Transcribe your podcast

Oh, hello, we're here with Tim Dillon because I need to get my YouTube numbers up.


Hey, Tim, anything I can do? Anything I can do.


Thank you for having me.


You are such a bad match for the good for your audience. It's this is truly just to get more YouTube subscribers.


Yeah. I mean, and it saddens me that more of them haven't taken a liking to me. So ladies out there with your candles.


Yeah. Come on over to the Tim Dylan show.


Why are you wearing sunglasses? I'm a venture capitalist right now. I've moved into that. I, I appreciate comics and comedy, but I'm now realizing that my strongest attribute has always been I'm a keen eye, a keen eye for the market. I'm investing and I'm building businesses.


So if you want to build businesses, we can build businesses.


But I'm just bored with entertainment. I'm just I'm in a different sphere.


OK, put myself in a different space.


After you just bought stock in movie theaters to AMC movie theaters, I went in and went in heavy and hold the line. And we are showing that the institutional Wall Street and the big money players that we are resting back, wrestling back, a little power back what?


Explain this. Give me some context. In my eyes, I know I was hurting my views on Reddit.


There's something called Wall Street bets on Reddit. And it's a you know, it's a Reddit where people discuss stock prices.


OK, everybody on that Reddit they were talking about, you know, they went into GameStop because all these big hedge funds, short stocks like like GameStop.


Can I be an idiot? You explain to me what I've tried to date men that are hedge fund managers. I know that's something it's just a lot of rich people to pull their money to get the person you want to marry. But what is a hedge fund?


A lot of high net worth individuals. It's an investment vehicle for high net worth individuals that pull their money together. And then somebody obviously manages that money and invest and invest it.


In fact, not like my four one. Kay. No, no. I mean, everyone can have for one case, you could work at a place. And before we can't, we I just still don't know what a hedge fund is. You just explained it and I'm more confused.


Well, it's just well, it's just it's a it's a fund for very wealthy people that want to make a lot of money and a lot. And they you know, a lot of these hedge funds shorted stocks like GameStop because games, stocks. What does that mean?


Betting that it will fail, betting that it's not going to be valued because no one is going to go into all of that because of Amazon, AMC movie Kill the Business, all of these things.


Right. OK, so what people on Wall Street that started to do and said, hey, wouldn't it be fun if we started buying these stocks so that the people that shorted them had to then cover their bets?


Because you're betting on a stock to fail and it doesn't fail. You got to cover the cover the short. Right. So it's actually they forced GameStop up. My producer, Ben, knows how much I went from like four dollars to I think it peaked around like four ninety five.


So from four dollars to four hundred ninety dollars a share. Now it's like two twenty. So now all this is like, it's like a prank, it's a prank.


It's also like basically saying you guys have manipulated the market for a very long time. You've artificially inflated the price of things. You have, you know, played this game. Now we have the information. People on Reddit have the information. We have a catch, things like Robin Hood and these apps that allow you to trade stocks.


Why not why not get into the game?


Why can't regular people get into the game in the same way that all these institutional Wall Street guys have been in the game forever? Right. And then, of course, as soon as that started happening, the government pressured Robin Hood, the app everyone was trading on. And then I'm sure they had other pressure coming from other people. And they stopped trading today on those stocks. Right. On GameStop, on AMC.


Yeah, yeah. Robin Hood, you couldn't do gimme AMC or Nokia. Right.


So the three companies that people were pushing, they said you cannot trade on those companies, which is insane and seemingly illegal because nobody was doing anything wrong. Nobody was doing anything illegal. The SEC is not investigating any of those companies. There's no reason to really freeze trading. So Robin Hood is now come out and said we're going to open limited trading tomorrow and watch it, which still seems sus.


But, you know, so again, it's like this is what happens when you try to get a seat at the big boy table. And this is kind of a movement that started on Reddit that is now becoming somewhat somewhat powerful and distressing. And it's causing a lot of these hedge fund guys money. So I got in for, you know, a decent amount of feels like chaos.


Like I just it's like it's chaos. Like I feel like we're missing. It's chaos. We hacked they hacked the stock market. Yeah. It's chaos.


And they are they want a seat at the table and they know that they're not going to get a seat at the table like this. But they also know that this can leave some egg on the faces of very wealthy people. And why not? That's the real question. Why not even Ben Shapiro, who defends the markets and capitalism? Everything came out and said, you have to have a heart of stone not to laugh at what's happening. Yeah, like most people are sitting back and going now, of course, there's the argument against it saying that it completely turns the stock market into a casino and blah, blah, blah.


However, was it ever not a casino?


It was always a people in this country, especially after this quarantine, after being told they can't work, being told to shutter their businesses, not getting any support from the government are like and then watching the stock market just keep going up, not reflecting any of the reality on the ground.


Stock market keeps going up, keeps going up. All these people are without jobs.


Why not rich people getting rich? Why would they not do this? And I'm happy to be a part of it.


Like, why would this have happened without the pandemic?


I don't think so. It might have. It certainly could have, because I do I do feel like we've, you know, all gone into a federal state of self-preservation, every man for himself. Right.


Like, I feel like we've just you have people on Reddit that are showing you how much they made.


And I can I can help my mother who has Lyme disease now, like now I can help somebody that didn't have the money. Now I can write my mother a check paid for my sister.


Is this what the redistribution of power and wealth looks like? Is it happening?


I mean, I will it was until they shut it down. Who's they? The government who like Robin Hood, the CEO of Robin Hood, decided to end up by who influenced that person guarantees people from the Biden administration and big money players on Wall Street. That's wildly are we Russia? That's wildly corrupt, right?


It's a we're living in a mafia criminal state. I've been quite open about this.


I mean, it's these are the oligarchs. Yes. This is an oligarchy. Oligarchs are, you know, people that control vast industries.


There's a handful of them. And they have a tremendous amount of power. And those are the people that are pressuring the CEO of Robin Hood himself, a billionaire. These are his friends. These are the people. He sees it, the parties. These are the guys he hangs out with in the Hamptons and Palm Beach.


These are the people who his kids are going to go to school with their kids and they're picking up the phone going, hey, man, what's going on?


People forget that. I mean, like, the only thing I really know about in terms of like making laws and stuff in government is like animal abuse stuff. And when you go in there and try to pass an animal bill and you're like, oh, we got it, this is abuse. Someone's like, well, that's my friends has an elephant. And I don't want to.


Yeah, it's all just a lot of that. Yeah. So that's what people are saying.


My friend has an elephant fund that's getting really screwed because a bunch of your people are fucking with us.


So please stop that. Now tomorrow we're all waiting, we're holding the line. It's called hold. I don't know when this comes out.


Yeah. What is the. But I mean I know schedules podcast like she records and releases it in four and a half months. But again, I really try to add some production value to our podcast.


I'm sorry I like of people. That's that's why people like podcast I'm sorry. Like a high school theater production.


Whenever somebody recommends a podcast, they know what you got to listen to this. The production value is amazing.


It's do you see the lighting? Eunuch's Jones could use a little more lighting, to be honest.


I'll pay for it. Let's see what happens. I think it'll be very interesting. See what happens tomorrow morning when when the market opens this AMC Fulci and we're hoping it does.


We hope GameStop flies and then you're in the know and then you're in a cell. No, we're going to hold I think the game here is to buy and hold and force their feet to the fire.


Yeah, I may sell. No, I'm kidding. I'm not going to sell. I'm going to hold. Everyone should hold. That's what it's about for like four.


We've we've I've known you for about a year now. This is the happiest I've ever seen you. Well, it's exciting. I mean, this is nothing's exciting anymore because everything even though the watches, all the porn, even though the news is so horrible, it's boring. It's you turn the news like everyone's dead and dying. Well, we're so desensitized. Yeah, it's so so this is something that's actually happening where you're like, oh, let me I can get involved.


I can check my dad, you know what I mean?


It's like an older boomer video game. No, this is for young people. This is for young people that are sick of a system that doesn't really have they don't have any any power.


They don't have a stake.


They don't have a seat at the table. Well, anything permanently change after this?


Like skin in the game? Not for the good. I think probably the limit people's ability to trade the limit.


All these things they'll say you got to have a certain amount of money to trade. They will try to enforce compliance in any way they can. Are they able to do it?


I don't know, guys, if Portnoy have been out there saying this is, you know, hold the line, don't sell, force these guys feet to the fire because what they're doing is illegal. You can't shut down trading a publicly traded stock if it's not being investigated. They're doing that to protect the interests of big money players. It's wrong. And guys like Portnoy, to his credit, have come out and said that. And when I leave here, we're interviewing the head of Wall Street.


That's the guy who runs the Reddit where all this stuff started happening.


But this is a good I think it's a good I think anyone defending this ad, defending the Wall Street side of it publicly has been Jeffrey Epstein's island. And there's photos of it and they got it. They got an envelope this morning with a photo of them and name Maxwell. And then they decided to go, well, the market must function in a way that, you know, but I mean, why not?


Why not let the little guy go out and make a little money and force these, you know, wells to cough up some money?


There's nothing wrong with that. And I know people are going to go, well, it just turns the market into a casino.


And like, you don't really believe that AMC is valuable and you don't really believe that this is GameStop is valuable.


And it's like, hey, number one, do you want to start really digging deep on all the money that's been made in the market?


And can we really assess how serious people were about what they believed and didn't believe at the time they made trades? So at the end of the day, it's like this is legal.


It's above board. And I'm I'm for it, and that's why I'm I consider myself now a venture capitalist and I will continue to raise capital and allocate it in the way that I see fit.


Tim, we've been through a lot together in the score. And yes, it's been wild. We trauma bonded in the beginning.




And I do want us to address the fact that we got in a fight the other day.


