Sup, gigglers? Gary, fix your wifi. Manifest that shit v can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me.

What's up? My grassroot. Gigglers. Paige, what is a grassroot?

The roots of said grass.

Wait. Whenever you put said in anything, it sounds legit.

I've been using whilst.

No, whenever you say whilst, I literally get intimidated by you.

No, I've said it, like, four different times in different text messages this weekend of people. I mean, I was telling the same story to multiple people, but, like, whilst was prominent.

Do you know how there's a press cycle?

Okay, okay.

I feel like that happens with gossip. Like, gossip, you know when something happens and you go, this is gonna be my entire personality for the next four days. And you have to talk about it, get everyone's opinion on it, tell everyone about it. Our life is just in press cycles.

No, like, the lineup I have when things happen to me, and I'm like, oh, I have to tell this person. Like, one person gets a phone call, another person gets a facetime, and another person gets a voice note. And so it's just like, what do the masses think?

It's like, if you text me, like, a generic question, I'm not gonna get back to you immediately. I woke up so early, and you texted me, I have tea. Immediately. I said, what's up? What's going on? How are you doing?

Good morning.

Good morning.

Hi. I have a girlfriend that she only sends gossip in text messages that you can't see it. So every time I get a text message and it's like that, like, fuzzy, and I have to click to read it. I know. It's like, the craziest gossip ever. Cause she's so paranoid.

I'm like, can you not screenshot that? I don't know. I feel like that's super dramatic when people do that.

Do you ever get nervous when it says, like, so and so? Saved your voice note? And I'm like, excuse you.

So I think sometimes it's automatic.

Okay.

Cause someone messaged me once and be like, does it say I saved it?

Yeah.

I don't know.

It makes me freaked out when people save my voice notes. I'm like, I know that my voice is so soothing, but please don't share that with anyone.

No, my voice notes are out of control. How are you? Cause you didn't really tell me you were going to Michigan. It kind of never came up.

I didn't really know.

You didn't know you were going to Michigan?

It's actually so funny, because my mom had the same exact reaction.

She was like, excuse me, I was talking to you all day. Once dropped that you were in Michigan.

Also, fun fact, Michigan is not a time zone away.

Oh, yeah.

I kept being like, and don't forget, we're an hour behind.

Who are you telling that to? The people in Michigan.

Just the people. And they were like, nope, we're not. And I go, yeah, we are. We're basically in Chicago.

And they're like, also, when you're flying to Michigan, your phone will, like, go to Canada. Go to Canada.

Yeah.

So it's like, everyone figure it out.

I really enjoyed Michigan. And then I was like, why do I like Michigan? And then I had all the gigglers dming me, and they were like, because low key, Michigan's really rich. And you must have felt that vibe, which I didn't, but I was wondering why I was like, I like it so much. And they're like, no, it's very rich. And I was like, okay, we both.

Traveled a lot the last couple days. I do college gigs sometimes.

Oh, you're in Miami? Yeah.

I love to speak to the youths of America. So I went to Orlando first, then I went to Miami. University of Miami is a literal resort.

I don't know how the school is a resort. They get anything done.

There's waterfalls and hot people and anything with palm trees. I'm like, this is a vacation.

Anyone I know personally who went to Miami did, in fact, not finish, and some went to rehab. So that is my only. What I think of Miami. I had one friend who was going to be a professional golfer. Rehab.

I have another friend who was, like.

Gonna be great in finance rehab.

Like, it's scared. Alex was just gonna greet me there. I thought I'd come in, and she goes, welcome to.

Like, she was the Barbie. Like, welcome. This is university. Hi, Barbie. Like, every blonde is just like, hi, Hannah.

But I also feel bad for people in Miami, because when it's bad weather here, like, and we're depressed, we're like, oh, it's because of seasonal depression. When they're depressed in Miami, like, that's just them. That's who you are. You have no excuse.

See, I feel like we actually couldn't live somewhere where it's sunshine all year round.

Well, that's why summer stresses me out. Cause everyone in New York City, the second it hits 65 is, like, celebrating. And I'm like, but I don't know what to celebrate. Cause I hate myself sometimes.

Yeah. Like, sometimes I enjoy it being cloudy and rainy. Because there's no pressure.

No pressure. It's, like, under promise, over delivered today. Everyone thinks it's gonna suck. It has to be better than sucking.

Turn that movie on.

Yes. So I'm in Miami, living my best life, and then I had to go from Miami to Athens, Ohio.

Okay.

I don't know where Athens, Ohio is.

To be confused with Athens, Greece.

No, literally.

I love that America was like, and we'll have a Paris, Texas. And in Athens, Ohio, did Ashton Kutcher plan this shit? I mean, so when you go to.

Some of these towns that are not in main cities, you can't just, like, use Delta. You have to go to some other. Cause I don't like, I would rather do a direct than take Delta and.

Have to do, like, do a roundabout.

A stop or two. So I took spirit.

Okay. Had you ever flown spirit?

I think I did, but I blacked it out. But spirit, they're hilarious. Cause they're self aware. Like, the people get on, they're like, hey, sorry. You guys are flying spirit.

Their whole airline is a bit.

They also started it being like, hey, we're excited to go to Houston, Texas. And everyone was like, what? And they're like, just kidding. Wait.

I. I love.

I was not in the mood. I was not in the mood. Like, I was like, just take me to my destination. I don't want to be here. And you want me to try to get laughs from me, and I'm trying to listen to, like, one song on repeat.

I mean, do they even have headphones to pass out?

No. Also, they didn't even give me water. I almost died. So I get there, and when I land, I always go to see the hotel that I booked, and I look at the address, and it says Athens, georgia. So I realized I'm in Columbus, and I have to drive an hour to this place, and there's no hotels.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Athens, Ohio?

I have to go to Athens, Ohio? The hotel you can in Athens, Georgia, instead of Athens, Ohio. Okay, easy mistake. But I said, you know what? I'm just gonna find another hotel in Athens, Ohio.

Can't be that hard.

Can't be that hard. Who's going to Athens, Ohio? Turns out it's like mom's weekend. So everywhere. Ohio university.

Okay.

Which is 40,000 kids.

That's a lot of fricking moms.

So it turns out all the hotels are booked. All of those are booked. And I paid $300 to stay at a super eight motel. A motel? $300.

Genuinely, when you pulled up the word m o t e l was written.

Yeah. And I walk in and there's a woman. Very nice.

Thank God. Thank God I was a woman.

No, I was. Thank God. But then someone pops their head out behind her. It's her child looking at me. Not in a nice way. I was like, do you wanna fucking fight me? Like, this girl's looking at me. I'm like, is she gonna rob me? I was like, do I have to beat your kid? What's happening?

Is this the kind where it's outside?

It was. Inside. It wasn't.

You know what I mean?

But I was on the first floor.

Hannah. I would have literally rather slept at the.

No, I was laughing, thinking about you the whole time. And I walk in and, like, you know when there's just a smell that you can't put your finger on? Like, you're like, it's ungodly. Don't know what it is. And then there's, like, a mark on the towel.

No, I wouldn't order crying.

You know I did. I ordered wendy's, as one does. I ordered a baked potato, and they forgot the sour cream. And that's when I started to spiral.

