Kaley CuocoGood For You
- 806 views
- 17 Dec 2020
Kaley Cuoco and Whitney are both flighty and attentive.
Good morning, Kelly.
I need to make sure that we stay on track. It's going to be impossible.
I have so much to tell you, so much. Never drop a child would never let me hit a can.
So on my own podcast. Don't hit the get. Kick the can. Don't kick the can. But there are a lot of liquids. I just have to mention it again.
I need you. What. Yes, thank you, thank you. Love you. Thank you. Finally, someone is not scared of me helping you out, love when a man's not scared of me, know, so he really committed when we've silenced white straight men.
Yeah. Yeah. They're finally finally here. They can be heard. The time has come. Congratulations.
So you are the most consistently fun, warm hearted.
I'm jealous of you. I was jealous of you. I've known you since you're seven. Yeah, no, we've known each other a long time. I forget that some.
Are we friends? Yes, we are friends. We're like deeply friends. We've known each other a very long time. I forget how many. You were 17. I wrote a script with your ex when you were 17.
Yeah, that is wild. That's really in a diner. X x x x x.
Yeah, that is wild weed like did karaoke together. Halloween parties. I feel like there if I have. I sent you pictures. Pictures are amazing of us.
I know I'm, I don't think I can post them because I think I would get. Oh same by the way. I mean mine are fully offensive. Same. Yeah. We didn't know back then. Well did we. I don't know. I mean how many years ago do you just said you knew me since I was seventeen. So math is not my strong suit.
I just turned thirty five so which is crazy. So a long time we know each other. Twenty years. Don't you remember when your parents or family used to say like I have been friend a friend of mine for over twenty years. Nice to be like who is friends with someone for twenty. Like that means you're so old now. I have friends that I've been friends with for like I said your you're in my like cellular.
Like memory, well, it's like we have so many there's a lot of things that we have in common. Obviously the business, but the animal love and the dogs and cats and the were the same person with the horses.
The horses were both Crazy Horse girls, a horse girl. Can I tell you. Have you been that your whole life or.
Yes, I grew up and every summer in Virginia, in Roanoke, Virginia, I was on a farm and horses were the only people that understood me as so. And I call them people. They they. And this is why for some of the talks for a living, I, I never could understand the dissonance between what someone was saying and what they were doing.
Like, I love you. Right. Right. And it was so confusing. I was like, no, I'm fine. Right.
I grew up in extreme codependents, extreme alcoholism.
The flight attendant made me cry probably why I'm so fucking sniffly.
Oh my God.
No, that's just your allergies and like. Yeah, and thank you. Horses made sense. Like there they. My thing about horses is they set boundaries and get over it. They recover right away. You're so they bite and get over it. You don't hold a grudge. They don't hold a grudge. They forgive him immediately.
Forgive right away. You're so right. And when you respect yourself, they respect to you. It is pretty sensational.
It's like that was my training for life. Yeah. And I was like, thank you for being honest with me. I'm in your space and I shouldn't be there. So thank you for telling me the truth. It's so true. And they're so psychic.
And you're a dog, mom.
And I was always like, I remember going like she's a. Producer. Like mom, maternal mom, octopus, she's one of those.
Well, you and I are I mean, look at our text messages. It's like, what dog are we? Say, OK, go grab that one. OK, I'm out of town. Can you please have your people where we can not talk for a year now and then we'll we'll talk all day.
But that's the proof of a good friendship that you might say my favorite kind of friend. Yes. You pick up right where you every time.
No. Oh, hey, stranger. No. Five. It's OK now.
Can you imagine. I hate can you imagine Gil. Oh, where have you been. Looks like life's been good. I'm on your TV screen. I'm sorry. I do see what you're watching me on TV and you know that takes. No way. What is this? I think we have this in common, although you are way more successful. Why?
Why is there I know the answer, the disrespect of multichannels.
I know it's what we grew up on.
Roseanne, I there is mad about you, Jane. And people look down on it. It is interesting because like with Big Bang, obviously, which was it was a hit.
So many people watched it, but it didn't really get respect. Right.
So we had all accused accused of canned laughter. Yeah. Oh yeah. I had that thing today about this. Someone sent me an article they were ripping on Big Bang. It was. And it was all the way about when I walk, when I get on the plane triggered. Yeah. When I get on a flight.
I always walk up and down the aisle to see what people are watching Big Bang, bang, bang, bang, big time female brain sometimes. Yeah, a lot of a lot of they watch the clock. Hang on laptops. This is not what's provided by Delta.
Totally. Totally. Yeah, it's weird. The laugh, the laugh track thing, which is such a lie. So great.
Videoed the laugh. Yeah. And we never had a laugh track. Yeah. I can't believe people think that that's also not a thing in recent like by the way how my mother had a laugh track. I did not know that. No one can tell you, no one can come for me. No one came for them. Didn't know that actually. Do they not have an actual audience. So they just did laugh track nobody on the block. Shoot, watch everything.
Did you work on the show? No, you just know that I would like a point. Yeah, no, that's amazing. I did not know that. Yeah, we were as old, I guess, as old school as you can get with sitcom.
But why is that? All people hate it. I don't know people like old fashioned. I don't know. Why do we hate. People that love to laugh, I know. No, I mean, not that I go. We're just making you laugh.
But also the new generation of friends is the biggest hit on Netflix. Yes, I know. It's amazing. So for the 12 year olds I know, isn't that unreal?
Because you can cook and have two kids and the kids can watch. Everyone can watch. And they're in a different wardrobe every time. You know, it's not the same episode is that I saw before. And I know this house. You can still keep up. That's right. Now I know. And I love you. And you're my you're my hero. I mean, I was I did an outdoor screening for Thanksgiving and I spent and I was like, what?
You screened? And there were like friends or the big brother.
That's that's that's such a huge compliment. It's I mean, you know, it's really nice, but it is not nice here. No, but there are certain shows that make you just that you can just put on. And it's a sense of relief. I still do that with friends at night. I still do that with Seinfeld. I see her story. I just turned it on like I just if it's comfort food, it's comfort food. I go to bed like I love it.
And I know people do that with Big Bang. It's really sweet. But I, I, I understand that because I grew up with all that stuff and it is sad I get asked a lot. Can you believe that you're probably the last multicam out of the gate.
And I'm like really.
I'm like why. Like why. I don't understand, you know, who made a great multicam Louis C.K..
I mean hot well canceled. Yeah.
Yeah. It was like a sort of I came back and I made Mazatlán. Yes. With Johnny Galecki. That was happening. Do you one the weirdest part. I just spent my afternoon with Johnny Galecki in very weird over Zoome. We did it, we did a thing today for the holidays together, but I was just talking to him like the past, obsessed with him. I know he loves you too. His name is David. OK, yes.
Right. How is Rosie?
I was the whole thing. How was she. Can you imagine. No, not her shooting the show.
I live for it. I live for a I'm a standup up audience. Right. Joke laugh.
Nothing. That's my drug.
I know that's my drug. It doesn't need to be me. I watched Martin was my favorite show growing up. Oh, my God. And Martin, do you remember when, Larry, there was an episode where at the end all the crew jumped out of the window? Can you be a boss and not be hated? I don't think so on the flight attendant. I don't think I was hated at all in the flight.
You're on hateable, but no fucking annoying. By the way, I would know. I have no idea.
You're the most likable fuck. I've seen your Q score. That's what that's a likeability score.
We do testing on television and strangers stop turn a knob in Pensacola, Florida.
I think I learned from Peter Roth. Wright brothers recently been dethroned. I know you really do random better things. Warner Brothers Class Act the best there is, but I think I learned from him it's like tubercle. He was able to go. He was a he he's someone who taught me and has shown. He's the one who can give good news just as bad, just as well as he can get bad news.
So he if you hit this table one more time, he's allowed back of the audio. Is it loud?
And it's it's not I think to the listeners and viewers, really, you can hear that, that you cannot that that's on this set loud. You did that.
OK, I put my I also have Misophonia, which means everything's amplified and I have sinus infection, which means my ears are blocked.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. OK, I just want to say this. I want to get to the flight attendant. I need to get into alcoholism, but. Multichannels are fucking so hard, yeah, and I am so over people disrespecting multicam a multicam is when there's claps and laughs after every joke.
Yeah, multicam is kind of inside baseball.
Seinfeld, Friends. You're learning a new sometimes a new script every day. Yeah, sometimes a totally new script every day. And then on show night, the whole script you memorized is changing, changing the audience.
Yeah, you do. Literally.
You're for a fresh. Version in front of the audience for the first time. Yeah, it's while we have we had a lot of they will rewrite in the midst of it. We had a lot of people with big actors on it on our show, big guest stars. And a lot of them had never done sitcom before. And it was interesting to hear them say how nervous they were and how out of out of there. And we're talking big stars like how out of their element they felt.
It's their timing and it's it's it's a musical note, especially with our cast.
We'd have people come in. I mean, there were people that didn't last past table read so they could not keep up with what we were doing. It was such like, it's such a song.
It's a song and a little. Yeah. And one little thing is off.
