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Search Sky Stream today. New customers only, 12 month minimum term requires broadband. The regime available eighth of April. Further terms apply. What's up, gigglers? Gary, fix your WiFi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me.

What's up, my Gaelic gigglers? Gaelic is the Irish language. Yes.

It's so funny you say that because I found myself in the parade yesterday, which is my worst nightmare.

We know parades are the end of time is me stuck in a parade.

I'm so happy you said that, Hannah, because I'm literally on the phone with Craig last night, and I was like, I got stuck in the fucking parade.

No, Craig loves parades.

He goes, How fun. Did you watch? I go, What?

People who watch parades are actually crazier than the people in the parade. That's something to be said. No, that's still- At least in the parade, you're a doer.

Because half the time, I feel like people that are in the parades, it's contractually, and we also have to do this fucking parade.

Like your boss was like, You got to be in the parade. It's two hours, but We'll give you lunch.

The police officers, they're like, No, we have to do it every year.

The people watch the parade. What do you think you're going to see? It's just people walking.

He was like, Are you not going to take your children to parades? And all the kids are going to go.

Let's not bring our unborn children into this.

I go, First of all, how will they know parades are a thing if I never tell them?

I once started a new friendship with these girls in New York City, and they were like, Hey, let's watch the Halloween parade. I thought they were kidding. So I went to the apartment, and then they were like, Let's go. Then I dipped three minutes in because I was like, This is unsafe. I don't like this energy. I think we had a miscommunication earlier in the week, and I never spoke to them again.

No, that's stranger danger. You had an immediate gut feeling. You were like, I need to find a safe space because these people are not safe.

I just don't like tons of people in general.

I don't like when men organize things and then carry it out.

Parades are homophobic.

Parades are homophobic.

Except the gay pride parade. The gay pride parade.

But I feel like that's more of a performance.

It's performance. It's entertaining. That's the one parade people are allowed to support.

Yeah, I'm fine with that. There's a few parades in the summer that I also New Yorkers are crazy.

If there's any parade, it could be for the greatest cause, and New Yorkers would be like, I'm in fucking traffic because of the stupid Save the Children fucking parade.

It's parade musicals. It's like, if you want to piss me off, it's a musical day parade.

Not to completely go back into our mental health therapy from last week, but if those are your two biggest fears and hates, why did you find someone who it's their favorite loves? Is it because want to see life from a new perspective?

I think it's I like watching the joy seep out of men. I like to watch their smiles go to a frown. When he says he really loves something, I love turning and saying, That's funny because I hate that.

Speaking of dating men, I have some stats. I'm about to be a woman in stem right now, but I saw on Instagram, Shakira said something basically about, You know she disappeared for a while? Yeah.

Then It was the whole jelly thing.

She found out the jam, jelly thing. Then she came out with a diss track, and then she did the Super Bowl. During the eight, nine years she was dealing with this man, she was like, he pretty much ruined my career. Then I was like, that sounds like Kelly Clarkson. Kelly Clarkson, who is now in a battle, but she basically looks amazing, feels amazing, doing well because she doesn't have a man's.

He was suing her for a ton of money. I don't think he won, though.

I don't think so. See you in court.

Mandy Moore. Was in a very abusive relationship. People talk about that.

You wonder why people disappear? See who they're with. It's sad, but it's true that if you're looking for a relationship, it's not always the healthiest thing. They do say the happiest or the most successful people are unmarried women.

No, there's a legitimate statistic that when men and women get married, the men's life- The men get more successful. Their quality of life goes significantly up and ours goes significantly down. That's just science because, yeah, they are now moving into a home where everything's clean, everything's esthetic. There's a refrigerator with more than just ketchup. Their minds are blown. We get in that situation and we're like, towels literally don't go on the door. Towels don't go over the door.

I do have to say because I can't be fake. Maybe it's my form of feminism. I've decided that I'm going to take on the male I don't cook. I put the towel on the door.

I take my clothes- Do you put the towel on the door?

I mean, it's lucky if it gets to the door, it's on the floor. I take my clothes off wherever I'm standing and I leave it. I eat food and I leave it. It's this empowering thing that I do where it's like, It's not my job?

No. Because guess what?

Mom is working.

No, I will say I never cook. And Craig is the whole cook.

Who knows? Maybe if I have kids, one day this side of me will come out where I could see myself being like, I would love to cook a nice meal for them. I have it in me. I've done it before.

No, I'm going to be obsessed with cleaning their room and making all their shit perfect. Because that's an accessory. I actually, speaking of, saw this We saw this meme, and it was just a thought starter. The man in the relationship makes $180,000 a year. His girlfriend, who he lives with, makes $40,000 a year. Their rent each month is $3,000 a month. The question is, how should we split the $3,000 a month rent? Obviously not 50/50 because she simply can't afford it. But what's a fair split, you think?

I actually saw this, and it was very interesting. I feel like first you let him decide. You give it to him. He can say if he wants to pay it because, let's be honest, we're fighting the patriarchy, the wage gap. She's taking care of all that shit. But if he's like, I'd like you to pay some, okay, then you figure out what you feel comfortable with. Bethany Frankl jokes. Actually, I don't know if it's a joke. She says, My money is my money and your money is my money.

I wholeheartedly agree.

There's something to be said, and we're not trying to be like, men deserve money. But the wage gap is real. It's so much harder for me to earn. Think about even the top 10 actors of the year. Two out of 10 were women. Right. Wow. The directors, it was like... I'm throwing out crazy stats, and this is not even true.

No, this is a financial podcast.

It was 10% female directors. We are behind in this stuff. I think If you're making that money, bro, pay for some shit.

I, first of all, was like, Leave in the middle of the night, change your name and your cell phone number, because that's-For him asking this question. That's insane. I think it's insane to even ask her. I think he should pay all the rent, and then he should be like, You get the Netflix subscription. It should be- I also feel like when there's different points, because I've had so many different points in my life where I think of my roommates where I was with these finance guys and they were making the most and I was making the least.

They treated me to drinks when we went out. They always gave me this smaller room. It was that stuff. Now that I'm making more money, I I'm treating them. It's this nice understanding. Ecosystem. It's ecosystem. But money is the number one thing that causes a lot of issues in relationships.

Yeah, because we want it and they don't have it.

I do have to say money is a mindset. It comes and goes. It has its flows.