We did because I canceled the pond. We got in a real fight. I canceled the podcast like, I mean, to go look at a lease. Yes. To do a walkthrough. He was due to come to the podcast on Sunday. Yes. His call time was ten, ten, fifteen. He texted me and said, I can't make it. I have ten people waiting here.


I didn't realize that. That's what I didn't realize. That's what I apologized five people and to the staff, I had no idea that the podcast was the filming of a movie. Like I thought it was just a producer.


And you you think I know how to work any of this equipment? Yeah. You think what? What is this. Yeah, I don't I just I'm not Rick Glassman. What do you think this is? I just know the real production. I know but y y no you don't need all of these people and don't want to take any of their jobs away because they all, they're all working very hard, they're all on their phone and everything. And I know how hard they all work and how essential they all fake business.


Yeah. That's exactly what it is called. But I didn't realize that had I realized that I would reschedule.


But that walk through is that the only time that we got the tenants out? You can do the walk through. But what happened?


Because we had to we are so on the same page all the time.


We had like a real fight, like we both went into our inner child, I think. Well, I said I think the only thing I said that was even slightly was I said, it's not two broke girls.


It's a podcast. And you, like, very angry at that. It was a very it was such a light touch of a thing. And you got vicious. You had very angry.


I lost my temper. It doesn't happen a lot. And I was just it was it was a fun little thing to say. It was.


No, but it wasn't like because it fascinates me when comedians because we're so rough with each other.


When you go too far, like when someone know that there's always going to be this unspoken thing between old Hollywood and young Hollywood. And that's that's what's happening here. And I'm old Hollywood. Yeah. It's your legend. You're not any Hollywood. You're young. You've never been Hollywood. But that is Hollywood. No, it's young Internet. No, but that Hollywood still exists.


No one cares about your friends like Sandra Bullock. No one cares about them. I'm just saying no one cares the fucking. That's the thing where she wore the blindfold in the canoe. Got fifty million views seven years ago. I'm just saying bird bugs bunny bird bugs, the horror movie on Netflix.


I mean, this is what here's the different. Here's what here's what about perfect strangers.


That was fun to see you guys. I'm 17 years old. I'm a 17 year old tech talker.


I, I why why do you want to be the future?


Kevin Spacey? Stop hanging out with these young people. Tim, I'm trying to protect you.


Listen, I'm in for cancellation. Understand? You want this to be a Sunset Boulevard where you're at the top of the stairwell and you're like, who is the one? Look, I'll do a multi car. I understand that. We will have Taylor Tomlinson getting in a fun little skirmishes with people at a restaurant.


The reason there will be laughter we pump in. The people watching this show is brains have been broken. And the reason I need you to come early because we shoot this on film. Yeah, well, it's beautiful. And I don't I respect that. We all know that you put a lot into everything you do.


And I respect I try too hard with the podcast. Put a lot into it. Not so much.


Hey, that's OK. I overthink it. Yeah, maybe.


I don't know. I don't even know if I'm going to podcasting. That's the other thing I think you are, but it's a very different thing.


Like you have celebrities on and you prepare and you do all this stuff and I respect that. But it's like, well, we do.


It's because I mean, if you're Tim, I don't I don't have the white man thing. I'm just like, who would want to hear me talk for three hours about anything? Like, I don't. Right. Not allowed to be boring. I have to be twice as good to get half as much respect.


OK, you disagree. Maybe. How so. I don't know.


You have to be twice as good. I mean I just get half as much. I mean got you guys got a line from like a country song. You guys can work in nine to five. Nobody listening because I'm a woman. Is that true?


I'm just saying think about I was singing about this the other day because I was like, how long am I gonna do this podcast? Is there any proof in history that people want to listen to women talk? Well, for the first three hours a week, always their fault.


Is it always the people's fault?


Has there ever was a famous female radio host, Terry Gross, like who's the who?


I mean, I'm trying I'm trying to think women are famous for their lies in that soothing voice.


What about half the country that are women that are not listening to those women that agree?


I agree. I mean, I. I like women I listen to.


I'm just saying in the history of our entertainment. Yeah.


What who has been the female radio host, because you talk about, you know, Howard Stern and whose footsteps you're following their big drums, people like Angie Martinez on Hot 97, there are downtown Julie Brown, the Kennedy people.


But but we're digging here. But who? I'm trying to assign blame for that. I can't assign blame. I just you're you're saying it whether we then now that we've established that we have to assign blame.


Yeah. And we have to go. Well, what I who is at fault. Toxic masculinity. Let's blame that is it. That works well. And there's half the country's women.


No, no, I agree. I was I was joking. But like when people like put out more like do three shows a week like Joe does, I'm like I feel like I'm good in small doses.


Right. But that's your own internal thing. It might be my insecurity.


It's your internal thing. I mean, if I had guests, my show would be destroyed. How? Because by them, I don't have an interest in talking to Hilary Duff. I'm sure she's a lovely person.


I don't know why she doesn't have an interest in talking to you. And we're good. We're good. See, this is the thing with you. You're like Hollywood doesn't care.


And I'm like, we don't care. Me and my friends don't care. It's just a reality. We don't care.


None of us want to walk into a writer's room with people that couldn't make it as stand ups and hear that our jokes aren't funny enough or they're they're not. They need to be more sensitive or more whatever and then go to a network and have a network tell us this and then have it's got to go through sales and advertising and lawyers and people.


We don't need any I mean, that'll go we really don't need anything. It's so true. I mean, I think the thing that we like of the Hollywood is that argument. I'm the first one to sort of make that argument. I mean, I guess I'm just like naive to a fault in that I still like Broadway and want to make a film.


Like I still have that Hollywood star. I would never say like Hollywood, like I still love the ah, if you're a comedian. Yeah.


Going online and building a fan base. Yes. It makes a hell of a lot more sense to playing this game here.


As a comedian, if you're nineteen with a six pack and you're hot. Yeah. Get on Cobra. Yeah. Get on one of those shows. Yeah I'm thirty six. I don't care anymore. I don't want to talk to the show runners. I don't want to talk to people that I wrote on the road to Snoop. I don't care. It doesn't matter to me. So it's like you know and good I feel attacked and.


No, no, no it's not you but it's like at the end of the day, it's like, no, what an entire TV shows are like, it is you take a really talented, funny person and a lot of heat. You put them in a room with a bunch of people that are way less talented than they are. Right. Dilute their vision, sanitize them, and it's never as good. But so is they're never going to be another Seinfeld.


There's never going to be another.


Well, not for me. I might be mad about never going to be another. No, because Roseanne, they are sitcoms that don't exist anymore.


No one wants to watch them. Yeah. No one cares.


Curb is great show, right? I mean, the ranch is huge on Netflix broke.


I'm just the numbers are at the ranch, it's, you know, the type the same people that listen to your podcast, they don't it's a very right of the people that watch the ranch are mongoloids, their absolute orbs of flesh.


They get home from Whataburger. They have blue hands and toes, recirculation problems, the collapse on a couch and they just watch Thara could there should be something for them. I'm not trying to steal that audio. I'm not trying to steal the audience is impractical jokers where 10 years later they still think it's a prank. Oh look at they really got each other. No they didn't dummy. Like I don't want those people can go be those people. Yeah, God bless them.


I love the jokers. But you know, I don't want a fan base of brain dead like, you know, zombies.


And I think for me, you're making me realize how insecure I am because it's like podcasts. It's like there's nothing to protect you. You know, like if you're on a show, you can be like, you know, it's a little bit like you can blame like, well, you can blame other people. Podcast, you take all the blame. Yeah. I just am so afraid of the Internet because they turn on people so fast. Sure.


You know what I'm saying. Like sometimes people's fan base is turn on them, you know. Well, there's nothing you could do about that.


People can say whatever they want about you and people you know, can turn on you or can can like you.


And it's, you know, but at the end of the day, the sustainable network is all sustainable. Are networks sustainable, do you think?


They can't turn on you? You think Netflix can't turn on you? You think you know, how many how many instances have we seen?


Well, no, Hollywood is very far. Hollywood is forgiving to a fault. You can fail for so many times in Hollywood and they will keep writing you you want like you worked your ass off.


But you also we're like a chosen person. You got chosen now. You worked for it. But you've got to realize you were a handful of people that were chosen.


It's like that's kind of what it is now.


You worked your ass off for it. But at the end of the day, it's like if you're not chosen, I went out with a pilot, didn't work.


I went out, had Adam McKay because you don't have me involved in it work. Maybe that's the case. How many times I was supposed to go through that?


Fifteen, twenty, thirty. Or am I live on the street while I do that. Like, why, why would I do that when I have all the means to entertain people in my day?


You don't want to act or you just want to. We all do. But it's not possible. It's not possible because at the end of the day, everyone I have called about to set up a show with you wants to do it and movie.


I understand that. But that's the writing yourself in the foot and I appreciate it. No, if they want to do it, let's do it and then we'll get to the end where they go.


We thank you and we really appreciate this. We're not putting it on the air like we're cutting you out all that we're doing.


I went where we can throw again.


Well, I'm glad I spent 16 months doing this. That's the problem I don't want to devote.


Let me ask you a question which is like now, Joe Rogan was the one who kind of gave me this advice.


I know you're saying, oh, he's not that successful and that's how I get it.


Here's what about here's that famous. He has no money. But here's what we know about Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan was famous from network television first. Sure. Joe Rogan is like he's more famous than black people. You got he had to memorize the rest of the Carson news radio do it.


I'm just saying Joe was famous before he started poking around around the state race.


Can we stop pretending that Joe was like an open mycar when you started his? He was a household name when he started his podcasting.


His podcast was what made him the name.


He is now the yes, of course. But he was famous when he started it. It made more sense for him to just try to get sitcoms on the air every year. No, back then it was different. But here's my question for you. As someone who is like super naive and probably dumb and I banged my head against a wall, I say that is none of that is I stay in relationships longer than I should. I'm dumb. I'm naive.