And we got obviously we did it together for 12 years, that we had this natural 12 years and now long time older than me. It's crazy. I, older than you know, am I am thirty eight, thirty five, not that much older.
I know that is weird. I am much older than you're always going to me as a baby. No, but when you were a baby, you were you were always 30 to me. Yeah, I agree. You're always thirty three thirty and your sister Bree is always twenty. Agreed. Looking at her that faces the fact that offensive is offensive. Yeah. No, I've always thought of her as super.
Also something I find creepy about you is that you can fall asleep anywhere. I can fall asleep anywhere. I could lay down right next to your dog and fall asleep. I think there's some I think you have mono.
I think I've had it for my whole life. Teege chronic fatigue. But I'm not tired. But if I, if I, I can I think that means more like with sound and stuff like if I'm in I could if I was tired I would go right to sleep. But is that because you've been on sets your whole life.
I maybe yeah. And I don't care. I'm like got to go to tape where I can get it every I'm always.
And then when you wake up your yet while you're, you're almost a cat person.
Yeah. I'm saying that I feel like Oh my yeah.
No I can I, I'm, it's sort of right back in and I didn't miss a beat.
Ever have so many things on this word document on my computer. What does that mean. Why do you have a word Doc. The flight attendant. I this is why I wrote it is so well thought out.
Oh so well that is the biggest compliment I can give. Anything is a nice compliment.
Sorkin meets Breaking Bad, meets the staircase. Oh I like that.
Meets Chir, oh, no, the only shows that I binged as hard as yours and as ADIC d yeah. Is was the staircase loved Chir in the Valley. Wow I loved all of those.
And then I wrote, You're only as sick as the secrets you keep. When did helping anyone help anyone? Wow, everyone everyone's always laughing, huh? I am my father's daughter. Wow, these are intense episodes. That's what we do. I'm up I'm I'm ahead of your head. Yeah, because I did.
You see, I last night when I was texting you, my computer died and my charger I was at in a room where the charger I didn't have an extension cord.
Yeah. And I was lying on the floor. I was lying on the floor. I was lying on the floor like the poster of your movie, of your show. And I was watching it with where we are charged.
The fact that we still have to do that is hilarious.
I find myself in those positions I was in like a full downward dog, like we are reverse warrior trying to remember we went to hot yoga together. Oh, my God, I miss it. Say he kills it.
I miss it so much. Do you think we'll ever go back?
I don't know. The Bikram yoga documentary kind of bummed me out.
Yeah, but yeah. Just core power in general. It's just. It's just so.
I think I just mean a class and rigmarole. I miss the class. I miss the class. I miss the spin class. Oh, yeah. I miss I miss you, too.
I miss the sisterhood and the people. I'm so fucking competitive. So you want to like, OK, yeah. I need to need someone to fucking be jealous of. I got it, I got that, yeah, no, I missed the class, I never thought I would miss these classes, but I really took them for granted.
How did you. Luckily, we have Ryan. We have our trainer.
We have our trainer, you know, share a trainer, which is I never want to say that I have a trainer because it's so elitist.
No, but you'd have to, right? We have to. He's not. But he's not. It's not that way. He's the best. No, it's not weird. I can't like I can't not. I know he's.
So what when you read this flight attendant's report.
Yes. Your brain just exploded. So I found the book three years ago. Oh, I didn't know. You didn't know that. I optioned the book myself three years ago, which.
Yeah, that's how this happened. Don't hit the table. It really annoys the fans.
So I found the body. Did I get a clap? That was it. Applause She just got an applause. Welcome from my producer. I've never seen it. He is epic.
I think Jay-Z claps too. It was weird. She farted, removed her legs. I found the book three years ago and I said this. This could be a show. No.
Yeah. Yeah, and then I spent six months optioning it, and the footage is a logistical hell, the number of emails. Oh, my God, twenty thousand a lot. Yeah, well, the first thing I asked was I remember calling my attorney. The first conversation I had was like, I found this book. Can you check with Reese Witherspoon?
Got the rights to the book. That's that's what my emails open up. Every email says that she's on it. She's on it. She really beat you to it. It's brilliant. They're like, no, she's not even the book. I hadn't even been released yet. It has been weeks before it was supposed to be released. I found it online and I had this weird feeling and I just like it was weird. The cover, the book, this blonde woman, it all just kind of looked I don't know.
I can't explain. It was gut feeling. And we spent six months getting the rights.
The show was already starting in my brain. In your brain. Like it was like Cassie was already.
Well, I just thought this would be a great the book was obviously super fun, but it was her that was I thought, oh, this is my next thing because no one's going to ever hire me. Let me do this. I'm going to have to do it. No one's going to hire you because you have the stink of multicam become a little bit. I think it's hard also. But why doesn't Melissa McCarthy have it after doing my Comolli?
I don't know, because it wasn't as big a show as Big Bang. I don't know, Big Bang was very specific, very specific.
It's like it's you you're one of the only straight man to which was. Are you one of the only what people that has gotten so famous on a multicam and been able to. I forgot you were Calexico in the flight attendant.
That's the best compliment I could ever hear. And I had friends say that to me, and that is what really got me in my heart. So thank you. Bye a lot. I know you as a person for 20 years. Yes. Watch Big Bang Theory Seina. Yes, we do stand up for Pitts' every year. Comedy shows together for penpals. Amazing. And I was engrossed. That means a lot in the vet that I'm sleeping with.
I mean, hey, great.
You sleep with a vet. Great critical care vet. That's fantastic. That's going to be so helpful. I'm feeling situation. I'm nailing covid.
You are. You're doing it right now.
You're getting a lot done. I'm getting a lot done. You have a sleeping with a vet who could help with all the animals. Don't trust me. Trust really. And I watched an episode two episodes last night without him and he. Was furious, oh, he wanted to watch me furious. Oh, my, I, I. It's awesome. I, like, broke the the code. Yeah. It's like you cheated of ethics. And what is that?
You cheated. I cheated with someone who looks exactly like you. Yeah. No, I get it, Karl, and I have that, too, we have our shows and it's like we can't watch it without the other one. I can't believe you made this show. I can't believe I did. It looks so hard, so hard. As someone that has run shows, I was like, can the line producer get a bonus? Isn't it crazy?
I was like, can the DP like I have to tell you, I've become way less judgmental on everything in the sense of what I watch other actors. I mean, look, we all do it right. We watch something else. I hated that show. I hated the why did they hire that broke my heart. I, I just have an understanding now that I didn't have before. You know, I lived in actor Land Head in the Sand a little bit.
I also think actors are great producers. If they're like you and their horse and animal people because they know actors stand, there's an empathy. Actors are treated like children.
Yeah, OK, Drew, you stand here.
Can you see the line? Yeah, but the actor like the actors like, OK, no, this could just be this is the behavior we should do and you know what I mean.
Yes. And they the writers and the actors hate each other.
Well there can be that for sure. I think luckily on this we had such a since it was such my voice and we laughed it maybe because it was called flight attendant. I was always circling the airport when I was. Oh, yeah, no, I think on multicam sort of circling the air when the actress is a producer.
When I did a show with my name on it, which everyone loved. Yes.
I loved it too would go into.
I was twenty seven, ten years ago. Are you. That's blowing my mind right now. That's what we do here. That's really wild. That's amazing. We do her. Wow God times fly.
I know, but it's been slogging a little antonieta. Well that for you know but wow.
And so I would be the actress in the run through.
We do put on these little plays for the writers and producers and then we go into the writers room and they'd be like, oh goodness, you're like the actresses here.
You can't unsuccess yourself. That's interesting. It's why you'll it's really interesting. I have no respect. Like, it's it's so they they're like we're marionette doll operators in Europe.
So you felt like you couldn't be that they were you would they wouldn't see you separated. They wouldn't see you as the producers are just seeing you as the actor.
I was also twenty seven so like no but still and I had too many jobs and I didn't know how to delegate and I didn't know how to be direct.
You know what, the word delegate is really interesting because some people do have a hard time doing that. You're, you know, I delegate to competent people, OK, yes. But that's the huge part of it is the team. And I want to do their jobs they want and they want to do them well. And there's a reason why you hired them and it's let them do it. But what color should oppose me? What do you think?
Right. It's your right orange. Great, agree exactly. Hire the best person and let them do their job. Let's leave them alone. Exactly. No, it's so true. It really is so true. And people have a really hard time with that.
You've got to let them do their job because the TV set becomes everyone regrets their childhood circumstances for sure. I can never say no for sure without stuttering. That absolutely makes sense.
So what how many countries do you go to?
So we were in Thailand and we were in Rome and the rest was shot New York and we were there right before. It was really wild. The fact literally exactly a year ago we were in Thailand, in Bangkok, and then we shot in Rome in the end of January. And then we went back to New York and that's when we got shut down in March, like everybody else. But the fact that we we went out of order. So we shot the finale in January, which we weren't going to do.
We're going to Rome at the end, which would have been in May, which would have never happened. And I probably wouldn't have a show because a lot of stuff took place in Rome. So we're like, it's crazy. Do the we talk with them all the time because they're so easy and convenient intellectualism, holding them up if you're not watching on You Tube, OT's Raspberry, blueberry, dragon fruit and mulberry.
