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The Guardian. Hello and welcome to The Guardian Weekly, the Champions League group stages are on a knife edge. PSG when Old Trafford, what did we learn? United are inconsistent, Cavani is good and BAPA is quick. Head butting isn't cool. Also today, what else can we say about Oliviers? Yaru four goals in Seville. What a guy. Meanwhile, it's seven hundred and fifty goals for Ronaldo. We'll count them all down like the top 40.

RG joins us from Cologne for some Germany talk. There's a Premier League preview. Fans are back in ground. Steve are some questions. We'll answer our favorites.

And that's today's Guardian Football Weekly on the panel today, Barry Clendenning.

Good morning. Hi, Max. Marcus Bean, hello. Hi, Max and Jonny Lou. Nice to see you're still in a is that a bathrobe or a dressing gown? What is that?

It's a blanket wrapped around some Amaunet loungewear.

Oh, well, it's the no, it's the best look. It's the best look of all the panelists, although it is closely followed up by Archie Rynn, tucked in a rolnick who joins us for part one and part one only. How are you, Archie?

Basking in the glow of films. Magnificent victory on Monday, Max. So very well. Yeah, yeah.

We got told off for not talking about it enough. We will give you depending on how long Part one is, the last two minutes or so of.

I'd better keep my answers on Germany's short one. One word answer. Yes, yes. Shaqra a bad end. Right. Let's start at Old Trafford, shall we? Manchester United won PSG three. Manchester United were really good for parts of these games. Martialing Cavani could have scored and then PSG were really quite good for Spell's of this game. And and BAPA and Neymar are quite good at football, aren't they. Sort of. Could have been three won either way.

Johnny, what did you make of it?

Well, I mean, yeah, it was a strange one, you know, as it were. The reports of it were where they looked like they were going to run away with it. And, you know, they have been ending games quite, quite strongly of late. I mean, Southampton on Sunday being being just the latest one.

But here he was kind of strange because they started it really badly. And they've they've had of a lot of a lot of games recently, but they've gone behind or they conceded early goal, Everton, Newcastle, the the first game against Istanbul. And I just got two shows, a team that doesn't really have the the emotional maturity to play for a full 90 minutes. They were good spells. Cavani hit the Bodney with that lovely chip and and then they really just kind of subsided.

Fred got sent off just after they went to one down and and yeah, they just kind of fell apart in the last twenty minutes. The difference between the worst level of this united team and the best level is actually scary. And that kind of comes down to the manager who, you know, I don't know how you're getting outworked by of all teams, Paris Saint-Germain, but they just didn't seem up for it for a long part of of this game.

The long pause of other games that they've played, it seems like that they're just going to you know, they're trying to manage a game by by kind of breaking it open and a little twenty, thirty minutes. Bellin and not all games are going to work like that. So, yeah, I mean, it comes out to the manager and it comes down to culture as well.

They were good, they were good periods, but they still can't put 90 minutes together. And that's always going to hold them back as a team playing and ultimately in ninety minutes, sport. Marcus, do you agree with that?

Is that down to Sosha, the fact that, you know the best man united are so much better than the worse man united?

I think part of it comes down to to the manager. But as a player is down to you to to to motivate yourself for 90 minutes, I think I think about as or so social may have been I think it's a bit harsh to criticize him for the players inability to play for nine minutes. I think that game yesterday was definitely a game that suits Vanu Monday night. Paris and Jamal played wide and open that Monday night. Excellent on the break.

They've got a lot of pace in the likes of Rashford, who was excellent on the day, and Marcio. And if they're not winning games like that against a team that that doesn't really know how to defend. And, you know, they've got big problems, Barrie.

I mean, that chip from Cavani was such a delight, wasn't it? Um, yeah. Thanks, Barry. You always do this to me. You make it completely obvious statement and then.

Well, it's listen. I don't want to rally the Barry I know we spend a lot of time together. It's within your powers to talk about what a glorious trip it was. And I'll give you an example, Archie. What a glorious chit that was by Cavani.

Well, what I would say about Cavani is that he's got something of a tragic quality in these big games for him from going back to his time at PSG. And yeah, I it was one of those chips where you were kind of willing it to go in so that that would be my few pennies was a success to the tune of the famous woodchuck tongue twister.

How many fouls could Fred foul against a Frenchman if Fred fouled at least four times brackets with a headbutts? Doesn't quite work, George, as can the pod. Think of a bigger disparity between two bookings and Fred's headbutts. Clean Challenge Combo. Well, what was Fred?

He seemed to really want to get sent off by the end of this Barry, even if his second yellow might not have been the one that should have sent him off.

Yeah, I mean, this is a game that probably could have gone either way.

And I think it was well known on the touchline because Thomas Tulku could see what was going wrong with his side and changed it by bringing it off Moyse Cheen and replacing him with Becker, uh, to to stop Manchester United rampaging down to the left and. Fred, it seemed completely obvious he there was a red card in the post for him, he was very lucky not to get one for sticking the nose, however gently on parade days. And then he had two more fouls, which could conceivably have earned him a second yellow.