I don't know if it's a mindset.

It's pretty there. But we always say there is something to be said about when you you want something, just get it for yourself. You don't want them attached to it.

A hundred %. Right?

No. Once you can afford something for yourself, they taint it.

I need to tell my crazy manifestation apartment story.

Oh, my God. Yes.

Because this was a moment in time where I think I genuinely scared Craig. It was like it almost clicked.

He almost burnt you at the stake. He was like, Wait, I think you are a witch.

He got off FaceTime He was like, This is a little- I think you just put a spell on me.

Yeah.

He was like, This is a little unsettling. I was like, No, I know. If it didn't happen to me, I would never believe anyone that heard this story. I love this. When I first moved to New York City. I lived on the Upper West Side, and I used to walk by this building all the time and be like, I love that building. What a gorgeous building. So fucking cool, whatever. Fast forward, I move out of that apartment. This is five years ago. I move into my current apartment. Great, great, great. I'm looking to move into a new apartment. I found one. I was going to sign a lease. I have to be out in a couple of weeks. I'm really dragging this on. Got nervous. Like, Oh, something just doesn't feel right. I'm not signing this lease. But I wasn't like, Fuck, I need an apartment. I was like, I'll figure it out. I'm on the phone with one of my friends, and she was like, Oh, I'm looking for an apartment. She was like, Oh, one of my friends is a real estate agent. You should talk to him. I was like, I already have a real estate agent.

I've been looking. I just can't find anything.

That He said to me, Lower East Side Apartments, and I'm ignoring the text.

I'm ignoring all of them. I'm like, I'm not going to Lower East Side. It doesn't hurt to talk to him. I'm on the phone with him and I'm like, Here's my vision. I just want the most fabulous apartment you've literally ever seen. I wanted to be so girly, and I wanted to look like it's in France. I want the windows to be girly.

I want the handles to be girly.

I want you to envision just like marble. And he was like, Amazing. I've literally never seen that in New York City. But if I come across something, I will send it to you. And I was like, great. A couple of hours goes by. I'm on looking for apartments, and my mom says, What about that building you used to love on the Upper West Side? And I was like, I don't even remember what the name of that building was. I would never get an apartment in there. It just would never work out. Didn't even think about it. An hour later, I get a text message from this real estate agent sending me an apartment. He was like, Hey, I came across this. Thought you'd like it. I open it. I'm looking through it, and I'm like, Hmm, this is my apartment. I love it. I look at the map, it's in that building. What? Also for people who aren't from New York City, there are 4 trillion buildings in New York City.

No, there's 8 million apartments.

I'm like, There's just no way this is happening. I have to go see it tomorrow. I text him back. I'm like, I must go see this apartment in the morning.

I must. I love how you turned it to Eloise. I must go.

It's literally my dream apartment. I'm about to walk into the apartment. He gets me an appointment for the next morning, and he goes, Okay, before we walk in, seriously, poker face. Don't even act like you like it.

Be an adult. Wait, I'm so not in with the strategy of these things.

No, I'm so not in. I open the door, I walk in, I look at him and I go, I love it.

I'm obsessed with it. You just start piddling yourself. You just pee.

I started tearing up. I was like, No, this is my apartment.

You just started humping the refrigerator.

Now I'm telling Craig this story, and I'm like, I got the apartment. Wait, what? This is really scary. Now I'm going through in New York City. Now I have to get my first child. I have to get pregnant, give it to them to move into it. It's one of the most the same things ever.

Wait, what's the deal with playing a poker face? So the realtor doesn't try to charge you more?

To see if I could pay less rent a month. Oh, it's good, but...

Okay. I'm so bad with that shit.

I'm obsessed. I'll pay I'm over asking. I'll be honest.

If I don't like something, I'm like, Let's go. I walk in and I'll be like, This is for you,.

I'm just hoping that I have to go through a board process.

I'm annoyed because it is beyond gorgeous. I was showing my mom. My mom was like, This is beautiful. It's so you. But it's so far from me.

It couldn't be a further point.

From where we record the podcast, from everything you do in your life. But I do think that's very you. You're like, I will pick the uncomfortable heels because they look so good with this outfit. Where I'll be like, I don't care how beautiful the heels are. I don't want to be uncomfortable for four seconds.

I love the Upper West Side. People hate it.

It's chugy.

It's beyond chugy. It's a retirement home. No.

Are you going to bring back the Upper West Side, like how you're bringing back the poof.

Let's talk about how I'm single-handedly doing the poof. Let's talk. Let's. You know what? I thought you were going to have a different emotion behind this because... Wait. You know I have a No, but miss, I'll throw a clip in wherever the fuck I want. I feel like you would be excited to get the poof coming back. You know what?

I think I have PTSD because I was seventh grade. I had braces, acne. The poof literally was showing more of my forehead acne. It was just a weird time. I think I was getting bullied. I don't remember.

I just know that it was a difficult time. I don't know what you want me to do because I have banks now.

How is your relationship? Relationship with your banks? Because I do all these bits about banks and girls getting bangs and people are yelling out, Paige, is she okay? I'm like, Look, I can't speak for her.

Certainly not okay ever. I think first and foremost, we should get that out there. Really, the bangs thing for me, I could be- Are you having fun with them, though? I'm having fun with them. I love them.

Okay, amazing.

I think it's who I am now for at least the next couple of years. Years? I think so.

I love that. The only thing you like to commit to is- Hair. Hair.

Which grows back.

My favorite thing, though, is when you did that plastered on your forehead during Fashion Week. I thought that was so sick and cool. I love that.

Well, my hair grows so fast, so I always have to get my bang Oh, my God.

It's so hard for you. It's so much. She's like, My nails and my hair and my boobs, they're just not stopped growing.

That's why women shouldn't have to pay rent. Oh, speaking of, period update, the gigglers were so in my DMs. The gigglers are No, really worked up about it. No, really.

They were texting me and I was like, I don't know.

They were like, Please do not take that vitamin and please go to a different doctor. Thankfully, before I saw all these messages and before I even started taking that vitamin, I went to my natural doctor Okay. He was like, No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't take that. So he put me on this vitamin regimen to try and help my hormones. Honestly, I've only been on it for a couple of days, but I already feel...

How many vitamins do you have to take in the morning?

