Transcribe your podcast

Hi, everyone wins last time we recorded a podcast.


Well, I do not remember.


It's been a hot minute.


Mommy's home. Mommy's back. Good for you. Is back in production.


My health is wavering slowly, teeter totter slowly.


I'm triumphing over my health issues and I'm back. And I think the first thing we can maybe do is a balance beam of health concern.


I feel like we just need to address all the litany of elephants in the living room of everyone that thinks I'm an abusive relationship and falling on fake beams. We just falling on. We need to have a press conference addressing my Instagram over the last 30 days because people are worried.


People are scared. They are. What's the feedback with feedback? There's a lot of who hit Whitney. Does what you need help?


Please help Whitney for the love of God. Help Whitney. Honest.


It will be so much less embarrassing if someone was hurting me at this point and I've just been writing back, she's actually doing trapeze work.


But the other thing I keep getting is like, did she get a nose job? Did she? Because I busted my nose open on a table.


I'll tell you the story about who who bust their nose open and a nose job then goes and then takes a picture of it. What nose job starts with a cut right here? I know.


That's just people wanting so bad to be like she gets plastic surgery.


By the way, you guys, just so you know, when I if I get a nose job, I'll tell you. I know. Because she won't have a nose left. Her nose is already Voldemort's. That's how, you know, she was shot.


But by the way, you'll come with me. I'll be doing story. I'll get a nose job tagging hashtag and everyone will have nose job. Garth Fisher. Like, trust me, I'm not going to hide any plastic surgeries from you guys. I'm pretty open about that kind of shit. You don't I mean, it's like two days after I was blasting on Instagram my ass, like jiggling on a machine, like I don't have secrets from you guys.


I just love the idea of faults.


I'm too on the idea of people thinking that you set up a quick picture and just snapped a real quick shot of the doctor's first incision.


It is a sketchy story, though, because I thought in my Lunesta, Nyquil covid haze, which we'll talk about when Annie Letterman is here about, I did have covered and I thought I walked into a beam, which is a real beam. Yeah, no, that sounds even as I say it, it sounds like a lie.


I don't sound like a lie, but there is in the in the home state. Yeah.


And the rental home there are two just random beams that jut from the wall right by the door to the kitchen. Yeah.


It makes no sense. I had on them many times so there are just random beams in their home.


But what actually happened is even more embarrassing, which is that in the middle of the night I was so cold and I bent over to try to plug in a heater and slammed the side table as a coffee table. The side table, this big marble, it's a giant marble table. And I just slammed my face in it and went back to sleep, actually. And then like two hours later, I woke up in like a pool of blood and had to go get my nose stitched up.


It doesn't look I feel like it's going to heal, OK? Yeah, it's going to heal. Great. Yeah. But then I went to the Doctor Lanser and he just set my face on fire so that are all he'll tell matches to. Yeah. It made it, it just looked so much worse after that.


I mean the strangest part is the is the amount of injuries you got in a small amount of time. Yeah. It was wild. I mean from from the sickness to the to the UCI to the bus to go to the big hand.


But I of them were related, all of them, because it was my my guard was down like there was a door I had to foster a foster that tried to attack my dog Frank. And normally what I'm thinking clearly and not uncovered and like functional, you put your finger in the butthole, you put a finger in the butthole, wasn't thinking clearly, was too foggy. The dog went out. My dog, Frank, and I just put my hand right in its mouth and now my finger looks like a ginger root and I got a splinter.


You did get us what I did, by the way, guys, I fully, like, had my face is bleeding and bencic I have a splinter we need to take. It was a big splinter.


It was. What was it from this table. That's right. Which is going to pretty rough. I'm just going to go soon.


The spoon or the table. The table. Oh. So what else were people worried about. What else do we need to address.


People were mainly worried about why you kept posting bloody selfies. It was it was a very it was a very black market, dark web situation. People are like, she go to you for laughs and fun. And you were like, what if I was bleeding?


She's dating Armie Hammer. Now, people are very confused.


He's in the corners lapping up blood from a dog bowl. So should I take that down? It's already happened. I know. But I mean, people were sending us messages. Can you please put up a warning? Really? And I was like, no, this is Saul.


Oh, come on. Hard for all. Soft. Who cares? It's a. Bloody nose, never seen a bloody nose before, it's a bloody nose, a bit off ear, ripped apart hand femur my femur before. You've never seen my organs. I'm rose budding.


I don't know. Maybe I'm oversharing. I just feel like now I feel like the horse has left the barn in terms of oversharing with fans at this point.


Maybe it's just too much or too much. I think seeing your innards is alive, then you guys need to reel me in. Maybe someone else needs to run my social media. Is it too much?


It's over now. It's already happened. I know, but twenty, twenty, twenty one. Do you plan on posting more bloody files? I don't know. I guess not. You guys can handle it. You guys can handle a little blood. How do the fans have to know they're watching MJ fights and you can't watch one bloody nose on my feet.


Well, you don't wanna see someone you love be bloodied. I just want to know what you thought was going to happen. You're going to post myself drenched in blood. And then what was the reaction you were going to get?


I don't think she is great. They just wanted to share docilely.


I just want to share what's going on because I hadn't posted on Instagram stories for like four days. And people like, are you OK? She must be really sick. She's not posting stories.


So I just want to let them know I'm not ignoring you. I truly had, like, are you OK?


You're in. No one can hear you. See you abandoned.


Oh, I'm acting out bleeding. My new best friend. She's got very other thing I need you to have to watch on YouTube. Yeah.


Mentioned only does this for the viewers, not the listeners. Listen. Well, pretend he's fully miming. He's fully miming. If you would enjoy it. If you go to YouTube, it has no respect for our listeners. He only wants to fuck with our YouTube people and he refuses to.


Black is a blessing to be able to see that and says I have a face for YouTube, not multiple senses.


I'm doing the audio podcast. He's doing the video.


But I guess either way, we're doing a different show. What did you think was going to happen? I just was sharing I don't know.


I didn't think people would get, like, so upset. I don't know. I think you just made them sad. I'm sorry.


I'm sorry. You're right. I owe you an apology. It was out of line. I'm the I will own the mistake. Let's do it. Archive each. I take it down.


I don't know all those masks we made of your bloody face to sell those now.


Yeah. Maybe that was I went too far. That's kind of my brand though. I'm intense. You're in or you're out. You fuck with me or you don't you. About that.


You just being like a medical journal, Instagram. It's just different surgeries. I know, but yeah, my hand is healing. It was touch and go there for a second stitches. I know I got eight stitches on this finger. It was not great and but that's kind of par for the course for me. I, I don't, I don't mind a couple of scars here and there, you know.


OK, Rambo. OK, anything else I need to address.


Well, I mean you did go you were in and out of the hospital.


Yes. For a while there. Yes, yes, yes. Because I couldn't keep food down. So I was having to get like fluids and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I made friends with a lot of nurses.


It was while we were going to go somewhere and Christmas together and then we got tested on the 24th. And I just I mean, I just thought I was like getting old. Like my my bones were hurting, my muscles were hurting. I was like I just felt like that's my body now, like just getting older. Thirty eight years old. And then I actually felt a little bit relieved when he was like, you have cold, but I was oh thank God.


I thought I was just getting old. Like there was a little bit of a relief in the diagnosis.


Oh, OK. As sick as that is, it's a creepy virus, dude. It's a creepy virus. Emily, Emily, just so you guys know, New Year, new system. We have Emily Noonan, my former assistant from five years ago.


Yeah. Who is now running the podcast, making sure we are on time shooting opens, delivering to you guys being more organized. There she is.


Emily and I and I met five years ago. I was interviewing for an assistant. Oh, we met seven years ago.


Oh, but I worked for you for three years.


Right. OK, this math is fuzzy. Very fuzzy. I have an excuse. I go. But that's why you go south. I'm not the numbers person.


So Emily is truly the funniest person I know. I hired her because Entin.


Did you hear that before?


It's just whoever's in the room, it'll change.


We're both good to hear the word funny person. We're both in the room right now. Each other.


I'm sorry that I like to throw out accolades. I enjoy it. I hired Emily not only because she was obviously wildly qualified, but in the interview she told me that she ate peanut butter for a week to gain weight for her sister's wedding so that her sister looked thinner in the photos.


Yeah, just it was just a really altruistic thing to do. Yeah. And I was like, this bitch takes one for the team and you're hired. Thank you. She said, here we are. Thing for me. Yeah.


What did did your sister know you were doing that? No, but she really appreciated it afterwards. She did the lemonade juice cleanse like the cayenne pepper juice cleanse.


I ate jars of peanut butter all day, all day and drink Coca-Cola. We're going to get those photos queued up at some point. My arms are like it was the kindest thing I ever did. I. Actually, still haven't lost the weight. They said, how nice of Emily to have her arms replaced with hams. So we have Emily running a very tight ship. How has the experience been so far? It's been great, you know.


Yeah. I love you. I love you. Yeah, I'm glad. I'm happy to be with you again. We're going to.


It's so weird, isn't it? No, not really. Also, I've decided that this is my way of not getting canceled. I'm just hiring all the people that could cancel me that have worked for me in the past, that know where all the bodies are buried.


When you heard I was writing of shopping a book around, like, would you like to come and work on my show and sign this NDA? I still haven't signed one yet. Just ask the money.


So I'm just going to hire all the people that would possibly snitch on me. Mm hmm. And then we can start a union.


We will talk. We have another new hire on the podcast. Grace is here now. Say hi. Gross. Hi.


Happy to be here. So Benton got a promotion.


Tell us about it. I did. I am now a full time water aerobics instructor at the North End Senior Living Home.


So that's really fun. Guy Benton is no longer my nebulous kind of assistant kind of podcast host kind of dad kind of mom slash caretaker.


Yeah, not anymore. And now I am you're going to see me here and you're going to see me on the Good for you pay on Instagram page, which you guys should follow me and Emily, they're the good for you.


Instagram page is about to start popping off with serious content. They're going to run it. You'll see us on YouTube.


Lots of new you'll see us in a much more creative way. Yeah. Now that we have Grace, who is a genius, who can actually, you know, read and write. Yeah.


So that will be really helpful, I think, for everyone. And it will free up my time, will free up my time to do my water aerobics bendin.


I hired you because after the after you shot the special you were like I can because as that and I was like, yeah you can like it was just you know, I thought I mean it seemed easy.


Yeah. I mean, I was watching anybody else's insistence on I'm not doing anything. And then and they weren't and I still don't probably. Yeah.


And then I was like, wait a minute, something's wrong.


This is a lot. And there's like you have to use out of numbers and people's names.


There's so many names to remember, like Greg Old Stale.


And I'm like, where would I find it?


But I love that you wouldn't bother to find out. You just want to do it. I know I would do everything I like. He's busy right now. He literally instead of going, like, who is this person? Or like, let me call him former assistant, he just would be like, I couldn't figure out who that was.


I was like, OK, well, you if you want to talk to in that bag, you'll do it yourself.


It was just like and I mean, we were getting calls from our agents are like, hey, we need to be able to get in touch with you. Like I've been getting talking to from I don't I don't even realize how much stuff is falling through the cracks.


The my mantra is nothing is impossible. And Benton's was, if you want something done right, you got to do your job.


I was like, listen, you've worked hard your whole life. Don't stop now.


Thank you. Benton Benton refused to infantilize me. You made me stronger. She would just be like scheuber like we need to we need to set some dates for me to do some some phone calls and some zone meetings. And I'd be like, what if we start a company?


I don't if you do a reality TV show, it's like photo shoot. Let's go do a photo shoot where you're half naked and you're painting your nails blue. I just had different visions. Benton's a visionary.


You're a visionary. You're not a logistics person. Here's the secret, guys.


If you want to do one job, get another job and just prove you'd be better at the other has always been my plan. Yeah, I was like, I don't want to work at this counter, but I'll pretend I'll be friends with those people and I'll get that job up there. I'll just get a job and then try for a different one, get a job and be like, you know why I'm not good at this? Because I'm a better lawyer.


You just showed how valuable you were at other things.


You promoted yourself. And if you didn't like that, then I to tell you, yeah, you were like, I'm going to pretend I can do this job to get my foot in the door and then I'm going to Dazzler and you got to keep track of all of it.


You have to be like, hey, you missed the flight to England.


I'm like, but look at this. Merche, you did that made money. You know what? It's it's really hard to argue with.


Yeah. You'd be like, well, I missed three meetings, but this post hundred and forty three thousand likes, that's that was that's how I was going to do.


I'm like, listen, these are my fault. You have to love me. I want to Alanis Morissette only love David when I'm, you know, wrong. There's a song about that.


We also could not find someone to replace you. Yeah, we heard Grace because she answered the phone. Untrue.


Let's talk about why Grace got the job.


We talk a lot on the show, why we hire people, vent and talk about the people that you interviewed and how are you probably, let's say, like I did a hundred and fifteen people. Yeah. Give or take and be interviewed. I mean, we didn't talk to all of them. Some of them I just like went to the resumes and I talked to maybe like forty five of them. Wow. Jesus. And it was you figured out how to call them back.


Well, I actually made them call me, I said, can you call me at this time? I did. I mean, you like we don't have a name. Can you send one? Let's start now.


OK, let's see what you got here. Yeah. So, I mean, you're hired. Can you please call us back?


And then the interview process is on like. So how do you feel about emails and I mean like how do you feel about calenders. That's what I would ask. And they would be like, I mean that's what I do. My job now is like, perfect. Mm hmm.


So you want to keep doing it? Mm hmm. But it was just a lot of like the main thing we ran into is a lot of people that had, like, bigger dreams. Yeah. And they wanted them right now. Yeah. Like a lot of people were like, can I write with her? And I was like, I mean, probably not.


It was just a lot. It was it was a lot of like.


But I would say a lot of people that were like, I really want this job, but so I can do something I would like. I understand that. But we can't have more of which is what everybody wants.


I would like to interject, though, because Whitney doesn't want a career assistant like Whitney does like to hire people that can move on to something else. One hundred percent. It's just real ballsy to you at least have to do the dance.


I mean, everyone wants to be president forever. I know you have other aspirations you like. It's not news to me.




It's just rural ballsy to come in day one.


They can I write with her also at twenty five years old, you don't want to be running a show. You have no fucking idea what you're doing. But I learn when I'm someone else I want. And you do get your opportunity. You're prepared.


I wanted to make that point because it's just it's important for people to know that you're a grower. Yeah, no, I won't make the point. No, you can't.


No, I have not let you leave my basem. No. For seven years you've promoted me.


Yeah. You know, and now when I try to do anything assistant, you're like, don't do that.


Yeah. I try to hire, I hire someone in the system to be like one day you're going to run my company. One day you're going to run a show one day. I would like to work for you on it. Right. But at least come in.


Not Emily's work for me now.


I work for Emily, but you're she said, I've been waiting, but please vacate the seat.


I will say a lot of people I would say the one of the main things that I ran into that I wouldn't even pass them on to Whitney was if I was like, OK, so what's your expectation for this job?


