Monica AldamaGood For You
- 702 views
- 16 Nov 2020
Whitney loses her shit over Monica Aldama. Thank you to our sponsors: drinkolipop.com/whitney apostrophe.com code: whitney publicgoods.com/whitney iqtreatmat.com/whitney
I don't even know where to start with you. I'm so obsessed with you. Oh, my God, I'm obsessed with you. I'm going to cry. I think I'm going to cry for sure. Whitney, come on. Come on. How are you feeling? Good. I mean, you know, I prepared myself to be sent home so that I wouldn't be too disappointed. I didn't want to feel completely disappointed if it happened. So, yeah, I was prepared myself for that.
And my body has been through. I mean, I haven't had a day off in two and a half months, so my body's happy that it gets a little break and it's bittersweet. I get to go back to Texas. So I'm feeling like. I feel like you won. I mean, honestly, I mean, honestly, just the experience in itself, it doesn't really I mean, obviously, I'm competitive. I would have loved to stay to the end won.
I mean, have another trophy. Right. But at the end of the day, it was just the experience was really wonderful and challenging, which I think is the most rewarding part of it. What was your reaction when you first got that email or call about do you want to be on Dancing with the Stars? Because that's when you know you're famous. That must have been surreal. Yeah. I mean, well, here's the thing. We went to the Dancing with the Stars tour back in March.
They invited us to come out. They were in the Dallas area on their tour. So they invited me and the team to come out and watch. So we did. And then we got to go backstage and meet the cast. So I actually met Val back in March, and he's now single. No, he's married. Oh, he's married. It's love you, girl. I'm on your side. I'm sorry. He's married to his partner, Jenna.
Oh, good job. Well done. I'll stop flirting with you and tagging. You know, he loves it. Keep doing just fine with it. It'll make it'll make your sex life even hotter. Yes. Yes. Um, so yeah. I mean, I met Val back in March. He took a picture of us and sent it to the producer because he actually before I even officially met him, he said, I want you to be my partner on the next season of Dancing with the Stars.
And of course, at that moment, I was blown. I was, you know, so but I never got the call until a few weeks before the show. So, yeah, it was definitely surreal. Although it had been already, the seed had been planted back in March. But I've been a fan of the show since the very first season. I love Dancing with the Stars. Why is Dancing with the Stars so? Good luck. What is it?
I don't know. Well, first of all, just the dancing I love. I mean, I wish that I would have taken lessons or something and actually had to, you know, gotten to experience ballroom dancing besides just this week. But I mean, it's beautiful to watch. Then you watch. I didn't know how hard it was, but you watch celebrities come in and really make themselves vulnerable. And that's what it is. Yeah, it really is.
You're watching someone triumph and try to fail. It's like there's some schadenfreude in it, but it's also like Rudy. Yeah. Watching Rudy. Correct. And then and like I said, I didn't even know I didn't know coming on that it was even as hard as it is. But it really is emotionally and physically difficult.
So I've just been up and always you have emotions, you know what I do. And I didn't realize that I had that. I mean, that was, I think, the shocking part to me, because I'm very confident in my world. You know, I didn't realize how inadequate I would feel. But, yes, it was crazy.
I got there and I was like, what is happening? Who are you? Yeah, it was crazy.
What, like the queen has an insecurity, huh? Marie Antoinette. Yes.
And it was and it was brought out, you know, pretty you know, it was very intense. And, um, I yeah, I just kind of shocked myself because I always have this weird confidence in myself, like, oh, you can do anything.
You know, you're in confidence. Where does that come from? Texas Tech. Weird, confident. Like even since I was little, I thought I could do things that were that were ridiculous, you know.
And what was it? Was it were you around horses and animals when you're you know that.
And that's why I wasn't able to give Ali the experience that that I wish I could have with the horses. But no, I don't know. Some weird just confidence in myself. Like know especially like when I was growing up brothers. I have a sister, older, older, OK. And, um, you know, I would just when I was growing up, what could be I could be a surgeon. Why not? I mean, that person did it, you know what I mean?
Just like it was like I don't know, I never felt like well, other normal people can do that. Why couldn't I? You know, top kind of what did your mom do?
She was she was a teacher for a short time, and then she owned her own business.
Well, she's a woman that owned her own business. Yeah. And what was it? She owned a very successful daycare.
When was this? Well, she just sold it a few years ago and just retired, so you grew up watching a woman run a business? Yeah, yeah.
Why not me? Of why not me? I don't know why not me?
I mean, I always kind of had a man's personality and he's like, I mean, just like weird entitled. I mean, just to have that. How do I know yet. But I will at some point. I mean, I had like I never felt like I don't know, someone even asked me if I felt like through my job, like I was ever treated differently because I was a female and I was like, you know, maybe I was I didn't notice it.
I didn't I wasn't thinking about it. Yeah. I've never thought that I couldn't do something because I was a female. Never. And so, you know, growing up, I never thought I could not do anything. I mean, anything I wanted. I just felt like I could do it. And so it was very strange to me to come out here.
And because you thought you could you could I could go wild about her magician.
It's also I mean, you know, I was up for the challenge. I just didn't realize that emotionally it would take such a toll on me that I would feel so inadequate.
And so just is it because your bar for yourself is so high and you're such a perfectionist? You know, I think I think maybe that a little bit. But I mean, I was I was putting the work and I was you know, I'd go to practice, never ask for a break. I mean, that wasn't a problem. Is it also stressful that I mean, our cameras filming you at every practice? Yes. For Dancing with the Stars, every practice which but because of covid, they were not apparently because I don't know anything besides what I know from being on there this year.
But apparently in the past, they would actually physically be in the room with you filming. So you felt like you had people in their right, you know, but this year, because it covered everything was done like with robotic cameras. So they would just be what they were in a different room than us, but they would talk to us sometimes. It was kind of weird. That's weird. Yeah, it was weird because I felt alone in there and we would be in the middle of a dance or do whatever, and they would say, can you, you know, and it's kind of like, oh, there's somebody watching you.
Real. Yeah. So odd. Yeah. So yeah.
I mean, literally your inner monologue being broadcast. Right. So you know, it's just a weird situation like I don't know, I think I think being getting here and then being intimidated just like I know nothing. And I'm working with this professional Vall who's so incredible, you know, and I'm like, oh, I don't want to disappoint him in my mind. I don't want to do that.
You have you've been a fan of the show. Yeah. And then you're on the show. I'm on the show.
And then when I got here, I was like, wait a minute, what if I'm not getting this is like The Truman Show, is it doesn't it feel kind of surreal? The twenty twenty has been surreal.
Like, is it does the fact that I'm talking to you, it's surreal. Like I'm in now. I'm in my favorite show, I'm on here now.
I'm going to borrow a shirt like I mean this is just like very we're in the Matrix. Life is a simulation.
Wild, wild. So when did you know that you were famous?
Like when did that happen? You know, here's what happened in twenty seventeen. I got approached for I got an email that said, hey, we've been trying to contact you, we want to talk to you about where the it was a producer from Last Chance You which is a very popular. Yes. That, that. Yes. Yes I know. He's an amazing guy. Yes.
So the funny thing is though, my daughter's boyfriend played football at Navarro, his first for his freshman year in college. So he was at our house watching that last chance. You just this was just a few weeks before I got this email. And so, of course, junior college football, I'm interested. I stopped. I watched for a little bit and. I said even to them, I was like, oh, man, I don't think our president, because it's a conservative town, would would like this because there's so much cussing and just and so but I was so intrigued.
I'm like, I love football so much. So I'm junior. Why do we love football so much?
I don't know. It's a primal.
Is it like our Rome Roman Coliseum?
I mean, I think, you know, it's literally sometimes I'm like, they're playing with a ball.
Why do I love it? I just I don't know. And I don't it's like I'm not even like a big football person, but when I'm with people and watching it, I love it so much.
I mean, just. Yeah, comfort. It brings me whether it's our terror management or whatever it is or like we're wired with this tribal need to root for and against. And yeah, you get to feel pride and triumph and glory. And I just what's better than watching football. But then what do we make of all this concussion stuff?
I mean, I literally I feel bad hitting each other and they're just trying to get the ball over like it's like the most bizarre thing. But it's bizarre, bizarre. But I'm obsessed with it.
And I love football that at one point they'll be robots. Nothing will be the same.
I don't think it would be the same if they were robots. But who knows? I mean, video games. Look how many people are obsessed with playing football. I mean. Right. So who knows? We're strange people. We are we're animals. We're not people. We're animals. That's why.
Right. We're monkeys. Yeah. So, I mean, watching football there, I don't know if it's nature or if it's nurture or whatever, but it's like what is better than just watching football.
The adrenalin. Adrenalin turns into dopamine. Yes.
And then you go into overtime and it's like, oh my God, I'm talking about it.
I mean, I remember I was dating someone who was a Patriots fan. I hope this upset. You know what?
If you just got up and walked the Patriots Boston and he the the superstition stuff I love is that are you just so superstitious?
So they would the Patriots would win every time I sat on a certain part of the couch. So I said the same side of the couch at every game and we broke up and then football season came around. It was so you purposely said, oh, he called me.
I was like, hey, can you come over? He didn't like OK. Yeah, I we broke it up.
It was like a horrible breakup. And I came back just to sit in the spot and they were I mean they were crazy.
That's hilarious. But I'm kind of that way like almost religious.
If the team that I'm watching that I'm, you know, obsessed with is not doing well, I will move move positions. I've even gone to a different room and watched like this just to try to like, OK, it's me that bad vibes I need to move. I'm causing the players that are in Tampa to not be able to catch the ball because I'm sitting on a couch. And that's how you see this. Yes. And I will change.
And I'm like, I know you're aware that I'm a witch. Yes, I just am a witch. I'm literally crazy. I will throw brand new underwear away that if we lose that competition, Dunn got to throw them in the trash. It was the underwear. It wasn't the underwear. So, I mean, just some really bizarre things. I don't know. I ate a certain thing that day. I can't eat it again. I don't.
Never again. Never again.