Tell me I'm wrong. But Hollywood is course correcting. They just want to do it, make some money. There are dumb business. They're dumb. They're not smart people. Right. They're not making Black Panther two because they want to help equality and black lives make some money because it made money. Right.


So as soon as they see what makes money, they will pivot and start changing. But totally agree. You guys are just so pissed off at Hollywood that you're just, like, burning all fucking down. I'm a pissed off. You hurt my feelings five years ago.


I'm not pissed off, but I'm also like, what's to show that I really see on TV that I want to be a part of? And I don't see any interesting. I don't see any shows where I go, man, like the shows I like like succession and things like that. I love that are great shows.


But then I'm like, OK, where are the who's blowing up from. From TV shows. Right. Yeah. Who's getting a real fan base as a comedian from a TV show at the moment I don't see anybody. Yeah, I see a lot of people make a living online. I see a lot of people getting fans online. I don't see anybody right now making I know people with TV shows that are broke and I know them and they can't sell tickets.


So I doesn't pay the way I used to.


It does it doesn't mean.


What do you sell for a standup comedian if you're not playing yourself, you're not going to be able to. Of tickets, you know, like Nadal played a character in that Mike and Molly show, he should have played Bellegarde. You'd have to play Tim. Yeah. And listen, I think maybe in a few years I'm not against that. I save some money. We make another run at development.


But like at the moment, I don't see the reason for and that's why I'm getting out of L.A. because I want to ask don't tell me about it.


How did this you did made this decision without me?


Well, I made it in a twenty four hour span of time because I called some very smart people and a lot of them are out and a lot of them are going and they're all primarily Internet people and they're all going, we don't need to be here. The response to Elon Musk leaving a state can't be fuck Elon Musk, which is what I'm going to correct.


Gavin Newsom and the government here is basically like, yeah, fuck him. So if you say fuck him, we're going to say, fuck me. I'm going to say fuck everybody. And the problem with that is it cost an exorbitant amount of money to live here. The climate for entrepreneurs is horrible. The climate for people to live is getting worse every year.


And you're spending a lot of money and traditional Hollywood is not the bread and butter of anyone I know anymore.


I think we can all agree that my mental health is peaking, Tip-Top shit peaking.


I think we can all say that I want mental health, the peak of which mountain.


I think we can all agree that no one's mental health is more healthy than mine. I agree with that.


You wrote a book about it. Did you use better help? I did not. You know, better help when we read these as I get so annoyed because I just get frustrated that I didn't have this when I was a teenager.


Can you just read your book as a better help out? I mean, honestly, I love better help, you guys should subscribe to it, but I worry that my book becomes obsolete. If you guys start using better help to realize how much I believe in better help, I'm losing money on my book sales, driving you to better help, which is difficult as a licensed professional.


Buttercup is great because it matches you with your own licensed professional therapist and start communicating in 48 hours. And here's a fun fact. You can do whatever you want kids online. Yeah. So you can do it like drive through of a Jack in the box, hold up the line, get some help, get therapy while driving through Jack in the box.


Yeah, great tacos. Go for it.


That's I think if somebody is getting therapy from better help while driving through Jack-In-The-Box, they're good. They don't need a therapist. They know they have strong boundaries. They know what they need. They know who they are. They know their purpose, and maybe they just want a chat.


Now, it's not self-help.


It's a you know, it's a wild time to drive down to a therapist. I don't want to go to a therapist right now and get covered in the waiting room.


Yeah, I want to talk to a robot therapist on the computer, real people that are talking to me through the computer.


And the best thing about it is they offer it's well, it's not only do they offer, but it is literally more affordable than traditional counseling, you know.


Yeah, well, traditional therapy is so exorbitant. It's like criminal. Yeah.


But this is what it should cost to saying and the response time. Forty eight hours. Therapists have the gall response in 48 hours. Have the gall. Think about this. Therapists have the gall to charge someone who is suffering. I am suffering. I have anxiety disorders. I am depression. Great. Come see me. I'm going to charge you three hundred dollars for 45 minutes. Like you're making me sicker with your practice. Yeah man.


Charge sick people anything. Yeah. You've been to movie theater criminal. I'm already sad. I want to watch this movie visit. Better help dot com slash Whitney that's better.


And join the over one million people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. In fact, so many people have been using better help that they are recruiting additional counselors in all 50 states. I'm available special offer for good for you listeners. Get ten percent off your first month at Better Hope dot com slash Whitney.


Love it. You know, I. Feel like I've been clear about this, my first stand up special, I talked about balls, I said can stand up special. I talked about I've been talking about balls for 15 years.


So you also have built a career on balls, much like manscape.


But I have I have been asking and manscape. Listened. We got it. You guys got to pull together. The balls are a mess. You want us to put our heads down? There are tongues down there, but you're not making it very welcoming. Help us. Help you catch your tongue is not that rough.


You got to manscape yourself.


You got to manscape yourself.


You trim, trim, trim, clean up, shave, deodorize, moisturizes.


But also. Yes, but only with manscape. Exactly. They offer those things. So I've seen guys try to do it on their own with the hotel razor. Looks like herpes. They don't know how to shave against the grain with the grain, whatever it it. I don't know what I'm looking at here.


Like you have to there's a certain way to shave.


Yeah. And it is not with the hotel razor that's for sure.




Those those pubes down there are course if you're going to wash away you take your little towel, little white towel, go to wash away all your little pubic splinters and it's covered in blood the days long.


The days are over, your glory days are over guys. Your balls are no longer allowed to smell like scallops. They're no longer allowed to smell like Savitch. They're no longer allowed to have weird red bumps like those days are over. Women have options. Now we have dating apps we can do like we're not in. We're no longer living in villages where there's two options for Soudas. OK, we have other options. Now, get your dick in order and you make those balls likable.


Stackable. Yeah, I'm saying. Yep, so the performance package comes with a new and improved lawnmower 3.0, the weed whacker, the ear and nose hair trimmer performance, boxers brief and a travel bag, all of which very nice.


This is also just an excellent gift. The guy that I'm dating has started pilfering my manscape stuff that we keep here because they sponsor us. He starts like stealing it. Guys love it. Oh, he's a thief. He's a thief. Yes.


Great. Not a red flag.


What do you what are you holding up there, you know what else here? It's a great alewives. It's a great gift. Great gift. I went out OK. These are ball wipes. Honestly, this is the least you can do. Guys, this is the literally the clothes in your pocket.


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Did you entertain go back to New York? No, no. When you leave New York, you done really Joan Didion, the whole thing. Oh, goodbye to all that. When you're done, you're done.


You're done. When you're done, you so true. When you're done with New York, you're done.


And I know it because I go back and I go, I never can do it the way I used to never get. It doesn't I can't go to the grocery store every day. Yeah.


It's also like I've always considered myself a person who, like I'm a New Yorker, I love New York.


But I also there's a there's a strain of New Yorker, a new Strelley, upstate new strain. It's a strain of New Yorker that's very annoying. And the world seems very small. You know, Yannis Pappas, who I love, very funny comedian, but he was in L.A. and I was like I drove him from, like Palm Springs up to the mountains.


And he's like, I can't believe like, it gets so much colder up here. And I'm like, oh, you're an idiot.


Like people from New York, like are morons. Some of them they like don't understand anything that goes on outside.


Shots can hardly drive. Yet when Andrew comes out here, he can't, like, figure out how to function.


New York, man, you're from the small bubble.


It's the greatest city in the world.


But it's like guys and I just am someone that is my mother is from Texas, a place called Sherman, Texas, near Fort Worth. I've spent a lot of time in Texas. Yes. And I've spent a lot of time with you.


And I understand some of the government you're going to it's going to be a sobering experience.


Your work. I'm going to be in L.A. I'm going to travel. I know.


But you and Austin, it's you're going to be hot. You're going to be sunburned. You're going to be grumpy.


You're going to see I'm going to be out here annoyed to be miserable here, OK? I'm going to be miserable wherever. I mean, that's part of the deal.


Wherever you are, you could save money.


And like, listen, I'm going to be able to get on a plane, go to New York and go to L.A., OK, get on a plane, hopefully go to London or wherever I want to go.


But you know that Austin is still in Texas. You are aware of that? I know that. I mean, as a man who will only eat with, like, guilded forks and I mean, you know, you'll be eating out of food trucks in Austin.


The rich, the the rich are there, baby. That's Dallas. You should be. I think you have a point. You should be in Dallas. I will say you're going to Austin. You're going to forty minutes out of Austin. My leg. You're going to win.


That is like tries to be poor on purpose because it's hell I'm not going to go near Austin.


I'm going to be in the I'm in the woods. I'm in the woods.


OK, I'm like get on. This doesn't feel mentally healthy. You're alone in the woods. It's not a good that you alone with your own thoughts.


I'm not saying the FBI won't be keeping time. I don't think this is good. I don't I don't like this. You don't need to be around people when you're left your own devices, something you pay enabling you.


I think I'm worried I will be.


Should I pay ten to enable. That's the problem. I don't pay twenty five people to enable me. I think it's a great move. I think it's going to be the move for comedy.


I agree. Trust me, I really believe I will be there. I really believe if it shows up and in that if Rogan's opening night club I will be there to play there. But it's just like are you thinking about doing this? Like since we all don't have to live where we think we had to live before. Ah, is it like permanent or are you like I'm gonna do this for six months.


Hey man, I don't know what life is. Perman never. So I don't know if in three to five years maybe I'm like I don't want to do a podcast. Yeah I don't know but I want to make enough and save enough money to and I can't do it in this state.


They want all your money here. Yeah.


And I don't know what I don't know. It's kind of shitty, that's the reason.


But it's like it really is when you're renting, you're not you're not paying for sex. You're not buying. You're renting. Yeah.