Everyone assumed he would be taken off at half time and he wasn't and then got taken off for a foul. That probably wasn't a yellow card, but he can't really complain on balance because he could have had a straight read and two yellows. So I'm not sure why Alexander Soska left him on when there was more than adequate cover on the bench.

Seems strange. The referee looked at the monitor. And didn't send them off for that had but Marcus, did you like to get under the skin? Did you have when you saw an iPod player, you thought I could rile him? You seem like too nice a man to do that. But, you know, white line fever and all. You could have been terrible.

You had when I stopped over the white line, I was a different man, different beast, different animal. Now, definitely, I think while winding up players is part of the game, if you know that somebody got a weak temperament and can be get sent off, then that's part of the gamesmanship. And I think I agree that Fred is a player that whether it be from his first touch, take over in his first touch and knock it down a bit of a touch, touch, touch chuckle.

There are something he does quite regularly and he backs up the fouls. And I think he should have been sent off before that just for the on the basis of like two yellow cards.

And how would you rile someone up? Would you just be kicking them without the ref saying or would you be telling them how bad they were at football?

Yeah, no, I didn't do much talking. I think it's definitely like the niggly fouls, you know, just little when you go in for a tackle, you kind of leave one on them a little bit and you just know that they just get wound up in the end. And that's what kind of wines my wife and I are talking. Yeah, I wasn't a big talker when on the pitch.

Were there any people that you came across in your career who were big talkers and were good for that kind of thing? Yeah.

Michael Doyle, that if you remember him, a little Irish midfielder. I think he's now in this county. He had me and him used to go constantly.

You always had something to say throughout the whole game is always talk and tell me about I was a bit player and yeah, we used to always guy, but he was a big talk on the future of the team.

We have a player called Ed who's his his way of getting under opponent's skin is to just go up to them and call them Poppit and it's worse and worse a couple of times a real tree.

And they just can't they can't get their head in the game after that.

It's really affected. But to the this game, I think this is this is going to sound really stupid, but I interested to hear what you think about it when you see a map like sprinting clear and when you see Neymar doing it.

Especially by so fast, it sort of feels to me amazing that defenses can ever stop them, like they're like you sort of think they're so quick. And obviously, if a defense is deep, it's harder. But there's just something about it that makes me think they should just be better than they are. Is that a ludicrous observation that I should have edited out? Or is that does that merit conversation?

Well, are you saying they don't score enough goals that they should score every single time they get the ball?

I don't know. I just thought it's a feat of amazing defending that that anyone can ever stop them. I don't know. Vendors are also very quick these days, I mean, the gap might be the gap is actually quite, quite small. Obviously, they're quicker, but, you know, these data vendors are also extremely quick. There was one stage during the game where he was clean through and side footed the ball wide of the far post when he put the firearm on him to score.

But I can't remember who the defender was that was chasing him. There wasn't that much in it, you know. And I do remember thinking, crikey, I thought he would have scorched further clear of the defender, but he didn't.

Maybe it goes back to that. I really would love to see, you know, a full heats, you know, endless heats of 100 meter sprints for all the footballers just to see, you know, how much quicker and bapa than Harry Maguire.

Archie, you're looking confused.

You know that Chilian Barbet has gone nine consecutive games without scoring in the Champions League. Yeah, well, that's Matt.

He should have. He's really, really fast at Running United.

Still lead the group, but they PSG, RB, Leipzig all have nine points that after Leipzig four three win in Istanbul, they needed Archi. It was fun, wasn't it?

It was a lot of fun and. The way that they threw away the three one lead in the second half was a little bit strange as well. I think when you see a side collapse in terms of that scoreline, you'd expect it was because of some ragged, nervous defending. But actually, Koichi, who scored a hat trick for Bashiqa here, he scored three goals from outside the penalty area.

And the final one he scored five minutes from time was a free kick over the wall. And just it is the most satisfying way for the ball to go in just clipping the bar on the underside and with just such power.

But then something even more remarkable happened, which is that Alexander Zeolite scored for, ah, Belichick. Now, this is a name that will be familiar to Crystal Palace fans and indeed was familiar to the entire into to the whole of Turkey as well, because he was top scorer last year in in Turkish top flight. But he had not scored in nearly nine hours for RB Leipzig.

Since he's not quick enough, we say he just just needs to be faster and he can go.

Well, he does he does have a certain lumbering quality to him. I was talking about him with with Norwegian expert Lars Ibbitson and saying how. If you compare him to Earling Holanda, the man who he plays up front with, the Norway Holland you think would run through a door, would throw himself through the door to to score a goal, and Zola would knock politely on the door and wait. He's just got this thing of the ball seems to hit him in the penalty area.