Just great. It's just we need some kind of. It's meaning. Make it. Yeah. We just need something to feel like we're in control first because I love to be in control. That's what we do is so wildly out of control. So we have a false it's a false sense of security. Yes.
It's just fascinating. Bizarre.
Rocinante, I'm like I'm smart enough to know better, but I still do it. Like, we know this is not a science. Yeah. And I still do it fully. Kuhnen. Yeah, yeah. This is not science, but it's a ritual. How about that. It's a ritual.
There you go. Where you go is incredibly important. It is. It is. And so yeah but and with football we get crazy. I mean we really do got to sit here, you got to eat this. We all have to be together who we are and how we bond.
It's how we cope.
It's how we strange. And I'm from Texas and football's everything in Texas. So we're going to talk about Texas in a minute. Yes. So Dancing with the Stars, how's your body?
I'm obsessed with your body, by the way.
I love to say that is really going to call me.
Am I going to cancel them? Objectifying, you know, objectify all the way, all you want?
No. My body is probably super happy right now. I'm going to have a break. I have not I mean, I work out some, but I kind of like really felt like I was on vacation during quarantine when I was cooking and I was eating like we try to eat kind of healthy. But I was cooking like I was on vacation.
Texas kind of healthy. It was kind of healthy to some.
Well, well I mean, you know, like fried okra. No. No, no, we we literally try to grill some chicken and stuff like that, yeah. And then, you know, eat Mexican food on the weekends. Yes. You know, just kind of a balance. Yeah. 80-20 maybe it's more like 60 40, you know. Yeah.
I have a person come my mother, as you all know, I think maybe it's from Sherman, Texas.
So I have that Texas need to put cheese on everything and to put like so everything healthy, you just have to, like, ruin that iced tea, sugar or two cups of sugar. Yes, we see everything. And that's how I grew up.
I mean, marshmallows on yams. Oh yeah. Those healthiest the world with a lot of butter.
Let's put marshmallows and brown sugar, brown and brown sugar. I mean, let's just, you know.
Yeah. So that that Texas sort of like need to do that. I get. Yeah. And I mean I grew up the sweet tea and all that, but as I got older, you know, I was like, oh I can't, I can't do that anymore. You know, I realized that you start gaining weight. I can't do that anymore. So I really try to just kind of modify my I don't drink usually don't drink any calories at all, because to me that's such a waste.
I'm like, why no mother eat a cookie, you know?
Yeah, I would rather yeah, I would I would just I have to like decide what where I want to spend my calories. Yes. And so I don't I'm like I would rather eat them than drink them. So I don't I don't drink. So mathematics. I know. It's so strange.
No, no it's not strange. It's but yeah. It's a good thing. And why are you so no more sweet tea. I cut that out years ago. No more sugar in the tea. I mean I love sugar but if I'm going to have it I want to eat a container of brown pepper. No Dr. Pepper. I used to drink Dr. Pepper. Yeah, that's Texas. That's yes. But once again, years ago when I decided I needed to cut back on some calories for just to maintain.
Yeah. All the all the drinks had to go. Yeah. Yeah. So snow cones. Texas is gone. I remember growing up just there's just snow cone. Yeah. On the side of the road where snow cones and. Yeah. What the fuck. I'm just trying to go to church and now I have to stopping at a snow cone. That's seven hundred calories right there. Just drinking red number five. Yeah. And corn syrup.
So yeah I had to cut out something and I like to eat so you know, cut out to cut out the drinks.
What I like watch here. It was such a it was such a it was so powerful for so many reasons. And we're going to get into why.
But it was at a time where in Hollywood everyone was talking about how women don't have power.
I know this is going to get me canceled.
Fine. I need to dash off. And it was like the media was just all they were covering was like, women are weak.
Women don't get paid as much. Women aren't in charge. Women don't run shows. Women don't direct movies. Women don't have enough power. Women don't have like it's like this narrative.
And it because my favorite story is when I was doing my last special, you know, it's our job as comedians to write jokes that everybody is, you know, can relate to where to talk about things that everyone is talking about. And everyone was talking about me too. Movement in Los Angeles.
And I write an hour of jokes about sexual harassment. I go to first up on towards Houston and I go, I'm like, hey, guys. Like, let's put a stop to sexual harassment. A woman in the front row went, girl, take the compliment and move on and.
And I was like, oh, I think I might be in an echo chamber, I think I might be in a bubble.
I think I you know, and it was this thing of like I was like, this just isn't my experience. Like, it's it's Hollywood gets to sort of like project this narrative.
And it was at the time projecting this narrative like no women had power anywhere. And then I watch Chir and you come on. And it was just like, you know, it just cancel that shit. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like I said, going back to this weird, you know, I've just never. Like I said, you know, I've never felt like, oh, I shouldn't say that or I shouldn't get the same thing as you.
I mean, I've I've just never felt I deserve that I'm safe enough. And and I've never if someone did talk down to me, I've never noticed it because I never went in with that mentality. Like, I've never gone in feeling like because I was a woman that I should be treated differently or just never occurred to you. Never occurred to me. It was this your conditioning was your parenting like you were just, you know, your strong personality of hers.
And it also your epigenetics and your. Where is your ancestry?
Texas, Alabama. Alabama. Yeah. So I'm originally from Alabama. Did you watch TV growing up? Yeah, I watch TV, but I just I don't know. I really. I just. It's because I because I just like when I'm in Hollywood and all these people are like women don't. And I'm like, have you been to Texas guys? Judges in Texas are handling shit. Yes, you know, like I was just it's just not my experience.
No, no. I mean and I honestly think that you you're in control of that. Like, I've never had a mindset that I was less than ever. So why would I why should someone tell me that?
I said, look, we're all in therapy to become you. That's why I'm really just trying to break this down and get very granular.
And you know, what else you have that is so, so incredibly powerful is you have this ability to only say what you need to say.
I know that sounds really dumb.
I agree. I don't I don't you think I'm a very black and white person to I don't I don't want to add the extra. It's like this is what it is.
You know, you are so direct and clear and it is so hard for women to be that because most women are so conditioned to believe they have to apologize and walk on eggshells and shape shift and make you feel comfortable and be apologetic. And I don't want to hurt your feelings. And I, I, I don't I can't tolerate your discomfort. Correct. And I know and that's another thing, weird thing to me. Like, I don't understand that.
Like I would much rather you tell me I look tired then be fake with me, you know what I mean. Like that's the whole thing. I wouldn't I want to know the truth and it's fine. Like, I'm tough. I can handle that.
Because what you're doing when when you're when you're people pleasing with someone, you're actually patronizing and insulting them because you're implying they can't handle the truth.
Correct. It's rude to be nice, right? Yeah. Back to Dancing with the Stars. This is bizarre. I like I've really keep going back to this. In my mind, the I don't know if you watch or not, but the episode, they did a little package before you. Well, there was an episode they did on mine and Val's relationship partnership. And I had a conversation with him about how I didn't like the way he was talking to me.
And his fans were not happy that I spoke to him like that.
But I never I would never speak to someone in a rude or condescending way like that was an honest that was all that was actually out of respect, out of respect and an honest adult conversation that the two of us had. Because I respect you enough for you to handle that. And that I would I would want someone to tell me. And you feel like he was just being he was it's just, you know, we got it all figured out.
But but, you know, it was really it was really I told you I was already felt inadequate because I knew nothing. And I'm trying to learn from Ground Zero when a lot of these other people had a lot of experience and stuff so that, you know, I'm like way before way back in the race before I we can get started, you know, I'm starting like that here.
But what you did have going in was discipline. Outstanding of body. Yeah. An incredible body and drive. Yeah.
So, you know, but the way that his culture is, I think that in a way I didn't realize this, but ballroom dancing, they're very cutthroat and very you know, so. The majority of our practices was it was a very condescending it was not very encouraging at all. And so I'm already hard. I'm already telling myself I'm not good enough. I just need to just throw me throw me along. I just need a little bit of that.
I need to know that you believe in me. You know what I mean? Yes. So and I think he thought because we got it all worked out, he thought that he was helping me and motivating me. Yep. By like basically throwing me into the sea, like thinkorswim. Yep. And I'm like, hey, look, I already threw myself over. Now can you, like, be my lifeline and help me out? Because that is that Monika's strategy at Novarro?
No, I don't.
I don't ever. Because you're like you don't like don't play me. I'm the coach. It's it's sort of like I know how to motivate people. I know how to motivate myself. I don't need you to mock me. I'm a coach. Listen, I mean, nobody's going to push themselves harder than myself, so I don't know. Words will make me work harder. All you're doing is like making my confidence go down lower. And that's where that's the one piece I'm missing right now is confidence.
So if you can help me there, I can be so much better, you know, because you don't nothing. I'm going to push myself. I'm going to be my biggest critic, you know. Yes. I want critiques. Yes. Tell me the truth. Absolutely. But I need you to believe in me and I need to hear it at some point, even if it's just this much just like just condescending. You don't need to toughen me up.
I'm already tough enough.
Just if we could just just that much that just, you know. And so it was a very respectful adult conversation. I mean, it was very I'm shocked that someone would be so upset that that I told someone how I felt. Well, that's weird. Direct women are triggering to people. That's weird. Direct direct people, direct women that ask for what they need and know what they need is terrifying to a lot of people. It makes them scared and they attack.
Yeah, that's bizarre. That's my entire career.
That's my career in a nutshell. That's my YouTube comments in a nutshell. Yeah. A woman being direct with a man. A lot of people get triggered. They see it as like emasculating. There's just so much programming. And I try to just have compassion for those people, you know. Yeah. Like the anyone that would be triggered by that has something else going on.
Yeah. And like I said, it was such a short, small, like, hey, speaking like you don't think I can handle it.
You don't think about I mean I don't think I can handle the truth from you. Right.
I mean in that moment we're both adults like one team, we're on a team and we want the team to be great. So anyways, it was just very strange to me to see some of the comments that people were upset that I actually had a calm versus a respectful conversation about how I felt. Yeah, well, that's fine.
But you in that moment were being the best teammate. You could be the best performer you could be the best athlete you can be. But that's OK.