Hannah sent a picture in the group chat of her in the bed with grace and me. And she was like, Hannah, Paige would be freaking out. And I genuinely. It's not even that I would be freaking out. I'd never be in this situation. Like, I would just never find myself at a fucking motel.

So I get on stage and I'm performing for 1500 people for mom's weekend. So I get on stage and I go, I accidentally booked the wrong hotel. And then all you bitches took all the hotels. Now I'm at a fucking super eight. They start dying, laughing, dying, laughing. And I never really say the hotel I'm staying at, but I was like, guys, we have to. All super eight is get in this together. So then I'm like, you can do this. Just, like, do the show. It was really fun. Come back. Just go to sleep. You're really good at sleeping. You'll be fine. Someone made a comment to me. They were like, how are you getting to the airport? And I'm like, uber. And they were like, oh, there's, like, there aren't ubers in the area. And I was like, that's. We're in a college campus. Like, there's gonna be ubers, right?

It's not 1908, but I was a.

Little nervous, so I woke up early, which I never do.

Yeah.

Just to, like, check out the oobe situation. I've never clicked it, and it literally just says, not available. So then I'm like, uber must be having a glitch.

They're having a day.

Taylor Swift must be on Uber. Eclipse solar. What's going on? Mercury retrograde. Yeah. So I go, I download lyft for the first time. I said, I'm a lyft girl. Now.

Yep.

I don't care. I'm a lyft girl. I go through the admin of signing up. Nothing. Nothing. So then I go, okay. If I don't get a car in the next hour, I'm stuck in Athens, Ohio.

Yep.

So I start googling, like, car service. People have car service, right, right. So I call, like, three of the numbers that just. No one answers. Or it goes to, like, this line is disconnected. Finally, I call this thing called Albert's taxi. After one ring, someone goes, hello? No.

I would have been like, ah, second thought.

No. At this point. At this point, I'm like, this is how I got. And I go, hi, Albert. I go, I'm at the super 8th address. He goes, I know where you are. I said, okay, I have to go to Columbus airport. And he's like, when's your flight? And I was like, 1130. He goes, okay, I'll be there in 30. And then he just. And then he goes, can I bring my dog? And I'm like, actually, absolutely. I would love you to bring your dog. And he goes, okay, see you soon. Hangs up. And I'm like, he has my number, my information. So then I'm just like, okay. So I go outside, and I'm thinking, like, what kind of dog does he have? Is it a. I don't know.

Yeah. Who knows what Albert's packing?

So he pulls up and there's this. The biggest collie dog I've ever seen. So cute.

But, like, happy.

Huge. Just happy, excited. We're at work, jump in, and I'm like, what's his name? He goes, oh, the dog's name is Albert. He's like, albert's kind of a big deal on campus. Like, everyone loves Albert.

What's his name?

No idea.

When you called, he said, hi. This is Albert.

No, he just said, hi. And I was like, hi, Albert.

But the name of the place was called Albert.

Albert's taxi. But it's the dog's taxi. It's like, he's very good at branding, honestly, very good at marketing. Marketing genius.

Move him to New York. What are you doing in Athens, Ohio?

So this is the thing, if you're.

Shaking, because if there was an app called Albert's, and it was just a picture of a border collie driving a car. I'm booking it.

My mind started working. My entrepreneurial, entrepreneurial spirit, and I was like, what if they took dogs who were open for adoption and put them in Ubers all day?

Wow.

And you can get a dog Uber, and the dog will be in it, like an emotional support dog. Slash you could adopt it.

In my head, that's a lot of smells, a lot of pee and shit.

So as I am a cat person, but I love dogs. But, like, by the end of the trip, I wanted to cut all my nails off and shower three times because I smelled of dog. And I said I was super eight. So I got there, we took a little photo afterwards, everyone's life story, including Albert. And what? She lives another day.

It's so funny because I couldn't have had an more opposite experience. I'm in Michigan, I'm chatting it up with Steve Madden.

Okay?

We're talking shoes, we're talking life, we're talking New York.

What is like, I think someone's doing, like, a big movie about him.

He just did a documentary.

Documentary.

Which I saw a little clip of it. It looks very. I didn't realize he's, like, from Queens.

He's true. Like, rags to riches story, love.

I had said to his team, I was like, oh, are you guys flying back to New York tonight? And they were like, yeah. And I go, oh, are you. What flight are you on? Are you on, like, the 915? Cause that was the Delta flight I was on. And they looked at me and they, like, smile, and they go, oh, we fly private. And I said, oh, yeah. Like, I should have known that. So I'm saying bye to Mister Madden, and he's like, oh, are you flying back to New York? And I go, amazing. He's gonna ask me to get on his fucking private flight. I'm gonna be home in an hour. And I go, yeah, I'm on, like, delta 915. He goes, okay, have a great flight. And I like, look at my assistant.

You almost finagled a PJ.

I almost finagled a PJ. But I did. I. And then, like, I was talking to my one friend who actually works for Steve Madden, and he was like, oh, my God. You could have absolutely asked him, like, hey, can I just jump on your flight?

He would have brought you.

And I was never.

I feel like that's dude shit to.

Be like, yeah, I would never do that.

No, no.

But here's my friend and just trying to get out of a super eight. And I'm like, do you have an extra seat on your g six, by any chance, for me? And my friend, my poor friend is trying not to get murdered. And I'm like, it was to the.

Point that I didn't tell my mom till after. Cause I wanted her to sleep that night. You know when you're like, I don't want to put my family through this. I can handle it.

Yeah.

Meanwhile, Grace, I'm just texting her throughout, and she's like, are you okay? Is everything good? Not really.

Wait, I love that you're just, like, in a jersey.

Okay. I decided to wear a next jersey. Go. Next.

Wait, let's chat about how women's basketball is just, like, taking over.

No, I'm worried next thing, we're gonna take over football. Like, what do the men have left?

I have no idea about women's basketball. The only thing I've seen is that the one girl, angel, they're trying to. She's, like, the biggest villain ever.

No.

And in my head, I'm like, sorry. She can do a winged eyeliner and can talk trash. I think you're jealous.

No.

And then they're saying, what about the other girl, Caitlyn?

Okay, so this was actually, like, old drama from last year. Last year, Caitlyn Clark won a game, and I think she kind of, like, did a hand motion. So then when Angel Reese beat her, she did that same hand motion, and people kind of took it that it was bad sportsmanship when it's like they're just doing their thing. So then this year, they played each other again, and Angel Reese, they tried to, like, stir up the narrative of, like, girls hating each other.

Yeah.

And I was so proud of her. She literally was like, look, I respect Caitlin Clark. I love Caitlin Clark. But if you're on the court, with me on the court, you're my fucking competition.

Yeah, she's not. I was competitive.

I have no beef with her.

Right.

She goes, she's amazing. She's done so much for women's basketball. On the court. I'm a beat your ass.

Right?

And that's called, like, sports.

No, literally.

And Angel Reese, if the men were.

Talking trash to each other, they do all the time.

Oh, my God, that was such a good line. Yeah, we should, like, the men are, like, sub tweeting each other.