I mean, they deliver these to your house. It's like this ready to go.
But where would I get a dragonfruit on my own or a mulberry. I wouldn't even know where to go. Mulberries or delicious by the mall. The muling barn now by the laboratory there.
Countries where where we don't usually buy ponds is where our sugru when I grew up, mulberry mulberry wine or mulberry wine strawberry with different like thank you daily harvest for just putting all the things that my body needs.
It's ready to go healthy food they deliver right to your house. I'm just saying what you put in your body yet.
And there's no preservatives, there's no added sugar, there's no artificial ingredients. The ingredients are all right there on the back. Super clean and simple, he says to be me.
Why does your brain work so fast? I'm like, what are you eating like? I just feel like a slog. I'm like, well, why did you just eat that trash candy cane in the car?
A slog. I'm adding that to my vocabulary. Yes.
Log now, like I use that word, like a slutty slow, like, eat, eat this so your brain works faster and better. What is the confusion?
Yeah. I mean, the food's delicious. I love the little bites. You know that. What, you ate them all. I know. I know. But I love those little bites.
But they also have like soups. They have like four meals. I mean, there's not just smoothies. It's just that I'm so busy in on the go.
But I mean, I love the the bites, the the the coffee. And and if they are those bites, I love those. Those are my favorite. But it's easy.
There's no clean up. There's no like like no look there's you put a all right in here.
My whole day will be ruined by seeing a dirty bomb in the city and I'm like, do I clean it? I put in the dishwasher. Whose is that? Like you just usually reuse it.
So yeah, I just love that this is like I bring it to work, put it in the fridge, I bring it, you bring it to work, you bring this to your house, you just take it out of the fridge and you're already there.
We are working from home, let's be honest, but you can bring this to work, write your name on it in the employee of the breakroom. Yeah.
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So I'm going to say something that's going to get me in trouble, which is that the lover I've taken on, we went on, we went off, it went on.
He dated someone else when it goes on and I'll never get over it. I walked in on him yesterday shaving his chest with a razor.
Yes, big dreams of becoming a brilliant, yucky, yucky, yucky. OK, so now I'm going to have a rug burn on my boobs that I paid good money for because you used it because you want to be a small, hairless woman.
You you want to be a hairless cat.
Because you want to be a naked mole round and then you have like he's got like red bumps on his chest from shaving against the grain.
That's testosterone trying to leave his body and then the balls have red bulb some like as if that is nothing different.
OK, I mean I'm saying what am I what what what am I supposed to do when I see that man manscape?
I'm in San Diego manscape. I kind of want to get it for all the people that I work with. But is it awkward for me to buy manscape products for.
It would be weird to give your employees like somebody to shave their balls. Wilkenson It's not part of their you know, this isn't porn.
Yeah, but I think it's a great thing to get your brothers whose balls you have to see, like your brothers, make sure you get for them your boyfriend, your husband, your friends, your preacher, your pastor, your neighbor, the weed whacker, which we were arguing about earlier, the weed.
Now, this this is where you got confused, the weed whacker, nose and hair and your trimmer nose, hair and ear. I had to trim my lover's nose the other night with my cuticle clippers because I left my man escaped weed whacker at frickin the other house.
The amount of grooming you're doing on your lover makes it sound like you're both.
I don't want to add something at freaking nose. Hair is coming out of your hair or your nose while we're having sex or making out. It's gross that it's not on that.
I think your eyes are open when you're making out staring directly at the night.
Yeah, no, I when I have sex, my eyes are open and I am when I have sex, I'm ready to judge people. I believe visits to pop. I love that. I'm like feeling the back just to see if there is.
And I have some notes and all of it about your appearance. Get 20 percent off plus free shipping at Manscape Dotcom Suwanee Manscape is my new best friend.
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I mean if you, if you're half of the population of the universe you need manscape and if you're the other half you need to buy it for the man as a gift because men don't think to do it. Man that's your that's the men's problem.
You guys want to get like you guys use like.
What's it called, comet comet powder to clean your comment powder. Wow, you have had some lovers, little springs, which is now dating Mario.
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And so will your girlfriend. Inside piece and wife. What about the hunting? What do you mean, like did you what was that in the book? The Hunt. Oh, the childhood stuff. Yes, yes, the the yes.
I'm spoiled oil. No, no, no. That's not soil that comes up a lot. Yes. There's a lot of that will come. There's a big trauma that happened to her that she just has been running, running from her whole life. And a lot of that with the lot with her dad.
It's my story along with her dad. Wow. Did you connect as far as that kind of kind of connecting to what she went through or like understanding it like I think we all have a childhood trauma that was by accident or parents. I'm a radically forgive your parents person. Yeah, they did the best they could with the tools they had. And we are, by design, critical of them, as we should be.
And we forget they're real and will and we love to blame them. I'd love to blame them. And our kids are going to be fucked up because we're going to be on our phones all the time.
Yeah, I take those pictures of them in videos and they're going to. Why are you ignoring me for that screen while I'm taking video of you?
OK, I was really lucky growing up. I had I really had such great parents were really fucking great man. Lucky. I was really lucky. So I but even through this whole process, you know, coming from sitcom world and making people laugh and I'm not really I don't know about you as an actor, but I'm not a preparer. I don't know if you are prepared.
Interesting, because, yeah, I saw a couple. I saw wow, bitch.
OK, so I saw a couple of photos of you in Soza. Oh Zosia.
Yes Doshisha. Yeah. Xie xie xie is a and she amazing. Don't you just love her. I want to eat her. I'm going to take somebody to make you love her even more. No don't. That already.
She's a horse girl that I know and a dog girl she is.
Yeah she's one of us and she's her acting is impeccable. Yeah. And she you posted a picture of like you and her like on Saturn. I was like, aren't they learning their lines?
Right. It was fun on set. Like because I'm in the corner.
Just really go over your dialogue. I'm going over well I'm usually writing it, rewriting or something which I, I would love to not do. That's hard.
I remember Abigail Spencer said something to me that blew my mind was because we used to run auditions together. Wow. I remember running an audition for Riki Lindhome for the role of Penny on the Big Bang Theory.
This is so, this is so well Ricky ended up being on the show. She guested on the show later. Oh my God. Yeah. She played a hilarious role in middle of our set of our series.
We got my outside Thanksgiving.
Oh I love Ricki Lake. I she's two years older than you, Fred. She's amazing.
Knew me when I was poor and crazy. Oh, my God, she's so funny.
And yeah, I would run auditions and Abigail Spencer, I was like, OK, do you want to run it at 10 a.m. and then run it, come back how many times you want to run it. Like four or five times.
And she's like everyone's process is totally different. I mean, yeah, when I came in all of us were naturally gifted. Well it's a weird thing because when I came in a flight attendant and I have told the story a little bit, but I'll try it again. Susanna Fogel directed one and two and we had a lot of talks.
And as the script started forming, I started reading scripts going, oh, shit, like Susanna, do I need to do something?
You talk Aaron Sorkin Pace Gilmore Girls page. Yes.
And that's how I wanted this show to be. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Blash she don't stop, stop, stop now. And I said to her, I was like, do I need to change? How what do I do? Like do I need an acting coach? Do I need to start thinking of memorizing.
I literally was like, how is she memorizing all this?
Yes. And she said to me, she goes, How long have you been doing this?
And your hair is up. Your hair is down. I'm like, Yeah, no, I know, I know. I did a total. I know. And I don't even know it's happening. I'm just thinking about the hairstylist having to look through the binder. Oh, my God. Oh, totally. By the way, thankfully, your makeup was pretty consistent.
Well, it's hard to do, especially when you have seven months off and have to match the last scene that you did seven months ago, the funeral episode.
I was like, she's wearing more. I see. So anyway, my point is that continuity supervisor Emmy.
Yeah. And it's hard to do artist. I'm also crazy with continuity and I know exactly where everything is all the time. Very weird. I know it's in. I'll literally see other people.
I'm like, your necklace was over. Trust me, that girl is over here. Union violation. Yeah. You're moving.
I know. I know. I know.
Trust me, I know all the rules and I am like the continuity.
It's a thing you and I can't stand. I can't stand. When you're doing a scene, say my hair is in front of my ears and then we cut here and at some point someone to ear.
And that makes me there's a great episode of House where Sela Ward is talking to someone.
Yeah. On the phone. Yeah.
And she's got a pen in her hair now and then they cut away and then she doesn't have a bed in her hair and then she some and I was just like, oh that makes you know that Will Ferrell did a whole movie with continuity jokes which where it was as I watch it tonight.
That is genius. It's amazing. That is genius. It's called Casa de mi Padre.
Oh, my God. I did hear about this. And he said, you're going to die.
I will die, have a glass of peno, I will die. And it cuts to him.
He's drinking like a margarita because someone else he's got I got of wine and someone else said, it is so funny. That is. And he speaks Spanish in the Lavone.
Did you have any. Guilt or shame or codependents come up around being a boss. It's now because you've been an actress and you know that people just want clarity, they want exactly. I want them, right? Exactly. I don't know what I want. That is, why are you acting for 20 years? Has been a fucking. Yes. I don't dance around anything very clear in my vision. No one thinks you're a bitch. No, they don't, because you're a bitch if you go.