I mean, it's you know, it's it's I'm fascinated by people that got famous, like without a, like, ramp up, like, you just kind of got famous and and I wasn't prepared.
What's it over? I mean, this could have truly been overnight. Like, so comedians, you know, people like me, like we had like some people knew about it was gradual. So I got to kind of build up my tolerance to negative comments and I got to get used to the amount of energy that comes out.
Yeah, yours was just like cataclysmic. Oh, yeah. I got some really nasty messages right after the show came out.
But it's all it's just it's just people that are in pain. Yeah. And I mean, like, honestly, 95 percent of it was positive, but that thought about that five percent is the only thing that five percent and I'm like or they don't focus on what's going on. Athletes, do they not understand? I mean, I just couldn't it was bizarre, once again, bizarre to me.
But they just projected onto your mama mama like that, you know? And so I always say like that when I perform within the first twenty minutes, it always goes well. But like at twenty five thirty minutes, someone in the audience always snaps.
They're like, ha ha ha. And then I just turn into their mother, their ex-wife, the woman that wouldn't fuck them in high school or girl that got weird. And they project on to me. And then I hear like I can't like just a woman holding a microphone, doing a very masculine job, talking, you know, being in charge, being powerful. No one else is allowed to speak it. Just some people time travel, their inner child comes out and they're just like my mom.
So strange to me because you are so penetrating. I mean, your presence is so intense and it is so so I.
I don't think I could have handled it when I was twenty five. I would have probably been defensive and terrified of you and you know, and I try to stay out of you.
They are definitely a lot of people are in. Intimidated me, and it's just my presence, and I definitely have a resting bitch face and I try to tell the kids like, listen, that's my thinking face.
And I'm thinking, I think a lot. Yeah. So, like, don't be scared to come up and talk to me. I'm open for any conversation at any time. Don't let my face scare you away because, yes, I am very serious and I like to think and if I'm at my job, I'm thinking about how to make the team the best.
Whenever someone's whatever someone you're such a perfect mirror or whatever someone thinks you think of them is what they think of themselves because you're so clear and direct and honest that you just become a mirror, you know?
Yeah, I could see that the book is just like, fascinating, fascinating. I was like, fascinated.
I mean, that's why you had to be careful with your words to be direct, but also give them that line, like give them some feedback that's going to make them nice to believe them if it's and if it's something they need to work on. But I want them to know I believe in them because to me, that's such an important piece. Like when you start doubting yourself, you don't perform very well.
What is your philosophy on like? I guess by the time the athletes get to you, they're already so, such a high level performance mentally.
Like, do you have strategies of like how to motivate people?
Yeah, I mean, I mean, well, is different. So that's first of all, no one, not everyone can handle the same type of directness. Some people you can be super direct with and some people need that very good, positive sandwich where it's a very good little positive critique. And then you sneak that little directness in and then you top it off with a positive critique, you know what I mean?
So you just and you just have the gift of being able to ascertain that really well. You can tell it like you can see the look on someone's face a lot of times. And, you know, sometimes I'm surprised at it. Some people that I think are you know, they're very sensitive and I don't get it at first and they're very sensitive. Let me kind of go in a back door here and you know why more women should be coaches?
Because women are just better at reading faces than men are. Sorry, science science be. But yeah, I mean, you can ascertain what motivates people who's sensitive and then cater your coaching style to the correct and you have to do that. So I didn't really and I did you know, I was very young when I started. I just loved cheerleading. So I didn't I mean, this wasn't even supposed to be my job, but I ended up there.
So, um, but, you know, I, I didn't realize that, oh, you're not going to have to just be a coach. You're going to be a mother. A psychiatrist. Yep. Counselor.
All these things I've learned as I've gone, I coach social worker to you met star famous person, ballroom dancer.
You know, I guess I'm in for either but yeah.
I mean, it's it's it's a lot more than just going in and coaching. Cheerleading. It's, you know, I mean, they're, they're, they're, I'm their loflin. I'm, they're all I have to, you know, make sure they don't sink and then that they stay afloat and, you know, they flourish. So I got to figure it out.
It's just so interesting because it's like, you know, we talk a lot about on this podcast and I wrote a book about codependents, which we define as the inability to tolerate the discomfort of others. You know, it's like my sort of big like life's work has been being able to tolerate the discomfort of others. Right. And letting them have the dignity of their own experience. You seem to have just inherently gotten that. And like, where are you ever like, that's too much, that's too like.
How do you know how do you inherently know that adversity is good for kids and people you know?
I don't know. I think just experience all that, all my years of coaching. And, you know, I mean, you just know what it takes to be a winner.
You learn through failures. I mean, honestly, that's the biggest thing, like losing, losing or looking back and realizing you didn't do something. It turned out differently than you thought it would. I mean, those are the biggest learning moments, right? I mean, that's how you learn. We all just were one all the time and everything was we know contrast. Yeah. We wouldn't have no reason to go. Oh, we should do better or no experience.
So I think just all my years of experience in, you know, learning through failures, learning through like, oh, that I didn't get the best out of that person. What did I do wrong? Because I even now, like, at the end of the season, I'm like, what could I have done better this year? You know, look back at each kid, like, did I get the best out of this?
It's so psychological is it is so psychological.
And we learned over the years, I mean, like most of a lot of our preparation is psychological, like we put ourselves and that's just from me go into competition and getting there and going, oh, this feels very different than it did at practice, you know what I mean? Because now I've got now you're here. Yeah. And so we try I've tried over the years to set ourselves up psychologically to be in that moment so that when we get there, it's not a big deal.
Yeah. So our preparation is very you know, it's it's we put ourselves in, we walk to we walk to the clock tower before we do a full out because you have to walk across the street from the warm up to where you perform. So I don't want them to go to feel like, oh, we just warmed up, but now we have to walk all this way. That's going to make me not be able to do my routine, you know.
Right. Right. So we we we we use a clock and we do, you know, minute by minute how the warm up is going to be. You have now you have two minutes to go the bathroom. That's how many minutes you're going to get today, you know what I mean? Like, that's just you want to feel rushed. Do you want to feel all that panic that you're going to do there? Yeah.
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I'm so fascinated by how you wrap, it's impossible to replicate the experience of Showtime, right? So it's like standups where we say like when you shoot a special, that's going to be your worst set because it's the first time you've done it this way. You've been practicing. That's what you know. Yeah, I think so much. Why I'm so obsessed with you is like it feels so much like standup because we spend a year practicing a special. You go all over the country, we practice, and then you have one shot one night and you tape it.
And then it's always going to be your worst because you've done it almost too much. And there's cameras flying everywhere and the audience knows there's cameras. So you can't really capture. Yeah. The true electricity of what it's like to do live.
But Floyd Mayweather would he practices he films himself live on Facebook and then has lots of hot girls watch like he does whatever he can to try to duplicate sort of the day.
Yeah, but there's really no way to create that environment now.
You can't create it, but, you know, just preparation to get as close as you can. Yeah. You know, and I definitely agree with I mean, we do this a lot too. During practice, we will go in and do pyramid reps and we, you know, over and over and over when we're really tired. Because if you can hit it, then. When you think about that one time, you have to do it when you're fresh and you have adrenaline and it's you know, we put ourselves through that a lot like we want to do, we want to do the routine when it's super hard.
We want to do the routine. When we're really tired, we want to do it. Yes, but you don't feel good today. Oh, well, sorry. What if you don't feel good that day? You're going to all you're doing is building confidence in yourself when you can do it, when you put it, if you do it, when you're in all these different situations, when you're tired, you're sick, you haven't slept, you're stressed out, whatever.
Because think of hard for every iteration of you.
Yes. And to me, that's the best thing you can do is prepare preparation. No curveballs. It's preventing curveballs. Yes. Because it's such a mental thing. As soon as something weird happens, then you put yourself and you start doubting yourself, you know, and I mean, with the sheer show in 2014 when Austin got hurt, had we not prepared so much for that competition, I don't know that we could have, under those crazy circumstances, gone through someone in the routine and came back and did the routine like we did.
If it weren't for the way we prepared.
I mean, what's going through your head when you're watching your kids in Daytona?
Like, are you like what goes on in your body? You know, like we need to do a brain scan. You watching the routine at Daytona?
I mean, it's such a weird feeling because. It's out of my hands at that point, like my part is done, it's done. I've just spent all these months putting everything that I had into the preparation. Of this moment, and now it's out of my hands, and so you just take a deep breath and I'm literally watching not for the emotional, you know, it's makes me emotional, but I mean, it's like I don't even get to enjoy it because I'm just like, did you hit?
Did you hit? Did you do. I'm watching all those things. And as we're like, checking them off, the you know, it's building up to that excitement. But wow, like when Austin got hurt, I was like, what? I was like, oh my God, he fell. And I mean, if he would have had the. Thought I mean, if I would have thought that he would ever have fallen there, he wouldn't be doing that part of the routine, you know?
That's right. That's right. And even there.
So for that to happen, I was like, oh, my God, he fell. And then I thought his shoe came off because he was trying to pop his ankle back into place.
And, you know, and I'm like, OK, shoe came off and I'm and I'm watching him. And then he starts hopping.
I'm like, OK, now he's hurt. And I'm like, he better hold this pyramid up.
He better make it to that barometer. But then they stop the music.
I was like, oh my God, I'm going crazy.
Just insane. Is it in Florida? What is Daytona? Is there like a significant you know, it used to be in Dallas when I first started. Twenty five years ago was the last the last time it was in Dallas. And I think they just wanted to. AMP it up, make it more appealing. I did in this, you know, to be just God, it's gotta be all about the environment. Sure. More cinematic, you know.
So it is what it sells because I always like Florida raids and it's humid because that's the first thing I was thinking was like, it's humid and they're going to slip past each other.
Well, the biggest thing is it's windy right next to the beach. And so, like, I always get really worried about two things, the wind and the sun, because it's outside and so dependent at four o'clock, that light could hit you.
So we always are like, what time are we going to be looking forward to the schedule coming out? Because there's a time of the day that when you throw those stunts up, the sun is a and and so we practice outside. That's why you see us practicing outside in the show, because we want to get and we put ourselves as much in the sun as possible so that that doesn't freak anyone out, you know, I mean, you just have to it's like it's it's weird.