Travis Kelsey almost beat the shit out of his coach during the game. We were like, amazing. And Angel Reese is like, you're a bitch. And they're like, a murderer? No.

But she also. The men have been so amazing, though. Like Shaq and Paul Pierce. I come from a big basketball family.

Oh, you do?

My grandpa was a basketball coach. Oh.

I actually.

We talk in basketball terms. Like, my dad is so obsessed with women's basketball. Why'd you bring up Hannah's grandpa?

We know this.

I get very.

I don't like it. Get.

I brought it up, but I got mad at you. You knew that was a sensitive topic for me. You knew that my grandpa likes basketball. Don't bring up anything my grandpa's ever done. I actually did know your grandpa was a basketball coach. Did I tell you I went on Heather McMahon's podcast? Shout out, Heather McMahon. I'm fucking obsessed with her. It's called absolutely not. And she goes, you know what I hate? Because her dad died. And she was like, those people who are mad about their grandpa dying. And I go, this is so awkward.

But, like, this is so uncomfortable.

Don't you ever bring up my grandpa again. I know. That man was a freaking idiot. He was a saint, goddamn it. Speaking of grandparents, it's my papa's birthday. Shout out, papa. Yes.

Happy birthday, papa.

And this is the most italian shit ever. My nana gets on the phone, she goes, oh, I couldn't sleep the other night. Cause I was thinking about the insurance for his grave, and I don't know what I'm gonna. I said, nana, what are you talking about?

She goes, italian people are obsessed with death.

They're obsessed with death. She goes, and, are we gonna do sandwiches or dessert? Like, what is it gonna be?

What's the vibe?

Yeah. What's this? What am I gonna wear? I don't know what to do. Like, he's just. And she's also, like, fully sure that he's dying before her. Right. Which is very tiny woman. Cause, like, she sucked the life out of him. He has nothing left.

Yeah.

And they shrivel out. And the women always.

No, I saw a thing on. It was definitely on TikTok that, like, Italians legitimately are obsessed with death. So are irish people, because, like, in Sicily, like, a volcano could happen at any time. So they were always like, well, you could die. Yeah.

Well, with the Irish, they've had so many struggles. Everything's just like, how are you? Who's dead? Literally, like, Dez is so comfortable. They're so des. Also, like, whenever anyone dies, he's the calmest person. He's like, okay, we gotta go here. We gotta do this. It's quite comforting.

Yeah. So just not at a super eight motel.

Oh. Can I say one thing about old people too?

I would love to love it.

Apparently. Apparently, like, when men die, their wife will, like, live and be fine.

Yeah.

Cause, like, she's just like, oh, yeah. They got away off my chest where it's proven that, like, when women die, there's all these stories of men, like, dying two weeks later, just dying. Like, my great grandma passed away, and she was, like, 96, and her husband, nothing wrong with him, dies in two weeks.

Like, of a broken heart.

Of a broken heart, of just, like, there's no reason for me to live. And that's, like, honestly, I think men are actually so much more romantic than women. I love.

I would love to think that.

I truly would.

I would love to think that. They're like, how could I go on? But in reality, let's call it what it is. They're like, well, I'm certainly not gonna do all this shit, so I might as well pack it the fuck in.

He just pulls out his iv.

He's like, yeah, I think we're good here. I think we've done all we came to do.

I have to make the pasta.

Absolutely no fucking way. Cut it now. Cut it now.

So, anywho, wait, what was I talking about? Basketball.

Mm hmm.

The men are really speaking very kindly about the women.

Are they?

Like, Shaq is like, I don't even know who's playing in the men's college basketball. The girls have the fun storylines, and the girls are also, like, they're fashionable. They're cool.

We give a story.

Yeah.

Like, we are giving.

One of them's a legit rapper. Like, they're all. They're just, like, funny and gorgeous and cool and, like, it just. It warms my heart. Like, it warms my heart so much, I could cry.

No, we love women in sports.

We love women in sports. But I'm a little nervous about the men. Like, Chris, are you okay? I'm great. I'm doing well. Thank you. As long as Chris is okay.

We did the men's march madness. We did that. Did that happen?

No one knows, actually, who won men's march. No one knows. The last game is tonight.

Actually, it's Youka, just like a man. Because it's April, you know? So, like, I don't gotta.

Okay.

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Can I talk about mom math?

Sure.

Are you familiar with mom math? I don't know if anyone's talked about this before, but mom math is a real thing.

Okay.

So basically my mom called me and she was like, she's like, you're home, right? And I was like, yeah. And she's like, yeah, because I was worried about the rain. And I know that you normally book flights around eleven because you want to sleep in, so I figured you're on that delta flight. And then I figured you were probably around, like, georgia 2 hours in, and I knew the rain had passed by that time. Yeah. So I knew you would have landed. And then I'm obviously checking your find my location. So I knew we were. And I go, and that's my math.

No, I love when my mom shows.

She knew my flight number.

She'll ask me, hey, are you here? And I will say, yes. And she'll say, okay. And then I'll be like, you have my location. Like, you are the only person on the planet who has my location and will text me, where are you? I'm like, you can see the exact.

Room that you're in.

She's like, but what if your phone got taken and your phone is there, but you're personally not and you don't answer?

Mom math is also like, when you get to her place, she knows how hungry you are at all times. Yeah, she always knows. Mom math is also like, she knows when you have to start getting ready so you're not late.

Mamath is also like, you'll be on the phone. This happened to me this morning. I'll be on the phone. With my mom for, like, 25 minutes doing our check in of everything, and then halfway through, she'll go, what's wrong with. And I'll go, no, nothing. And she'll go, Paige, what's wrong? And I'll go, okay, what's the wrong?

Actually, I just, like, I didn't.

And she'll be like, mm hmm, mm hmm. Well, why did you say this when we got on the phone?

Why are we talking about Eggman Parmesan for the first 30 minutes?

And it's like, she tricked me. She knew right when we got on the phone, something was wrong, but I needed time to, like, let it simmer. And then she knew at the exact scientific moment to say what's wrong for the waterworks.

Have you seen Nick curls special?

I might have.

Here's the funniest bit about moms. How he's like, moms just try too hard. And he's like, you know when they just text you an article and you're like, why are you fucking sending me this? Where your dad will be like, hey, I wanted to see your game, but I didn't show up. And you're like, thanks, daddy. It's like, dad plays hard to get.

Why is it that every. I think people are meaner to the people they feel most comfortable with?

My dad will text me once every two weeks, and I'll be like, he's an angel.

No, this actually makes so much sense because, like, this is, like, a little bit not related, but also kind of.

I mean, when has anything been related?

Literally every Monday when we record giggly. Every Sunday night, I say, okay, tomorrow I'm gonna wake up. I'm gonna shower. I'm gonna do my makeup. I'm gonna put a cute outfit on. I'm gonna record giggly. Cause sometimes when I see our clips, I'm like, why did I wear that? Why do I look like that? And then I realized I physically can't do glam for giggly squad because this is my most authentic self, and I feel like the universe doesn't let me go into some type of, like, oh, you have to wear a mini skirt to record giggly. It's like, no, put your hair up in a bun. Don't put any makeup on. And, like, be yourself.