And multiple people would be like, I would probably work like four hours and then I would have the weekends off. I work for hours during the week. I could finish everything. But then and I was like, what is a weekend?


Where is the grit? Where is the where is the moxie?


I can't decide if I respect that though, or am horrified by what they've learned it from celebrities.


We've learned from people being like, ask for what you're worth, you're worth everything.


I mean, you're not worth anything. I mean, you you're not. But you're not yet. You have I mean, how are you. But you have like all these like Oscar winning actresses being like you can do anything and make sure you ask for what you're worth and then you're just like, well, what am I worth? I just don't make it up as I go.


I don't know. It was the whole thing was like bone chilling. The whole thing was pretty bone. The entitlement is really shocked and impressed because but it also it doesn't benefit you, you know what I'm saying? It's like saying I want to be in a bodybuilding competition. Well, then you better work out for two years. No, but you can build the muscle.


It is confusing to blame the people that are doing it, though, because they're not just making that up on their own. They're learning that somewhere. Yeah, they're not just coming out of the womb like I deserve it all. Like I was telling you that. Yeah.


So were you learning it from and the only place I always go back to, they have to be learning from social media. Yeah. You have to be learning from the multitude of quotes and videos and tweets about how everyone is like special and you are but not in every job. Yeah, but it's also.


But that's not my that's not like I can't just go that's not my that's not my thing. My thing is work harder than anybody. Work longer than anybody. Be better than everybody. As a female comic we all had to work twice as hard to get half as far do not show up to a job interview and be like, I'm better than this and you should be so lucky. That's just it doesn't work.


Yeah, I don't subscribe to that at all, which is a big reason why I got the job, because it didn't say anything.


I would just be like I would just be like, hey guys, how do you like this? And she'd be like, cool.


Like I like the thing I love the most about Grace is that when I first talked to her, what do we what do I say? I said something like, oh, you have to know that I'm unhinged.


And I was like, so but I was really trying. I literally and like, I'm at a point where I feel like I just want you to know I'm unhinged. Yeah. This isn't going to change. I like I like my life is functioning the way it's functioning. And, like, you either keep up or you don't. Yeah. I could pretend like this isn't a somewhat chaotic experience. Are you in or you out right now? You said you're like, you know that I'm unhinged, right?


And I was like with a horrible hearing. I was like, wait, sorry. Did you just say you're unhinged or unhinged? And then I corrected myself and I said, oh, no, no, no, you wouldn't be unhinged because you're engaged and you're just like, oh, I'm actually not engaged anymore.


And I was like, OK, well, that was the worst thing anyone could have done. And you and you just like called yourself out, which I love, like instead of like pretending that, you know, I mean, I knew I just, you know what I mean. Like, yeah, but I need to know that you can roll with surprises and roll with. So, yeah, what if she pops up a cake one day, I said, and then I put her through a haunted house with me and my behavior has changed being around a 24 year old all the time.


OK, so being around a 24 year old is been so funny for me, because the way that you're just innocent questions me is so she'll just be like she'll have like a plastic bag.


She. So where's your container to put the plastic bags? And I'm like, we just close out the car window.


Oh, no, I guess we shouldn't litter. We need to get a recycling bin.


I'm like making them in a garage. I know. I know.


I'm like Jesus. Like, she's just coming with all this, like, shit. I'm like, I got to catch up. I'm like pretending she's like, so where's the recycling bin?


I'm outside.


So we got to be on notice. We have a twenty four year old around us. Like we got to pull it together you guys. Oh yeah. Have we done anything problematic so far. All I know is every day I asked my lawyers for you to sign a disclosure agreement and it's not happening so I'm free.


Yeah. This is risky. Me being here right now. I don't even think I signed one.


Let's talk later. The level of self-respect this one has, like we were working and she was like, well, I'm going to go make myself some lunch. And she was in the kitchen fully making herself like a meal. I was like, what is this next generation Y? It's people that take care of that.


I'm a chef. I've never, ever.


And I was like, I don't think we eat a new Trigorin in the car like this. So Grace is going to make all of us elevate.


I think Emily does that to Emily is very good about managing her own time of I was like, why? After leaving I get my laptop. I think you just going to leave.


Who gave you permission to stay until I'm like, go home. Well, something can happen and then we'll be to leaving the like come back.


Well, I mean, what if something exciting happens then. I missed it and I was doing some stupid I going to get a sandwich. Great. One time I tried to send bendin home. It was like nine o'clock at night. I was like, I didn't go home but I go and he's like, I do what don't think watch TV.


He's like, I don't watch TV. My whole life is like, OK.


Also we were in a hotel. This was like, go home. I was like, oh, you just want to hang you like me.


And I do love hanging. So we have a whole new team, whole new year. We're going to pull it together. We're going be more consistent with content, more consistent with the Open's, more consistent with stuff on the Good for you channel, more consistent with the YouTube.


We're running a business now. Fun, fun isn't exciting. They said we tune in for beers. Oh, we're also redoing the podcast studio. Sorry. Yeah, we're completely redoing this. We need suggestions on what to do behind me because as Grace pointed out, this curtain behind me does look like a high school theater production. It's not great. The wrinkles have always annoyed me, but we need to upgrade my background.


So for people listening, we just have a thick blue. Yeah, yeah.


Let's say it was like a light blue curtain. We're going to upgrade that and then we're building the whole thing out.


It's just semi fancier. We're upgrading. We're desk, new desk, new curtains. Rollerball Benton's very grumpy that he doesn't get a neon sign.


There'll be a neon sign somewhere and we're getting a neon sign for you. Yeah, we do need to be on time. I just think it's fun.


OK, we have to wrap it up. Emily's looking at me. Emily also is going to make sure that I make good on my promise to you guys that I'm not going to interrupt guests the way that I have been.


But I would also like to interrupt that to say about interrupting. We have to wrap it up. So we are going to wrap it up. But Whitney interrupts because she's excited about something and has a lot to share. So, like, let's go a little bit easy on on the. Because I'm on the. Good for you, Paige. I'm getting a lot of feedback and I really I appreciate your feedback, but you have to understand it like she's excited.


She wants to talk to this person. She has a lot to say. That's why she has a podcast.


So thank you, Emily. So let's just temper it.


And when there is a little too much think, by the way, the only person I won't interrupt is Emily. Did you just see that? Terrified. And we're working on a system where if it feels like we're taking away from the guest, we're just going to shoot a Nerf dart at her.


But you know what? Here's what it is. I get excited. And when guests like Amanda Knox, who we flew in, I'm like, I'm never going to able to have this interview again. And I get so excited.


But I do if it's frustrating for the listener experience, we are going to fix it. And we are going to do a wrap up show with Emily Benton circling back where it's called Circling Back where if I interrupted a good story, they're going to get it after the calling gets interrupted, gets interrupted.


But also, I will say to just to be clear, we filmed the Open where I went through all the the criticisms and critiques before the episode you've been seeing. So you're so all the comments that are about how she's not doing it, it hasn't started yet.


We shot this is the first one that will happen since we have done that.


I really I really I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I hear you. What do you do to dogs? Can you put your finger in there?


But that's just options. But we are there's one there's a lot going on. We have new items coming out in May. We just kind of restock on some of your guys favorite. You can go get them before they are gone. Can I just say something really quick to tag yourself in the merge?


It just makes my day. When you guys tag in the stories, please keep doing that. Yes.


My mom sends me every single one that I'm tagged in. She sends me a screenshot it if I haven't already seen it. So great. She loves it. So thank you so much.


Also the bap bap bap merge. Great to Peukan. I did it for about two weeks.


Yeah. That's why I you compucredit on it no more.


No, no. Because that tight I mean mine was covered in blood and piss and, and puke and no one could really know. So if you have a grandparent, a nursing home, lovely option.


If you have trouble keeping salsa in your mouth. These, this is the hoodie for you.


We're going to get back to doing voicemail's. Yes. So please make sure you're leaving Voicemail's eight one eight five three eight nine nine for every episode.


We will be listening to a voicemail. Every episode, yes, every episode and then community, you can still text Whitney. She's on community. Her number is eight one eight two three nine seven five to seven. You can you can listen. You have to send me your messages to Whitney.


You send them right to her kids. It all goes to you. You don't have to tell me, Grace or anyone. You can just let her know because I do check those. I have I've been sloppy about the birthday messages for about two months. I'm sorry. I am going to get back on board and Grace will make sure that I do that.


We're going to start playing lots of fun games. We're going to start doing lots of wild, crazy things over here and you're going to love it all. This is the serious part of being real serious.


Listen, this is the part where you need to make sure that you are following Whitney. You are following me. You are following that good for you podcast. You are following on YouTube and you're clicking the little bell.


So you get notifications when we upload. What does that mean? What little bell? It's a little bell that you get notifications on YouTube.


Yeah, it is shaped like a bell.


It's a notification when you start doing giveaways once a month to month, we are doing giveaways. Please make sure that you're liking the videos, you're hitting the vacation, you're sharing them. We're going to start doing a fun thing where if whenever videos come out, we're going to tweet about them. If you share the links to those videos, we will give you a shout out.


We will promote your page and we will be your friend. Yes. And, you know, maybe we'll have a pizza party thing with you guys suggestions.


Always leave them on the good for you page the DMS. Emily is going to be checking those. I love guest suggestions, so please keep sending us suggestions.


Yeah, we love suggestions. Also love being right.


Yeah, I love being young. Jojo. Well, let's do it. Jojo Seabaugh. I know what that means.


The Pride Parade. I'm a chamberlain. I know what that is.


What that is. I know what that is. I know what I think that does, but I think we've met her.


OK, let's let's end this. Love you guys any Latterman is up next. We're going to talk about my covid experience. It was harrowing and ridiculous. And we're also going to have Dr. Boris Faceman on the show to answer our covid questions, because I'm confused and I'm sick of taking my medical advice from comedians that don't have health insurance. So Boris and Antionette. I want to talk about your body hair and my body hair and what we're doing about it.


I want to be so hairless that I can just run in jelly and there's nothing left in a little follicles.


Have you ever seen a hair on my body?


Not that I want to talk about publicly from Shinedown. Have you ever seen a hair on my body? My face is a whole different. Not that I want to discuss that.


I don't think people understand how hard it is to shave your knees. Yeah, it's hard to shave in general.


I can never get slippery enough.


Well, I'm known for being slippery, so that's not my problem. I'm as slippery as it comes, but every time I shave my knees, I'm just it's scary. At the end of the movie, I was in a pool of blood.


You become telekinetic. I wish that was my experience.


All of those curves, I've bony knees, I bony ankles and I even have hair mattos now. But when I use a razor, makes my toes bleed. And then I put on Instagram and everyone thinks that I'm in some really toxic.


The first cut is the deepest with Billy. I have not had that experience. I tried Billy, they sent me one just for to be nice and I did try to shave my legs. It had to go wonderfully.


Yeah. It was just it just went right through there. It was not an issue at all. Also the very nice color.


Also I shaved my mustache and. Oh, when it's dry and this is the only thing that doesn't leave like a little rash, I'm allowed to say that legally. It truly is a great. I mean, just it just cut right through anything. And the shave Baumholder, all their products are really good, actually. The dry shampoo, the shave bombs, the face wipes, they're all really. You haven't given me the face wipes. Where are those?


I want those. I went bottom on my own, but this is the only razor I use because I can't go do the laser. I was lasering my legs. That's how aggressive my hair follicles are. I have to go laser, but I haven't been able to because of covid. So I'm using this and this is the only thing where I don't get out of the shower and it looks like a murder happened.


Go back to manual labor because I need to able to shave and do like two other things at the same time. And Billy accommodates that for me. I mean, this is very simple.


I just get so bored shaving, so boring, and you just I do it.


So isn't it exciting when you get in the shower and you see, because it's because the breaks are designed very beautifully. They are colors and mine is a beautiful baby blue. And every time I see it, I'm like, I should shave something.


I think we want to have to shave my head. Yeah, I'm like, what should I shave? But yeah, this is like, how cute sexy.


Finally somebody figured out like how to make a magnetic clip that sticks to the wall. That's my favorite part. Explain that in the shower.


Well, you don't have it here, but you stick this magnetic thing on the wall and it just right to the wall doesn't fall constantly into your shower.


You're probably not, but you're very far from your bathroom. But ever been asleep at night and you hear like and then all of a sudden you're like, well, woken and some of your shower has fallen.


That's never had any. So why are you just are you just shampoo? You found the shade during teetering your shampoo on the shelf in my bathroom habit.


Maybe I have a haunted bathroom and that's my business. But believe helped out a lot. And to express a little love from our show, go to my belly dot com slash Whitney. It's a small way you can support us while getting the best razor you will ever own. It's just nine dollars and you get your own starter kit plus free shipping.


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Whitney. Twenty twenty on my home page.


This is a fine I mean don't forget that's code with twenty twenty one for twenty five percent off your first order with Jordache subject to change terms apply first guest of twenty twenty one is the great Annie Latterman.


It's Liederman. No it is not.


No it's Letterman. I hate to say pronounced it right. How often does that happen. Do you know what I did Chelsea lately. She pronounced my name. I was Amy Lieberman once. I was later. Man, there was no I mean it was so unbelievable. I knew she would never retake it. So I just think that's I mean, I think it's so hard to get successful and people can not give your last name. I really I don't be so famous that people will just be consistent with my name.


I kept thinking that if people get my last name wrong, it's really on me. I just have I'm not famous enough. I know what I think about it, you know. Are we friends?


Are we? You tell me, you tell me, you tell me about my vote. I didn't know you had covid until you announced it on a Zoome with 17 other people.


Not proud of this. Not proud of that. So I did have covid.


I have Andy on the show to shame her, to gently tell everyone what happened.


I was diagnosed the 24th. My Christmas present was covered. And I think Santa and God and yeah. And we didn't talk for like three weeks.


Hmm. But in general, Prie covid, are we friends, I want to make sure everything is 100 percent. I love you. Any comics are so sensitive and we're so mean to each other. Why do we do this with money or the most sensitive people?


And all we do is just beat the shit out of each other? Well, it's just I think it's fun because with us it's always like.


Like to the edge. To the edge. To the edge. Across the boundary too far. You find your motivation. I feel like it's like fine. And then there's a call backwards like that actually wasn't OK. Yeah. You know, it's like I need five minutes to be like too much. Yeah. Too far. Yeah. But it's I don't know.


I think it's fun. I think it's fun to make fun of each other. Everything's a joke. And whenever I take things seriously, personally, it's like that's embarrassing because we all need to be willing to take a hit for the group. Laughter is how I feel. Yeah.


But I mean, you know, but then if someone calls me like Esther, Esther will call me sometimes I'd be like, oh, that just felt weird when you said that thing. I don't know why you're good at downloading our feelings. Yeah, we're pretty good about that. And if you don't, then you'll build resentment and fucking hate each other.


Yeah, but you have such a you're so you have such you're so emotionally intelligent, like you'll will get in the thing and you'll be like, sorry, my inner child came out. I'm like, how do you know all that.