It's you put them in every possible situation. It could happen.
Yes. Listen to this. This, I guess I should say this. We could cut stuff out. Well, anyways. Yeah, you can tell me too. I mean this. Yeah.
Because I haven't actually announced this yet, but we're building uh, we we just bought we haven't gotten it delivered yet. I've been trying to do this for three years and I finally got it approved, paid for and everything. But we had this person build us a stage that we're going to build outside like the like about three weeks before Daytona. They'll build it out, you know, in the show. We're in that parking lot. Yes. Yes.
You build it out there and we're going to practice on it. Because the other thing that's kind of strange and is when you go to finals, it's on a stage. So there's a little bit of a bounce. Yeah. And we don't ever get to that's the one thing that we can't ever you know, it's today. Yeah. Because we don't have a stage to practice on. And so that's the one thing that's always like, oh, I hope they like when Austin fell, like it's just different when you're tumbling and you punch.
So sometimes you could over you're used to punching so hard on that dead floor where you have no give and then you get up there on the stage and you've got adrenaline and you punch, you can easily over rotate. Just things can happen.
And so that's so wild that there's not some kind of, like, standard floor. Yeah, I would practice you don't have a heads up, so. Yeah. And so that's the difference between having an Achilles heel and not. Yeah.
So I mean I'm like if that's if we could only have a stage four years, I'm like we really need a stage to practice on. And but it's not just a stage. This thing is huge because it to put our entire floor on top of it, you know. So I've been I've been working on it for years, you know, gotten the, you know, like a plan made. I had to go get like an engineer to design it and the cost of it and stuff.
So I finally got it done. It covid we were supposed to actually have it before Daytona this year, but then it happened and things got weird. So some of their parts got delayed. So but anyway, it is in the works so hopefully it better be ready before this next.
I don't know what like I am so fascinated by what you do and I am going to ask some really dumb questions like it's like a question.
It's so, it's so interesting to me.
How do you know how long it's going to take for a routine to be learned? Well, once again, experience, I mean, that's, you know, because, like, I if I can say anything, it's my experience that really matters because I learn every single year I go, oh, what should I do different? You know? And we're in such a good we have such a good routine, not routine is like a structure to our practices now that our.
I know, but you know what? How many weeks out we should be looking like this or. You know what I mean. Yes. Yes. Like you have the markers in your.
And so I know like in the fall, I know how busy we're going to be. Normally not this year because of covid, but normally with all of our responsibilities, football, basketball, volleyball, community service. They're also something because I remember when we did your show on YouTube that year, chat or no, I was watching another chit chat and Gabby and everyone that was on or maybe I was just upset. I was just Googling you.
I was just obsessively Googling you. And there was something where Lexi and Gabby and you had to, like, learn a routine really quickly, like off tick tock and then just do it. Oh, that was a Netflix thing. I mean, I, I don't I remember just it was like, you know, the game, Simon Webber, when you had to like remember that. Yeah. Like they just did it, they watched it and they just did it.
And I was like, no, these guys would have taken me. Yeah.
A lot of these kids, they, they have so much experience like they've done cheerleading since they were little. They've they can learn a routine really quickly. And not only that, they'll like, especially the guys they'll learn, they'll know 20 different all star teams routines and they can come in and do the whole from beginning to end. The whole they'll mark the stunts, they'll do the the dance and everything. I'm like, listen, y'all can do that, but you can't remember your history for your history time.
Everybody can't remember you. You can't remember you and your girlfriend's anniversary, your girlfriend's birthday.
But there's I'm just obsessed with the braids of great athletes. And what makes them in a larger hippocampus are less likely to be activated amygdala, which makes them less fearful. Like I mean, it's just I'm just obsessed with. Yeah.
Their ability to do that. Yeah. Now they're there.
Yeah. Because Gabby, we were hot and she was like, sorry, I forgot what time it was. And I'm like, but you memorize that dance in ten seconds.
Oh bless her heart. She's just like she's so laid back to that she's like, like Gabby do you need me to call you and remind you.
But you know, I just think that like there were so there was so much healing that happened when I watched the show because, you know, Gabby's parents were so triggering to so many people.
And I'm so I talked about it on the podcast when it came out and I was defending them so much because, you know, it's like it just maybe it made me forgive my parents at a really big way. It's going to make me emotional because I remember just going like you're screwed if you do and you're screwed if you don't.
If you try to help your kids and if you show up at every practice, you're you're overbearing. And if you don't show up at all, you're a deadbeat dad. And it revealed a lot of sexism towards men that a lot of people don't talk about.
And she's in the shower. And you wouldn't talk to her in the shower. Like what? Like, why did your mind go there? Like, it was just like what?
I would love for my dad to come and say, let's get you know, so I just it was interesting how triggering it was to so many people.
Yeah. I had no idea that that people would be so triggered by them. Yeah. Because I guess I know them. Yeah. And, you know, that's just that's just who they are. Yeah. You know, but they love so hard. But it's also I think it showed us I think any time we get we get critical of other people because it's reminding us of something in ourselves that we do or we have. Right.
So I mean, you're so right. That's such a good point. You're you're damned if you do. You're damned if you do. Don't I remember and I got a really big fight with Bernard Shaw on the show about it because they were like he's they're pushing her too hard. It's like that's what makes excellence. Yeah. That's why she's her. She's getting like she's getting paid to hold up a bottle of shampoo. Yeah. Like she should be setting up an edible arrangement.
You know, so I just it really revealed like some double standards with fathers to me, you know, and I think there was just a lot of people projecting going like, well, why is why is he making her start a bikini line?
It was like, but what if she was a boy and he took her to every football camp from the age of five? Right. I mean, that's right. That's right.
You know, it happens all the time. Yes. So bring these kids up to be great at something. Yes. Yeah, that's that. She was just that was her talent. Yes. Yes.
So I it was just it's interesting how much that brought up, but it really, you know, because my dad was sort of uncomfortable with having girls and he we could only really connect through sports, through basketball, you know, that, because that's, you know, for men in that generation, it was a little bit like, OK, shoot the ball like. Like, that's how we connected, we were good at parties of dollhouses together. Also, when I saw their relationship, I just thought I thought it was awesome because, like, this is how he knows how to show love to his daughter.
And he's not treating her like a daughter. He's just treated her like his offspring. It's not. Yeah. Gender. You know, I just felt it felt awesome. Yeah. Now they are great people, great people.
And I think flawed parents make really good parents because then the kids start to develop survival mechanism and they get tougher and stronger. They just you know, they just put themselves out there. They don't care. And, you know, where some people try to be. So, yes, politically correct.
They don't give a shit because I'm like, I don't know people I know people like when I was a kid, you'd go to your your friend's house for a sleepover and the parents would be fighting like I know these knew they were being filmed when they were sitting on the couch and she was like, you tell the story, you don't start feeling so great about it.
I was like, I love that you guys are pretending you're the perfect. Yeah. All right. Exactly. Because that's I think if they had sat there have been like. Yeah. So anyway, honey, we would have been like there's something off about. Yeah.
Like either way we would have had some kind of criticism, you know.
So I think it's just like there's a it's a it's a no win for sure, a it's a really big cutaway.
And then also it's like I really had a really big breakthrough with watching it because my gut reaction was sexist. It made me realize, like because I grew up being jealous of the cheerleaders, I was a basketball player.
I when I lived in Roanoke, Virginia, the cheerleaders like, you know, I just had this thing about cheerleading, you know, stereotype definitely. Yes, for sure. I one hundred percent and that I love that it was obviously dressed in cheer and it it just. It made me it helped me evolve, it helped me grow and fortify it, just like, you know, I think I do sequins.
Why as soon as I see sequins, well, I get judged. It's because I think back in the day that's what cheerleading was that a long time ago. Yeah, it was a popularity contest. You go out from the school in the most popular girls make cheerleader right back a long time ago.
And I grabbed, I think, my come out come out in that break. The stereotypical you know, that's that's the story they don't like.
I have this thing in my head. The cheerleaders don't like me and I'm not cool enough. Yes.
And that's they're going to be mean to be in movies. Let's see. What happened was back in the in the 90s. Maybe late 80s, early 90s, all star cheerleading came about, so these now, now it's a huge, huge industry. But, you know, there's gyms all over the country where you can take your kid at one year old. I mean, Harold, but they start cheering doing these little teams, even when they're like three, you know, and they come up.
So these are kids.
These are kids from all different walks of life. You know, they're not the popular kids in school. They are just kids that some of them that's the only safe place that they know of. You know, maybe they're even different. They don't feel accepted in school, especially like some of the gay boys. I mean, like this is where they feel safe. And it's so it's not that at all. You know, you see all these broken kids and that's the one thing that they that keeps them.
That's their happy place. It keeps them going.
And so one place they have permission to be themselves. Themselves, absolutely. And so not masculine is not feminine.
You don't have to, like, you know, tackle other guys to be a man.
You know, you can dance, you can express yourself and you can have forded. It's like, you know, I look back now and you're making me think about it. Like at the time I was so.
I think so much of my jealousy around cheerleading was like, oh, those people are happy and joyful and they like themselves and they play.
And I didn't I'm sure of the irony. I projected that onto them.
You know, but there's like there's this freedom in it that I just I didn't understand, you know, and it's now I just it's just the coolest thing in the world to me.
Yeah. I mean, it really is. I was really happy you're flying.
I mean, it's literally you're making someone fly. Yes. It's just the ultimate freedom. It's so addicting. Like, cheerleading is so, so addicting.
When I get in these wormholes, I'll go to Lexia, Gabbie's Patra and then now my algorithm is like I'm really worried the FBI is watching me because I am like deep in, like, teenage cheerleader because I could not stop watching it.
And it is so satisfying. It's so. Yes. And you're doing it is so satisfying. Just being thrown in the air is so satisfying, like, you know, that small percentage that like I got such negative. I'm like I'm like you. I don't understand like have you not ever done anything you were so passionate about, even if it meant maybe you might fall and hurt yourself? I mean, worth it, you know what I mean?