Yeah, no, I like that. No, no, I love that.
And then change it. I absolutely that's what I did on my whole NBC series because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
Wow. So interesting. I didn't know. No, that makes of course.
Of course. I was like, oh my God, that's so good. Yeah. And then you're like and then I would go, oh, I have a price tag on me.
I, I told you that like ten times.
I think she wanted to return it and now the little. Yeah. Oh the thing.
I hate the thing, the thing is the worst flowers in there, I hate it the worse you pull it from like a pillow. I just killed a turtle.
Oh God. You're keeping that sweater. You're not returning anything. I feel like you need it. I love it. I know. I know where you need it. We all do. Now I know where it's from. I can see it sticking out.
You got a nice job. That couldn't have been easy. This is literally me in a nutshell. My biggest pet peeve is when you open socks and then the one gets stuck in there. And I am trying to get into the one sock with the one tiny little monkey. Why?
How about a price tag on a picture frame? Worst thing it ruins on a picture frame, an ornament or that too. How about how would a price tag on an ornament? Oh, yes. Yes, but why? I have to cut it. Why on the picture frames, on the glass, put it on the line. I can't. You can't. No more T.J..
Max picture frames, put it on the stand. Not Loman's has good picture frames and they put 30. It's I don't understand. It's my bruyn's my whole holiday coffee mugs underneath. I'm like ruins the whole holiday it sticker off.
It makes me crazy. Put a little. I don't understand. How are you such a good actress in the show.
I kind of feel like it's like one Dan Levy from Schitt's Creek was on, oh, I love him. I talked about it.
I was like, Oh, your state in the show was your state as the show runner, anxious and like you were.
And I kind of was like, oh, maybe it was helpful that she was so frazzled and overwhelmed because the character was frazzled and overwhelmed, like, get that help again.
At least I wasn't the show runner. I think what was really funny, there were moments where I'm OK, you called me an octopus, which is so funny. I feel like I actually am. I'm a good compartmentalizing, which some people can or they have to focus on one thing. And but I, I kind of look at myself as an Advent calendar. I really do all those little boxes. Right. And I kind of close and open them and I can literally be in this hysterical scene.
Then the next minute we cut and I'm like on my phone looking at casting videos or YouTube or like but playing words with friends with whoever is that you can multitask like a bee.
Like a bee. Yes, 100 percent. And not even think twice. It's a really it's also a detriment. It's a it's a great gift that I've been given for work because I can boom, boom, boom. I can also I've been called scissors, I'm called scissors and cut it out. Boom. No conversation, no ego.
No you have no. No, not at all. No.
And that's some fucking animal person shit. Oh I agree because that's horse no ego. You can't have a cat. That's my food. That's my grass. Do it. That's my bone. And then we're over it. Yes. By the way, no grudges moved on. No resentments.
You don't hold your to be obscure but just move on. You might be a secure attachment strategy.
I maybe is everybody an addict but some of us just have healthy addictions. This is my obsession. So I come from a long line of extreme alcoholism.
And we always say for alcoholism to be present, alcohol doesn't have to be present. Right. It's cooking.
It's working out right. It's gambling. It's stealing. It's sex. It's gifting. Right. That's my thing.
Yeah. Yeah. True love language. That's my love language. Yes. Yeah. For someone. But if it's also the other person's love language, I don't, I don't like receiving them because then I have to act and perform and I'm not going to receive it good enough. I know what you mean. Overwhelmed. I got it. Just you take it. Let me give it to you. I'm going to give this to someone else. Right.
Let's be honest. And I think and then there's active addiction, cocaine, heroin, sex, all the bad stuff. I believe that I got some really good addictions work. Um. Control control is a very intense addiction, perfectionism. You know, it's tough on adrenaline, do you mean control isn't you have control or you are controlling? I'm in a 12 step program to work on it, on controlling, being controlling, OK?
Being controlling is hard and it's like might be a dollop of OCD. Yeah. You know. All right. Which has served me well. That's the thing.
It's some of these things serve you so well and then they're detrimental in other areas. I cried last night because of there's a scene where you secretly give your niece's presents.
That is Mike. Yeah, yeah, that is my I have been in that scene, I have lived that scene.
Well, the secrets we are only as sick is the secrets we keep.
And your character is just all like. How it just was like and I have so much pathological lying in my family and so much like, we're all just pretending that the very flight attendant is that big smile on and you're just.
Yeah, yeah. It all looks good. It's exhausting. Yeah.
Yeah. Telling a lie. Your whole life. Mm hmm, and find yourself, you're the shame, the shame, the exhaustion, drinking poison, waiting for the other person to die. Oh, totally. Completely. Yeah, this was it was interesting kind of playing that, because also she's a complete, as we all know, functioning alcoholic.
So it's like highly functioning, highly well known people like that highly functioning alcoholics, not only with alcohol, Francoism, codependents is an addiction.
The lying organizing.
Yeah, it's like cooking is a big one. Right. Wow. I mean, I have relatives that when I did my first step and Elena, my like, you have to do like your tree of resentments or whatever, and you do all your family tree. And it was like, who was the cook in the family who cooks for four days?
Boom, boom, boom, doesn't eat and then serves everybody.
Everything's got to be perfect. And then there are tyrants.
And then you didn't eat enough and you take this home and she left her leftovers.
Oh, God. You know, it's really like heart strings pulling.
It's intense. It's intense when you see it and you're like, oh my God, do you have siblings?
You didn't finish your turkey. She didn't finish your turkey. I really thought that was so well, acting really well.
I imagine it was like Turkey got really worried. That was why it was very good. It was very good. The turkey waitress. I was the waitress. Yeah.
We go one line tryptophan reminds me of do you remember the Friends episode when Phoebe played an extra in Joey's sidewalk crying in the hospital? She just had to walk across and she couldn't do it and everything was shaking. She just and she would just walk cross and they were like, just walk across.
She could not do it. Oh, God. Oh, my God. So, not so relevant like that show. Just like you said, 12 year olds. It's their favorite show. And I know we're circling back, but it shows how good that pivot. Nothing better.
Now, by the way, I just want to target because every other day I go to Target and its friends shirts.
Oh, isn't that unreal? And Urban Outfitters isn't that unblessed. And I always send it to Lisa, Kudrow and Courtney and I'm like, what are you guys paid on this?
It's like forever. It's just it's classic, classic, good, happy classic. And I think we want nostalgia now more than ever. Yes, I agree with that.
Sorry I cut you off. No, you did not even know what I was saying. Why do you worry about Turkey? OK, then I'll cut you off. Why did people you're like a click bait.
I know it's weird because I'm so not like that, but like people will rehash some shit that was never news and it's like Caylee, everything that's the record straight, which even on something that never happened, I'm like, I didn't even know that this happened.
They probably didn't. I don't know why I'm such a very click Baity. I know. And I, I but it doesn't harm you at all. No, I laugh at a lot of it.
I mean, half the stuff I'm that's why I get everything. And I'm not a person that I'm not afraid to say things and do I need you. But I can't win. I think I text you that the other night so I can't. You won. I but I can't.
I have I have news for you but I was up. I have no matter what I is, I won in certain things. But I swear to God man like does it matter what I say or do. They're just but they don't care. No I know and I don't either. And your fans don't see that. No. And if anything, it's like, oh OK. Yeah, I know it helps.
Like I remember there was an article that said you were like, I don't identify as a feminist. Oh, what a nightmare. Well, first, by the way, first of all, I don't let's be honest. That was because that word has been so defiled. That was so of course, I laugh because that was about seven years ago and it was taken so out of. But by the way, also. Why is that ahead, like what are we doing now?
Why did you why why was this such a big deal?
Also, it's weird because if you look at my life, I actually am the definition of a feminist, because, by the way, that I I was I was called when I was doing an NBC sitcom with half the writers room women about a woman that didn't want to get married and the dad role reversal, doing two broke girls, two girls starting a business that had no Metronet female showrunner on my show.
I was called sexist.
I was just even laughing because it's like the OP. You're the it would be the opposite of that. Like, that's how I felt like go look at my life. I'm the I am. I'm not by the way, I'm not chanting ship. I am the look at my own career, my own life and my own this.
And like I take your robe and it's the Roman Coliseum. It goes back to Italy always.
And it is we used to pay money, human beings to watch humans get torn apart.
Yes. By slowly and stopped over by elephants.
We used to go to hangings in the towns where we love to publicly humiliate people. It's unbelievable.
Sick, you know, it is sick.
Ernest. Earnestly want to talk about it. I earnestly thank God I went to college, I know what Earnest means. Thank God I went to college so I can have student debt. It is the highlight of my life personally and I never want to be able to have a credit score on anything.
So honestly, college where my credit score is low wages is not low. I'm saying that really.
Why would you have it? You have to have a lot of lines of credit to have a really super crazy credit.
We just I was just my credit score was just revealed to me and they were like, hey, could be better, but why would they get it from all the student loans?
It's from it's all those it's definitely it's fault.
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The I don't that makes me disassociates that they have a great customer rating. Yes. Which is nine point four out of ten impress the Internet likes them.
