened- Playing a party like that just sounds crazy. It always reminds me of... I did not... I wrote on the script, but I didn't write this joke, but there was a great Simpsons joke that one of the writers came up with, which is Mr. Burns is having a birthday party. And of course, Smithers is trying to make it the perfect party for him. And at one point, he books the Ramones to play for Mr. Burns. And the Ramones, they got the actual Ramones to go like, Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.

And then they dropped their instruments and Joey Ramone just goes, Happy birthday, you old bastard, and walks off. And they cut to Mr. Burns, and he says to Smithers, Have the Rolling Stones killed? And Smithers says, Sir, that's not the Rolling Stones. And he says, Do it. And so Smithers leaves. And he's always loved the joke that somewhere, the Rolling Stones are being killed in that world because that old man misidentified.

Them up.

Oh, my God. Have the Rolling. And I think about that all the time when I imagine me playing or having to do anything at one of those parties. If I was on the David Geffin' yacht and told a story or did some comedy thing, I could just see Geffin' leaning over to someone and saying, Have the Rolling Stones killed you? Have Gallagher destroyed you? Sir, that's not Gallagher. Do it. Have carrot tomatoes. Sir, that's not do it. Have Jane Ridge, sir.

All these.

Redheads start to die. That's a man that's not Jane. Do it. Yeah, just going through. Listen, Mr. Reggie Watts. I've been blessed many times in my life, but the day that you signed on to be my opening act and I got to go on that crazy adventure with you and then we became friends was a great day for me. I'm blessed to know you, keep me in your life, and let's do something together again. Let's do that. I would love.

To do that. Let's do that.

Let's open a store that sells something nobody wants.

Yes. Oh, my God. And see how long it takes to not sell anything.

And we'll get the woman in Venice who is the- Oh, my God.

Who's Ferris- She'll manage.

She'll manage. And it'll be called, yes. Yes, Ferris Buler's parents do have a child.

Ferris Buler's half-off.

You.

Idiot.

Trfb. I admire that. Ferris Buit is half off. All right, Mr. Reggie Watts, go in peace to love and serve the Lord. Have a nice day. Have a nice week. And peace be with you. Peace be with the gly. We're going to make a woman.

We have.

An ongoing saga on this podcast that continues to write its own narrative.

You're a- What is that? -terrible author.

I'm not writing and I'm just living it. Remember that Jay Elmore, who runs a deli in New York, has taken our sandwich creations and has been selling them. And he has an update on the numbers. He's running actual science now. This is good. Because last time you complained about the fact that I had an American flag in mind, and you said that that was responsible for why I was leading sales.

I think that gooseed things a little bit because we are patriotic people, and yours had an American flag and ours had no flag. So I think that put us at a disadvantage.

He took the flag out- Thank you. And started the tally again. Good. Okay, these are Jay's words. Once again, I just wanted to say you made my day with the mention on the podcast. I'm so happy you guys are enjoying it.

You're welcome.

Thank you, Wilford Brimley.

Yeah, you sounded angry. Well, that's a lot of skin off your nose.

No free pub. 551 sandwiches sold. Final tally so far. Sona's Euro, 172. Conan's Corned beef, 186. Matty melt, 193.

Oh, these are all.

Pretty close. Yes. And then it goes on. He said, I will cross the 200 mark today. Conan may cross it, too. He said, Matty melt, these are updates as they come in. Maddy melt just hit 200. Conan is a six away. I said, stall it, take it off the menu, meaning yours.

Where is this? New York. I know, but let's be a little clear about where this place is because I'd like to make a personal appeal.

I don't know where it is exactly.

Isn't this EJ's luncheonet? Yeah. I believe it's on the Upper East Side, Third Avenue between 73rd and 74th EJs. A very nice guy named Jay came out of his diner and said hello to me. We chatted for a little bit. That's when the idea for maybe these sandwiches came up. I would just like to say that my sandwich is I believe, it's corned beef, Russian dressing, coleslaw. It's a terrific sandwich. It's a classic. And it's called the Conan O'Brien or just the Conan?

I think it's just I'm not sure.

Okay.