Like, why do people go play football and get hit purposely? Because it's just the feeling. It's not the trophy, it's the feeling of earning the trophy. You know, it's also the you know, and I think Gabby said this at a caption, one that really helped me understand, I think cheerleading on like a cellular level. I was like about trust and the fact that you're you're literally trusting someone with your life. Correct. And that connection.
That intimacy. Mm hmm. You know, and it's like I tell anybody that I date, I always tell them, like I'm closer to a comedian that I've never met than I'll ever be.
Like, there's just an intimacy there.
That's just you will never understand. That's fine. It's like your t there is a closeness there, a type of family. Absolutely. That no one will ever understand. No one.
That connection and how wild that. Cheerleading, which is all about touch, and then the pandemic happened, uh. Wow, that was oh, gosh, this whole year.
And while it's a wild do you mean to talk about that like this, how this that I mean, that must have just been I mean, it was the first thing I thought like as soon as I heard it, I was canceling it, tried to cancel 50 Shades and all I could think about, I was like, what's going to happen is they have to touch each other.
Like it's all I mean, so many people in my life that, you know, love you. That's all we could think about. Yeah. I mean, we and it happened so fast, you know, we were already on this crazy ride with the show coming out. And Andy and I were working ridiculous hours because we were getting pulled in so many directions. We everybody wanted something. And, you know, why do you think it was so big?
I think I think because it showed it showed several things that showed that you can come from nothing, you can come from awful circumstances and you can still do something, you can still make something of yourself like that doesn't define who you are. Your past does not define your future. And I think it broke stereotypes of cheerleading it. You know, one of them, it showed you would work out pants.
It, um, you know, I had a lot of messages just about the fact when I was talking about how I had a conversation with my pastor about gay marriage. Yeah, I mean. That was so powerful to some gay people that really that reached out to me like, wow, we're that to hear someone that's a Christian that has that belief that is going to stand up for us is powerful. And I had and I was just talking like in that whole scene I didn't even realize was being filmed for that.
I was talking to Greg, the producer. We were just talking. I didn't know that that was going to be filmed. And even in the show, that's just who you are.
That was just talking about church is what I was talking about, because he was wanting to film me going to church, because it's also like I mean, it's just for me, there's a little bit of like a stereotype about Texas as something that is half from Texas.
There's a little bit of this like Texas people, you know, and I always like that's just, you know, my mom, we grew up, we had gay Christmas, you know, we had gay Christmas, but it was just a gay couple of friends. You know, this was like I think there's a little bit of bad PR around Texas. Yeah. And I think so this coming out and showing you. It's like that's the Texas I know.
Yeah. You know what I think I was like. Yes.
That finally not some stereotype about Texas being, like, not progressive. Yeah.
Yeah, right. Yeah. So, you know, like, I had had a lot of people reach out to me about that moment and just so many powerful thing.
Yeah. Just messages I think of hope. Yeah, of hope. And it's just thrilling.
It was just so thrilling.
It's just I mean I watched every episode in one sitting. I started it. I know I started it at like eleven o'clock at night and I was like everyone I was hearing about, it was like, I guess I have to watch those. And I watched it and I was screaming and crying and I was posting it. You saw like I just was like it was just it's everything.
It's everything. And then you tied up with the emotions of competition and I mean, you know, did you.
But it also it's just like this confluence of like everything I've worked so hard to try to understand and the way to change my brain and like how to be a and I hate I hate the phrase strong woman because it's redundant, but it's just like you have a hold of your space and being so clear and being so direct and being everything that should be. She's a bitch and no one called her a bitch.
My whole life has been trying to not be called a bitch like the fear of that word. If I'm too direct, if I'm a girl, that's a compliment. If I. Come on, come on. That's a compliment.
So but like it. I've just lived with this. Whether it's socially constructed or nature nurture, who cares? But I've been so conditioned to believe, like, you just can't be a bitch. Don't hurt anyone's feelings ever. You're a woman. You're supposed to make other people feel comfortable. I like watching you be in that position of power.
And it was just it was it all the way I have ever dated, just like like that's it. I got it. It all crystallized for me and all of it clicked. Thank you. Like that's what I want to be. And a little clumsy.
I love it. Relatable.
I did that on purpose to be charming. Oh definitely clumsy. So I think but I think you're such a big part of it because everyone went like that bitch. That's what I want to be.
There's not that bitch.
There's not a lot of female role models that don't feel fakie right now. And so you just came in at a time. Thank you. I mean, that's a huge compliment. I appreciate. I agree. I do. And like I said, I just. I never knew that I was supposed to be feel any different. You know what I mean? Yes, yes. Yeah, you were set. You're a conductor like you were chosen. Like, I know none of this is conscious of this is like you were calculating doing this.
This is just too far.
Like, honestly, when they came approached me about it, which I think I got off topic and never finished that.
That's what this is what I guess is just being off topic. It's a tangent after tangent.
When they approached me about it, I was like, this is a great opportunity to recruit. I mean, my team is so incredible and we have this special thing. I don't even know what it is, you know, whatever you want to call it.
But we're special. I knew we were special. I mean, I'm like we come in here. The work that we do like the bond that we have, the family that it is, it's special. Yes. I would love for people to see that, you know. Yes, I know you all want to do a documentary on a cheer team. That's good. Yeah. Yes. I want to take that opportunity and, you know, show the world this special program that I have.
And it's going be great for recruiting, you know. Yeah. Yeah.
That cheers. All been cheerleaders. I'll watch it. Yeah. And actually, I was even just hoping that because you never know. Yeah.
Hopefully cheerleaders will watch this documentary because I never in a million years thought someone that wasn't interested in cheerleading would watch the metaphor for everything though. It's a metaphor for every visit I had.
You know, I had no idea that was my thinking going. I learned things watching this that were like applicable to, like running my business. Yeah, I just but I had no idea.
You're only as strong as the weakest link. Yeah. In every part of your business, your family, everything. Yes, for sure. And it's also like this is I'm already sniffily and being emotional, but it's like I like there's this moment where I'm thirty eight years old. I came up at a business that I was very pitted against other women and I grew up sort of just being taught.
Women are your competition, whether it's for a man, whether it's for a job, whether it's for attention or whatever.
It is a lots of, you know, weird shit with women. We all do. Right. And I in the last couple of years, like I've had the shift of like of growth, of learning, like like supporting women is is self care. You know, like I like I've been able to undo some of this nasty programming around women.
And because elevating other women makes just fills me up, you know, and get her up there.
Yeah, I know there is such a it's like my life model. It's like get out there. Yeah. Like, whether it's a female comedian that I like, what a producer special or a female like get her up there and it's like a writer that can't get their show bad. I'm like, I'll produce that, let's get her up there. Like get her up. There is like my whole. Oh my gosh. Now I'll get her up there, you know.
So it's like elevating other women and men. And of course to it's this isn't about gender really, but it's just like and then you, like, just get her up there like it's just there's just so many metaphors that made so many things click for me. It's like what you did is it's just so important to people that I know nothing about cheerleading. Yeah.
And I had no I had no idea. Yeah. Like honestly I had no idea. I know. And like I said, I think I've been working on the project for so long. Twenty, seventeen. That's a long time ago. And then I had to oh it was just crazy because my, our president at the time was super conservative. It was like, oh, I don't think he would ever go for this.
Yeah, but but my athletic director at the time was very supportive and he was like, oh, we need to you need to do this. And so we had multiple conversations and then they wanted to come out and film us in the twenty eighteen just to see if we were a good fit for each other. And then they said, yes, we want to go with you all, we want to send over contract. And, and then we had a new president come in, a new athletic director come in.
So it just took, you know, took a while. But, you know, they finally agreed on everything and then we filmed it once again. I'm only thinking in terms of cheerleading, this is a great platform. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, we're like when it came out, I was like, mean. I watched it before it came out. I got to see it before what I did. Was there anything that you were like?
Did you know? I mean, obviously I didn't had no. I mean, we just 100 percent trust in them, like we're trusting you because that could go a lot of different ways. Yes. Yes, it can. And so we put one hundred percent trust in them and I had nothing to hide. I'm like proud of this program and, you know, so put it out there. But I mean, I cried multiple times watching it just because, you know, I know these kids.
But when you hear them talk, when you see them and they're they're crying and you see their family, it just hits.
You probably saw people talking about you, not around you for the first time. Yeah, but, you know, I. Tough skin to. I don't like people talking about how much they revere you and look up. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But they need your approval. I already knew I probably wasn't a surprise.
Wasn't a surprise. No, because, you know, we are we talk we tell each other what we think all the time. You know what I mean. What good or bad. Yeah. And so I definitely knew that I felt that way about me. I mean that's why I do the job right.
Pressure. You just don't pressure doesn't compute. It's, you know, no pressure. It does. I mean, but I think that's you know, it's so weird because I especially been out here these past few weeks. I'm like, what am I learning about myself? You know? And I feel like one thing that I kind of have felt is that. I think because of my job and me wanting to be such a good role model for these kids, it's really kind of defined my almost my personality a little bit.
And who I am right now, like where you might want to say something really raunchy on social media or something, you know, you're like, oh, I can't say that yet. I mean, you have to think about your influencing and or whatever, you know? And I'm like, you're conscious of your impact. Yes. And I think that I've been that way for a long time because I know they're looking at me and that they're looking like, what would Monica do?
So I have to live my life. I can't just come into practice. I know them that I have to actually look at.
I mean, that's a spin off of what would Jesus do? Well, OK.
Well, you're not going to see it. I'm just saying.
But like, you're all the same level as I'm the same when you're impacting kids and they're not they're not going to listen to you in practice if they don't see you living those words. You know what I mean? Yes. And so when I'm saying, hey, work hard now, you know, you can be successful at anything you want. You know, like you have to put the time and the dedication or whatever or don't go out and do this crazy thing or whatever.