I'm ready for six months then looking around Austin and then just settling down. And then I want my base to be in a state where I'm not being robbed. Then I can go all over the country and do whatever I want.


I mean, it is I mean, listen, if you were paying these kind of taxes, but you were like, you know, California's an idyllic paradise. There's no homeless, everybody's happy. It's great. Yeah, I'm getting I'm getting really hit over the head. But you know what? Things are working out. They can't get a vaccine. The people people waiting outside the forum like you're waiting for Billy Eilish concerts to get a syringe. This is an embarrassment.


It's become kind of an embarrassment. Is California just too big to be governed? It's too big to be governed as a country. What happen? Gavin Newsom just out of touch. He's an effete wine merchant who's out of touch. This guy owns vineyards.


Am I a conspiracy theories that I think a lot of the decisions he makes is just to spite his ex. Kimberly Guilfoyle. Yeah, I feel like they're all just they're just fired and Kinki fight.


It's a we just keep getting more progressive just like piss her off. Like I feel like, I feel like it's like War of the Roses and Queen this like toxic relationship.


At the end of the day it's like I just want to go somewhere where I can just start to think about retirement.


I'm, I'm thirty six.


It's time to start thinking about wrapping it up.


It's just such a hard thing to wrap my head around that like this business is over.


I know that's wild, but I think it's better to wrap your head around that than your car around a tree like many of the people that in that stay in this town are just they're going to be crazy.


Can we talk about my mental deterioration over the past? It's frightening. It's it's frightening.


It's been wild to watch for a lot of us. You know, comedians like we are designed to get up and perform. It's not performing for nine months. Like nine months ago we were like, this would be a couple of months.


I feel like bring the new normal. I feel like this is like changed my brain.


Yes. Well, you know, I think that you're just it's you're going through a real you're a lot of things are you're processing a lot of things.


You're like, oh, the life I thought was here is not here. And it's not anywhere. It's not in Austin. It's nowhere. Yeah. Life before this is going to be like 9/11, where it's like every time you got on a plane afterwards, you're like, oh yeah.


After this, everything kind of changes. Nothing's going to go that back to like I think things go back to normal eventually. But they're still going to be you're still going to be sitting somewhere and I'm going to go like it's going to be like travel is going to be different.


Going around the world is going to be different. Touring is going to be different. Productions are going to be different. Comedy is going to be different.


Here's what to say about the comedy. So like I'm booking out or tours like like here's my problem.


Comedians are we're I think we're kind of standing in our own way a little bit in terms of of shows because we want everything to be the way that it was. Like we're comedians will complain about fucking anything, you know. So it's like these outdoor shows are totally working.


It's totally doable. We're in the spring and summer. Yeah. But I'm just I'm we did San Francisco in November outside the heating lamps. It was fine. Like, I think maybe it's because I came up in L.A. and in L.A. you do bowling alleys. I was doing like Chipotles and fucking we used to do standup shows in Jumbo's Clown Room, which was like a strip club with dwarves and shit like I'm used to doing shows and shitty outdoor crazy.


Yes. Yeah. I like new New York club. Sure. Look, I need a club. I need it to be inside. I need the ceilings to be low like like it's the best way.


But that's the highest form of the art of stand up comedy is is a small club, right.


Yeah. I mean sure we'll do outdoor shows if you have to but no wants to do that. But what are you going to do, just live outside, you know what I mean. Like if we can do indoor comedy, what can we do.


It's like, well why would we adapt? Why can't we adapt? Why are we so bratty and why? Because they're such babies. Well, it's not that we're happy with the way we always did it.


It's not even that. It's just that, like most outdoor things are not so not ideal.


OK, here's the thing, though. When I went and did the outdoor shows with cars, it was very weird for the first like five minutes. It was like the honking.


I was I was like, this is awful. I hate I don't want five minutes in. I was fucking like, I get it. OK, I know we have evolved.


It's called podcasting. I don't want to perform for cars. I can just be funny for an hour or two hours a week. Well, your fanbase doesn't have that many, so I'm sorry, my fan base isn't my other celebrity friends.


I apologize. You know, I apologize. Jennifer Aniston, intangible. Who are these people? It's over. It's over.


Let me take that. It's Tymchuk real. Yeah. Banten makes a very good point. People have eight million followers on Tic-Tac. The same person will have like one hundred thousand on Instagram. What's happening?


Because everybody on Instagram is an old witch like your friends. And on tick tock, everybody's just hot as fuck and we don't care and we don't care about old people and what they're about.


Like we're about positivity, light and show and being healthy and showing our show on our dicks. That's what we're about.


So I'm not I'm not upset at old school people. What is the most important part right now, Dan, to you?


I don't mind that. What is the most important platform right now? I'm on clubhouse all the time talking with other venture capitalists.


People in the business still know about clubhouse. Clubhouse is where it's at. That's where I am. And people call I do an investment advice every night on there. I did investment advice last night. Really? I give out investment advice.


Well, people interesting.


Correct eye. Is that the future? For me as a pastor, yes, I think so this clubhouse is going to replace the investment advice right now. I'll give it to you for free.


Should I invest in the rowing machine, hydro its peloton, but it's a rowing machine.


Whatever you do, you have to remember that kindness, heart, kindness is strength. I'm sorry. Kindness is strength. I'm not following speed.


Do you understand? No. Well, I guess I can. I can't. I can lead a horse to water.


So what I'm just saying is like I give advice that you need to know a little bit about the market, even get, I don't know, eye-level level.


I am like, honestly, I like to be really transparent. I do not understand how the stock market works.


I think you want to invest your money. That's what I that's what I tell people to do. That's kind of the lynchpin of my advice is in the clubhouse going to start being moderated.


That's the big thing. But who like I mean, if somebody's going to come in and say because it's going to go fuck you any minute now.


No, it's not. You know, they don't think so.


Can you explain to me, Kuhnen, for our fans, since it's four months late?


I love this. This is when you know you're on like an elderly person's podcast are like, can you explain to me and how did Trump get elected?


No, I to because I don't like to talk about politics. I like to talk about things and bad shit. I like to talk about things after the dust has settled because I don't like to be in the rigamarole. Why be riding the wave.


I don't want I don't want to be in the drama. I don't like being relevant. I agree. I don't like being relevant. I like going. That's all you guys can scuffle. And I'm going to talk about this later. Can I you that.


Yeah, that's what comics used to do really. Comics used to have the final say shit would happen, news would happen, someone would shoot a special nego. This is what happened this year.


And I have the final say people who say they would do what have to rub to stick together to make fire.


What are we doing? Like now? Now it's in the moment there was no Internet. Now, if you don't have the take while it's happening, yeah, it's kind of over. Yeah. Comedians used to have some time to digest it, write some jokes about it, put out a special and go this is my they can still do that.


But I think it's more important now than ever to be like funny all the time. Yeah, all the time. Relentless. If you're hot on Instagram you got to be hot all the time. If you're smart, you've got to be smart all the time. If you're funny, you got to be funny all the time.


Why, if not the audience of people who is used to what you're doing goes, yeah, go somewhere else.


It's interesting because it's just such a like skill. It is waiting on anyone special, even the biggest comedians in the world. Nobody's waiting on your special. Nobody's got their feet up and going. Once that's special coming out, nobody cares anymore.


If it's out and it's great, then people love it and they'll share it. But nobody's waiting. Nobody's waiting on season four Ozark.


No one cares. I never need to see and I like the show, but I never need to see another episode again. I'm over it. I'm done. Netflix can't do this where it's like three, three years later.


Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's too short. We're all just spoiled now.


We're all too spoiled. We all want it now, now, now.


And we're all just like addicts. I mean but but where does this go. I mean you know, I'm the superstar love story because I'm an old fossil that's still making adapting books to be television shows like this is a book that takes place in twenty fifty.


Like what? Where do we go for everyone going to have their own channel soon.


Well yeah. Everyone's going to have their own platform, their own channel. The people that are interesting or crazy enough or funny enough or good looking enough are going to get attention.


It's kind of like what it was. It's just the same thing. It was right. What's interesting to people hasn't changed. What's attractive to people hasn't changed. What's funny to people really hasn't changed. People's tastes are kind of similar. It's the way that they get it. People eat the same food they ate fifty years ago. They just get it very different ways.


What are you getting on Postmus? What they bring it over steak and potatoes. It's my grandfather.


We can start doing post comedy, you know, but I mean, door to door comedies is what my my grandfather rate. So it's just a new mechanism to get the same thing. That's what I'm trying to get all you people to understand, you know.


Is there something to be said? I'm just devil's advocate here for a little mystery, little enigmatic you don't you see me all the time, see me some of the time. It's just like too much access. But maybe it's because I'm a woman and women are grading. Yassmin, when you have you said.


Yeah, I'm just saying, like, that's just a normal JASMUHEEN thing where because it's the pictures that have gotten small.


I'm just saying you I think you guys can talk for ten hours a week and people love you. I think if I talk for ten hours a week, I'm like, get death threats.


I think it's a different business model for about that. Maybe tell me I'm wrong.


Maybe this is internalized sexism. Maybe I'm playing the victim, but I. I do not think the same business model works for a female comic. Female comics are the most loathed people on the I'm like the most loathed person. But why are they wrong? That's the question, right, because like I understand what you're saying, but there's got what is that, by the way? What bar? What?


Oh, this is a transcript from a month ago. You're not eating that. Do you want to bar?


No, I didn't know what it was like to go to for lunch. I don't look like a Rice Krispie treat. You're not eating. There was no cake anyway.


I know he does make cakes. I asked him. I know. And no one does in L.A.. I guess the point is many people would love to hear you talk. I think that it has nothing to do with gender, and I think it's just about betting on yourself.


Mm hmm. I mean, what is the root for a female comic right now, do you think? This is a very interesting question. It's a great question. You're probably right that it is different for men and women. It is just different.