Do you feel like a- I take two in the morning. For my period, I take two in the morning and two at night. That's just for my period. But then I take four in the morning for my hair.

Someone was saying it's so embarrassing to get older because you're like, congrats on basic things, like you're getting your period to work or like, congrats, you slept for seven hours last night without having to pee.

No, it's so embarrassing. I also saw something that it was like, if you have a boss, isn't it low-key embarrassing asking for a day off?

No, it's like, Daddy.

Hey, do you actually think that I hate that?

No, but that boss shit is crazy. It's like dominatrix. The boss just get off on that shit. Like, Well, you got to ask me to get you. I'll get through me.

I would love how humbling if your husband has a boss and he has to ask his boss for something. What a great opportunity that is for you to make fun of him. That's an egg. Yeah. Like, Oh, you got to ask your dad if you can go.

No, I for sure- If they're ever pissing you off, bring that up.

Yeah.

Oh, good. Put them in the back of your head. I do have to I want to give an update from last week because let's address the elephant in the room. I did have an episode, and I feel like I can't just continue like nothing happened. You could. You can. We do a lot. We do a lot. But I do have to say the gigglers sent me some of the most heart-wrenching, beautiful messages, just literally being like, Hannah, we're here for you. We love you. Let it out. Like, vibes. I want to let the gigglers know how I recovered in a way. I went to my therapist that day right after, and she actually told me the coolest thing about anxiety because my thing is it became very physical where my brain was calming down, but my body was still...

Question, did you have trouble not seeing where you're like...

No, I was dizzy.

Yeah, where it's almost like you're like...

I was light-headed, and then I was nervous about putting senses together. I just like, freak the fuck out. I really lost my mind. You know what? Nothing stays. Some would say my mind is still lost, but it's a little better. My therapist told me to push on a wall. I know that sounds weird, but I was like, okay. Then she was like, no, really push. You're really putting all your muscle into pushing down this wall. All this internal nervousness, you almost put into the wall. So if anyone's having a freak out, just go to the bathroom and push on the stall.

I've also had therapists tell me, if you're starting to have a panic attack, make sure your feet are planted on the ground because sometimes it can ground you and to not be dizzy.

Then she also told me there's the breathing technique of you visualize a square and you breathe in for four, you hold for four, breathe out for four, hold for four. Navy Seals do it. Navy Seals do it. I was like, okay.

I'm just nervous about a fart joke. I feel like it's a bit dramatic. They get locked in cages and I'm just trying to get through the fucking day.

But it was crazy to me. I guess whenever something happens to me, I'm the only one that it's ever happened to and that I'm going through the hardest thing that could ever happen to a person, which is so annoying of me. It really pisses me off that I do this because I'm like, there's no possible way you're the only human in existence this has happened to.

I was dealing with a parade on Saturday, and you didn't think about me for a second.

No, I would have been so worried about you. That would have added to my anxiety. But it makes me think the girlies are out here just fighting for their lives, not telling people. We're so strong. The amount of girls that were like, Hannah, I had to freak out two days, too. It's okay.

It's also so crazy that at any moment in time, you could be looking at a girl and she could be having the craziest war inside of her brain. No, I'm crazy.

I'll be at an airport and I look at everyone and I'm like, Everyone's so at peace, except for me. Everyone is just loving their life when, meanwhile, we're all fighting our demons. Anyway, I appreciate that so much.

Hannah and I are always talking about finances and our taxes and how it's just really stressful. We don't I'm not going to go to jail for tax evasion. So one of the things when doing my taxes this year that I realized is I just overpay for things and double pay. So if you're like me and 75% of people, then you have subscriptions that you've forgotten about. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. With Rocket Money, you have full control over your subscription and a clear view of your expenses. Rocket Money has over 5 million users, and they've saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all the apps features. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney. Com/giggly Squad. That's rocketmoney. Com/giggly Squad. Rocketmoney. Com/giggly Squad.

Hi, it's Loretta here from the Tommy, Hector and Loretta podcast with a message from AXA. Being a woman shouldn't be a risk. Yet only 33% of business owners are women globally. In Ireland, only 28% of women feel confident about their financial futures. This reflects the challenges women face daily, but AXA is taking action. Axa are supporting empowering initiatives such as the Great Care Cooperative in Dublin and Glow in Belfast, which helps women and girls build confidence and life skills. Axa's workplace policies are designed to support women, including corporate membership and menopause support. All because AXA believe being a woman shouldn't be a risk. Visit axa. Ie to see how AXA is helping empower women every single day.

There's a lot of front-page news to get into.

I don't know what's going on with me, but for whatever reason, and I couldn't even think of the last time I've been this invested in a story, but for whatever reason, the Kate Middleton stuff has me on edge.

So apparently in the next 24 hours, we're supposed to hear something.

Okay, well, they better produce this woman because I'm starting to get really uncomfortable with it. I saw a conspiracy theory that was William was having an affair with this Rose woman. And around Christmas time, when we last saw Kate, that William told Kate, One of Rose's children is actually my child. And the conspiracy theory is that Kate had a full-on nervous breakdown when that was revealed to her. She did legit have surgery, but she's not in the public because of that.

And honestly- But when you have a nervous breakdown, you can take a photo.

Right, especially when they're saying the woman who gave birth to all of her children then an hour later was in heels leaving the hospital. See ya. She I thought what you said last episode sounded true, where there's a power struggle happening because they're saying Prince Charles is dying.

And that he's about to croak. And then- William will be- William will be. I think maybe she's asking for some shit to be like, if I'm queen, I need this, this, this. I don't know. I love that.

I don't know anything about the royals. No, me neither.

But I feel like- I feel like soon the Brits are getting together, they're going to go outside that castle.

I'd be like, Come on, we want to see her.

She She's napping.

No, or she's literally asleep.

Or she just literally was like, I'm taking a social media break like Selena Gomez, and I'll be back.

I saw so many memes that it was me. When I take a social media break, me thinking this is what's happening on the internet, everyone's looking for me. That's so funny. It's like, Where is she?

The one thing that does help me with anxiety is when you remember, and this sounds so morbid, but literally no one cares.

No, literally.

No one cares.

I realized that one time, if you go to a workout class or you go to the gym or something and you're like, oh, you get a little insecure about something. Then you just think like, oh, that's so funny because no one's looking at me. Because everyone's doing that in their own head. They're like, Oh, do I run weird? It's like, no one's looking.