Well, I have to be walking that path. And so that's part of the what drives me. I'm like, I need these kids to see what hard work looks like, you know what I mean? And so but I think it might have I don't know, I just have really been analyzing, like has that like like molded my personality a little bit like made me even more serious than my person, you know, like I know I'm already kind of a serious personality, but would you know, where would I have gone if I would have been in a different you know, if you were you didn't have so many eyes on you.
Correct. You know, and in response, I mean, that's a huge responsibility when you even if it's just one person, when you're trying to influence someone that's young and they're they're at crossroads, like what how their future is going to go.
You know, it's like the kind of thing where it's like you're a hero to everybody else, but then your own kid, like like I'm just so fascinated by. Because you're just mom at home. Yeah, just mom. Yeah. But, you know, I think they are super proud of me and I think they have that same level of respect. They've seen firsthand the sacrifices that I've made for my job and you know, how hard I work.
They're the ones that see that I don't come home till late at night. Yeah. Multiple times a week or whatever. You walk the walk, you know, and I don't or I have to miss this family event or that or that party or this because I'm working. Mixed nuts coffee.
Wait, are Buffalo thought melatonin, these are not on camera because you only hear on camera for you to take off, but can you show them to the camera?
No, you have to give them to you.
Lemonade. Oh, OK.
So I am peanut butter. Such a sucker for packaging and pepper.
OK, ok, the tuna. OK, I'm talking about the tuna for months. Unbelievable.
It comes in a box. I'm obsessed with public goods that comes in a box.
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Hicky know, but it's just it's like I this is my dream, OK?
My hydration models from there too. Yeah. Hydration bottle. So here's the deal. Life is so stressful and chaotic. And what I love about this company is public goods. Everything is simple.
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It makes me feel like I'm in like a Scandinavian museum. Yeah, it's all very like you open my cabinets and I feel like I got everything curated for me. I feel like someone came in my house and curated each product.
The way that products are marketed to us now are so insulting and the way they're packaged, it's like screaming at you. It's yelling, it's tacky.
I don't like they're trying to get my attention.
This let me pick the pieces like the feels of it, like it's a rustic Zen, modern, clean.
But because it's like I work so hard to clean my house to make sure my space is peaceful. And then I pull out of ketchup bottle and it's just like covered in confetti and ugly ass purple colors. And I'm like, you just ruined my house.
But beyond that, I mean, read the back of that bottle. There's nothing there's no preservatives all.
See, it's like what you see is what you get. Yeah.
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Great. That packaging is direct. Oh yeah. I bought the toothbrushes, the toothpaste, the shampoo.
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And then this is like this looks like you got it from the most expensive store around. But it was it's not expensive, wildly affordable. I think the razor blades are a dollar.
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What do I know the most about that. And what are you the most about.
Well, I mean, you know the most about spiraling. I mean, what what the brain would I be if I wasn't a comedian, a center, you know, the most about pets.
I feel like I'm a doll. I'm a dog lady. Animal behavior is my thing. That's my obsession in life. And the thing that I think the biggest disconnect between people, they're animals. They assume that dogs, their pets are. Like, have the same brain they do, yeah, they're in the same emotional state is never, never in the same mental state and dogs get bored, they get bored.
And a lot of the maladaptive behaviors that you're seeing, whether they're chewing your shoes or they're chewing your couch or they're chewing your rug or they're barking or they're running in circles like they're just fucking bored and have to do something. And we want our dogs. We want a remote control.
Our dog, they don't have our life. They need something to do that we want them to be robot dogs. And they we want them to love us. We like them when we want them to like us, love them when they want to. But that's not you know, we had those robot dogs the night.
I don't know what it Brownmiller is.
They don't know we're busy on a call. You know, they're going to bark. So I'm very into this. It's an it's a mat. It's called an IQ treatment. Hyper pet. Yeah, I am on antibiotics so I can't pronounce it great.
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You can't just get a dog and not give them something to do all day. They're bored. You're boring, you're on your phone all day. It's the least you can do for your dog. Why is my dog so crazy? Why is my dog biting people? Because you're fucking bored. I'm fascinated.
I remember watching when you guys was. Is it what's is it for? What's the thing where they walk the cows around. Yeah. Yeah, like watch it. Like, I am so curious about your relationship with animals and your daughter's relationship with animals, because I think it's so key for young people to be around powerful animals at. Yeah. Boundaries. It teaches you how you regulate, teaches you how to be decisive. It teaches you how to rely more on body language that verbal, you know, like it just raises strong bad ass people.
And so I was just curious that.
Yeah, I mean, she's done both of both. Both my kids did fine. My daughter did it wait longer than my son. But since they were old enough, which is like third grade or something, so they've had animals to raise where it started off with some rabbits and. Gosh, Ali's stunned rabbits, pigs. She did steers the past when she, you know, all through high school. Yeah. Oh, those were her babies. And that was a neat relationship because this huge, powerful animal, she'd be asleep laying down on love, that they would be both laying on the ground together, just awesomeness.
And and, yes, that teaches such responsibility, consistency. They say what you mean to be what you say.
A lot of times you were taught to say like, oh, no, thank you.
It's like there's a incongruence between what you're saying and how you're saying you get it. And the animals, especially large, powerful animals of prey animals, they teach you that your body language is everything and your body control and the difference between your shoulders. I remember I was working with my liberty trader, with my horse, and I couldn't get my horse to look at me and sort of respect me. And it was like the difference between my shoulders being here and here, like posture.
Yeah. I was just sort of like, why would this animal respect you? Yeah. Like yourself. No. Teaches you like the way you feel about yourself, how the animal feels about you and how how contagious our energy is, our nervous energy, our positive energy and negative energy. Like I remember the first time I went in to do that kind therapy thing. The whole session was just an hour standing with a horse in a room. And whenever I would be insecure or scared or my thoughts would be like, I wish this horse would come near me, it would just walk away because they're so repelled, they're because they're prey animals.
They've evolved to move away from fear. Yes. And our insecurity ultimately is just fear our parasympathetic nervous system, like we're just making Cortazar eye any kind of need or desperation they're disgusted by, frankly.
So he'd move away and then you move away and I go, you know what, fine. I'm not going to be around this horse today. I guess this horse doesn't like me. It's fine. I'm just going to stay.
And then it would walk close to me because I was being, like, self-aware and I had surrendered to it, you know?
So it's just like it's it's just wild. Wild how wild. How I think powerful that is. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, and we're the our whole family, big animal lovers. And I think the whole FFA thing, just such a it just raises good kids. You thought of the kids. They're good people. When they when they do that. Yeah. They're responsible. They like you said, I mean teach us so many different things.
So what is what happens after Deverill. What I mean not thank God for Instagram that they're going to all start brands and have their own lines. Yeah.
Um you know, I mean most of them go off and, and you know, charity university.
Um but the neat thing is I have, we have such a close alumni group, you know, we have a Facebook group, we talk all the time, even kids that were on the team twenty five years ago when I first started. So. Oh, yeah. But you're not getting messages a lot about how they, you know, got a promotion at work.
And it was because of the work ethic that they learned at Navarro and just things like that. So even if they go off and do whatever, I feel like they take a piece of something that they've learned from the program and from me with them and, you know, are grateful for it.
So what do you think you're competitive like?
What is it that's it inherent?
I think so for sure, because I've always been competitive. I like that too. I'm the one I root game night. Yeah, I'm the one that ruins game. I like the rules are the rules for a reason. I'm the one that's got the tyber, the sad. Like I got like I lose Freds a game night.
Yeah that's. Yeah that's me too. Yeah. I mean what is that. What is definitely in here. I mean you're either laid back and luckily it's whatever or you're like yeah no I'm in it to win.
Yeah. No I've lost many friends at game nights because I like you fucking cheated. Get the fuck out of here. I'm calling the police like I get so competitive.
That's hilarious. It's wild. I'm just so curious.
There must be a biological basis for it goes back to why do we love football.
Yeah, it's just crazy. I don't know. I think definitely inherent for sure. I don't think you can force yourself to be that crazy.
Yeah, but have you lost any friends that have been jealous of your assent? I don't think so.
Like, has there been any reorganization of your sort of like surroundings?
Like, I do find when people get success very quickly, you find out sort of, you know, I mean, I keep my my close friends, my circle small. Yeah. I'd rather have four quarters and pennies. Right.
And hold on. Hold on. That's some like fucking Texas wisdom. OK, I'd rather have four quarters than a hundred pennies or.
Love it, that is like some Texas Bostitch, which I love, Texas wisdom, rather, have four quarters and one hundred pennies.
So good, right though I mean, so good. So I mean, my friends are gone. They're just so supportive. I mean, me coming out here for Dancing with the Stars, let me tell you, my whole community and town went crazy when I got in the bottom two a couple of weeks ago.
They they have it on the school district's website. It's Monica mandates for Monaca. Yeah, they would. Everyone wore red. All the kids were red to school. Like the you get those photos will put them on.
Community went crazy in support of me. I was overwhelmed by the amount of love and support of people that I don't even know, calling me, calling me their girl, my girl, you know, and I'm just like that. So at nothing I've not I mean, just so proud, you know, I've not seen anything negative. I've not seen anyone change the way that they treat me anything. They've been the best small town greatness.
Small town greatness. Yes.
That's I think that's a I think one of the awesome things about being from a smaller town that people just have each other's back. And what is this? Because I'm obsessed with how we've been conditioned to not trust our guts and our intuition. You see, you're so connected to your intuition. We talk about the gift of fear on this podcast a lot, just about how sort of we've over mythologised a lot of our feelings. You know, women, if you have a feeling you're calm down, relax, you're crazy, you're psycho, you're sensitive.
All these things with those are actually super powers.
You are super powers that we should be like, you know, we tend to minimize them. Oh, I'd be crazy. I'm flattering myself. You know what? We think someone's dangerous.
Oh, who do I think I am? He's not. You know, he's happy. So we talk about that a lot. Like I remember the moment when the Morgan moment when you, like, saw something in her. What is that clairvoyant thing? You just have an instinct and you just don't doubt your instinct. I mean, I think there's always you always doubt yourself a little bit and everything, but like, have you ever been wrong?