I just work on myself a lot. I try, I just, I have a lot of anger problems or I have had in the past and I just try to work on it. I just so I just how do I work on it. How do you what kind of anger. Well, I had an outburst. I was so upset. Well, you know, I had I got a stomach also. I have construction in my apartment building.


So all surrounding all apartments is just it's just from seven thirty in the morning on. It's just insane, inconsistent pounding.


Don't underestimate how stressful it is to have construction in your building. Right. No, it's really, really weird how I mean, it's a form of torture.


Yeah, it was. It is literally how they torture people in some parts not on rhythm. Like there's no beat. I know it's erratic. All my like getting knocked off the wall. I was just a nightmare. It's and also just random fucking dude. It's your home. It's your home and it's so crazy.


So that was happening. My puppy got mange and then all those I had fell out. It was his eyes were like bleeding and Zionsville out. Twenty twenty is a nightmare. It was just like so much was going on. Yeah. And I got a stomach ulcer and I was freaking out and I got the new iPhone. I ordered the new iPhone. I was like, this is going to be my I was so embarrassing. I like this is going to be my light at the end of the tunnel like my new iPhone is going to be.


I'll become a vlogger.


It'll be great. I get the box for my iPhone.


It's an empty fucking box. Why do I get it from somewhere? Where did you order from someone?


And Amazon just undid because when I put it into the light, you could see that they had re they could just tell from where it was coming that it was an iPhone and someone just stole it out of the thing. And it was Thanksgiving eve. So everything was closed. I couldn't get a hold of anyone. So I'm just like and it was on my podcast like Todd handed it to me and I and I'm like, this is like we had to go.


Thank you. We'll see you next week, you know? And then I just was like, another thing. I was just feeling like this pity party for myself and being such a victim. And then in the morning I was talking to my friend and she's like, you know, you're probably gonna have to go. To the police station and tell them, like, I'm not going to the fucking and I just started freaking out and I threw my working phone and I was like smashing it until, like, it wasn't breaking.


And I was like, smashing it, smashing it's magic. And then I just had this phone that didn't work. And I was like, looking at it. My friend was like, call me back. Her face was like breaking up the green lines. And she was like, call me on Todd's phone.


And it was just so much. I just got so enraged and was freaking out. And then nothing good came out of right now I just burned. I talked about this like I get I get rage.


I have to come up and it's it's just for me, it's a sign that I need to be working on myself and doing stuff. So then what is working on yourself? I mean, what's your daily working on myself?


Well, there's nothing daily I've added. It's fine. It's like I am attempting daily realities. It's really I mean, I can't tell you how many books I've read, like three pages of.


Yeah, I'm like I, I once I get through the Roman numeral numerals, I'm like, there's more numbers. Like I went through the letters, are you fucking kidding me. So is hieroglyphics. Yeah. But it's, you know, so what I do try to do what does help me is breath work and meditation helps me breath work. What does that mean. Right. Work is so embarrassing. I like that.


It's such a I'm just saying I just I feel like people throw these terms around. Yeah. I'm going to get granular on what it means and how it's helped you. Granular like I'm doing my breath work. It's like what does that even fucking mean. Granular. What does that mean. Bizarre. I don't actually answer veg post covid I actually know some vocabulary ones have been. We got an Ivy League badge, my college out of business. Yours is the most popular.


Wait, can you explain that to people?


I went to the college in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and it was a small liberal arts school. It was. And it took me eight years to get my undergrad, which I never would have gotten all these incompletion.


Eight years. Yes, I stopped going and I was like incomplete because I'm good at charming my professors. So I would go in and be like I used to tell them I would come and be like you, Mr. Midterm's. I thought they were my terms. I just I want they're like, are you well, are you OK? And so I had all these. Are you OK, Annie? I am OK. And people do ask me that a lot.


And it is a Michael Jackson reference.


And we still listen to Michael Jackson on the Katrina podcast as long as it's already been downloaded. No new download. You can download our rule. Our Kelly, Michael Jackson. If you've already download it, you get to listen to it. No new downloads, no new money to the estate. That's the rule.


Like there's any person in the world that's just being introduced to Michael J. If you already like. I saw this really crazy documentary about this guy, I think is the same. The music is pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. The their buttholes and backing them up is like and then it made me want to Google him and then the guy has some bob. Yeah.


Like he's really good. I like his dance moves.


They're so cool but. Yeah. Does that feel right. Does that feel right in terms of canceled people listening to their work. If you've already downloaded it it's fine.


Yeah. I think that covers the basics. I don't know, it's like the canceling thing is so weird because I do believe in redemption too and but some of the stuff is so bad I have a hot take on cancel culture.


Let's hear comedians are creating all this. Yeah, it's not real. It's us. Yeah. And we talk about it are so mentally ill. We are such chronic victims that we are, we are so desperate to have people hate us to have our insides outside. We like inventing this giant cancel culture narrative.


Not I'm not talking about it a lot, not rape. I'm not talking about minors.


Every comedian opens with no one. Lets me say it's like you were never talking about you. You did jokes about airplane food for the last 35 years. Say it in your house. Yeah, it's all the comedians will complain about literally anything coming from the people that like complaining about Hot Pockets.


Like, could I get to that too? It's a it's a victim mentality. And you also can choose to not be canceled. I mean, it's what you lose your sponsors you like lose some followers, but you what do you just stop or do you? I don't know. It's like you're not going to prison. You're not. What are you. It's like a choice.


Comedians were dramatic by nature, were dramatic for a living. Like I feel like we're the ones that are perpetuating this. We definitely take. I take.


I like that take. Is it real?


I mean, I think you. Are you trying to get cancelled?


I feel like I've been canceled for so long. I feel like I'm on borrowed time anyway. But do you think you have enough money to get canceled?


If I have such a scarcity complex, like I grew up without money and I still like I got the sweater off Etsy, I still don't spend money on expensive shit. Yeah, I'll spend money on experiences. How much was it, though, on Etsy? Because that's who has a range. It could be expensive this. Oh yeah.


Vintage t shirts actually are wildly exorbitant. This was probably like twelve dollars and I paid too much about it.


I'm wearing a sweater with how would you describe the sweater anyway. It's like for a young child it's a little bit like there's rain, it's like Christmassy and.


There's cute little elephants. Yeah, I don't know, it's very. You can tell the age you were possibly molested.


I feel like a..


That's where we really bonded over being molested. I just can't shut up about it. When, you know, when someone else can joke about being molested, it's just the best. Can't stop talking about when someone has the same level of sexual abuse as you. It's just the best I love.


I'll get comments sometimes that are like she talk so much about being. And I'm like they're like, I wish you would stop. I'm like, yeah, I wish I would stop telling myself the story, too. I really would like to be move on from this, but that's actually something. And I'm not one you being molested. I know I'm over. Me too. But I during the pandemic I've done a lot of like meditation and stuff and gotten kind of over my shit and then they'll pop back up a PTSD, which is.


What do you mean? But I just I just I've done a lot of work on I did a breath work and the work that I do is through this shaman. I have a shaman.


I'm Shamis Batmitzvah, you know, does Dragonfly's Drogon twice now.


She says, no, I did it, I did it before Rogen and you know, I didn't dare bring it up on her again. I don't bring up ayahuasca, but I did some breath work that where it was a meditation where they were like your go to some woods. And so I'm in the woods. Hold on.


You're telling me, OK, for the listeners, if you want to do Rothrock, you do not have to go to the woods.


No, you don't know. I'm not in the woods in the meditation. OK, so it's a meditation I did where it was like go to the woods and visually, visually pick some woods, OK?


And I would always pick and I just wanted to suicide for us and Japan.


Logan Paul, this is a Rorschach test. I felt OK. So Woods like what kind of woods. So you can pick any woods. But I would always pick the woods outside my high school where I had traumatizing experience. Why would you go to those woods? I don't know, because I was still living in it. So then I go to the woods and this is so good.


Ever happened in any woods? Oh, I'm camping in my brain. My campaign has been cool. You know, sometimes you have noisy neighbor boy. Good boy. Good boy. Yeah. Camping spelunking does happen in the woods. I don't know. Are there caves and woods. But so I'm in the meditation. I'm at the in the woods at my high school, just not even thinking about it, just like automatically going there and then an animal comes to you and speaks to you kind of animal.


I had a wolf my spirit animals just a wolf came up to me and the wolves started talking. This is not on. I was sober and the wolf was like, let's get out of these woods. Let's not come back to these woods anymore. And I was like, oh, shit. I realize how much I was revisiting all my shit. And I kept bringing it up and it's like, oh, I can just kind of like move on, which I try to do.


But sometimes I have relapses and stuff.


But it's tricky because we really and this is really like twenty, twenty one New Year New us. She said that earlier.


I was like it's new year and I'm like, what. Oh right. Sorry, our new year new you. I'm like, she's so codependent. Having was such a codependent relapse.


The New Year new us. Yeah. I mean I really like and we'll talk about me having covered in a second, but it's like it really is just like divorcing yourself from like how attached are we to our narrative of like our victim hood.


Yeah. You know, like it's a tricky one.


Well it's just sucks to keep going there. It's just like why do I have to drag this fucking like just it's like taking stuff out of your backpack.


But at the same time, it's like we don't want to minimize what happened to us, but we also don't want to exaggerate and really traumatize ourselves over time.


Do I have to relive this all the time? And I realize every podcast I go on now, they go like, hey, so the theme as you show up, you've never met the person go. The theme is the worst thing that's ever happened.


You go on. I'm like, Why? I don't want to. Yeah, yeah. People need to keep hearing.


Oh my God. It's so fucking true. Do people need to keep hearing this. And I get the why do comedians have to bomb for two hours on their podcast when the podcast become just everybody talk about their trauma for two hours. It's like why are we allowed to be funny anymore? I don't. And we allowed we're only allowed to talk about politics and drama. You know, it's just so dark.


And but I mean, I have punch lines in my stories, but I just it's like I'm over. I don't like who is this? What is this for? And even looking like it's an important story to tell it to who I know.


I think that's been my major thing. Like like, like getting close with you has been so healing for me because I felt like this whole like me to moment. Everyone's like, well you have to tell your story.


It's like I'll do whatever the fuck I want whenever to me that's like the worst example to sad that you're telling trauma survivors that they have to behave a certain way.


I'm going to think independently. I want to talk more about our friendship. OK, OK, so when did we become friends? So then we became friends. Did you know like me before we met because I was scared of you. But I'm obsessed with the way women perceive each other before they met, before they knew each other and the way we project onto each other. And then when they become. Friends like I used to think you were such a bitch, like I thought you were a scary bitch that didn't like me cut to pandemic happens.


And I think that I did like you before the pandemic. No, no, no. We had already bonded. I also just love you because you're just like a real comic.


You know, it's like, you know, a lot of I don't know. It's interesting because it's like, you know, I go on the road and there's just such a dissonance between what I like Twitter versus saying people want to hear versus what comics no people want to hear.


And I feel like there's this like mass infantilization of comedy fans right now. We're like, people can't handle this. Yeah, they can. Comics. If you don't think something's funny, it's funny or it's not. Yeah, right. Straight out. Yeah.


I also very quickly realize that you are incredible with relationship advice. You you're so clear. You are so cogent. Like you're so good at that.


Oh thanks. So I've, I mean I just have gone through so many fucking terrible relationships but all of them have given me really good lessons. I mean my probably my worst breakup was my best. Like, if I look back on all the lessons I learned, I had a boyfriend who really taught me like who my worth.


It was so crazy. And I guess he just was like he just laid it out for me. It was like, oh, when this person's being that way, it's because you're coming in with, like, goddess vibes. What was embarrassing this was like a couple of years ago, I don't want to outwit it is because we don't talk about the past and. No, but it was just I had really low self-esteem and and maybe that came off.


Everyone always like thinks I'm very confident when I guess I have a type of confidence, but it just so I would have so I would get so hurt by people. And I think they just assumed I could. I didn't have those feelings. Can we talk about that? Yeah, there's a difference between loud and confident. Yeah, I think people think because I'm loud that I'm super strong and super confident and I'm like, invincible. Like, no, I just have a low register of my voice.


I can't control that.


Nobody thinks they're invincible now. But with all your bites of you, looks like somebody is a voodoo doll against you and is just stabbing it every day like you piss someone off.


You are fucked up, dude. It's wild. But I always know you'll be OK, though. I mean, every time a new picture would come up, I'm like, oh, she'll end up looking hotter. She'll figure something out.


I think she'll find the doctor to fix it and she'll come back.


But don't you think, like, I feel like we're so similar in this way and that we're both people that come off very tough, but we're both very sensitive people and it's hard for people to love. Yeah. And I but I want to be tough.


I mean, I would like to be tough, but it's it was funny. I went camping over the summer and I really because of my brothers, I try so hard to be like I'm not scared of fucking spite, like put, you know, and I would always overcompensate and be like putting like a spider on my face, like, look, it's fine. I don't give a shit, but inside I'm panicking and I trying to be funny and trying to entertain.


Yeah. Just trying to be like, whatever. I don't care. I'm not scared of things. And then I had to cut a worm and there's a video. I got to post it to cut a worm. I just had to cut a worm and have to go fishing. And I started screaming like the girl is screaming. I'm like, there's me. Like, that was like, you know, because I just think there's a lot of just having brothers.


I just had to be and my mother have to like, develop this exoskeleton to be.


I mean, most of it's my mother issues honestly. It's either my mom or dad. Every time I thought one thing, it's your mother, like mom or dad, one of mom or dad, much fun. But I think a lot of that is for my mom because my mom was very rejecting of femininity. So I had to be very so. She just was always encouraging, like she just wanted sports and stuff like that, and she would always talk about when she was a kid, you had a job, wanted sports.


She just I don't know. What does that mean? She just would just let you say that sentence. Yes, I'm the one that I covid. I know, but I'm the one who's called about it. I don't know I don't know that much about sports, but I'm pretty sure that's not how you say it.


OK, so my mom was she my mom was adopted, which I think a lot of all of my inherited issues come from a lot of that sort of mother wound that you have when you're a fucking mom doesn't raise you. That is pretty wild. Yeah, I think it was really tough for me.


So your grandmother was my my my mom never met her birth parents, and then her mother was died when my mom was 15 at boarding school, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and given six months to live. My mom wasn't allowed to come home and then she ended up living 15 years and then died while my mom was pregnant with me and my twin brother. So she had. Like 15 years of feeling her mom is going to die whenever and then she did die when my mom really, really needed her.


So I just think I just think the act of being adopted was something that really hurt her. And then all these other things, I really very much understand my mom, but she was always would be, you know, tell stories about when she was a kid. She's like, I want to go play, put my hair up in a hat and try to play baseball with the boys. And they'd be like, Scram, girl. And I'm like, I think that was just like a league of their own.


And I'm what really happened. Mom? What was Rosie O'Donnell playing you? And reminds me, can we watch riding the bus with my sister?