I mean, look, DAX Shepard, I talk about very similar. People want to hear a guy be vulnerable. I mean, I just I think maybe I'm wrong, but is there a cap on how popular a woman can get with just talking Oprah style dress in our house is visual.


That was due in our visual. Yeah, but that was also that was also a different time when there were three channels. You didn't have any choices.


Agreed. But I mean, there are radio or is there any woman who has spoken ten hours a week that we're like, can't wait to listen? I think Prairie Home Companion, I think Howard Stern. I think, you know, Kimmel and Khairallah, we're doing that radio show. Yeah, it's listen, women get to go, like, be the ones that laugh at the jokes, the Robin on the house. Not wrong.


But I think that there's successful podcasters. There are people that are that are women. And then, you know, radio is kind of a dead medium.


I'm just curious how long this podcast boom is going to go. It's on the edge of over. OK, the good ones will stay around. The ones that are funny, the ones that evolve, the ones that are people.


Just it is it is really obvious to people who's doing this because they're bored. Who's doing it because who's doing it because they just have, like, weird flomo or just who's doing it because an agent or manager called you and you got to do something. And it's very obvious to people if your heart and soul is in it and you love to do it, people know that it's people can pick that up. People can also pick up anything that you do where you're, you know, whether you're authentic or you're just kind of like, hey, I'm just going through the motions.


There's a lot of people that, like, I have a podcast now because I guess I got to have a but if you're into it and you do it and you love doing it, you build that relationship with your fans, which is the best podcast fandom, is the best relationship ever with you. It really is.


They love you. It's they're like your family. They talk to you, they update you on things that are going on in their lives. Some of them are scary. And yes, they'll kill you. But at the end of the day, it's so much better than having people that maybe they're on a couch or they're in a break room and they turn on a TV and you're there and they're like, OK, and you're playing some character. And they're like, oh, yeah, you're funny.


Is that character. And they don't care anything about, yeah, you're lying to me.


You're pretending, what are we doing? Right.


So I guess people or I just think but I do think that podcast for podcasts sake is on its way out.


Well, a lot of people are just doing it as they're like Plan B is like when I was in mortgages, I was sitting in a diner and I gave the waiter my card. I said, I'm in mortgages. And they just took out a card. And he said, I'm also in mortgages. And he's a guy who was giving me a pizza bagel.


So I said, oh, everyone in the world is doing this. It's six months from over. And I was right. I think this is six months from who cares? Not every show, mind you.


But I mean, there are a lot of the novelty of it and a lot of the famous people who just like did podcast because they could get away and are not doing numbers. It's it's actually because I need to, like, compare things in order to understand it's like similar to one in television. Back when we did television, the sweeps week, you try to cast like a very famous person, like done casting numbers and it wouldn't get the numbers right.


That's not what people are. They're tuning in for the original cast, not the celebrity. Right. Like, it just it didn't never work. Right. You know, it's like for a minute movies and TV shows we're trying to cast, like YouTube influencers to be on TV shows thinking the audience would follow me like, no, we're not following you there. But there's something interesting about when celebrities go on, try to do a podcast and no one gives a shit.


It's like I didn't sign up to hear you talk for three hours. You haven't proven to us that that's your skill. Right? We want you to sit there and look pretty or be funny or do whatever you're doing. Yeah. And people don't follow them. So there are a lot of celebrities that started podcast and they're not doing well.


Well, it's also when when they're allowed to go and do other things, they're going to do them right. So if you're allowed to make a movie or a TV show or you're allowed to go do standup or you're allowed to go do or if you're allowed to go on a vacation.


Yeah, whatever you're allowed to do, the things you wanted to do, you a lot of people are going to go, fuck this. I'm not doing this podcast. I have a job. Yeah. People just want to feel like I have a job. So a lot of these actors and actresses like I don't have a job right now, I got to do something. Yeah. And their agent manager came in. You've got to stay relevant.


But and a lot of them are starting podcast and deciding to turn them into like political PRITCH sessions also.


It's like, what are you doing? Because that's how to be relevant, huh. That's how to be relevant. The politics has overtaken Hollywood. The stars of politics, kinesiology, Ben Shapiro are much more famous than Hollywood.


I ask you about Kansans. Yes. Is she a performance artist like anyone anyone in media at her level is.


And she certainly is. Yeah, she's smart.


Like she is. Like, I always feel like play like when people get, like, annoyed about her and Ann Coulter, I'm like, don't buy into this. This is all just I mean, you know what it is?


It's like she is capitalizing on what you have to do.


You don't have a choice. The William F. Buckley or whatever intellectual conservatism you want to imagine doesn't work.


Who he who shrieks the loudest is going to get the attention. So you've got to say wild shit all the time to even get the plane off the.


Yeah, so true. And that's what these people are all doing.


So it's like issue whatever an artist performs or. Yeah. Is she any more of one than AOC.


No, that's what they all have to do.


Our, our, our politicians now are governing off Twitter. They want to be read tweets, they want to go viral. I mean this is absurd. This is sick, but this is where we're at.


So anybody that levels that charge at her like, oh, it's a grifter, she's this, she's that. It's like she's existing in them in the climate that we have. Right.


That's what it is. I hate a racket, I hate, you know, me, I'm like like I'll return something that was seven dollars. Are you calling student loan debts racket? Yes, I think that this clarification I don't like listeners. I don't like getting bamboozled. Are we allowed to say that word? Bamboozled. Tell someone.


Look it up. I canceled. I'm just saying I don't like a racket. And I the loans are terrible.


Terrible. I mean, there's no I mean, there's no rhyme or reason to them at 19 years old. How am I did think I needed thirty thousand dollars. Yeah.


But at nineteen your ramen noodles and they got I just think this is they got you hook, line and sinker. You're nineteen years old, you're like yeah I'm going to be able to pay that off. Cardi B she got by. Sure.


You think you're going to be able to afford, you're going to have a degree and you're like I'll have a degree so I'll get a job. I have a job, I have money. If I have money to pay the student loan debt off, here's a surprise.


You have none of that truly fun fact. And all the jobs that I train for no longer exist. Now I have all these student loans that I'm paying off this college that taught me stuff that I can't even use. Yeah, exactly.


Because I know it's obsolete because I didn't go to school to be a doctor, a lawyer or a teacher. So everything else is Boylan's what am I, a historian? This is old student loans. It's a it's a hush money in that it's a hot topic. Bernie Sanders is talking to Hot Topic and we're talking about Earnest Earnest.


We should mention them. Hmm. Earnest Earnest is they offer low rates, student loan refinancing. So basically make it really easy and flexible.


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You can reduce your loan term, can also combine multiple loans, which is really awesome because student loans, if you ever notice, if you go pay them off, they're broken up into like fifteen separate loans.


Oh my God. They make it so complex.


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You did go to college, Benton. Valentine's Day is coming up. But are you getting me? Are you my Valentine?


Well, according to this, I had an erection. I mean, it's a weird time to bring this question up, don't you think?


I just was talking about Roman. What? We're talking about Roman. We're talking about hard dicks. Yeah, Valentine's Day is coming up. And that's what I would like. A hard dick in a box. OK, all right. How hard do it like it?


Probably, yeah. Big point. Give me that happen. Valentine's Day is coming up for a lot of guys.


It's pressure. I know you've got to get the you got to get it up. You got to deliver.


First of all, you remember the date. Yes. Very difficult. Right. Right. You have to get a gift. Yes.


Guys, do you remember Super Bowl dates? But Valentine's Day, you have to go into the flower shop. Remember what the how many, how many, how many. Another man is Mickey Robinson made in the twenties. Yeah, but they can't remember February 14th every year.


Same thing. Remember the amount of rings another man wears, but you can't buy one for Valentine's Day.


Very confusing, but it's Valentine's Day is stressful. I'm the first person to say it is a totally socially constructed capitalist conspiracy shit. Show everybody you can ever win on Valentine's Day. It's just too much pressure. It's like New Year's Eve. It's just like it's never going to live up to the hype. You're going to get flowers. Oh, you got me flowers. It's so original chocolates. Oh, that's so unoriginal.


It's just like I just feel like guys can't wait on this day until now. Until now, you know how you can win a hard disk that works. Valentine's is for you guys and it's for you boys, and with Roman, you don't have to worry about dealing with Ed because Roman's got you covered.


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Having had experience with this, it like it's so complicated because when a guy feels pressure to perform, the girl starts to be insecure. You think it's your fault. You start getting upset and crying. And I'm like sitting there in lingerie that I got off Amazon that's probably already giving me tetanus. Like, I'm already upset. You know, it's just I love the idea of pressure to perform.


Like you're putting on a Broadway play we don't like we don't talk about, like men, the unrealistic expectations we have for men in the bedroom.


We only talk about the women. Men have pressure, too. Yeah, not it it's not fair, it's not fair. And if I'm not hot enough for you, buy this product. I'm talking directly to my lover.


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Order by two 10 for guaranteed delivery by Valentine's Day. Just go to get Roman dotcom slash waiting to get started. Let's get Roman dotcom slash Whitney. I don't know if I'm moving to Austin, I want to get back to our fight, be a venture capitalist, because I do feel like we are the Ross and Rachel of the pandemic. What a reference. We are the Scully and Mulder. Oh, I can do this all day. And I love those shows.


You don't understand that. I appreciate that out of Hollywood. I love it. I watched all of those shows, watch Friends, Frasier, Seinfeld, just shoot me. I watch Melrose Place, I watch NYPD Blue.


I still have this in my right. Like, there's I just and maybe it's because it's like I'm sad and I do.


I love the Emmy. I used to watch the Emmys. I just I love I love the family.


Like walking onto a set. You have instant family. That's so pathetic.


I used to watch SNL every I used to watch Letterman's monologue every night.