In fact, just before he scored last night that there came a free kick came in and it smacked him in the face and it hit the ball. And he thought this this sums up the way things have been going for you. But then he comes up with the winner, which he strikes pretty centrally from 20 yards out. Has to say he uses the defender quite well to shield it and likes it come away with the win. I think this this game against United is going to be interesting because of how they played Old Trafford.

There is a real point to prove. But the fact that RB Leipzig have to go away to buy in this weekend in what is a very big game in the Bundesliga, chance to overtake being at the top, you wonder what that might take out of them in terms of emotionally and and in terms of energy. But in the end, a very good win for like they have to pick out Danny Olmo as well to Germany apart the other week in that six no win for Spain.

And he's looking very good indeed as well.

Just on that hat trick from Karachi, only the third player in music history to score a hat trick, but still lose the game after Ronaldo for Real Madrid against Manchester United in 2003 and Gareth Bale for Spurs against Inter in 2010. And the first player to score a hat trick of goals from outside the box in a Champions League game since September 2004, when Wayne Rooney did it three times against Fenerbahce.

Let's cover the other German side here. Archi Dortmund one Latza one. The draw enough for Dortmund to make it to the last 16. They needed Roman Burki to make a great save in injury time.

How is how is that a penalty for Lazio? I can't I can't believe that anyone in the forum has ever been to a football match before.

Was it Milankovitch. It is. Who just fell out. It is.

It's it's so maddening. More pertinently, it was the Spanish Mike Dean refereeing last night in Matteo, Laos, who seems to relish any time he seems to know when the cameras on him. There seems to be a certain quality that that comes out in him. And I have no idea why he didn't even look at this again on on Vall. He in fact, he didn't give it up first. And then he believed his linesman's words so much that he was like, I don't need to have a look at this, but there are two replays in there.

And I know everything looks a lot more obvious when you slow it down to super slow mo. But I Milankovitch Savitch just takes off as soon as the ball's pass negotiables so I can understand why Dortmund are frustrated. But at the same time, Dortmund did not show up for the second half. So my sympathy with them is is pretty low. And the biggest talking point for Dortmund right now is the fact that Earling Holland is going to be out until January, which any lingering title raise hopes that they had not that Dortmund would profess them publicly.

I think that that could be a big problem, because without him, they that looks to be a struggle to create chances.

And also the fact that Max Hummels went off needed assistance to get into the into the dressing room from from two members of staff as well. After taking a pretty hefty blow from former Dortmund player Jiro Mobileye on the ankle, that that's very problematic as well, because without Hormel's Dortmund are not the same team at the back.

And yeah, you're looking at a situation now where the season is threatening to fall apart. Jaiden Sanjo has not he didn't start last night. He's not been looking as nearly as as dangerous as in previous seasons. Perhaps something to do with the fact he's not been playing on the left hand side where he had the majority of his success last season. But Hans-Joachim Vaska also said that he thought the whole Manchester United transfer saga had played a role in it, messing with his head a bit.

But yeah, the Dortmund right now, I wouldn't say that the prospects are particularly bright, even though they qualified last night.

Yeah, Dortmund are basically through one of last year. Brous will join him after Bruges three when I visited. I mean, I quite enjoyed that best center forward in the world right now conversation that we had briefly yesterday. Gianni, where would you put our finger? Hollande in that Luling. Hertz, what did I say that is that yes. I said, where would you go out? And then in the best sense of words.

It's not as bad as last Saturday on the radio where I, I said with full conviction that the first goal scorer in Arsenal Bulls would be Miguel Angel.

You I'm not sure. I'm not sure how he'd work in the press for worlds, to be honest. Where do you put Earling, Brett Hall and Johnny in best center forward right now?

Well, we we've just had to submit all our entries or kind of nominations for the, like, The Guardian's male supporters of the year, which I think is going to be coming out in the next few weeks. And I've had Holland had hole in the top 10, which I think Lewandowsky was was one, Messi was two, and Bapi a name all were both in the ISO.

So I think I'd have him in the top five in terms of strikers and you could argue about it all day.

I just have so transformative for that for that Dortmund team. And he gives them. I think he gives them something as one of the all the goals that he scored is certainly slightly indefinable. She gives them this sort of veneer of indomitability. They sort of tend to like using the word swagger because I think it's slightly overused. But there we go, swagger and. He's as well as all the technical things he does brilliantly. He's got this incredible mentality which, like anyone who who kind of worked with him will tell you who saw him coming through the ranks, that that this mentality is what is the sort of thing that turns good teams into elite team.

You know, it's not quite happened for him, is not what happened for Dortmund yet. But he's he's one of those strikers that transformed the team rather than simply produces for them.

Marcus, where do you have him in your in your list that I've forced you to think about with one second?

You have you have I'll probably go number three behind Lewandowski and Cain, but I think he's going to be one of the greatest strikers to play the game, to produce. What he's doing at his age is phenomenal. And he's only just going to get better. So, yeah, no free for me. Archie, while you're here, let's talk about the Bundesliga. You mentioned this you know, this blow for Dortmund is a blow for the title race in general.