Don't remember that movie. Are we allowed to watch things that we're saying, are we allowed to watch? No.


Remember when Rosie O'Donnell, someone with Down syndrome and riding the bus with my sister and I just like to make sure we're all still bringing up things that, you know, that Rosie's. I'm just I just like to I just like to never forget.


She's like an elephant. So but anyway, I just saw my mom was always talking about sports and she want to play baseball stuff. And then I joined the baseball team and she traded me off the team with Men Boy's baseball team to impress my mom. And then she treated me to like I was just so I mean, I can't tell you just I've been pretty much chasing my mom for a million years and she's still there and loves me and stuff.


But I realized that I just I just it gets me every once in a while I'll just get like, why am I talking about this?


No, but I think it's important because something because my relationship with women is weird, but I was going, oh, with masculinity and stuff. So my mom would she just was rejecting if I had dolls she'd be like, I never liked dolls. I don't know what you're seeing them. So I would have to make them like fuck and shoot each other.


I mean, like, no, they're doing boy things, you know. So I was like kind of always had I was like anything girly was bad. So I was raised with this sort of be boy.


Yeah. I kind of had that too. And it more came from my dad because I think he in you know, it was just awkward. I mean, that generation just didn't have a lot of tools like my you know, my dad was just like like how to son and then had two daughters.


And it just was like, weird, you know, and he kind of just like, threw a basketball at me, you know, that's the only way we could bond was like through sports. So I kind of became a tomboy, just like Detroit.


I like you in the head like over and over and over again. Wait a sec.


It Epiphanny I was abused, but no, but just something that I love about you and something that you really helped me with in terms of just like my emotional growth is like you seem like you really understand that your your primary caretakers were wounded also. And you seem to have, like, radical forgiveness for your parents. Like, that's my new shit is like radical forgiveness for our parents.


Yeah. I mean, well, also, my parents are old and I don't want like my baby mom. Who's the younger one. My dad's seventy nine. My mom just turned 17 and that was like a huge wake up your mom seven months from around there.




So I'm just you know, I just think about it's like they're going to be I don't want to be mad at them. And a lot of shit happened. There was a lot of shit in my life that was where they really let me down.


And it's just but I just have to like I made me funny, which I like at the point where I'm just like it made me funny, maybe funny and maybe funny. It made me funny and it made me strong. And I just have to be fine with it. And it's but, you know, stuff comes up and I just have to manage it.


Why are we both dating younger men? Because of the bad.


They do everything for you or you learn because these are so tight and times of year they do everything they do.


And I think I have a theory as someone you're dating, your guy I'm dating. I think all this shit worked like all the tweets, all the Metsu, all the I don't know what it is, but the younger guys are respectful. They like women.


It's so funny because we have so many friends, guy friends who are freaking out during this time. Why are you freaking out? There's a type of guy that fucking feels guilty. So they're nervous. It's coming for them. And then but like my I'm only dating guys.


I date the age I pick now is just someone that couldn't have raped someone in the nineties because they weren't born.


Yeah, no, it's, it's, it's nice but it's you know, it's just and my boyfriend's like that like he would never there's no. Yeah. Have like gentle and sweet. He is just.


But what is that. Why are younger guys sweeter. Because they could probably aren't, probably because I thought it was going be younger guys. They grew up on porn. They're going to beat the shit out of you. It was like completely the opposite experience. I was like, oh, God, I'm going to have to like, put a ball gag in my like, here we go. Like a 31 year old guy. This is going to be a nightmare.


Like you show me some of the nudes you send and I'm like, why did you go bondage first? Where have you been? What's going on? No, but it's like it's not like I don't even know.


You own duct tape.


I, I anticipated that younger guys like my I postulated and I mean, I talk about my specials years ago. I was like, the guys are going to get worse and worse. They're going to hate women more and more because they're watching porn. And then I'm like hooking up with this 31 year old. He's so respectful and it's like kind of annoying. I just I'm like, I don't know, bitch. Can you? Well, it's like does it have the same excitement as one of these really scary.


Like, I've dated guys that are fucking scary. Yeah. I was dating gang members when I was fourteen. I was like sneaking out of my house and going to the Roosevelt Mall and getting guys pager numbers and like yeah, calling fucking movie phone. So the phone wouldn't be I would page them and I'd be on movie phone. So then the call waiting would come in and wouldn't wake my parents up and then I would have logit gang members pick me up and take me wherever I remember.


We climbed in through the window. We went to this. Swimming in this pool in Philly and we climbed in the window was like, why are we going to the window? They're like, Oh, none of us live here. We're just breaking and entering. I'm 14. And I told them I was 16. They were like, I don't know how old. And then at one point they came to get me and they all got arrested. And the guy I had been hooking up with was wanted for fucking homicide.


I don't have them twice, but it's like I was in danger. I deal with dangerous guys and I so what I did, that young, that became my time. So then I was dating these guys where I felt unsafe. And it's like I don't I value comfort and safety and security, man. It's so nice. It's not as exciting as not going to die. Explain that.


I mean, that's what my therapist said to me once. She was like, if you're bored, that's probably just serenity.


You know, that's probably just secure attachment style. Yeah. Like a guy that you're just like I mean, that's the thing is, all we do is complain that there are no nice guys.


Then we get one and we're like, oh so. Yeah, bored. Yeah. Well there's no risk. I mean, I was bored when I went skydiving. I thought it was boring. I was like, this is it. I was I always wanna say like next time I go skydiving I want to make sure they have one star on Yelp. And then when we go up there like there's two parachutes, one works, choose words like adrenaline junkie.


Yeah, totally. And it's unhealthy. When I got so mad about my cell phone like a fucking psycho over a phone and then smashed my only other phone, I have no contacts, but no, I don't know any people texting like I have no clue who you are. But when I got, like, it takes too much out of me, I don't want to do that anymore. I don't like that. That that release of anger, it just it's when I get hot, like to the red zone, it's just not I don't like it.


I don't want to. Yeah. So now it's just about managing that and not getting triggered. It's like the world around me is not going to change. I have to adapt. Right. I have to handle my shit. I have no control over anyone else. Can I bring up an uncomfortable topic.


I'm trying to work on a bit about this because I mean obviously I've said that it's uncomfortable. Why? I feel like it's a really unfunny bit. That's why it's uncomfortable. Yeah. Excuse me. I bomb for the next twenty minutes. No, but I'm working on a bit about this. I feel like I've been very clear about my values in terms of like predatory behavior and. That said, when I was 16, I dated a thirty five year old, that was just how it was back then.


What do we make of that? I don't think it was my professors. I dated older guys. Like, what do we do with that?


I don't think it was the way it was back then. I think there just wasn't social media to out of that. The not everyone has those experiences, I think when you have crazy fucked up experiences the past couple of years is when I realized, oh, everyone didn't have these. Yeah. Like, people had parents that were like, you know, like I'm always like, if you ate dinner with your parents every night, I have nothing to say to you.


I don't know. People like me used to scream at the dinner table. At my dinner table.


Yeah, we hung on because together, I mean, we did something like Miko's, we got pizza.


But, yeah, it's you know, I don't know, I, I think that people are able to talk more. I you know, it's not maybe all these bad behaviors were happening. I definitely, you know, went to a high school where I could find out every teacher was molesting every kid. I'm like, oh, it wasn't just me.


Oh, yeah. All the teachers were fucking at school.


The only thing more dramatic than being molested by a teacher is finding out that they molested other students.


So there's a couple that didn't even know. Well, no, there's a couple of students that didn't even know they were molesting them like that.


You are so ugly. They were fucking all of us. All of us like two people. They're like, wait, why are we never heard about this?


It it's also a little it is I don't know. It's a little uncomfortable, like I was trying to do a bit. Why wasn't this working about the Catholic Church? It's just too like no one really talks about it.


Like we don't I mean, there is spotlight. Yeah. There was a movie. OK, yeah. Everyone's talking about it.


I was there. That's your joke. Magic. Nobody's talking about this. I was just. Yeah, OK. So the premise didn't work. I just I just feel everyone's talking. I just feel like. Yeah. Well then molested. Nobody gives a shit. Is that a hot dog. I guess.


An older man. A little broken boys. No, I like good boys now. Healthy boys.


No, but I'm really into this dating younger. They grew up with Beyonce. They saw Oprah like they respect women. It's just different. They're different.


How did you and your guy I mean, he was an editor. I met him through. Do you want kids? Maybe. Hmm.


I think about I've had to detach myself from the outcome because you won't freeze my eggs.


But I am happy to freeze your eggs for you anyway. Let's do it. I will I will do this. But I'm I'm trying to set it up as a TV show. I love her. Honestly, it's brilliant.


It's brilliant. But I just like how your mind works. It's because I can look at you and go, OK, we're similar in age. I'm sixty six.


I'm sixty five. Well, you know, you're you're older than me. And you went to Pat. I grew up and my dad worked at I mean it's like we have like similar areas, right. Yeah I am paycheck to paycheck panicking. How do I like what's the difference. The difference is your brain goes to work and mine goes like, how can I not work? Like what can I do to get the fuck out of work? And yours is like, how do I turn everything into a business?


I want to make everything into a business. I like that. Which is why my immune system is always Drash.


No, I mean, you did go fucking hard. You've been going hard. Yeah, nonstop.


What. But would you ever adopt. After my mom. Oh, interesting. Is that why I would I have no clue what she'd done to 23 me or anything? Have you done that?


My brother did, and we were all excited. We thought we were going to find like my mom's family and we just found this guy, this like uncle of my dad's he just stopped talking to. And then I just get emails like chain emails now for my Herman Liederman, like Jesus Christ.


He's like, oh, my God. But yeah, no, my mom doesn't really I don't know if she wants to find her birth parents or not or I mean, they're trying to love any more. But I think she's like her parents were great and she doesn't she never wanted to offend them or. Hmm. Just stuff like that. But. It is weird, when I did ayahuasca, I thought about that it was like thinking about the lineage and how many times have you done ayahuasca?


I've done like for two weekends and four times.


And did you go in, like, explain for people that are like on the fence about doing it? Like what was your experience like? Why did you do it and how was it medicinal for you?


I felt really, you know, I just I've been dealing with my demons and I was just really itching to do what I had done DMT a couple of times, mostly empty. And really it was unbelievable. So beautiful and incredible. And I knew that ayahuasca was a similar it's like DMT, but then the ayahuasca route extends it. So it goes for four hours.


Really, Deepak, the first I did ayahuasca one time I well, it's so funny because I remember talking to you the first time I was bulimia that I. That was a vendor. Prabhjot Yeah. You know, but we talked to the Comedy Store once and you're like, yeah, I did ayahuasca. I didn't get anything out of it. I was like, you didn't write such an amazing experience. And I explained my experience. I was like, I was thinking about my dad.


I just have such an anxious, attached love style. And I just. You know, I was at the time dating this guy, and he he was I was just feeling like I couldn't tell if he liked and I was just feeling so, like, obsessed with it. And I couldn't get out of my head. And I was feeling so unloved and let down and all the stuff. And I want to do ayahuasca. And I just was in the main room, had done a show, got offstage.


I saw these two people that were like really cool. There were something like sweet about them and the guy hi5 me. And then later I found out that they were there visiting the general manager, and he was. He was an ayahuasca shaman who was in town doing a weekend, and he had come to the Comedy Store a couple of times and I was his favorite comedian. And these guys, it was real. I was I first I was like, he's trying to fuck me.


He's like, he's a guy.


I was like, oh, my God, a jury out.


Irlam But he had, like, seen me. And I had just felt like we had just gravitated to each other and I had already put out like that. I want I was like, I really want ayahuasca, but you can't find it something you can find. And so then they're like, we had to drop out this weekend. Why don't you just cancel? Like, how does how do people find ayahuasca in the real world?


I just I think you have to set an intention and hope it comes to the first.


I didn't get anything out of it. It was right after my dad had died. The first night I felt nothing. I'm really weird on drugs. Some drugs do absolutely nothing for me. And some of them, just like I'm off the grid notables. I think we can all agree or not. They're not.


My drug weed for me is so edibles are not my drug. They're not my drug. The first time I did edibles was when my year got bitten off by a dog. I went to Mexico with a guy that I met on Rya and my friend calls it Rich Asshole, Young Asshole RIAB.


This is the dating app for like what is it for? Like photographers who wear V necks and have man buttons? Like, I don't even know what this app is any anymore, but I didn't want to take painkillers because I'm so afraid of the addiction in my family and painkillers. I said I'm going to take edibles and my brain. I was like, this is like the healthy painkiller New Year's Eve. Bridget Everett's there. I'm there with Michael Patrick King, the guy I met on Rya.


Who else was there? I mean, there are witnesses to this. I'm not exaggerating. I took the entire I don't know what twenty five MSG's means. I'm not a doctor. Like, I don't know, like I don't know what I need. I take the whole thing.


I fainted at the buffet holding a handful of salad and a marrow bone that's so annoying that she just had salad and got your skinny bitch.


Even even when she's got the munchies she just fucking like overeating salad and then that.


What was the other time I did it? Like, I just when I take an edible, my brain says that edible didn't work. You need to take ten more.


I get way too generous on weed. I get very generous. I start writing checks, I start I started a couple of businesses. I just we, I tried weed over the pandemic. Not for me. Soboroff weed right now it's so bad.


And by the way, I am always looking for a reason to relapse on any drug ever. So the minute you were like I took edibles, I looked at that and I was like, let's smoke weed tonight. And then I had to fucking stop. It makes me insane. Like I think my anger gets so I just get so paranoid. Makes me paranoid. Yeah. Doubting yourself.


It's just not for me, it's just not for me. And I'm sure like for everyone out there, I'm sure there's like a strain that's good for me.


All right. Oh, I hate when you say I don't think and people you just need a strong strain. You need the purple Rice Krispie.


I'm like the fuck out of here. I'm thirty eight years old. They're like, you just need the Purple Rain Lollipop. I don't need any of this shit. I need an Advil.


I need somebody I need some vitamin C.


She needs a hug. I know she's a hugger to talk to my therapist. You go it out on me.


Let's be honest. We now take a break in Annie Letterman yelling at me on the podcast to talk about beds. Linen linens, Brooklyn, and to be exact, someone who has been one of the grandpas in the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory for the past three weeks, someone who's been in bed for a month straight. I don't know what I would have done without Brooklyn in Brooklyn and truly is one of those couples.


I mean, I almost didn't show up today. It was so comfortable. I was like, I'd rather just stay here.


Honestly, you can wake up in a cold sweat in Brooklyn. And she's still comfortable because I've been doing that for the last two weeks. I speak from experience even when they're cold and wet, still cozy as hell.


I mean, they are a luxury sheet and they're not they don't cost like a trillion dollars, like, they're very affordable, which is why I feel that I can, you know, not go to my job and sleep in because I worry about the sheets.


Sheets are a racket, Brooklyn and is not. Yeah, and not only that, but they have like they have pillows, they have towels, they have loungewear.