I even think about some people will not want to do things in their life because they're afraid what people are going to think. It's like, I mean this in the nicest way possible. Everyone just cares about themselves.

Yeah, I don't care about about anybody else.

No, I know. I was actually talking today with Andrew Colin, and he was like, I love your friendship with Paige because you guys just love each other for who you are.

That's it. You're just selfish, dramatic, lazy Bitches.

He's like, You guys never ask each other questions. You both just keep telling other stories about each other, but you laugh. I was like, I don't think Paige has ever asked me a question in the history of this podcast. I did, but just for you to ask it back to me. I know everything I need to know. He's like, And it fucking works. I ask you questions because I'm like, Well, can I say my answer? I know.

You give me the prompt because it's going to-I go, What do you think about poofs?

This is the thing about poofs.

No, I love that because I like being part of the setup for you.

No, it fucking works.

Oh, my God. People are so jealous of us.

People are so jealous. Shout out to Andrew. Also, I came across a Kate Moss Instagram account that's not Kate Moss.

Okay, like a fan page?

It's a girl who looks exactly like Kate Moss right now.

Okay. Of her age. This is a real person.

Yeah, I think it's called I am not Kate Moss. Great.

Grande.

It's crazy because she didn't have plastic surgery to look like her. She literally everything about her looks like her.

She looks more like Kate than Kate.

Yes. She walks around and paparazzi comes. I just wonder what that life is. Is it legal? Then people are giving her brand sponsorships. I would. It's like, Do you want to pay Kate 5 million for this? Or this girl $1,000?

But she's being herself in the brand deal?

Yeah, but if you just see... It's like the Ariana Grande girl, how you're like, Okay, well, people think it's Ariana Grande.

No, I would capitalize the fuck off of it. Why not? Kate doesn't want to do it.

There's a Taylor Swift impersonator on TikTok.

Have you seen her? I think she lives in New York. Really?

But she She cries really hard. She does the red lip. She changes her hair when Taylor does.

I've seen videos of people crying and her having to be like, I'm Stephanie or something, whatever her name is. I'm just like, I would go with it.

I feel like, honestly, you don't have to deal with your own problems if you just pretend to be Taylor Swift.

It's also like, what's the harm in making that person's day today? They have no idea.

Has anyone thought you were someone you're not?

Nice. People thought No, I don't think I've ever been legit mistaken.

People thought that you were Harry Josie's ex-girlfriend.

Yes.

No. Georgia Hazzaradi.

Gorgeous. I forgot about that. Gorgeous. But she was literally blonde at that time, so I don't know what that even was. That was crazy.

Also, people say you look like a combination of Kendall Jenner and Olivia Colpa.

Wow. That's a good one.

I might have made that up.

No, I love it. Let's stick with it.

No one's ever thought I was anyone.

Yeah,brooke Shields. Isn't it?

Yeah, that was when I put my hair to the side.

Right, on the side.

Also, Gipsy Rose. Gipsy Rose is off social media. I love how this girl came out of jail and was like, You know what's worse than jail? Social media. No. She's like, I can't take it anymore. That's so fucking true. She's like, I'm in a jail of my own emotions.

I knew it was a matter of time. I was like, TikTok is not going to let this girl keep going. There is just no way that people are going to let this girl continue to enjoy her life.

I didn't even know people turned on her. Sweet baby.

Here's what I will say, though. When she first emerged into the public and was doing a bunch of podcasts and on red carpets, I did think like, okay, but this is a little weird. She murdered someone. Maybe she didn't do it personally, but she was smart enough to cook up a scenario.

People got excited about it. Then she had that raw, just naive energy of like, Oh, people want me to see me on a carpet? I'll You remember when every influencer was shoving their phone in her face and doing a TikTok with her?

I was like, She'll plot her for your murder. She's done it before. That's insane to me.

I think it's good that she got off social media. But then part of me is worried, financially, is she going to be okay? Can she get her a normal job?

I think she's fine. She's married. She talks about how much sex they have. I'm assuming he has a job.

But we just talked about how being married is not good.

Look, she dug her own grave. Nobody done it. I'm going to stay out of all things Gipsy Rose Blanchard because it's just it's eerie to me. No, I know. It's like the internet is so... If someone said 10 years ago, this girl is going to be famous because she killed her mom and everyone loves her. I'm really not. No.

No, they say it's very hard for scripts to get picked up on Netflix nowadays. But if you murder someone, you'll probably get a starring role in a Netflix documentary. No, it's... That's not No, it's not okay. Not okay. That was not good.

That was a weird time. That was a weird couple of months. I'm so glad we didn't partake. We were like, no, this is weird.

I don't think we were invited, but we didn't partake. No, certainly not.

But they knew. They knew.

They could have reached out to us.

Hannah and I got invited to the White House. Hannah and I got invited to the White House. When I saw the email come through... It was like capital. I think everyone was just as shocked on the email chain as we were. All of our agents were like, This is a crazy thing.

You could ask to do a lot of random shit and a lot of it is fake and corny. I thought it was a bit. I thought Ashton Kutcher was pranking us.

Yeah, I was like, What? You want to know what? I appreciate the recognition from the White House because they were like, Look, we're in a pickle. We're in a real bind. Who can save the country? We should call the giggly squad. I respect it.

Who at the White House is a giggler? That's what I'm trying to think.

Because I'm like, okay, there's a girl there who's just typing away. She's like, What if I just added them to the list?

What happens is, Paige is like, We're going to the White House. Then I'm talking to my team, and they're like, we I don't think you should go to Washington, DC. Because, first of all, you're having a mental breakdown. Second of all, you have to travel in three days to do your Netflix special. They were like, We don't love you traveling around with Paige and doing God knows what you guys do. So then I message Paige. I'm like, I can't go. And you call me and you're like, Hannah, we're going to the fucking White House. And then I go, okay.

And then I- I have bills to pass. I have things to do tomorrow.

You're like, the poof is back. So then I call my manager and she's like, I don't care that you and Paige made this agreement. You're not going. And I was like, okay. Then I texted you and I'm like, I'm not going. And then I actually felt like you were upset for the first time in a while with me. No, I was so But then I had the mental breakdown and then I texted you. I was like, I really don't think I can go.

And I was like, No, no. No, whatever. Oh my God. It's okay.