That is such a magical, beautiful statement. And first of all, we are so thankful for your authentic self showing up every Monday. And it's so fucking true. But that's why gigglies therapy. Cause we do a lot of things that people see us through weird lenses, that this is where we can be pure. But not to make this about me. But that's how I felt when I was trying to find an outfit for Netflix and I was fighting with people because, you know, like, you can put on an outfit that looks good, but I have to feel, like, so fully myself to actually, like, do the jokes. Right, which is what you're doing now. You're like, I can't be funny while also trying to be a different Persona. And that's why I said, would olivia and pay taxes?

No.

So, like, it's like, if you had to do well, when we do outfits for the giggly shows.

Yeah.

It's kind of a similar vibe where, like, you have to feel an energy from the outfit.

Yeah. Like, giggly squad live is the only time I never stress about my outfit. And I put it. I pick it out the night before. Cause I'm like, it's not.

It's about the vibes.

It's about the vibes.

Exactly.

So anyhow, anyhow, and I accidentally booked a facial this morning where they came to my house.

Wait, you're obsessed with the house thing now? Well, I'm trying to get these girls to laser my pussy at my house. They.

First of all, I got ready for a Netflix special this weekend, because I.

Literally, like, that's every week for you.

I was like, what if I fuck around and get a lymphatic drainage massage? So I did that. No, I had booked laser for her to come to my apartment this morning to laser my legs. And then her sister also showed up and was like, I'm here for your facial. And I was like, oh, okay. So, like, I laid down on the couch, had a facial while my legs were getting lasered. So I was like, I can't put makeup on and get ready for a giggly.

This is what, like, my mom is like. You have to be more like Paige. Paige takes care of herself.

No.

And it cuts to you having eight people.

I'll be a giggly squad in an hour.

This is my thing, though, about the laser girls. And they dm me, and I'm gonna get back to them, and I can't wait. Cause clearly me showing up once a month is not working.

No, I do it once every six weeks.

Why do I have hair inside my labia?

Wait, here's another thing I wanna say. No, I mean, that's a personal situation.

They need to open it up like a burrito.

No, this is why we're gonna laser our vaginas. Because she was doing my legs and I was like, what is the deal that, like, it's some laser places? I literally have had to walk out because it hurts my legs so much. But, like, when you do it, I don't even feel it. And she was like, I genuinely think because we do it at home, you're already so relaxed. Cause you're on your own couch. Like, it's fine.

Does she use the air or the gel? Uh, like, is it cold air coming on you?

Yeah, a little bit, I think.

Okay.

No gel.

Like, she doesn't put anything on your leg. You were blacked out.

No, I was plying.

You were.

I was in. I was living like, well, I'm like, sorry. Spa music was playing in my ear and a Gua show was going over my face. I was like, what is a job?

Speaking of documentaries.

Yes.

I don't know how this happened. It, like, it didn't come across my desk. Billie Eilish did a documentary in 2021 on Apple TV that I just never saw. I never saw. It was fucking amazing. It was during the time of her creating her first really hit album.

Wow. I bet that would be really good. Cause she's young.

She was 17 or 16, which I can't imagine.

That actually makes me.

She's also gorgeous.

She's very pretty.

Like, gorgeous.

People don't give her enough credit for how stunning she is.

Talk about an x factor. And this crazy thing happened where she just seems, like, so cool. She's such a teenager. She's like, mom, shut up. And they're just in her bedroom with her brother. It's so adorable. They're kind of weird homeschool kids, 100%, but in a hippie kind of way. Oh, we let them just find their Montessori school. Yeah, she graduated at 14. Cause she was. I don't know.

We let them pee wherever they want to. Okay, well, that's a health hazard.

And it's funny cause the brother is kind of, like, straight edge. And then she's, like, all in her feelings. But I love this documentary. Cause it was a raw one where, like, it shows them in scenarios that are just.

Where are they from?

They're just from California.

Oh.

And basically, throughout all this craziness, she's living in her childhood home with her parents. And the mom multiple times is like, I don't know how these young kids did it without their parents around.

I know. Oh.

In the public, she comes back from tour and, like, goes back into her house, creates music in her house. And I think that's actually so smart. Cause sometimes when people blow up, I feel like within, you blow up. And then in a couple months, you have a whole new house, all new, different people around you working for you.

That's about, like, charli D'Amelio. Like, I get so I'm like, oh, my God, what are people? Sometimes I feel like people, like, threw her into things. I'm like, she's literally a kid. And now she's, like, in this massive house and she's like, well, even.

Have you seen the Dasha girl? She sings the Austin song. She blew up like, a month ago. And with this song, did your lips start? It's so good. And she's so cool. And she just performed on the CMT awards, and it was like, and how old is she? I don't know how old she is, but she's young. But it was just like, sometimes the drastic shit. Like, a lot of people, by the time they perform at the CMT awards, they've already done, like, a full tour of eight months performing.

That's why I can't imagine what it was like when they were on Laguna beach and they were in high school. What it would be like doing a reality show at, like, that age or being going to the Grammys at 17. Like, what? Amazing.

But Laguna beach, I'm kind of jealous because, like, social media wasn't the same. So, like, you could walk around and only be reminded that you're famous because you were on a magazine, right? Instead of, like, now you, like, go on your phone and people are talking about you and you're like, oh, but the Billie Eilish documentary, first of all, she has Tourette's.

Does she?

And it's incredible. Cause they would show, like, when she was having kind of a tic attack and she would be verbally, like, annoyed by it. Like, sorry, guys, this is so fucking annoying. Let me just get this out. And she showed this relationship with this guy who clearly wasn't, like, prioritizing her. The cutest part, though, was she seems like. She seems so cool and she has her own style and you see her in her own teenage angst, but then you remind her that she's a 17 year old girl who was completely obsessed with Justin Bieber. It cuts when the mom. And the mom was like, some days she was so love sick that Justin Bieber didn't know who she was, that she would cry. And she's like, I fully felt. She's like, you know, even ex boyfriend, you see them around afterwards, like, oh, that was my boyfriend. Like, that's how I feel when I see him now. Like, I dated him in my childhood.

Oh, my God.

But girls were obsessed. The girls who were a little younger than us were obsessed.

But you want to know what's crazy? Okay. Yeah. They were a little bit younger than us, and they loved Justin Bieber, but we had probably. I mean, we had to have had, like, a similar.

Well, we kind of had, like. I guess maybe like, just really?

Yeah. But I never in my life. Never in my life have I loved a celebrity so much that I had a po. Here's what it is. Not a poster girly.

I wasn't a poster girly.

Never had a poster up in my bedroom of anyone.

Yeah. Yourself. You just had photos of yourself. Well, limited to posters everywhere, as you should.

At some point in my house, it looked like I had died in my house.

It's so pointless. It was like.

And here is the shrine of Paige.

Just.

I'm like, I'm alive. I'm at the dinner table, you know? Like, here I am.

Don't wait till someone passes to appreciate them. No, don't Picasso. It literally, let's admire the work right now. So anyway, you're watching her life kind of blow up, and then she. She gets off a performance that she hated, and they show her, like, she forgot some words to a song. And she was. She gets off stage and she's like, I fucking sucked. Like, it's so funny to see how human they are. And then she's all upset. Her boyfriend's not texting her back, and she gets a call of someone being like, hey, Justin Bieber wants to jump on your album.