I mean, Bayern are looking like by and look.

Is that fair? Not necessarily. Actually, I was I got to the weekend to see them play. And I have to say that Byan didn't really create the same number of chances that they had been doing earlier in the season. And I spoke to the coach, Hansie Fleck, after the game. And one of the things he was saying was that they are struggling a bit because of not having the same time to to train and and work on things tactically.

So they're still having to rely on on the work they did before the season began and even then by and didn't have all that much time. That said Manuel Neuer, who made a mistake at the weekend, I thought he has been in excellent form. On the whole, he got a rest against Atletico Madrid in the Champions League, as did Robert Lewandowski, which I think was a nod towards this game against Leipzig. That two points ahead of them going into this.

And you would think that unless Leipzig win and and even so, I think for that to be excitement in this Bundesliga title race, it needs it needs RB Leipzig to win in this game. But yeah, I think by. And have I spoke to Thomas Muller as well after after the game against Stuttgart and he looked very tired and and that's unusual because there's always a bit of pep to Thomas Muller. There's always you can always see him kind of bubbling away.

And I think it says something when the guy who Hansie Flick is described as his extended arm on the pitch is is looking so forlorn that the fact that he made nine changes against Atletico in the Champions League tells you that biner may be lacking a little bit physically right now. But you did get a great line out of Thomas Merton, you're very much the only wise to Thomas Miller's Eric Morcom.

If you say so, yeah. Here, he confides. He compared Stuttgart, playing away at Stuttgart to the cold, windy night in Stoke. Except that it wasn't windy. And Stuttgart is not stokers, as he pointed out.

Barry, are you just wondering, BT Sports Des Kelly became the story at the weekend for his frank exchange of views with the European Club about TV scheduling in your role as a reporter Postma interrogator.

Has anyone ever had a right go at you?

Not yet. I'm going to say not yet. I don't I don't think the circumstances have quite been there. But you live on the edge a little bit. I see. It is my role to try and to try and get on with them as best as possible, because that way I can I can find out more things that I don't know.

But but yeah, I think that the situation that as Kelly was working in, I think it was only to write what the he that he he said what he said because.

Yeah, I think that he put his side of the argument well and I think he was prepared and yeah, you you certainly have to prepare for all arguments that that may come up and. Yeah. But as of yet, Barrie, no one snapped at me.

I was thinking in England game for Australian telly and I think Raheem Sterling scored a hat trick or something.

And Harry Kane came up and I made I tried to make some gag about how Harry Kane the disaster because he was miles behind Raheem Sterling and, you know, the goalscoring, you know, Charr or whatever, top goalscorers for further qualification and how he just, you know, he just didn't he like scoring goals and he likes being tough on those. And he didn't it didn't work.

Basically, there's some things you don't joke about with Harry Kane.

One one more question before you full a minute. Tom says, hi, Archie. I'm worried about Sebastian Hallah. He looks so sad.

I was excited when he signed, but I fear he regrets his movement is not enjoying being a lone target man. Was he alone striker for Frankfurt? Was he happy or does he naturally have a sultry demeanour at Frankfurt?

He was part of an attacking line up called the the three bulls in Lukashevich A. Bitch and Sebastian hello was the third. And he benefited from having quick players around him where he could lay the ball off. And I think that the majority of the system was was based around him. I've not seen enough of him at West Ham, but I know that my friends who support West Ham are a little bit disappointed. But yeah, I would have expected him to relish that physical battle or that that you would expect him to have in the Premier League.

So, yeah, I think that at West Ham, he's he's probably he's probably not playing with it in a structure that is as geared towards him as it was a Eintracht Frankfurt.

But, yeah, it's a it's a shame to see him being so unhappy. Can I mention pretty much in Gladbach quickly.

So you're impacting your own Fullan? TONC Well, I'll just say that I thought they were the fact that they're on the brink still of qualifying from a group of from being in a group with Inter Ray Allen Shakhtar is quite something, albeit that they they were unhappy with some very hard decisions, again, against them. They had a goal chalked off later on from Alesund player, which would have been as Hatrick and they weren't able to get used to Ramallah, Lukaku rolling the defender, something that I believe he's done quite well before.

But yes, for them to even be going to Real Madrid with a chance of qualifying is is testament to the work that market Rose has done. But a lot of German teams, apart from Bayern, have have a somewhat tragic quality in Europe of of being able to kind of go out in this heroic fashion. And I fear the same for Gluba next week in Madrid. All right. That'll do for part one. Archie, thanks.

No, no. Are you saying I go full? Well, listen, we got some criticism yesterday, Barry, didn't we?

But you've done some maths.

Well, somebody criticised us for only devoting fifteen seconds to forelimbs win over Leicester and being at a loose end.