Don't even give it a second thought. So, update on our lives. I just flew in from San Jose. I had a great weekend of shows. I'm Very happy. It calmed me down a lot. Paige is leaving this podcast. To go to the White House. To go to the White House. To go to Washington. On her own. I've left her to fight for her life in politics.

I started panicking because I was like, Okay, well, if I don't have a friend, I can't go. I can't go to the White House without a friend. So I'm making my assistant come.

Okay, it's a woman's initiative. What are you going to initiate?

Just like, vibes. Probably I think we should focus on vibes for 2024. Probably both.

What year are we?

Sorry.

But also, I was envisioning an Elwood pink, but you didn't go that direction.

I'm going more Jackie O'Ivory. It's going to be a moment, I think, for my fit. That's honestly the reason I'm going.

Do you think in a past life, you were a president's wife?

No, I think in a past life, I was part of Parliament, like someone's wife in Parliament. I feel like I lived in Europe. Okay, yes. I didn't fuck with the Declaration of Independence.

Maybe it was like a royal, maybe like a prince.

Maybe.

Maybe. Who knows? Who knows?

We still need to do that, our past lives.

We need to do past lives, and we also need to know our colors. We need to know if we're winter or spring or summer or fall or warm fall or a cold fall.

I also texted Kennedy to get the name of the psychic because all three of us can't remember.

I was about to ask you. Okay, so I randomly... I like when random things happen to me, I always think it's for a reason. Well, yeah. I randomly ran into a comic who randomly said he was talking to a psychic, who he said he randomly worked with the and you randomly were looking for a psychic at that time. I don't even know the psychic. I just gave you the number. Who gave you the...

Wait.

It was a comedian.

Originally?

Yes.

Wait, Hannah, I got this story so wrong, and I DMed Kennedy.

Ken Yurick? Yes.

I go, Hey, did you give Hannah a name of a psychic? And she was like, Probably. I was like, Do you remember? I was like, Do you remember what his name was? And she was like, Send me the number. I don't think so. I was like, Yeah, we can't think of it either. No, apparently- No, we're all so stupid.

He's a psychic who predicted the Kennedy's. Okay, I had it. The presidential Kennedy.

I need to DM Kennedy and be like, false alarm.

I don't know why she goes, Yeah, it sounds like something I would do.

She's like, It doesn't ring a bell, but probably. What's his name?

Also, why do you need to know his name?

Because when I text him and- You don't have to be like, Hi, Brian. You could just be like- Well, I feel like that's polite. What? I'm going to do the whole reading not knowing his goddamn name.

Well, you can be like, I apologize. It's been a couple of months. Can you please remind me your name? I've lost a psychic on my phone. Okay, I'm going to have to text.

What happened that made you- No, it wasn't even for me. One of my friends asked me and I was like, Wait, I had a great person.

I got excited. I was like, oh, we're going to get a life.

No, I'll do another one in a couple of months. I'm not ready yet. Yeah.

Isn't it funny?

I have too many vitamins I have to take track of. I can't switch to psychics yet.

Wait, I bought all these vitamins, like vitamin D and stuff, and I just can't get myself to take them.

It's a mental warfare. You know how now you love hip hop yoga? When you get to hip hop yoga, you're like, wow, the hardest part was literally convincing myself to put the fuck my pants on and tie my shoes and get here. That's how I feel about vitamins. It's the stress in the morning of knowing I have to take my vitamins.

Then some you have to eat when you take it. Yeah, those are stressful. I'm not hungry sometimes when I wake up.

You get a little nauseous for 20 minutes, but you're fine. No, life as a girl is so hard.

So, Paige is going to the White House, and I, after this podcast, I'm going with Grace to do my fitting for my special. Now, people, I never knew what a fitting was. Back in the day, the girl was like, I'm having a fitting. I'm like, What does it even fucking mean? Basically means you like, it's really annoying.

No, it's actually a lot of work.

You know when you go to Zara and you pick out stuff you want and then you I'm going to go, You know what I don't want to do? Try on all these clothes. I'm going to just go home. Then if something doesn't fit, I'll bring it back. You have to basically, in front of a stylist and other people, put on outfits that you didn't even pick. That you didn't pick, and then they lie to you and tell you that looks good. Then you have to be like, I actually hate myself in this.

You have to read through the lines like, Does it look good? Or like, it's really stressful. If your hair and makeup isn't done, you have to then envision it. Then so you're like...

Yeah, you look like a mole rat.

You're just like, What's going on?

It's a lot of pressure because everyone's judging what you pick. We're going to be sending you photos during it. But then this week, I'm doing a self-care week. Hair done, nails done, everything did, face gym. And then you said that you're going to... You will say things to me. I know it's not for real. But you go, I'm going to do your spray tan.

Give me an example of something else. Actually, now I'm a little When you're like, Oh, I'm going to come visit you. When have I ever said, I'm going to come visit you? First of all, I feel like the only thing I've ever...

Last summer.

Okay, that's true. But that's because I'm a sleepy girl.

But we will together be like, I wanted to come to your fitting.

You changed it four different times. But I've literally had it in my schedule. Did I struck a cord? No, but- Because I struck at the cord.

I know. I was struck at the cord.

God damn it. Andrew Colin, he is praying on the demise of us. He's like, You know what I've noticed? She never asks you anything about you.

No, he didn't mean it like that.

Yeah, and actually, and she never comes anywhere that she says she got up. No, he didn't mean it like that. No, but what I did say was that I was going to give Hannah her spray tan.

I just felt like you're a very busy person. No, I have it in. People are professional spray tan artists. They're women of the arts.

I just feel like you, though, who never gets spray tans, I don't recommend you- You don't want someone to fuck it up. I don't recommend you do it for the first time like that because mine is... I'm literally baking in it right now.

You've been crushing it with your spray tan. Crushing it. This is my question. How are we going to do it? Am I labia out?

Well, we want to vlog it. So definitely labia out because we're on YouTube now.

Are you going to just...

Imagine we just started in OnlyFans for literal spray tans. That's fucking genius. Spray tans?

People don't talk about the emotional- The vulnerability. The vulnerability and embarrassment. You have to squad at one point and they go under you.

You've met that girl 38 seconds ago, and she's like, Spread them.

When I first went on TV, I remember no one recognized me. I went to get a spray tan, and this girl goes, I think I saw you on that show. I go, What are the fucking chances?