Oh, my God. I thought you're gonna say. Wants to, like, hey, just. Bieber wants to jump on your dick.

I don't know why that is what.

My head went to, but she literally.

She, like, blacks out. And she's like, he could, like, kill my whole family. Like, he could do whatever he wants.

Yeah.

And then they show her at Coachella, and they show the moment that they're, like, in the vip section. And he sees her. She sees him, and she literally, like, runs away from him. And he just stands there and she keeps just look like she's having a full, like, hilarious. She's funny. Yeah, but he's just staring at her and she's like, no, no. Like, freaking out.

Yeah.

And then it cuts to her sobbing in his arms. She's crying in his arms for, like, five minutes. Like, he's just holding her, and there's, like, music.

Oh, my God.

And then it cuts to her back in the green room, and she's like, I just cried in Justin Bieber's arm for five minutes.

No, I don't.

But then you think about, like, oh, Billy's so young experiencing this. But then imagine what Justin Bieber's experiencing. He's only 25, and he's has this, like, weight of the world on his shoulder.

I feel so bad for Justin Bieber.

He was so supportive of her. Like, he called her. He's like, I love you. You're incredible. Like, enjoy the moment. Like, he's.

I love Justin Bieber.

I want him to put out more music.

I do too. I feel like he's like, I think.

He'S the songbird of our generation. We haven't fully appreciated it, like, the talent.

And I feel like we didn't listen to him when things were going on when he was 17, and, like, everyone's just criticizing him. I feel myself. This is actually really scary. I feel myself getting more and more emotional as I get older. And I don't know if it's because my hormones are regulating, but, like, over the weekend, I found myself being like, aw, I feel bad for that person.

Wait, so you're saying for the first time you felt empathy?

Like, I was on TikTok and everything was just like, jojo siwa. Jojo siwa. Jojo siwa. And I was just like, do you.

Know what's so funny? I was about to say, hot take.

Hot take. I feel bad for her.

Hot take. Hot take. We support Jojo Siwa.

Yeah. Hot take.

We support women in the arts.

Yeah. I'm like, okay, I saw this on TikTok and was like, you wanna know why everyone hates Jojo Siwa and Jennifer Lopez right now? And I'm like, oh, my God, why? And they were like, because they love themselves. And I was like, God forbid a.

Woman try to be confident in this harsh, horrible world we live in.

I totally get the cringe worthy moments that Jojo Siwa is doing and how she has these ideas of grandeur that she thinks, like, she's.

But don't we teach girls to be delusional? Be delusional.

And I'm like, I get it. I get it. I get that j. Lo loves herself so much, but maybe instead of just making fun of them so badly and being so mean to them, it would be more like, hey, maybe just a tad bit of self awareness. But I don't think people need to go on and be like, you're the worst thing ever. Has anyone ever watched what happened to Jojo Siwa? As a child on dancing with dance moms. Like, she was.

We did not learn from Britney. We did not learn from Kate Middleton. Did we not just say with the Internet that, like, when women are going through something, don't fucking attack them? And Justin Bieber. How many mistakes we're gonna make? This innocent angel, Jojo Siwa, was traumatized in the public eye her whole life. Her whole life.

Her whole life.

She was basically put makeup on at four years old and told to dance like a monkey.

Right? Like, think about. Yes. Told to dance was screamed at. Like, I kept seeing clips of, like, verbally, physically abused, screaming at her for literally nothing was splitting at a young age.

I'm happy that she's not Amanda Bynes at this point.

Right? And then to go from, okay, I'm actually. Is she bisexual or is she a lesbian?

I think she's lesbian.

I'm actually a lesbian. And I'm the apple of every child's eye.

How the fuck am I gonna do?

I'm not. How do I transition? Okay, so maybe you guys didn't like that she thinks that she's creating this whole new genre of music. You didn't like her outfit? You didn't like the song, which I think is actually.

The song was catchy, as I cannot get it out of my head.

But, like, think about her life as a whole.

Yeah.

And, like, I started to feel bad for. I'm like, oh, my God, here. This poor girl is like, I'm putting out this song. I'm so excited. You go on TikTok. Everyone's just hating it. And so I felt so bad when.

I brought up Amanda Bynes. It's like, everyone's making fun of Amanda Bynes right now, and it's a product. It's not her fault. It's all the horrible shit she went through. And Jojo Siwa is fighting the good fight.

And then in the same weekend, I was like, everyone was making fun of the earthquake, and, oh, there were so many funny memes. And in my head, I was like, wait a minute. Like, an earthquake happened in Taiwan recently and a lot of people died, and now we're making fun of our earthquake. And I was so emotional over it, and I was like, what is happening? So I didn't go out all weekend because I couldn't see anyone in that.

Do you think you're pmsing?

I don't know.

Cause that's how I get when I pms.

You get really sad for everything. Yeah.

And I get really in my head about the meaning of life and I'm like, why? Because.

It could be because. Okay, let's be honest. I haven't had my period in a year, so I haven't. PM's really? I was so emotional this weekend. Like, I was tearing up that people.

Were being mean to Joey. No, but I was getting upset, too, because at the end of the day, first of all.

I'm like, what if someone got hurt during the earthquake?

Meanwhile, I'm fighting for my life at a super eight, and you don't give a shit, but you're crying over rich Jojo Siwa. Also the jojo Siwa. First of all, the song's about. Second of all, people were like, she didn't really change her outfit. It's basically the same thing, but just black and white.

Yeah.

Cause she's on theme. Like, she's still Jojo. She's still quirky.

I mean, yeah. Was what she wore, that red carpet, like, the kiss outfit, absolutely ridiculous. 100%.

Well, someone also was like, oh, is it giving, like, Jean Simmons? And she was like, who is that? So that was very funny. This is the thing. I think she just needs maybe better people around her.

I think, yeah, she needs a whole new team.

She needs a friend to be like, she needs a friend like you. You know, when I have an idea and I come up with a lot of ideas and some of them should be tarred and feathered, and you go, you know what? I love your creativity. Yeah, I see it.

I love the way your brain works.

But not this time.

Yeah.

Distract me with something else.

I think she could have had. I know she really wanted to have that Miley Cyrus. Like, oh, my God, she's so different. I think she could have with just a different pr team. I think whoever her manager is. Sorry, hate to say it, you're out.

But then some people would argue, if she had made it too good, would she not have gotten the attention that she got through this? Like, everyone's talking about it. Like, it did. It kind of worked.

She was a girl that, like, in her own home, her kitchen table had her face on it, her refrigerator had her face on it. So, yeah, I'm sure growing up, people were like, you're amazing. You're amazing. And then she started thinking, oh, I'm amazing. So now we're mad that she's a little too self confident? Well, her whole life, people were like, you're the best.

But I also would argue. She went on Nick Vial's podcast, and she literally said, I don't get mad at comments, because all those things are things I've said to myself that makes me so shocked.

You can say any mean thing.

Cause I've already said it to myself.

And that makes me sad.

But Jojo Siwa has dealt with so much hate. It's a la Justin Bieber where all the kids like them and everyone's like, she fucking sucks. That girl has been torn apart to shred so many times.