The Internet doesn't make anybody. Yeah, but they like Earnest's when you checked. You know why. No, because they're saving them money. Can you stop hitting the table that this is hitting. You have we have a weird definition of that other.
And then the fact that it doesn't screw up your credit when you check it. Because they will trick you sometimes when you want to go to look at your credit and they're like, well, I'll buy. Being so fucking nosy nosy is you're allowed to curse.
I don't know if we are, actually. Yeah, we are. We are. It's my house. You're my house.
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Turn the conditions apply to the. Look, OK, I or if you're not visual, listen, I had to move into I had to rent a different new place because my sinus infection from the dust in my house and the first thing I packed up was this bandana.
The listeners don't know what we're going to do. They also can't look, they don't want to buy Berkland.
And she's trying not only to schipperke them, but she told the owner that she's renting from multiple times. I'm bringing my own Brooklyn and she I'm going to bring my own because I don't know what kind of shit I'm going to bring my. You can take your you can take your shit. I'm going to bring my take cheese Italian.
She said you can take these whatever this rigamarole Michigan. I was like, these are my sheets. There's something about Brooklyn and she's I like what I get into a bed.
I want to feel like slightly.
Me, too, but that makes it, yeah, force like it gets better, though, not only did you tell her up until the day she left, but then texted her a couple of days later when I brought my sheets, just so you know, I really wanted this woman to another picture because I had about Brooklyn and she had I have a Brooklyn quilt on top of it and I showed her the quilt.
And then I have a quilt. I have a crappy quilt that I put on top of my Brooklyn and quilt so the dogs can lay on it.
But my quilt. Yeah. I mean, they have tons of colors pattern. I'm serious about my Kotsay so serious. You can buy sheets, bedding, pillows and towels and all kinds of the towels are bananas and they're phenomenal.
The great ones I have not white, not white because they were sold out. That's what I yeah.
I'm pretty sure is when you fall. So I got ivory raclette it like this is the gifts.
Oh it's a great guess is it. Don't get the gas to spend money on the mugs.
You're a unicorn. Don't talk to me. Grab my coffee mug. That is a gag gift. It is. No one wants it. It makes you're the worst person at work. Just get people sheets or a gift card.
I don't even know if that's part of the ad, but if someone gave you a booklet, a gift card, I'd be stoked.
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Was Amanda Knox in the book? Yes, that conversation was yeah, yeah, well, I know. I think she's guilty. No, you know, I actually don't think that I don't agree. I watch a lot of stuff and I actually find her really fascinating. I don't think from what I've seen, I don't think she is. Good girl.
Yeah, and she's gorgeous, by the way. It just was all not a good she was, you say wrong place, wrong time. But, you know, and.
Yeah. And she was sexual. Yeah.
All the things that by the way, the things that make TV so fascinating that that's what they're like zooming in on. I mean why do you watch Dateline.
It's like. Right. Is the sky blue. I know.
OK, no I don't know. You don't. You don't. I thought oh you don't know abscessed. When I hear of like a like I watch all that you listen to my favorite murder. Is that a podcast. I would probably love it. Yeah. No, OK, we watch, we do all the Dateline stuff. So I'm all we're always trying to get the oldest person.
I know. I know. I love it. I know she like naps at two p.m.. I do. And I like grape nuts. Good luck. Grape nuts.
Just like an old Chihuahua. Do they dump big truck dump truck.
I was going to bring him today because he's become a whiner. So he's got just loves you too. That's what it is. Codependents that I just learned that you're the one.
Do you think your teeth factor into your success is so funny. You mention my teeth because I have and my teeth are so weird and I've been wearing retainers for the last year, like Invisalign tweaking them. No, no. An actual retainer that I put in when I feel like it. But don't change a thing.
No, I'm not going to. But they're they're a big part. They are. I know. And I have to be careful because I don't know. It's really an interesting. I know I can't fix them too much. Don't fix them. I'm not I'm just I'm keeping them where they are. I want them to go crazier. Yes, they are somewhere.
They are. They're a thing. Keep them, Kirky. They're they're. I know. So I'm keeping them. But it's it's huge.
People love your face.
Is Lori as shit Labrinth of like I can't you have the perfect face because so in saying your your face I now look at your eyes with blue hair and I know how are you able to keep doing it to drive.
To ask you. I have.
Well I, I originally did it because all the people that are makeup artists, hair stylist, all these people aren't making any money. So you really for eight months. For eight months. So sad. It's horrible. It makes me wonder.
So I was like I said randoms. I said get like honestly. Like what? How can I play? And I said, what's the most expensive thing you could do? Oh, my God, you're so please come over and I'll give you a cover test and then you're quarantine and you'll come and wear masks and just in there like bleaching. So I'm not really know literally the least I can do, but it's so cool. And then that I it kind of it really I don't understand.
It's never too late to have the childhood. You never I frickin love it. Like I'm just like I'm doing my nineties over again. It's amazing, you know, like can't I have so many interesting questions for you.
Oh yes. I love my I love my questions. Right. By the way, crooked tooth.
Crooked tooth there is written on my lips right there. What am I not allowed to ask you about.
That's a choking on this.
I'm not really kind of an open book. I feel like a lot of people know you kind of know who I am. Yeah. Your first marriage. There's not. Yeah, my first. No, that's not off limits. I mean, no, I because your first marriage, when I was watching the flight attendant, I was like, you're not the person. You said I was like, no.
Was that cathartic at all. Yes, for sure. I was like, yes, completely. And then finding out later, yeah, yeah. That was quite a dress. I know it was a great wedding, just such a great wedding.
You know, we had actually that wedding was on New Year's Eve. So I feel like at least we had this like, amazing New Year's Eve party. Yeah. Because we surprised everyone and got married. Yeah. My first marriage. So funny. Yeah I know.
Yeah. That was you know, I was I hate to say I was young because I was but I don't all done it. You know, we've all I know we all just sometimes don't see it until you're out and it's it sucks.
It's when you're in it and I'm sure everyone around you saw it and there's nothing you can do now. And I see it with my friends and I'm like, I got to let them do it.
I know you hear that from from friends or family. You go you've got to live it. And I'm just like, it's really true. This is you're not going to listen to anybody. No, not that you got to let stay in your lane, give them the dignity of their own experience. Let them learn the lesson. Yeah, and they do. And when has anyone ever said this is a good decision with this guy? And the person was like, you're right.
My God. Yeah, I'm going to go. Oh, my God. What thing here? Whoa, Nellie never happened, I know. Got to let him do it, and now you show up, you can set boundaries, you can set boundaries for yourself because marriages are for you.
Not that you can say if they continue to make that mistake, if they're complaining about it, it's like we just not talk about this or.
Right, just don't return the text like you, you can just let them navigate it. Well, I mean, what all my friends saw happen in my twenties, the people that stuck with me, it was like seeing a couple of years.
It was like, I'm back. Lizzy Caplan, bless her heart. You have so many good friends, I have a girlfriend, I've worked so hard at it because I had trouble with women for so long. Really? Yes. What do you mean by that?
I grew up in an alcoholic home where women like competitive. There's a lot of. Yes, narcissism which is walking on eggshells.
You're so borderline personality disorder, which is like you're so sensitive that I need to take care of your feelings and make myself smaller and anticipate your needs at all times.
And women are sensitive and irrational and scary. Jealous. And they're just really. Yes, that's as well for so support as well. And when you have abuse from someone else in the family or someone else, a lot of times your brain. We're embryonic Brade blames the person that didn't help. Wow. Which is a weird one.
Wow, you knew about this, which you probably didn't know about it.
Oh, but so have. It's so it's just interesting. Oh, it is. You just had a terrible examples of how great women can be and like you missed out on this friendship. So now you're and I was like a fixer and rescuer.
I was like, let me martyr myself for you. Right. Kind of person. So like, yeah, I have some amazing. You really do. Yeah. So what I've seen, you've got great girls.
I don't know anyone that doesn't like you. So sweet. Out of nowhere.
It's so weird. Thank you. Like no like I can talk to you about anyone I guess and I will we can't, we won't talk shit about me because we're just it's you got the animal thing.
I know. But there's nothing that I can't get you on anything.
Thank you. Like I'm the first person to go like, hey, I didn't love that exchange at that party.
Like with Olivia, Monroe was like, I feel like I've seen you in a couple of parties and you guys are friends, we are now.
But when she came on, I was just like, I have some I have some things to unpack. What happened there?
Did she did. She was just like, should she have any clue or did she know she was twenty five. I was twenty five. We were twenty five.
So funny. And I was like I used to fight with my boyfriend about you.
Because you were like looking at it, OK? That is hilarious. And I needed an apology that she's like, why? She feels like I need it. I just drive that 20 minutes to be held up for something I didn't do well for the driver.
That is funny.
Yeah. Oh, I mean, we all there's so much of. But you've I feel like since you were so successful, so young, like there was probably no scarcity complex for you.
You know, it's weird. I was talking to actually I was talking to unifiers about this and we had an interesting conversation because how she became very famous very fast with she first auditioned for Scary Movie and was boom in it. I it was she's like, how did you how do you deal with that fact that I'm like, but I was I was different for me. I kind of grew up with it like, yeah, I wasn't famous young that I kind of worked.