As you're one legged up and it's like they're right in there and one side of your lip is open.

Yes, my lip, I have to move my lips so they get it. Also, I'm a sweater, so I'm sweating. We'll put air conditioner on. But wait.

No, I'm going to powder you. I'm going to do all this. You have a whole thing. No, I'm a professional at this point.

I feel like this is going to make us closer to another level.

We're going to vlog it, so maybe we'll have you.

Are you doing my whole body or just the parts of the show? No. You know when you curl your hair just in the front? Because you're like, No one's going to see the back.

No. No, we're two different humans.

I'm not going to just do my arms.

Actually, I've done that before. Just on my top. But no, I'm going to do fully.

Because you know I don't own a thong.

I know you don't. No, I need you actually in no pants. So it's like, I need you no pants, no bra. And you guys, it's fine.

I don't mind being naked in front of Paige. It's that you have to spread ego and squat and hold yourself.

But I'm not doing it with the spray. I'm actually I'm going to be more intimate.

You're doing hands-on, wax-on, wax-off.

I'm doing foam, hands-on, hands-off, and then I'm going to do your face in something separate.

Do you contour? Can you contour abs?

But no, it's going to be great. I'm I'm really, really excited. I'm doing Amazon Live, and then I'm getting my little butt in the car and coming to you.

Actually, our Amazon Live is you spray tanning me.

The gigglers have been asking for this spray tan.

It's giving me like, beaty in some torture chamber. I'm hanging and you're just like, it's so funny.

Beauty is pain. Isn't it crazy how much? Okay, now I just want you to think for a quick second. You're like, beauty maintenance that you're doing this week. That's my fucking Super Bowl. My beauty maintenance days are what I was born for.

That's so funny because whenever I do anything that's for myself, I have that little voice that goes, You're a selfish cunt. No.

My mom called me once because- Wait till you're laying there at face gym and there's one finger in your mouth and they're just working your fucking jaw out.

Wait, did you ever see those TikToks where they're working on your jaw and the girl starts crying from past trauma? Yeah. What if that happens to me at Face gym? Don't do that.

I go to the Space gym a lot. They know I've sent you. Please don't do that. No, and your hips.

Oh, yeah, your hips. I'll blame my anything on my past trauma. I'll be like, Oh, it's my past trauma stored in my sneeze.

No, I like that. I wish that would happen to me. You could rub something and then you don't have to pay for therapy anymore. That'd be fucking amazing.

Well, that's what they try to make you believe. If you look at one of these things, you'll get all these Instagram ads like, Oh, if you open your hip this way.

Wait, so what else are you doing?

Well, I'm getting my hair redied. I want it to be not too dark, though. Sometimes it's dark. I'm going to say, Keep it a little brighter. But we don't bleach it, whatever. I'm doing that on Monday. Tuesday, what am I doing Tuesday? Oh, Tuesday, I'm getting a massage, but lymphatic drainage massage. You have to drink water, which I'm stressed about.

No, you're going to crush it.

I'll figure it out. Thank you.

Do you still not own a Stanley?

I own a Stanley. I do.

And what? It didn't catch on? What happened? Did you fill it up or you just own it?

Did you fill it up, but then you're lying on the couch. You don't want to get up to go take a sip of your Stanley. I don't want to put it on my couch because it could spill.

And put it on the ground. You have a husband, so you literally never have to refill your Stanley. My husband's like... Oh, yeah, with his other family.

With his other family right now. Well, I think that also has been tough for me. Yeah. Well, I do have to say it's difficult. It's difficult because he had to go to Ireland for health insurance purposes. At least that's what he told me.

He had to go to Ireland for health reasons. I don't...

Apparently, he tore his ACL. Now I'm trying to be like, did he just need a break? He's recovering.

No, here's the crazy thing.

I actually didn't see him fall, which is crazy. He just appeared in the hospital.

We didn't actually believe him. His stories are so insane. If you told it to a normal person, you'd be like, Oh, sorry.

You fell 1,500 feet down a double block?

I have to go to Ireland for a month and stay with my friend. Can't reach me.

But the thing is, we do. We're on the phone all the time. But I was getting off the plane today, and normally I'm excited to go home and see him. I realized he wasn't there. I just was like, No, this does suck because he can't fly for three weeks after. We're just in this annoying stage.

How long has it been?

It's been long. I don't even think about it.

But It's been at least two, three weeks.

Yeah, but my mom came last week, so that was fine as long as I have...

Chris, we need a fucking exterminator. What is going on?

I'm getting my lymphatic drainage. Then Wednesday, I'm going to this place that I sent you 10-piece nails. They're a really cool Lower East Side nail place. I just have to make sure that I don't go too crazy because in this special, you cannot- It lives forever.

You need to do something class.

It lives forever. You don't want people distracted by a roller coaster on your nails because they can go off. I think just pale pink. Okay, pale pink or a French. Or French. Or French. But I'll run it by you.

I think those are the only two of them.

Just make sure you're on your phone during this week because I will be sending you panic messages. I know the lady will be like, You know it'd be cool? Can I just confer with my friend really quick? Then I have to go to Maryland. Then I'm going to spray tan. Then I go to Maryland the day before for one show, and then the next day is the special.

You're going to Maryland Friday.

Yeah. So I have a show the day before just to- Got it. And then life can go back to normal. I can stop freaking freaking.

Hey there, it's Lourita from the Tommy Hector and Lourita podcast with a message from AXA. Being a woman shouldn't be a risk. Yes, only 33% of business owners are women globally. In Ireland, only 28% of women feel confident about their financial futures. This reflects the challenges women face daily, while AXA is taking action. Axa is supporting empowering initiatives such as the Great Care Cooperative in Dublin and Glou in Belfast, which helps women and girls build confidence and life skills. Axa's workplace policies are designed to support women, including corporate membership and menopause support, all because AXA believe being a woman shouldn't be a risk. Visit axa. Ie to see how AXA is helping How are women every single day.

One of the things that's really funny that I'm thinking about for the spray tan is mine don't last as long as other girls because I keep my legs.

You're not like other girls? Oh.

I was like, Oh, I have to remember to tell Hannah, Don't shave her legs until the day of... Oh, God. I was like, No, I don't have to. Not my friend. I don't have to remind her to not shave her legs. But Thursday Shave that day. Thursday, before I get there, you need to have done a full girl shower where it's like you exfoliated, you shaved.