I got the stopwatch out and we actually did one minute and fifty nine seconds on forelimbs win over Leicester City, so. By all means, criticize us, but at least be fair to go on then 60 seconds.

OK, so firstly, Max, I remember you saying that this Fullam side might struggle to get the same amount of points as Derby. And albeit I would I would say you're correct if the same side which played the first three games of the season was still playing. But the fact that in the game against Leicester, only two of the team that started the play off final against Brentford are in the team right now. It it shows you that there have been a lot of changes that that's an entirely new back for.

And goalkeeper and Andre Frank Zambo and Geisa, your new favorite player, when he plays right now, he shines and Fullam, I think, have a chance of staying up. And I didn't think I'd be saying that a few months ago. And the fact is, the game against Leicester was a bigger, high point than the entire 18, 19 season as well. So it's there's a lot more hope. But have you seen who our next two games are, Man City and Liverpool.

So you'll be right that that hope could be dampened very shortly. But I, I've, I, I think I think we're going to beat the Derby points. TitleMax OK, I hope you think you Archie, thanks for coming on to be there in Cologne.

And that'll do for part one. We'll come back and discuss Oliviers Uru.

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Welcome to Part two of The Guardian Football Weekly, Severe Neil Chelsi for Peter Drury said this was pretty close to Utopia on Jiru.

Frank Lampard set the utopia that you'd like. Johnny, I saw you laughing.

It's not not not like this jury, is it? Who said to make an entirely overblown and disproportionate. I take that like wow really.

I'm not so much fan Atsumi as my controversial football opinion particularly is terrible. I remember Leeds Arsenal Leeds Cup game about ten years ago. I was commentating on and I think it's given away penalty in the last game and they gave away a penalty in this game. And I said like lightning strikes twice, albeit 200 miles apart. And that doesn't make sense, but I'll take it against him ever since then.

Now on Giroux, who scored four, including a perfect Hendrickx, Frank Lampard, said after the game, he's up there with great French individuals. I will give any of you a pound if you can come up with the three French individuals. Producer Joel suggested he should be up with, you know, with the great, great, great individuals such as X, Y and Z. What did producer Joel put in the script?

Claude Monet, Marcel Marceau and Jacques Cousteau?

Kate Marcus, you'll never guess, right? I can't think of three French.

I'll start with Jacques Chirac.

OK, Zinedine Zidane. Yeah. And Lilyan. Sure.

OK, Gianni. I'll say Louis Pasteur. Yeah. Gerard Depardieu and. Isabel Hooper, to be honest, Marcus, not knowing three Frenchmen could have actually been useful here, he suggested Napoleon, Marie Antoinette and Picasso.

Now he wrote Picasso with such a great Picasso, with such conviction that I had to double check. I'm pretty sure he's Spanish, but. But now he's written. I'll check. So anyway, no one wins a pound, Marcus. I don't really know what else to say about Olivier Giroux. He's just he's such a joy. I feel we've given him so much air time considering he doesn't play much, you know. So there are so many players that play week in, week out every minute in the Premier League who we probably haven't mentioned once in the last three years, let alone this season.

And we've talked about so much. But you can't not talk about him after that performance now is sublime.

Four unbelievable finishes.

And I've had quite a big argument in my WhatsApp group in a minute about who's the best backup striker in the world. And my take was Jay-Z. He's my man city. And everyone else was saying, dude, so I'm taking a lot of powers at the moment after that four goals by him, because he he he what he's got is that he's got this tremendous ability to hold up the ball and attack crosses. And that is kind of dying in the game at the moment, the ability to hit the ball in the box.

And that's what he brings to the team. And he's unfortunate to be starting more games because I personally think he's a better option as a starter than Tommy Abrahams. But he's just he's just a wonderful footballer. These first touches sublime for someone this size. I know, like I said, a lot, but is excellent.

So I'm a big fan of this kind of this has always been this slight misconception about Jeremy, that he's just this big lump upfront, you know, who kind of heads it and crappers and use it elbows and nudges it and diverts it and then and Burkle's ugly goes. But I mean, if you see some of the that the movement for for his for his two goal, the second and third goals, it's so like it's art, it's intricate. Like he sort of he zigzags, runs, he curves, runs, he stops and then starts and and he sort of he finds runs.

He will sort of fall a defender into into thinking that that you're marking when he's not there. Is this what we're on the subject of of of Depardieu. So there's a bit in Latonia Metro where he talks about how he gets past these two German gods. And he says, I looked at one and I turned towards the other. So they both thought they had they both thought the other one had me. And that's kind of what he does. He sort of gets in between defenders in a way that they both think they're mocking him.

But actually, neither of them are. And there's there's a there's a real artistry to that.

He's like those great French artists, you know, Michelangelo, Salvador Dali, Jackson Pollock, like Turner as well. Yeah. Barry, do you want to add anything to the jury lawin?

You know, we might as well have a go up.