You would just kind of got bigger and then big being kind of bigger and like it all grew with me. Yeah.
There wasn't a moment where I was like, whoa, you're working all the time and you're and you got famous before you could kind of Google yourself.
There wasn't a lot of that. We had our phones, but it wasn't like it is now and it was just different. And it but it was a slow burn, like I still feel like it is. And you're right. And I was always working and I didn't it was almost like I missed like I didn't notice it wasn't some boom. Like all of a sudden, you know, Big Bang was even a slow burn.
It was all kind of like all of a sudden I was OK. Somethin's, you know, it's different now.
Do you and your husband ever want to talk about now? We talk a lot. Now, how did you know I mean, I think I know how, you know, but I'm fascinated. It's really hard to meet a horse guy. And so it's really, really hard.
It's like you got him. I got it. And you got the one. Just not only does is he younger than you were. I think that already. Yeah. While she's five years younger, wild, but so much older than you.
Oh, like light years. Like whiskey. Yeah. Light years. And that meets him is like burned the oldest hole. Yeah. Yeah. He cooks everything. He grows up, doesn't know who I am. I was like hey nice to meet you. And he was like what's your name. No clue. He didn't who I was I did you see what he made me for my birthday.
Only you would appreciate it when you see I put on my Instagram. No, I was looking at your Instagram last night and I have he's made you'll be the one person that will understand this, you and Zosia. He made me a mountain bloc that goes from here to there with wood that he recycled wood that he has saved, made with his hands and put all my horses horseshoes. OK, OK. I did all right in the top. Are you crying?
Oh, no. Yeah. Hello. That was the gift.
I know how much I loved you, sweetie.
What are you going to share?
I do feel like something's going to bad's gonna happen to you because so many good things about.
Thank you. I was worried. You're probably I guess you get your fill with dogs.
I do, because we break our own hearts with dogs every second of the day.
I just how I cry on camera. I love it. I swear all I do is think of something that's crushed me about an animal right now. I know thinking about I do think of I.
I know. See you. Do I look at my my dogs since the moment I got them.
I just seem like you're going to die in ten years. Yeah I know. We can't even enjoy them. No. We're thinking I hate on. Yeah. Literally. Why are you doing. I'm cutting. Why are you doing this to me. Why do you hate me. You're going to die. It's home. Why would you leave us. I you know I do it to myself too. We were hoping so for our wedding. We got married two years ago.
I was like crying months before the wedding, hoping Norman would make it to our wedding.
The girls like he's. What is wrong with you, by the way? He's still alive and fine, but I was so concerned he wouldn't make it to our wedding. We went on. I would for sure. I went to this wedding. Yeah. The fact that I was invited for the fact that you invited this girl.
Do we get along? When we were you were seventeen and I was twenty. So I don't remember anything bad. I remember no. I remember being like I don't think she likes that. I'm working with her boyfriend.
What I projected.
Do you one hundred percent rejection Mashad because you were like pretty and blond and successful and like sitting in the corner, probably just like wanted to go home.
Where were we? We were at a I want to say, like Jones on third.
Oh, oh, you're probably right. Well, I was like there for your writing session. No, don't you. We were at somewhere doing karaoke with a gold.
I remember Willie Mercer, Jeremy Gerlach, director, great director, constructional, and a lot of Jurnee, a lot of us probably insecure.
I was probably like because I was so much I was you were insecure. I probably if I was if I was being like anything, I'm sure I was I was super insecure. Oh, my God. And here are these things later.
And you're like, why did I'm obsessed with what we project on other people so wild? I didn't even when I go to people like, are you mad at me? And they're like, I thought that I was thinking about you. Right. My therapist, though, is like, I've good news. Bad news.
Nobody's thinking about when you leave a conversation like she hates me, she fucking hates me. I'm the worst. And thinking, you know, she's thinking about how she's worse.
Yeah, I know. We just kill ourselves, don't we.
It's really it's like watching your show.
I was so like. Healing because I just was watching my 20s, that's so amazing, you would see it like that. Thank you.
Watching somebody dig and dig and dig and anesthetize and dig and that Chaib cycle and that.
Like said. Loving too much. Yeah, that love I love too much, I love too hard, like I'm the person that's like Neil Brennan has a joke about this. When you get out of relationship, if you were like, what happened? I think I just loved him too much. Yeah, that's me in a nutshell. I gave you too many gifts, too much. I made all the plans. I made all the vacation trips. I gave it.
I I loved you so hard that I set myself up to hate you and be evicted.
Wow. There's so much it was so much to watch. I was totally my blood. Thank you. And then I was totally on Cassie's dad's side.
No, with that that flashback where she's competing with something in the high school. Yes.
I was like, dude, your brother, I saw that shit. Yep. And he's like, yeah, I like in the next few episodes there's only a few left. But the relationship with her and her brother, it's really interesting because it shows two kids. By the way, I'm I'm Dave Davies. So you saw. So then because he she just saw their life in such a different way. Right. And he saw really what it was.
And that's why they cannot ever be close yet, because they cannot. And he's also unrecovered Alanah unrecovered. Alino, just tortured by this Dashty in my twenties. And he and Casy thought, Dad, what do you mean? He was funny. It was fun.
Every scene is a turn that is so perfect arc like it's just like it makes me mad. Thank you. Frankly, it's like Rosie Perez in the parking lot. Great.
Like, oh it's just like, you know. Yeah I know. Everything is like no fat. Thank you. Not an ounce of fat on the show.
Thank you. And God bless those editors. Alcoholics are the best people. Yes. That's what's so fucked up. They're the best people, the most generous, the most sensitive. The most giving. Yes. Addicts full of life. This love. I love you that.
Yeah, it's it's it's so much and I can't be like your your love, your kind of love.
Intense love and generosity is hurting everyone around you.
Yes. Yes, how awful. I know how awful, because also being the most sensitive people. Yes. Those are the ones that can't take the pain the most. Oh, I can't take it at all. Yeah.
Are you afraid of getting canceled? Just like in life in general, like there's this stuff, there's this like Damocles sword you go over, all of us know like that's like that Halloween costume 10 years ago, really, that podcast I did all the things we did as favors 10 years ago.
I know I could bite us in the ass. No, it is it's a real, real thing. I mean, you make you fuck up once and you're out. It is scary. Eight years ago. Yeah, right. Exactly. 50 years ago, I was a child. Right. I had no clue. Right. Just trying to get love. No clue.
I'm definitely careful. I, I'm, I'm, I, I put myself in situations. I make sure I got great people around me, which I think is really important. I've been with my I don't know if you know this, but I don't like that's animal shit. Got it. Yes.
I've been with my team of people and I'm talking 20 like twenty people since I was 14 years old. Agents, managers, attorneys. Wow. That's a big deal.
Still like there's so much loyalty there and love that I know I'm taking care of and not worried the same thing going back to delegating like it's like. Yes. So I'm good.
It's really and I'm careful and I wish there were there times because I have a chart to show in the last year. I mean, I did, but it did go and it was on. Would you shoot. It was about this with Lisa Kudrow.
Really? Fine. That must have been so fine. Oh, I'm so jealous. We'll talk about that, OK. You see, there's nothing to be jealous of except getting to spend so much time with her. That'll be fun. It was really hard. Did not go because of this exact conversation. Oh, got it.
And her nightmare adds, I know Miles and I have not shot a show, but it was also like the sex needs had intimacy coordinator.
And so with standing there with like midsummer, it is like, are you OK?
I was I'm actually less OK now. So weird how you had a gynecologist have a chaperone.
No, I had a male gynecologist have a chaperone come in and I was like, well, that I believe way weirder. Oh, you think that's weird? I'm male dentist had a chaperone. I feel bad for her. Yeah, well, she's going to be traumatized by this.
I'm OK with men doing this. I've, I've, I'm thirty eight. I right. We don't. Yeah. We've done it. Yeah I would. I'm good if he thinks my vagina sort of left side ok. If he gets a boner like we're the.
Oh God. Yeah.
Like I'm like that would be my dream and then this girl has to watch me get figured and I'm like are you ok.
Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh by the way, even if you do see something. What. No, you're going to lose your job. Yeah, exactly. Do you look. Do not look. Yeah. Look, are you even look you look at you don't even know what's going on. You're not looking away and you don't even see. I need to look I need you love no witness that is so he's gone. Bonnie, she's like looking away, it's like you're supposed to be no, please, she's like, I don't know.
So were there times on set where it was like, oh, we can say that as far as what like if we wrote something and then we said, oh, God, we're just a thing of like because there's a lot of the casting to like the casting on your show.
You fucking psychopath, thank you. That was not easy. None of it felt forced. It was not easy.
None of it felt like, oh, we have to cast a diverse person. Right. Which a lot of these shows you're like, I yes, we have to. Yeah. But I come from a time when they would say. A black character, and they would just see all ethnicities, right, you go to that, you going to audition to be Asian, Hispanic, black, because they all have the same experience, right?
They're interchangeable. It's so true. And there's no explanation why one black person is friends with seven white people. It's so true.