I don't know if I own exfoliant.

Grace.

Do you remember when they were killing turtles The Exfoliant? St. Ives?

Well, not that one. That one's like trash.

That one's aggressive, right? That one's like you'll grow a tail, I think.

I don't know.

You'll find your childhood trauma.

I'll send you a good exfoliant.

I just eat a Nature Valley bar and then roll around in it.

Yeah, you could do that, too. Okay, so exfoliate, shave. Then when you get out of the shower, lotion. Then sit and wait for me. She's a little naked in my room. I'm scared.

You knock and I'm like, Come here. You go, The doctor's here.

What are those things when... Remember in the 1800s, every rich woman had someone that literally got them dressed? Oh, yeah. Like, That's what I feel sometimes for you. I'm like, You have to do this, this, and that.

It's funny because my mom did call me at one point, I think when I was doing the TV show and she was like, You know, Paige really puts in effort to be her best self. She's like, When's the last time you did anything? She's like, Paige got her nails done today.

No, but I've always been like that. Yeah. Pampering, to me- Is priority. The week before prom was I would actually write out things for the girls. I'm like, If you do this, you'll be a star. But it is preparation, and then you're ready for that event. It's also just maintenance in terms of Yeah, I get lymphatic drainage once a month because it's just good for your body.

It's what you can control. Des was like, Don't start doing different shit the week of the special. Change your war. Just do what you normally do. I'm like...

If I was like, You should go get Botox, we Then, yeah, that'd be insane.

But like- No, these are just good things. Also, look, I fucking love a spa day. It's just I have to convince myself like, Oh, it's worth doing this over pining over past mistakes.

It's so worth it. You have your hair and makeup book, too? Yes. Okay, we're almost there.

We're home stretch. We're home stretch. I also want to let the gigglers know I think I picked a title.

Okay.

I think I'm going to open with the worm.

Wow. Wow. Like walk out worm.

Walk out worm. Start the show. Start the show.

The girls... Oh, yeah, obviously. The girls who are in that crowd know it's being filmed.

It's going to be a crazy experience because with filming, I feel like afterwards I might come back on and do extra crowd. It's fully like filming a TV show. We could pause if we want, if something happens. Oh, my God. I just feel so fortunate to have the gig because sometimes people shoot specials and they don't have a following. They don't know if the crowd's going to like them.

Do the crowd know what's even happening? They might not even know.

Sometimes they just have to fill a room where literally the girls are going to be coaching me through.

No, I feel like they are going to make cue cards in case you forget a line. They're there and they're like, It's just a sign. It's the whole joke right now. They're in it.

But you know what? Deep down, and I'm saying this now, I feel like I'm going to go out there and I'm going to give one of the best performances I've ever done. I think so, too. It's because I'm going to be so excited and fucking ready. I'm so fucking overprepared. Yeah, you are. But I do have to say all the anxiety and all this shit has been a very good learning experience for me, that I'm human. You are. When you want to do something cool, it's sometimes hard. That was Aristotle.

What I'm saying is it's just really hard to be cool. Not all of you can do it.

I do have to say a lot of stuff you want is out of your comfort zone. It's like when you feel crazy nerves or this is really hard or I don't want to do this, sometimes it's like, if you can get past that, good things happen. No, that's so true. I said that quote earlier to you. We were talking randomly deep about something, and I said, The universe rewards the brave.

That's why I had a dirty martini last night and two glasses of wine.

Where were you?

I went out to dinner With who? I went out to dinner with my-Oh, yeah, you told me. A couple friend. I was a third wheel. Oh, how was that? We had so much gossip. We had to get... It was like a planned dinner.

Isn't it fun when you're a third wheel with a couple because your relationship is fully perfect and then you get to just judge them.

Yeah, I'm just like, What's going on at home, guys?

Yeah, like any subtle thing, you're like, I don't like how he said that to you.

I'm like, Don't speak to her like that.

They're like, Your husband hasn't been at your house since then.

We're not sure Craig really exists. We haven't been on a double date with him. I'm Back to you guys. No, I went out to dinner. Have you been? It's called Zeezy Club.

Oh, yeah, I've heard.

It was really cool. I'd never been. It's like two restaurants in one. It's basically like carbone upstairs. I had spicy rig and just a bunch of Italian meats. Then I literally sat down preparing for the White House, I feel like, because I was like, What's on the docket today? I think I suggest we start with this couple first. Oh, because Then we move into this one.

This is a friend group that you're not hanging out with as often now.

I feel like we're-We're learning, growing. We're learning, growing.

People are getting married, having babies. We're getting older.

It's not like we're all going to the local club, our favorite club.

Our favorite club, Saturday Night. This is one of those examples where gossip is a bonding thing. When am I going to go and give a speech about how the world should be better with everyone?

When's the last time you talked to her? What is happening there?

Is she mad at me? Did you think she's mad at me?

I I woke up this morning.

Hungover?

No, it's like, I can't do it anymore. I feel like I've figured out, though, what my limit is, and it's three drinks.

Also, wine fucks you up.

A Dirty Martini gets the gossip. I mean, they're lucky.

You don't even have to finish it.

They're lucky back then, the girls weren't gossiping and drinking Dirty Martinis because then they'd really make it illegal.

Yeah, and the patriarchy would never have existed the way it was.

Yeah, because one Dirty Martini and I'll tell you everything.

Can I say something so embarrassing about myself? I've never finished a Bloody Mary. I'm incapable. I'm so dainty. I can't finish a Bloody Mary. I like it. Never finished it.

I feel like that is interesting because you give-Chug a Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary, and it's like, this came with a cheeseburger on top. Is this not the cuteest drink?

In college, in Wisconsin, end of the bar, it'd be 2 AM, and someone would be like, bloody That's insane. We did crazy shit in Wisconsin, but it didn't count because it was in Wisconsin.

No, that would immediately... No wonder you have heartburn. I mean, come on.

Wait, I want to start a new segment with you called What I DMed Page this week. Because I feel like it's how you communicate. I'm going to say something.

You're very active on reels.

I think I haven't been scrolling TikTok as often.

Because you're preparing for it to be taken away?

No. Okay. I think because- Because I thought that the other day.

I was like, Should I start weaning myself off? Like, I'm a heroine addict.