What you wear where the sheets instead of instead of being like me or you wrap yourself up in a toga, you can be like by their lounge, you can be like Emily and you can turn the white sheets into a wedding dress and you can sort of walk around your house and pretend that show up on your ex-boyfriend sport.


You can reenact bride wars the way I do. And and Kate, I do both.


You can turn the pillowcases into a fake veil and have fake weddings in your bedroom. I have a pair of white sheets and off I can fly right through them.


They dry instantly. They are tear proof.


It's a very sad slumber, but not with Brooklyn in twenty twenty one. Do something nice for yourself to start the New Year to help do that, Brooklyn and has a special offer. Go to Brooklyn and Dotcom and use promo code. That's B-R, OK, and and dotcom. And your promo code would need to get twenty five dollars off when you spend one hundred dollars or more plus free shipping Brooklyn and dotcom and use promo code. Whitney at checkout.


Ready. Oh, nailed it.


What's that, the sound of Banten, my ribs cracking because I didn't drink enough of pop a healthy alternative soda.


First of all, it's a sparkling tonic. How dare you? First of all, it tastes just like soda. It's which is the point. But it's healthy for my digestive system, which I don't know if you now go through a lot. Well, no. As someone that's been on antibiotics, you ever access to my digestive system? I'm not sad.


It's it's gurgled that me a couple of times angrily nostalgic flavors with wonder if I ever go back to the fact that this has prebiotics.


Yeah, it's like grazing. Yeah. But as someone that has been on antibiotics for the past six months, I would like to say that this has been a godsend for just to clarify, these drinks are not antibiotics.


No, I hear they are not an alternative to DR.


No, I've been on antibiotics and you're supposed to take probiotics and probiotics when you're on antibiotics, little wars, and you're starting to restore the peace in your gut just to get back to balance so that you don't get a yeast infection.


And something horrible of the idea of probiotics, antibiotics, if you like. We'll see who wins and try that and we'll figure it out. I'm like I'm like a Russian emperor at the gladiator show. I'm like, let's see what you got. One of you were so Esther, our friend is who initially turned us on to this all pop.


It is. So you know what? I just love the packaging.


It is so twee and quaint and charming and comforting with the nostalgia.


Doesn't it look like you're ready to get a phosphate in the 40s?


The cherry vanilla is my very favorite. It makes me feel like I'm in a Lana Del Rey song. The Strawberry Vanilla is my favorite because it makes me feel like I'm going to be a song. Oh yeah. Don't get me started on the Beatles, you know, that's triggering.


Well, this also, you know, these drinks have very little sugar in them, only two to five grams of sugar.


I'm just annoyed that I haven't had this my whole life, like the fact that I've been drinking trash soda my entire life. And then now at thirty eight years old, they got one that's like healthy and good. And I was nine.


They're also non GMO vegan, paleo keto friendly. They have only eight net carbs. That's a lot of I'm not really sure what to drink, to be honest with you.


That could be water. Just delicious. Delicious. It's truly, really delicious. And we've worked out an exclusive deal for Good for You podcast listeners received twenty percent off, plus free shipping on the best selling variety pack. This is a great way to try all the delicious flavors. Go to drink all EPOP Dotcom Slash Whitney and use code Welney and check out to claim this deal. That's D-R I inco IPO p dot com slash Whitney. This just kind of only valid for their variety pack.


All your pop can also be found in over three thousand stores across the country, including Whole Foods, Sprout's, Kroger, that one I can never say in Erawan, Wegmann, Wegmans.


I had covid let's talk about my what did you what did you think was happening? So I had heard a rumor like a couple of weeks because when you weren't, you're very active. Whitney has about 5000 different chat threads and her phone. And when you're not hitting any of them, I give it one day where I go, did she just make a new one without me? And I'm like, no. And then so I figured something was going on.


I mean, it was also new. It was Christmas Eve I'm trying to think of.


But it was Christmas Eve. I was like, tomorrow's Christmas. I don't want to ruin people's Christmas. I don't want to make it about me. It was just such a joy. And because we had done those distant standup shows, we had done those distance influencer parties within that distance, training for the craft. We did the distance.


I can't believe you call them influence or party. What were they? Were they transparent? Well, we're a bunch of fun people hanging out and some of them have 25 million followers. Yeah.


Might you just hang out with my friends and like. Well, I mean, I guess I'm I internalized people's criticism of me, I guess. Yeah. But, you know, I was like, oh, if I say it now, everyone's book will. Of course you got it. But I, I got to be honest, I stand by those like we were safe. No one got killed. But from those I know people. Yeah. Because when he was like in Target pulling her mask down like I didn't get it from that, I'm like I feel like I'm the first person to say like, yeah, guys, I'm Acheron.


I pulled my mask down the target and I got it. Don't do it.


You definitely weren't even meaning to do it. It's so funny. You just were like talking so much that you didn't realize you had to pull your eye.


My biggest fear in life is not being heard and wearing a mask. It's like my living nightmare. No, I know it's how.


And do you know that I didn't feel any of the earthquakes last year because I was talking through all of them, like dead serious people. I'm like, I missed another one. I thought I was like killing. People are bracing themselves for the the cool ending to my story. I just talked to every single one of them.


And I also wanted to like and also, by the way, I was in so much pain, I did have a very bad experience with like I had from the experiences I've heard, one of the worst. I also concurrently had a Hugi, which is just so dumb. Yeah, you were just so stupid. And because it causes inflammation, it exacerbated that. So I just had a very extreme case and I thought I was like going crazy and I just didn't want to, like, blast out stuff before I knew what was going on.


Yeah, like a medical professional took my phone for me because I couldn't stop texting doctors for pain, so I physically couldn't.


I want now you texted me for painkillers. You mustered up the courage. I don't know people really taking my devices from me like that because I was just like the first week. I figured it was just Christmas and stuff. And I listen, I like to give you space. We've been we haven't been close for that long. But I also like. You're busy. I don't want to. That's fine. I got stuff to do. So I was giving you space.


But then I was like, I think just I can go and just wanted to know, which also makes sense because you don't want it to come out before you are ready to talk about it.


Yeah. You know, but I think that people are going to come after you no matter what. Yeah. We're just going to come after.


I'm not really worried about the people coming after me.


I just want to make sure it's like your. Yeah, I just I just really want to make sure I was able to delineate what was covered, what was, you know, just from the malnutrition and the dehydration.


What was from like the which by the way, can we talk about the for a second when you talk to I just feel like there's still whenever you try a random woman knows more than a male doctor, like I asked three male doctors, and they're like, drink cranberry juice and then I'm out.


I know you cannot diagnosed me with juice.


I know I can't. I'm like one of my four. Yeah. Like, when you go to a male doctor, they're like, just drink some cream, grand juice and some group crackers. I'm like, can I get an antibiotic please? The one I use is called Arabel.


Have you heard of this now? My friend Alex Arabel. My girlfriends were telling me what antibiotic to ask my doctor for your EBELE is a miracle for UTIs and it's a prescribed drug and.




And then and then I go to the doctor, they're like and then there's something called AZO ASIO. And they're like, yeah, you take this. It makes your pee orange and your tears orange.


I didn't hear that. And I was sobbing, crying one day and I was just like had orange on my shirt.


I liked fully thought I was like, did I get like a self tan.


Like I didn't know it was my young lover eating Cheetos. It's why a lot of product go back to one. Your tears are orange from taking. It's not a product that's ready for Marzak because it clashes with your hair. It's not right. It's not ready for market like all these Usui medications aren't ready like that if I've learned anything. But I was like on I was just like texting women and they were giving me better medical care than most doctors.


When are you like and he doesn't have health insurance. I'm not going to Texas. Did I not ask you for your help? You know, you asked me for drugs. I like that. That's where you're going with me. You're like, she'll know how to get me. I texted you and I was like. Can you get me some painkillers? Well, I checked on you, I said, how was McQueen? I knew you had covered, but I didn't want to say no.


And then you announced it on the Percocet.


Oh, God. So there was a zoom. The the beloved just Scott rest in peace. The beloved piano player for the Comedy Store passed away while I had covid. And I was it was the day that I had gone to the doctor and gotten anesthesia via an IV so I couldn't pick it up. So I was like, truly, I was so fucked up. I have not been up. I was so fucked up. I was wearing a silk robe with a floral silk robe.


I don't even know where I got it, like it was a zoo memorial.


So it was like at the Comedy Store. So it was like staff, it was open micas. It was like a people were on this call. One hundred. Oh, my God. I got on a call fully on I was on like fentanyl. I was so fucked up I got home. I was like smoking vapes, like someone that I love very deeply had passed away. And I got on the Zoome and I just fully embarrassed myself.


But that's why I volunteered to go. What's that?


She's like, I've covered whatever, so I analogizing. OK, so you're sort of getting out of it.


Oh God damn. It was funny though. We're comedians. We all got it. God damn it, you may have an intervention coming.


I do feel like you're thriving in this pandemic. You're starting podcast. You're building your business. You've got your mask business.


Like I feel like you're one of the few comedians that has really like, you know, made this work over Kris Jenner now.


But now I you know, I've been really it's been I just didn't realize how much panic I was having during the regular world. And I was just panicking all day, panicking and stress and panic. And then when standup was taken away and normal life was taken away, I was like, what should I do? And it took me a while. But now I had already started my podcast. But now I also have my podcast inspiration on YouTube and iTunes that I actually I was going to tell you I used it on my last episode.


I was, I say, too many filler words.


So I was going to use a shock collar and Todd was going to shock me every time I said like, but have you ever done a show?


We were about to do that. Every time I interrupt a guest, you were going to shock. Yes. It's so painful witnessing what I beat you to it, but it's so painful. Anyway, I can come.


It's it's no one can ever use it on a dog you cannot use. Yes, you can. That's how you feel. You can but you can turn it up and that's ok.


I try to one store. Did you buy at the pleasure. Just listen. I got it. I got shot.


Caller from Amazon. Well OK. It was, it's so painful. I mean Todd was like fucking with it and then set it off before I knew it was going to end. So I'm just like in the middle, like crying. I'm like, this is so bad I'm going to do it again. No, I'm I'm sticking with this. So my inspiration and what it means when that pod like what is it? Because everyone's trying podcast now you have to you have one successful podcast and another one.


Like what advice would you give to people that are like starting a podcast right now?


I mean, what's working, what's not working? I'm still trying to figure it out. I don't know. I'm like, should I have segments? It's like kind of right now it's like a slice of life, kind of like what happened this week, which is hard because you're not going anywhere. But yeah. And just like things I saw, you know, and there's ideas and I just watch them and I come up with ideas for the next one.


And I would just say, if you have a podcast, just watch it and edit it. Just watch it and go through it from the fat to trim the fat. And might not you're not as interesting as you think, but also just watch your own show. Yeah. Don't don't try to give it to someone. Hard to do. It's hard to do, but it's easy and it's because if you don't like it and then you're putting it out there and like, how are they supposed to like it?


That's how it was with stand up with my ex-boyfriend saying that to me. I was like, I can't listen to my studies if you can't listen or you're a fucking monster for doing it in front of other people, like how dare you like shooting?


And the truth is that when I watch it comes I fucking laugh. So I'm like, I'm cracking myself. It's so embarrassing.


And then you start masturbating and it's crazy.


But yeah. And so I'm trying to make the solo thing happen because I was more of an interview thing, but I don't have people over my apartment.


Yeah I it is weird. It's like you have this talent of being able to share without destroying yourselves. And I think that's that's like the skill we need to learn now as comedians is like how much can we share without. Overshared to the point of hurting ourselves. Yeah, I mean, and I think it's a lot you learn each time because there's sometimes I say stuff and then I leave and I'm I'm like, why did I tell that? Yeah.


Story? But I feel like a podcast.


I like for me, like, I want to leave it all on the table. Like, I just think that's what we're doing. Like every time of the podcast I'm like, oh, I shouldn't have said that. Like every good Howard Howard interview I've ever done, I've left being like I shouldn't have said what Howard Dean, Howard Stern like.


I think if I ever left a podcast feeling like embarrassed, I shouldn't have said that. I probably didn't do a good job. Yeah, you know me, every time I do a podcast, I leave it. I'm like, totally like that wasn't funny. That was a nightmare that sucked.


Well, it's also just one podcast. That's what I was. It's like this is one thing and you just keep going and keep doing and and.


Yeah. And, you know, I don't I'm still learning this sort of space.


Yeah. But also it's like you get a free it's better to over speak or overshare and then you can correct it on the next podcast. Yeah. Well you know, I feel a little better. Rather than censor yourself, nobody wants careful comedy. That's boring.


I can be canceled at any moment. It's all out there, Mike, roasts, everything. There's no we have no. It's just like detaching from the outcome of everything. And just I think that I'm funniest when I'm on it, like on tethered. So I'm not going to start all of a sudden. Yeah.


Comedians that were supposed to be dangerous, we're supposed to say show that upsets you. That's like literally our job description.


And when she drives you, you do realize she's very dangerous.


Oh, I love you so much. What else do we need to cover? Follow follow the form in Instagram and Twitter because we're a real professional show.


We have a doctor coming on to ask the questions. Do. Yes.


And when are you going to go? Are we friends?


I mean, do you think I'm pretty and do you want to since you're the queen of all podcasts, do you want to intro our Dr. Borshoff?


Mean I mean, you said one word. Chiselers is the last name of the fucking doctor. I have to intro Dr. Borrus Faceman vison on the podcast.


OK, guys, guys, this next guest is you may know him from diagnosing Whitney Cummings recovered from and not giving me the painkillers. I asked from being begged for extra painkillers. We're drawing hard boundaries and sticking to them. Yes, not being manipulated. The one person I'm being manipulated by the queen is someone that money can't buy.


Sum of money can't buy. When you ask me for pills, I'm like, what? Can I borrow some money to go find these? I don't know what you need for me.


I was in so much pain. I was literally just texting people how I thought it was easy to get painkillers in America. Turns out it's not.


And you got to go to Mexico anyway. So the great the safe doctor Borut is a real doctor here that went to a real medical school with a real degree answering your questions.


Here he is, Dr. Boris Boris Faceman.


We're back on good for you with a real live doctor, it's me. We have a real live doctor and a female comic who occasionally dresses as a sexy nurse for her young boyfriend.


I'm the opposite of a doctor. I'm the sick patient.


So, Dr. Weissman, you are who diagnosed me with covid? Yes. How was that experience for you? You lucky dog.


You were a lot less funny when I diagnosed you than I had imagined.


So you're in a mask right now. Is what we're doing safe right now, in your opinion? Clearly not because you're in a mask.


I mean, I think it's my it's part of my duty to to set a good example, wear a mask anywhere that I go. I have been vaccinated. I've gotten both of my vaccines. You know, I imagine that I'm I'm in a pretty safe space, but I wear a mask around everyone. I don't trust anybody.


You think we're so filthy we could get through the vaccine with our germs? Well, he would be able to give it.


If you get the vaccine, you can still carry it to us. Right.