Can't we? How long we did that for so long. Which great. Glad they got jobs now. I know, but it's just like I know I really learned that I wanted to cast an actor wasn't something that was very dark skinned black and they said to urban.
Yep, we've heard that too. We need someone a little more. Yeah. It's not just unreal and real. It's really crazy.
And the person that said that to me was not white. Really. Wow. While speaking of casting, because you've obviously done a lot of did it not just casting, not break your heart like it broke my soul. Yeah, yeah. It's really I didn't know it would be. It's hard. You want to give it the job of every single person I was. And it's not your fault. Right. You did such a great job. Yeah.
Can I tell you something? I believe people should get paid to audition.
Wow. And pitch. Wow, you don't put time at auditions. You can't relate well, but everybody that came to you yesterday, you know, I know everybody that I did spend five days on it. Your makeup, they bindu top about even coaching my sister, which I used to spend a coaching. She spent time.
I was literally like I remember going to tests because we used to test. It'd be like me, Lizzy Caplan Phillips, Lauren Parap on the same crew to Field Mike.
And we would sit there and I remember castrator coming out going to one of the actresses. I don't remember. I blacked it out.
I disassociated who was like, thank you so much for coming. You know, this is just a formality.
I was always the like all the pick of like. I believe that there was an I would go second. I would go second because I was going to make the writers look good and be funny, but I was always too tall and quirky and nasal.
Oh my God. So weird. No, casting is a really strange.
Yeah, that that definitely people walk in and you're like, you don't have the job. You just know that they know too.
They know learning like that that sorry. No everyone knows everything I know all the time.
I know as soon as they walk in high they know they don't have the job that they are shaking. You get nervous. Because there are some people that just don't audition well and some people just and they're great actors and they just cannot I just she's hard. Yeah. And giving off Eddie who are stopping this giving off Eddie desperation or need to just shut off is so you know. Repellent. These people could be needing jobs so bad. Yes, but if you seem like you need it, like I can't.
Oh, it's too much pressure really.
Also, it's so fucking abusive. I used to walk in a room. Did you, like, walk in like Will Smith would be.
There would be like. Could I have gotten a heads up. Oh gosh. Could I just have gotten a heads up. Right. With that mess with your head, yeah, it would. I was 22.
All what I what have I waited for a pilot that Paul Reiser was producing polarizers.
Why I do stand up man about you is why I got to make the best. Yeah. Roseanne and Paul Reiser, who is fucking amazing. Amazing and. Bazil, oh, yeah, fantastic, dramatic acting. And I walk and he's there, and I was just I just started crying like it was awful.
They didn't tell you he was going to be that. Lost, it beats shoe tied behind the seeds, shoot us, shoot us, everyone, to clip on the trade real Buranda.
If no one believes me, they said, I believe you kicked that thing right in the lens and almost broke the lens three times in a row.
Should have been a soccer player. I believe you have it on camera. Thank you. And I also think you improvise when you left the room. But I like you.
I did. Of course you know that. I also think it's very important that we narrate our inner monologue to a point so that people know how we think. Yeah, right.
Like we're educate the biggest mistake I made, I guess, but in the TV show I did was I wrote the first three scripts and they go, no, you I'm sorry I didn't read the first three scripts.
I was like, you have it, you have it. Everyone. I did what I want you to get credit and I want to get money back. And the residual money. And that was a thing.
And like a mentor of mine was like, you need to show them the target. And if you tell someone know that you don't like something, you have to tell them why. So they understand why. Yeah. So we can fix it. Yeah. Just to be that way. Yeah. I don't know about that joke.
OK, I'm even more confused. It shuts people down. I don't like that joke because it just I feel like I did a version of my act and. So has a version of it, not like I've seen it somewhere, you know, they go, great, thank you for the fucking data. Thanks for the data. I could do my job now. Right. My toolbox has more tools at it.
And then it's like, oh, it's. Like, feedback is not criticism. No, you can't be sensitive. No, not in this business. Oh, no, I want it all. Tell me what's up. Just let's get this thing done. Have you ever been on a failed project? Yeah. Privett.
Truly some bad shit. OK, you are like the bad golden pony, you're like the. I'm not joking like you just hit only I don't know. I'm not. Don't thank me. I know I do it. I don't like to think about it like that. That's what's so I'm worried. Want the next thing?
What's next 12 years on the show? I know.
How much was how I met your daughter, your daughter, what, like seven shows all in the same title of Fathers. Be good. Your daughters, you literally now like twenty five farmer's daughter vintners, the daughter, daughter, daughter. There's so many that was very short lived, but that was such a traumatic, that was pretty traumatic. I, I cried my head off. It was pretty traumatic especially. Yeah. That was there that day like oh know.
So that was kind of a good. Yes. You know, grew up peed my pants watching you. Yeah. Three's Company is my show. I'm Janet that I was doing my whole life. I just up the data for Halloween all my years there's.
Yeah. There was no one like him. Yeah. He used to tell three jokes. John Ritter the and it was like a dad you know. It's like dad jokes. Right Dad. Why are you telling that again. He told three jokes and we would, I would pee every day. It was the same joke gets funnier. He would come in. We had these dinner scenes. There's always chips on the table. We'd be in the rehearsal scene and he'd go eat, go.
I'd be sitting where you are and he'd just pull this chip over and he'd go. I do have a chip on my shoulder, and I would I would literally fall out of my chair like every time.
So Bob Saget one time we were at dinner and he is we all have Blackberries and he picked up a BlackBerry and he was like, sorry to see this sense of humor.
Like it was a BlackBerry that I die. It's like I had to take a walk around the simple.
He would go we'd be shooting for the audience with the serious, you know, those father daughter scenes, he was like me is like Brigitte.
Does anyone else have to pay that Stewart say, and you just break and everyone, which is the audience would just scream for 20 minutes. You've seen the video of him on the hammock. Oh, my God.
I hear it's a YouTube video of John Ritter.
And it is. It is it is so physically gifted. Yes. It's Charlie Chaplin. It's Lucille Ball. It's John Ritter. It's Leslie Nielsen. Yeah. Like, there's not a lot of people like Liza Koshy. When she was on the show, I kind of argued I was like, you have a little bit of that in you to be able to dance.
I know I was looking through your I actually don't like it when people repost birthday posts about themselves and their stories. It's so annoying.
I'm just like, I don't know these people. Five hundred. Well, I don't know. This is your niece. I'm going to show her. They're like, totally. Pat, please see you with Dubi truck. Like, what is this. Can I just like see you like I did it for you and now I'm like seeing you like repost people because they're so nice and you're helping them like you want to think the what I was going through it, I enjoyed it.
Because I was like I know it is so sweet. Lot of these people are famous. Yeah I know your friends are famous. Who's this girl. Who's this 13 year old girl who's like Cayley's my hero.
That was my little sweet. Who's this woman. Yeah. Who's this older woman? That's not her mom. Yeah. It's just like Cayley's heart is so big.
It's really sweet of you. I know. Exactly. I would never have done it. I'm like, yeah, I got it. Thank you. Happy birthday. I would never repost people. I'm a total repost or. Yeah, like give it. I feel like it's like I know but I don't want to see it. It'll play. I yelled about it, about it.
I was like, why are you reposting compliments of yourself. People that we're following and people that already follow you.
They're like they know you're right, they like you, they're on their in and then there's like seven hundred dots of David Spade, Kober, Beeb's beads, Beeb's beebees. He's like twenty years ago many. You have way too many beebees today, Jamie Nairo, because I'll make fun of her. She'll be great. But you does.
Yes but she, she knows that she's hustlin. She's amazing. But I laugh.
I'm like so many dot dots today. She's like I know I'm on it. I'm like so many too many.
But she's also like, I'm obsessed with people that aren't comedians that are really funny.
Yes, she is.
Like the Internet has showed us that comedians actually are are like medium funny because some of the best memes that we see are from just someone in Toledo, Ohio. And then like they don't so much in Fort Worth, Texas, is like at the grocery store being whole like hell. They're funnier than most comedians stories now and then. Jamie Greber, makeup artist, he people.
And then she's just like, we can't do what she does makeup. We can't get it done in times.
You're just we're late for Kelly Clarkson because we're laughing and she can't get she'll give me Pinki. She is like, we can't. I'm like, we have to stop. You have to stop talking. She is the best because I'm laughing. Yeah, I know she's the best. And I look like the joker. You're missing, right. She's you're missing my mouth. I know she's so special, there's so many of those so sick of press. Yeah, this was a lot for you, but I just this was the first time I was like, I'll take it, I'm taking it.
Yeah. I want all eyes. But this is like a Breaking Bad situation where everyone's talking about it. Well, so people are going to be your publicists.
Well, that's the thing. Yeah, I have to. I have to. I got to get I got to get it out there. Yeah. Has that look, I mean it's like my favorite thing, just like watching a bunch of gorgeous chaos.
I love watching a woman do her bun because everyone's got Paval, they, everyone's got this. They have a way. And I love watching women do their makeup because everyone's got their weird face. So for me, I when I put. Lipstick on? Yeah, I keep this still at I move my mouth. That's so weird. Beyond. Wow. And then even get a lot of times I take this I'll take a little bit of the glass and my nose.