Just there were three goals for the Hatrick. They're just so clever. You are. None of them were particularly straightforward. And yet he dispatched all three expertly wonderful touches, the first one to get the ball onto his left foot. The second one did basically the Gerard Depardieu move. Jonathan alluded to, you know, feigns to shoot, you know, makes it easy to use with the defender and draws the goalkeeper just one little shimmy and lifts the ball over him and the third and just his userspace get in between the two defenders.

And I mean, I can't think of many who were a better header of a ball than him, and it could easily put that ball over the crossbar. But but you kind of knew he wouldn't. And then his penalty was was a beauty as well.

You wonder if Depardieu would have a good touch for a big man? I'm not sure I.

I know a story about him, which is not for on air, but I will tell you afterwards, it is quite extraordinary.

Olivia Drew, the first Chelsea player, a school for girls in a game since Frank Lampard in March 2010 against Villa.

He's the first to get four in a Chelsea European Cup Champions League game ever.

It's quite interesting you say that, Alex, because when it was put to Frank Lampard after the game, his response was kind of like my response when you asked me the question about Edinson Cavani is like, well, Frank, you were the last Chelsea player to score four goals in a game.

And he just sort of thought briefly went, yeah, hey, I'm never going to stop asking you question cul de sacs, Barry. It's something I enjoy doing tremendously.

And the other game, Krasnodar ran one nil Russian team winning in a European competition for the first time in eighteen attempts this season.

I actually watched that game, this oblivious to the fact that RB Leipzig. And who was it, Istanbul, BoSox, Istanbul, POSIX, who was serving up an absolute classic, just one channel away?

It was. I was making my dinner and I just. Oh, the football's on. I'll put it on. And that happened to be the game that came on. So I started watching. Then it kind of got sucked into it. And then suddenly it was over and it had been really dull.

And I went, why did I watch that in the other group baseliner? And you've had through you've a three dynamo, Kiev nil. Cristiano Ronaldo scoring his 700 fiftieth career goal, one of his worst. Maybe he'll catch Pele's record, real record of a thousand goals.

Does anyone have a favorite Ronaldo goal?

I seem to remember one for Manchester United from about a mile away that just kept getting quicker and quicker. It was like a sort of utterly ludicrous finish.

Does anyone have a Ronaldo goal that springs to mind?

Yeah, the one Noni took off him. I can't I can I remember that very I know about it 1990 was offside and only it was going in relationships. Then Anthony was at the far post, just just headed it on live from two inches and he was offside. And Renaldo took this with his customary good grace.

Of course he did. Anyway, it it's quite a good record, isn't it? 750. You can't knock it, lads.

Also in that game, Stephanie Frappé became the first woman to referee a Champion's League game. I make a confession.

I spoke to Junior Lauren yesterday. I don't know if that's allowed given the pod wars, but he said above anything else, she's just a brilliant referee.

And so another notable French individual. Absolutely. That producer, Joel, admitted to many.

But who is your favorite French referee?

I mean, it's got to be kaleena for me or maybe Anders Prisk, I don't know, Pharis verus nil, Barcelona three Greaseman with a lovely finish and Braithwaite getting another one as well.

So yeah they're both through that will do for part two. Part three. We'll look ahead to a big weekend of football in the best league in the world, the Premier League. At Audi, we know some drivers go to extremes to show they love their car, while now there's an easier way. Introducing the all new Audi service subscription enjoy to Audi services, plus a full vehicle health check, 12 months, roadside assistance, wiper blade replacement and much more.

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Welcome to Part three of The Guardian Footwell Weekly. It's the North London Derby on Sunday. Josie says Harry Kane might be injured, but he might not be injured. Is that mindgames or not? Are Arsenal fans dreading this North London derby? Do you think, Marcus? I just I mean, as a someone who wants Tottenham to win, I dread I think Spurs fans are dreading equally, even if Tottenham are top of the league.

Yeah, I think Arsenal fans are definitely dreading this. I think the form has been awful coming into this game defensively. The cracks are showing there as well, as well as going forward, going forward, the lack of transcreation is being something that Arteta really needs to address. They're lacking any spark or any sort of team cohesion going forward. So I can't see anything but a Spurs win. Think Spurs have been very good coming into this, even though second half against Chelsea, I was a bit disappointed with their performance.

I think that they've got a really good chance of winning this game and I think they're going to be in with a shot at the title this year.

I'm Johnny Tottenham, you know, against Citi and Chelsea played a very specific way while Arsenal, our team, are not as good. So did Tottenham have to change how they approach it?

I don't I don't necessarily think so. I mean, if you are if you are going to produce kind of a bespoke tactic from that game, you'll you'll be wary of Arsenal also threaten the counter. And the fact that for all that they could have their troubles of late, they are still theoretically quite hard to break down. And so I don't I don't think for all the the expectations on Tottenham to to win the game and attack and go at them, I don't necessarily think that they are going to throw the kitchen sink.