I've been annoyed with the TikTok algorithm. Because TikTok knows you so well, they knew I was upset, so they kept I was like, I don't want to talk about my mental health right now. Yeah.

How dare they?

I sent you a girl crying and texting, Pausing my mental breakdown because my bestie asked which nail color goes better with her outfit. Then I sent you a gorgeous white cat. Yes. Okay, so I I sent you a cat on Craigslist. That cat's probably going to get taken soon.

Okay, well, that cat should go to a good home if they want it. Oh, you're a fucking tease.

This bitch is such a tease.

No, I said... Okay, but no, because you're like a little kid sometimes. When I say I want to get a cat, that doesn't mean in 20 minutes, the Timer is going to go up and we- Sorry, I'm a doer.

I get shit done.

I feel like if I get this new apartment, it gives white cat. I was just saying, I think this is the time that I would really get a cat because it's a new space. We'd move it together. I found her the perfect cat on Craigslist. I don't want the cat feeling like it's my place and she's moving into it.

I texted you the cat on Craigslist and... Silence. Crickets. Crickets for three days. Who knows if that cat's even okay? You didn't even check up on it.

Sometimes I do ghost you and it's things I don't want to respond.

No, I know. No, you actually never ghost me.

No, I'm just talking to her about it.

You never ghost me, but you recently ghost me this week with the cat thing and the Lower East Side Apartments. I took that.

But I saw them all and I was like, No, that's a cool one.

Did you even click into it?

Yes, I clicked them all. Okay, good.

When your bestie says, Guess who I just saw, but you both have 23 crushes, 54 inside jokes, and 130 people you hate. That's literally you. She FaceTimes me and she goes, You're not going to guess what happened to this person. I go, How the fuck?

I felt like we were in that movie, Ted. You were like, Amy, Jessica, Stephanie, Burke. I was like, No, no, no.

You You got it?

I was like, Can you believe it?

You literally go, Guess which person did something. And I go, How long do you have?

Because we have too many people. I was saying, You got it really quick, though. Oh, my God.

That was so good. Then I DMed you a cat that said, Bonjorno. Then I wrote, Wait, I think my meme sending game is so No, I know.

That's why you've made a segment about it. We're all here just like, yes, it's so funny. No, you need positive affirmation right now. Keep going.

Then I did me during exams just to be sure I've trusted you with myself. It's a calculator going 10 plus 5 equals 15. That was you. I know.

That was so me.

You were like, one plus one.

Okay, two. Yeah, right. I used to write all the answers to the test on the back of my calculator. You could write on the calculator and pencil and no one ever noticed and everyone was stupid and didn't.

Then I sent you another white cat with eyelash extensions on. She looked really pretty. I think that I'm doing this subconscious thing.

Well, that subconscious? No, you're doing it out in the open. You're literally one step away from showing up to my apartment with a cat in a basket.

Wait, I made a huge mistake. I accidentally sent you a Pitbull reel, which is supposed to go to Dez.

Yeah.

I'm so sorry for that. That's okay. I'm so sorry. That was off-brand. You must have been like, This girl's lost her mind.

It's I stopped looking.

When I type in Dez, DeSorbo comes up. I know. I mean, it's crazy you haven't gotten more sex. But then I did a really good job and I found this girl, Hattie Culp, who her whole thing is redecorating this Upper West Side home that she grew up in to be like, cunty and Parisian and girly. I love it. I think it's the vibe I want. It's my vibe. Then you finally responded, Wait, I need this for inspe. After I don't... 15 memes.

You know what's so crazy is I don't think I like that impression of me.

That was your impression was crazy.

That was very bitchy, wasn't it? Wait, let me do it.

Wait, I need this for Inspelle.

No, No. It wasn't like that. I immediately hated that girl. I was like, What a cunt she is. She thinks she's so good.

Well, when you ignore me, I'm like, who it is. I'm coming I actually don't care.

I'm not going to take over to literally spray tan your labia.

I know. I actually don't care. I'm about the journey, which is the catharticness, the catharsismness of sending things that are relatable to you. I don't need the affirmation because I will read it out.

You don't need the energy back. You want to give it to the world. Yes. I'm a giver. No, we're good friends because that exact thing is like, if you text me and I don't respond. Oh, I forgot you didn't respond. Yeah, no one's getting anxiety.

No.

You've never given me anxiety, and that's why you're my best friend. I've never had a moment where I'm like, I'm really anxious right now and it because of you.

The only time I've ever felt anxious around you is because I'm anxious, and I look and I realize you're also anxious, and I'm like, We're anxious together. But we're in our own different anxious world. I'm not making you anxious. You're not making me anxious. Then 10 minutes later, we'll be like, All right.

If in anything, you make me less anxious. That's why I was so mad at you for the White House.

You make me less anxious because you don't care.

Exactly. And put it on my tombstone.

And that's what Andrew Colin was trying to say. Yeah, I don't care. No, friends, I care too much. I'm like, You care more than I care about myself.

Yeah, I'm like, Why don't you just write me a life plan if you're going to care this much, bitch? Yeah, no, we don't care.

Look at our beautiful friendship evolving and growing, and the gigglers are the glue that keeps us together.

For whatever reason, when it goes just for one of us and then the other I feel like this is automatically, CBS Kids. I don't know why. That gives me BS kids. Hey, guys. We'll be back next week with how to count.

I do have to say we posted our first ever full episode on YouTube. Actually, we did it back in the day, but we did like-We relaunched.

We relaunched. With Grace.

We're not saying that we're doing it every week. Also, the newsletter is getting better and better, I think.

The newsletter is off the charts. The way that people are responding to it. Do you want to know why? One girl DM me and she was like, You want to know why I like the newsletter? It gives you what you need, and then you can click out. She was like, It's basically a picture book. It's a picture book. You just scroll through, you click what you want, and if you don't want to- It's nothing that you need. It's nothing that you need. So don't feel some pressure. No stress. You don't even need to open it, honestly, if you're having a bad week that week. No. Then they just exit.

It's a low anxiety.

It's because you want to know why. We don't care.

We don't care.

We don't care. That's what the newsletter is based in. It's based in not caring.

At the end of the day, nobody cares. If that helps you sleep at night, it's been helping me sleep at night. We love you guys. Thank you for giggling with us, and we'll talk to you later. Bye.