So you're saying that the name recognition is important?

Well, what I'm saying is I would like to win this. And so I'm talking to all my listeners now who might be in New York City. Just hear me out. Maybe give my sandwich a try. Go there and order it. And then if you see me around New York City, I'm there a lot. Just mention I had your sandwich, Conan, and maybe get a little quick hug and a selfie. That's all. Oh, my God.

You can't use the bully pulpit like that. You have to give equal time to us.

I don't know what cash I'll have on me, but I don't carry a lot of cash. I'll just say that right now. You're going to go and just buy a ton of sandwiches, probably. I feel like you probably will. I'm going to have David Hopping go buy a.

Lot of sandwiches. Jay, you have to watch out for the soda. You can make your plea.

For your year-old. Mine is clearly the healthiest out of all three of them. Good. Thank you for saying that. Oh, nothing gets people into a diner like a healthy choice. Good job. Yes, if you are going to EJ's luncheonet because you're really feeling like slimming down, rush over and get Sona's Giro? Giro. Oh, my God. I love to pretend not to know how to say it. Not at it. Then yours is what? A foreign sandwich, right? What?

No, mine is the most patriotic thing. It's called a Maddie melt.

Yeah, what's going on?

It's a Patty melt with Hawaiian bread.

Calories, calories, death, death. What do you mean? Cholesterol, fat. No, that's not the way to go after it. Come on, let me do it. No, that gets people into the tent. This is America. You forgot where you were. But it's New York. People care in New York. They walk, they're healthy, they work out. They do yoga. Hawaii became a state very late in the game. I'm just going to say that's better. That's like the last star on the flag. That's the bread you want. Oh, what a layback. I'm not a pank of a hit.

I'm based in New York with Hawaiian bread. I'm covering not only the continental United States, but practically Hawaii and Alaska.

Oh, please. With corned beef, I am covering just all cultures. What? Yes. The Jewish people, the Irish people. Done. That's it. Seriously. I'm sorry. The Greeks are responsible for our whole civilization. Are you kidding me? What are you talking about? You're a.

Wealth of- What are.

You talking about?

Sign the constitution.

Okay, first of all, what did you say the Greeks did? They're responsible for our modern type of civilization. Yeah, what have they done lately? Right.

Except she held a bunch of money. I know. A bunch of tax shelters.

Exactly. A tax shelter. You know what? Socrates kept all of his money in a tax shelter. That was his big advice to his students. All right, great. Shelter your money, he said. Same thing with Play-Doh. Because the US is doing great, you guys. What did you say? Yeah, the US is doing great-.

What did you say?

-attitudes like that. Yeah. Okay, well, guess what? Your gyro, I think, has plummeted because it's healthy and its inventor hates America. I would say, Hey, give the Conor O'Brien a try. Ej's luncheonet. Is it hard? Ej's luncheonet. Just go on by, check it out. The O'Brien. Oh, come on. Corned beef, coleslaw.

Here's my message. I say, listener, eat whatever you think sounds delicious. B-u-b-u. Don't fall prey to sway. Don't fall prey to sway.

Eat.

The meat. Don't fall prey to sway. Eat the meat.

I'll take a selfie with you. I'll give you a quick hello. I'm easy to spot in New York. If you think you see Jay and Lynch wearing a red wig, that's me. If you do.

By mind you don't have to take a selfie. You can get.

Out of it. All right. Thank you, Jay. I think we accomplished a lot there. And thanks to Jay Elmore for creating these sandwiches in our image.

And there's a very good chance that this saga will actually have quite a resolution, possibly even in the flesh.

Yes. I know what you're talking about. More later. Why don't we get a piece of these sandwiches? Sorry, I know we ended it. But why don't we get paid for a piece of these sandwiches? We should get a check. No check? No. Nobody else? No, we're not doing this for money. What are we doing it for? Real estate.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam O'Sessian, and Matt Gordley. Produced by me, Matt Gordley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, nick Leal, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Your Wolf. Themed song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blaert, and our Associate Talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez, additional production support by Mars Mellnik, talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista, and Rick Kohn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco Hotline at 6695872847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.