I loved all of that shit I used to I grew up watching the Dana Carvey Show and then like I watched it all. And I just right now it's it's very different. But I loved it.


Doing the red carpet tomorrow on Zoome. I mean, it's just there's at a certain point we got it. We got to say, hey, let's buy a ranch in Austin, Texas. I mean, that's the whole thing. It's like who you even interview on the red carpet on Zoom. But, you know, Texas is very dusty.


There's I don't know how you're trying to find the L.A. I like is a litter box. Texas is dusty.


I mean, L.A. is literally I just you are one of the most delicate people I know. Delicate people. I know you well appreciate the finer things in life. Texas is. I'm just saying you're going to.


Well, there are planes, trains, automobiles. And if I don't like something, I can go and do that thing and then go back.


I'm going to live in a place where I have greenery. I have a nice big pool. OK, it's going to be beautiful.


I'm going to have a podcast studio. I'm going to have a green screen to do videos and a production capability. Roeg is going to have a club.


Yes. I mean, why not? When is that going to open? I don't know. Because I.


For these. For probably before the Comedy Store and the Improv, yeah, something that really bothers me about you is you've always pretty much been right about this stuff. So what's going to happen this year?


A return in the fall in clubs, in clubs. I don't know if theaters come back, but maybe I think hopefully clubs at half to seventy five percent capacity.


You know, we have a mixture of herd immunity.


It depends on what happens with these strains.


And if we get better with treatments and mitigation and things, I think I was a person where I was going, this is all going to go back to normal.


I'm now becoming a person that is starting to believe. Now you've broken, you fully broken. Yeah, no, I'm starting on Roeg. I'm starting to believe that to be a survivor, you have to accept the world's never going back to what it was, right? Never.


You started wearing beanies. I mean, you look like, you know, you hey, you look like a rogue homeless person.


I'm here to tell you, the world's never going back to the way it was. You have to adapt and evolve and survive. And so many people are going to fight that tooth and nail because they do all the time. They do. And they become dinosaurs and they go extinct. And that's what it is. It's going to be, dude, people go to Miami, people go to Austin, New York, L.A., dude, it's been done.


Yeah. Who cares? I mean, truly, who cares? No one can even say you're the only one who's even tried everyone else. I Kolbe's like I could. I believe it too. I mean you're the only one you come from the golden age golden era.


Bilborough saying great.


Sebastian's probably saying you guys a big twenty five million dollars a year don't have any advice for me. Yeah. Yeah that's the reality.


If you want to make money and you're like desperate, you talk to the person who has a job, not the guy that owns like five companies. Right, right. Right. Because his advice is going to be like like when I first came out, I'm like trying to lose weight.


Rogas, I got a chef. Mom got up trying to build a gym, you know, and it's like, oh, I know.


You got to talk to the person who lost twenty pounds. And they go, oh, the how about eating like three times or whatever it is.


So Burns genius is the genius. They're the greatest ever. And of course they'll stay and they should. People like me at the stage of my career, I'm that I'm like, there's no downside to getting out of here and seeing what's up. Yeah. You know, I agree.


Yeah. I mean, those guys. Well, I'm just self. I'm going to miss you.


You're my only I know, but you'll I'll be back alive. I'll be back in a landslide. I'll be back a lot and you'll be in Austin.


People are going to live in a bunch of different places. That's what's going to come out of this.


I just people are going to be transient. Some suburbs are back, transients is back.


People that are like, I don't want to commit myself to any one area ever question why are your fans so hot?


Every half of them are attractive.


It's like like hot guy I know loves you. What is that? Because they want a black male model.


I secretly want to be overweight with the skin condition.


Like what is that the like we're like random hot guy that I like dated on Rhia. Well do to love Tim Dillon. I'm like, what is this.


Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.


I'm thankful for any and all fans that I definitely getting worried about your accent. Well, and that's been obvious to a lot of people. But it's we all respect the silent film stars. We all respect the golden age.


We all respect, you know what I mean? No, we get it. We understand it. You know. Have you seen Sunset Boulevard? I have, yeah. You know, it's like you wander into a set and you're like, I don't know why I'm frightened. I know my way around here, you know, everyone's like, Mrs. Collins, you have to is this comics, this quarantine?


You must leave the studio.


You have to understand that is someone like Tooth and Nail clawed my way to figure out this business. And I. I finally know how to do it. Yeah. And everyone's like, now go do this business that you don't understand at all. You succeeded. And then everyone in the comments is saying you're a cunt on YouTube, but keep doing it. I'm like, I kind of preferred when the lawyers told me I couldn't make that jump.


People are going to say, don't say thank you guys.


Really, it fucking sucks to do sitcoms. Lawyers are telling you can't make jokes. I'm like, yeah, well, I just did Rogan's podcast and now I'm getting death threats. So sitcoms actually, I'd rather fight with lawyers.


I just I think you've succeeded so much that you can kind of take a chill pill.


Now, but, you know, we can do that, why not? I'm not I'm not saying that, but like, you've succeeded in ways that were unimaginable to the young girl that moved to L.A., right.


I mean, unimaginable success you've had. So at a certain point, you got to go. I did it.


Not successful enough to get Tim Dillon to show up on time for his podcast. Clearly don't have that kind of success, you know, with scheduling.


But Sunday, 10:00 a.m. couldn't make it work. I live at a certain point. You just have to say, like, do what you enjoy.


That's the ticket. That's the ticket.


Don't worry about what other people say. Don't worry about comments or about any of that.


What do you really enjoy do that. Yeah, that's the ticket. You've earned the right to do that. You've won.


So now winning means do what you want.


Hmm. That's the move. That's what's going to happen, you're going to go to Austin, yeah, you're going to go nuts, you're going to hate it, and you come crawling back and come live with me. I don't three months I give him till that sounds like a nightmare.


I'd rather be covered in black widows in the middle of a ditch in Texas than come crawling back to Los Angeles to you and have you lecture like I'm hosting an Emmy afterparty on Sue.


Lisa Kudrow is going to be the you must put on powder, get your get your Instagram story ready.


Well, it's like what? She's at the top of the stairs. You know, she's going to shoot me like at the end of Sunset Boulevard. She's just going to shoot me with a gun and then her dogs are going to eat her. And we're all going to have to be like, man, no one saw that coming except anyone with eyes.


I mean, I do.


I definitely think the hair needs to go back with me because I don't I know I definitely as soon as the hair started up my brain, that's what my brain's probably not natural to have to die by the brain, by I mean sleeping.


And how many things if you don't you don't think you've done great. I've done pink. I did blue. And now this is blue and purple.


Yeah. Comedians are meant to be doing standup every night. I agree. I agree with you. I feel like if I may, I feel like for the first six months I really held tight. I held steady. I was forgot.


What you look like around for is when I started with a photo of her before the hair, I like, forget what she looked like before that.


I started to rake around Thanksgiving. That's when I really, really started to catch up to me. The demon started to catch up to me, but not doing stand up the addiction that was keeping all the voices at bay. Right.


I started catching up to fucks us all. I get it. We're all losing our mind.


And that's me with brown hair.


I think I got to go back to brown hair thinking I've got to pull it together. It's gone too far. But this is this is my argument against podcasting. It's people this has been enabled. People love it, love it, love it. Whereas in TV they go, no, no, no, you can't do that. You look insane.


There's different mediums, different strokes for different folks. So I feel like you can get you can go down a wormhole and social media where you can find anyone to encourage bad choices.


That's absolutely true. But you got it. You got something to be said for the old school publicist who's like, yeah, we don't let her speak like there's.


Yeah, I agree because I feel like I'm going rogue. And then I was like, oh, there's a reason publicists write this ridiculous Byzantine system works because talent we're not we're mentally we shouldn't be talking.


We shouldn't be making our own choices. We shouldn't be able to record ourselves and blasted any time.


When you were on The Honeymooners, you were one of the most iconic figures in television. OK, you worked with Jackie Gleason, you worked with our Zakani. These were legends. It's we are I'm so grateful.


We're grateful to have to have known you and to have the gifts that you've given to us. The episode where you inflate the chocolates when they were going down.


The thing, by the way, it is. It actually is. Cloris Leachman passed away. Yes. And I had like four pictures of me and her to choose from. Yeah.


I mean, I said it was they say the Cloris Leachman died. Not that you took pictures yet. Listen, you have to join the ranks of the legends. You know what? I wanted to join the ranks, ascend the golden staircase.


I want to be a judge on one of those mask's shows. Macing. I wanted to be a judge. Well, that's nice. And I want to do that. Well, it's not your comedy.


Most of the year, two months as a judge, I'm one of those ridiculous shows because people still watch those. But you can do it. They're fun that I had. I have fun doing that. You get that gig? Yes. So I was a guest host en masse dancer last night. I went and shot it like a couple of months ago.


It was a fucking blast in the studio and everything. Yeah, yeah. We went shot. It was like Ashley Tisdale and Paula Abdul and Brian Austin Green and Dr Ken.


I was like, who and who? And Ray Robinson was the green, the guy from 92 and. Oh, yes, but he won.


But this is not a tuto, the first one. But here's what I'll say. Remember, he shot his friend or his friend killed himself. And I did, too. And I remember that I brought it up with the best answer. They cut it out. Oh, really?


I was like, yeah, I remember I was producing green that shot himself. He's making that must answer money. I'm sure he is possible. I would. Is that doesn't that sound fun, everyone. But here's what I'll say. I want to sound good. I went to see someone dressed up like a crab.


I'm on the fox lot.


I went on the best answer. I was like, this is what Hollywood should be a ridiculous spectacle with a bunch of idiots not pretending they're better than anyone. We're in sequined costumes. We're doing dumb dances with washed up. This is what this is what it should be. Ridiculous. A circus, a ridiculous clown show spectacle. Yeah. Silvio Berlusconi, one on one. Why were we pretending? We were artists and had a craft and we were taking ourselves there.