It might be another cautious game, like much like the Chelsea game was, because if you look at Arsenal's, what would have been Arsenal's best result or best game since since lockdown ended the first one and it's the semi-final against City, it's the FA Cup final against Chelsea. It's the Old Trafford, it's the win over Liverpool. I hope they they they have actually haven't been turned over in a lot of these big games. They've actually put some of their best performances against the teams that are on their level or above their level.

And I think I think Tottenham will be wary of that.

Aston Villa Newcastle's called off, Bell says with Newcastle game on Friday being postponed, is this the most excited Barry has been for Newcastle fixture this season?

Can we expect him to dig into the archives for the standard summary regardless of the game not being played?

Well, I did hear a debate on the radio yesterday with some Veilleux fans were suggesting they should get the points if Newcastle were unable to field a team because apparently up to ten of their squad have tested positive for covid. So I think that would be unfair. I mean, that could be have been a real problem if either team was involved in the European football rescheduling it. But they will be able to fit it in somewhere. Uh, but yeah, it's unfortunate, I suppose.

But these things happen.

Well, actually, the question to you is, are you happier that there isn't a game on Friday night so you don't have to watch a game on Friday night?

I am happier because I have now made plans to go and visit some friends for an evening of fine wine and nice food.

Burley by Everton. Barry, you're your exercised or interested or are you by Burnie's possible takeover? Um, well, I suppose it's mildly interesting.

Matt Laughton in The Times today said Burnley are currently the subject of two takeover bids. One by an American sports investment firm is is rumored to be the favourite to go through. I think two hundred million is the figure mentioned. And they would buy, um, my garlick, the current chairman's forty nine percent stake and John Biju with twenty eight percent share. So Matt seems to think that could go through before the next transfer window opens.

And considering Burnley only bought one player for a million quid during the last window, it would presumably mean Sean Dyche would have some money to spend.

And then he does need some new players because Burnley are an absolute mess at Carlos and Charlie's first game in charge of Everton was against Burnley last Boxing Day and they won one nil. And, uh, I you know, Burnley really need to start picking up points. Yeah, I'm all for Burnley getting more investment if if the people are nice.

But I'd hate to think they'd ever step away from.

Two big target men like I'd hate to think they'd have enough money to to change the style of football, and that's a constant in life that I enjoy seeing Ashley Barnes and Chris put together, who I think are both good footballers.

Just to just to be clear about this, if they get money in in January, they'll buy Yankalilla and Robert do and ask, OK, some other interesting games, West Ham and United looks like an interesting one.

And Chelsea Leeds, also Liverpool will on the Sunday fans are back in stadiums.

Everybody sorry. Can I can I controversially venture an opinion which I suspect is not going to be shared by many? I think Fulham will get something against Manchester City on Saturday afternoon. So the SC had yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. But, you know, you are you've ventured a kind of a daring opinion. I mean, there are points for that. And so it's very easy for us all to sit here and scoff at you and go like, oh, yes.

Well, we actually we do. We think much of the city will be full of it. So so it's the cowardly but also probably the right opinion. But you've got you on the daring but also probably wrong opinion.

So I presume I mean, I hope you're aware of Barry's most daring opinion, which was sorry to repeat it, but it's always been good. Christian Benteke being the leading scorer in a World Cup, even though he wasn't selected in the squad to be.

That's daring.

And now fans are back in Ground's Sky Sports reported that within one minute of Carlisle, Salford kicking off, fans were already booing the referee. So that is tremendous, isn't it? You know, it's good to see them back, isn't it?

I, I don't know how you feel about it. I sort of feel. That it's an important step in the right direction, but I personally don't want to go back until it's all like it used to be.

I think so you're you're venturing the controversial opinion, Max, that fans being at football matches this is a good thing?

No, I think it's a good thing. I just don't have any. There's no one in my bubble, which is my wife. There's no money in the world I could give her that would make her go to a football match.

And I don't want to go on my own because football matches quite a lot of football matches are boring.

And it's the conversation that you have with the people you're with about life or the game or whatever. You know, it's a shared memory, isn't it?

And I think if I sat on my own, I'd just be like, well, I. I know how boring football matches are. I've been to loads of them.

What does that famous quote from Bobby Robson about, you know, the child, his hand being held by his dad, and he walks up the steps and sees the pitch for the first time and falls in love. Perhaps that's what would happen. The current Mrs. Rushden, if you approached her, she'd see that green rectangle at the abbey. Yeah, okay.

You know, I mean, I watched our defeat. We lost one nil to Mansfield last night. I was utterly I was getting so furious with the referee, even though I'm just really biased, like all football fans, he probably quite a good game.

But when the when the players came out and and the crowd applauded, I just I did find that quite emotional. I was like, oh, that's really quite that's quite moving. It's great to see, you know, fans are back and like 2000 in the abbey sort of looks.