Or the vaccine is not 100 percent effective. So when they say like 95 percent, you know, effective, that that other five percent, those people can contract covid in the right situations. And if you can contract it, you can spread it.


Can we just ask you some rapid fire questions? Because I feel like everything I knew to be true about covid three months ago has all been debunked. And I'm basically all right now. Yeah.


Can you just help me? Most of what I do every day or for the last nine months has been a good question.


And I basically get my news and health advice from comedians. So I'd like to just start getting it from doctors, if that's OK. Does the sun still kill it outside?


Yeah, I mean, being out and being out in the sun, if if things are laid out in the sun, like you get a package or something and you leave it out there for long enough, huh? Yeah.


The ultraviolet rays will kill it long enough as in 20 minutes, two hours. It gets a little bit about on what kind of surface. OK. Oh, I think for the most part we got away from what we were doing back in March and April, which is wiping everything down that comes into the house. Right. Most of the time I think we came to realize that unless you're, you know, your Postmus guy just coughed or sneezed on your package, pretty difficult to get it that way.


Got it. Main way of transmission is I breathe on you. You breathe on me. Right.


No kissing. OK, hold your breath. I'm hearing is this a rumor there, too, is anal. Oh, well, how do you think I got it?


Are people getting it through their eyeballs that also I mean, I usually when I test people and when I'm going around to hospitals and seeing patients that potentially have covered, I will wear goggles or face masks. So it needs an entry point, you know, mouth, nose in theory, eyes.


You mean like swim goggles. Like you go in with like, ah, you mean I mean like Kareem Abdul Jabbar sort of you know, I've been so stoned on edibles last couple of months. My eyes have been very closed. So I don't think they got through my eyes. My eyes haven't been open in four months.


So but I don't think that's a major source of trends if you're wearing a mask.


Yeah, wearing the. Because a lot of people are wearing the mask. And then I've got a what is it, a face shield on top of it.


So I mean, how careful you are depends a little bit of what are you trying to do. Are you going outside young people? You know, in my case, I might be seeing someone who's actively sick, yeah, coughing, sneezing, whatever, I'm going to hang out with comedians somewhere around, way more sick people.


Everyone's always coughing and disgusting brown comedians. I might do like, you know, full spacesuit. Yeah, but then you'd get roasted. What is this new strand talk to?


I just don't trust the news anymore. I don't trust anything because it's like it'll be like a new strand people. And then you go to it and it's like when you actually read the article, it you see that the headline was like total click bait.


So it's like a dot because there are new strains of viruses going around all the time that are sort of these slight tweaks to them. For the most part, the ones that we worry about that are ones that make it easier for you to catch.


Right. I'm convinced I got the new strain. Am I wrong?


That means I'm currently getting the news. That's fine by me and I'm going to be one of the young ish ones that gets it.


I don't know that it changes a lot for us in the sense that you still have to protect yourself. You're still sort of waiting to get vaccinated as long as the vaccine works against the new strain. I think our strategies are pretty much the same.


So the vaccine that you did, the current vaccine will also work against possible new strains.


That's that's what the data shows so far. Like everything else in this. Yeah, no, just wait three months. We'll see if that changes.


So that's the big thing is we just kind of know what we know and then we just have to expect it to be debunked in three months. Well, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.


I know when something's new is not to get sort of stuck in your dogma of this is how it is. We've learned, you know, better what medications work, what doesn't work and what does work, intubating everybody in the hospital, you know, putting you on a breathing machine as soon as you came in, basically, and it turned out that they learned that that really wasn't the way to go. Wow.


Yeah, that was. And you sort of we found some medications that were what works, some different techniques. There's some steroids are a big one Nexium episode that they used. You gave me steroids, right?


Like they had some steroids in your neck. Does look a little look at your hand. I just got so many calls so I know I can't show my hands anymore. It's just like triggering to be born.


So steroids like chloroquine on that ship has sailed, right? Yeah. Clorox bleach. Not helpful.


Yeah. If you drink it, it will definitely kill the virus.


But yeah, I wouldn't go that way because.


What did you give me. You gave me an antibiotic right away.


I mean there was a couple of other things possibly going on with you because God hates me. Yeah.


He just wanted to die your hair brown. I'm just like, what can we do to make this better? Put our hair back, be a regular person.


Do you think my immune system has been suppressed by the amount of Clorox bleach I put on my hat every two weeks? I haven't even thought every possible.


I know for the most part, for people that are not hospitalized, there's not a whole lot to do. I mean, most of the stuff is just trying to make you feel better. Yeah, you can Tylenol for aches and pains that did not work for him and fevers. Yeah, I don't think Tylenol. Yeah.


How annoying is that. You're like dying and stuff like take it. But I literally was, I don't have a headache. It smells like drink water like go fuck yourself. I get migraines.


No but I, I was trying to take painkillers and I couldn't keep them down. Is that a common experience.


What's made this interesting? What makes all these conspiracy theories, you know, keep blowing up is because there are some people that get barely anything. Yeah. And other people are going to the hospital being miserable for a week, you know, hallucinating like in your case.


I mean, you were out there. I was hallucinating so bad that I thought the guy that my lover who was taking care of me, I was calling my friend Nick, and I was like, he's not giving me the meds.


Like I was packing.


I had a bag packed of, like, loafers and like three sweaters. And I was going to leave in the middle of the night like it was why I went batty. And then I was like, hallucinating. And then I turn on the TV and there's like people in raccoon hats storming the White House. And I'm like, this is bad. Like the news made it so much worse because everything that was happening in reality was so much worse than my hallucinations that like it's just the confluence of how insane reality is right now with my hallucinations was just making it worse.


Yeah, I feel like when people call me now with like, hey, I'm having this symptom, could it be covered? The answer's always yes. Right. That might be right. What about this? That's that could be covered to you guys.


I got very paranoid. I also like now in the aftermath, like I'm having like mine was more neurological and muscular and then respiratory. I didn't have any respiratory stuff.


Right. You were breathing OK? Yeah. Strong lungs. I don't know what that was so very achy, though, but people are having neurological stuff. That's that's what's freaking me out. Well, you were texting me like I ran, and I'm in so much pain. I'm like, because of the dog. Like, she didn't I didn't tell you I had covered, like, this dog's really got in there and I'm like, as the guy really outstanding for painkillers.


And I'm like, I was giving you my friend who's a nurse number. No, I was like, do you want to hit her up? She can come to your house just like I. She's like, doctors aren't going to give me drugs because they want to kill a celebrity. I'm like, you want me to go into the street and get you street drugs?


But I got I was like, doctors won't give me drugs because they're worried they're going to kill me. Like Michael Jackson, like Michael Jackson ruined it for the rest of my life. I'm going to take responsibly. This bitch wants me to go, like, find a drug dealer on the street, like go to a fucking homeless encampment.


I was like, I can take Percocet like a lady, like just I can do this. I was trying to convince all the doctors. And then what else was I take? I was on Percocet. Oh. And then I started ordering weed edibles on that little like app or whatever, and that didn't go great.


This is exactly what we recommend for treating this like a living nightmare. The doctor, did you get your illicit Percocet edibles?


But because that's where the conspiracy theory came in for me, because I was like, painkillers don't work on this. That's the one thing America has is pain killers. That's the one thing we're great at. And those aren't even worth you.


You've had some earlier conspiracy theories in our chat over the Joe. You were like Texas once. You're like, wait, I just realized that the guns were using it to take our temperature are from China, by the way. They finger the little finger oxygen thing. I was like, is it a coincidence that everything I'm ordering is from China was like, you know, everything's from China, you know that, right? Michelle Rogan was like, you've got a little off the ground here.


Listen, I have Alex Jones over here making more sense to me.


I mean, I was going to some wild places, but it's also the kind of sick that you is this everyone's ignorance? It's the kind of sick that doesn't, you know, the flu or the like. You can kind of like watch TV and watch the crowd. Like, this was like you had to be on alert all the time.


And you're just I was just sitting there like, you're going to get through this. You're going to get through this like I couldn't sleep. It makes you kind of manic.


People that get sick are getting really sick. Different symptoms, not just feeling like, oh, this was just a little something. The people that are affected that come through it, that had it for, you know, legitimately a week or more will all tell the same story of that was bad. Hmm. That was miserable.


And then also, I also want to make sure I'm not, you know, exaggerating or minimizing. You know, Andy and I were talking about this last night. Like, I'm trying to figure out also delineating what is from just the straight up dehydration. And like, I wasn't able to keep food down. I wasn't able to drink a lot. So it's like, of course, I'm going to have a headache. I haven't eaten in three weeks.


So, like, what's from the covid and what's from just the that aftermath.


Everybody that watches and listen to this podcast knows that when it sounds like she's been underwater for like four months, like, I guess the most, because I wasn't I have to I was not taking care of myself.


I think I was in this place where I was like I was I had a sinus infection, but I was so excited to not have covid that any other ailments. I was like, OK, it's just a sinus infection. As long as I don't have covid like I think we're forgetting about all the other things that happened to us as well.


I'm definitely seeing fewer people come in for all their regular stuff. Yeah. Because of their bodies, they're afraid of us.


Wow. Nobody wants to go. Yeah. There are more people dying of heart attacks because they just don't want to go to the hospital.


That type to go to the hospital, try to see us. I mean we're lucky. My office, we have like a little courtyard outside.


So I've had to tell a few people, like, listen, I mean, there is no way that I can look in your ears or listen to your heart over the phone, huh? Impossible. So you can come you can stay outside. I'll see you outside. But sometimes you just need to you just need to see them.


You listen to people's hearts. I never even thought about that. That's sweet. All I want to let you know, he's you can't see this, but he has like a belt of of hand sanitizer. Yes. Ready to go. So do I. Also. How what are the chances I'm getting covid right right now.


We all tested before this.


What are the chances that right now one of us has it and is spreading it if we all test because the slightly different circumstances you've had it recently recovered, vaccinated. I don't know what the situation is for the crew around, but have orgies publicly all the time.


All naked, by the way. Yeah, yeah.


Well, we were afraid that it would stick to their clothes when they made them and we are going to start doing Plexiglas between them and the guests.


Oh I like that. Yeah. After and yeah I mean I don't have followers to get the plexiglass ok.


It is sponsor for that like I've heard it described as, like all these measures that we take is kind of like Swiss cheese, like any of the measures is imperfect, like one slice of Swiss cheese. You can sort of punch a hole through it, virus can get through it. You start stacking different measures on top of each other, you know, tested, tested once, tested twice. Some distance masked, things like that, and you start to make it much, much harder for the virus to get.


And we have to we have to get to a place where we can function. I mean, Marvel movies are shooting. I'm shooting a TV show. And like, if they shut down because someone gets covid great. But like, we a lot of people are figuring out a way to function and shoot movies, you know, and I'm in the way they're shooting is they're taking these tests that are imperfect.


Yeah, but they're doing them often, right? Doing them every day, every other day, something like that. Right. And they're breaking up people into pods. And that's how movie productions are going. Right.


Why is L.A. so bad? Is it because of apartment living? Intergenerational living. Like what? Why is this so deeply embarrassing? I mean, this is a nightmare, at least embarrassing for a lot of reasons, but it's also so huge.


It's OK, guys, stop talking everything.


But you still 80 degrees today in L.A..


Why are my friends in Texas doing a show like what's happening? Why is L.A. like, so embarrassing?


Well, I think dying in Texas, too, though. Yeah, a lot of places are bad. We test a lot more in L.A. than other places that are full and other places, too. But, yeah, we're bad here because we're we're tucked in together. Apartment living. We're working. Hmm. There's lots of generations especially, you know, not everyone has a huge house.


Right. I know. I am being attacked with this apartment living. Oh, yeah.


By the way, it's cute that you think you're going to get it from here, not your elevator button and laundry machine. You got an elevator in my apartment and a laundry machine. Oh, my God. Her doorman.


So L.A. just is just cosmopolitan. Cities are just going to be worse. No. One, because more people are getting tested. So there's going to be more proof that they got it. Other cities, they might just have it.


We just don't know the places where we're tied in together. I mean, New York was sort of the the poster child in the beginning. Everyone was is really packed in there. They had it the worst. Yeah. But I think what you'll see is, you know, after you recover, you have some level of immunity. We're not exactly sure how much and for how long. So all these flare ups, you see this dip afterwards. So in New York, the numbers got after.


It was terrible. It was actually really good for a while. Right? Everyone had it. Everyone got the crap scared out of them.


Yeah. How many people are getting it again? Because I know a couple of people that got it multiple. Still relatively rare to get it a second time. And the the second round for people that do get it, it's much more mild. Yeah.


Is six feet still the distance. That makes sense.


I'm mostly asking because I'm selling a lot of movement, a lot of units here to make sure my merch is accurate. Yeah.


No Six Feet is still is still the recommendation. Yeah.


OK, ok. Thank you so much. Two inches away. Thank you. So it's hot.


I guess it takes you to still die, you know, and it seems like the best way to move forward is to take care of our immune systems. And like zinc, I'm hearing a lot about taking zinc in the morning. What for just the average person would you recommend?


I think it is one of the most underappreciated under talked about things in this pandemic is, well, people with good immune systems tend to do better. So out of shape, fat America, it's not so surprising we didn't do so well. I mean, we should be trying to keep better, you know, keep ourselves in better shape, exercise, drink more water. There is some thought that, you know, taking zinc and zinc lozenges, at least for a while, we're still we're still treating covid patients with zinc in the hospital like a zinc lozenge every morning.


Yeah, not a bad thing, but in general, just getting healthy. Yeah. You know, stop smoking. Yeah. Stop. Oh, I started.


I know. I did. I smoked one pack and then on vaping. Yeah.


So, you know, slimming down. I mean we see we know that people with all those comorbid conditions of like the diabetes and obesity, high blood pressure are getting it worse. So what can we do to get rid of those things? Hmm. We can be less American.


Right, right. Right. Well, that's also true. Yeah. Because it's like I mean, in Sweden, like. And do you just do I mean, not only they probably have better leadership, but but is a reason a lot of the Scandinavian countries don't have it as bad because they're just healthier in general. Yeah.


Countries are doing better that are healthier in general. You're to start better medical systems, easier to I mean, this whole process, you know, that here there was a a portion of who do you know? Do you know someone that can test you? Do you know how to sign up for the vaccine here?


There's an aspect of that couldn't tell you. This is really weird.


Yeah, it's weird that we don't know. It's weird that I don't know where to get my news. It's I'm literally getting. It from hearsay, from like random friends or like down at the forum getting the vaccine, I'm like, I didn't know it was available.


And also like I'm dating a medical professional, but he's a veterinarian and they qualified, but they didn't even know that they qualified. You know, they were getting our news that way.


Yeah. There's no like a central piece of information and that Florida started doing seniors, but California wasn't doing vaccinating seniors, New Jersey's vaccinating smokers.


My favorite thing is that, yes, it's soldiers.


What do you have to do to prove that you're smoking?


I'm like, where's the photographer? You have to just show up like, hey, I never met, like, five in my mouth.