We're fucking pigs. We're disgusting, mentally ill pigs that are entertaining for like an hour a day. This is. But we should be doing right. Well, I wish you luck in your new career at the best dancer, I've never seen the show, but I'm sure it's good and I think people need to watch it.


And between handfuls of OxyContin or whatever they're doing in this country, wherever people are doing in this country, in between that, while they're scratching themselves in an opioid rage, they should watch Brian Austin green dress up like Sebastian from The Little Mermaid and Dance.


It's pretty fucking entertaining. I bet it is. I think that you know what it is, because that's what it's come to, is that watching people dancing costumes, you realize like when you see an actor acting, you're like, oh, that's the guy that dated the so-and-so or that's the guy that so-and-so like. It's actors distracting now because we know too much about them. You know, I'm saying. But someone in a costume performing and you're just like, oh, I can just sit here.


That was the only time I've been entertained in, like, months.


Well, I'm got to watch it because it is super popular and I have friends who watch it, who I respect. So I'm like, why are you watching that? But they're like, what are we supposed to do with your podcast over and over again? I'm like, yes, because it's like mine.


It's what entertainment supposed to be. Mindless fun we can't play a clip from. Can't be silly. Yeah, we can play it mindless campy. Held on Whitney Cummings best answer. Yeah.


Because I'm interested in it also could be my dear friend Kate Upton had a baby has a similar height. Oh I'm sorry. OK, well Kate Upton is my actual friend. OK, I'm calling to see if she really knows who you are. If she doesn't answer, this could be Kate Upton.


Like I, you know, it was like I don't that's a weird trailer. That's, you know, whatever.


It's just like silly shit. Do you know what I mean? It's insanity. It's apocalyptic entertainment, you know, mass dancer.


They're just watching you watch this band. Here we go.


Look at this. This is a television show. Flower is a beautiful bouquet of new clues for you.


It's a game show. You have to figure it out. It's math. You have to be engaged. TV knows it's TV, knows it's not relevant anymore.


They know they have to do something to make you addicted is the game I call Rapid Fire.


Let's see what I like. You just done a Martin. We'll start look at the editing.


They know how short our attention span. I know it's my understanding is this is perfect. Let's see what question you ask you.


You graduated. I don't know. What was that? Would you retire?


I never thought about it. That's because she's young.


How are you at memorizing dialogue formats? How could I be an actor? OK, what would be worth running out of gas or running low on battery on your phone? Oh, of course. Yes.


So what does that mindless know what you're talking about from the clues?


Who do you think this is, Ken? I still think this is an actor and a trained dancer. I thought this was Heather Morris.


I mean, this is the future of TV right back. Well, count me out and count me out. It's like there's no interest. I mean, imagine sitting on a panel. I mean, like, hey, who are you? Like, that is how will you show me is a hell to drive my car to that lot. Sit on that studio, covid tested swabs and your nose and ass. You sit there and you're going to sit next to and then you got to go, oh my God, you acted.


You said, what's your relationship like your sister. You have a talk with your sister. To me that is the seventh ring of hell, truly.


Well, I get it. Let people love it. Yeah, I mean, you will. There's a point where network television will come to you with an amount of money and you're like work for days for this amount of money, you'll change your mind.


And when that everyone came, you know what you're like the new paten Oswal.


He's like, fuck no. We're you guys aren't the first people to say fuck Hollywood. Like like in like all comics. We're doing this like ten years ago. Yeah. And Patton was always like, oh, sitcoms are stupid.


And then he's on his in Ratatouille and on two and a half or whatever man I'm in I'm the king of Queens like what are we doing.


You you'll you all sell out. No, actually I've been around long enough to know that you all sell out. Do you know the sway houses. I do know you do. Yes I do. What is I not a pedophile. So I haven't been there.


Tim, everyone is over eighteen but it is this way. It is it is required is to join.


I believe it is where they go the big tick tock content and they do their lazy cheerleading for the camera which is not sustainable.


I want to talk about it. Is there such an anger. It's not sustainable. It's such an anger. How we are wired for completion. Storytelling will never go away. Oh boy. It will never go away.


Who says women are grating? When you talk about these tech talkers, it sounds like you've just swallowed a bit of acid.


No, and not to dance in the mirror. When I was eighteen, I'm so glad I didn't put it on Instagram.


I was like on something permanent.


Well, I'm just saying don't hit on my boys. We're just trying to do what we got to do. You know, we've taken over this town and that's that's where I'm at. You know, it's really interesting, the comics that have become somewhat irrelevant during this time. Yes.


Is this theory carry anyway? Like I do feel like it's kind of like survival of the kindest, you know, because of the people that are kind to each other, the ones that get on each other's pod, don't you think?


Because it's kind of because the people that were dicks.


Yeah. Are kind of going away. Yes, that is true. But I also think they'll be back. They'll be back, you think? Yeah, but I think that there's never going to be one world anymore.


That's the that's hard to understand that there will never be one world anymore.


Yeah. So the people that are gone are going to come back, but they're going to be in another dimension and they're going to do things like the master answer that I don't give a shit about. And I was going to be a kid, but there's a bazillion people watching. Yeah, but I don't care. Yeah. And yeah, he's got a little dumb show on YouTube.


I'm like, yeah but there's half a million people watching like really like but whatever we don't like that's cool too. Everyone's going to live in a different world.


I don't wanna have to live in somebody else's world. I don't want them to have to live in my world. Choose your own reality. Twenty, twenty one. You choose your own reality.


You're like you can have you can also do this for two months and then go to your other thing for two months of this year.


And it's like, oh wait, you shoot that for like a week months, get in, get the fuck asked to answer.


I mean it's just a create. So that's the argument. Stand out like, well, you're right, I'm not going to go to Austin. Hopefully I'll get on the masked dancer and I'm not even big enough to be a judge. I'm not nearly big enough to be a judge. That's what's crazy.


You will at some point. Here's John Temes like, fuck Hollywood, they won't hire me, they will you just keep calling them pedophiles every week, you call them baby dick eating pedophiles like they want to hire you. They you and Theo look for the Hollywood won't hire me. They don't respect musical. All you do is say that they are hire us to do what rotten pizza places with babies being trafficked on our own.


Yeah, well, here's you're not you're making it very hard for them. We do business with you. What we're doing is relevant and what you're doing is irrelevant. That's the reality matters to answer is not relevant to anyone except corn fed pigs who are like falling out of their disgusting cars and crawling into a golden corral. That's who watches that show, people whose brains have leaked out of their ears. And there's nothing wrong with that.


They deserve entertainment, too, all the way even younger demo than Tock. I'm getting ten year olds on the maths dancer. Oh, well, you should be proud. Why do I why would I call Hollywood pedophiles?


We're going to get them early.


Why would I think I was on there and they were like, you know, this is like a kid's show. No, I had no. I think that if you cut this up with clips, you should cut it up to make it look like I mean, when you got a big like a big fight where I go, you're a rat. What I'm going to do about it, and I'm telling you, very smart. None of you will do this.


But I'm telling you, I get views. What you should do is actually make it look very, like, contentious and put like, dun dun dun dun dun music.


It is me with my sketches, like, I feel like we're still healing from our fight. It's not contentious on my own. You're on your stock market.


I'm so on another planet. I don't even do this anymore. Like you're talking to me as a comedian. I'm not even a comedian. No.


You're fully like your business man. Hold the line. I want to talk to your brother. I want to have an hour conversation. Oh, you should. About this really quick. Am I buying Bitcoin this week?


Sure. Why?


Because it's going to be a thing. It's going to be here. It's going to stay. I think that the you know, it'll go up and I don't think there's going to be a massive crash.


I think it's something that you should own. You should absolutely own one.


I took my money out of cannabis. I don't keep money in cannabis. I keep money in electric cars, keep money and everything that's going to happen. Right. Cannabis is going to be legal. Electric cars are the wave of the future. Tesla's massive stock like, you know, right now, the two most think that I believe in most are video game stores and movie theaters. That I believe in most in terms of the trends that are happening, Hollywood's dad, but movie theaters are like no one's making movies but movie theaters are.


This should be called hold the line to this title. Your episodes hold the line.


I love that you hate Hollywood movies, but you're investing in movie theaters. But here's the thing.


What you're calling Hollywood is actually just a fire. And Hollywood is actually the things that you hate, which is people like me, the tick talkers. Yeah, I don't disagree. I let go of it. What about Snapchat? No, it's fine as the authority on all things social media.


Well, I just I think tick tock is not I don't have a lot of followers on tick tock because I've devoted most of my time to managing money.


But I, I recognize the power of being young Hollywood and being 17 years old and having people like you hate on me. But that's OK. That's part of my journey. Part of my journey is to get hate it on and still flourish. My haters make me stronger, that's all.


There is something kind of amazing about this new generation. They d.m. each other. They help each other.


It's such the opposite of how comedians on a collaborative generation were taking over. Huh?


We. Yeah. Oh, I am the boss. And they are me. We're all one.


But why did why then? I'm just curious. What about what they did. Was there just the girls next door and they just they were consistent and they just did it, you know. What do you want me to do? I can't tell you why me and my friends are the coolest people in the country.


Charlie DeMille went on, It is my best friend. I told him he is my best friend.


If Charlie DeMille went on a theater tour tomorrow, how many tickets which you sell in America? I don't know. Is it you just don't know what's translating to tickets? I bet it would be a thrill. I bet you put some numbers in the United States. I bet she's aren't like random China numbers. India. That's right.


Let's say a quarter. Let's say three quarters of our Tic-Tac fact. Can you see still leaves her. That's twenty five million people.


Can you see on Tick-Tock where your followers live like you can on Instagram?


I don't know. I don't think so. That's shady to me. I'm sure it's shady. Of course. Take that shady. Yeah but you've got to get on shriller. But that too is the new tick tock.