The right amount, they look socially distant enough, but it looks enough to be busy, right? It doesn't look weird, you know, 2000 at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium on Sunday. Will that weird, won't it? But by by the same token, I don't want to go on my own. You know, it's just a stay of and I don't know.

Yeah, I saw the some of the pictures from Carlisle where they did see, like, really obviously they'd gathered people. That's what people do. They they they gather and they congregate. And I think and then I saw some of the photos from from Wickham where they were all sort of perfectly, perfectly well spaced because, you know, it's it's heated.

And, you know, there's always going to be what's happened with this with this second lockdown. Is it I mean, talking to friends and things like that, people are basically taking the risk into their own hands because they've been so little clarity or leadership from from anyone in power that people are people have been sort of left to make their own assessment on it. And so I guess, you know, if your wife doesn't feel comfortable going to going to football, but some people will write and and that's that's, I guess, the decision that everyone has to take.

I mean, I like I like to welcome that. About a minute before I read that a minute before kickoff, they put an announcement out with saying, like there's somebody left a Toyota outside, the person who's left the Toyota with this registration plate. Go and get it.

So you've waited nine months to go to your first football game and a minute before kickoff, you have to go and move your car.

That is great. I mean, I saw Jordan Brian was doing Channel four news from Adam's Park. I mean, he wasn't hosting the whole thing. I think there was some bigger news stories than a few thousand people being in Wickham. But he was doing his live report, just where the Wickham strikers were doing their shooting practice before the game. And some of their shots were going wildly close to it, really.

I mean, they were striking the ball beautifully. Just come on one of these, you know, the villa fans absolutely desperate for one of these to just absolutely crack him.

And you could be sure they were aiming for him.

So Stephen says you would have seen a lot of people have just got their Spotify list for the most listened to things. Thanks to everybody for which this podcast is the most listened to thing. Stephen says. I just wanted to say, according to Spotify, if it were weekly is my most recently podcast. Thank you for all the time I've had listening to you, Barry, all your guests. Please give my team Olympiakos some love. We really need it for next week against Porto.

We all hope he win. EU says Spotify tells me you're mine. Most listen to podcast. This is a time wasted or educational content.

I am somewhere in between, I would guess. And now, as you tweeted out, your most listened to songs and at the top was Carly Rae Jepsen.

Call me, wasn't it? Was it cool?

That's correct, yes.

That's because I had to listen to it over and over and over again to learn the lyrics.

So and I still I've forgotten to keep this campaign going, but there must be someone who listens to this pod, who knows someone who knows Carly Rae Jepsen.

Barry won't let me tweet out his Lip-Sync version of the song as he walks around the graffiti ridden streets of Brixton. It's something the world needs to see. So whoever knows someone who knows Carly Rae Jepsen, you have to ask her to politely give us permission.

No, it's not that I won't let you use that. You're legally forbidden because we don't have permission from Carly Rae, which okay, as we don't want to get sued by Carly Rae Jepsen.

Would be a strange case, wouldn't it? Barry, you wanted to mention Ohio.

Yeah, well, we've had some email correspondence from an irate listener in Ohio who's taken exception to John Bruyn's comments about leatherjackets with things like Ohio Motorcycle Club, you know, a big logo on the back. So it's from Steven Wynn who says, Dear sirs, my home state was the butt of a cheap joke on yesterday's pod. Please be advised that Ohio is the home of five presidents, the Wright brothers, 25 astronauts and the Ohio State University. Thank you, Barry, for not stooping to the level of your colleagues.

P.S. If you need a US state reference for a joke, please use Arkansas.

Oh, right. So I'm not I'm not having Ohio State University. Every state's got a state university.

It's like saying, you know, the county's got like that, the county or the county town hall as one of its you know, I would also argue that having 25 astronauts is not a particularly good it just because they want to get as far away from as possible from Ohio.

So they grow up wanting to be astronauts.

I'm not I'm not sure how successful this has been in apologizing to the people of Ohio, this short section.

Who's your favorite? Ohayon I mine is probably Picasso.

But and final question to all of you from Jonathan, which is related to Twitter, Paul Barry put out yesterday.

How often do you change your bed linen, Marcus?

All four days, four days, yes, twisting either once a week, man, John, Lou, I've got to be shamefully I have a reminder in my phone to to to remind me to change it every Sunday night. Otherwise I will forget. But the little thing comes out. I'll put the put the veggie boxes out because you have to a matchboxes, you have to leave the empties outside and don't change the bedding. Barry, twice a week, Sunday nights and after every midweek pod, so whether it's Tuesday or Wednesday.

OK, what do you do after the midweek pod that meets you need to. I stand up from a chair and see my badge. Anyway, that'll do for today. Thank you, everybody. Thanks, Marcus.

Thanks to your spouse. Thank you. I said Chaz instead of tears just to shorten that, to say it so many times. Chastise, right. We'll be back on Monday.

Oh.

For more great podcasts from The Guardian.

Just go to the Guardian dot com slash podcasts.