Have you ever been like there's something more that you're like, I was wrong. I mean, of course, I'm sure I think I don't think so. I know you're trying to be humble. I don't think so. You know what my dad used to always say? It's so funny. He used to always say I've been wrong one time in my life. And it was when I thought I was when I thought I was wrong. But I was really right.
Taxes with them. So, yeah, I mean, no, I mean, obviously, I'm sure I've been wrong before, but I mean, I do have a good instinct and I can sometimes you put people in the team that you've never met before through video or something like that, that that person didn't give me what I thought just because I didn't get to actually meet them in person. Yeah, you know what I mean?
And I also was thinking about you so much, because when people on the team like, don't get along or don't have good chemistry, my instinct to be like I have to make them like you're you just let them work it out, right?
Yeah. And once again, I like to communicate like but I like to communicate like it's I don't know if, like, it's good to embarrass someone because, you know, it's it doesn't it. No it doesn't. So like, I'm not a big yeller. I mean, yes, I yell when it's necessary or when, you know, I can picture it.
You know, there's moments that happen when it's like your what's your third rail that will get you fucking mad. It's when I when I've dealt with something for a long time and then it's, you know what I mean. Like, if if I've tolerated your shit for a long time and in your acting, you know, whatever. And then I've tolerated as much as yes. You're allowed to get the wrath of me, you know what I mean?
So but but most of the time, I like to pull people to the side, have a conversation and say, look, let's what's going on? Like what? What do we need to do? And if there's two people that are not getting along, usually I'll have a conversation with each of them separately and go, OK, what, like you just don't like.
You heard somebody say that. Somebody said, because usually that's not even true. Yeah. Let's get it on. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know. Yeah. And normally, like, it's always some something that's not even like an issue and it's or came from a certain. Yeah. Just some kind of childish B.S.. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And we can work it out but at the end of the day if you just don't like each other that's fine too.
Yeah that's fine. You don't always have to like each other but we have to work together. Yep. And that and respect each other and respect each other and that's going to have to be something you have to do for the rest of your life because there's going to be jobs, there's going to be whatever positions you're put in where you don't necessarily like the person. But you'll have to your your teammates. Yeah. In business or whatever. Yes.
And your goal is the same and you'll have to get the best out of each other.
So I love that because we get notified about this a lot, because this next generation, you know, it's all about I'm authentic and my feelings matter. And I can I you know, I can't I'm not going to be uncomfortable, which I appreciate that this next generation is pushing back on some of the like, normalizing abuse and normalizing abuse of power and all this stuff. But there's also and I always feel like I being so like not pissy and traditional and I'm like, yeah, but sometimes you have to pretend you like people you don't like, like you can't go on their job and be like, well, I'm being authentic and I don't like you.
It's like, well, then you're going to get fired, you know, because this isn't an I mean, unless you're working for yourself and you have no one to do. Yes.
I mean, don't do that in your relationships that are don't pay you. But if the check is clearing, sometimes you're going to have to. That's what teamwork is about.
And so accept radical acceptance and Gogu. Like, I don't have to like you to get along with you. I respect you.
Yeah. So, I mean, I agree. Let's let's find some common ground on where we need to be. Yeah. Like on this movement of.
And then has social media been a problem at all in terms of distractions like I when I do television shows and I think I've, I've been overly draconian about this because I'm a control freak, but I'd be like no phones like because they threaten me and make me because I know how distracted I get. Yeah. When I get on the phone or what I you know, and so I was like, no phones.
You know, do you have codes of practice, are you like is that to turn them off on practice? And if the phone goes off, then the whole team has to do back text at the end of practice.
So long. Yeah, because it is a distraction. Yes, sure. Your phones have to go off when you were in practice. You don't get on your phone during practice unless we're doing like choreography. That's like five hours long. OK, you have five minutes. Go chill, get on your phone, whatever.
But other than that, no, you're not on your phone at half time or like running businesses off of your right hand.
You know, every once in a while they'll say, hey, I have to take this medicine. Can I turn my alarm on to remind? Yes, go ahead. That's not a problem. Or hey, my mother is going to call me because I have this important whatever. Yeah, that's fine. Or put it right by me when it rings, I'll give it to you. I mean, love is love it. You know, there are things that matter.
But just on a normal day. Like dangerous.
Yeah. Should be that distracting. Yeah.
So no phones often and yes. There's punishment if you, if your phone goes off when it's when, if it rings or whatever, when it's supposed to be turned off.
So what's the worst injury you've ever seen.
Oh um I have seen, I ever seen a bone come out of the skin. No, never seen a bone come out of the skin. I've seen some fingers like that or point in different directions.
But, you know, that's actually a minor injury. Yeah. It's really freaky to look at. Yeah. But normally it's, you know, just easily pop back in and then it just might hurt for a few days. But I've definitely seen some fingers go in different ways.
In some I've seen some teeth knocked back where we were doing a basket toss in.
The girls feet didn't make it through, so they hit one of the guys and he had these beautiful straight teeth and had braces.
Oh, they were all oh oh oh oh oh oh.
We got him quickly into a dental surgery. Yeah. They got them put back in the fold, put some chick lit in there. Yeah. We got, we got that one fixed up. So that was kind of, you know, gruesome to look at. Shabazz you know, that was actually filmed. Your elbow was dislocated and. Yeah, I mean I knew that I, I try not to freak out because it just makes it worse. Yes.
And so I looked at our our student trainer and I was like, because the hospitals are like this bad.
But, you know, you got what I think I said we're we're just going to go get it looked at. It's it's it's a little swollen.
You know, you have to because, you know, you're freaking out. It's like facing a different direction. And I'm like that it's either broken or definitely dislocated. I don't know if that should be broken, like but I'm like I'm talking with my eyes to Kiki.
I was like, oh yeah. So yeah. But I mean, I can't panic because somebody else is.
You inherently know that if you panic and this is what I learned from prey animals being around horses, if you panic, I just make everything exacerbating the situation.
And you know, I got a lot of hate like that hate that I got was, you know, you don't care about the kids know they don't you don't go out. I'm like, well, that's not my job to go, not the trainer. And you're going to make it worse if you go and panic. And if Monica goes over, goes, oh my God, everyone's going to be freaked out. Right. And so, I mean, yes, when I feel like something serious, I will definitely go over there and I'll be the first one to like it's going to be OK.
You know what I thing you can do is actually just stay calm. Yeah.
So that because a lot of times and you know, that's inherently like injuries like, you know, I had my ear bitten off.
Oh my God. Oh my. Oh my God. What am I rescues. And it didn't hurt until I other people started for.
It causes panic because we have a this sort of self-preservation instinct where oxytocin will be sent to the wounded. Actually, you don't really. Yeah, I saw it in the mirror and I saw it hanging off my head and I was like felt it and I felt the blood. And then I started driving myself to the hospital. And then I, I started getting really shaky, like I just had so much adrenaline is sent to the place. So it kind of feels good.
And then I had to stop at this construction site like a one way thing.
And the construction worker looked at me and it was like because I was like covered in blood. Your ears bleed like a lot. And then I was like, oh, it hurts when someone else panicked.
Yeah, because and that's exactly why I try to not show any emotion or at least stay positive. Yeah. Oh yeah. You know, instinctively that that's. Yeah.
And so I was confused on you know, of course I'm watching the show and I know what role I see my ear that.
Yes. Oh, oh, oh, wow. It looks great. Look, thank you. So, yeah, I got that. Wow.
Totally stitched back up, but yeah, it was like this. It made me realize, like, you're not really in pain until other people. And that's why they say, like when your kid falls, you don't go, oh god, are you OK?
You're just it took me a while with my nieces to not freak out when a kid falls because they look at you to figure out how to react.
Exactly. And I don't I don't react and I'm always try to stay calm. It's going to be fine. It's probably not a big deal because I think a lot of times to the kids freak out because not because of the pain they they instantly go to. I'm going to be taken out of the routine. I can't perform, you know what I mean? And that that to them is bigger than the injury, the injury. And so we definitely don't want to cause that panic.
Oh, it's nothing or whatever. Yeah. But I was shocked at the people that they just don't know.
They're just that's just ignorant. Yeah. Yeah. I was like yeah.
What. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean people are allowed to be wrong people sometimes. Yeah. But just like.
Yeah. Mean I know they showed and that's like what time we fell.
Probably not all the one thousand times we got it right. I know. I saw that when you on the AOL build you were talking about that, about how like they of course they're going to show the following the most single time.
Yeah. You know but but people took falling as like I got really ugly. Like even someone comment on my Dancing with the Stars post and said, I hope you break all your bones like you make your cheerleaders or something. I was like, first of all, I haven't had a broken bone in a long time, OK? I mean, my kids like we don't break. Yeah. Like we you know, we not torn ACL tumbling, but that's not me.
Like, it just means you're famous.
It's that's all it is like it's like that. Think of how much pain you think of how sad your life has. We go out of your way. But it's also it's also they love you. They watched all of us here and now they're watching you. They follow you. I mean, they're obsessed with you. News, new series like everyone that hates you loves you.
Maybe because you are they in my page out to leave me some and they watch all of shit. Thank you. I just thank you so much. Anything you write on my page means you love me. It is just so funny because it's like I have this new relationship with negative comments where it's like if you don't agree with them, they can't hurt you, you know what I mean? That's the only time they can really hurt you is when they say something you agree with.
Yeah, but I realize this first thing that it was like, oh my God, where do you like you're getting older. And I was like and I was like, at first it hurt because that is a woman that's like my. And then I was like, I would hope so.
Otherwise you're dead. I don't know what if I wasn't getting old or that the only thing weirder than getting old, not getting older like so was just like everything you insult me with is it's just hard. I think once you if you're just living authentically and doing the best you can with the tools you have, like people can't get you unless you're keeping secrets and being authentic, that's when people really were able to hurt me, you know, and it's sort of like, yeah, there's something just so liberating about just seeing the root of the negativity.
Yeah. Which is just there in pain. I agree.
And I mean, I'd like to talk to you all you want if this makes you feel. But if that made you feel better, that's my thing. Like I just I'm sort of like because self righteous indignation and criticising and judging people, it's a drug. I mean it makes you feel better about yourself when you're that's what and it's so weird to me.