What you old goat triggers the new tick tock thriller. Yeah, it's a new tick tock.


Did you whatever happened with Stich snitch. Twitch, twitch. Twitch is there. I started twitch empire people making money on Twitch.


Yeah. Yeah. What's happening with Twitch. People are gaming fans roast.


I want to do a roast that's all on only fans and it's like, like the dirty jokes that we're not allowed to tell.


I don't want to shoot on sex workers but OK, I'm not an old conservative Republican like you. I'm a liberal, progressive, Black Lives Matter stance. So I don't want to only fans. Yeah, I don't want to shit on people that are trying to make a living.


I think we can I think if you want to do an independently distributed thing, you could do not only films, you can shoot a special put on only fans. No, I don't think so.


I think we need to not I think we should set off on fans, let them have it, OK?


People are going to have something.


And what I mean, yeah, money leaving me my first bike on the road, what happened is, like we put so much effort into your house goes up, it goes on a truck and it drives 20 hours. Not even to my place is in Austin. All the furniture looks better in the Texas house. It's true. Absolutely.


So my aesthetic, it's beautiful. Works perfect. And you're going to live together? No, he's going to have a house with his wife. OK, yeah. He can afford a house in Texas. You know, I'm jealous, I'm sure you feel left out and it's you know, you're going to be fine. We're all going to be back in L.A. I'm going to come back to L.A. all the time. It's nothing. If I didn't tell you I was moving to Texas, you wouldn't know.


You know what I mean, maybe that might be true. Yeah, yeah, because you've been in Palm Springs and yeah, I've been here. I've been there. It's just like I'm just told we have to move all the time.


That's the other thing I have to make. Like, it's like we are young men, I guarantee you. Listen, you want to hear this because you're fixing up this house can be beautiful.


I'm just saying there's a real possibility you're not going to want to spend time where you quarantined when it's so interesting.


Well, you know, also the house that I'm staying in now where I had covered the bedroom I had it in, I can't even look at it. I just I don't like it is I don't to think about it.


I think when the quarantine ends. Yeah. You're going to look at this house and you're going to know this reminds me. Well, this is going to be over water.


Yeah. You're going to say, well, yeah, but it's not it's going to be still the house that you were in jail and you're going to go, I don't know. And you going to put on market yourself a good amount of money.


Interesting. And then you're going to go you're always going have a place here. You're going to downsize a little bit. You're going to get a beautiful place here, and you're going to buy a place in Austin or Texas or wherever for for good reason. And you're going to buy a rate.


You'll probably have a ranch, places without income tax art in Nevada, Florida, Florida, Texas, Tennessee, Alaska. Yeah, maybe. I don't know.


I don't know all of them. Yeah. Washington State maybe. I don't know. But I'll tell you this. I think you're going to live here for a while. If you live here for a year after the done, I think you'll live here for a year.


But I think eventually you're going to put it on the market and go and you going to put it on the market, because this was the quarantine was interesting.


Yeah, I believe so. I feel like we had a good quarantine here. It was great. I don't think I haven't had a negative like we kind of made it. We didn't have a negative experience. It doesn't matter.


You got to keep moving. Your shark got to keep moving. So true. Got to keep moving. You got to keep moving. I have to keep moving. I want to go get the house Malibu. And then I went, this isn't enough. This isn't far. And I need a change. I need everything to Jess, your cabin fever, everything to change. I need out of the state. I need out of this thing. I can't be like driving to West Hollywood being like, is the Comedy Store open?


Having another dinner, looking at a place I used to work for several. All my friends don't live here anymore. Comedy is not coming back. And I'm driving around like looking at the bombed out buildings being like, well, it's going to but one day it's going to.


Nope. Got to be new. It's all going to always be new. And I'm sure five years in Austin I'll be like, it's got to be new. I'll keep a house there for taxes. But I'm like, I might go. I'm getting an apartment in New York City. I, like, really know you're going to be like a Palm Beach person.


Ultimate very like a very, very possible. Yeah, very possible. Where you belong.


Epstein's house is for sale.


It's beautiful home, but it's not nearly as nice as some of the other ones. But yeah, man, I don't think I'll spend the rest of my life in Texas. Yeah, but I do think I'm there. I think it's a five year game there. I'm thirty six forty forty one.


Like I don't know how much, I don't know how much juice is left in anything. Yeah. And like you know, who knows. There's a podcast and five years of my life. God I love this. Am I like this has become something else. Is it a late night show that I hosted on YouTube and on other platforms.


Am I like I do I want to in five years to have enough money.


I want to make a movie. I'm going to move to L.A. for a year and like trying to make a movie. And then Ben comes out every month and we spend a week having meetings. I don't know. It's all fine. He'll travel. I'll travel.


He's the only dude I really need in terms like a collaborative partnership that we work on stuff all the time. And, you know, he'll have a wife, they'll have a few kids. But like, he works. He shows up all the time and works. And like, if I'm going to travel or if he's got to go somewhere and we got to pitch something or whatever, we'll do it.


But I just think getting out of this area where literally everything I know is just over and for me to keep saying like, oh, no, but you got to understand when it comes back, I keep saying when it comes back, I start to feel like a crazy person.


I really do feel like a crazy person because it's like I don't know if it's coming back or how it's coming back, you know, like, no, when it comes back, it's like it's a good girl, you know, the relationship where they both go to different colleges. Yeah.


Like when we see each other. Yeah, we see it, you know, on Thanksgiving weekend we have Christmas and it's just not it's over.


And it's by the way, if I was in New York too, and I would fucking get out of there, it's just wherever the hell you are, it's like whatever you are. And especially the scene in L.A. has been bombed.


Do we know how Chappelle got covered? I don't know it. Some person was with him that I can't remember.


Right. Because those shows were doing OK. I mean, I don't know. I'm touring next month. We'll see. I'm touring next month to where are you going?


Tell everyone I'm going to Baltimore. I'm going to Rodgers. Ford, Pennsylvania. Baltimore.


Mahgoub Is that a great club? I always run my yes specials there before I shoot.


I was in Baltimore with comedy is actually Providence, Rhode Island. I'm doing Rollinsford, Pennsylvania, a dome, a heated dome. I mean, that's what we have to do now.


How many is it? Half capacity. Whatever. Something. Yeah, something that people in hazmat suits clarities in Cleveland, Zanies in Chicago Soldat or the Improv in Chicago shamberg and sold out.


We're not sold out yet. So amazing tickets left. Yeah. I mean, I'm excited. I'm excited for the next chapter, but there's got to be a next chapter. And I think that for too long I was still trying to reshuffle the cards.


He. And I was not it wasn't exciting, wasn't exciting, I guess what I'm realizing about podcasting as I'm talking to you is I'm kind of shy. Yeah.


Like I'm not this like this is hard for me to do. Right.


It's difficult because you're, like, hiding behind a computer, writing the thing, giving it and then doing the thing after it's been practiced for a long time.


Well, for the first time I leave a podcast, I have a complete nervous breakdown.


I was like, that was terrible.


I'm quitting podcasting for no, because usually when you're authentic, you're real. Everyone loves you. It's just like the listen, everyone's got to get used to it. It's very different. And I think the like for the first half of your career, the movies were silent. These were silent films. So you just had to look at someone and they knew what you were talking about. You didn't have to learn dialogue or anything. And then when they started doing color, they did color.


And you're like, oh, my God, I'm in color. And then they did. Then they did. Talking in the films dialogue. You've seen all of these advancements happen. Now people have TVs in their home like you saw people get TVs in their home. In the beginning, you were on a show called The Shadow, which was a radio show, which was one of the top radio shows. And they were interrupted every now and then when there was an announcement about the war.


But you've gone through all of these things and now you're like now you just have to learn to be yourself. Not now. You're just back. Oh, God. What we're doing now is back to the basics.


I feel like I'm full Valerie Cherish from the come back at this point. Yes. Yeah, a little bit.


I mean, how do you not watch TV at all? You know, my shows. No, nothing.


I watch succession. I watch Cobra Kai. I used to watch those. Ah I watch Curb sometimes not a ton but I got to be honest with you, not a lot of TV.


Interesting dude.


I really, I'm more listen to podcasts or I'm more and I don't listen to a podcast but other people I know people as you listen to podcast as a fan you like if I'm interested in something I will listen to Allex Freeman podcast for an hour and try to learn about what somebody is talking about.


I feel like I should have a kid with Lex Friedman. Yeah, that would be interesting. I've got a well-adjusted kid. Don't you think that's a good idea?


I feel like we should have a kid together. We don't do anything. No.


Yeah, I mean, he's an interesting guy, sweetheart. Brilliant guy, short, good golfer. You have my blessing. I think you have my blessing.


So you listen, Alexis podcast. I listen, Alexis, I want to learn shit, OK? Every now and then. Not always.


But I mean, I don't know, man. I don't I mean, do we watch TV? But I don't really think we do like it's boring.


I'm bored. Yeah. I'd rather like go on clubhouse like listen people and talk.


Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of boring. Well clubhouse is like the new reality TV with, you know what I mean. But but reality TV's never been real. This is like the real reality TV, right? It's a bunch of people. They get people get in fights. People are like, it's interesting. Yeah, I like it. It's just pure chaos. Just mutiny. Yeah. Yeah. I love you.


Well, I love you too. And I and I hope you come visit. I feel like we did a very mellow kind of serious podcast today.


People need to hear the truth. Hold the line. Hold the line.


I love you. I love you. Thank you for having me. For you. For not canceling. Thank you for having me.


Feel like we're Tim Dylan Show Tim Jay Dylan on Instagram. Twitter among Clubhouse Family on clubhouse tomorrow.


Dylan can't get on clubhouse without an invite then don't. Not public yet. I'm a venture capitalist. Thank you.