I just need to see your crow's feet on your lips. So I just need to see your nail to make sure it's yellow. That's wild. I had no idea about that.


Yeah. Watch. It's not true, but I think it is. I don't fucking know. I check it. Well, fact check at the Rogan said I know I told you and he ignored it. So it must not be something that strikes us. Muted our chain.


A while ago what the question I had is the does blood type come into play. I know I've heard rumors. Yeah. There was anything in the news.


I just called a rumor. Now I read that on the news and I'm like, I'm hearing some gossip. That's how little I trust the news of this morning.


Yeah, no, there seems to be some difference between blood type. But I think because you can't change your blood type, there's certain blood types that make it seems to be a little bit easier for you to get covid and one that makes it a little bit less easy for you to get covered.


And it's fucking I is the bad one. Right?


Well, since you fucking when I since you can't change your blood type, we're not talking bra size. We're talking Fanny. Don't get confused, Danny. I don't have a negative effect.


If I have a meeting, I should probably be at work like, you know, we're trying to book shows. We're trying to get back to doing stand up. When is it like the fall?


Like what are we look in terms of when are you going to go into a building with a hundred other people and watch comedy?


This doesn't count. You know, I think at least. Things are starting to turn the corner. OK, yes, now, I mean, the local hospitals in L.A. have the hospitalization rates have dropped about 10 percent. That's something like we're not for a while. Every day. The news was just record number of people, even more people. Now we're doing, you know, issues on the roof and in the parking lot.


And to be fair, though, like should our health care system have been more prepared for something like this?


Because it's like our we're slammed. But like, were you ever equipped for something like this in the first place? I mean, hospitals.


Yeah, I don't think we're. I don't think we're legitimately ready, especially on the leadership side of what are you going to do because you can't just create nurses, you can't just snap your finger and there's another nurse that can take care of you in the ICU. You can make more, you know, respirators, things like that. But I don't think we have that capacity when they were talking about in New York, graduating medical students early. I mean, I didn't.


I don't know anything on the first day that I graduated medical school, there would be any help to anybody. I might be able to write somebody's name down. You think I could go from my first day of medicine to I am going to help intensive care unit patients? No, but I think there has to be a way to find. You know, to get sort of more medical professionals in the loop. Mm hmm. Whether that's National Guard or whatever, those sort of people.


But there has to be a way to get people in the offices there on Bumble saying all cops. What the hell is that? It's not the craziest thing I've ever seen.


Anyway, I don't know. You had a boyfriend for two years. Why are you on Bumble Todd? I hope you're listening to my Levinas is 11 years younger. No deal.


Can we just talk about like I mean, my experience with this, like I've been through a lot of I've I've had pain. I broke my shoulder. Like, I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. Like this to me was such a like mindfuck. And it just made me realize, like just the mental health crisis of this, like just like being alone, being unable to communicate.


Like I couldn't even like FaceTime my friends. I couldn't connect with people. Like it's what's going to happen to our mental health and what can we do.


What I just laughing about how you got covered and then broke your face and then got attacked by a dog. I mean nothing funnier that I haven't talked to for three to like to every day talking. No talking then it's just hospital pictures, blood everywhere. I mean I will say covid impaired my judgment. I think it's safe to say and my taste in clothes.


I have been dressing like an Oshkosh B'Gosh model since I had covid, which is that covid since the beginning of the band.


But there have been some weird shit like I don't know if it's just because I was like off the grid for three weeks, but like little things, like I was eating toast the other day and I was just eating it like it had almond butter on it and I was just eating it upside down.


And my dad was like, toast goes that way. And I was like, oh, right. Like, it's just like weird little thing.


Know if that's a common covid. I know. Well, that's the other thing is that I was like driving with with Grace and I was I was just like I hadn't driven in a while and I was like having spatial issues. And I was just like forgetting where I was going. Like, I just felt like I had, like, brain fog and and it was like, you always drive like that.


Like I mean, it is hard. When you drove into the Comedy Store was like, that's a green light.


I'm kind of trying to blame a lot of my flaws on Koed, and it's not going over well. No one's buying it.


I do think that underappreciated people that have not had covid I think the two things that we've seen a lot of since March has been a covid be depression, anxiety stuff, all the isolation stuff, which also probably weakens your immune system.




Doesn't help. But all the older people that they really have kept to themselves, I'm not going anywhere. Not seeing anybody. Mm hmm. Nobody wants to see them. They're afraid to get them Sukma masks.


I'm just going to get granular does too. Cloth masks equal 195. Should we just be wearing a ninety five?


Can you get your hands on it. Ninety five.


I mean can you. What the fuck did. Yeah. I've got one right now right here.


And you know it's mine because the inside is full of make a 100 percent mine but no mine's even dirtier than yours and the old lady that yes I keep losing my massow eye. This company pretty connected, makes a little necklace so you can have it on because I'll put on other people's mouths because I wear.


Do they know your style?


To just me, the greatest color know because I and I also was wearing the cloth masks and when I had a sinus infection and she was like, you wash your your cloth mask right now.


So I just put in my purse, throw it on. I was watching it like once a week. He's like, your mask is like underwear. You have to watch it every day. And I was like, oh, that is so gross.


I didn't even occur to me every day. Yeah. Turned inside. Oh what are you talking about. Oh my God. Imagine people flipping the cloth. It's so I mean how can this be less disgusting than the covid virus. Look at all this makeup.


I thought you were wearing makeup. Yeah. Thank you so much.


You know, I mean, I usually wear it in ninety five everywhere. The big thing about different Cenac in ninety five and ninety five and ninety five it is like sucked to your face. You have these elastic straps behind your head and it's got the, the little metal thing on the.


Yeah I know. I mean you inauguration yesterday somebody was like anyway and I was like how do these guys. No, no, no, no. Oh my God. Obama's kept falling down. They're all hugging.


I was like, oh my God, you guys, why can't people get mad? Because the Fed it's wild.


Now, the when are you coming back? I'm sure they fed. They're very smart. They're frankly too small.


They're like they're terrible. Don't buy. Yeah. They don't even cover any of your holes.


But but so like is there anything that we're like missing like what's the biggest.


But are we are the K 95 McEnany guys are great.


OK, very good. I got these on Amazon.


It's not like that airtight seal that you get with a ninety five with the materials the same.


How many times can you wear this. How many times can you wear a disposable mask. I mean, you don't want to wear it forever and you want to. I say, though, if you take it out and you put in like a little brown bag so it doesn't you don't want it to mold, oh, still breathing.


And you see all this crap that's on the inside of it. Yeah.


Where our mouths are so gross. Do you foresee us just wearing masks forever in general?


I foresee us being a little bit more like Asia going forward, that even when this is all gone, you know, if you're getting on a subway or like, you know, you'll have people wearing masks.


I owe an apology to all the Asian people in the airplanes that I was judging. So I'm like, oh, my God, you guys are awesome. It's only God. And we were such filthy pigs doing all that time.


But like when like emotionally like I'm just kind of fascinated by the the the emotional PTSD, the muscle memory of this one. I mean, there was a day where we would go go into a comedy club, sit down in the dark. A waitress would hand us a glass with a straw and we would just put in our mouth in the dark. Will that ever happen again?


Yeah. I mean I mean, it's actually happening right now. But even if we snap our fingers and covid was gone tomorrow, would we be ready to go to a concert?


Some of us are emotionally like psychologic. Exactly. Would be my family's really into sports were big Dodger fans. I just went to the World Series this year and we were at home on our couch.


Yeah, but would we have gone if if all of a sudden for the last day they let 50000 people back into Dodger Stadium, I don't think people would be ready.


I don't yeah, I don't know. I mean, there's so many places like in Texas that are like pretty open and but they could be getting it. They're just not getting tested. So we just don't know. And they could be asymptomatic.


I mean, the other thing I keep on having this this, like, daydream of what it's going to be like at that first concert where you actually are not nervous, nobody's nervous. The energy of a real crowd the first time back, I think would be awesome. It's one of the things that.


Yeah, I mean, I was doing shows last year outside and it was just like the most amazing electric. I think you doing it safely. It's just like there's nothing better. Yeah.


Definitely feel this bottled up like people want to be able to do those things again. Can't wait.


I just feel like I can't imagine full capacity for a long time though. Yeah. It's just wild. Like are we going to live in if we do theaters again, are there going to be pieces of glass between us. You're going to have to walk through like a what is now would be like a metal detector or temperature checks like the temperature checks are. That's not really much of anything, right?


It's not much of it, doesn't it? By the time you have a temp of 102, I would hope that you're not outside. Right.


You know, going to see a movie, but you can have it and not have a temperature absolute or spread it, not have a temperature. So that's sort of like a yeah.


I was like I hear something kind of a fake thing, like a false.


You're super sick. We'll catch you. Right, right, right, right. It's kind of a false sense of security.


Didn't let me arrest a girl for she got a positive covid test and then tried to fly it. And there was a girl, Alex.


Well, there was somebody that died on a plane. I don't know if it was too lax of covid. Oh, yeah. They died.


And then it came out that they had tested positive for covid and got on the plane and and took off. I forget if it was to L.A. because how hard is that?


If you if you go visit somewhere, which you I mean, people are still doing and then you get it, you're only there for two days, you get covid, you're like, I don't want to be stuck.


Where am I going to get out of here. Yeah. You know, how many people are not going to just go fuck like you rent a car and you drive, I guess.


Yeah, but how many people are talking about maybe they won't notice or whatever. It's just like this moral. I think things start to get back to normal when the numbers are down. Yeah. You have a decent percentage of people vaccinated. What do you walk into a room and you go, OK, if I'm vaccinated and you're vaccinated and you're vaccinated, well, what are the chances then do we need to be all be wearing masks and things like that anymore?


What everybody's what's the most annoying piece of fake news that you hear that you have to do on a regular basis?


I mean, there's all sorts of crazy stuff. It was made in the lab or whatever. Like what's the most annoying truth?


I don't is made. Yeah. You know, the E.R. is full. The hospital's full. I don't care if it was made in China or not. Yeah, it's Putin's baby. You're right. It doesn't really matter. It's out. It's here. I think especially people that want to go back to normal want to get things back to normal. We have a path, it sort of sucks, but this is the path, right? You got to stay safe.


You got to wear masks when you're around people, you got to keep distance. You got to do more stuff outside. And if the vaccine is offered, do you go and get it?


So fans wrote him some questions and they're very good. What are the risks of getting covid on an airplane?


Less than we thought in the beginning, because I was on an airplane, I never felt safer.


Everyone was so neurotic. Everyone was messed up. People were wiping stuff down. I felt way safer on a plane that I did like.


I had the opposite feeling, really. I flew and everyone was like, it's so safe on the plane. And then I was my fucking bitch friend was in first class. I'm like, it's not don't feel safe back here.


But I shook hands with everyone and then the middle seats you had to pay extra for. So nobody bought them. So it was empty in the fucking middle and packed in the back. And I'm like you.


That's crazy. No, that's terrible. But that's where it gets well.


Delta is doing a thing where it was only one person a row or something, right?


I think what we found I had no idea how often the air got circulated in an airplane before all of this. I thought, you're just bottled in and breathing the same air, just farts and. Yeah, yeah. That whole flight turns out that they recycle the air, you know, about every ten minutes or so. But if you're sitting shoulder to shoulder with someone that has covid for, you know, your eight hour flight, that's not great.


But it turns out that it's you're only at risk for those people right in your immediate vicinity. So I haven't flown during this, but if I were to fly, I'd wear the best mask I could and plan.


Did not take it off and wash your hands, wash your hands when you got there, when you get off the plane and don't, like, put on eyeliner and cream, blush with your finger. Yeah.


As someone that flies my makeup with my hands.


But also it's about how did you get to the airport. I mean is what we found. Did Uber with five other people, have you wait in a long crowded line at the Sbarro like you have to keep yourself in the airport before you get on the plane too?


Are the lockdown's overblown? Florida and California, Florida, with no masks and a lockdown in California have the same spikes. OK, this person obviously gets their news from Infowars, but let's just stay with ah, the lockdown's overblown.


I think the lockdown's have been well, first of all, if you've driven around L.A. and you think there's really a lockdown, I know when there was a lockdown, I got from the valley to Santa Monica in seventeen minutes. Yeah. Yeah. And now there's traffic almost like there was before. That's right. People have had it. Yeah. People have had.


And I think people also realistically they didn't, didn't understand and don't understand why some things were closed and some things are not closed. Outdoor dining. It's probably pretty damn safe. Hmm. So I'm not sure why, you know, that was something that was closed while other things that were were open. And I think that's the frustration people have had.


Yeah. Because it's just totally thought outdoor dining and was that bad. You wouldn't have seen our governor, you know, having indoor with his friends. But if it was life or death.


Right. And then everything would be shut down, it wouldn't be like you can go into stores for some reason. Right. That the malls would be open, but outdoor dining was closed.


Do you need to get the vaccine if you've already had it? So it seems like getting the vaccine will give you more immunity that lasts longer. Hmm. If you've had it, you have a level of immunity. But because some people have it a little more and some people have it like Whitney, I'm a very intense person.


I go back, I go, and if I was going to have covered, I was going to fucking have it. I don't half ass anything I do.


You're going to see that same variation with how much immunity you get. Hmm. So with the vaccine, you're going to get more immunity and probably longer.


Is it possible. Oh, is it possible that your sinus infection issues are caused by you getting covid tested a lot?


OK, this is my number.


No doubt this bitch knows me a little too well that Canice issues might be related to all the construction going on the house. Yeah, OK. I've heard about THC preventing or fighting the virus. Any truth to this? We've got to stop with weed, you guys. It's embarrassing, it's legal. You're not cool enough.


It's just like how did my husband test positive and I test negative with the exact same symptoms. You smoke weed bitch.


Then why do you have an answer for the THC thing? Sorry for the THC. I mean, I don't see the THC has made any difference, but in general, if you're having a respiratory pandemic, probably don't smoke things someone wrote, is God punishing us?


Can I get it from kissing my imaginary girlfriend? OK, guys, let's get some real questions here. What is the biggest concern in our current stage?


Right now, at least, the problem of the day is that you have enough people that want the vaccine and you don't have enough vaccine out there. Hmm.


Is it true that they're having, like, extra that they have to throw out, though, to there? So with a lot of the vaccines that you have now, especially Pfizer, once you crack the dose, you've got to use it.


So there are people that show up at the end of the day after them, frontline workers and people over 65 or so and smokers in New Jersey, smokers, after they've hit those people, if they have if people miss their appointments and they've opened a vial for you, they have to either use it or throw it away.


And I'd rather them give it to somebody rather than throw it in the trash.


But should everyone else be crowding down? Like to you know what I mean is that, say, are they going to be spreading it, waiting for the vaccine?


I mean, they have them spread out. I think it's more of a testament to sort of the organization of. The United States, L.A., California, the. People legitimately, if you told them, OK, it's not your turn, but it will be your turn in four weeks, in six weeks. People want to be done with this. That's right. I think we all feel that like we're over it. Yeah.