I can't imagine. Cause when I'm on TikTok and I happen to get one and it's like, paige disorder, but I'm like, oh, my God. I couldn't have scrolled faster. That's terrifying. So I couldn't imagine how she felt this weekend. She couldn't even go on to brow.

And also, like, I don't think she's necessarily insanely cocky. I think it comes from, like, deep hurt and pain. And then obviously you're gonna pitch your song and be like, this song's fucking awesome. You're not gonna go on a carpet and be like, it's average. And, like, it's kind of.

Just because we also get mad at girls who do that, too. Yeah. When Dakota Johnson was like, I didn't see the movie. Don't plan on it, we were like, that's horrible. But then if Jojo's like, it's the best song ever, we're like, you're stupid. Yeah, there's no winning.

And I do think not to make it gendered, but when men are like, it's amazing. They're like, well, yeah, man did it. Or if it's bad, we make fun of it. And then we quickly forget, like, in three, we're like, haha, that was stupid. Quickly forget it. Quickly, quickly. So anyway, justice for Jojo, Siwa.

Justice for Jojo. And like, this is the.

There's so many shitty people to actually make fun of. And like, right? Jojo didn't hurt anyone.

No, he really didn't do anything bad.

The woman who working at Spirit Airlines, I think, was Abby Lee Miller. She looks identical to Abby Miller.

Can you just talk about that for a minute? Any TikTok I get about Abby Lee Miller, I'm like, if I ever met you in real life, I would turn the other way. You're terrifying. How has no one fully canceled her just from the shit she used to say to seven year old? Could you imagine looking at a seven year old and being like, you fucking suck?

That's what I almost did at the super eight. I was like, what the fuck are you looking at, you dumb bitch?

But I'm like that. You're an insane.

She called me poor. The kid called me. She was like, what are you doing, you poor bitch? And I was like, okay, you don't even have a job. Maybe she. Maybe she was working at the super. Also, side note, a little bit about fashion. I'm so excited. Cause as we were talking about, like, adidas Pan Sarah Ann.

Right.

Which is, like, my religion. Cause that's, like. It's basically, like, warm up pants. You always wear, like, I wore in college. That's what you wear. And I have never figured out shorts for my body type.

Okay.

Cause, you know, I have a fat ass, thick thighs, t I h I c c. Wait.

I feel like. Have I ever seen you in shorts? I don't know.

I've seen you in denim shorts. Denim shorts. It's just, like, there's chaffage. I feel like it's just so uncomfortable. It's, like, up my pussy. Like, up my.

I feel like I rarely wear a short.

I know, and I. But the thing is, I'm hot all the time, so I'm like, how good would today be if I could wear a short? Now the girls in Barcelona and Berlin.

Are wearing, like, boxer shorts.

Boxer shorts. Or the Adidas basketball shorts, but not even the long ones, but, like, the mid ones, which is what I would practice in Tennyson. And I'm like, those are my shorts.

They're very in for the shorts.

It was not socially acceptable to just wear an Adidas short. This is my time to shine page. Like, this is. I'm almost, like, upset that it's a trend, because after this, I have nothing. So I'm like, what's the shoe you're.

Gonna throw on a ballet sneaker? I sent Hannah or Instagram, that the ballet sneaker is making a.

People said it's literally you plus me in a shoe.

No, I think that someone listened to giggly squad and was like, oh, Hannah loves crocs and chunky sneakers, and Paige loves a ballet flat, and my foot.

Literally can't fit in a ballet flat. But if it's a sneaker, so, like, I might wear that. This is the thing. People like the adidas shorts with the cowgirl boot or a boot, but, like, I'm telling you, my calves be sweating.

Yeah. I honestly think, like, how cute would, like, a little adidas short be with, like, a strappy sandal?

Why do I always. When people say strappy sandal, I think of a gladiator.

No, I hate. You want to know what fun fact about me? Hate a gladiator shoe. I do, too hate a gladiator.

Cause there's too much admin.

Hate a gladiator heel.

No.

Hideous. Being hideous. It's the same way I feel about wedges. Even though wedges are coming back. I hate a corkscrew wedge, which is very.

It was very hamptons for a second. Like, everyone in the Hamptons was wearing it.

I just don't. Sorry. I don't know what's going on with me this month, but out of the woodwork, just scraping, scrappling. People coming out of the woodwork that, like, I haven't spoken to in years, like, this month, like, hey, Paige, what's going on? Hey, Paige, could you, like, do this, this and this? And I'm like, what is mercury doing in my life? That in, like, I've had, like, seven different situations of the most random people texting me, being like, hey, do you think you could switch lives with me? And I'm like, what?

Dude, you have $100,000. No.

It's like, I'm getting some of the craziest outreach.

Do you want to take my baby?

And, like, I'm not equipped to be a mother right now. Like, I'm just. I'm ready for this month to be over because I don't know what's going on in the solar system.

Your energy is going through something right now. But, like, in a good way.

Guys, I feel like the amount of people I've cut off this month, I love it. You do look like, I feel lighter because the amount of people.

I've been like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon.

So funny. I'm never going to talk to you again, and you don't even know it.

But that's your thirties. No, your thirties is like, I don't have time for this. I think anxiety is caused by the fact that people can access you at any time and you feel obliged. What a big word.

Yeah.

To immediately respond, or you're a dick. And as a people pleaser, I'm like, this is a full time job.

No.

You ever, like, have 3 hours off, but you end up. You're just responding to email, to phone, to the. And then you're like, I lost the 3 hours.

Yes.

And I feel empty.

And I'm like, I don't even know how I did this. Yeah, no, so I'm all about ghosting.

I feel like you wrote retrograde boundaries tests. What's that?

I don't know.

Cause that sounds. That sounds interesting.

I forgot. Wait, this is what I did want to bring up to you, though. Cause we were talking about, like, flights last episode. I kept seeing on TikTok this great debate. You're traveling with someone, your significant other, your boyfriend, husband. Whomst ever.

Before you begin, I just wanted to say I do not care to sit next to them. Continue.

Okay. Not the question, but I'm glad we got that out.

I'm glad the people know that.

Des.

Absolutely.

Buzz off. Your boyfriend has TSA pre clear all the accouterments. Yes. You have zip, zilch, zero. Yes. You're in the general line with the literal common folk. You absolute idiot. He's in the TSA pre line. Are you mad at him for not standing with you?

He should be mad at you for not taking the time to figure out the best way for you two to travel together and not get divorced. And I'm speaking from a place of. I was that girl in the long line.

Yeah.

Cause I got clear, and I thought that was good enough.

Yeah. Turns out, unpopular opinion. Clear is a little bit of a scam. I feel like everyone has clear.

Well, now everyone's getting clear. When you go to LGA or JFK, you do the digital id.

However, they added another thing when I.

Was in Columbus, but then it's also.

Like, are you priority or digital id? Or click. I'm like, it's a lot.

When I was in Columbus, Ohio, rip. I see a line, right? And there's no one in clear, and there's no one in precheck. So I go, fuck clear. I'm going Precheck. So I go and pre check, and then a bunch of people go to clear. And the lady just, like, weighs the clear people in. I said, that's okay. And then she gets the normal people.