Like, I would never like I like to uplift people. Like I'm not insecure. Yeah. Get her up there. Get her up. Get her up there. You're up there. Yeah. But you're alien. You're a freak. You're Texas freak. All that Mr.
PEB that you had in utero to hang all that sugar something. How are your parents. Good.
Well, my dad had a stroke like five years ago, so he's you know, he's not doing that great.
And is it did he lose function? He lives by himself. Still, that's questionable. I've been talking to the doctors about should we have him in assisted living? I think it's getting close to that. Yeah, it really messed up more mentally. Like he he our role switch. We take care of him. Yep. Yep.
It's a it's a wild moment in my life.
When that role reversed, both my parents had and he was such a strong he was the leader. Like I said, that was the he's never been wrong. But one time, you know, when we got what he thought it was wrong. Yes. That was the person I looked up to, you know, and suddenly overnight switched. And now we take you become a parent. I do. As finances. You know, my sister does all the doctor appointments and stuff like that.
It's just bizarre. So surreal. Yeah. And so it's like it's almost like I lost my father. That moment when he had that relationship was no longer was gone, so.
It's it's been hard, I mean, like, hard. It's been really hard, my mom, they're divorced, so my mom is I mean, yeah, she's remarried and, you know, that's a very normal relationship and stuff like that. And actually, it's very strange because the divorce wasn't necessarily it wasn't awful, but it wasn't the friendliest. I mean, but now she helps us take care of my dad, like her husband will go take my dad to get his haircuts.
So fuckin text is so awesome just to radically forgive and stay close.
I mean, it was not hold up exactly because the first few years were like weird like, OK, we've got to have a birthday party for these parents now. We need to do a different, you know, the kids, they can't all come to, you know, strange. Yeah. So we worked through that and got to the point where we could have, you know, all of our Christmases together. We could do stuff together. We could have five kids.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then after my dad had the stroke, like I said, my mom, like, really stepped up and her husband and they, you know, especially when he's having a bad day. My sister and I. Can you come help us. We don't know what to do and she'll come over. So I mean, it's been it's been great. So long wild.
So it's great life while I mean, it's just a real last thing I'm going to say.
I don't have to let you go at some point. I've kept you for so long. But my I just want to run through a couple of my childhood things with you. Six Flags over Texas. Yes. Was my childhood.
I remember I remember being going on the they would brag that the the Tex the Big Tex was the only wooden roller coaster giant that is giant.
What was so fun about it is you would it would shake when you were already it was so poorly made. Hash tag, Texas. That's part of the that's part of the scare. The fraud is that is that you could collapse at any moment going to fall apart. That's still there. Yeah. That's so far Texas.
Yeah. That's awesome. Right. And then my childhood was a lot of trying to get in the car, but the handle was too hot.
Oh yeah, definitely. I guess that's all that's going on. You you can't have leather seats, you know, you can't you have towels on the seats. There was a lot of towels on seats. Yeah. Getting in the car in Texas in the summer is in July and August are kind of rough.
Hey I October one year when I was at a football game and the soles of my boots melted off in October.
It was so hot I thought, you know, October would be fine. No, I thought I'd stepped in gum and because I was walking a street and I look down in the soles were like hanging off my boots. I had to tape them on with athletic tape.
The fact that you're wearing cowboy boots that I'm Tober is the wild is part of this story. Can we get her some flip flops?
So now full circle Joe Rogan has moved to Austin. A lot of people are moving to Texas because of crazy California taxes and stuff. It's always been in the cards for me to move back to Texas.
I was looking at places in Austin a couple of years ago still.
Where do I go? Oh, gosh. Well, am I a Dallas person? Am I a Houston person? You're you're a Dallas person because that's much closer to me.
Yeah, that's all I need to know. But are you ready for this influx of California leotards?
It depends on who you are.
Yeah, we got to have some Texas, you know.
Yeah. I mean, Texas is very friendly. We we love everybody. It's bizarre when you go. No, I know. Every day and you're like, oh no.
I remember growing up my aunt my Aunt Sandi, who's in Sherman, Texas, my uncle worked for Texas Instruments making calculators.
And she would I remember as a kid, we'd be like all the way to whatever the Piggly Wiggly or wherever where I would shoplift. I owe them so much money. Sorry, guys. Like I'll hit my wallet.
Your Vanimo, she would like pick up people off the street. I mean she would like pick up hitchhikers like I was just like as a kid you're like what are you. She just ended it was stopping by and dropping off some cake and dropping off. So it was like we were always just going to the grocery store. We would drop by people's houses unannounced. Yeah. With anchorman's cakes and cookies.
And it was always like, we got to stop by and bring these cookie. And after big meals, it was always wrapping up in Tupperware because we're bringing it to the neighbors. And I was like, do you know these people? Like, I had to bring stuff to neighbors.
I was just the amount of kindness. Yeah.
I mean, we're kind people.
And so, you know, I can remember going to like New York and being like, hi, you know, friendly conversation with someone at the stone based. And I'm like, oh, OK. They're not having a good day. No, I mean it, L.A., like it's Yuya in L.A. If someone says hi to you, you're like, are you a Scientologist or are you trying to get me into a cult like you?
So you get very suspicious.
Yeah, it's it's strange because I like to smile and, you know, thank you and whatnot.
And they're like, no, no, no taxes. Like everyone's your family right away for sure.
Take care of each other. Have each other's back. That's right. Yeah, that's right. So if you have that kind of attitude, you can move to Texas.
If not, fuck out of here. Yeah, she could. She's got a gun on her bed. I get by. OK, so you're going back. Thank you for doing this.
No, thank you for having me. I mean, I've been looking forward to for how many months.
I mean, this this is like this is this is my this is why I mean, this is just surreal for me.
Oh, you've had such a big impact on me. Well, thank you. I had no idea. I appreciate it. I mean, I did not know when we made the documentary that that, you know, it would be so impactful.
Well, just had so many women can go. You can be beautiful and strong and decisive and feminine and masculine and direct and wear knee high boots and be gorgeous and wear the equipment, blouse and tight jeans and fuck and be a mom and a sex symbol. You could be all of it because. Why not. Yes. And you can look beautiful and wear sparkles and sequins like you can do all of it.
Because it was at a time where I feel like there was this this narrative going where it's like to be a strong woman, you had to look a certain way and act a certain way. And you had to you weren't allowed to have feminine qualities. Yeah. And you are like no feminine qualities is what's so powerful, right?
Yeah. And nobody should tell you what you should be. Yeah. And I've had this whole thing. I mean, when I started standup, I was like, I can't wear makeup. I have to hide my body afterwards. I have to wear a hoodie, I have to wear flats, I have to wear sneakers. I mean, me, when I started doing standup, I look like one of the kids from Stranger Things. I mean, I was like hiding my femininity because I thought femininity I was was weakness and it was something to be ashamed of.
Wow. They're not weird that Fiza sick. Yeah. That kind of in cheers like it's like, well, it's just relentless femininity like that.
Strong and awesome. I mean it's just like it's it's huge. It's huge. Boys can channel their femininity and it's strong and awesome. I mean, like, like, it's just like whatever you are it's fucking awesome. Exactly.
Chris, thank you for sitting through all this, having me in the room. Thank you for showing me that men aren't trash.
I'm not kidding. I'm not I'm not kidding. It's I've had a lot of and I know a lot of women can relate, like it's I've seen a lot of bad marriages end in divorce and a lot of women that come from that like have this narrative that men are bad and men don't want to be in relationships with women if they're can shine and they get like, just you.
Really help rewrite my paradigm about men. Well, I appreciate that I'm here to support her, you know? Yeah, I think she's doing so. I mean, how can you not be fired up and be in her corner 100 percent?
So to be in her court, like, that's just so. It's just really power, it's really powerful and poignant for me to see that and you being a part of, like, changing like so many young girls watched your watch the show and so many young girls watched the show and know that that's what a relationship should look like.
The guys should support the girl.
And I didn't learn that. Oh, so you're.
I know. So here you're teaching a lot of young women how they should be treated and what they deserve.
So to me, that really you should sit on the couch and compliment his wife.
That's not the real man. Every day he literally is the best.
Yeah. I mean, you make it easy to be a good husband, but it's really that's just not something that's been in the zeitgeist.
It's like the man, you know, the man comes, you know, the woman acquiesces to the man on the man's schedule scare.
It's just that's what I saw.
And I didn't see a man cheering a woman on and wanting her to win and succeed. Wow.
Which I can understand. I mean, I guess her parents and mean you look back, you know, the older generations may have been that example that you gave, but, you know, yeah, we're realists and we respect each other.
And I mean, because there's this any other way. I did this and I did a special about it where it was like because I was so off or at least what I saw was so off, I did this whole especially like men don't like strong women, like a lot of people, like a lot of women are afraid of shining bright and getting bigger because they're afraid it's going to like emasculated man. Like we have this, like, false narrative that don't shine too bright.
You know, don't be alpha because weird.
It's so weird. Like, I just it's some shit.
It's about all that. Like, I come down, they want their women making money. Yeah. And shit being out there at work that threatened. I know.
Like they're like I just think it's important that women see like like the right men are not going to be threatened or intimidated by a lot of a lot of women here. You're intimidating the men. You're not approachable, you're intimidating. But then he's not my man, that he's not my male. And a bitch would be intimidated by me.
I mean. Right. That's just not intimidated at all. Chris and the Alpha, the true alpha sleep's true. Truly powerful people can allow other people to have power.
Oh, that's you. Yes, that's a huge call, it might make sense to me, but I wouldn't see it any other way.
The male lion sleeps all day and the female lion runs shit up. The male lion.
Yeah, the male lion with up to eat fuck and shit.
And the woman. The woman working all day. Yeah, it goes and kills shit. All this Monserrat drags it back. That's it. That's right. She's just like killing other lions in all sorts of you wake up to just procreate, go back to bed.
Your work here is done right.
I love you guys. Don't ride elephants. This is the best day of my life. This is the last episode of the podcast.
I don't need to do any more I love.