And I just want some kind of leadership to tell me this is when you're going to get it. Just like the wondering in the constant.


Tell me when I'm up. I'll wait. Don't tell me we're on pace for me to get it in 57 weeks, I'll stand in line at the Ralph's.


Yeah, this is a good question. Why do we all not have self-administered at home testing? This feels like a question for Elizabeth. Home skirl. Someone get her out of jail.


Why do we not have self-administered home testing? There are some in the works, but part of the reason why those tests are not as good and some of the drive thru tests you do to yourself are not as accurate is because you're not trained to do it. And one person's deep nasal swab is a lot deeper than somebody else's.


Oh my God, I got so horny. I'm so crazy. Who are oh, when or where? Well, will the vaccine be given to children hasn't even been tested. Wow. Children. So of the two that are approved now. One is for they started studying it 18 and older. The other one's 16 and older. They haven't really completed studies.


And children are teenagers at risk like of not in the same way that the rest of us are, that old people are. This has been a weird virus in the sense that we don't really need to be that afraid for the young kids.


They can spread it, but they can't they can spread it. But when they're getting it for kids, for most of them, it's sort of the same sort of risk as a as a flu or a bad cold. It's not something that you would change your life if we were all, you know, 16.


So if we all get vaccinated, let's say everyone got vaccinated or let's say, well, I'll just be specific, because I'm is a selfish question if I got vaccinated.


So, I mean vaccinated. Stop pretending you care about anyone I know. I just want to see my fucking body. I know this is the best health care you've gotten in your whole life, so I just got insurance.


Once you get the vaccine, can you fly and go see your elderly relatives or do you still need to quarantine?


No, I would think if if everyone in your circle that you're seeing is vaccinated. For that little bubble, yeah. If I call my dad, I won't this won't be good until I think so. I thought I killed my dad and screwed me on purpose, not by accident.


OK, what's the data for vaccines against mutated covid virus?


Yeah, so that's how the different strains, the data so far seems to show that it's it works against the mutated strains. You're going to get more mutations as time goes on, huh? And who knows, maybe you get a different sort of strain of the vaccine in 2022 if you need it for now. Seems to work.


This is a question that I'm going to make jokes about, even though I know it's serious. Like people are asking the long term side effects of covid like guys, we won't know until we've had a long term.


Like people like I have permanent neurological damage. I have it forever. I'm like, it hasn't been forever yet. You don't know that. It's just uncomfortable for human beings to say we don't know. And especially when a doctor says we don't know which is their job, you know, we just want an answer, even if it's a lie.


I think that there's a lot of things that we don't know. And I think if we were a little bit more honest early on with, like getting that message out there of this is what we know now, but it will change.


Hmm. I think we'd be getting a little bit less pushback, right?


Yeah. How rough was that? Just having no information at all. I mean, that was fun. That was wild. Oh, you're going to die. We are. No, we're right.


OK, I mean, throughout this pandemic, just the different outfits I've had when I come in contact with people, you know, that first week or so when they said you don't need to wear it just like. See, people the way you've always seen sick people, you know, just wash your hands afterwards and a month later I had a full spacesuit, which, by the way, I basically modified a yellow painter's suit from Home Depot because that's all I could get my hands on, like a hazmat suit, a hazmat suit.


And you were wearing it just around every time I saw people because I had to test people. I did. You know, you didn't know.


Did a lot of your colleagues got a. You know, let a lot less than I thought as soon as we got the PPE, the the real mess, especially in the hospital, I think people were fine.


Mm hmm. Before that, when they said, well, we don't really have those masks, you know, you can just go see the patient and, you know, sort of do one of these. Yeah, there's a lot of a lot of nurses in particular people that were hands on that were getting killed because you're spending a lot of time in a room with someone that's sick. Yeah.


How long am I contagious after testing positive, but with almost no symptoms. I think there's this thing where I think people think if they don't have symptoms, they have less of the virus.


That's not how it works. Right.


There might be a little bit of something to that, that if you are very, very sick, like did I get because mine was so brutal, did I get a bigger viral load?


I just want to I just want to say viral load. Yeah, but did I get a bigger viral, like, we just don't know yet.


No. It's possible that people it does look like that the more symptomatic you are, the more virus you are pushing out into the air and therefore you're a little bit more contagious, asymptomatic people. You are breathing out some virus, but not as much. But if you test positive, even if you don't have symptoms, you stay quarantined for two weeks. And that's it. Hmm.


And also, here's the other thing that it's hard for people to quarantine. A lot of people live with their families. A lot of people live with them. I mean, you know, that's another problem, right?


It's been a big problem. You talked about multigenerational families. You know, how do you quarantine when you share a room or share a kitchen share bathroom with people?


I know a lot of people have roommates that are going out and being irresponsible. They're being it's just like, what a nightmare. Yeah, that's been tough, especially tough. Come stay with me.


We've got to love empty. There's no furniture. There's nothing I've blood all over. It sounds inviting. Is it true that blood type O is the least likely to get it?


So there is, yeah, I believe, type O, it's a little bit less likely to get it in type A is a little bit more likely. Truth be told, I don't know that we've paid a whole lot of attention to it because you can't change your blood type. Mm hmm. And it's not that much less likely or more likely that, you know, one blood type can just do anything they want and wear a mask.


And, you know, people are just looking for a way to be superior.


I type O like, everyone's just looking for a way. I know I have one a plus in my life and it's the bad one. And that's the only time you've ever got an eye and anything and it's got to be your blood type.


I'm sorry that these are the fans of our show but is covered, transmissible through oral sex, specifically genital to mouth contact only. It's a good question. That is actually it's a good question that everyone's afraid to ask. The questions I get for my podcast I like. Would you rather fuck your mommy or daddy?


Jesus, guys, I don't know where you are. Your mom, Whitney, and your dad was working at ninety five like I mean.


Yes, right. Because I would assume if you're having oral sex, you kiss them at some point hopefully.


Well I assume you're right, but no, I think you need an airway.


You need an entry point. I don't think that qualifies. I have not heard of all of this is great news.


And a lot of people do, you know, sad. This is actually I'm just thinking about for both directions, like, so if I'm if I'm just doing my excuse to not do it, he's like, I'm sick, which but suck my dick anyway. Or if the girl has covered the guys like I'm fine, your sex suck my dick. Anyway, covid don't come for a couple. Yeah.


Guys do not say to your girlfriend I just listen to what his podcast and Dr. Reisman said you could still suck my dick even though I'm covert positive.


I would think you got to get within six feet to second step.


You can get like a pocket pussy.


Does that count if you put in your mouth? Is Pinki a side effect of covid?


No, you push it, you're no, but you open your butt that there's talk of, you know, covid can cause eye irritation and maybe come in when it does come in through the eye that it gives you some pinkeye so you can't eat.


Guys, I think that's a shame. But you can suck. I'm sorry.


This is why doctors don't come on our show very often.


The only reason I'm going to bring someone with information and someone who has no information, but we'll interrupt a binge, OK? Yes. Some of these questions are just so wildly inappropriate. I'm trying to skip that. The disgusting ones.


Nothing I haven't heard.


I, I see the pictures people send me.


Well, of what? They're like, is this herpes or is it Dick Koven that's pretty on point. Do you have any more questions?


Any. Now, because we have a real doctor here, where do you get your news? I truly don't know where to get my news on this.


Yeah, that's a good question. There's a lot of medical stuff that we read. There's a like where's the Journal called Netscape that we hit up a lot. But I think we're we're doing what you guys are doing. It's trying to get it from like multiple sources, multiple places. And so Kuhnen Dog is not the best source.


Number two of covid news because I wake up in and I'm like, I really don't even know where to go for news at this point because it's just gotten so I mean, we and try to get also not only news, but numbers from places that are legit.


I know, like in L.A., if you're just following how many people got covid, that's been tough to follow because in the beginning they'd open up like a super site like Dodger Stadium and the numbers go up and you go, well, it's probably because they tested more people and then the numbers just dropped in L.A. dramatically. Not so surprisingly, they turned Dodger Stadium from a testing site to a vaccine site. They're testing 30000 people less a day. So I'd like to see how bad the pandemic is.


At least I just look at hospitalization rates. You can't fake that, right? Either in the hospital or you're not.


What about the argument? I know a lot of one of the conspiracy theories I heard was that doctors are getting paid more or hospitals are getting paid more if it's covid than if it's something else. And so then they're saying anything that anyone comes in with is covered.


Yeah, I mean, I've I've heard that. So I fill out death certificates. So, you know, when people die, they send a certificate to do the bobsledders.


I want to see my handwriting is defined by the letters.


I don't get paid to fill out a death certificate, you know, but it is a little bit to your judgment what he's like.


I would have killed you, you know, was it covid? Was it a heart attack or was it something else? You put down whatever you want to put down. Nobody pays me for that.


So Larry King, did he die of covid? We don't know. It's a good question. I had I had someone die, not one die taken from us too soon. One more wife could have been me.


Taubira, no, you're too old. But I had someone that was in the hospital. He had terrible cancer. Got hospitalized not for his cancer, but for because he turned covid positive, went home, was home for a few weeks, kind of, you know, like you hear about some other people. And he died later. Was that a covid death? I mean, I didn't put covid on his death certificate. Mm hmm. But, you know, getting covid or getting anything, getting any pneumonia was probably a push back.


I did not need. Right. Any push, right.


Yeah. Pushed him over the edge. But so there's there is sort of a gray area, but you can't deny that the hospitals are full when they're never full. Yeah. They have people in the parking lot in tents. What is that from? It's not because we're adding a line to their admission records of what they have. Mm hmm. That sucks so bad to get how did it feel with me when you had covid and then had injuries that you had to go to the hospital for?


Was that, like the worst nightmare?


I. Yeah.


I mean, well, the first thing was like, is it ethically responsible to go to a hospital right now? Like, are they full? I mean, I went to see UCLA once and it was pretty empty to get my fingers sewn up. And then when I went to Cedars, it was like the lobbies were pretty empty.


And I was like, I don't know if that means there's no visitors. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I was like, there's no visitors. I don't know if the rooms were just full in the lobby. Was that like was very eerie.


Like I thought I was going to go into like a chaotic like, well, it feels different in different places over here in the Valley at Cedars Tarzana. Hmm. Where you pull in, they have the triage in the parking lot. They have all these tents. So you see it right away. You're like, wait. Mm hmm. This is where I was parking before. In other places, it's just that all the hospital beds are full, all the rooms are doubled up.


Yeah, well, and also when I went in to get my finger sewn up, I had to go in and say, you guys, I'm covered, positive you don't know me. And then all of a sudden you're like, and this is from before they were all in like beekeeper outfits. Like they went from like, hey, what's up to, like, fully hazmat suits? You know, because that's the other thing. If you're going to the doctor for something else right now, you have to have covid.


You have to tell them.


Yeah, obviously. So that was like kind of weird.


Yeah. And that that sort of stuff is making things take a lot longer. Yeah. So that's part of the reason why the waits are longer. Yeah. You walk in if someone has covid or might have covid you've got to.


Yeah. Get your whole getup on. Can we get the vaccine while pregnant.


It hasn't been studied and we just don't know why.


So the only people that we're not really sure about it at least that we don't think that there's any problem with it. That doesn't sound very reassuring to people that are pregnant. Yeah. So pregnant young children hasn't really been studied and in great numbers in those people. So I think it's a little too early to say. One hundred percent. Yeah. Go for it.


Oh I can dogs give it to you. Can you get it. Like can your dog go like play with someone who has covered come to you because your face have you covered. Yeah it's a good question.


I know some people, some, some animals have tested positive like in zoos which is why are they testing.


It's so they're like this elephant tested positive. It's like why were you testing it. Yeah.


At times we're like we're having trouble getting people get tested. Why did you hear that this time it was all of a sudden not remembering. Yeah, but the others was like, I just when they're like a poodle in Florida has it, I'm like, you wasted a test. Like, what are we talking here? Just mad because it was a poodle. I know. I'm like, yeah, it was a pure dog. Oh, it's the least of that dog's problems.


But yeah. So you can get it from a I don't know, I mean what is the surfaces thing now.


Now it's not surfaces or it's just not a major player.


If you take if you touch anything that has covered on it or you cough in the air and it's in my hands if I touch my face quickly enough, mouth, nose, eyes, it's possible so far.


Are you covered chasers just grab that sneeze or have it on your. I love people that wear gloves and they think that that it's different than hands.


People will like walk around with their gloves and touch their faces like no, it's still like what do you stuff to take the gloves, you know what I'm saying? Like people think gloves means you wash your hands.


The one thing that this thing has taught us is how often we touch your face. Right. Once you've got the mask on and you feel yourself. I know. I think that's been the biggest changes. We don't touch our faces much.


Right. I want to ask one thing that's murky, since everybody thinks they're a doctor. Now, when we do test, someone's like, well, that's not the test that works or that test isn't effective. Everyone thinks so.


The best test has has been from the beginning and still is the PCR test PCR. What does that mean?


It goes off to the lab, right. It's it usually comes back in a in a few days. So if your test is coming back in ten minutes, that's not the PCR.


But if you get a PCR test today and you're waiting three days, you can't go to a party the next day. You have to. You know what I'm saying? Because you can get it in between the time you test and take it off.


The lab is just a moment in time. Yeah, right. It's that moment. It's like a pregnancy test. You're not pregnant today. Doesn't mean you can't ever get pregnant.


I you don't like that. I like you guys. We'll never have to take one more question. Can you get pregnant? Your period. Is that a safe method of birth control? So does the blood method work like totally organic?


Can you goosebump? What is this?


I feel clear. I mean, I feel like this is going to be an ongoing thing. I feel like in a couple of months we'll have you back and we'll get the new science. And everything we're saying today will be completely debunked.


But just since I had it, I just I wanted to just sort of let everybody know we had quite a ride.


I'm glad you made it through. We're we're talking on the other side.


That was wild. What was the craziest thing you witnessed me?


Do you? I don't even think I'm allowed. Say, I saw you do, by the way, we you sent over someone to take my blood or something, and I hid from her in the bathroom for like 20 minutes.


She really appreciated my lover had to, like, drag me out. And because I was like, is this woman? I was so paranoid. It was hilarious.


It's a really vivid hallucinations. It's not.


I was, like, calling you from the bathroom, like, I need you to send me, like, OxyContin were like we already sent one in. And you're not anymore. Thank you for not killing me, by the way.


You're welcome. It's bad for business. Thank you.


Thank you for drawing a boundary. I was really mad at you at the time, but I'm really grateful that you didn't give me all the prescriptions.


I have evidence because you said that you wouldn't give it up. Yes, I appreciate that.


All had to kill a celebrity, but it's actually just so funny because I. I elevated myself to like Michael Jackson level.


It was also just like 1:00 p.m. I hadn't talked to you in three weeks. I was like, OK, I love you guys.


Keep sending in questions. We'll start doing this regularly. I love you. Thank you. Dr. Mason, you're a rock star. Don't ride elephants.


Love you guys, I.