Have fun taking off your shoes.

Stupid bitch. And then more people come in clear. And she looks at clear, and she goes, continue. I ended up waiting for, like, 20 clear people, and there was a guy. There was one guy in front of me, and it got to the point where he kind of turned back and be like, what the f. Is this?

Yeah.

And I looked at him, I said, do you want me to karen this? And he didn't laugh. He just turned away. I thought it was hilarious. I was about to be like, hey, pre check is here. I was like, do you want me to carry in this? Cause whenever I get upset, I'm like, that's hilarious.

There's nothing like making a hilarious joke to a stranger and them just staring at you. And I'm like, I can't believe I even wasted cause he was a man.

I was a woman. I was like, I could care in this.

Yeah, that's a point where, like, if.

More than one person's mad as a New Yorker, you can speak for the group.

Yeah.

Do you know when, like, you're not being a dick? Cause you're like, we need, like. I love when New Yorkers combine to be pissed off together. This is.

Yes. They're like, let's collectively say how fucked up this is.

Apologize to the academy right now. Cause once I have some people on my back, I'm not being rogue.

Right.

And he didn't commit to the bit, and then we ended up just waiting, and he was, like, scoffing and I'm like, you should let me care in this shit.

I recently have just been blaming things on the mayor. I'm like, if the mayor doesn't care, why should I? I feel like I'm so old. I'm like, well, you know, our mayor doesn't give a shit, so I'm certainly not going to. I could be anywhere about anyone's mayor too. The mayor is awful.

You lost your wallet.

My enemies literally couldn't be working more over time.

Is that retrograde?

I think so, because I cried myself. I don't lose a thing. I don't. I just don't lose things.

I don't accept your mind.

I don't misplace things. I'm very organized. Everything in my home has a place, so if something's missing, it's not my fault.

We live a completely different life. Whenever Des and I have to leave the house, we go, where is anything? Now? It takes us 30 minutes to leave the house.

It couldn't be me.

All des does is, where's this? Like, I would know where his stuff is. And then he thinks I moved it when I didn't.

That's a huge.

Or my mom comes to, like, organize, and then we can't find anything, and we're like, would you rather be organized and not find anything or unorganized, but know that your wallet's on the floor?

So I lost my fucking wallet in Charleston.

That's my biggest. Wait. Incredible. Where? I guess it's lost. So you don't know.

This is the other thing. Craig's never looked for something in his. A day in his life. I don't actually think he knows how to open his eyelids. So, like, if I say to him, hey, can you look for this? I might as well have asked a monkey at the zoo to get on a flight.

He's, like, looking in the fridge.

So I knew it was gone. I knew even if it was there, I wouldn't be able to find it until I got back there. But I couldn't wait that long. I had to get new cards.

I don't do this, but I really feel like we should put airtags in our wallets.

Well, it's funny because I have an airtag for anything, like suitcase wise or travel wise, but I don't. For my everyday purse or my keys or keys.

I feel like I should, but I.

Probably now I will because losing your.

Wallet'S the worst feeling in the world.

Well, I lost my id.

No, it's. You feel naked. You feel like you're cast away on an island and you can't focus on any conversation. Cause you're like, I don't have my wallet. They could tell. Have you been to the Fort Lauderdale airport?

Not willingly.

I support most airports. I really do. Fort Lauderdale, I walk into the bathroom and there's a huge line. No bathroom as toilet paper. And there's women. There's attendants there, but they don't care. Use your fucking hand.

Yeah, figure it out.

And then there's no soap.

No.

And I just use my hand.

I support a lot of. I support Newark Airport. I support LaGuardia. I support Detroit heavily.

Detroit's beautiful. Detroit is stunning. Atlanta, okay.

The Atlanta airport I do fuck with. But it's so big.

Yeah, it's huge.

It's huge.

I've ran through it multiple times.

The Charleston airport. Well, you're on my fucking list.

The thing with the Charleston airport is it's the garage. Like, it's a tiny.

My dad could run it. Honestly, if you got my dad and a couple friends, they'd have that airport running seamlessly.

I'm gonna be honest, I fly like four times a week. Yeah, I don't know any, like, I don't know what airport I'm in ever.

I know you don't.

Like, I will sometimes not know if I'm in JFK or LGA. I'm just like, we arrived new year.

Hate JFK. I love Laguardia.

LaGuardia's gorgeous. Except it does take, like 15 minutes sometimes to get somewhere. And if you. It's a whole thing.

But LAx, they can't figure out their uber situation. They need some police officers, like, running.

This is a classic not New York situation in Fort Lauderdale. Then I was like, oh, I'm gonna get a coffee and a bagel, obviously. And the whole place has no Starbucks or Dunkin no. So I'm like, okay. So then I find, I guess, like a cafe. And there's just, like, a lady there. Yeah. Who, like, honestly, I feel so bad for them. Cause she's fighting for her fucking life. Cause for some reason she has to make espressos and lattes while also making people sandwiches. And this is the only.

She's only one woman.

There's only one woman. This is the only cafe.

How could you even.

So, the line's insane. And then by the time you get up there, she's just like, exactly. She's defeated. And I'm like, you're like, at this point. And then she got, the woman in front of me was like, can I have a croissant? And the lady's like, we're out of croissants. And she goes, I can see the croissants. And she's like, that's a croissant with an almond on top. And she's like, yeah, give me the croissant with an. People are losing their mind. Croissant.

Croissant.

Croissant. Sorry. I went to Paris.

I downloaded Duolingo. Sorry. I have the babbel app. Oh.

And then they have all these things to make things faster. You know, where you can, like, do the digital stuff, like order on the digital thing.

Yeah.

None of the screens work.

Amazing.

But it doesn't say none of the screens work. So you watch everyone get really excited to go up, and then they go to each one. It doesn't work.

No. And then I hate when things just when things don't work the way they're supposed to, when technology doesn't work the way it's supposed to, and when people don't do their jobs like that, they're hired to do. I can't, I can't.

I'm gonna say, like, the most bratty thing.

Yeah.

I hate when you go to a restaurant and you want breakfast and it says it's serving breakfast, and you sit down and they go, oh, there's no breakfast available. And you're like, well, obviously, I was just here for your fucking breakfast. And it's like, did the eggs disappear at 1102?

That's like a Larry David episode. No, it literally is.

I'm like, I can see the egg. Yeah, I can see fry it. But there must be a real reason. And if someone knows dm me, because I'd love to know. That's why I love diners. But then after I ordered my sandwich and I realized, oh, I need, like, a coffee. But I didn't want her to make a latte. So I'm like, I'm gonna get a Starbucks, like, pre made one behind. And there's a self checkout. I said, thank God.

Thank God.

She goes, ma'am, the self checkout doesn't work.

Of course it doesn't work.

And I look at her, and I go, did I have to go to the beginning of the line? And she's like, no, I'll do it. The person is pissed. Yeah. I'm like, of course. And, you know, anyway, life is hard.

So anyway, don't look up at the sun during the eclipse.

Wait. Oh, is that clips happening right now?