Why did you smell it? My mom growing up used to put Vicks Vapor rub in her nose like three times a day and I just got it. I like just do the smell. Think of something like I do like a well, yeah.
That I understand. I'll just put a little on my nose. Wow. That's so weird. And then I'll take Jennifer Love Hewitt taught me this trick. I'll take a little do that. Romeros.
Oh give it a little get my eyebrows and to get them straight she does it with hairspray. Little hair spray on your fingers. Hit your eyebrows. Yeah.
Facials. Yeah. Where do I go. I don't do facials ever though. Used to what would stop. It would make me break out really and it's a three hours door to door. OK. Three hours into the door, it's a little game. And then what? Yeah, but world. Right. Well, you wanted three hours in a podcast, so a long time.
Yeah, but this is going to get this is a very popular broadcast.
I know I'm fucking with you. I'm fine with you. With you know, it's a long time. Any of those things. It's just enough. I know. It's like I can't there be another day.
But the amount of stress that I'm trying to leave go to a therapist, driving to a therapist will cancel it out.
I go. I'm like high because you're so forty five. Mm. Yeah. Yeah. Got it. Four o'clock on a Tuesday. Aren't you doing those on Zoom's now.
Yes. Sometimes she'll come here and we'll sit outside. OK, that's I'll go to her house, we'll set our sights. Nice. Yeah. At least everything really is so different now. It there's a couple of things that should have always been like this, I agree meetings with directors, meetings, we should have always done this. Why was I driving an hour for a meeting, for a job I wasn't going to get and then an hour I.
So everyone's embarrassed. Yeah, it's always a weird date. It's so true, and then when you leave, you have to make another plan out of obligation. Always I'll leave and you're like, all right, so yeah, I get dinner soon. Yeah. Where anything I didn't cover. Do you have any more questions. What can I. I'm like, well I feel like we just did it.
I know. Like just I, I feel like we're done.
If you have any more questions, email me. Ebele let text. I don't email me but yeah if you don't have my number we're not doing this and then it's like, oh let me get your number.
And you're like oh no, it's always such a thing.
I know. And then we're like on a hike that we don't want to idealize.
None of us want to do this. Like it's funny cause I was like something that we just like legitimately, things to talk about really.
Like one of those that you had like a mile and a half and we would see each other a week before I was like, Do I see you on Instagram every day? I know I don't have any questions for you because I know everything that you've done I want.
But it was such a bummer. I was like, so that trip to Santa Barbara look fun. God, seems like the hotel forgot your keys. Really?
For just recapping from Instagram rehash, that's three hash we're an old married couple got. It's so funny.
We don't you don't like me and I don't like you.
People just say that. So how many dogs do you have. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah. If you don't know the answer. No. By the way, I don't know how many dogs you have. Well, that I think is seven. So many. Yeah, we have seven opportunities just died. So but we still consider seven. It is that above the legal limit, because I think it might be unhidden hills at least not to build as many as I have to get a kennel license or something so that I can foster three of us.
Yes. Yes. It is kind of crazy, right?
Animal control is like, OK, can you help us out? Going back to your saying about people who don't like if you know. You know. Right. Yeah. People especially through like by the way, dogs always know. Yeah, that's for sure. I've had guys come in and my dogs are like, oh no thank you. I'm like, fuck, if I just listen to her.
I know that dog. It's funny though, like the press with flight attendants that people are asking me about.
Oh yes, Norm. So is Norman. What's Norman? It makes me so mad. Now that's very selfish.
And Narcis of me to just think everyone should know. But I'm like, if you did you did you love it? You would Google one time, but it's your only job. Who's Google who's what is not. And I'm like, that's really how much. Just so, Norman, your dog, is it a reproduction? How cool. If you don't know. I was on with the journalists the other day. He was like, So you're engaged.
I was like, oh my God. I believe now I'm a bit yes, I'm the bitch down for going for correcting them.
It's a year now. They're like, oh, I should've know that. Yeah, totally. Yeah. But now I'm a bitch. You your sloppiness just made me a bitch.
And it's one Google, by the way. It's the top two topics that come up. That but then you're going to be like, so you dated Lenny Kravitz and I'm like, that's not true. That's right. The one thing that's not to be some weird thing that came out that they did, by the way, they Googled on the way to see you. So they saw the top.
Why don't you do a talk show? I did one. Right. They one what do show, show, so why is Whitney canceled?
You tell me and the more we tell a story, the more we exaggerate it because we lean into what gets the response. It's like a kid tells a joke that makes you laugh and they keep telling, you know, your story keeps getting more extreme. And then your car swerved off the road and then it crashed into a tree and then it flipped. It just keeps getting worse and worse.
I mean, I've been in relationships where. Someone told a story so much, my guy. That I told it and thought it was me. I'm sorry. Like, I've really like I've had people you'd be, like, believed it. I've had people like that's my story, right? Oh, my God. Oh.
That's really wild, I think that's really interesting because the same way I go back to me being scissors there, there's things that I sometimes think I have, like a problem, like I can just forget something or I write a story about something that was soothing at the time and made everything make sense.
Like I took a sleeping pill when I was a year old crawling around at a neighbor's house.
My God, it kind of explains a lot.
Almost died like passed out like unconscious. Went to the hospital on the floor where it was a horse tranquilizer, like not OxyContin, like whatever it was back then. Percocet, something crazy, something because the neighbor, the person's house, I was out, had a surgery and it was all on the floor and I was crawling around.
I just put a big mouth and then. I go to the hospital and they put charcoal down my chest to get it out and pump my stomach and this whole thing, and I like telling the story of my therapist and she's like, that's not what happened.
And you're like, it's not. That doesn't add up, that's the story my parents told themselves and then told me later, and every time the story is told, it's a little different. Oh, and that's not what happens.
And you don't know what happened. I was one. No, but I'm sick. So no one said, oh, yeah. Well, my memory of you 20 years ago don't know is the exact same as it is now.
Nothing has changed. I never thought I'd never looked at you any different or felt. I know you were saying like we get along then or I. I was terrified of you.
I was always there. I was so insecure. But it's funny, I you've always been I mean, this is a comment like the same to me. Yeah. And like you said, I look, we could go a couple of years. I probably people always say, like, you look younger. You look so young because I actually started sleeping. Well, there you go.
Yeah, but it is it shows a true human and true friendship. And I discovered no color.
It can go as long as we have a little bettong, just the boop boop look. OK, I'm sorry you lost your fucking mind. She's gone to God.
I never had out there. I don't know. But I just mean it. It says a lot when you can go a long time and maybe not speak or see each other. We always do jump right back in. I think it's a testament to you, your love for animals.
And I'm obsessed with your loyalty as a friend. I love you. I love you. I and these are all the liquids. I always have these very good legs. You know how to end it. Don't ride elephants. You want to go on a hike tomorrow?
Uh, I actually do. I do. I met for last I do tomorrow. But I really do think, you know, time we're going to oh God, we're going to be rescheduling those two years. But that's what we do.
But I, I'm going to enjoy the reschedules the hike way more than the act. There's too much pressure on like I love you and don't ride elephants. I say that, I say that at the end of every episode as someone that rode elephants in Thailand right before I before I knew. So I always say it's OK if you did it, you didn't know. But now, you know, don't ride elephants in a downtown shop. Yes, always.
And you can always find the breed. You want that. That's another thing. I can find a puppy. I can find you a Dalmatian and Hapi. Yeah. I can't find you a Great Dane and Hapi purebred. Yep. German Shepherd. Got ya. It's so true. So true. You might have to wait a couple days and you're not going to pay twenty five hundred dollars for dog, which is just bad business frankly. And they're not going to be inbred and have 900 problem.
There you go. And there's no such thing as a hypoallergenic dog. That's not real. I don't think it's really it's not. I know it's in there so I say that's not true. If the guy that invented those wrote a New York Times article saying it was the biggest mistake he ever made. They have mental problems. They have brain problems. They have health problems. It's a nightmare. It's crazy, like, truly crazy, no such thing as a hypoallergenic dog.
Don't make me be the asshole. Why do I have to do this every time? Because they're making us, Whitney. I know we have allergies. Yeah, OK.
That's me. I can't. I can't with that one.
Take a Claritin. Yeah, exactly. I don't know what to tell you. You think I have 12 years.
Same same to my house. I'm fully allergic to my doctor's name and I don't care what people tell me. They're allergic to horses. I'm like, no, you're allergic to the dust that the horses are around. I'm convinced. And you have carpets in your house, dumb ass. Yeah. Now that's what you're allergic to. I pick my bodies up and I kiss them and I squeeze and I leave and my eyes are literally swollen shut. And Carl's always like, you're allergic to bunnies.
I'm like, I know I'm going to be way more allergic to not having the money. Yeah, I couldn't do it. I just. Yeah, I've got my thing with, like, taking sleeping pills. I'm not I'm not taking sleeping pills. I'm too tired to sleep.
Yeah. Betty Ford doesn't love that. I like you. I bet that I love you. I love you. And I have to pee and be chill out all these liquid.