No, it's gonna happen soon. We have to be home for it because I'm actually really freaked out by it. Don't look at it. This will come out after. So if you looked at it, you're fucked.

What happens, though? Didn't Trump look at it?

I looked into it.

Trump looked at it. Yeah.

Like, astrology wise and, like, oh.

Like, energy wise.

I really believe the Native American. So if the Native Americans say something superstitious, I'm like, no, they fucking know what they're talking about. And they specifically said, don't look at the solar eclipse, because it's the sun, like, renewing itself, and she needs to do it in private.

Wow.

And that's why she has the moon coming up.

Someone tweeted, just like, the lunar eclipse, don't look at me. So look at me. I'm recharging.

You were saying, like, people that looked at it in 2017 had bad luck until now.

And, like, so you're basically like, don't even go outside in case, like, the demons in your head are like, look at it. Look at it. I dare you. You won't. Yeah, yeah. So just stay inside.

No, I'm not.

I don't know what an eclipse is, and honest, I don't really care.

Do you want something to really grind your gears? Woody, your Harrelson, the leggings in.

Did you say Woody or Harrelson?

Yeah.

Is that a thing people say?

No, it's just, like, a guy's name. But on TikTok, you haven't seen people saying people's names. You could do it with any. Really? Hannah, your burner.

Oh, okay. Okay. This is new to me. Okay.

So all of our leggings, like, workout leggings, like, regular, like, lululemon. Yeah. Toxins. Literally filled with toxins. And because we're sweating in them, because you're working out in them, your pores are opening to get, like, your sweat out.

Yeah.

And the toxins are going in your pores. So we can't even more leggings anymore. Wait, they've ruined leggings.

Wait, but athleisure's, like, certain brands have.

More than other ones, like the cheaper brands, but by toxic, like microplastics, it's like cancer. Like, it's.

Can get, like, St. Ives.

It's your own.

St. Ives is hilarious. What did they comment?

They were like, St. Ives has left the chat.

That's hilarious. Honestly, now I'm a fan of St. Knives.

You know what my favorite thing to realize is? Every funny brand on social media is backed by a woman. There is a group of girls in a room, the marketing team, saying, this is funny. Post this.

Yeah.

Like, and that makes it even happier. Like, ll bean DM'd me. And I said, guys, I've been a fan of you since my 8th grade backpack. And I like treating brands as if they are the actual thing. And it's funny.

Human behind will hit you up and be like, hey, we're gigglers.

Yeah. And I'll be like, chick la.

I mean, Taco Bell is all gigglers.

And it's all just a bunch of girls on the marketing team running the world. Everyone that is funny on a brand, it's because a female is running that job. I want to know what brand social media is run by men.

Have you heard the hear me out trend? Hear me out is basically people being like, hear me out. And they say people that they're attracted to that other people wouldn't. Oh, but people are being bad at it. Like, they're like Vince Vaughn.

Like, no, Gen Z sucks at it.

Yeah, they're like.

They're giving, like, legitim driver.

It's like he's a tall. Like, yeah. Like, oh, he's. His ears are a little big.

Who is yours?

Well, mine. I don't want to get the gay community mad at me, but will ferrell.

Yeah, but I feel like I would, like, hear me out. Okay.

Yeah.

I didn't know. I don't even need to hear you out.

Like, I would hook up with a funny, like, obese man.

I was just gonna say mine's Tony Soprano.

Yeah. Like, I find those guys hot.

Like, not hot Tony Soprano. Fat kid.

Do you love who I love?

You can hear men breathing because, like, they're just so gross, you know? Yeah, I love it. I'm like, you are gonna freak out when we have sex. That's what I think in my head. I'm like, you don't even know I'm.

About to blow his.

Oh, my God. This is the hottest girl I've ever had sex with. Cause you can't breathe without making a noise.

Wait, I wanna tell you who mine is. Chris Farley.

Yeah, that's a good one.

I love him. Cause I wanna get him alone in a room and be like, let's cut the jokes.

Are you okay? Well, he's dead, so now. But, like, that time period for comedy, I feel like, was probably, like, it would never be like that again.

Oh, yeah. So I watched a Steve Martin documentary.

Oh, was it good?

Well, I feel like our generation didn't really know Steve Martin. Like, we just. He was just, like, the older guy in some, like, sitcoms.

His humor actually isn't, like, I don't find that humor to be as funny.

So he. When you go back, he basically, like, is a comedy genius. And, like, changed the whole game for what stand up comedy was, because it used to be very, like, that's how the sixties were.

And he, like, rather than, like, storytelling, it was more joke, joke, joke.

It was just like a joke punchline.

Dirk, dirk, dirk. Yeah, yeah.

And Steve Martin was just, like, ironic and weird and would do all these, like, crazy things, but no one understood it for ten years. Like, he basically bombed for ten years.

Oh, my God.

And then one day, like, he kind of, like, started to get momentum, and then, like, a cool crowd started to follow him and he started selling out. Next thing you know, he became the biggest selling stand up comedian in the world.

Was he on Saturday Night Live?

He hosted it multiple times. Like, he was doing arenas. Like, I have chills. And then one day he goes, I don't want to do it anymore. He's never done it since, like, for years. Stand up. But it's like he almost, like, conquered it. And his. His whole schtick, he kind of, like, got to the point where he's like, people get it, and I'm uninspired, and I'm moving on.

I just love the TikToks of, like, clips from father of the bride. And they were like, the parents were supposed to be 45, and they look 102, and you're like, oh, my God. I'm closer to the parents age than the girl who got married.

No, literally, we're like, I'm 32. That's like, I'm too old to be a mom.

I said to someone the other day, they asked me something. I don't even know what this. This is woman asked me, and I was like, well, it's so crazy. Cause I'm like, I think of it in terms of my daughter, not myself going through it, because I'm closer to being someone's mom than I am to being someone's child. And I didn't like that when it came out of my mouth.

What is it?

Is it now?

I actually need a minute.

For you.

What age do you actually feel?

Oh, that's a great question. Genuinely, I feel like I'm 25.

Genuinely, I feel like I'm 82. Seven, generally. I feel like I'm 28.

Yeah, I feel like I like just.

Which kind of makes sense cause of COVID and shit. It's like kind of four year difference.

Wait, how old were we when we went into COVID?

2626-2627.

Yeah. Oh, wow.

Wait, your life stopped?

No, I'll cry. Cause I literally felt like it did.

When I tell people. When we started reality tv, we were both 26 and like, single. I mean, I don't know if you were.

No, I was 24.

No, you were 24. I was 24.

25.

You were 25. I was 26. Like, we were babies. Literal babies. Anyway, life goes by so fast. Thank you for giggling. Oh, my God, thank you for giggling with us. We love you guys so much and we are.

We need to talk about fruit leather.

We'll get to it next week.

We'll get to next week.

No, seriously, we're obsessed with you guys so much and we're gonna. We did a photo shoot for an announcement soon, which is cool.

Everyone knows what it's for. We're like, oh, happy Easter eggs. And they're like, okay, bet, just put the dates out. We're like, no, we got it. No, we got it. We just don't have them yet.

We're just trying to get it together.

We're just trying to figure it out.

We're trying to figure it out. We're trying our best. Okay, thanks for giggling. Bye.